Darren’s Daily Dose of Weird News – March 24, 2010

Scientists at Monell Chemical Senses Center in Philadelphia have discovered why your cat would rather eat a mouse than a chocolate bar.  There is a major defect in cat genes which prevents them while maturing from developing the taste receptors that detect sweets. Researchers can’t say what meat actually tastes like to cats.  ***MARLAR: My guess is lasagna.  Otherwise, why would Garfield love it so much?

A vacuum cleaner saved the life of a 70-year-old man when it was used to suck out a rice cake on which he was choking. The sticky rice cake (known as mochi) is made of glutinous rice, is traditionally served during New Year’s in Japan. The rice cake was stuck in his throat, so his daughter grabbed a vacuum cleaner and sucked it right out.  ***MARLAR: Who needs the Heimlich maneuver when you got the “Hoover” maneuver!

A French psychic’s apartment in Edinburgh, Scotland, was gutted by fire after he left his crystal ball on the window sill and it focused the sunlight like a magnifying glass.  ***MARLAR: Gee, you’d think he would’ve seen that one coming.

An elderly Brooklyn couple say they’re tired of hearing the phrase, “Police! Open up!” World War II veteran Walter Martin and his 82-year-old wife, Rose, said police have come looking for criminals at their house about 50 times in the past eight years.  ***MARLAR: So beginning immediately, police visiting the home will yell, “Law enforcement!  Please invite us in!”

The attorney representing a jogger accused of yelling at police and citizens during his runs through Portsmouth, New Hampshire said an order barring his client from the city while he is free on bail is unconstitutional. ***MARLAR: Yeah… so take that, dagnabbit.

In Palmetto, Florida, Mark Giorgio figured a 50-foot plunge was worth $20. Giorgio was counting his money and walking across a bridge over the Manatee River when a $20 bill blew out of his hand and flew over the rail. He followed. And plummeted 50 feet into the river. Then he swam about 100 yards to fish the bill from the water. Why’d he do it? Because, Giorgio said, “Twenty bucks is a lot of money when you’re broke.”  ***MARLAR: But in this case, it was the twenty bucks that almost broke him.

Police have launched a hunt for a monkey spotted on the border of Belgium and Holland. The animal is also reported to have tried stealing food from rubbish bins in a car park. It is described as being about two and half feet tall, with dark brown fur and a long tail.  ***MARLAR: Hey, wait a minute… has anyone seen the boss today?

John Magrich 4, defeated several dozen grown-ups to win the 1965 Los Angles County Hog Calling contest. The grown-ups strained with calls like: “Pig, Pig, Pig WHOOOoooeee, WHOOOoooeee, WHOOOoooeee, Pig, Pig, Pig” or “OOOOooooeeee, OOOOooooeeee ERGH, ERGH RRrkie, RRoooeee, Pig Pig Pig, Piggy.”  John cried. “Here piggy piggy.” and 6 pigs walked right up to him.  ***MARLAR: And according to his mother, he was also an expert on pig sties if you were to look at his room.

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