Darren’s Daily Dose of Weird News – September 06, 2009

• CO-ED COLLEGE DAY – In 1837, Oberlin College, Ohio, which had been the first United States college to accept women, became also the first college to grant equal status to both sexes. Mary Hosford, Mary Fletcher Kellogg, Elizabeth Smith Prall, and Caroline Mary Rudd were accepted into regular courses with 30 men, beginning coeducation at the college level.

• Today is NATIONAL PLAYER PIANO DAY.  ***MARLAR: Does anyone have one of these anymore?  Not the electric kind, but the old antique versions?

• Today is NATIONAL COFFEE ICE CREAM DAY. ***MARLAR: How can you go wrong combining your two favorite things in the world?  In fact, since we have coffee ice cream – shouldn’t we also have ice-cream flavored coffee?

• Today is SALAMI DAY.  ***MARLAR: If you hear of someone holding a salami celebration today, don’t believe them… it’s bologna. 

• Today is RENT A MOVIE DAY and READ A BOOK DAY.  ***MARLAR: Or watch a few movies that were based on best-selling novels and kill two birds with one stone.  And do so while leaning against your player piano eating salami and coffee-flavored ice cream!

The menu at a Florida eatery called Sublime offers everything from meat loaf to pork tenderloin. But there’s a twist. The upscale restaurant is vegan and doesn’t actually serve meat. The fake steaks and chops are made from things like fermented soybeans and concentrated wheat gluten. Diners at the Fort Lauderdale restaurant can also sample caviar for about 20 bucks. But instead of fish eggs, they’re eating seaweed. Sublime owner Nanci Alexander says she opened the restaurant in 2003 to help human carnivores stop eating meat. She hasn’t turned a profit yet. But Alexander says if she ever does, she’ll donate the money to the Animal Rights Foundation of Florida. ***MARLAR: And take a wild guess as to what their salads are made of!  Yeah… lettuce.  (What’d you expect?)

DeAnn Griffiths didn’t just attending her daughter’s college commencement. She graduated with her. Both Griffiths and daughter Kathleen Bradshaw received their degrees from Utah State. Bradshaw says she had a blast going to school with mom. But she says they couldn’t have too much fun or their grades would suffer. Mom isn’t ready to leave school just yet. Griffiths is going for her master’s degree in high school counseling. And she won’t be lonely, either. She has five other children who are Utah State students.  ***MARLAR: If Mom is gonna be there with you anyway, you might as well take advantage of it and get her as a lab partner.  She’d be awesome in Home Ec., and the way she carves roast beef at the dinner table – just imagine what she could do with a frog in Biology class!

Hazina the hippo is happy again.  She’s got a new buddy, Haben the hippo. Hazina had been living alone at the Greater Vancouver Zoo in British Columbia after her companion died 2005. Zoo keepers say when she saw her new friend she greeted him in fine hippo fashion. Lots of grunting, growling and bubble blowing in the water.  ***MARLAR: Yep… that’s how I won over my bride-to-be. 

So, you’ve got the Harley, the Jet Ski and the vintage Vette. But where are you going to park those grown-up toys? How about a garage condo? A company called GarageTown U-S-A is selling upscale parking spots. Prices for a garage condo range from 42-grand to 116-thousand dollars.  Facilities are in the works in 20 locations from the Pacific Northwest to Texas and Arizona. Marketing manager Carrie Berglund says not all their customers are looking for a place to park their pricey wheels. She says they sold one unit to three guys with a band, because their wives didn’t like loud music in their homes. ***MARLAR: So, it’s like a garage band… but only for the elite richest 1% of America.

A hundred dollar ride home may not seem like much of a bargain. But it beats a drunk-driving arrest.  At least that’s the thinking behind the No D-U-I Tonight service being offered by a Chicago-area towing company. Bar-hoppers who’ve had a little too much can call the Smith Companies. The tow truck operator will send a wrecker to give both the car and driver a lift home. The service costs 85 bucks plus two dollars a mile. But Naperville police Captain Gary Bolt doesn’t know if it will catch on. He notes a cab ride is a lot cheaper and more comfortable.  ***MARLAR: Does that really matter?  It’s not like the customer is going to remember it the next day anyway.

The average human body is covered with 20 square feet of skin. ***MARLAR: The hard part is getting all of those squares to fit right.

Experts say kissing a child’s boo boo really does make it better. The child believes the pain will stop and that triggers the release of pain killing endorphins. ***MARLAR: Think my mom would be willing to kiss my electric bill?

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