Darren’s Daily Dose of Weird News – July 09, 2010

Police said a 30-year-old woman apparently fell out of a third-story window, landed on her parked car, and then walked into a neighbor’s house, where she fell asleep on a couch for two hours. Lakemoor Police Chief Mike Marchese said family members believe the woman woke up before dawn Thursday and fell through the screen while opening a third-floor window.  Marchese said the woman bounced off the hood of her car, walked through a neighbor’s open garage door and went into the house.  The neighbor found her asleep two hours later and called 911.  ***MARLAR: Paramedics immediately administered Red Bull.

A Chihuahua’s oddly curved back and legs and closed-up left eye earned the 4-year-old rescue dog top honors at the World’s Ugliest Dog contest at a Northern California fair on Friday.  Sporting a gray, brown and black coat, Princess Abby Francis beat a rough-looking slate of candidates for the prize, including Pabst, a teeth-bearing boxer mix who won last year.  ***MARLAR: Third in the ugliest dog contest… Sarah Jessica Parker.

A motorcyclist escaped serious injury Saturday when he collided with a black bear that unexpectedly ran across a northwestern New Jersey highway. Sgt. Julian Castellanos, a state police spokesman, said the man was northbound on Route 94 in the Sussex County community of Fredon when the accident occurred around 9:30 a.m.  The motorcyclist – whose name was not released – was taken to Newton Memorial Hospital, where he was treated for minor injuries and later released.  Castellanos said the bear also survived and walked into the woods.  ***MARLAR: It’s not often you hear of a hog attacking a bear.

Police Chief Richard Knoebel of Kewaskum, Wisconsin, wrote himself a 235-dollar traffic citation for passing a stopped school bus with its emergency lights flashing. Knoebel paid the fine the next day and docked himself four points on his driving record. He says he was distracted by a stopped dump truck and a passing car, and didn’t notice the school bus until it was too late. But the chief says that’s no excuse. ***MARLAR: Good thing he wasn’t drinking. Can you imagine him conducting his own roadside sobriety test?

Talk about an oversized load: A 4-year-old boy got stuck when he climbed into his family’s top-loading washing machine, and firefighters had to use a metal cutter to slice into the appliance to get him out. ***MARLAR: The poor kid thought he’d get trouble for getting his new pants dirty, so he decided to wash them – just imagine what kind of trouble he’s in now.

Southern California plastic surgeon Dr. Theodore Corwin has a new celebrity patient — Feznick the kangaroo. Feznick’s show biz career was in jeopardy, because of a wolf bite. Feznick stuck his snout under a fence at a farm for Hollywood animals and the wolf took a chunk out of his lip. What director would hire a kangaroo that can only sneer? Enter Dr. Corwin, who repaired Feznick’s lip. He didn’t charge for the surgery. Surgical nurse Jeanine Rich says operating on a kangaroo is a lot like surgery on people, except a little hairier. ***MARLAR: Although it was weird when the kangaroo asked for lips like Angelina Jolie.

A Calvert, Maryland, woman began choking, and her golden retriever Toby jumped up and down on her chest, performing the Heimlich Maneuver and saving her life.  ***MARLAR: As a reward, the dog will be allowed to beg and be fed under the table for the rest of its life.

An eighth-grader in Monterey, California, did a science report on his brother’s dyslexia and ended up receiving an $87,000 government grant to study the problem. ***MARLAR: After hearing about this story, I’m hoping to get a grant myself. I’m strongly considering doing a report on life as a couch potato.

Christy Walton, the widow of Wal-Mart founder John Walton, is now the world’s richest woman. She also owns a stake in solar power outfit First Solar; late husband John was an early investor in the alternative energy company. Her net worth is now $20 billion.  ***MARLAR: Ironically, she’s one of the few people in American that can afford not to shop at Wal-Mart.

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