Darren’s Daily Dose of Weird News: November 10, 2010

NEW NEWS…

A mother bear and three cubs are back in their usual habitat after surprising a Florida neighborhood by hanging out in a big pine tree. They had climbed a pine tree in a subdivision in Navarre in the Florida Panhandle. They slipped away later in the day. ***MARLAR: The bears had already tried two other trees in the day – but one was too hard, and the other was too soft.  This one seemed to be just right.

Police say a bank robber forgot to set up a getaway ride, so he offered $1,000 to people on the street for a lift after the heist. Capitola police said a man in his 40s or 50s entered a bank at 11:40 a.m. and ordered $20 and $100 bills from the teller.  Police said the man then jumped onto the counter, pushed the teller and grabbed money from the till. They did not say how much money he took.  About a block from the bank, witnesses told investigators that a man was offering $1,000 to anyone who would give him a ride to Santa Cruz.  The California Highway Patrol, Santa Cruz police and Capitola police searched for the suspect, but have not found him.  Police are looking to interview anyone who may have given him a ride.  ***MARLAR: Well, police, unless you’re planning to offer a reward of more than $1,000 to talk to you, I wouldn’t hold your breath.

A Brazilian court ruled this week that McDonald’s must pay a former franchise manager $17,500 because he gained 65 pounds (30 kilograms) while working there for a dozen years.  The 32-year-old man said he felt forced to sample the food each day to ensure quality standards remained high, because McDonald’s hired “mystery clients” to randomly visit restaurants and report on the food, service and cleanliness.  The man also said the company offered free lunches to employees, adding to his caloric intake while on the job.  ***MARLAR: Sure… but a free lunch doesn’t mean you go for the All-You-Can-Eat Super-Sized Meal-Deals.

The owner of a New Hampshire recording studio said he doesn’t know how much damage was caused when a 4-point deer got inside and smashed things as it tried to escape. Jeff Landrock called the event at his Rollinsford studio “bizarre.”  Landrock was in California when his property manager told him the deer went through a window into the studio.  The buck hid inside and jumped onto a computer desk when people approached it. As it ran around inside, items got knocked over.  ***MARLAR: It was only a matter of time before they finally got even for that “Grandma Got Run Over By a Reindeer” song.

Two suspects face multiple charges after North Carolina police said they left a note thanking the homeowners for the $5,000 worth of electronics gear and food they stole. Fayetteville police spokesman Dan Grubb said the pair left one note on a white paper napkin saying simply, “Thanks.” Grubb said a second message etched into a wall Wednesday morning said the same thing, and added: “We love the stuff we got.”  ***MARLAR: It sure is nice to hear some people still have manners, isn’t it?

RETRO NEWS: FORMERLY NEW, NOW NOT NEW, BUT STILL ENTERTAINING…

Hundreds of senior citizens outside Chicago got an unexpected Halloween treat — a free party sponsored by a jilted bride. Six days before Teanne Harris was to walk down the aisle, her fiancé called off the wedding. And when Harris and her mother went to the catering hall to cancel the reception, they were told their deposit was nonrefundable. That’s when Harris noticed the Asbury Court Retirement Community across the street. So instead of letting a Halloween-themed wedding reception go to waste, Harris, 34, decided to move the party to the retirement home. It was a great time for all involved.  ***MARLAR: Plus she found a lot of eligible bachelors.

In Mankato, Minnesota, it took very little effort on the part of two county sheriff’s deputies to track down four burglary suspects. The officers were taking a coffee break at the Happy Chef restaurant when all four suspects pulled right in. The officers noticed right away that their pickup truck matched the description of the truck being driven by the wanted men. And a quick peek inside revealed all the stolen goods, including laptop computers, other electronics and jewelry. So all four suspects were arrested.  ***MARLAR: For the sake of justice, Captain Rich Murry is now demanding the entire force take continual coffee breaks.

In Uniontown, Pennsylvania, 54-year-old William Maser was arrested — for firing a cannon ball through his neighbor’s house! Now it’s not quite as sinister as it sounds. Maser is a war history buff and recreates firearms from old wars in his spare time. When he was trying out his newly made cannon, the 2-pound cannon ball ricocheted and hit a neighbor’s house 400 yards away. Smashed right through a window and a wall before finally landing in a closet. Fortunately nobody was hurt but police did charge Mr. Maser with reckless endangerment, criminal mischief and disorderly conduct. He did apologize and promised he would stop shooting his cannons on his property.  ***MARLAR: Who knew we’d be longing for the days when neighbors just shot their mouths off?

Police in Omaha, Nebraska thought they had a child abandonment case when a woman called to report that a woman she didn’t know had driven up, handed her a baby boy and a diaper bag, and left. But no charges were filed because it turned out the woman was the baby’s grandmother, and she thought she was dropping the baby off at a day care but had the wrong address. ***MARLAR: She really thought she could just drive up and hand the baby off?  Since when do daycare centers have a drive-thru?

What’s the one universal thing almost every human being is looking for? Something to bring meaning to their lives, right?  Matt Robison of Ottawa, Illinois has found the secret. He sat for a 14-hour piercing session in which he received 1,016 skin piercings. Not only did he eclipse the previous Guinness Book record, Matt said, “Now I feel like I’ve done something memorable with my life.”  ***MARLAR: And he’ll be reminded every time he walks through a metal detector.

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