Darren’s Daily Dose of Weird News – March 17, 2010

Maple syrup producers are under fire for tapping maple trees in Central Massachusetts cemeteries. The Worcester Telegram reports Monday that at least two cemeteries in Lancaster and one in Petersham have buckets on trees that stand alongside rows of tombstones.  ***MARLAR: Whose the sap that made that decision?

Iowa City police arrested a woman who allegedly attacked her sister with the lid of a toilet tank. Nitasha Johnson, of Iowa City, was arrested early Sunday and was charged with domestic abuse assault causing injury and interference with official acts. According to police, Johnson removed the lid and hit her sister during a fight.  ***MARLAR: They were fighting over some guy named John.

Archaeologists in Cork, Ireland have uncovered startling new evidence that a race of leprechauns really existed on the Emerald Isle. A team of researchers excavating a 13-thousand year old burial mound report finding skeletal remains of 11 adult males, all under three feet tall. And in accordance with Celtic myths, beside each one was a pot of gold.  ***MARLAR: And a box of Lucky Charms.

It’s Patsy’s versus Patsy’s. And the winner is Patsy’s — both of them. A federal judge in New York has ended a long-running legal food fight between Patsy’s Pizzeria on Long Island and Patsy’s Italian Restaurant in Manhattan. Each of the restaurants claimed the legal right to the Patsy’s name. Now, a judge says each must use its complete trade name and not just Patsy’s. Pizzeria owner Anthony Bans tells Newsday the judge is saying to them both, “Just go make money and stop giving each other a hard time.”  ***MARLAR: Sounds like the judge made patsy’s of them both.

It’s computer dating — for real animals.  Now, zoo keepers can go online to find a mate for their beasts. The database is called ZIMS, for Zoological Information Management Systems. The zoo in Columbia, South Carolina, is one of those testing the software. And like match-making sites for humans, ZIMS has information on personality traits of their suitors. ***MARLAR: “Hi, I’m Trixie – and I’m a total fox.  I live in the Brookfield Zoo and I am SO tired of dating reptiles…”

A fisherman in England caught a world-record minnow, a four-and-a-half inch fish weighing in at 5-1/4 ounces.  ***MARLAR: He’s having it mounted, but it’s too small for his fireplace – so he’s hanging it over his cigarette lighter.

According to a new survey from Leichtman Research Group, more than 20% of homes now have a DVR, up from just one in 13 homes two years ago. The survey also revealed that 53% of DVR owners own an HDTV set.  ***MARLAR: And I can’t get my VCR to stop blinking 12 o’clock.

New Scientist magazine reported on a number of new Internet-related addictions, including Cyberchondria, which means the fear that you have every disease you read about on the Internet.  ***MARLAR: You know you are addicted to the Internet when:
o    Writing a letter, you find yourself placing “com” after every period.
o    Your bookmark takes 15 minutes to scroll from top to bottom.
o    Your eyeglasses have a web site burned into them.
o    You find yourself brainstorming for new subjects to search.
o    You refuse to go to a vacation spot with no electricity, phone lines, or wi-fi.
o    You spend half of the plane trip with your computer on your lap and your child in the overhead compartment.
o    You kiss your girlfriend’s home page.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *