Police in northern Indiana said a man who was apparently sleeping inside a large trash bin narrowly missed being crushed by a garbage truck. Police Lt. Ed Windbigler said an Elkhart Truth newspaper carrier spotted the 42-year-old man on top of the garbage truck about 4 a.m. Thursday and yelling for it to stop. Windbigler said the truck’s driver had compacted its load just before dumping the bin holding the man or he likely would have been crushed. ***MARLAR: Man, now that’s a real shame when folks be throwing away a perfectly good white boy like that.
Police say a Lincoln, Nebraska man is missing a chunk of his right ear that was bitten off by a woman who didn’t like being called “fat.” ***MARLAR: Wow, that woman really WILL eat anything.
A Minnesota man is behind bars after allegedly stealing a car and repeatedly calling 911 to brag to police that they would not catch him. Police in Duluth say the 23-year-old man stole the car Friday night, filled up at a gas station and then drove off without paying. After police received a report of the gasoline theft, an officer spotted the stolen car and tried to pull it over. But the man sped off, hitting a guardrail and turning off his lights. Police soon found the car abandoned. It was then that the man allegedly began calling 911 from a cell phone, telling dispatchers he would not be caught because he was “smarter than the police.” Two hours later, a man called 911 to report a prowler at his home. Police arrived and found the suspect hiding in a shed. They arrested him after a short struggle. ***MARLAR: If he’s smarter than the police, Duluth, Minnesota has a big problem.
Basant Jain and his wife Anita are a perfect match — literally. The couple, from India, has dressed in matching colors everyday throughout the course of their marriage and pledge to dress identically until the day they die. The two have become celebrities in their town as well. Basant, who runs a small bookstore with his wife, said initially that shopkeepers were puzzled by their demand for the same clothes. But as their fame spread, traders began to bring special matching clothes for them from wholesale markets. ***MARLAR: Meanwhile my wife would just be happy if my own socks matched!
An Oklahoma State University professor says he’s created a computer program that can accurately predict whether a movie will be a hit or a flop. ***MARLAR: That’s not hard… just enter in the entire cast list, and see if it contains the name “Ben Affleck”.
A study by Salary.com claims that if they did the same duties in the private sector, full-time, stay-at-home moms would make $134,121 a year. ***MARLAR: So if you’re a stay-at-home mom that needs cash, consider working in the private sector and hire a babysitter.
In a recent Gallop poll, 55 percent of Americans say they don’t have enough time to do things they want to do. ***MARLAR: Yet they found the time to participate in a meaningless poll.
According to the U.S. Surgeon General, obesity is right up there with smoking when it comes to threatening our health. ***MARLAR: I know they say that, but I have a hard time believing it. I mean really, have you ever heard of anyone dying from secondhand Cheetos?