Darren’s Daily Dose of Weird News – June 26, 2010

Police said a Connecticut man who appeared at a courthouse to answer a larceny charge broke into several cars in front of the building, took a GPS unit and inadvertently tried to sell it to its owner.  ***MARLAR: Why would you buy back your GPS?  It’s just one more woman telling me you can’t drive.

Police in Ellensburg, Wash., said a man looking for a place to sleep broke into the basement of a bank, and – yes – he had been drinking. Surveillance video shows the man breaking a basement window about 3 a.m. on a Saturday and leaving before 8 a.m.  Police tracked down the 21-year-old and arrested him at his home for investigation of second-degree burglary and malicious mischief.  Capt. Dan Hansberry said the man was intoxicated and doesn’t know why he went to the bank to snooze.  ***MARLAR: With our current economy, he was probably broke and looking for more stuffing for his mattress.

Lisa Daily is the author of “Stop Getting Dumped”… a book on how women can find a husband. She says women can meet and marry the right man if they follow its step-by-step guide. In fact, she guarantees it… or she’ll refund your money if you don’t find a husband within three years. ***MARLAR; Here’s the odd thing: in the book she says women should never ask a man out on a date – yet she guarantees that you’ll be married within three years. How are you supposed to meet and marry Mr. Right if you’re not allowed to approach him to begin with? Is this one of those super-secret womanly powers that we men will just never understand? And if it is, why do you need a book?

With an estimated 60 (m) million pet owners in the U-S, it’s probably no surprise that pet oxygen masks are becoming standard equipment for firefighters.  The cone-shaped plastic masks come in three sizes and fit snugly on snouts. They’re used to resuscitate animals suffering from smoke inhalation. They can be used on cats, dogs, ferrets, rabbits, guinea pigs and even birds.  ***MARLAR: This has to be great news for rescue workers.  Can you imagine trying to give CPR to a Shiatsu?

Returning home after an absence can mean unpleasant surprises – a leaky roof, a pet’s mess, even a break-in. But a Russian woman got a nastier surprise when she returned from her country house: her home was gone, torn down mistakenly by construction workers clearing a site.  ***MARLAR: Boy, those Russians take Spring Cleaning seriously!

A Montana festival is to feature what organizers term “a unique event in tribute to the culture of the American West” – a lying contest. Contestants at the National Folk Festival contest in Butte next month will compete for a trophy. Each contestant will be allowed a set amount of time and the number of contestants will be limited.  ***MARLAR: Rod Blagojevich has been banned from competing for life.

Archaeologists in Jordan have discovered what could be the oldest Christian church in the world: an underground cave that may have been used by the first disciples of Jesus Christ.  ***MARLAR: Their first indication that it was a church is when they found a collection plate.

A study in New Zealand found that older people could live longer, healthier lives if they just took a walk and drank a glass of chocolate milk every day.  ***MARLAR: Dang, I have to walk too?

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