Darren’s Daily Dose of Weird News – July 16, 2010

Authorities have arrested a man accused of breaking into a home near Roswell High School at around 2:30 p.m. Wednesday and taking a shower. Roswell police spokesman Lt. James McGee said neighbors tell police they saw a man entering the home.  Police said the homeowner then arrived and found someone taking a shower. McGee said the woman talked to the man who was in the shower, then came back out of the house.  She called police who got the man out.  McGee said the unidentified man insisted he was the “Duke of Germany” before he was taken to jail in north Fulton County.  ***MARLAR: The “Duke” apparently was confused on the concept of making a clean getaway.

A western Kentucky woman’s attempt to get her son out of jail on bond came undone over a misspelling. The Paducah Sun reported court officials became suspicious when the 44-year-old mother presented a letter allegedly from Wagner Moving and Storage. The woman knew bond for her son would be lowered if he had written proof of a job.  But the company name was misspelled and when investigators checked, they learned the woman had asked for such a letter from the company and had been denied.  She was jailed Tuesday on a charge of evidence tampering. Her son was charged with receiving stolen property.  They both were in jail Wednesday in lieu of cash bonds.  ***MARLAR: But now their family is together… and that’s the important thing.

Wal-Mart Stores Inc. said Tuesday that Bill Simon is taking over as president and CEO of its U.S. operations, replacing Eduardo Castro-Wright who is shifting to lead the retailer’s Global.com and global sourcing divisions.  ***MARLAR: So from now on, Wal-Mart will be run as Simon says.

Archeologists have uncovered a mass grave with the complete skeletons of 51 horses buried side-by-side, probably the long-forgotten equine victims of a 17th century battle over a strategic Dutch river.  ***MARLAR: A local elementary school is denying the find has anything to do with Mystery Meat Monday.

It might look like Christmas in July on the streets of New York. The Salvation Army’s red kettles and bell ringers are returning to the city next week. Salvation Army officials say the idea is to help people hardest hit by the recession. The “Kettles in July” drive will run through the end of this month.  The Salvation Army says it has seen a 40 percent increase in people seeking help at its New York area shelters. ***MARLAR: The hard part is getting bell ringers to dress in a red fur suit and white beard when it’s 104-degrees outside.

A man has admitted living in a northeastern Pennsylvania family’s attic for more than a week and occasionally going into the house when no one was there.  Stanley Wayne Carter also admits stealing belongings while the homeowner and her children were out of the house in Plains Township, about 100 miles from Philadelphia.  The 21-year-old from Trumann, Ark., pleaded guilty Tuesday in Luzerne County Court to burglary, trespassing and other offenses.  When asked if he had anything to say to homeowner Stacy Ferrance and her family, he said, “I’m sorry.”  Carter had been staying with Ferrance’s neighbors, whom he knew.  But when they asked him to leave, he went into the attic shared by the two homes and lived there for 10 days in December.  He’ll be sentenced in July.  ***MARLAR: Just because you have to duck to keep from hitting your head on the support beams does NOT mean you have squatter’s rights.

Elise Tan Roberts may be young, but she’s already accomplished something the majority of us never will: She has become a member of Mensa. At just 2 years, 4 months and 2 weeks old, Elise has an estimated I.Q. of 156 — putting her in the top 0.2 percent of children her age and qualifying her as the youngest member of the well-known society for smart people.  ***MARLAR: If she’s so smart, why is she still sucking her thumb?

Steven Griesbach and Paul Simon take energy independence seriously. They make their own biodiesel gasoline. But their home-brewed fuel has gotten them in some hot water with Wisconsin tax officials. The state Department of Revenue has informed the two they need to pay fuel tax on anything they pour into their gas tanks… which could range from two-cents, to 31-cents a gallon on the homemade fuel. ***MARLAR: This is totally wrong.  Why should you be taxed for something you make on your own and don’t sell?  Can they tax all homemade gas?  If so, I have to stop eating my wife’s Mexican casserole.

Washington D.C. is looking for a new slogan.  Washington tourism officials are spending 150-thousand dollars to create a new catchphrase for the nation’s capital. You know, something like Las Vegas’ slogan: “What happens here, stays here.  DC’s current slogan is “Celebrate and Discover.”  ***MARLAR: How about, “D.C. – the global warming capitol of the world… all the hot air comes from here!”

Students in Singapore put a gene from a jellyfish into a plant, so it glows when it needs water.  ***MARLAR: Why not also put in a gene from humans so when it needs water it can just get up and get it itself?

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