Darren’s Daily Dose of Weird News – June 07, 2010

A Nevada detective who serves as spokesman for a county sheriff’s office was arrested and released, then sent media a release about it, accompanied by his booking photo.  David Boruchowitz turned himself in to Nye County jail on Friday. He was charged with burglary and assault to try to harass candidates for public office.  The warrant for his arrest was issued by a special prosecutor appointed by a district attorney who was arrested May 5 on felony embezzlement, fraud and public misconduct charges.  Boruchowitz says in his release that his duties include investigating and arresting people who commit crimes, “no matter who they may be.”  Boruchowitz says he investigated his own case honestly and within state laws.  ***MARLAR: Who wouldn’t give their left arm to have a guy on the payroll that’s this dedicated to his job?

A wrong number led police to make a drug bust at a motel in Wenatchee. The Wenatchee World reported a man staying at one room attempted to call someone staying in Room 119 – but dialed 911 instead. Officers arrived Wednesday to see if there was a problem and discovered there was an arrest warrant for the man in Room 119.  They arrested the 29-year-old man and seized heroin and other drugs.  ***MARLAR: Sounds like he might’ve been using some of his own product before trying to dial the phone.

The phrase “one foot in the grave” has a whole new meaning for Clara Connelly. 81-year-old Connelly was visiting her husband’s grave Sunday at a Monmouth, Oregon cemetery when she stepped near the edge of a recent burial and her foot plummeted into the soggy ground. She was stuck up to her knee in mud for nearly an hour before managing to pull free. Connelly said during the ordeal she laid her head on the nearby stone marking the resting place of her sister and brother-in-law and prayed. Every time she tried to pull her leg out, it seemed to sink farther “like quicksand.” Family members joked that her husband and other loved ones buried nearby must have wanted her to join them.  ***MARLAR: Apparently her family isn’t familiar with the concept of humor.

The perception that other countries hold about the U.S. continues to be a big concern. It seems we still have some areas to improve in. Paul Hellyer, a former Canadian minister of defense, has asked Parliament to hold hearings on extraterrestrials because as he puts it, “UFO’s are as real as the airplanes that fly over your head,” and he fears the U.S. military might get Earth involved in an intergalactic war. ***MARLAR: Want to really freak this guy out?  Give him a King James Bible and have him read Hebrews 11:34.  (“Quenched the violence of fire, escaped the edge of the sword, out of weakness were made strong, waxed valiant in fight, turned to flight the armies of the aliens.”)

A retirement home is threatening three elderly ladies with eviction if they don’t straighten up their act. The problem? They’ve been fighting with nurses and staff over a tablecloth. It’s gotten so bad that the ladies have now been given a final warning… shape up or ship out. One housekeeper already quit her job because of the women, but the elderly ladies say that it’s all just stupid… they’re just upset because they don’t want to eat on a plastic tablecloth. ***MARLAR: These ladies are a food-fight waiting to happen.  Plastic tablecloths sound like a pretty good idea to me.

A University of Minnesota study found that kids who eat breakfast are less likely to be overweight.  ***MARLAR: So before you leave the house, be sure to finish that Red Bull and pack of Ho-Hos.

In Ohio, a cow that escaped from a slaughterhouse was finally captured after eleven days of being on the run. ***MARLAR: Which raised its value as it could then be sold as LEAN beef.

Two Kootenai County, Idaho, men were arrested for polluting because they dumped dirt in a forest.  ***MARLAR: In a related story, a bear was arrested for polluting after it did its business in the woods.

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