An Ohio man has created a frosty fairy-tale setting for a memorable marriage proposal, building a snow castle for his girlfriend. Ryan Knotek says he wanted to pop the question to Christi Lombardo in a way that would give her a unique story to tell. Using blocks of snow, he constructed a one-room, one-story palace topped with roof spires in the Cleveland suburb of Parma, where they live. On the inside, Knotek set up candles, rose petals, wine – and a portable heater to keep the chill away. The atmosphere apparently warmed Lombardo’s heart when she arrived on Sunday: She said yes. ***MARLAR: An icy proposal in a giant igloo is also a good way to get used to the icy cold feet this guy will feel at the end of his bed for the rest of his life.
A Florida woman said her love handles saved her life when she was shot entering an Atlantic City bar. Samantha Lynn Frazier said she heard two pops when she walked into Herman’s Place early Saturday. The 35-year-old then felt pain and saw blood on her hand after she grabbed her left side. Atlantic City police said Frazier was an innocent bystander. Detective Lt. Charles Love said the gunman was aiming for a man who escaped with a bullet hole in his down jacket. The suspect remains at large. Frazier told The Press of Atlantic City she had been “hollering” how she wanted to lose weight. She now said “I want to be as big as I can if it’s going to stop a bullet.” ***MARLAR: Fatter than a speeding bullet… able to topple tall buildings with a single bounce… it’s Big Bird, it’s a Jumbo Jet, no… it’s FAT WOMAN!
Just making it onto the field and off again is a victory. At least to the guys who play 80-and-over slow-pitch softball. Barney Fineblum, assistant coach for the Hotel Tremont squad from Baltimore, says the players know the risks. But he jokes that dying playing ball is the best way to go. His team competed in the Senior Softball World Series in Minnesota and routed the So Cal Jets from Southern California. But in the 80-plus age bracket, no one cares much about the score. ***MARLAR: In Senior Softball the 7th Inning Stretch is an opportunity for a nap, and the umpire keeps yelling at players to get off is lawn.
In Neillsville, Wisconsin, a masked man entered a pharmacy and tried to rob it by forming his gloved hand into the shape of a gun. He didn’t bother hiding it in his pocket though – he just pointed his finger like a gun. The pharmacy owner wrestled with him and pulled off his mask. The man ran away, but police quickly arrested him. ***MARLAR: If this guy thought it’d be good enough to just pretend he had a gun, maybe we can save the taxpayers some money and just stick this guy in the corner with masking tape on the floor to mark his prison cell boundaries.
What did your dad do when you went home and told him that you got a speeding ticket? Make you pay it? Ground you? Hang your car up on a tree? When 16 year old Stephen Cost of Alabaster, Alabama received his third ticket in a month, his dad hoisted the boy’s pickup truck in the air! Alan Cost used a backhoe to lift the truck’s back end several feet into the air and chained it to a tree to keep it there. He also put a sign in the window that read, “May be for sale!” ***MARLAR: I don’t know if that’s what it literally means to “suspend driving privileges.”
Discouraging news for people hoping that antioxidant vitamins might prolong their lives. An analysis of dozens of studies finds people downing antioxidant vitamins — including A E, and C — don’t live longer. In fact, the higher-quality studies pointed to a greater risk of death for those taking vitamins, although the actual cause of death in most studies was unknown. ***MARLAR: My guess is that it’s from people choking to death trying to take giant vitamin horse pills.
Mosquitoes can track people up to 110 yards away by the substances in their breath. ***MARLAR: So to avoid mosquito bites, don’t exhale.
The latest craze in England is Freegans — people who seek to live entirely from the waste of others by foraging for food in dumpsters. Freegan is a combination of the words free and vegan. ***MARLAR: Freegans… vegans so concerned about animals that they’ve decided to eat, drink, and smell like them.