Truck on fire? Forget calling 911. Craig Brown of Carlton just drove a few more blocks to the McMinnville Fire Station when smoke started to billow from under the hood of his pickup. McMinnville Fire Marshal Eric McMullen said a firefighter who’d been outside Friday morning washing an ambulance rushed inside to get help. Firefighters opened the hood and found flames licking around the engine. They quickly grabbed a hose and put out the fire. ***MARLAR: In a wave of support, fire stations all around the nation are budgeting to put in drive-thru windows.
Investigators say there is no evidence to prove his claim, and they state that he was drunk at the time, but that’s not stopping David Leroy Blurton of Dillon, Colorado from claiming that he was only trying to defend himself from a mugger when he shot himself in the groin. He has been convicted of illegal discharge of a firearm. ***MARLAR: Although I can’t think of a better way to scare off a mugger than to prove your so crazy you’ll actually shoot yourself in the groin. That would remove all desire for anything but to get away.
Recent studies tell us that if we sleep more we will lose weight. How does that happen? Well, here’s how it works. During deep sleep, your brain secretes a large amount of growth hormone, which tells your body how to break down fat for fuel. If you deprive your body of deep sleep, there isn’t enough growth hormone to break down extra fat calories. So your body takes a shortcut and packs it away in your buttocks, thighs, belly — wherever you tend to put on weight. So if you want to start losing weight make sure you make yourself get 7 1/2 to 8 hours of sleep every night. ***MARLAR: Also, when you’re asleep you’re not packing cheesecake in your pie hole.
There’s good news for tiny Georgia towns like Cloudland and Poetry Tulip. They’re back on the map. Nearly 490 communities were wiped from last year’s version of the state highway map. But officials in the towns protested, and now the Georgia Department of Transportation will restore the erased towns. ***MARLAR: Thank goodness! I NEED those tiny towns on the maps, otherwise I’ll never know how to get my comedy show destinations!
In Fremont, California, a police officer was taking a teenager home from a traffic stop when he was attacked by a pack of five angry Chihuahuas that rushed out of the boy’s house. Fortunately, the officer was back on the job within two hours after being treated for minor injuries from ankle bites. ***MARLAR: Some people are just way too protective of their chalupas.
Humans aren’t the only species on earth with drug problems. In Australia veterinarians are reporting a rise in the number of dogs getting high by licking the toxin from the backs of cane toads. ***MARLAR: One pet owner suspected his dog might be on something last year when the dog hit 70 home runs.
According to a new study by the American Library Association, more than nine out of 10 adults surveyed believe that libraries will remain necessary in the future despite the rise of the Internet. ***MARLAR: Oh c’mon… it’s a poll done by the American Library Association! Of COURSE their survey is going to favor libraries; that’s where they found the people to take the survey!
Traces of a chemical used in rocket fuel were found in samples of powdered baby formula. The chemical has turned up in several cities’ drinking water supplies. It can occur naturally, but most perchlorate contamination has been tied to defense and aerospace sites, and the levels found could exceed what’s considered a safe dose. ***MARLAR: How many of us have seen a baby’s diaper and thought, “SOMETHING exploded in there!”