Darren’s Daily Dose of Weird News – June 16, 2010

An Ohio woman needed animal control, not a mechanic, when it turned out the thumping under her car’s hood was coming from a stowaway groundhog. Rebecca Martin said she heard the noise last Tuesday while running errands with other family members in Athens in southeast Ohio.  When they pulled over in a Walmart parking lot and lifted the hood, Martin said up popped one of the largest groundhogs she’d ever seen.  ***MARLAR: Sadly, it saw its shadow meaning we have six more weeks of high gas prices.

Police in Iowa City said a man who called them to report that he’d been punched while on the Iowa City pedestrian mall, was punched again by a second person while he was on the phone with his 911 call.  Police said the man, whose name was not released, told 911 dispatchers early Tuesday morning that he had just been assaulted in the 100 block of East College St. and was following the person who did it. Police said that while he was speaking with officers, a friend of the original assailant punched the man and knocked him to the ground.  The victim was treated at University Hospitals for what are believed to be minor injuries to the head.  ***MARLAR: They hope to remove the cell phone from his ear canal by early next week.

A Washington state lawmaker thinks you should be able to have a drink with your best friend. State Senator Ken Jacobsen is introducing a bill that would allow Fido into pubs. The brew pups would have to be leashed and well behaved. The Seattle Democrat says he got the idea after sitting in a popular bar and seeing cold, shivering dogs forced to wait outside for their owners. A public hearing on the dog-friendly bar bill is slated for later this month.  ***MARLAR: Here’s an idea… leave the dog at home!  Why go anywhere where the pretzel bowl might double as a doggie dish?

A new study shows that nearly half of defensive and offensive linemen playing high school football in Iowa are overweight. And one in ten could be considered severely obese.  Players say there’s pressure to get bigger, whether it comes from parents, coaches or within. They say they look up to college and pro football players — some of whom top 300 pounds.  ***MARLAR: What do you expect when you’re required to play with what’s called a pig-skin?  Isn’t that just a giant pork-rind?

A man who stole a urinal from a pub in Southampton, England, returned it after the theft made worldwide news, explaining to police that he’d taken it as a souvenir.  ***MARLAR: Were they out of t-shirts?

Sunday is Father’s Day.  It seems like only yesterday, Dad was looking over your shoulder, giving you advice on such trivial things as how to mow the lawn.  Come to think of it, that WAS yesterday.

Family Circle magazine says one trend this Fathers Day is to buy a toy for your Dad.  94% of all dads would like to receive an electronic gadget; 88% would like dinner; 80% would like a framed family photo; 78% would like sports equipment or tickets. ***MARLAR: That comes to 340%… perhaps some of these fathers should be spending a little more time teaching their children math.

In New York, Graceful Services Spa is offering a special massage for people who get sore from sending too many e-mail messages on their tiny BlackBerry keyboards. The two-way pager-like device has given rise to a condition known as “BlackBerry Thumb.”  The Blackberry Thumb massage is 60-bucks.  ***MARLAR: Doesn’t Blackberry Thumb sound like something Little Jack Horner would get?

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