Darren’s Daily Dose of Weird News – March 25, 2010

An Adria Airways airliner was forced to make an emergency landing after a passenger’s mobile phone caused its electronics system to malfunction and indicate there was a fire on board. ***MARLAR: Oh… so THAT’S why we’re not supposed to use our cell phones in the airplanes!

A South African man bit his way to freedom after he was attacked by a python that tried to squeeze him to death.  ***MARLAR: Afterwards, he commented that when your entire life is flashing before your eyes, raw python tastes a lot like chicken.

A Neiman Marcus security guard apprehended a young woman who shoplifted a pair of jeans and started yelling, “It’s too late, I already left the store!”  ***MARLAR: She apparently thought it was a crime to leave the merchandise IN the store.

A study in Britain says that money CAN buy happiness, but only if you have more than your friends and neighbors.  ***MARLAR: Because, let’s face it, they don’t know where to shop.

After attempting to negotiate a compromise, Google has given up and has pulled the filters off its searches in China, meaning that China will probably block it now.  ***MARLAR: We’d say this is a stand against censorship, but apparently they were okay with censorship up until the point they found China hacking into their servers to find dissidents.

Newspapers in Germany report that a 45-year-old woman has been driven out of the bedroom by her husband’s jealous pet monkey. The monkey pulls her hair in bed and when they lock him out, he screeches until it wakes up the whole neighborhood. Instead of getting rid of the monkey, she’s sleeping in the spare bedroom.  ***MARLAR: It’s not much better in there because now the phone is ringing day and night with calls from married guys who want to know where to get a monkey.

As if cell phone users weren’t loud and obnoxious enough, a British company has introduced a cell phone that screams. Actually, the phone service is designed to deter mobile phone theft by emitting an ear-piercing scream. The screaming won’t stop unless the battery is removed. Even then, the handset will not work. The service also stores your contacts, ringtones, pictures, texts and other data that can be retrieved when a new phone is purchased. The service costs about $18 a month.  ***MARLAR: Which also makes you want to scream.

A 14-year-old Chinese boy shocked his mother by marrying 12 times on the Internet! An avid internet surfer, the boy finally told his mom about his online wives, all aged between 13 and 25. He said his longest marriage lasted for two months, while the shortest, merely hours. The boy admitted that he would propose a marriage as long as he thought the girl was beautiful after having an online video chat.  ***MARLAR: And worse yet, with every divorce he had to give up half of his weekly allowance.

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