Darren’s Daily Dose of Weird News: March 23, 2011

Want to hear the Daily Dose of Weird News ANYWHERE? It’s just part of “The Darren Marlar Radio Show” – and you can listen via your iPhone, Blackberry, iPad, or Droid!  Just search for “Darren Marlar” in the TUNEIN radio app (free in your app store now)!  Or listen online anytime at http://marlar.podomatic.com!

NEW NEWS…

An estimated one million fish turned up dead Tuesday in a Southern California marina, creating a floating feast for pelicans, gulls and other sea life and a stinky mess for harbor authorities. The sardines apparently depleted the water of oxygen and suffocated after getting lost in the marina, officials said. “All indications are it’s a naturally occurring event,” said Andrew Hughan, a California Fish and Game spokesman at the scene.  ***MARLAR: They’ve said there’s no need to panic just yet. However, if you see the moon turn to blood – panic.

Scientists have just discovered that when a shrimp is first born, it is male, and as it gets older it gradually matures into a female.  ***MARLAR: It took them until now to realize that the males are the immature ones?

The cigarette packs piled into prominent displays behind store counters and supermarket checkouts in England can’t be missed. They occupy prime retail real estate, helping to keep addicts hooked and quitters tempted.  But the government announced a ban on them Wednesday, a move that will keep cigarettes hidden away and make it just a tad more difficult for smokers to find their fix.  “We cannot ignore the targeting of young people through these displays,” England’s chief medical officer Sally Davies said in a statement, adding the can’t-miss-it advertising encourages teens “to start smoking at an age when they are less able to make an informed choice.”  ***MARLAR: Right, because hiding cigarette ads from kids has been SO successful in America.

When a homeowner returned to find a strange man inside his house, he understandably called 911 — and so did the intruder.  Lt. Kelli Sheffer said the intruder told police he had broken into a home shortly before the owner arrived. He decided to call for help because he was worried the homeowner might have a gun.  The intruder had been taking a shower in the house in Washington Park, Portland, when the owner returned.  Accompanied by his two German shepherds, the homeowner asked what the man was doing and the intruder locked the bathroom door.  That was when the man called the police. At the same time, the homeowner also dialed 911 with his account of what was happening.  Portland police arrived with their own dog and arrested the intruder “without further incident.”  Lieutenant Sheffer said 24-year-old Timothy James Chapek of Portland was booked into jail for investigation of first-degree criminal trespass.  ***MARLAR: So despite the shower, Timmy was unable to make a clean getaway.

A record number of companies in North America are permitting employees to work from home, according to a survey from World-At-Work. Forty-two percent of U.S. companies surveyed say they have offered their employees work-from-home programs this year, up from 30% last year. In Canada, the jump was even bigger – from 25% last year to 40% this year.  ***MARLAR: I’m trying to get the radio station to let me work from home.  The hard part is convincing them to move the giant broadcast tower into my backyard each day.

RETRO NEWS: FORMERLY NEW, NOW NOT NEW, BUT STILL ENTERTAINING…

The Food and Drug Administration has approved a sunscreen that is the best in the world at blocking out dangerous cancer-causing ultraviolet light.  ***MARLAR: The downside – it’s not easy picking up chicks at the beach when you’re skin is green.

Police in Italy arrested a man for stealing some tortellini from a store. Alerted by neighbors of suspicious noises coming from a Bologna tortellini shop, police turned up to catch a man helping himself to some free pasta while the store was closed for lunch. And get this — the suspect’s name is Stefano Spaghetti! As he was being put into the police car Spaghetti reportedly mumbled, “And to think I don’t even like tortellini.”  ***MARLAR: So to review… Spaghetti was caught stealing tortellini in Bologna.

Carl Miner of Blytheville, Arkansas, got a painful lesson in the importance of voting. He was on the ballot, running unopposed for school board, and he still lost when he didn’t get a single vote. He’s the first county candidate ever to get zero votes. Miner said he tried to vote for himself, but the polls were closed when he got there.  ***MARLAR: Apparently he was too busy planning his victory party that no one showed up for.

Reality TV became a little too “real” in Spain recently. The television program Xarabank staged a fake mugging in order to interview witnesses on what they had seen. The show’s producers said the purpose was to show how people see different things at the same event. What most people thought they saw was a real mugging. After an actor snatched the bag, he was chased and beaten up by onlookers, who thought they were coming to the rescue of a woman victimized by a mugger. Bystanders who thought he was inventing a story to assist the “thief” also punched a member of the production team who tried to explain that they were actors.  ***MARLAR: Now that’s a great idea for a TV show… “When Reality TV Goes Bad”!

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