Darren’s Daily Dose of Weird News – July 28, 2010

DailyDoseNewsHIV/AIDS activists said there is no new federal money in this strategy. Rather, it redirects money that has already been allocated.  Obama acknowledged that these are challenging times for Americans living with HIV/AIDS because the economy is forcing states are being forced to cut back on assistance for drugs.  “I know the need is great,” he said. “And that’s why we’ve increased federal assistance each year that I’ve been in office.”  ***MARLAR: Each year he’s been in office?  How long does he think he’s been the President?  You can’t say “each year I’ve been in office” when you’ve only been in office a year and a half.

Along the coast, droplets of oil are being found inside the shells of young crabs.  ***MARLAR: And you thought seafood had high cholesterol before BP!

Retail sales fell in June for the second straight month, more evidence that the recovery will slow in the second half of the year. Spending on retail goods dropped 0.5 percent in June, according to the Commerce Department.  ***MARLAR: To reverse the trend, Wal-Mart already has their Christmas isles up.

Kohl’s Department Stores is giving people a chance to decide which 20 schools across the nation will each receive grants worth half a million dollars. All public and private elementary, middle and high schools that meet contest criteria are eligible. The winners will be picked through a Facebook contest, in which people can nominate schools and cast votes.  ***MARLAR: Reinforcing the fact that school is one giant popularity contest.

Some meals aren’t car-friendly. Police in Needham, Massachusetts stopped a man for alleged erratic driving and found he’d been trying to eat a bowl of cereal and milk. Sounds like the man thought he had a good excuse. He told officers he was hungry.  ***MARLAR: I heard this story driving in this morning and was laughing so hard I dropped by electric shaver in my oatmeal.

Is that a banana under your shirt or do you just want to rob me? A 17-year-old tried to hold-up an Internet cafe in Winston-Salem, North Carolina with a banana. Actually, he had the banana inside his shirt hoping it looked like he had a gun. Cops say the guy walked into the cafe, demanded money and said he had a gun. The cafe’s owner and a customer brought him down. It’s not known if the guy ever tried to draw his banana.  ***MARLAR: And sadly, even with a banana, the kid still couldn’t give cops the slip.

An Ohio man who argued with his grown son over a messy bedroom says he overreacted when he called 911.  Andrew Mizsak called authorities after his 28-year-old son – who’s a school board member in the Cleveland suburb of Bedford – threw a plate of food across the kitchen table and made a fist at him when told to clean his room.  The son, also named Andrew, lives in a room in his parents’ basement.  The father declined to press charges and told police he doesn’t want to ruin his son’s political career.  The son, who also works as a political consultant, says he’s lucky to be living in the house rent free. He also promises to keep his room clean.  ***MARLAR: He doesn’t want to ruin his son’s political career – but he’s totally fine with reporting to the world that his son is a loser, lives in his parent’s basement, and has a messy bedroom?

Revenue and jobs at the U.S. gambling halls fell last year as Americans became less willing to risk their money. The study by the American Gaming Association found revenue nationwide was down 4.7 percent to $32.5 billion. The year before, revenue had increased by 5.3 percent. The nation has more than 1,600 casinos, slot parlors and other gambling halls. The number of casino jobs fell 1 percent to more than 357,000.  ***MARLAR: Gee, maybe we should give them a bailout.

In the 1960s Gatorade was supposed to be the magic sports elixir. In the 70s many athletes consumed bee pollen to energize themselves to the max. A few years ago a Chinese coach who trained record-breaking long-distance runners claimed that they ran faster when they snacked on worms. ***MARLAR: That’s AFTER spending twenty minutes heaving in the men’s room once you’ve eaten them.

In Chicago, a woman is suing her dance partner, claiming “negligent dancing” when he dropped her on her head after flipping her into the air at an office party.  ***MARLAR: If someone can sue for “negligent dancing” I’m in biiiiig trouble.

A $20-million German lottery winner says he plans to build the world’s largest pigeon coop. The unidentified man lives in a modest apartment with his family so he said the first thing he will do is buy a house in the country far enough from neighbors so he can build his giant pigeon hotel without disturbing anyone.  ***MARLAR: I might also suggest he purchase a giant shovel.

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