Darren’s Daily Dose of Weird News – March 11, 2010

A Florida man allegedly called 911 more than 200 times in a recent 3-day span. Highlands County sheriff’s deputies said Timothy Todd Lawrence spoke only to female dispatchers, and told them he did not need emergency assistance.  ***MARLAR: Apparently it was cheaper than dialing those late-night 900 numbers.

Topeka’s mayor says the city shall temporarily be referred to as “Google, Kansas – the capital city of fiber optics,” in an effort to persuade the Internet giant to test an ultra-fast connection in the state capital.  Mayor Bill Bunten issued the proclamation Monday after no city council members objected to the month-long change.  ***MARLAR: Really though, if you were a huge company, would you do business in a town that spells Google, “T-O-P-E-K-A”?

In 2007 the Wisconsin State Assembly approved a bill to extend last call by an hour, and it will apply to just one night each year.  On daylight saving weekend, on Sunday morning, old state law mandated that bars had to close at 2:30 A-M. But that night, the clock jumps ahead from 2 to 3 A-M.  So, lawmakers decided to allow the bars in the Badger State to close at 3:30 instead of 2:30.  ***MARLAR: If you’re so addicted to alcohol that you’re drinking past 2 o’clock on a Sunday morning, do you even have the ability at that point to tell what time it is?

The creator of G.I. Joe said more of his toy creations, action figures based on Bible figures, are on their way to mainstream stores. Don Levine, 80, who is credited with inventing the action figure with the first G.I. Joe 45 years ago, said his line of Bible-based Almighty Heroes – including likenesses of King David, Queen Esther, Samson and Jonah – have been hot sellers at Christian bookstores and other specialty stores. ***MARLAR: And the figure of Peter walk on water… temporarily.

Two Waukesha, Wisconsin, men were issued citations after they got into a fight at their daughters’ soccer game. Jeffrey Perlewitz and Ralph Newcomb Jr were each fined $199 after they got into a fist fight at the June 4th soccer game.  ***MARLAR: Which is completely against the rules – you’re not allowed to use your hands in soccer.

Britain’s clergy are arming themselves after a report that a number have been assaulted. The Church Of England has decided to give their clergy Tai Kwan Do lessons. ***MARLAR: When Jesus said, “turn the other cheek” I’m pretty sure he did not mean “hit both sides of your enemy’s face.”

Surprising new research shows that people who walk their dogs don’t get as much exercise as people who don’t have dogs. ***MARLAR: And I don’t have a dog right now, meaning that if I DID get one I’d actually get less than zero exercise.

Earthlink is laying off half of its workforce and closing four offices in a belt-tightening move. ***MARLAR: Rather than “downsizing” they’re saying it’s “removing unnecessary files.”

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