Darren’s Daily Dose of Weird News: November 23, 2010

NEW NEWS…

Lincoln, Nebraska police said a woman tried to slice a tattoo of her name off her boyfriend’s neck. Capt. Anthony Butler told the Lincoln Journal Star that the 19-year-old woman and her 30-year-old boyfriend had gotten into a dispute around 6:40 p.m. on Friday. That’s when she tried to cut off the tattoo.  Butler said the boyfriend suffered only minor injuries, mostly scratches.  ***MARLAR: Ironically, her name was Grace.

Butyrka , a notorious 19th-century prison in central Moscow is installing sunbeds, Skype and spa services for its long-suffering inmates.  ***MARLAR: They’re no-longer suffering… and it’s no-longer notorious.

Sometimes it pays to have friends in high places, but one former court clerk will have to pay the price for using her job to do favors for relatives.  Shvonne Butler, 27, was arrested for allegedly tossing out traffic citations and altering traffic case results for her relatives and friends. Butler was a deputy clerk at the Palm Beach, Florida county courthouse and for two years helped out over a dozen friends who were stopped by cops and issued tickets. In all, she may have changed about 42 different cases.  ***MARLAR: She’s being charged with impersonating a lawyer.

The cake, cookies and candy at the school parties you might remember will become a no-no if the Pennsylvania approves new nutrition guidelines.  Parent organizers would have to pick just one sweet treat per party and will be encouraged to order anything else from a menu of healthy snacks from their district’s food services department.  The Pennsylvania State Board of Education expects to vote this spring on new nutrition guidelines for food served at school. The rules would limit the number of parties to one classroom birthday celebration a month, and no more than three holiday parties a year. They must be held after lunch.  The state could withhold or rescind state and federal reimbursements for districts that don’t comply. ***MARLAR: In other words, good luck to schools who want to have their cake and eat it too.

RETRO NEWS: FORMERLY NEW, NOW NOT NEW, BUT STILL ENTERTAINING…

There’s a new “Tallest Man in the World” — and he’s from Turkey! 28-year-old Sultan Kosen has taken the Guinness World Record title from China’s Bao Xishun and even clinched the records for the world’s largest hands and feet! Kosen stands an amazing 8-feet, 1-inch — essentially towering over Bao’s 7-foot, 9-inch frame, and his hands measure10.8 inches and his feet 14.3 inches! His abnormal height was triggered by a tumor in his pituitary gland starting at age 10. His condition, called pituitary gigantism, was corrected and he stopped growing tall after the tumor was surgically removed in 2009 year. By the way ladies who like tall men — he’s single and reportedly looking!  ***MARLAR: So long as you don’t mind a dance partner you can look squarely into the navel.

A  67-year-old disabled man traveled 130 miles by wheelchair to propose to his girlfriend, only to have his offer rejected! The man traveled for four days across Germany, using only his arms to push the chair. After the 66-year-old widow turned him down, he started the journey back home, but had to be rescued by police when his wheel got stuck in a cornfield.  ***MARLAR: He sounds like a sweet guy, but you can’t blame the woman for saying no.  Who wants to marry a man that isn’t smart enough to ask a friend to drive him?

Scientists have discovered a small molecule, which they’ve named fatostatin, that stops the body from making fat. Fatostatin could someday lead to a new all-in-one pill fighting obesity, diabetes and cholesterol. Obese mice injected with fatostatin in the study showed noticeable weight loss without a big difference in their eating habits. After four weeks, the mice weighed 12 percent less with 70 percent lower blood sugar levels, and their cholesterol levels dropped as well.  ***MARLAR: If they were really smart, they’d make the pill taste like pickles and stick it in cheeseburgers.

Be careful how you write your next email… Vicki Walker was fired by her former employer ProCare Health for causing “disharmony in the workplace” by sending emails with words in bold, in red and in capital letters. Walker tells us that this is ridiculous! In her defense, the Employment Relations Authority declared that she was not fairly terminated. Walker was awarded only $17,000 and plans to appeal for more compensation.  ***MARLAR: Meantime, students are calling lawyers to sue their teachers for using red pen while grading papers.

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