Darren’s Daily Dose of Weird News – March 13, 2010

A female member of Germany’s ultra-conservative Christian Social Union wants to pass a law that would automatically divorce married couples every seven years, forcing them to remarry or split permanently.  “I propose that marriages lapse after seven years,” says Gabriele Pauli. “This would mean that one will only commit for a fixed period and will actively have to renew your vows if you want to continue.”  ***MARLAR: That’s considered “ultra-Conservative?”  What’s ultra-Liberal, then?  Tossing your spouse out the car window?

Authorities said an overnight hotel guest who claimed a divine calling has been jailed after shooting up his room and placing an alarm clock in the microwave. Police say the 53-year-old Dearborn Heights man surrendered about 8:30 a.m. Sunday at the Albion Inn, about 85 miles west of Detroit. He was being held in the Calhoun County Jail pending arraignment and mental evaluation.  The Jackson Citizen Patriot said the man shot the bed, window, walls and ceiling of his room, where he left a note that read: “God delivered me from evil and placed me in Albion, Michigan.”  ***MARLAR: How can deliverance of evil be only 96 miles from Detroit?

A record number of companies in North America are permitting employees to work from home, according to a survey from World-At-Work. Forty-two percent of U.S. companies surveyed say they have offered their employees work-from-home programs this year, up from 30% last year. In Canada, the jump was even bigger – from 25% last year to 40% this year.  ***MARLAR: I’m trying to get the station to let me work from home.  The hard part is convincing them to move the giant broadcast tower into my backyard each day.

A Belleville, Michigan, woman accidentally sold a DVD at a garage sale that contained at least $1,200. Tracy Holmes sold her husband’s “Sin City” DVD for $10. Her husband asked her about the DVD about a week later and told her that he had hidden at least $1,200 in the DVD case for a family Christmas trip to Disney World. Holmes is holding out hope that the buyer, described as a 6-foot-tall man in his 50s or 60s, will discover the money and return it.  ***MARLAR: I’d think vacation money hidden in a “Sin City” DVD would be for Las Vegas.

A string of bizarre shoe thefts in Waveland, Indiana, are being blamed on a beagle who has apparently been taking the shoes to a local fire station. Angie Jeffers said one of her son’s shoes disappeared after being left outside overnight. It soon turned up near the firehouse. Locals said shoes began arriving at the fire department in June. Since then, only Jeffers and one other person have reported seeing the thief – a small beagle. Acting town marshal Rob Kiger said he also spotted the beagle, which is believed to be a stray, carrying a tennis shoe in his mouth and a pair of women’s underwear on his head. Officials said the dog, who takes only one shoe at a time and never leaves any bite marks, has proven difficult to capture.  ***MARLAR: As a dog, shouldn’t he be stealing Hush Puppies?

The FDA reports that meat from cloned animals is perfectly safe to eat.  ***MARLAR: Plus, it’s great for making double cheeseburgers.

A woman in Thousand Oaks, California, went on vacation and came back to find a 50-foot tree in her yard missing.  ***MARLAR: You gotta be careful where you spray that RoundUp!

The First Baptist Church in Watertown, New York, fired a Sunday school teacher who’d been there for 54 years because she’s a woman.  Her boss says he’s just obeying the Bible.  ***MARLAR: Actually, they made the decision to fire her over 50 years ago… but it’s a Baptist Church, and change is slow.

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