Darren’s Daily Dose of Weird News – September 22, 2010

Authorities blew up a stuffed pony – determined to be a “suspicious device” – after it was found outside a central Florida school. The Orange County Sheriff’s Office reported that the toy was found near the Waterbridge Elementary School.  No one was allowed in or out of the building while bomb disposal experts destroyed the stuffed animal. It was ultimately deemed “non-threatening.”  ***MARLAR: Yeah, it’s kinda hard to be threatening when your gut-stuffing is spread all over the playground.

Clad in Spiderman pajamas, a 5-year-old southern Illinois boy on a scooter had someplace to be. And he apparently wasn’t going to let busy highways stand in his way. Authorities said Jackson County sheriff’s deputies picked up the boy and his Razor-type scooter about 2 a.m. along Old Illinois 13 in Murphysboro after fielding two 911 calls about the child’s trek.  Investigators said the boy reportedly left home without his parents’ knowledge to visit a friend in Carbondale, about seven miles away.  ***MARLAR: If only he’d worn his Superman pajamas he could’ve avoided highway traffic and flown to his friend’s house.

Wisconsin police say a street musician apparently upset by criticism of his music bashed a man over the head with his guitar, slammed another person into a wall and wrestled with an officer before being arrested.  Madison police spokesman Joel DeSpain tells The Capital Times that 31-year-old Brandin Hochstrasser, known as “Bongo Jesus,” was performing when a 54-year-old man knocked his music. DeSpain says the two argued and police were called when Hochstrasser began hitting his critic with his guitar.  ***MARLAR: Of course, NOW Brandin is selling his music everywhere because he has “street cred.”

Competitive eater Joey Chestnut is now king of the burrito.  Chestnut, also known as “Jaws,” downed 47 burritos in 10 minutes at the New Mexico State Fair in Albuquerque, beating the previous record of 33 1/2.  Known for his hot-dog eating, Chestnut won the annual July Fourth hot dog eating contest at New York’s Coney Island for the fourth year in a row this summer.  Chestnut, of San Jose, Calif., won $1,500 for the feat in New Mexico Saturday. The burritos in the Garcia’s World Burrito Eating Championship were stuffed with beef, beans and the state’s famous green chile.  ***MARLAR: After 47 burritos, I’m guessing his coach insisted he have his own hotel room.

Robbie Williams is predicting an alien invasion within the next two years.  The 34-year-old told Chris Evans on Radio 2: “I’ve been dreaming every night about UFOs, every night. I can’t wait to go to sleep because my dreams have been so brilliant.  I think they are definitely on their way, seriously. Mark my words. From now until 2012 – watch out, kids.”  ***MARLAR: He’s right about that – watch out kids.  You should stay as far away from this guy as is humanely possible.

Electric car owners will get a charge out of Ronald McDonald. A new McDonald’s in the Raleigh, N.C. area is the first in the nation to feature electric car charging stations. Two battery chargers will be available for patrons to juice-up while they chow-down on a Big Mac. The charging stations will be free for customer use. But they may not be that busy. Electric car advocates note there are only a few dozen of the cars in the Raleigh area. ***MARLAR: The only stipulation for electric car owners is that while their car is plugged in, the restaurant gets to use your vehicle as a burger lamp.

Airline passengers will be treated like dogs – on Pet Airways. It’s an airline for the four-legged set. Pets on these flights get to ride in the main cabin, not in the cargo hold. There are even flight attendants to care for the cats and dogs. But Rover and Tabby won’t get any in-flight snacks or drinks. That’s to prevent the furry passengers from getting sick. The animal airline is serving a number of cities, including Denver, Chicago, Baltimore/Washington, Los Angeles and New York. A ticket for doggie from Chicago to L.A. starts at $199. But the pet owners have to fly on their own. Pet Airways only carries animals. ***MARLAR: I understand the stewardesses are real foxes.

The cops say a cat helped catch the crook. Officers in Corpus Christi, Texas, were looking for a suspect wanted on a parole violation. According to police, officers searched a mobile home for Roger Crossland. When police didn’t find him inside, they looked under the trailer. An officer noticed a cat staring at one of the trailer’s crossbeams. Those cat eyes led them to Crossland. He’s now charged with violating a 10-year probationary term from a theft case. ***MARLAR: Not only did the cat eyeball him, but it must’ve got his tongue too because he ain’t saying nothing!

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