Darren’s Daily Dose of Weird News: March 28, 2011

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NEW NEWS…

A hapless bank robber who abided by a Dallas teller’s request to provide two forms of identification before she could give him money is going to prison.  A judge sentenced 49-year-old Nathan Wayne Pugh of Sachse (SAK’-see) to more than eight years.  Pugh tried to hold up a Dallas Wells Fargo Bank in July. The teller stalled Pugh by telling him she needed to see two forms of ID. Pugh showed her his Wells Fargo debit card and a state ID card. He was captured as he tried to flee with $800.  Pugh pleaded guilty in October to a bank robbery charge. He was already on parole for two aggravated robberies.  ***MARLAR: How can you NOT be aggravated when you’re that stupid?

Police say an Australian teenager hijacked a girl’s Facebook page and posted an open invitation to her 16th birthday party that drew more than 200,000 positive replies.  The girl’s shocked parents had the page removed from the social networking site. Police have not identified the family or the party date in the hoax invitation as ways of discouraging would-be guests.  Police Inspector Terry Dalton says, “The only thing that anybody who turns up on that street will be met by will be some police vehicles patrolling the area.”  A police statement released to The Associated Press on Wednesday said a 17-year-old boy was charged with using a telecommunications carrier to harass or offend someone.  ***MARLAR: What surprises me most about this story is that this girl had 200,000 people saying yes to attending her party.  I post an event on Facebook and I’m lucky if three people even know who I am.

The Freedom From Religion Foundation is threatening a lawsuit over praying before meals at a Cheboygan, Michigan, senior citizen center. Mat Staver, chairman of Liberty Counsel says it is absurd that the Foundation is issuing the threat because of prayers before meals.  “In fact,” he says, “in this particular case, praying over a meal — whether it’s led by an individual senior or somebody before they begin their meal — in no way violates the federal law. [It] does not imply the fact that they have some federal subsidy as a senior center, and certainly does not violate the First Amendment.”  Staver goes on to say the idea that prayer is banned because some federal tax dollars are used is outrageous.  ***MARLAR: Almost as outrageous as the poor quality of the meal provided by federal tax dollars.

Hospital authorities in central England say they have treated a 3-year-old child for alcoholism. The case highlights a new low in Britain’s struggle to control a binge-drinking culture which has seen alcohol-related deaths double in the past two decades.  ***MARLAR: In trying to defend herself, the child’s mother said the child sleeps better than ever.

RETRO NEWS: FORMERLY NEW, NOW NOT NEW, BUT STILL ENTERTAINING…

It may surprise you that the word “nice” does not have a nice background!  In fact it comes from the Latin word nescius, which means ignorant. In addition to foolish and stupid, the word nice, in the English spoken in the Middle Ages, also meant wanton. By the 15th century it meant “coy.” A hundred years later it also meant “dainty.” And only in the 18th century does it finally mean agreeable.  ***MARLAR: So now you can think of someone as an idiot and simply tell them to have a nice day!

Paramedics in the Netherlands are fighting traffic and high gas prices by using bikes. Three bikes have been equipped with baggage racks full of first aid supplies including medicines, defibrillators, and even oxygen tanks.  The only thing the bikes don’t carry is a stretcher.  ***MARLAR: So if a trip to the hospital is required you have to sit in the basket.

An Alaska man who hit a Taco Bell manager in the face with a double-decker taco has been sentenced to one day in jail and one year probation.  Warren Strickland of Fairbanks must also pay a $100 fine after pleading guilty Tuesday to disorderly conduct.  ***MARLAR: It could’ve been worse.  Had he tossed a chalupa he’d have been charged with assault with a deadly weapon.

Boulder, Colorado authorities locked down a Lafayette charter school while they examined a duffel bag left at the campus parking lot that ended up containing a Kermit the Frog doll.  Boulder County’s bomb squad responded to the Peak to Peak Charter School after an employee there called at about 7:15 a.m. Wednesday to report the unattended bag.  Authorities used a robot with movable arms and a camera to investigate the bag and then an officer inspected it to make sure it was safe.  Authorities cleared the scene at about 10 a.m. Students and staff were locked down until then in a campus building.  ***MARLAR: The thought of it possibly being a bomb was reinforced by the fact that Fozzy Bear was nearby telling jokes.

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