Darren’s Daily Dose of Weird News – September 12, 2009

Police in Marion, Wisconsin, are searching for leads in a cheese factory break-in during which burglars stole a 40-pound block of cheese, 70 pounds of string cheese, 80 pounds of garlic sausage, 80 pounds of summer sausage, 80 pounds of beef sausage, 60 pounds of snack sausage, and 15 pounds of smoked beef.  ***MARLAR: It’s the ultimate Hickory Farms gift pack! 

Police in Chile are hunting a con man who is selling bottles of mud, claiming that buyers will be “as smart as Einstein” if they smear it on their heads. So far he’s duped more than 300 people into paying $100 each for his “Lunar Mud,” which, he said, comes from moon rocks and contains “brain enhancing minerals.” ***MARLAR: You have to agree though – the people who are buying this stuff obviously need something to increase their intelligence.

A United Kingdom taxi driver has fitted a karaoke machine in the back seat of his cab. Kevan Jackson says the idea started off as a joke, but now his customers can’t get enough. Passengers can choose from more than 200 songs. The words appear on a mini television screen in the back seat. ***MARLAR: I can just imagine being stuck in rush-hour traffic while some guy in the back seat is belting out, “I Can’t Drive 55!”

According to a study by Salary.com, if a full-time stay-at-home mom were paid market wages for all her work, she would earn $134,121 a year – comparable to a judge or a top advertising executive. To reach that figure, they calculated the earning power of the ten jobs moms said most closely described what they do: housekeeper, day care teacher, cook, computer operator, facilities manager, van driver, janitor, chief executive, psychologist, and laundry machine operator.  ***MARLAR: Laundry machine operator? Boy, that had to bring down the average salary – I’ve seen people at the Laundromat that can’t figure out why their quarters keep disappearing in the slots.

A man who changed his name to Andy Griffith and ran for sheriff did not harm the actor who played Mayberry’s folksy sheriff on the “Andy Griffith Show,” a federal judge ruled while dismissing a lawsuit filed by the actor.  ***MARLAR: Wow… Matlock lost his own case!

In England, a man was told by a hospital he had pancreatic cancer and one year to live. So, he quit his job and spent as much money as he could on restaurants, hotels and vacations. He’s now suing the hospital because of a wrong diagnosis.  Turns out he’s not dying.  ***MARLAR: But reeeeeally wishes he had.

A school district in Milwaukee wants to ban a 1997 biography of Hollywood Squares star Whoopi Goldberg from school libraries because it contains “some shocking language.” ***MARLAR: Here’s my question. What subject are the kids studying that they need to read the biography of Whoopi Goldberg?

A hotel in the Middle East has dirt all over the floor, in the bed and in the bathroom. In fact it has dirt everywhere. Arab millionaire Rashid Abdel Hamid has opened the “Mud Hotel” — a hotel built entirely from mud — on Israel’s’ war-torn Gaza Strip. Hamid says, “Everyone says I’m crazy, but it’s going to be a huge success!”  ***MARLAR: Unless, of course, it rains!  (I understand that the rates are dirt-cheap!)

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