Darren’s Daily Dose of Weird News – May 23, 2010

Officials said a customer who struck a gun-toting man on the head with two beer bottles foiled a robbery at a truck stop off Interstate 95. Sheriff’s officials say the would-be robber brandished a gun at the clerk Saturday night at Mr. Fuel and demanded money, then pointed the weapon at several store customers. One customer walked to the rear of the store, got two beer bottles and struck the suspect in the back of the head. ***MARLAR: Which worked out perfectly, because the guy was robbing place in order to get money for beer.

An East Tennessee woman has been charged with forcing her 5-year-old son to smoke a cigarette. A Carter County deputy told the Johnson City Press that a 24-year-old woman was arrested Tuesday night on charges of child abuse and neglect, disorderly conduct and possession of marijuana. ***MARLAR: This is what happens when government says you can’t sell bubble gum cigarettes anymore.

Think drivers in our town are bad? Well, they are – but they’re not the only ones. According to a national driver’s test survey, roughly 18 million currently licensed drivers in the United States would flunk a state driver’s test if they took it today. ***MARLAR: Everyone interviewed say they drive perfectly though, it’s everyone else who drives like idiots.

Doctors at Royal North Shore Hospital in Sydney have been prescribing three half-hour singing sessions a week for three weeks as part of a pain management program. ***MARLAR: Ironically, to induce the initial pain, they play Lady Gaga songs.

Ricky Labit of Houma, Louisiana, is accusing the Manchuria Restaurant of overcharging him and banning him from their all-you-can-eat buffet because he eats too much. Ricky said a waitress gave him and his wife’s hefty cousin a bill for $46.40, about double the usual price, saying, “Y’all fat, and y’all eat too much.” The cousin said a waitress told him he looked like he had “a baby in the belly.” Labit said he was stunned, adding, “I ain’t that fat; I only weigh 277.” ***MARLAR: That was before dinner though. Now he weighs 312.

A group of scientists say there’s a tiny chance an asteroid might hit the Earth in 2036, and they feel an attempt should be made to deflect it. ***MARLAR: Astronauts say they’ll try so long as they don’t have to pay taxes again… ever.

ABC News reports that 71 percent of children said they “need” a vacation. ***MARLAR: Hey, kids – I got news for you. Having someone ELSE provide your food and lodging while you play sports and take dance lessons IS considered “a vacation.”

The first pain patch using an anti-inflammatory drug to relieve acute sprains and strains is now available in the U.S. and is intended to produce fewer side effects than similar pills. ***MARLAR: The difficulty is getting that person to wear it who is a pain in your patootie.

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