Texas law bans a vehicle from being repossessed if a person is inside. So a Dallas, Texas woman threw her 1-year-old son through an open window into her SUV as a man was driving off to repossess the vehicle. ***MARLAR: I say let the woman keep her precious SUV… repossess the baby instead.
Police in Connecticut say they had ample warning of a bank robbery because the two suspects called the bank ahead of time and told an employee to get a bag of money ready. ***MARLAR: Oh, and we want it delivered to us in the drive-thru because we can’t be bothered in any way to actually make an effort to rob your financial institution.
Explorer John Blashford-Snell is hauling a piano through the Amazon jungle in order to fulfill a bizarre pledge he made to members of a native tribe. The promise was made when Colonel Blashford-Snell from the Scientific Exploration Society (SES) took community aid and medical supplies to the little-known Wai-Wai Indian tribe in Guyana. Just before he left, the tribe’s priest asked the Colonel if he could bring them a piano for the village church after coming across a picture of the strange instrument in a book. A man of his word, the 64-year-old Colonel said “yes”. And now he’s off on his mission, hauling the piano 350 miles through dense jungle populated by deadly snakes and alligator-infested swamps to reach the Wai-Wai mud huts. ***MARLAR: Oh, did I say a piano?! I meant, a… a… an accordion!
Researches now say it’s healthier to walk along a busy road and breathe in exhaust fumes than it is to sit inside your air conditioned car. Blame it on unfiltered air from exhaust fumes and chemicals from car seats, audio equipment and air fresheners. It’s bad news for those with a long commute as they say the bad interior air can cause cancer and respiratory diseases. They recommend opening your car’s windows, but only along country roads. ***MARLAR: I’ve been down country roads – and those smells can also make you sick.
Skylar the goldendoodle couldn’t wait to get her paws on some cold pizza perched atop her owner’s stove. With her owner gone, the 3-year-old golden retriever/poodle mix from Naperville, Illinois, found a way up near a stove top, touching off a blaze that almost took her life. Apparently, Skylar smelled the left over pizza and tried to get at it sometime after her master, Fred, left for work that morning. In doing so, the dog probably turned on a burner with a paw. The burner ignited the cardboard underneath the pizza, producing flames that spread quickly to a nearby, heavy-duty plastic cutting board, and then to the cabinets above the stove. Fortunately the blaze was confined to the kitchen. ***MARLAR: Some people just like a crisp crust.
It took $140,000 of your tax dollars to prove it, but scientists have confirmed that women really are more sensitive than men. Gals are quicker to cry when upset, more sympathetic to others who are in emotional pain and more likely to hug someone who is not a blood relative, the 6-year government funded study revealed. ***MARLAR: Men still cry though – like when we find out that $140,000 of our tax dollars go to a study to prove what we already know.
Men’s Health says 18% of all home cooked meals are prepared by men. ***MARLAR: Re-heated pizza does count as a home cooked meal, right?
A high school principal in Montana returned to work recently after serving a six-day suspension for giving a student a wedgie. ***MARLAR: He says it was not his fault, as his originally plan was to give the kid a swirly but the toilets were broken.