December 09, 2015: Wednesday ONAIRprep

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PRINTER FRIENDLY VERSION: 20151209

 

 

WELCOME TO THE SHOW!

Welcome to (THE JOCK SHOW)! Batteries not included.

 

 

BIBLE VERSE OF THE DAY

And when they were come into the house, they saw the young child with Mary his mother, and fell down, and worshipped him: and when they had opened their treasures, they presented unto him gifts; gold, and frankincense and myrrh. –Matthew 2:11

 

All this took place to fulfill what the Lord had said through the prophet: “The virgin will be with child and will give birth to a son, and they will call him Immanuel” — which means, “God with us.” — Matthew 1:22-23

 

Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom, and as you sing psalms, hymns and spiritual songs with gratitude in your hearts to God. — Colossians 3:16

 

 

HEARTLIGHT DAILY VERSE, PRAYER & THOUGHT

(From VerseOfTheDay.com)

Thanks be to God, who always leads us in triumphal procession in Christ and through us spreads everywhere the fragrance of the knowledge of him. — 2 Corinthians 2:14

 

Thought: What do you smell like today? Is that question too personal? Not to God! Paul says we are warriors returning from conquest with the smell of victory incense permeating our presence. To those who see us and know us, this aroma points them to God and his victory over our wills and his victory for us over death. We are God’s conquest and conquerors. Let’s live surrendered to his will, displaying his grace and victory in our lives.

 

Prayer: Thank you, O LORD God Almighty, for your incredible victory over sin and death. Thank you even more for conquering my rebellious heart and for blessing me with your incomparable grace. Despite the challenges, difficulties, and pains in life, dear LORD, please help me live my life as a victory march as I journey home to you. In Jesus’ mighty and holy name I pray. Amen.

 

The Thoughts and Prayers for Today’s Verse are written by Phil Ware. You can email questions or comments to phil@heartlight.org.

 

 

BIRTHDAY VERSE” OF THE DAY

The chapter and verse corresponds to the month and the day!

2 Corinthians 12:9 NIV = But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.

 

 

TODAY IS WEDNESDAY – DECEMBER 09, 2015

(NOTE: Some holidays may be duplicated due to various calendars reporting conflicting dates)
WEIRD, WACKY, STRANGE, ZANY, ODD, BIZARRE, QUIRKY, UNUSUAL HOLIDAYS!
THERE ARE ONLY 16 SHOPPING DAYS UNTIL CHRISTMAS.  

 

Today is CHRISTMAS GIFT MEMORY DAY, a time to remember the all-time favorite Christmas gift you received and what happened to it. ***MARLAR: Saaaay… what DID I do with those Rock-Em Sock-Em Robots anyway?

 

Today is NATIONAL NIGHT GOWN DAY.

 

Today is HOMEMADE GIFT DAY. ***MARLAR: Although nightgowns probably shouldn’t fall into this category.

 

Today is SEARCH HIGH AND LOW FOR YOUR GINGERBREAD RECIPE DAY. ***MARLAR: It’s tough to find something when you only use it once a year. In fact, I have NO idea where my elliptical machine is.

 

 

TODAY IS ALSO. . .

Cremation Day

International Anti-Corruption Day

Weary Willie Day

 

 

COMING UP NEXT

THURSDAY, DECEMBER 10

Dewey Decimal System Day

Human Rights Day

Jane Addams Day

Nobel Prize Day

 

FRIDAY, DECEMBER 11

International Mountain Day

Official Lost & Found Day

UNICEF Birthday

 

SATURDAY, DECEMBER 12

Day Of The Horse

Gingerbread Decorating Day

International Shareware Day

National 12-Hour Fresh Breath Day

National Cocoa Day

National Wreaths Across America Day

Our Lady of Guadalupe Day

Poinsettia Day

 

SUNDAY, DECEMER 13

Pick a Pathologist Pal Day

Worldwide Candle Lighting Day

World Choral Day

 

MONDAY, DECEMER 14

Green Monday

Monkey Day

 

TUESDAY, DECEMBER 15

Bill of Rights Day

Cat Herders Day

 

WEDNESDAY, DECEMBER 16

Barbie and Barney Backlash Day

National Chocolate-covered Anything Day

Zionism Day

 

 

ON THIS DAY

1854: Alfred Lord Tennyson’s noted poem, “The Charge of the Light Brigade,” was published in England.

 

1907: The first Christmas Seals went on sale at the Post Office in Wilmington, Delaware. Funds from the sale went to fight tuberculosis.

 

1956: At Sun Records in Memphis a quartet of Elvis Presley, Johnny Cash, Carl Perkins, and Jerry Lee Lewis recorded “Big Boss Man,” “Blueberry Hill,” “Peace in the Valley,” “That Old Rugged Cross,” “Isle of Golden Dreams,” and “I Won’t Have to Cross Jordan Alone.”

 

1960: In St. Paul, Sperry-Rand introduced its Univac-1107, a state-of-the-art computer that used “thin-film memory.”

 

1965: The “Peanuts” character Clara debuted on television. She gave Snoopy his first ball.

 

1984: The Jacksons played their last show together in Los Angeles.

 

1987: Larry Bird missed a free throw after making 59 in a row.

 

1992: The assistant manager of a fast-food restaurant in Yorkshire, England, chased off a masked bandit by throwing hot French fries at him.

 

1995: Canadian postal officials in Toronto announced that Santa Claus had been given his own postal code. Some 10,000 Canada Post volunteers answer children’s letters addressed to Santa at the North Pole, Canada H0H-0H0.

 

1998: With home-field advantage, Nepal’s Tiger Tops Tuskers beat Britain’s Gurkha Gladiators 11-3 to win the 17th World Elephant Polo Association Championship in Katmandu. Yep, they play polo on elephants.

 

2002: When Madison, Wisconsin police tallied up their donated teddy bears to console children at crime and accident scenes, they realized 2,000 of the 3,000 bears were paid for with donations from the Fox Lake Correctional Institution. Inmates had donated $626, enough to purchase 2,000 surplus bears with the help of a Wisconsin marketing company.

 

2002: United Airlines filed for Chapter 11 bankruptcy after losing $4 billion in the previous two years.

 

2005: An Ecuadorian woman, believed to be the world’s oldest person at 116, revealed she drank donkey’s milk as a girl. Maria Esther Heredia Lecaro. was named by the Guinness Book as the world’s oldest person, male or female. Her 80-year-old daughter said her mother had no health problems, she played piano, never drank or smoked, took care of herself and was not dependant on anyone.

 

 

TODAY IN CHRISTIAN HISTORY

1608: English poet John Milton is born in London. Though most famous for his epic Paradise Lost, he also penned an exposition of Christian doctrine, a plan for Christian education, and various political writings.

 

1835: George Müller of Bristol publicly presents his plan for an orphanage. It opens the following year.

 

1840: Unable to go to China, David Livingstone sets sail from London as a missionary to southern Africa.

 

1843: The first Christmas cards—actually more like postcards—are created and sold for a shilling.

 

1968: Death of the influential German theologian, Karl Barth, best known for his commentary on Paul’s letter to the Romans.

 

 

HOLLYWOOD, SPORTS AND CELEBRITY FIGURE BIRTHDAYS

  • actress (“Kate & Allie”, “The West Wing”) Allison Smith 46 (
    )
  • actor (Being John Malkovich, Con-Air, The Man in the Iron Mask, In the Line of Fire) John Malkovich 62
  • football’s Dick Butkis 73
  • actor (“The Agency”, “Stargate SG-1”, “Harts of the West”, “My Name is Earl”) Beau Bridges 75

 

 

BEE-BOP BIRTHDAYS

(Music Artist Birthdays From SongFacts.com)

1906 : Freddy Martin

1934 : Junior Wells

1938 : David Houston

1940 : Sam Strain (Little Anthony & The Imperials, The O’Jays)

1941 : Dan Hicks

1943 : Rick Danko (The Band)

1944 : George Baker

1944 : Shirley Brickley (The Orlons)

1944 : Neil Innes (The Bonzo Dog Doo-Dah Band, The Rutles)

1946 : Walter Orange (The Commodores)

1950 : Joan Armatrading

1955 : Randy Murray (Bachman-Turner Overdrive)

1957 : Donny Osmond

1958 : Nick Seymour (Crowded House)

1968 : Brian Bell (Weezer)

1970 : Jakob Dylan (The Wallflowers)

1971 : Geoff Barrow (Portishead)

1972 : Tre Cool (Green Day)

1974 : Canibus

 

 

SECRETS OF THE UNIVERSE

What’s the difference between “partly sunny” and “partly cloudy?”
I always guessed that this was a matter of the glass being half full or half empty: what you called it depended on your outlook. I was half right. They do have similar meanings. But one of them is a standard scientific term while the other is a function of, well, your outlook. Can you guess which is mood, which meteorology? Smile: a partly sunny day is all in your head. Partly cloudy, a technical term, is when the cloud cover is between 31 and 70 percent. In aviation, the similar term, describing a cloud cover of 10 to 50 percent, is “scattered clouds.” So if the weather person says it’s going to be “partly sunny,” that simply means that he or she is relieved that the weekend barbecue is going to happen after all.

 

 

CHRISTIAN ARTIST NEWS

Do you like the Christian Artist News you see below? It’s just a tiny sample of the 5-6 pages of material you could be receive every weekday… and it’s FREE! Become one of their subscribers at ChristianRadioShowPrepServices.com!

 

Jamie Grace says being on tour with Jeremy Camp is more difficult than she expected. Jamie tweeted: I didn’t think I would get nervous singing with Jeremy Camp but I’ve literally forgotten every word and note since we started rehearsing. He was like “that sounds great” and I’m like be quiet I can’t focus!

 

Group 1 Crew was getting some straight Jesus talk from the an interesting source. Manny tweeted that it came from the Hallmark Channel. He said: I LOVE CHRISTMAS MOVIES!!

 

Kutless member James Mead says Oregonians also have some redneck blood running through their veins. He tweeted: my friend just pulled out a knife in church to sharpen his pencil to take notes.

 

Jamie Grace says that, if they ever do a new Sister Act, she would be willing to be in it.

 

Hawk Nelson fans prefer summer. The band asked if Summer or Winter was the favorite season earlier this week. They reported that, after 24hrs of voting, it seems as if SUMMER is the favorite season for our Hawk Nelson peeps!

 

This was a life changing week for Kutless member James Mead. He tweeted: I just tried lime in my Coca Cola and it changed my life.

 

Social media is getting Jamie Grace in trouble. She shared this week: Got my brother a hat but decided to keep cause I liked it. He saw me wearing it and he told me loved it. Jamie added: Worst Gift Ever.

http://twitter.com/jamiegraceh/status/672126259263090690/photo/1

 

Audio Adrenaline’s Brandon Bagby was doing Mother-In-Law duties this week. He shared a picture as he perched on top of the roof putting up Christmas decorations.

https://www.instagram.com/p/-y5S5Wy7NW/

 

Hawk Nelson’s Jon Steingard was giving his personal support to the money management recommendations of Dave Ramsey this week. Jon tweeted: I can vouch for this. 6-7 years ago I read Dave Ramsey’s “More Than Enough” and it changed the way I look at money. He said: Jess and I paid off student loans and car loans and credit cards, and have paid cash for everything since, even if that means not buying things. Jon added: So I want to encourage you – no matter your income or situation – debt does NOT have to be a part of your future.

 

Plumb was feeling like she was 13 again this week. She shared: my parents are driving me to my first show on the Christmas tour so I could be home with my kiddos longer…not the first gig they’ve driven me too. Plumb says her mom and dad were her early days production team.

 

 

NEWS KICKERS

(No news on the weekends. Audio clips are only valid for a few days before being removed from our servers.)

 

NEW NEWS KICKERS…

In Marvel Comics only Thor can lift his hammer. Now a California engineer has created a replica of Thor’s hammer that only he can lift.  *** Predictably, this has scored him zero dates.

 

IHOP, aka the International House of Pancakes, has announced it’s eliminating soda from its kids’ menus.  ***Meanwhile, feel free to drink directly from the maple syrup dispensers without issue.

 

A newspaper in Norway has apologized after accidentally publishing a fake obituary for Santa Claus. The hoax announcement claimed Saint Nick died at the age of 226 in the country’s most northern point (of Nordkapp) on December 3. It also revealed his funeral would be held at the North Pole Chapel on December 28. His birthdate was given as December 12, 1788 – but no cause of death was given.  ***I’d guess diabetes after all those cookies every Christmas Eve.

 

With just two months remaining before the Iowa Caucuses, a new CNN poll shows Donald Trump with a commanding lead at 33% of the potential vote.  ***None of which are Muslims.

 

 

NEWS KICKER EVERGREENS…

Bad news – your Christmas lights might be a fire hazard!  

…a random check by the European Safety Commission revealed that 30 percent of Christmas tree lighting sets were so poorly constructed they could give out an electric shock or cause a fire. Many of the lights failed several of 20 different regulations on wiring, insulation, plugs and other issues. Half of the lights tested were made in China. A small portion of home fires are caused by faulty wiring and other electrical problems but one-tenth of those fires happen in the run-up to Christmas.  ***MARLAR: So this year, toss out those dangerous China-made Christmas lights, and revert back to using lit candles on your tree.

 

A survey by the American Psychological Association found that 48% of Americans say they suffer sickness and lack of sleep due to stress.  ***MARLAR: So stress is ruining our health.  Perfect… one more thing to worry about.

 

A new study shows plastic surgery won’t make you look more attractive. ***Just look at Meg Ryan, Melanie Griffith and Mickey Rourke.

 

According to a recent study, 47 percent of the residents of the city of Detroit are functionally illiterate.  ***MARLAR: Which may explain why they never left Detroit when the getting was good… because they couldn’t read the signs.

 

 

WONDER WOMAN

CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD TODAY’S EPISODE… “Better Business Bureau”

 

 

DAILY COMEDY CLIP

CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD TODAY’S EPISODE… Mike Williams, “Country Crock”

 

 

AS THE JUNGLE TURNS – WEEKDAY VERSION

CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD TUESDAY’S EPISODE
CHRISTMAS EPISODE!

 

OPEN: And now, FancyMonkey.com, (Show Name), and (Station Call Letters) bring you As the Jungle Turns! Last time, Marvy Snuffleson was sent to his room because he mouthed off to his father saying that he thought Christmas was all about getting gifts… not giving them. In his room, he popped the cork on his snow globe, the water gushed out, and now he’s floating on his mattress out on the high seas!

 

CLOSE: Tune in next time to find out what happens, As the Jungle Turns!

 

 

AS THE JUNGLE TURNS – SATURDAY/SUNDAY VERSION

CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD THE EPISODE FOR THE WEEKEND OF DECEMBER 12/13

 

OPEN: And now, FancyMonkey.com, (Show Name), and (Station Call Letters) bring you As the Jungle Turns! Last time, all of the jungle animals, not being able to figure out what to do with their day, decided to leave the decision up to a new animal… a small lion. And because lions are known as “the king of the jungle” they left the decision up to the little lion as to what to do… and he wanted lunch!

 

CLOSE: I know it’s good to be the king, and the animals think that they need a king to make decisions, but it doesn’t look as if the little lion has much of an idea on what to do with his royal position! Find out what happens next time, As the Jungle Turns!

 

***You may simulcast “As the Jungle Turns” on the Internet stream of your live broadcast only. Any other Internet use of As the Jungle Turns in whole or part including podcasting of your live broadcast is a violation of copyright law. Thank you for your cooperation on this vitally important issue. If you have any questions, please e-mail us.

 

 

MOMENT OF DUH

Authorities still don’t know the motive behind the motel room grease job.

Robert Chamberlain has pleaded guilty to smearing Vaseline all over a room at a Motel Six near Binghamton, New York. Police say he used 14 jars of the greasy stuff to coat every inch of the room and everything in it, too. The motel manager says it took almost a month to clean or replace everything that was damaged. Chamberlain hasn’t offered an explanation as to why he did it. He was ordered to pay about 39-hundred dollars for the damage and was sentenced to three years probation.

 

 

TOP TEN

DOG PROPERTY RULES

  1. If I like it, it’s mine.
    2. If its in my mouth, it’s mine.
    3. If I can take it from you, it’s mine.
    4. If I had it a little while ago, it’s mine.
    5. If I’m chewing something up, all the pieces are mine.
    6. If its mine, it must never appear to be yours anyway.
    7. If it just looks like mine, it’s mine.
    8. If I saw it first, it’s mine.
    9. If its broken, it’s yours.
  2. If you are playing with something and you put it down, it automatically becomes mine.

 

 

THE FILES OF LAW & DISORDER

If you’re going to pick people to rob, it’s probably not a good idea to choose an Alaska commercial fisherman and an amateur hockey player.

 

FILE #1: …Police report the fisherman and hockey player were held up by an armed man, while they returned to the Anchorage Sheraton. Authorities say the suspect took them inside their hotel room, pointed the gun at their heads and demanded money. But it was the robber who ended up unconscious, as the intended victims took away his gun. Police say suspect Terry Butler woke up in a closet, with a security guard standing over him.  Butler’s now charged with assault and two counts of robbery.

 

FILE #2: David Pace wanted a fire engine. The problem was he didn’t work for the fire department. So the man from Washington State decided to invent his own fire department — the Kettle River Fire Department. Naming himself chief of this fictional firehouse, Pace responded to an ad for a used 100-foot fire truck that another fire department was selling for $20,000. However since there were no takers, the Cornwall Borough Fire Department of Pennsylvania agreed to donate the fire truck to Pace. But before Pace could get the truck, he was arrested for fraud. Authorities became suspicious of the fire department when Pace refused to pay the shipping charges to get the fire truck from Pennsylvania to Washington.

 

FILE #3: French police have finally arrested a burglar who broke into over 140 pet stores and ate more than three thousand canaries. Cops call the guy the “Birdman of Paris.” He was arrested as he left the “Shampooed Cat” Pet Store leaving behind the heads, bones and feet of 31 canaries.

 

STRANGE LAW: In England, any person found breaking a boiled egg at the sharp end will be sentenced to 24 hours in the village stocks.

 

 

THIS IS YOUR BRAIN ON DRUGS

Sometimes you don’t have to be taking drugs to act as if you are.

When police in Alexandria, Alabama found hundreds of dollars in a truck driven by 35-year-old Traci Doss and accused her of stealing the money from a youth baseball park concession stand, she knew she needed an alibi and needed it fast. The quick thinking, but not-so-bright Traci told the cops she didn’t steal the money – she earned it selling drugs. Doss later set the record straight and was charged with second-degree theft of property.

 

 

PHONER PHUN

What was the absolute best gift you ever received at Christmas, and why? (Do you still have it?)

 

 

BIBLE BRAIN BUSTER!

QUESTION: To the nearest thousand, how many words are in the Bible?
ANSWER: There are approximately 774,000 words in all, depending on the translation you are reading.

 

 

QUESTION IMPOSSIBLE

QUESTION: According to Family Circle, the average American consumes nearly 55 gallons of this a year. What?

ANSWER: Soft drinks!

 

 

TRUE OR FALSE

Pay attention! If our next player doesn’t answer all ten T/F questions correctly we start all over from question #1! First person to answer question #10 correctly is our winner!

 

  1. Over 40% of men tailgate to get the person in front of them to speed up. (True – 44%)

 

  1. 25% of people drive after they’ve been drinking. (True – sad as it is)

 

  1. The average person will spend $20,000 in their lifetime on vending machines. (False – it’s $7,000)

 

  1. The first and longest American sporting event is yachting. (True – the Yale-Harvard crew races)

 

  1. There are 225 squares on a Scrabble board. (True)

 

  1. Only 53% of drivers know how to drive a stick shift. (False – it’s 71% that don’t know how!)

 

  1. 12% of male drivers never use their turn signals. (True)

 

  1. 4 out of 5 people sing in the car. (True – but I’m guessing that 5th person is lying about it)

 

  1. 21% of American women would like to change their nose. (True)

 

  1. Eight signers of the Declaration of Independence went on to serve as president of the U.S.. (False – only two did. John Adams and Thomas Jefferson)

 

 

TABLOID MATCH GAME

You have to match the blank in the tabloid headline with the word or phrase that has been removed!

___________-AMERICAN AIRLINES (AFRICAN)

DALLAS –   Tyler Perry made an offer to buy the now bankrupt American Airlines.  They accepted.  The new airline:  African-American Airlines.

The Texas-based AMR Corporation, the parent company of American Airlines and American Eagle, announced that the company a filed voluntary petitions for Chapter 11 reorganization in the U.S. Bankruptcy Court for the Southern District of New York, “in order to achieve a cost and debt structure that is industry competitive and thereby assure its long-term viability and ability to continue delivering a world-class travel experience for its customers.”

Wealthy actor-director Tyler Perry has made an attractive offer for American Airlines.  The offer, said to be near $5 billion dollars, was quickly accepted by the airline.

Perry, the creator of the “Madea” character and “House of Payne” sitcom, plans t0 rename American Airlines – “African-American Airlines”.  The new Perry run airline will be targeted to African-American passengers, but industry experts say that many white passengers will want to fly the airline – “just to be cool.”

 

 

THE WAY TOO EARLY IN THE MORNING TO UNDERSTAND THE PUNCHLINE EVEN AFTER TWO CUPS OF COFFEE JOKE OF THE DAY

JOKE #1

Early one evening a gentleman scuttled out to his garage and pulled the lawn furniture out onto the driveway. Shortly after followed the lawnmower, a few gardening tools and a bicycle. A curious neighbor wandered over and asked if he was going to have a garage sale.

“No,” replied the gentleman, “my son just bought his first car and right now he’s getting ready for a big date.”

“So what’s with all the stuff?” asked the neighbor.

“Well, after years of moving tricycles, toys and sports equipment out of the way every time I came home from work I wanted to make sure the driveway was ready for him.”

 

JOKE #2

One day God was looking down at Earth and saw all of the rascally behavior that was going on. He decided to send an angel down to Earth to check it out. So he called one of His angels and sent the angel to Earth for a time. When she returned, she told God, “Yes, it is bad on Earth; 95% are misbehaving and 5% are not.” He thought for a moment and said, “Maybe I had better send down a second angel to get another opinion.”

So God called another angel and sent her to Earth for a time, too. When the angel returned she went to God and said, “Yes, the Earth is in decline; 95% are misbehaving and 5% are being good.” God was not pleased. So He decided to E-mail the 5% that were good because He wanted to encourage them…. give them a little something to help them keep going. Do you know what that E-mail said……. ? .

You didn’t get one either, huh?

 

JOKE #3

A priest was walking along the cliffs at Dover when he came upon two locals pulling another man ashore on the end of a rope. “That’s what I like to see”, said the priest, “A man helping his fellow man”. As he was walking away, one local remarked to the other, “Well, he sure doesn’t know the first thing about shark fishing.”

 

 

USELESS FACTS

According to results compiled by the Education Department, more than half of America’s high school seniors do not have even the most basic grasp of U.S. history. ***MARLAR: There is no excuse for this – none whatsoever. During the War of 1812, President Jimmy Carter, standing on the battleground of Gettysburg, said, “I Have a Dream”.  And I’m sure his dream didn’t include students failing history.

 

The alarm clock was not invented by the Marquis de Sade, as some suspect, but rather by a man named Levi Hutchins of Concord, New Hampshire, in 1787. Perversity, though, characterized his invention from the beginning. The alarm on his clock could ring only at 4 am.  ***MARLAR: Rumor has it that Hutchins’ wife murdered him on a very dark and deeply cold New England morning at 4:05.

 

Humans have the ability to recognize attractive faces at the age of 2 months old.  ***MARLAR: My mother didn’t recognize me until I was 36.

 

 

FEATURED FUNNIES

AGE QUESTION

A college professor asked his class a question.

“If Philadelphia is 100 miles from New York and Chicago is 1000 miles from Philadelphia and Los Angles is 2000 miles from Chicago, how old am I?”

One student in the back of the class raised his hand and when Called upon said, “Professor you’re 44..”

The Professor said, “You’re absolutely correct, but tell me, how did you arrive at the answer so quickly?”

The student said, “You see professor, I have a brother; he’s 22, and he’s only half crazy.”

 

 

IT MUST BE TRUE BECAUSE I HEARD IT ON THE RADIO!

THE WORD, WORD FOR WORD

Do you like really long movies? Movies that require an intermission because they’re so long? Well hang on… how about a movie that is over 2000 hours long?!?

When a book is made into a movie, it’s usually done by a screenwriter who takes the essence of the plot and some of the dialogue to produce a script. A Nashville film company has decided to take a different approach and are making a movie using a book’s text word for word! And it’s not just any book, either. It’s the Bible.  The filming for the projected 2,000-hour film has already begun and its makers believe modern day audiences will actually want the entire Bible, word for word, on video. The project has already produced the Gospels and the Acts of the Apostles on video. As new chapters are produced, they will be made available at Christian bookstores, online and through direct-mail advertising.  ***MARLAR: If you were to watch the whole video series non-stop, it would take you over 83 days! You might want to use the restroom BEFORE the film begins.

 

 

INSPIRATIONAL INSPIRATION

CAR TROUBLE

Fighting rush-hour traffic from suburban Maryland to Washington D.C., can cause its share of near misses and irritating moments. One morning, a young lady darted her compact car from a side street into the stream of traffic immediately in front of a driver just a few car lengths ahead of me, forcing him to brake sharply. He avoided hitting her by inches and was obviously furious. Within seconds, traffic stopped at a red light, and I watched him pull up behind the offender, leap from his car, and stride angrily toward hers. Clearly, he intended to give her a royal bawling out.
Seeing him coming, the very attractive young lady jumped from her car and ran to meet him—a big smile on her face! Before he could say one word or know what was happening, she had thrown her arms around him, hugged him tightly, and planted a passionate kiss on his lips! Then she was back in her car and driving away, leaving her antagonist standing in the middle of the street still speechless and looking somewhat confused and embarrassed—but no longer angry!

— B.R. Holt, Caldwell

 

 

DRIVE TIME DEVOTIONAL

As I sped toward the station, I saw the young boy standing in the convenience store driveway. But he didn’t see me; he was watching for cars coming the other way. You guessed it–he walked directly into my car’s path.

Thank God, I had come to a virtual stop even before he started crossing the street (Hey, it looks like Driver’s Ed did paid off!). I didn’t want to blow my horn, because he was carrying a bag of groceries. When he turned and saw how close my car was, his wide eyes betrayed his shock.

I just smiled and said, “Bet you’re glad someone like me was driving. Another person might not have stopped.” He was embarrassed, but he just smiled and kept walking.

In Luke 10:25-37, Jesus told the parable of the Good Samaritan who came along at the right time. A priest and a Levite just kept motoring past the bruised and broken victim, but the Samaritan stopped and helped. That, Jesus pointed out, is true compassion.

How many times have you been just the right person to come along? How many situations have you happened upon, offering your own much-needed help in a way no one else could? Maybe you were the one walking past that young woman sitting alone on a bench. Only you asked what was wrong, so she could tell you about the relationship she just lost, or the job she’d been fired from, or the school exam she just blew. Maybe you were the one sitting in the church, listening to the pastor talk about the need for volunteer help at the local homeless shelter, and only you stepped forward to lend a hand. Or maybe you were the one who was willing to share the gospel of Jesus Christ with that person whose heart was at just the right point. Only you could be used by God to finish the work He had prepared.

Are you praying that God would use you? Maybe only you will be the right person to come along.

 

 

LEFTOVERS

DOUBLE-TAKE

Twin sisters were just hired to teach the same class at an England University.

Twin sisters are sharing the same job because their new bosses couldn’t choose which of them to employ. Bosses at the University of Northumbria couldn’t choose between Sarah and Liz Partington, who have the same qualifications. The twins decided they should share the lecturing job they both applied for. Their nine GCSE results and four A-levels are identical. They got 2:1 degrees in psychology, Masters degrees in sports psychology. They then went on to gain PhDs from Exeter University. Sarah says, “We applied for the job hoping one of us might have a chance. We never expected both of us to get it. We’ve always been interested in the same things. We thought once we started looking for lecturing jobs it would all come to an end.” The twins live together in Newcastle and teach sports science. Their boss Prof John Lyle said: “They were the best people for the job and we decided to offer the job to them both.”

 

 

LIFE… LIVE IT

DOING DISHES DEEMED DANGEROUS

Good news men! Next time your wife tries to get you to do housework, tell them that it’s bad for your health!

Whoo hoo! It’s official… housework is bad for you! Okay, granted, we got this information from a tabloid newspaper called The National Examiner, but hey, any excuse to get out of doing chores, right? The report shows that taking a walk in the fresh air is better for you than doing housework. Dr. Debbie Lawlor, who leads a research team at Bristol University in England, surveyed 2,300 women ages 60 to 79 and found that those who regularly take a 2-hour stroll are less likely to become overweight and suffer the physical ailments that go with obesity than women stuck inside with the vacuum and broom.

 

 

JUST FOR FUN

Imagine being a janitor – and getting an all expense paid trip to Paris to train for that position!

Two cleaners from a natural history museum in Sweden are being sent on an all-expense paid trip to Paris in order for them to study. So what are they going to study? Well, they’re cleaners… so they’re going to study cleaning! The women are expected to visit several museums and see how the French cleaners work. ***MARLAR: After all… you have to have training, otherwise you may end up using something like brooms, rags, and mops incorrectly!

 

 

FUN LIST

REASONS SANTA MIGHT BE LATE THIS YEAR

  • He forgot to gas up before he left home.
  • He used Yahoo maps for directions.
  • He stopped off for a Big Gulp before he left the North Pole and now he’s having to take a LOT of extra bathroom breaks.
  • He converted his sled over to a hybrid and while it gets better mileage, if just doesn’t have the speed that it used to.

 

 

MORE SHOW PREP STUFF…

CUTS LIKE A KNIFE

There are lots of jobs one could do in the circus… but having knives thrown at you? Personally, I think it’d be safer to clean the tiger cages! Around 20 people have applied for the position after an advertisement appeared in a Brighton Job Center. Paul Webb of Cottle and Austen Circus says the ideal candidate must have nerves of steel (not to mention armor plating!). He doesn’t really care who gets the job… there’s no age limit and it can be a man or a woman in the position of “knife thrower’s assistant.” They need to fill the position soon, as the previous target wants to work on different acts with the circus. ***MARLAR: So if you’re already being stabbed in the back at your current job…

 

 

OTHER STUFF I WANT TO CRAM INTO TODAY’S PREP

A Washington state man is working with city officials to tone down his Christmas light display after a flurry of complaints by neighbors. According to ABC News, The Hawk House Christmas light display features 175,000 lights synchronized to original music. The display also features a custom-made, 14 foot tall Seahawks logo perched on top of the house. It runs for four hours each weeknight and for five and a half hours on weekends.

http://abcn.ws/1TIvp4y

 

Trying to coordinate all the last minute details of the holidays. iMom is out with last minute Christmas Eve Checklist. Reminders rang from telling the Christmas story to charging your camera batteries. Download the entire checklist…

http://bit.ly/1LjODaa

 

A Christmas giving suggestion to help your children focus on giving during the holidays from Chonda Pierce: Give your child a stuffed animal to represent a real animal you bought for a needy child or village! Chonda says: I did this for my kids often – such a great way to teach them to think of others.

http://fb.me/2puMeq9eF

 

 

AND I LEAVE YOU WITH THIS THOUGHT

We have a group of school kids touring the station. The teacher just used me as an example of how they might wind up if they don’t get an education.

 

 

THE WAY WE WORK

(Updated as it comes available. The Way WE Work is written by Mark Elfstrand from 1160Hope.com in Chicago.)

 

Who IS This Guy?

 

Occasionally you meet people, read an article, or hear a speaker, and you think, “I’d like to spend some time with this person.” One on one. You know, to get inside their head a little deeper.

Recently, I came across the name of M.S. Rao from India. Rao identifies himself in his blogs, his Wikipedia contribution, and his publicity material as Professor M.S. Rao. He is the founder of MSR Leadership Consultants. From India, he’s highly respected within a number of business circles.

Rao has written a number of interesting blogs, has spoken at many leadership events, and apparently has written some 30 books in this field. Along with that, certain web pages feature solid testimonials as to his abilities. He has video presentations, too.

Professor Rao loves leadership ideas, techniques, and visionary ideas. He identifies his own vision as “to build one million students as global leaders by the year 2030.” I like big picture guys.

One of his blogs relates to one of my personal favorite topics: mindset. This is the embedded way we process any number of things, holding dear to a set of beliefs that shape the way we respond. To influence or change a person’s mindset is quite difficult, yet that is the business in which I am engaged (talk radio).

Professor Rao’s areas of interest and expertise include Leadership, Executive Coaching, and Executive Education. He reportedly has conducted training programs for various corporations and educational institutions. Rao is equipped with 34 years of experience in leadership development.

A few things intrigued me about Professor Rao. One raises a bit of yellow flag. Before I get to that, here are two items that caught my attention.

The first is his writing on the subject of his term “soft leadership” — of which he is described as the “father” of this topic. From an interview, Professor Rao states, “Soft leadership emphasizes the significance of precious human resources. It helps in managing the emotions, egos, and feelings of the people successfully. It focuses on the personality, attitude, and behavior of the people, and calls for making others feel more important.” I like that.

In contrast to servant leadership, Rao notes: “Soft leadership takes support of soft skills, persuasive, and negotiation skills to get the tasks executed effectively. In contrast, servant leadership is about serving others.” His teaching on this contains 11 characteristics I’ve yet to review.

A second Rao item of interest to me was his very good review of the book, The Top Ten Mistakes Leaders Make by Hans Finzel. I have interviewed Finzel on a couple of occasions. It’s good material from an openly Christian perspective. (Rao’s summary can be found at at http://profmsr.blogspot.com/2010/05/book-review-by-profmsrao-top-10.html)

So what’s my “yellow flag of caution” on Rao? I ask…who IS this guy? I can’t find any educational background. Or where he teaches…outside of perhaps his own organization. He earned his “PhD in Soft Leadership,” which seems to be something HE’S developed.

If I didn’t think it so unlikely, I’d believe he’s raised himself up as a leadership guru (his term) and built a fine reputation by creating his own educational world. There’s no law against doing this. Nor does a lack of a PhD from a highly respected school (or a bachelor’s degree or a masters) deny you the right to call yourself “guru.” Or doctor…I suppose.

Let me clearly state that Professor Rao may have some educational credentials that for some reason don’t appear on his Facebook page, Linked In, or his own Wikipedia write up. But one has to admit…that is strange. Maybe guru schools are hard to come by.

But to my point, I would really enjoy some personal time with this fellow. He seems to have a tender heart, very good motives in what he is doing, and is a clear thinker. All things I like.

Another small mystery is where Rao’s spiritual beliefs are centered. Various faith traditions teach respect and honor for our fellow man — good to apply in all of business. The fact the Rao covered a Christian leadership book by Finzel also favorably impressed me. Spiritual foundations tell a lot.

Jesus of Nazareth had no earthly teaching credentials as well. He was the son of a carpenter. His family offered no pedigree.

But He amazed people with His teaching. The Gospel of John records it this way:
“…Jesus went up to the Temple and began teaching. The Jews were amazed and remarked, “How does this man know all this—he has never been taught?” Jesus replied to them, “My teaching is not really mine but comes from the one who sent me. If anyone wants to do God’s will, he will know whether my teaching is from God or whether I merely speak on my own authority. A man who speaks on his own authority has an eye for his own reputation. But the man who is considering the glory of God who sent him is a true man. There can be no dishonesty about him.” (John 7:17-18, Phillips)

Elsewhere, it says Jesus spoke as one who had authority.

My friend, read His words. Listen to His message. Observe His wisdom.

You might find yourself asking, “Who IS this guy??”

That’s The Way WE Work. Click on the link to the right to connect via Facebook.

 

Catch “Let’s Talk with Mark Elfstrand” weekday afternoons from 4-6pm on AM 1160 Hope for Your Life. To listen to the live broadcast or a podcast of previous shows click here.

 

 

THE TICKET Movie Reviews with MARIE ASNER

Marie Asner has been reviewing films for over 30 years. Her outlets include radio, print and Internet. For more in-depth movie reviews of the following films, visit www.Tollbooth.org. Ratings from 1 (Low) to 5 (High).

 

DECEMBER 04, 2015…

 

Macbeth (opening in select cities)—Michael Fassbender (“Steve Jobs”) now takes on Shakespeare to portray Macbeth with Marion Cotillard as Lady Macbeth. Here we are in Scotland of the 11th century and there is murder, intrigue and back-stabbing (excuse the pun) everywhere. “Macbeth” is rated R. No rating.

 

Krampus—a holiday horror film, dark comedy starring Toni Collette and Adam Scott about a horrible demon. His targets are people who don’t help people during the holidays. Your guess is as good as mine. “Krampus” is rated R. No rating.

 

DECEMBER 11, 2015…

 

*Note: Legend, starring Tom Hardy as two gangster brothers who rule London, is now due to open this week.  Here’s hoping.

 

In The Heart Of The Sea with Chris Hemsworth as part of the crew of a 1820 whaling ship decimated by a white whale, is opening this week.  Based on a true story.

 

The Big Short has Brad Pitt and Ryan Gosling as two guys who bet against banks. Shades of financial maneuvering.

 

The Lady In The Van (opening in select cities) and based on the true story of a woman who parked her van in a driveway and lived there for years. Stars Maggie Smith.

 

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WARNING:  Don’t believe anything you read on the Internet or email (including stuff you read here) unless you can confirm it with another source, and/or it is consistent with what you already know to be true. The opinions in this publication are not necessarily those of Darren Marlar, Marlar House Entertainment, OnAirPrep.com, or any company or organization affiliated with aforementioned. (Regardless of how stupid you may think those opinions are. So there – nyah!)

Darren Marlar credits all non-original material to the author whenever possible. All other material is original, used with permission, or author unknown. We welcome all comments, questions, and suggestions. Darren can be reached via his website at www.DarrenMarlar.com.