When you take the oath of office in Kentucky, you have to swear that you haven’t taken part in a duel with deadly weapons. The promise usually elicits laughter, and state Rep. Darryl Owens has proposed amending the Kentucky Constitution to do away with the archaic language. ***MARLAR: If he succeeds, does that mean you can be a state representative and still duel with deadly weapons? What a great way to stop filibusters!
Authorities said an upstate New York man angry with his wife used a backhoe to demolish more than two dozen demolition derby cars. The Wayne County Sheriff’s Office said 29-year-old Michael Fagner caused about $40,000 damage to 30 cars parked at a business in Savannah, 30 miles west of Syracuse. Police said he used the backhoe’s bucket to crush most of the derby-ready cars and flip over one vehicle Friday afternoon. ***MARLAR: Oooh, I’m so mad at you that I’m going to go destroy something that doesn’t belong to you! Yeah, that’ll show you!
Watch your language! At least in L.A. this week. Tomorrow, the Los Angeles County Board of Supervisors plans to issue a proclamation declaring this No Cussing Week. The idea comes from anti-cussing kid McKay Hatch. He started the No Cussing Club at South Pasadena High School. Next year, McKay hopes to get the whole state of California to have a cursing-free week. Then, he says, who knows — maybe a worldwide no cussing week. McKay adds a week without bad language shows you can live without those four-letter words. ***MARLAR: My dad wouldn’t allow cursing in our home – so I failed English because I wrote everything in block lettering. (I know now there’s a difference between cursing and cursive, but whenever I sign a check I still feel kinda naughty.)
Researchers at the Harvard School of Public Health in Boston say the caffeine consumed through drinking coffee can help you weigh less. Also, a study by the University of Scranton found that coffee provides more healthy antioxidants than any other food or beverage in the American diet. ***MARLAR: Maybe now we can get Medicare to cover the cost of our daily Starbucks!
In China, Big Brother is watching. Or at least popping up on Web browsers every half hour, in cartoon form. Beijing police plan to use animated Internet officers who will walk, bike or drive across the screen warning browsers to stay away from illegal Internet content. China already picks through the Internet to block content it finds politically or morally threatening. But, despite the Communist Party’s efforts, profanity, illegal gambling and pirated music, books and film all seep onto Chinese Internet servers. ***MARLAR: I’m all for people avoiding those kinds of websites, but how is a cartoon policeman going to stop you? If cartoon characters could really change the world, wouldn’t McGruff the Crime Dog do something about Osama bin Laden?
A Chinese factory manager was arrested for selling restaurants lard made from swill, pesticides, sewage and recycled industrial oil. ***MARLAR: So if you go to China, don’t order the “Pork Surprise.”
If you want to burn calories you need to do more than get all hot and sweaty in a gym. You also need to spend time during the day standing up; it’s the secret ingredient to losing weight. ***MARLAR: Well there go my weight-loss plans.
Researchers say the level of nicotine in cigarettes has risen 10 percent over the past six years, making it much more difficult to kick the habit. ***MARLAR: But that’s okay, because the cigarette companies have also promised to try 10% harder to tell people cigarettes are bad.