December 11, 2016: Sunday ONAIRprep

***DAILY DOSE OF WEIRD NEWS – FREE TO AIR! (Need to receive this earlier than when it’s posted? Get FTP access and receive a fully-produced version FREE with a customized tag specifically for your station or show! Contact me with your ONAIRprep username for details!)

AND NOW… ON WITH THE SHOW!

PRINTER FRIENDLY VERSION: 20161211

WELCOME TO THE SHOW!

Welcome to (THE JOCK SHOW)! We’re here to have fun–although some restrictions may apply.

BIBLE VERSE OF THE DAY

For unto us a child is born, unto us a son is given: and the government shall be upon his shoulder: and his name shall be called Wonderful, Counselor, The mighty God, The everlasting Father, The Prince of Peace. Of the increase of [his] government and peace [there shall be] no end, upon the throne of David, and upon his kingdom, to order it, and to establish it with judgment and with justice from henceforth even for ever. The zeal of the Lord of hosts will perform this. –Isaiah 9:6-7

Mark 9:41 = “Truly I tell you, anyone who gives you a cup of water in my name because you belong to the Messiah will certainly not lose their reward.”

Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good. His love endures forever. Give thanks to the God of heaven. His love endures forever. — Psalm 136:1 and 26

HEARTLIGHT DAILY VERSE, PRAYER & THOUGHT

(From VerseOfTheDay.com)

We who are strong ought to bear with the failings of the weak and not to please ourselves. — Romans 15:1

Thought: Dear friend of Jesus, have patience with those around you who are not yet what God intends for them to be — remembering that we are not yet what God intends for us to be. In the process of “bearing with” their failings, you may just find that others are more patient with your failings and more thankful for your faithfulness. Of course, the goal of our being patient isn’t to benefit ourselves. Instead, we do it to bless others, knowing that many of our brothers and sisters in Christ are hanging on to their faith, hope, and love by the thinnest of threads. Let’s never let them go and never cause them to stumble!

Prayer: Tender Shepherd, give me more patience with those who are struggling and who need your strength and my encouragement. Forgive me for not noticing their struggles the way that you do. Help me show them how patient you are as you perfect them in your holiness. Thank you, O Lord, for your help in this area of my heart as I seek to be a blessing to my brothers and sisters in grace. In Jesus’ name I pray. Amen.

The Thoughts and Prayers for Today’s Verse are written by Phil Ware. You can email questions or comments to phil@heartlight.org.

BIRTHDAY VERSE” OF THE DAY (The chapter and verse corresponds to the month and the day!)

Romans 12:11 NIV = Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord.

TODAY IS SUNDAY – DECEMBER 11, 2016

(NOTE: Some holidays may be duplicated due to various calendars reporting conflicting dates)
WEIRD, WACKY, STRANGE, ZANY, ODD, BIZARRE, QUIRKY, UNUSUAL HOLIDAYS!
THERE ARE ONLY
14 SHOPPING DAYS UNTIL CHRISTMAS.

Today is HALLMARK TV COMMERCIALS APPRECIATION DAY. ***Loved by women, loathed by men.

JACK FROST DAY. In “The Christmas Song,” what is Jack Frost doing to your nose?” (“Nipping!”)

Today is INDIANA ADMISSION DAY. ***Not sure what it admitted to – probably had something to do with how it got the nickname “Hoosier”. (Actually, Indiana became the 19th U.S. state on this day in 1816 – but there’s just nothing funny in that.)

Today Is BIG MAMA DAY. ***Although calling your mama “big” isn’t going to help you when it comes to her Christmas list.

Today is NATIONAL NOODLE RING DAY. ***You know it’s the right size when you throw it at your finger and it sticks.

TODAY IS ALSO…

International Mountain Day
Mawlid Al Nabi
UNICEF Birthday
Worldwide Candle Lighting Day (The Compassionate Friends)
World Choral Day

COMING UP NEXT (Just a list, we are not endorsing the holidays posted below.)

MONDAY, DECEMBER 12

Gingerbread House Day
Green Monday
National 12-hour Fresh Breath Day
National Cocoa Day  Link
National Lost Day Link
Our Lady of Guadelupe Link
Poinsettia Day

TUESDAY, DECEMBER 13

Pick A Pathologist Pal Day Link

WEDNESDAY, DECEMBER 14

Monkey Day Link or Link
Yoga Day Link

THURSDAY, DECEMBER 15

Bill of Rights Day
Cat Herders Day
Free Shipping Day Link  (3rd Thursday at Participating Retailers)
National Cupcake Day  Link

FRIDAY, DECEMBER 16

Barbie and Barney Backlash Day
National Chocolate-covered Anything Day  Link
National Ugly Christmas Sweater Day Link (Friday of second full week)
Underdog Day (3rd Friday)
Zionism Day

SATURDAY, DECEMBER 17

Clean Air Day
National Re-gifting Day (3d Thursday) Link
Wright Brothers Day

SUNDAY, DECEMBER 18

Answer The Telephone Like Buddy The Elf Day Link
Arabic Language Day Link
Give A Wine Club Day  Link
International Migrants Day

MONDAY, DECEMBER 19

(None Today)

ON THIS DAY

1872: America’s first black governor took office as Pinckney Benton Stewart Pinchback became acting governor of Louisiana.

1946: The United Nations International Children’s Emergency Fund (UNICEF) was established.

1949: At Mercury Studios in Cincinnati, guitarist Lester Flatt and banjo wizard Earl Scruggs recorded “Foggy Mountain Breakdown,” the classic country instrumental that became the chase theme song in the 1967 movie “Bonnie & Clyde.”

1951: Joe DiMaggio announced his retirement from baseball. Playing 13 years only for the New York Yankees, Joltin’ Joe’s lifetime batting average was .325. His 56-game hitting streak still stands as a record. Joe’s brothers, Vince and Dom, also were major-league players.

1957: Singer Jerry Lee Lewis married his 13-year-old cousin, Myra.

1958: The Coasters recorded “Charlie Brown.”

1964: Singer Sam Cooke was shot to death at the Hacienda Motel in Los Angeles.

1972: Genesis debuted in the U.S. at Brandeis University in Massachusetts. The group included Peter Gabriel, Phil Collins, Steve Hackett, Mike Rutherford, and Tony Banks.

1977: The Tampa Bay Buccaneers finally won an NFL game by defeating New Orleans 33-14. The Bucs had lost their first 26 regular season games, 11 by shutout.

1994: A burglar in Brede, Holland, hammered through a factory roof and four inches of concrete, then drilled into the safe. It was empty. The factory had been closed for ten years.

1995: Reuter news service reported that Santa Claus was being flown from the U.S. to teach British Father Christmases to be more jolly. The 130-store Index chain had imported a U.S. Santa teacher to help British Father Christmases to get the “ho-ho-hos” right. ***Have you ever tried doing a hearty “ho ho ho” in an English accent?

1997: More than 150 countries agreed at a conference in Kyoto, Japan, to control the Earth’s greenhouse gases and slow global warming. The U.S. did not ratify the Kyoto agreement. ***Ironically, it was the people who blew the hottest air in the world that were asked to make the decision.

2000: A Romanian man, paralyzed from the waist down, called out the fire department four times in eight hours because he could not reach his cigarette lighter. The 63-year-old man said he was desperate for a cigarette and was so nervous he kept dropping the lighter on the floor.

2001: Federal agents seized computers in 27 U.S. cities to gain evidence against an international software piracy ring.

2005: Britain’s Prince Charles was formally interviewed by Scotland Yard detectives investigating the death of Princess Diana, his former wife. A letter left by Diana allegedly accused Charles of plotting against her.

TODAY IN CHRISTIAN HISTORY

1518: Swiss Reformer Ulrich Zwingli becomes “people’s priest” at the Old Minster Church in Zurich, a position he held for the remaining 13 years of his life. After nearly dying from the plague, he began his reforming program almost immediately, persuading the city council to judge religious issues by Scripture alone.

1520: Luther says no man can be saved unless he renounces the rule of the pope.

1640: English Puritans introduced a petition with 15,000 signatures to Parliament, seeking to abolish the church episcopacy, “with all its dependencies, roots and branches.” The House of Commons accepted what has become known as the “Roots and Branch Petition,” but the House of Lords (many of whom were bishops) rejected it, and the episcopal organization of the Church of England remained.

1792: Jacob Mohr, author of the poem “Silent Night,” is born.

1918: Russian author Alexandr Solzhenitsyn, an Orthodox believer whose works include One Day in the Life of Ivan Denisovich and The Gulag Archipelago, is born. His books are credited by many scholars with “helping to bring down the last empire on earth.”

1983: Pope John Paul II visits a Lutheran church in Rome in a preliminary effort to reconcile the estranged church to the Catholic faith.

1984: The White House, under President Ronald Reagan, displays a nativity scene for the first time since the courts ordered it removed in 1973.

HOLLYWOOD, SPORTS AND CELEBRITY FIGURE BIRTHDAYS

  • actor (Shawn Hunter on “Boy Meets World”) Rider Strong 37 (audio clip)

  • actor (Shazza Zulu on “A Different World”, Warrick Brown on “CSI”) Gary Dourdan 50 (audio clip)

  • actress (Close Encounters of the Third Kind, Young Frankenstein, Mr. Mom, Tootsie, Dumb & Dumber) Teri Garr is 68

  • U.S. Senator and former 2004 Presidential candidate John Kerry 73

  • actress (Abby Fairgate on “Knots Landing”, Play Misty For Me) Donna Mills 74 (audio clip)

  • actress (Sister Peter Marie Reimondo on HBO’s prison drama “Oz”, Carmela/The Director/Pandora the Little Girl/Millie the Helper on “The Electric Company”, Anita in West Side Story) Rita Moreno 85 (audio clip)

BEE-BOP BIRTHDAYS

(Music Artist Birthdays From SongFacts.com)

1803 : Louis-Hector Berlioz

1916 : Perez Prado

1926 : Willie Mae “Big Mama” Thornton

1931 : Rita Moreno

1934 : Curtis Williams (The Penguins)

1935 : Tom Brumley (Buck Owens and the Buckaroos, Stone Canyon Band)

1940 : David Gates (Bread)

1941 : J. Frank Wilson

1944 : Brenda Lee; Born Brenda Mae Tarpley

1944 : Booker T. Jones (Booker T. & the MG’s)

1946 : Tony Brown

1954 : Jermaine Jackson

1957 : Mike Mesaros (The Smithereens)

1958 : Nikki Sixx (Mötley Crüe)

1964 : Justin Currie (Del Amitri)

SECRETS OF THE UNIVERSE

Where did the Christmas Yule Log come from?

During the ancient 12-day Christmas celebration, the log burned was called the “Yule log.” Sometimes a piece of the Yule log would be kept to kindle the fire the following winter, to ensure that the good luck carried on from year to year. The Yule log custom was handed down from the Druids.

CHRISTIAN ARTIST NEWS

This is just a tiny sample of the 5-6 pages of material you could be receiving three days a week from ChristianRadioShowPrepServices.com!

Mercyme guitarist Mike Scheuchzer was reminiscing this week as he celebrated his 44th birthday. He posted: I’ve been making music with Bart Millard more than half my life. When we started Mercyme in 1994, he paid my rent the first 2 months because I couldn’t find a job to pay my share and never held it over me that it took 3 years to pay him back. He’s like a big brother without all the wedgies… can’t imagine doing all this without him around.

https://www.instagram.com/p/BNe4QqUDSvB/

 

For King and Country is putting it all in perspective. They posted: This year we’ve faced political division and racial tension…Thank God for the baby who has united us for 2000 years.

 

A family tradition for Plumb. She posted a picture as her family enjoyed stringing popcorn while watching Elf.

https://www.instagram.com/p/BNXuqd7jQ6V/

 

Rend Collective this week shared why they love this time of the year. They posted: people tend let their walls down a little bit. Huddles get closer, fires get bigger, grace feels more tangible. The members of the Irish worship band says they are praying this spirit isn’t something that doesn’t leave us with the Advent. 

https://www.instagram.com/p/BNXJahUh0pA/

 

Mercyme front man Bart Millard says the family’s Christmas tree contains a lot of memories. Bart posted: We’ve been married for 19 yrs and I think Shannon has collected an ornament for every single moment along the way. 

https://www.instagram.com/p/BNWBjgeD7Yi/

 

Chris Tomlin posted on facebook this week: “Before becoming a parent, I thought I knew God in that I understood He loved me and desired a relationship with me. I knew He was kind, and gracious, and merciful and loving. I knew these things in my head. But now, I understand them in my heart.” That concept is part of Chris’ recent devotional titled How Becoming a Parent Helps You Understand the Unconditional Love of God.  http://ow.ly/GVqP306L1Hp

 

Question of the day from New Release Today: If you could create a Christian music supergroup, who would you put in it?

 

Jordan Feliz was having a little fun during his day off this week. He posted a picture while at the target range while firing a submachine gun. Jordan posted: Today we seriously got so spoiled! 

https://www.instagram.com/p/BNsYxUohMzM/

 

Building 429 front man Jason Roy says he has a love/hate relationship with Christmas music. He was working on the bands set list for their upcoming Christmas tour and asked: What’s with all of the major 7’s?

 

Tenth Avenue North was featuring some pretty amazing back up singers this week. Front man Mike Donehey posted: Definitely the best back up singers we’ve had in a while. Attached was a picture as the members of Switchfoot joined Tenth Avenue North on stage during a recent show.

https://www.instagram.com/p/BNnkC3OghQV/

 

NEWS KICKERS

(No news on the weekends. As on ONAIRprep subscriber, you can get a fully-produced, customized version of the Daily Dose of Weird News FREE with a station or show specific tag! Email darren@onairprep.com for details!)

NEW NEWS KICKERS…

NEWS KICKER EVERGREENS…

WONDER WOMAN (This feature will be disappearing in 2017)

CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD TODAY’S EPISODE… “Frogs on Toadstools”

DAILY COMEDY CLIP (This feature will be disappearing in 2017)

CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD TODAY’S EPISODE… Scott Gregory, “Paper Cuts”

AS THE JUNGLE TURNS – WEEKDAY VERSION

CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD MONDAY’S EPISODE

OPEN: And now, FancyMonkey.com, (Show Name), and (Station Call Letters) bring you As the Jungle Turns! Last time, Millard the Monkey was flying around the world with Jean Claude the flying squirrel trying to find somewhere that didn’t know about Steve Mozart. But alas, that was impossible – so Millard, defeated, is now heading back home… where he always takes second place to Steve Mozart.

CLOSE: What on earth could Millard be planning? What does a copy shop have to do with Steve Mozart’s concert? Find out next time, As the Jungle Turns!

AS THE JUNGLE TURNS – SATURDAY/SUNDAY VERSION (This feature will be disappearing in 2017)

CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD THE EPISODE FOR THE WEEKEND OF DECEMBER 10/11

OPEN: And now, FancyMonkey.com, (Show Name), and (Station Call Letters) bring you As the Jungle Turns! When last we left the jungle, Millard the Monkey was so frustrated and angry at never being as good as Mozart at anything that he decided to sabotage Mozart’s concert that night… and his evil plan began at a very unusual place, the Franciscan Monkey Copy Shop…

CLOSE: Will Millard’s evil scheme work? Will tomorrow be great… or will Steve Mozart yet again show up Millard J. Monkey? Find out next time, As the Jungle Turns!

***You may simulcast “As the Jungle Turns” on the Internet stream of your live broadcast only. Any other Internet use of “As the Jungle Turns” in whole or part including podcasting of your live broadcast is a violation of copyright law. Thank you for your cooperation on this vitally important issue. If you have any questions, please e-mail us and ask about “Jungle Jam & Friends the Radio Show” usage.

MOMENT OF DUH

Today’s Moment of Duh includes a pack of beef jerky and some cancer causing cigarettes, but not in the way you might think.

Richard Rodriguez held up a convenience store, getting away with a pack of cigarettes and about $60. You have to wonder why he didn’t steal some beef jerky and peanuts while he was at it because that’s exactly what he purchased when he returned to the store a couple of weeks later. And he bought the items from the same clerk he had robbed earlier. This time she took note of his license number, called the cops and Mr. Rodriguez was arrested.

TOP TEN

TOP TEN EXCUSES THE INNKEEPER HAD

10. Roman’s “Stay Free” promotion a bit too successful

9. Wife said he couldn’t accept wood carvings as payment anymore

8. Too busy getting new “Motel One” franchise going

7. Last pregnant lady riding a donkey took all their towels

6. Filled up for the “Caesar Impersonators'” convention

5. Didn’t accept the Judean Express Card

4. Last room left was by the ice machine

3. Nazareth Shriners tore up the place the night before

2. Old Testament Gideons had not been by to re-stock the rooms

1. No last names, no service

THE FILES OF LAW & DISORDER

It was the Christmas that almost wasn’t.

FILE #1: Marcus McCoy and Tanya White decided to trail UPS trucks in Indiana and Illinois for one reason… to snatch packages off doorsteps once they were delivered.  They collected thousands of dollars in boxed-up Christmas gifts.  When the police finally caught up to them in East Chicago, the booty included notes from grandmothers wishing the intended recipients a merry Christmas and mounds of shredded wrapping paper.  Charges against the two Scrooges are expected to include theft, burglary, forgery and unlawful use of a credit card. McCoy and White are in custody and face arraignment this weekend.  According to Lake County Sheriff Roy Dominguez, “We’re happy to arrest a grinch anytime.”

FILE #2: Here’s something new – a man giving himself up to police, over the Internet! A man accused of sending harassing emails to a Texas police department has been sent an email telling him to give himself up. Rowlett police informed John Germer that a warrant had been issued for his arrest on a misdemeanor harassment charge. They said an attorney representing the 38-year-old called them a short time later asking how and when Germer could surrender. Police have agreed not to prosecute if Germer undergoes counseling and agrees in writing to use his real name in any more communications with them.

FIILE #3: Irene Hess was on the run from the law on charges that she had destroyed property at her employer’s home while she was serving as a nanny. When an article appeared in the New York Post detailing what she had allegedly done, she became very upset. So upset that she grabbed a copy of the Post, stopped a New York police officer on the street, showed him the article and asked if he thought she could sue for slander. The officer wasn’t sure what course of legal action she should take but he was sure what action he should take. He arrested her.

STRANGE LAW: Rhode Island: In Providence, it is illegal to sell toothpaste and a toothbrush to the same customer on a Sunday.

THIS IS YOUR BRAIN ON DRUGS

A man runs away from a cop but is taken down by a washing machine.

A Crystal River, Florida man apparently just wanted to finish a beer before going to jail, but that didn’t sit well with the arresting officer who eventually used his Taser on the man. Lemark Daniels, was driving a along northeast Eighth Street when he was pulled over for running a stop sign. The sheriff’s deputy saw an open beer container in the car and asked Daniels to step out of the car. As he was being patted down, the report states, Daniels slapped the officer’s hand away, turned around and yelled at him. Then he picked up the beer and finished drinking it, while the officer was pointing his Taser and commanding him to stop and put his hands on the car. The arrest report states Daniels finished the beer and threw the can on the ground, continuing to berate the deputy. Daniels then ran away, and eventually was stopped after he ran into a washing machine in a person’s yard. The officer then used his Taser to temporarily stun him. Daniels has been charged with resisting arrest, consumption of alcohol in a public place and possession of drug paraphernalia, after a homemade pipe was found in his pocket.

PHONER PHUN

What TV commercial makes you cry?

BIBLE BRAIN BUSTER!

QUESTION: According to Jesus, what would not fall to the ground apart from God’s will?
ANSWER: A sparrow (Matthew 10:29 = “Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? Yet not one of them will fall to the ground apart from the will of your Father.”)

QUESTION IMPOSSIBLE

QUESTION: In 1945, World War II rationing ended in the United States on all foods except for what?
ANSWER: In 1945, World War II rationing ended in the United States on all foods except sugar.

TRUE OR FALSE

Pay attention! If our next player doesn’t answer all ten T/F questions correctly we start all over from question #1! First person to answer question #10 correctly is our winner!

1. The longest recorded flight of a chicken is thirty seconds. (False… it’s only thirteen seconds)

2. The Eisenhower interstate system requires that one mile in every five must be straight. (True! And do you know why? These straight sections are usable as airstrips in times of war or other emergencies!)

3. The highest point in Pennsylvania is lower than the lowest point in Colorado. (True.)

4. You can have $1.19 in change in your pocket and still not be able to make change for a dollar. (True… if you have three quarters, four dimes, and four pennies.)

5. No NFL team which plays its home games in a domed stadium has ever won a Superbowl. (False)

6. The first toilet ever seen on television was on “The Munsters”. (False… it was on “Leave It To Beaver”.)

7. Wendy, the book “Peter Pan” was named after the author’s daughter. (False… the name never existed before. The name Wendy was made up for the book “Peter Pan.”)

8. First published in June 2004, Bill Clinton’s autobiography was called, “My Regret”. (False… it was called “My Life”)

9. In the original book series, super-sleuth Sherlock Holmes was addicted to Cocaine. (True)

10. The Three Mile Island nuclear facility is located in Nebraska. (False… Pennsylvania)

TABLOID MATCH GAME

You have to match the blank in the tabloid headline with the word or phrase that has been removed!

“Hot Air Balloon _____ Crashes Into Backyard!” (Wedding)
In San Diego an unexpected huge gust of wind forced a hot air balloon pilot to make a crash landing in the back yard of a residence! The balloon was carrying a wedding party and the bride and groom had just exchanged vows when the crash took place. Only one of the 14 people onboard the balloon suffered a minor injury and the wedding party went on to their reception!

THE WAY TOO EARLY IN THE MORNING TO UNDERSTAND THE PUNCHLINE EVEN AFTER TWO CUPS OF COFFEE JOKE OF THE DAY 

JOKE #1

Polly was in the supermarket a week or so before Christmas. As she was bending over the freezer cabinet to pick up a heavish turkey, she ricked her back. Instantly she froze and let out a shriek of pain; whereupon another shopper leaned towards her knowingly . “If you think turkeys are bad,” she said, “you should see the price of fillet steak!”

JOKE #2

The farmer’s son was returning from the market with a crate of chickens his father had entrusted to him, when all of a sudden the box fell and broke open.

Chickens scurried off in different directions, but the determined boy walked all over the neighborhood scooping up the wayward birds and returning them to the repaired crate. Hoping he had found them all, the boy reluctantly returned home, expecting the worst.

“Pa, the chickens got loose,” the boy confessed sadly, “but I managed to find all twelve of them.”

“Well, you done a good job, son,” the farmer beamed.

“You left with seven.”

JOKE #3

For months he had been her devoted admirer. Now, at long last, he had collected up sufficient courage to ask her the most momentous of all questions:

“There are quite a lot of advantages to being a bachelor,” he began, “but there comes a time when one longs for the companionship of another being — a being who will regard one as perfect, as an idol; whom one can treat as one’s absolute own; who will be kind and faithful when times are hard; who will share one’s joys and sorrows.”

To his delight he saw a sympathetic gleam in her eyes. Then she nodded in agreement.

Finally, she responded, “I think its a great idea! Can I help you choose which puppy to buy?”

USELESS FACTS

The Census Bureau reports that the average American commutes for more than an hour to get to work, and that it seems to be getting longer.  ***And they can’t quit their jobs, because they need the money to buy gas to get to work.

Eating milk chocolate can improve your brain activity. Scientists now say you should eat some milk chocolate before your next exam or big work project. ***I use chocolate in my coffee every single morning… and if this is how I am when my brain activity is improved, imagine what kind of an idiot I am before that first cup of java!

FEATURED FUNNIES

WIRE GUARD

Gale-force winds and frigid temperatures had taken their toll. Snapped electric wires were sparking and snaking about the snowdrifts. As a foot patrolman, I was assigned to a desolate intersection to provide security at the scene of a downed wire.

It was 12:40 a.m. and -19 degrees when I relieved the initial guardian of this dangerous area. He pointed out the thin line swinging ferociously from the main electric circuit, as he entered the squad car for his return to warmth. I pulled my coat collar up to my earmuffs and took up my position to protect the public.

Finally, at 5:40 a.m., a utility truck arrived. The linemen checked the wires, then, laughing, descended toward me.

“Well, Officer,” one of them said, “congratulations. You’ve successfully guarded a frozen kite string all night.”

IT MUST BE TRUE BECAUSE I HEARD IT ON THE RADIO!

FUN FACTS ABOUT KISSING

  • Two out of every three couples turn their heads to the right when they kiss.

  • A simple peck uses two muscles; a passionate kiss, on the other hand, uses all 34 muscles in your face.

  • Like fingerprints or snowflakes, no two lip impressions are alike.

  • Kissing is good for what ails you. Research shows that the act of smooching improves our skin, helps circulation, prevents tooth decay, and can even relieve headaches.

  • The average person spends 336 hours of his or her life kissing.

  • Ever wonder how an “X,” as in xoxo, came to represent a kiss? Starting in the Middle Ages, people who could not read used an X as a signature. They would kiss this mark as a sign of sincerity. Eventually, the X came to represent the kiss itself.

  • Talk about a rush! Kissing releases the same neurotransmitters in our brains as parachuting, bungee jumping, and running.

  • The average woman kisses 29 men before she gets married.

  • Men who kiss their partners before leaving for work average higher incomes than those who don’t.

  • The longest kiss in movie history was between Jane Wyman and Regis Tommey in the 1941 film, “You’re in the Army Now.”  It lasted 3 minutes and 5 seconds.

INSPIRATIONAL INSPIRATION

THE PENNY

Several years ago, a friend of mine and her husband were invited to spend the weekend at the husband’s employer’s home. My friend, Arlene, was nervous about the weekend. The boss was very wealthy, with a fine home on the water-way, and cars costing more than her house. The first day and evening went well, and Arlene was delighted to have this rare glimpse into how the very wealthy live.

The husband’s employer was quite generous as a host, and took them to the finest restaurants. Arlene knew she would never have the opportunity to indulge in this kind of extravagance again, so was enjoying herself immensely.

As the three of them were about to enter an exclusive restaurant that evening, the boss was walking slightly ahead of Arlene and her husband. He stopped suddenly, looking down on the pavement for a long, silent moment. Arlene wondered if she was supposed to pass him. There was nothing on the ground except a single darkened penny that someone had dropped, and a few cigarette butts.

Still silent, the man reached down and picked up the penny. He held it up and smiled, then put it in his pocket as if he had found a great treasure. How absurd! What need did this man have for a single penny? Why would he even take the time to stop and pick it up?

Throughout dinner, the entire scene nagged at her. Finally, she could stand it no longer. She causally mentioned that her daughter once had a coin collection, and asked if the penny he had found had been of some valuable. A smile crept across the man’s face as he reached into his pocket for the penny and held it out for her to see.

She had seen many pennies before! What was the point of this? “Look at it.” He said. “Read what it says.” She read the words “United States of America.” “No, not that; read further.” “One cent?” “No, keep reading.” “In God we Trust?” “Yes!” “And?” “And if I trust in God, the name of God is holy, even on a coin. Whenever I find a coin I see that inscription. It is written on every single United States coin, but we never seem to notice it! God drops a message right in front of me telling me to trust Him? Who am I to pass it by? When I see a coin, I pray, I stop to see if my trust IS in God at that moment. I pick the coin up as a response to God; that I do trust in Him..

For a short time, at least, I cherish it as if it were gold. I think it is God’s way of starting a conversation with me. Lucky for me, God is patient and pennies are plentiful!

When I was out shopping today, I found a penny on the sidewalk. I stopped and picked it up, and realized that I had been worrying and fretting in my mind about things I can not change. I read the words, “In God We Trust,” and had to laugh. Yes, God, I get the message. It seems that I have been finding an inordinate number of pennies in the last few months, but then, pennies are plentiful! And God is patient…

DRIVE TIME DEVOTIONAL

SUFFERING FOR THE SALVATION OF ANOTHER

Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of Me. –Matthew 5:11

Recently, a friend told a true story about one of his closest friends who experienced great suffering for the soul of his persecutor. This man worked on a cargo ship. His boss was the captain. This friend was a committed Christian who shared his faith with others and was a good worker. One day the friend led the sea captain’s girlfriend to Christ. The sea captain already hated and ridiculed the Christian worker because of his faith in Christ. When his girlfriend came to Christ, she stopped sleeping with the captain.

The captain blamed the Christian man for the change in his girlfriend. One day he entered the restaurant where the Christian man was having lunch. He walked over to his table and began hurling obscenities and began beating him. The Christian man simply tried to defend himself but did not fight back. The captain kept beating him until eventually the man lay on the floor bleeding.

Two men entered the restaurant and saw what was taking place. They jumped the sea captain and took him outside and began beating him. The sea captain was beaten so badly that he needed immediate medical attention. The Christian worker saw the condition of the sea captain, came to his aid, and began helping him. The sea captain was so moved that this man could do this after he had literally beaten him bloody that he began to weep, not understanding what could move a man to have such love in the face of being beaten. The sea captain accepted Jesus at that moment.

The Bible tells us that while we were yet sinners Christ came and paid our penalty so that we might live eternally. Many in the marketplace have never known the love of Christ. You might be the only one they ever meet who can introduce them to this love.

Ask God to show you how to love the unlovable in your workplace today.

LEFTOVERS

TUTOR BE OR NOT TUTOR BE

If your child is left behind in school despite no child left behind, chances are you’ve considered a tutor. That is until you’ve seen the price tags ranging anywhere from $25 to $100 an hour. But, what if you could get a tutor for $2.50 an hour?

…Thanks to outsourcing, you can have just such a tutor. Bangalore, India, based TutorVista has a staff of 150 “e-tutors,” mostly in India, with a fee of $100 a month for unlimited hours. If you think it sounds crazy, keep in mind that while our education system struggles, China and India are turning out the world’s largest number of science and engineering graduates. TutorVista offers subjects ranging from grammar to geometry for children as young as 6 years old all the way to adults in college. Plus, many of the tutors have masters degrees in their subjects. Each tutor undergoes 60 hours of training, including lessons on how to speak in a U.S. accent and how to decipher American slang.

LIFE… LIVE IT

THE WINTER WORKOUT

It’s the holidays… which means you’re going to pack on the pounds, right? Here are a few tips on how to keep the calorie count down by doing a little winter exercising!

Just because it’s the holidays doesn’t mean you can get away from all of your chores around the house. But the good news is, some of those chores may offset the giant amounts of food you’ll be inhaling the next few weeks.

  • Shoveling snow burns 60 calories for every 10 minutes
  • Sweeping snow off a porch burns 40 calories for every 10 minutes
  • Splitting Wood burns 60 calories for every 10 minutes
  • Carrying and tossing wood burns 50 calories for every 10 minutes
  • Cleaning snow off the car burns 45 calories for every 10 minutes
  • ***MARLAR: And, reading a list out loud of how many calories are burned for various activities… that burns 20 calories every 10 minutes!

JUST FOR FUN

DO YOU TAKE THIS PIN NUMBER TO BE YOUR…

Can an ATM machine result in a wedding? It did for Laurence and Lesa!

Laurence Etcheberry was making a transaction last year at an ATM just north of San Francisco when Lesa McGill literally bumped into him. Embarrassed, she apologized and headed for her car as they smiled and nodded at one another. As fate would have it, they passed each other later on Main Street in St. Helena. She waved, he made a U-turn, and they were married over the weekend at the Bank of America ATM machine in St. Helena, California. The groom wore a black tux, the bride wore a white gown, the ATM machine was draped in a floral arrangement, and the bank allowed the bride and groom 3 minutes to withdraw as much cash as possible from the ATM. They managed to get $840 for additional honeymoon cash.  ***MARLAR: I guess you could say they both married for money.

FUN LIST

LEAST POPULAR TOYS SOLD THE FIRST WEEKEND OF THE CHRISTMAS SHOPPING SEASON

  • Upper GI Joe

  • Jack In The Box 360

  • The Laugh And Learn Nitrous Tank

  • Overstock Dot Com’s Empty Milk Crates

  • Barrel Full Of Dead Monkeys

  • Thomas The Exploding Tank Engine

  • Un-sanded Wooden Blocks With Splinters Hanging Out

  • I Don’t Care Bears

  • Lettuce Patch Kids

  • Winnie The Pooh-Pooh

  • Little Tikes’ Totally Tubular Technological Tongue Twister Tooth Training Taffy-Time Talker

MORE SHOW PREP STUFF…

MUZAK MAY SOON BE ILLEGAL! WHOO HOO!

A British member of parliament is waging war on piped-in music, saying it is a health hazard and demanding it be banned from public places. Conservative MP Robert Key said piped-in music, also known as “muzak,” raises blood pressure, depresses the immune system, and devalues music into mere “acoustic wallpaper.” In a letter to fellow MPs, Key said he was proposing a bill which would ban the playing of piped-in music in hospitals, doctors surgeries, swimming pools, bus and rail stations and airports.  ***MARLAR: I would also like to add to that list: supermarkets, elevators, and on-hold messages.

OTHER STUFF I WANT TO CRAM INTO TODAY’S PREP

Smart phones have brought with them a whole new language made up entirely of acronym. But how well do you know what all those abbreviations mean? Now you can find out. A new quiz tests your acronym IQ by asking you to decipher a list of the abbreviations being used on cell phones across the USA. http://visual.ly/whats-your-acronym-iq

It has long been known that when you skimp on sleep, you’re far more likely to overeat, make poor food choices and gain weight. But why? Researchers from the University of Chicago Medical Center have figured it. The short answer: Too little sleep gives you the munchies. The long answer: Sleep loss amplifies and extends blood levels of a chemical signal that enhances the joy of eating, particularly the guilty pleasures gained from sweet or salty, high-fat snack foods. Fourteen sleep-deprived participants in this study, all of whom were young, healthy volunteers, were unable to resist cookies, candy and chips — even though they had consumed a meal that supplied 90 percent of their daily caloric needs two hours before. The effects of sleep loss on appetite were most powerful in the late afternoon and early evening, times when snacking has been linked to weight gain. During that period, sleep-restricted study subjects reported higher scores for hunger and a stronger desire to eat. When given access to snacks, they ate nearly twice as much fat as when they had slept for eight hours. The takeaway: When you get less than five hours of sleep, it will likely result in binge-eating the next day to the tune of an extra 300 calories.

Are you a coffee drinker?  Let’s talk about that coffeemaker at hour house.  That warm, damp reservoir is a bacteria mecca. An NSF Internal study found both yeast and mold were common, and 9 % of coffeemakers turned up coliform, a group of fecal bacteria that include E. Coli. Do yourself a favor and every month or two, fill the reservoir with white vinegar, wait 30 minutes, and run a normal brew cycle. Run a few pots of water until the vinegar smell dissipates. We do this at my house and I can actually tell a difference in the taste of the coffee.

Here is a real nail biter. Medical experts are no longer saying chewing your fingernails is a bad habit… it’s now a mental disorder. Millions of people just cannot help biting their nails down to the quick and that classifies them as someone who has a full-fledged obsessive-compulsive disorder, according to the American Psychiatric Association.  So nail biting is now up there up there with other OCD habits such as repetitive hand washing and hair pulling. The mental disease is characterized by unreasonable thoughts and fears that lead to such repetitive behavior. But don’t fret if you know someone who occasionally nibbles on their nails; it is only worrisome if the action becomes destructive, including damaging the hands or triggering repeated infections, say the experts. “As with hair pulling and skin picking, nail biting is not a disorder unless it is impairing, distressing, and meets a certain clinical level of severity,” notes psychiatrist Dr. Carol Mathews, of the University of California, San Francisco. She says, “That is not the vast majority of nail biters.”

AND I LEAVE YOU WITH THIS THOUGHT

Transportation for today’s program was provided by Budget Rent-a-Sled, where no matter what size sled you rent, you still pay the same low price, only $60 a dog.

THE TICKET Movie Reviews with MARIE ASNER

Marie Asner has been reviewing films for over 30 years. Her outlets include radio, print and Internet. For more in-depth movie reviews of the following films, visit www.Tollbooth.org. Ratings from 1 (Low) to 5 (High).

DECEMBER 09, 2016…

 

Miss Sloane—Jessica Chastain takes on the role of a woman lobbyist in a business that has a glass ceiling. She wants to get a bill through Congress for tighter background checks on gun sales.  Good luck. Also in the cast are Mark Strong and Gugu Mbatha-Raw. “Miss Sloane” is rated R. Rating of 2 for fans.

 

Office Christmas Party—This is what happens when one person in a firm tries to impress a prospective client with the party-to-end-all-parties. Does anything go right?  The cast includes Jennifer Lawrence, Jason Bateman and T. J. Miller. “Office Christmas Party” is rated R. Rating of 2 for fans.

 

DECEMBER 16, 2016 thru JANUARY 01, 2017…

 

Jackie—Natalie Portman takes on the role of Jacqueline Kennedy. Bring hanky.

Sing—an animated film for the family about an animal vocal contest.

The Space Between Us—New date for opening and about a boy born on Mars.

Gold—Matthew McConaughey stars as a hustler who will do anything to win.

Why Him?—James Franco is the son-in-law no one wants.

Paterson—Adam Driver stars as a bus driver who is reticent and his wife who loves life.

A Monster Calls—new opening for this movie about a boy coping with grief who has a monster as a friend.

Live By Night—directed and stars Ben Affleck and concerns the life of gangsters.

Manchester By The Sea—new opening and stars Casey Affleck (Ben’s brother) who takes care of his nephew during a tragedy.

Hidden Figures—True story of African-American women mathematicians who helped put the astronauts in orbit.

20th Century Women—concerns three generations of woman coping with life. Stars Annette Bening.

Julieta—a Spanish language film of trying to find a lost daughter.

Collateral Beauty—Will Smith’s friends help him cope with tragedy.

Fences—Denzel Washington in a screen adaptation of the Broadway play.

The Founder—Michael Keaton plays Ray Kroc, who turned McDonalds’ into a fortune.

A Kind of Murder—Patrick Wilson stars in a tangled thriller.

Neruda—story of the South American poet.

Rogue One: A Star Wars Story—Felicity Jones stars in this saga that should take“Star Wars” fans over the holidays.

Assassins Creed—Michael Fassbinder in an adaptation of the video game.

Passengers—Jennifer Lawrence as a person who awakens during a space flight to another planet and has to help others.

 

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