NEW NEWS KICKERS
Scientists now say that obesity contributes to global warming. Their reasoning is that obese and overweight people require more fuel to transport them and the food they eat, and they say the problem will get worse as we continue to pork out. Of course, they say this also adds to food shortages and higher energy prices. ***MARLAR: Al Gore is now his own worst enemy.
President Barack Obama’s spokesman caused a political stir this summer when he said Democrats could lose their majority in the House in November. Now he says he doesn’t think that will happen. Press secretary Robert Gibbs tells NBC’s “Meet the Press” that Democratic candidates have done, in his words, “a remarkably good job in a tough political environment.” And Gibbs says that it’s his view that Democrats will retain control of both the House and the Senate. ***MARLAR: He’s also just as certain that gas prices will fall below a buck a gallon and Pauly Shore will eventually make a movie that won’t suck.
It was hard to explain, that dead mouse baked into a loaf of bread. British officials have released the photo which proved that Stephen Forse wasn’t kidding when he claimed to find the wee creature while making sandwiches for his children. Forse, who bought the bread from a supermarket in 2009, said he first thought a dark spot in the bread – branded Best of Both – was some poorly mixed dough. Then he noticed it had fur. The case wound up in court. Premier Foods pleaded guilty to violating health laws. ***MARLAR: White bread – now a great source of protein!
RETRO NEWS KICKERS: THEY’RE NOT NEW, BUT THEY’RE STILL ENTERTAINING…
It’s a dirty job, but someone has to do it. And that someone at the University of Nebraska is Sol Morton. He has to power-wash each seat at Memorial Stadium in Lincoln before the football season starts. It takes the building service technician 22 days to wash away the dirt, dust and bird doo from the more than 80,000 seats. Morton says he loves being part of the Nebraska Athletic Department. And Morton tells the Lincoln Journal Star he — quote — “wouldn’t trade this job for nothing.” ***MARLAR: To ensure he has job security, on the off-season he raises pigeons.
A new study shows that square dancing can add ten years to your life. Researchers say it combines all the positive aspects of intense physical activity with none of the negatives. It’s a low impact activity that requires constant movement, and all the direction changes keep the body well toned. ***MARLAR: This is like choosing the lesser of two evils. Sure you get ten extra years to your life by square dancing, but you’re square dancing.
The Montana Supreme Court has ruled that it was unconstitutional for a cop investigating a loud party to walk into a bathroom where he heard a woman vomiting and then arrest her for underage drinking. ***MARLAR: Unconstitutional? Is there an amendment guaranteeing the right to hurl?
Drowsy spectators in one suburban Chicago courtroom might want to stifle their yawns from now on. A 33-year-old Richton Park man is facing six months in jail for yawning in Will County Judge Daniel Rozak’s court last month. The disturbance happened as Clifton Williams’ cousin, Jason Mayfield, was being sentenced for a drug charge. A prosecutor who was in the courtroom described the offending yawn as “a very loud, boisterous” attempt to disrupt the proceedings. But Mayfield disagreed, saying it was “not an outrageous yawn.” Rozak found Williams in contempt of court and sentenced him to six months in jail. However, Rozak could free Williams if he apologizes and the judge accepts. ***MARLAR: Question… how do you NOT yawn in court? Even with a Starbucks I.V. it’s the most boring place on the planet. Well, second only to listening on the radio to a Cleveland Indians game.