Darren’s Daily Dose of Weird News: March 25, 2011

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NEW NEWS…

Wholesale prices jumped last month by the most in nearly two years due to higher energy costs and the steepest rise in food prices in 36 years. Food prices soared 3.9 percent last month, the biggest gain since November 1974. Most of that increase was due to a sharp rise in vegetable costs, which increased nearly 50 percent. That was the most in almost a year. Meat and dairy products also rose.  ***MARLAR: It’s getting to the point that we’ll all have to switch to non-food sustenance – like surviving on used tea bags and Ding Dongs.

An Adria Airways airliner was forced to make an emergency landing after a passenger’s mobile phone caused its electronics system to malfunction and indicate there was a fire on board. ***MARLAR: Oh… so THAT’S why we’re not supposed to use our cell phones in the airplanes!

A 13-year-old Ohio boy has launched his own line of scented candles meant for men, with fragrances that include bacon, New York-style pizza, sawdust and the smell of a fresh leather baseball mitt.  Hart Main of Marysville in central Ohio says he got the idea for his “Mancans” when he was making fun of his sister for selling candles with girly scents for a school fundraiser. So far he has sold 500 candles for $5 each, both online and at local stores. He says he’s made enough profit to buy himself a nice bicycle.  ***MARLAR: I’d think a boy with the first name of “Hart” would actually enjoy frilly-scented candles.

Americans are feeling the pain at the pump. In Hawaii, the sting just got a little worse.  The state reached the dubious milestone of being the first in recent years where the average price for a gallon of regular unleaded gasoline has reached $4, the highest in the nation, beating California’s average of $3.96. Alaska has the third highest average price at $3.90.  ***MARLAR: On the plus side, in Hawaii, no matter where you’re going, it’s not all that far to drive.

Women who enjoy a daily dose of coffee may like this perk: It might lower their risk of stroke.   Women in a Swedish study who drank at least a cup of coffee everyday had a 22 to 25 percent lower risk of stroke, compared to those who drank less coffee or none at all.  “Coffee drinkers should rejoice,” said Dr. Sharonne N. Hayes, a cardiologist at Mayo Clinic in Rochester, Minn. “Coffee is often made out to be potentially bad for your heart. There really hasn’t been any study that convincingly said coffee is bad.”  ***MARLAR: A cup of coffee a day for men is also considered beneficial – which is why I start each day with a 52oz mug of the stuff.

RETRO NEWS: FORMERLY NEW, NOW NOT NEW, BUT STILL ENTERTAINING…

UPS driver Jeff Hornagold has made one last run in the big, brown truck — to the great beyond. The suburban Chicago man died of lung cancer. So, longtime co-worker Michael McGowan delivered his buddy’s body to the funeral in their UPS truck. Judy Hornagold says her late husband was “just the happiest UPS man alive.” She says the final delivery is the perfect tribute.  ***MARLAR: They refuse to bury him though until someone signs for him.

Burger King has opened a restaurant in Miami Beach that serves beer along with burgers and fries, the chain’s first U.S. location with alcohol.  At the Whopper Bar South Beach, guests can pair a Whopper sandwich with Anheuser-Busch and MillerCoors brews. With fries, the combo runs $7.99.  The restaurant offers outdoor dining, a walk-up window and delivery service.  ***MARLAR: You can still have it your way… you just can’t have it your way in the drive-thru.

Two New York men were locked up and left in a jail cell for nearly a week after police officers mistook their candy for a bag of crack.  The “drugs” were finally tested five days later and determined to be popular Coco (coconut) Candy. The charges were dropped.  ***MARLAR: And now after a week behind bars, the two men have gone through detox and are no longer addicted to coconut candy.

Irate citizens in Pembrey, England have been calling the police trying to stop a thief who has been holding up passers-by with a gun. The gun-toting criminal waves his gun and tells people they can’t pass until they give him money or candy. That’s right, candy. You see the gun-toting thief is a three-year-old with a plastic gun. Robbie Rees really has been terrorizing his neighborhood for pennies and candy and the neighbors really aren’t happy! The child started patrolling the street around his home, stopping cars and pedestrians and only letting them pass when they handed over a sweet. His hold-ups are so successful that he comes home with his pockets bulging with candy.  ***MARLAR: We need to stick this kid in front of Wal-Mart with a bucket and a bell.

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