Darren’s Daily Dose of Weird News: March 24, 2011

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NEW NEWS…

A human magnet has become a massive attraction in his Serbian homeland since he discovered he’s irresistible to metal.  Miroslav Mandic, 67, has baffled medics by being able to stick coins, cutlery and any metal object all over his body.  “Over the years it has got stronger and it can be quite a nuisance now except of course people never seem to get tired of me walking around with keys or phones or even an iron stuck to me.  “But my wife curses me because every time I walk past the radio or TV it changes channel.”  ***DUANE MATZ: This guy is the Pied Piper of Goths.

Paramedics in the Netherlands are fighting traffic and high gas prices by using bikes. Three bikes have been equipped with baggage racks full of first aid supplies including medicines, defibrillators, and even oxygen tanks.  The only thing the bikes don’t carry is a stretcher.  ***MARLAR: So if a trip to the hospital is required you have to sit in the bicycle basket.

Two health groups are hoping a hungry caterpillar will take a bite out of childhood obesity.  “The Very Hungry Caterpillar” by Eric Carle tells about a caterpillar who munches his way through a variety of foods.  The American Academy of Pediatrics and a group affiliated with former President Bill Clinton hope to use the book to help kids make nutritious food choices and lead healthier lives.  ***MARLAR: Unless this caterpillar plans on eating half the lasagna on my plate, I doubt he’s going to help me much.

Police in Virginia have arrested a man accused of trying to rob a Lynchburg pharmacy twice in the same day – once while wielding a sword.  Lynchburg police arrested 27-year-old Michael Edward Towler and charged him with robbery, brandishing a weapon and attempted robbery. Pharmacist Michael Robertson says a man tried to rob the pharmacy Wednesday morning, but Robertson told him they had set off an alarm and police were on their way, so the man fled. Robertson says the man returned later that day in a lime-green raincoat, drew a samurai-style, 3-foot-long sword and got away with an undisclosed amount of narcotics. Towler was arrested later at his home.  ***MARLAR: It’s too bad the pharmacist wasn’t more knowledgeable about literature – otherwise he could’ve just picked up a ball point pen and defeated Towler, because the pen is mightier than the sword.

RETRO NEWS: FORMERLY NEW, NOW NOT NEW, BUT STILL ENTERTAINING…

The hottest new health fad in India is people simply laughing at each other. People claim that the laughing helps them feel less stressed and relieves everyday ailments. In fact, membership of early morning laughter clubs in the Indian city of Pune is booming with two new clubs forming in a matter of two weeks. Most clubs run sessions from six in the morning with breathing exercises, calisthenics and then 15 minutes of laughter. Their members are convinced the laughter is making an impact on their physical and mental well-being.  ***MARLAR: So if you feel better from listening to my show, now you know why.  If you don’t feel better after listening to my show… now you know why.  (Creepy video illustrating this story.)

A French psychic’s apartment in Edinburgh, Scotland, was gutted by fire after he left his crystal ball on the window sill and it focused the sunlight like a magnifying glass.  ***MARLAR: Gee, you’d think a psychic would’ve seen that one coming.

A German court ruled against a bald man who said the government health care system should provide free toupees.  The court ruled, however, that baldness is not a disfiguring condition.  ***MARLAR: Although wearing a toupee given to you by the government would be.

The Royal Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals confiscated 550 gerbils that had been kept in a small house in southern England and is asking the British public for help in caring for the animals. ***MARLAR: I hope they aren’t keeping all of the gerbils in the same cage – otherwise they’re going to have well OVER 550 gerbils.  It might be best to just convince British diners to start eating Fish and Chipmunks.

Laura Martin and Stephanie Goins were suspended from Concord, California, High School for possession of a deadly weapon: a bottle of Mad Dog 357 hot sauce. But local outrage and media coverage prompted officials to rescind the suspensions. The girls said they brought the hot sauce because their friends said they could handle it, but one boy got it in his eye and another drank it and began shaking and having breathing problems. Paramedics said there was nothing wrong with him.   ***MARLAR: How can they say there’s nothing wrong with a kid who can’t pour hot sauce out of a bottle without getting it in his eye?

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