December 02, 2017: Saturday ONAIRprep

ODT: 20171202
PDF: 20171202



Went out Black Friday shopping… ended up with a Black And Blue Saturday.

Christmas is coming fast, best we call the ACLU to see what decorations we can use this year. 1-800-BAH-HUMBUG.

PRESIDENTIAL WIT & WISDOM (click here to buy the book)

(None on the weekends.)


“I, even I, am the one who wipes out your transgressions for My own sake, and I will not remember your sins.” –Isaiah 43:25

Ecclesiastes 9:10 = Whatever your hand finds to do, do it with all your might, for in the realm of the dead, where you are going, there is neither working nor planning nor knowledge nor wisdom.

In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. He was with God in the beginning. The Word became flesh and made his dwelling among us. We have seen his glory, the glory of the One and Only, who came from the Father, full of grace and truth. — John 1:1-2 and 14



Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God — this is your spiritual act of worship. — Romans 12:1

Thought: Our worship isn’t confined to Sunday! Each day that we offer ourselves to Jesus as his servants, we also are offering him our worship. Every time that we consciously resist evil and choose good, we are offering pleasing and acceptable worship to God. Isn’t it exciting that worship doesn’t happen just in a church building! Isn’t it incredible that each day our decisions and actions are a crucial part of our worship to God!

Prayer: Holy LORD, God Almighty, please accept the offering of my thoughts, my words, and my actions today, and each day that follows, as my loving worship to you. In Jesus’ name I pray. Amen.

The Thoughts and Prayers for Today’s Verse are written by Phil Ware. You can email questions or comments to

BIRTHDAY VERSE” OF THE DAY (The chapter and verse correspond to the month and day!)

Hebrews 12:2 NIV = Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and Perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.


(NOTE: Some holidays may be duplicated due to various calendars reporting conflicting dates)

Today is NATIONAL FRITTERS DAY.  ***By the way, fritters (according to are small cakes made of batter, often containing fruit, vegetables, or fish, sautéed or deep-fried.  I wouldn’t want you frittering away your day wondering what fritters are.

Today is INVENT YOUR OWN RECIPE DAY.  ***Mine is the pizza omelet.  Here’s how to do it: you begin by making a three-egg omelet as normal.  Beat three eggs and place them in a flat skillet on the stove to set under warm heat.  While the eggs cook on the stove, take a large slice of leftover pizza, warm it for a few seconds in the microwave, and then remove the toppings from the crust.  Discard the crust (or eat it separately).  Once the eggs have set, place the pizza toppings in the center of the eggs, and then fold the eggs over the top of the pizza ingredients.  Add a little mozzarella to the top of the omelet and you’re done!

Today is SAFETY RAZOR DAY. King Gillette patented the first razor with disposable blades on this date in 1901.  ***Nowadays the safety razor isn’t one blade… it’s two, no three… wait a minute… it’s FOUR blades now… sure enough, we’ll end up getting a ten-blade razor in the future called the “Decathalon”.

POPPING CORN DAY.   A recent study shows popcorn eaters are three times more romantic at the movies than those who don’t eat popcorn. And they’re three times more likely to cry, according a study by ScreenVisions Cinema Promotions. ***MARLAR: And they are ten times more likely to make a greasy butter-covered mess when holding your hand.


Bartender Appreciation Day (First  Saturday)
Earmuff Day or Chester Greenwood Day (First  Saturday)
International Day for the Abolition of Slavery Day
National Mutt Day
National Rhubarb Vodka Day (First Saturday)
Safety Razor Day
Skywarn Recognition Day (First  Saturday)
Special Education Day
World Pear Day

COMING UP NEXT (Just a list, we are not endorsing the holidays posted below. Find more holidays and link to their websites at


International Day of Persons With Disabilities


National Cookie Day
National Dice Day
National Sock Day
World Wildlife Conservation Day


Bathtub Party Day
Columbian International Day of The Reef
International Ninja Day
International Volunteer Day for Economic & Social Development
Sachertorte Day
Special Kids Day
World Soil Day


Miners’ Day
National Pawnbrokers Day
St. Nicholas Day
World Trick Shot Day
National Christmas Tree Lighting (DC)


Faux Fur Friday (First Friday)
National Pearl Harbor Remembrance Day
National Salesperson Day (First Friday)
International Civil Aviation Day
National Cotton Candy Day

Day Of The Horse
Gingerbread Decorating Day (2nd Saturday)
International Shareware Day (2nd Saturday)
National Day of Lard
National Wreaths Across America Day (2nd Saturday)
Pretend To Be A Time Traveler Day


Cremation Day
International Anti-corruption Day
Weary Willie Day
Worldwide Candle Lighting Day (The 2nd Sunday)
World Choral Day


Dewey Decimal System Day
Green Monday (2nd Monday)
Human Rights Day
International Animal Rights Day
Jane Addams Day
*Nobel Prize Day


International Mountain Day
Kaleidoscope Day
UNICEF Birthday


1804: Napoleon was crowned emperor of France in a glittering ceremony at the Cathedral of Norte Dame in Paris. ***It was the only coronation ceremony ever held in France that included a booster seat.

1927: The very first Model A Ford was sold for $385. ***Now, if you’re lucky, that’s a payment.

1933: Bertil Clason in Detroit married Sigrid Carlson in Stockholm, Sweden, in the first wedding by transatlantic telephone. The call was relayed via shortwave radio through Maine and Scotland. ***And being radio, the ceremony had to stop every fifteen minutes for a commercial break. (This ring is brought to you by Kay’s Jewelers…)

1942: Scientists at the University of Chicago achieved the first self-sustaining chain reaction, thereby causing the controlled release of nuclear energy. There was a two percent chance that the reaction would be continuous, that it would proceed until every atom on earth exploded. Scientists decided to take that chance. ***“Ah, what the heck…we’re NERDS anyway, it’s not like we’re going to have a social life or anything. Flip the switch!”

1949: Gene Autry hit the charts with “Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer.” The song had evolved from a 1939 Montgomery Ward Christmas catalog featuring a red-nosed reindeer.

1950: Vic Toweel of South Africa set a record for knockdowns in a title fight. He floored Danny O’Sullivan of England 14 times in ten rounds before the bantamweight fight was stopped. ***But really, with bantamweights, even if you don’t connect, sometimes the BREEZE will knock them down.

1966: Members of the Roman Catholic church no longer had to abstain from eating meat on Fridays.

1967: The Billboard country chart debuted a new duet’s first single: “The Last Thing on My Mind” by Porter Wagoner and Dolly Parton.

1969: On NBC’s “I Dream of Jeannie,” genie Jeannie married her master, Capt. Tony Nelson. Barbara Eden played Jeannie, Larry Hagman was Capt. Nelson. The show ran six years.

1971: Award-winning, sometimes controversial, always cantankerous radio personality Don Imus signed on at WNBC in New York City.

1972: Tom T. Hall’s “(Old Dogs, Children, and) Watermelon Wine” entered the country music charts. He got the line from an old man who started talking to him in a Miami cocktail lounge.

1978: At a double wedding in Jeddah, Saudi Arabia, a confused father gave his two veiled daughters in marriage to the wrong grooms. Days later, when dad discovered the mistake, both girls said it was okay; they were quite happy with the wrong husbands. ***This really isn’t big news though. I mean, how many women do you know that find out after the wedding that they’ve also married the wrong man?

1982: In the first operation of its kind, doctors at the University of Utah Medical Center implanted a permanent artificial heart in the chest of retired dentist Dr. Barney Clark. He lived 112 days.

1988: A secret military mission, the STS-27 Atlantis, was launched. ***Correct me if I’m wrong here, but this doesn’t sound like it was very secret.

1992: The official China newspaper reported that consumers were buying millions of English-language Christmas cards even though they had no idea what the holiday messages meant. ***My father-in-law uses this same method. He once sent my wife (his daughter) a birthday card that said, “Happy Birthday SON.” (True story.)

2001: A New Zealand motorist told police he was driving with his lights off at night because he was looking for a black hole in space. The 35-year-old amateur astronomer lost his driver’s license for 15 months after pleading guilty to dangerous driving.

2001: Enron Corporation filed for Chapter 11 reorganization five days after Dynegy walked away from a $8.4 billion buyout. It was the largest bankruptcy in U.S. history.

2003: The U.S. Supreme Court ruled that after knocking, police don’t have to wait longer than 20 seconds before breaking into the home of a drug suspect.

2005: The U.S. Transportation Security Administration decided to allow passengers to carry scissors and some tools on planes.

2007: A 3.3-pound truffle discovered by a dog in Italy brought a record-breaking $330,000 at auction. Luciano Savini said his truffle dog, Rocco, discovered the highly prized fungus near Pisa. Billionaire Stanley Ho, a Chinese casino tycoon from Macau, outbid British artist Damien Hirst and Sheikh Mansour Bin Zayed of Abu Dhabi to win the fungal delicacy, the BBC reported. Savini who donated the proceeds to charity.


1697: St Paul’s Cathedral in London, designed by Christopher Wren, is dedicated. It replaced a medieval cathedral at the site that had burned in the Great Fire of 1666.

1859: Militant messianic abolitionist John Brown is hanged at Charles Town, (West) Virginia, for his attack on Harper’s Ferry. He was convinced that only violent action could end the horrors of slavery.

1980: Three American nuns and a lay churchwoman are killed by death squads in El Salvador. Some 70,000 Salvadorans are estimated to have died because of terrorists or civil war during the 1980s, including many Catholic clergy.


  • singer / actress (and I use both of those terms loosely) Britney Spears 36
  • comedian/actress Sarah Silverma, 47
  • Actress (“General Hospital”, “Melrose Place”) Rena Sofer, 49 (audio clip)
  • actress (Charlie’s Angels) Lucy Liu 50
  • TV newsman Stone Phillips 63
  • TV’s (“That’s Incredible”, Wonder Woman TV movie, before the series starring Lynda Carter) Cathy Lee Crosby 69


(Music Artist Birthdays From

1914 : Eddie Sauter (Benny Goodman Orchestra)

1916 : Charlie Ventura

1917 : Sylvia Syms

1918 : Milton DeLugg

1941 : Tom McGuinness (Manfred Mann)

1942 : Ted Bluechel Jr. (The Association)

1950 : John Wesley Ryles

1952 : Michael McDonald

1960 : Rick Savage (Def Leppard)

1968 : Nate Mendel (Foo Fighters)

1970 : Treach (Naughty By Nature)

1970 : Jay-Z

1978 : Nelly Furtado

1981 : Britney Spears

SECRETS OF THE UNIVERSE (Answering questions that have plagued mankind for minutes!)

Why do we hang stockings by the fireplace for Christmas?

Hanging the Christmas stocking on the hearth on Christmas Eve in the hope that it will be filled with presents the next morning is a custom that goes back about 400 years. It derived from the custom in Holland of children placing wooden shoes next to the hearth the night before the arrival of St. Nicholas. The children would fill their shoes with straw and food for St Nicholas’s for the donkey that carried the gifts. In exchange he would leave them a small gift such as small cakes, fruits and other gifts. Stockings were substituted for the shoes in Britain, most of Europe and in North America.


(None on weekends. Want a customizable version with your specific station tag, FREE? Email me for more information! )


(Not posted on weekends and U.S. holidays.)


(Not posted on weekends and U.S. holidays.)

(PERENNIAL) A recent survey found 68% of Americans prefer stores with signs that say “Merry Christmas” over “Happy Holidays.”  ***Can we move on now?

(PERENNIAL) There’s controversy over a new version of the poem Twas the Night Before Christmas where mention of Santa Claus smoking a pipe has been removed. The editor said she wanted Santa to set a better example.  ***Right.  Because horking down a million cookies a night with 30,000 tons of milk and eggnog, keeping you a morbidly obese bulk who forces poor reindeer in the freezing cold to haul your bloated butt hundreds of thousands of miles in a single night is NOT setting a bad example.


(Not updated on weekends and U.S. holidays.)


CHRISTMAS 06 of 09

OPEN: And now,, (Show Name), and (Station Call Letters) bring you As the Jungle Turns! Last time, Marvy Snuffleson was sent to his room because he mouthed off to his father saying that he thought Christmas was all about getting gifts… not giving them. In his room, he popped the cork on his snow globe, the water gushed out, and now he’s floating on his mattress out on the high seas!

CLOSE: Tune in next time to find out what happens, As the Jungle Turns!

***You may simulcast “As the Jungle Turns” on the Internet stream of your live broadcast only. Any other Internet use of “As the Jungle Turns” in whole or part including podcasting of your live broadcast is a violation of copyright law. Thank you for your cooperation on this vitally important issue. If you have any questions, please e-mail us and ask about “Jungle Jam & Friends the Radio Show” usage.

Decorating for Christmas leaves a family homeless!

A family in Newport Beach, California, suffered $2.3 million in damage to their home after they tried an old Scandinavian tradition of putting lit candles on their Christmas tree.  They’re now enjoying the old Scandinavian tradition of sleeping with livestock to keep warm.



No one can fracture a Christmas carol better than a kid. Sing along with these new takes on old favorites:

10. Deck the Halls with Buddy Holly

9. Later on we’ll perspire, as we dream by the fire.

8. Noel. Noel, Barney’s the king of Israel.

7. Olive, the other reindeer.

6. Frosty the Snowman is a ferret elf, I say

5. You’ll go down in Listerine

4. Oh, what fun it is to ride with one horse, soap and hay

3. O come, froggy faithful

2. You’ll tell Carol, “Be a skunk, I require”

1. Good tidings we bring to you and your kid


God has spoken through people, angels, a burning bush, and has even given wisdom through a donkey… but can God speak through a vegetable?

FILE #1: Prison inmates in Romania are now promising to behave after finding a cross-shaped turnip. It was discovered by one of the prisoners working on the jail’s farm. According to a local newspaper, the priest at the jail thinks the vegetable is proof that God exists. The inmates are reported to now believe, after finding the cross-shaped turnip, that God is telling them to be good.

FILE #2: Jack Slater held up a branch of the Chase Manhattan Bank, getting away with over $7,000. Now, he must have thought the baseball cap he had on during the heist was a sufficient disguise because he returned to the same bank later that same week and attempted to open a savings and a checking account with some of the cash. A teller recognized him and called the cops who stopped by and arrested him.

FILE #3: Four men robbed a Chinese food delivery driver, striking him over the head with a package of prawn crackers and getting away with a large order of Chinese takeout. Police were called and upon arrival they found the trail was still warm. Hot in fact. It seems one of the bags of food had sprung a leak, leaving a trail of curry sauce that led directly to our culprits’ flat nearby. They were arrested before they had a chance to enjoy their fortune cookies.

STRANGE LAW: In New Jersey, it’s against the law to slurp your soup!


This Is Your Brain On Drugs” is about people doing dumb things under the influence, but addiction is no laughing matter. If you or someone you know needs help, there’s a toll free number you can call 1-800-438-0380. That’s the Addiction Hope and Help Line at 1-800-438-0380.

Today’s Brain on Drugs story could set Father-Daughter Day back a few years.

Newark, New Jersey’s Kevin Winston recently attempted to teach his daughter a lesson about drinking by calling the police on her when the 16-year-old girl came home drunk and unruly. However, when police arrived, the obviously angry daughter told police she feared for her safety because her father stored drugs and weapons in the home. Unfortunately for dad, she wasn’t kidding and when she led the cops to a crawl space above the ceiling where they found four semiautomatic guns and more than 600 vials of cocaine, he was promptly arrested.


If you had a million dollars to give away, who would you give it to?

Share the most embarrassing moment you’ve ever had with your kids!


QUESTION: After Samson was captured and blinded, what job did the Philistines give him at Gaza?
ANSWER: Grinding grain at the prison mill. (Judges 16:21)


QUESTION: What was the name of the horse ridden by comic book cowboy Golden Arrow? (BONUS POINTS: When he mounted the horse he’d always yell one particular phrase – what is that phrase?)

ANSWER: The horse was named “White Wind” and whenever he mounted the horse he’d cry, “Let’s scratch gravel!”


Pay attention! If our next player doesn’t answer all ten T/F questions correctly we start all over from question #1! First person to answer question #10 correctly is our winner!

1. Transmission fluid is green. (False – it’s red)

2. A hummingbird weighs less than a penny. (True)

3. The sun is just over 300 times larger than earth. (False… it’s 330,000 times larger!)

4. Charles Lindbergh was the first to cross the Atlantic Ocean in an airplane. (False – sixty six people did it before him; however, he was the first to do it alone.)

5. As many as 10 pearls can be found in a single oyster. (False… you can find as many as 100 – though it is extremely rare)

6. Alexander Graham Bell, inventor of the telephone, was originally an instructor for deaf children and invented the telephone to help his deaf wife and mother to hear. (True)

7. Astronauts on the moon weigh only half of what they do on earth. (False – they weigh only one-sixth of what they do on earth.)

8. In China, a bride wears black at her wedding. (False – the bride wears red.)

9. A cow can give about 100 quarts of milk per week. (True)

10. 60% of all Sony PlayStation users are over the age of 18. (False… but 40% are)


You have to match the blank in the tabloid headline with the word or phrase that has been removed!


MIAMI  – A woman who paid for cheap plastic surgery had cement injected into her butt.

She wanted to work  at a nightclub, so she searched for someone who could make her butt look better, give her a curvier body – for a lot less.

She found a doctor – and he injected cement into her butt!

Police arrested the doctor.   And the suspect is a transgendered plastic surgeon!

The suspect was born a man, but identifies as a woman.  S/he  performed the cement surgery on herself, and felt it went so well that s/he started performing the operation on others.

Oneal Ron Morris, 30, was arrested Friday after a year on the lam and has been charged with practicing medicine without a license with serious bodily injury.



The winner has been named in the world wide search for the perfect man. After careful consideration and endless debate, the Perfect Man has been named.  MR. POTATO HEAD.  He’s tan.  He’s cute.  He knows the importance of accessorizing.  And if he looks at another girl, you can rearrange his face.


Teresa pulled into a crowded parking lot and rolled down the car windows to make sure her Labrador retriever had fresh air. The dog was stretched out on the back seat, and Teresa wanted to impress upon her pet that she must remain there.

As Teresa walked to the curb backward, she was pointing her finger at the car and saying emphatically, “Now you stay. Do you hear me? Stay!”

The driver of a nearby car gave a startled look. “I don’t know about you, lady,” he said incredulously. “But I usually just put my car in park.”


In the frozen foods department of our local grocery store, I noticed a man shopping with his son.  As I walked by, he checked something off his list, and I heard him whisper conspiratorially to the child,  “You know, if we really mess this up, we’ll never have to do it again.”


Because food prices are rising, more people are turning to Spam. Hormel says Spam sales are up!  ***Okay, that’s it.  Someone has GOT to do something about the economy.  Really – we’re resorting to eating Spam?!?  (audio clip #1, audio clip #2, audio clip #3)

The cartoon character Bugs Bunny was given the rank of honorary master sergeant in the U.S. Marine Corps at the end of World War II.  ***But it all ended tragically when he mistook his AK-47 for a carrot.



A woman was playing tooth fairy when her daughter suddenly woke up. Seeing the money in her mother’s hand, she cried out, “I caught you!”  Her mother froze and tried to think of an explanation for why she, and not the tooth fairy, was putting the money under her pillow but her next words let mama off the hook. “You put that money back!” she said indignantly. “The tooth fairy left that for me!”


37-year-old Peng Shuilin has shocked his own doctors and the medical community at large after surviving having the entire lower half of his body amputated!

…This after a horrible accident where he was run over by a truck. Peng spent nearly two years in hospital in Shenzhen, southern China, undergoing a series of operations to re-route nearly every major organ or system inside his body. And what an amazing outlook this guy has. He’s now opened his own discount supermarket called the Half Man-Half Price Store. Now, just 2-feet 7-inches tall, he gets around in a wheelchair and gives lectures to inspire others recovering from disabilities. Bujie Hospital vice president Lin Liu said, “He had good care but his secret is his cheerfulness. Nothing ever gets him down!” (Ananova)



Every journey has to begin with a first step;
mine was the day I recognized myself as a sinner and I wept.

I wept because I saw the filthy sin abiding in me;
I wept because I saw that Jesus desired to set me free.

I wept because I’d never known unadulterated love;
I wept because I was being given an eternal home above.

I wept to wash away the filth by which I’d once been stained;
I wept since recognizing the new status in life I’d attained.

Attained not through any work I’d ever done,
no I attained it because of that loving act of God’s own Son.

You see Jesus lovingly gave up His life for me,
so that I too could abide in Heaven throughout eternity.

I wept then for the joy that filled my soul,
and sometimes I weep when I think I may not reach the goal.

The goal my Heavenly Father had in mind as He created me,
the goal that He still intends to be my destiny.

The goal He pictured when He created the Great Master Plan,
the destiny he sees while molding me in His hand.

I weep when I neglect to surrender at the start of any new day,
because I realize I can’t on my own live it His way.

I weep as I apologize for the mistakes I often make;
I weep when I accept the mercy offered for my sake.

I weep because I’m so blessed to know my Heavenly Savior,
and to have been forgiven my sinful behavior.

I weep for those who haven’t had that opportunity yet,
as I ask God to help me their undivided attention to get.

To get their attention by sharing the salvation story,
so they too may choose to take part in Heaven’s Glory.

I’ll weep once more as I enter Heaven’s Gate,
as I see again all of my loved ones who’ve gone ahead to wait.

But the most heart-rending weeping I’ll ever do,
will be that first time Dear Jesus that I stand before You!


So, what gets you up in the morning?
If you are anything like me, certain projects and activities put your limp body and mind in gear and cause you to move with unbridled energy.  Knowing I get to come in and do the show really gets me motivated… I love doing it.
Some people’s palms get sweaty and their heart rate increases at the thought of the Chicago Cubs.  (This is still a mystery to me, but “to each his own.”)
And others’ voice-pitch rises as they talk about their work, their dreams, their careers, their hobbies, their family, or their investments.
Thinking about some of these activities stimulates and pushes us to give our best and be our best.
What motivates us to serve God week after week? What stimulates us to give Him our best in every activity? Well, the Bible gives us a wonderful motivation to serve—grace.  Grace means God giving us a gift we didn’t deserve, eternal life (Ephesians 2:5), so that He could make us into His own people—examples of the incredible wealth of His favor and kindness through Jesus Christ (Ephesians 2:7-9).
We were dead in our sins. We once followed the alluring but deadly music of the world’s system. Our minds were blind to what Jesus did for us.  We lurked and lived in the dark alleys of religious curiosity, self-deception, and gross immorality. Can you believe we lived like that?  Yes! Because we lived like that, by nature we were objects of God’s wrath and judgment.
Fortunately (and I am so glad for this) the story doesn’t end there. In Ephesians 2:4, Paul said that God’s rich mercy made us alive with Christ. God released His wrath on Jesus when Christ was on the cross so that we wouldn’t have to experience God’s wrath ourselves.  We are saved and set free from our sins by God’s wonderful grace through Jesus Christ. We owe Him our lives.
We are His masterpieces in the world, created in Christ to do good works that God prepared in advance for us to do (v.10). Our life should be a walking “thank you letter” to God for His immeasurable love toward us.  As you serve Christ by serving others, remember how God has liberated you from sin, and let grace motivate you. —Marvin Williams

(From Campus Journal)



When the rest of us need an eye doctor to diagnose such things, one man has discovered his own future eye problems without a doctor’s help!

An engineer saved his own sight when he ran a check on an optical scanner he was installing. After testing the device on himself, Eric Manzie discovered he had a torn retina. Mr Manzie said a routine check involved taking an image of his own eye to ensure all the equipment’s settings were correct. “Normally, my retinal image is healthy,” he said. “But on this occasion, I noticed an area of discoloration had appeared. I had no visual disturbances and was not aware of any injury to my eye. But I do have a great deal of experience in looking at normal images and had a feeling this was suspicious.” Experts looked at the image taken by the machine and the picture of the tear in the eye – which could have caused his retina to detach and lead to blindness. He underwent laser surgery.



(National Examiner) Packing on pounds is easy to do during the holidays. So here are 10 suggestions to help you keep the weight off from nutrition and health expert Dr. James D. Krystosik:

  • Get plenty of sleep. Being tired often triggers eating pangs.

  • Drink plenty of water. If you don’t take in liquid, the body retains it, increasing body weight by 10 to 15 pounds.

  • Limit your intake of proteins.

  • Keep stress levels down by walking, exercising and meditation. Stress can spark the appetite.

  • Curb appetite by loading up on “good carbs” – high fiber veggies like beans, whole grains such as oats and brown rice and fruits.

  • Avoid “bad carbs” like high-starch potatoes, breads and desserts.

  • Vinegar reduces the body’s absorption of “bad carbs” so use a variety of vinegar with olive oil for salad dressings.

  • Stay away from foods with hydrogenated oils and the sweetener aspartame. These substances do not aid in weight loss.

  • Choose foods with “good fats” like soy beans, avocado, nuts and seeds, fish like salmon, tuna and halibut and leafy green veggies.

  • Keep in touch with a pal who has similar diet and health goals to boost your willpower during the holiday food feast.



A Pennsylvania man — recently convicted of manhandling baked goods has avoided jail time — but the whole affair is going to cost him a good deal of dough.

…Samuel Feldman has an infatuation squeezing bread loaves and poking holes in cookie wrappers at supermarkets, and he was convicted in September of two counts of criminal mischief after a video surveillance tape was presented as evidence. Judge David Heckler has placed Feldman on 6 months probation and ordered him to pay $1,000 restitution to stores where he’d damaged packages. Feldman acknowledged having touched too many bundles but said he had not meant to hurt them.  ***MARLAR: Well, at least he didn’t squeeze the Charmin!



  • Sure, $100 for a brand new refrigerator is a great deal, but how do you get it home when you drive a Prius?

  • Even if the DVD players are 2 for $25, store security still doesn’t want you to push elderly women out of your way to get to them.

  • If you bring a small can of pepper spray, you can take pretty much any “door buster” item you want.

  • The people who camp out overnight in front of stores like Wal-Mart tend to smell exactly like you would imagine they do.



A letter sent more than two decades earlier has finally been answered. But don’t blame the post office for the slow delivery — the message was in a bottle. Two Connecticut girls tossed the bottle into Nantucket Sound from a ferry boat twenty years ago. Fisherman Michael Wall found it on a beach in Ireland while walking his dog. He responded to the note with letters of his own addressed to Amy Turano-Thurber and Valerie Wozniak. They’ve long since moved away from their childhood homes, but their parents still live at the same addresses. Wozniak says she was shocked when her mother called and read her the fisherman’s letter. She says someday they hope to meet the man who found their message in a bottle.


(Not posted on weekends and U.S. holidays.)


(Feel-good stories! Only posted as new stories come available. Not posted on weekends and U.S. holidays.)


(Only posted as stories come available. Not posted on weekends and U.S. holidays.)


Be sure to tune in for my next show where I’ll read you my latest dissertation entitled, “Why People with Multiple-Pierced Ears Have A Holier Than Thou Attitude.”


Marie Asner has been reviewing films for over 35 years. Her outlets include radio, print and Internet. For more in-depth movie reviews of the following films, visit Ratings from 1 (Low) to 5 (High).

DECEMBER 01, 2017…

The Disaster Artist—James Franco takes on the role of Tommy Wiseau, who directed the film “The Room” (2003) that ended up having cult status among fans because it was not well done. This is what happened to a man who thought the movie could even be Oscar material. The cast includes Ari Graynor, Alison Brie, Seth Rogen, Sharon Stone and Zac Efron. “The Disaster Artist” is rated R. No rating.

Wonder Wheel—Woody Allen has another film ready for the holidays. It is a romance, with complications, as with most of his plots. Woody Allen was born in Brooklyn and familiar with Coney Island. He uses this  to set his story of  “Wonder Wheel” in the 1950’s and many will remember the amusement parks of former times with Ferris wheels and cotton candy.  Four main characters are in the story of people growing apart in a marriage and past family problems coming to the forefront. The characters are  Ginny (Kate Winslet) a waitress. The actress, Kate Winslet is going from being stranded on a mountain in “The Mountain Between Us” to the warm summer in “Wonder Wheel.”  In this film, Ginny is married to Humpty (Jim Belushi) who runs a carousel on Coney Island. Ginny is somewhat bored, but no more, when the new lifeguard (Justin Timberlake) is hired. Ginny starts to flirt, but there is a fly in the ointment. Humpty’s daughter (Juno Temple) comes to visit and stays, and also has an eye on the lifeguard. Justin Timberlake has become an actor and come a long way in refining this craft. What a tangled web. “Wonder Wheel” is rated R. Rating of 2 for Woody Allen fans.

DECEMBER 08, 2017…

All The Money In The World concerns the kidnapping of J. Paul Getty’s grandson. Stars Christopher Plummer who replaced Kevin Spacey.

The Shape Of Water is a science fiction love story with unusual characters. Stars Sally Hawkins and Doug Jones.

Villa Capri is a comedy starring Morgan Freeman and Tommy Lee Jones referring to who is the most popular man in their retirement home.

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