Darren’s Daily Dose of Weird News – May 30, 2010

Bud Light may not be advertising these two as “Real Men of Genius.” Two men are accused of using an 18-pack case of Bud Light as a weapon while stealing beer at a Loaf ‘N Jug convenience store.  The men are accused of stealing three cases of Bud Light from the store early Saturday. According to police, one of the men used a case of the beer to hit a clerk during the theft.  ***MARLAR: Because it can be used as a weapon, beer now requires a license and has a two-week waiting period to purchase.

A Bismarck man was charged with aggravated assault on Friday after allegedly stabbing a bar owner over the volume of his jukebox. Sgt. Mark Buschena said the suspect, John Wetzel, 33, threw an ashtray and became belligerent when the bar owner wouldn’t turn up the volume on the juke box.  ***MARLAR: Ironically, the jukebox was playing MARRS’s “Pump Up the Volume”.

Tiny is in — during these tough times. A New York hotel is offering a touch of luxury on a small scale. The Jane Hotel in Manhattan has rooms that are just 7 feet wide by 8 feet long. That’s just a little bigger than the bed. But the rooms go for less than $100 a night. That’s a micro-price in the Big Apple.  The Jane’s roomettes have luxury amenities such as 350-thread count sheets, a flat-screen TV and free wireless Internet. Co-developer Sean MacPherson says they want to make the Jane feel “charming and special” rather than just cramped. But guests will have to give up a bit of privacy. The rooms are too small to have private baths, so the bathrooms are shared.  ***MARLAR: And your complimentary shampoo and soap has to sit in your lap.

Need a new car but can’t afford one?  The Nano is now available!  The Nano is tiny, but it seats five people and gets 50 miles per gallon. Although it’s meant to provide affordable transportation in developing countries, it will be available in America, too. Engineers at the India car company Tata spent four years working on the Nano. Company owner Ratan Tata calls the Nano “a safe, affordable all weather transport, designed to meet all safety standards and emissions laws.”  Why is the car so cheap?  It has no air conditioning, power windows or power steering.  ***MARLAR: And it’s made in India, so if you have any problems with it you’ll be able to call tech support.

A robbery suspect picked the wrong Chinese restaurant. Not because of what’s on the menu, but who was having dinner. Authorities in Lawrence, Mass., charge Anthony Whitcomb tired to rob the Golden House Restaurant, while four plainclothes police officers were enjoying their meal. Police say Whitcomb grabbed $150 out of the cash register after asking for change. The Eagle-Tribune reports the owner yelled “Robbery, police.” The four officers caught Whitcomb after a short chase. He now faces a number of charges, including unarmed robbery, assault and battery on a police officer, and resisting arrest.  ***MARLAR: Sadly, it was a Chinese restaurant – so an hour after arresting the guy the officers felt hungry to arrest him again.  (Sounds like someone should’ve opened up a fortune cookie before starting their day.)

At the Consumer Electronics Show in Vegas, someone introduced a handheld gadget called Accufat that tells you how much fat is in your body.  ***MARLAR: I already have a handheld gadget that tells people I’m fat – it’s called a remote control.

The western Japanese city of Kobe has been invaded by rampaging wild boars. ***MARLAR: I didn’t know Regis & Kelly had moved their show to Japan.

At a conference in Vienna, European scientists said reductions in air pollution are allowing more sunlight through and increasing global warming.  ***MARLAR: Let’s recap, shall we?  INCREASING air pollution causes global warming; yet DECREASING air pollution causes global warming.

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