December 24, 2015: Thursday ONAIRprep (Christmas Eve)


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The real miracle of Christmas; how about a Christmas tree with a straight trunk? Our tree is so crooked the only way to make it look straight is to tilt the living room.




“The word became flesh and dwelt among us.” –John 1:14


1 John 1:10 = If we claim we have not sinned, we make him out to be a liar and his word is not in us.





In those days Caesar Augustus issued a decree that a census should be taken of the entire Roman world. So Joseph went up from the town of Nazareth in Galilee to Judea, to Bethlehem the town of David, because he belonged to the house and line of David. He went there to register with Mary, who was pledged to be married to him and was expecting a child. — Luke 2:1 and 4-5


Thought: Isn’t it amazing at how many inconveniences in our lives the Lord uses to accomplish his will in us. Can you think of a worse time to have to go on a cross-country trip with their modes of travel than Joseph and Mary faced. Yet God turned it into the moment in which the angels found their tune and Satan met his match.


Prayer: Father, I thank you that behind history, and especially behind the part of history where I live, your hand is always working for my redemption and your glory. Give me faith to ride out the difficult times, knowing that you will use those difficulties to be the incubator of your next great work in me. In the name of Jesus, the Joy of angels, I pray. Amen.


The Thoughts and Prayers for Today’s Verse are written by Phil Ware. You can email questions or comments to




The chapter and verse corresponds to the month and the day!

1 Samuel 12:24 NIV = But be sure to fear the LORD and serve him faithfully with all your heart; consider what great things he has done for you.




(NOTE: Some holidays may be duplicated due to various calendars reporting conflicting dates)


Today is CHRISTMAS EVE. ***MARLAR: Just in case you forgot. That means you have only a few hours left to go Christmas shopping!!!


Today is NATIONAL EGGNOG DAY. ***MARLAR: Like anything else worthy of having in this world, eggnog is rare. In fact, it’s even rarer than diamonds.  You can’t find it any other time of year but now. So drink up! Who cares that it has 10,000 calories in every sip!


Tonight is REMEMBER TO READ THE INSTRUCTIONS FIRST NIGHT. ***MARLAR: My dad still has pieces left over from the Big Wheel I got in 1973.


Today is LAST MINUTE SHOPPERS’ DAY. ***MARLAR: I can tell you from personal experience that you can find just about any gift for any person on your list at 6:30pm Christmas Eve at your local 24-hour drug store. 7Eleven also works in a pinch.




(None Today)





A’Phabet Day (No “L” Day)


Christmas Pudding Day



Boxing Day

National Candy Cane Day

National Thank-You Note Day

National Whiner’s Day



Howdy Doody Day

Visit The Zoo Day



Holy Innocents Day

Endangered Species Act Day

National Chocolate Day

Pledge Of Allegiance Day



Tick Tock Day




Bacon Day

Falling Needles Day



First Nights

Leap Second Time Adjustment Day

Look On The Bride Side Day

Make Up Your Mind Day

New Year’s Eve

New Year’s Dishonor List

No Interruptions Day

Universal Hour of Peace Day

World Peace Meditation Day



Copyright Law Day

Commitment Day

Ellis Island Day

Euro Day

First Foot Day

Global Family Day

Mummer’s Parade

New Year’s Day

New Year’s Dishonor List Day

Polar Bear Plunge

Rose Bowl Game

Tournament of Roses Parade Day

World Peace Day

Z Day



55-MPH Speed Limit Day

Fruitcake Toss Day

Happy Mew Year For Cats Day

National Buffet Day

National Motivation and Inspiration Day

National Personal Trainer Awareness Day

National Science Fiction Day

Pet Travel and Safety Day



Drinking Straw Day

J.R.R. Tolkien Day

“Remember You Die” Day

National Chocolate Covered Cherry Day



Blue Monday (the most depression day of the year)

Dimpled Chad Day

Divorce Monday

National Weigh-In Day

Pop Music Chart Day

“Thank God It’s Monday” Day

Tom Thumb Day

Trivia Day

World Braille Day

World Hypnotism Day




1865: Six high-ranking Confederate officers, meeting in the cellar of a gutted mansion in Tennessee, founded the Ku Klux Klan. The first Grand Wizard was General Nathan B. Forrest.


1880: U.S. patent #253,011 was issued for the smoking cane, a walking cane with a handle that could be filled with tobacco and smoked.


1889: Daniel Stover and William Hance patented the Bicycle Brake Operated By Pedaling Backward.


1906: History’s first radio air personality, Canadian physicist Reginald Fessenden, transmitted the first radio broadcast of voices and music from a tower on the Massachusetts coast at Brant Rock. The program, which featured Reg accompanying on violin a female singer’s “O Holy Night,” was heard in Scotland, where another tower had been erected to receive it. Fessenden discovered the superheterodyne principle, the basis for all modern radio receivers. While descending, the overweight Fessenden got stuck in the tower, and co-workers had to strip him naked and grease him to get him down.


1931: New York City construction workers, at the future site of Rockefeller Center, dragged in a 12-foot Christmas tree and decorated it with tin cans and paper. The first official Rockefeller Center tree, with 700 blue and white lights, appeared two years later.


1955: The Lennon Sisters appeared as guests singers on The Lawrence Welk Show. Response was so overwhelming they became regulars for 13 years.


1818: At St. Nicholas Church in Oberndorf, Austria, 31-year-old teacher and organist Franz Gruber composed a melody on guitar for a poem written by 26-year-old Josef Mohr entitled “Stille Nacht.” That evening “Silent Night” was sung for the first time.


1957: A drunk 20-year-old singer named Merle Haggard broke into a tavern in Bakersfield, California. Unfortunately, the tavern was still open, and the burglar was quickly caught, convicted, and sent to prison. Seven years, four days later he released his first country hit, “Sing A Sad Song.”


1961: The first African song reached #1 in the U.S.: “The Lion Sleeps Tonight” by the Tokens. It had been recorded ten years earlier as “Winoweh” by the Weavers.


1968: The Apollo Eight astronauts, orbiting the moon, read passages from the Old Testament Book of Genesis during a Christmas Eve television broadcast.


1974: Carly Simon, James Taylor, Joni Mitchell, and Linda Ronstadt spent Christmas Eve caroling on the streets of Los Angeles.


1993: The Reverend Norman Vincent Peale, who had blended Christian and psychiatric principles into a message of “positive thinking,” died in Pawling, New York at age 95.


1999: A 5-year-old girl in North Wales turned orange after drinking too much Sunny Delight, a popular fruit drink containing beta carotene. Doctors said the drink was harmless and there was no risk of toxicity, but they suggested to the girl’s parents she should try a variety of drinks.


2000: The Miami Dolphins edged New England Patriots 27-24, but the teams left the field with three seconds left on the clock. Thirty-six minutes later, they were called back to the playing field to play the final 3 seconds. The final score did not change.


2003: Nine nations imposed bans on U.S. beef imports after the first documented U.S. case of mad cow disease was reported in Washington state.




1223: Francis of Assisi stages history’s first living nativity scene, complete with live animals, in a cave near Greccio, Italy


1491: Spanish ascetic and theologian Ignatius Loyola, founder of the Jesuits, is born in Guipuzcoa, Spain. His order quickly became a great power in Roman Catholicism and led the Counter-Reformation.


1784: The Methodist Episcopal Church is formally organized in Baltimore by Francis Asbury.


1818: Franz Gruber composes “Silent Night” in the St. Nicholas Church of Oberndorf, Austria.


1873: The temperance movement begins when Eliza Thompson leads 70 women to pray and sing in front of a saloon.




  • host (“American Idol”) Ryan Seacrest 40
  • actor (Oswald on “The Drew Carey Show”, Office Space, voice of Batman on “Batman: The Brave and the Bold” ) Diedrich Bader 48 (
  • actor (“Matlock”, “Walker: Texas Ranger”) Clarence Gilyard 59 (




(Music Artist Birthdays From

1924 : Lee Dorsey, known for his 1961 hit “Ya Ya.”

1944 : Mike Curb

1945 : Lemmy (Motorhead)

1946 : Jan Akkerman (Focus)

1957 : Ian Burden (The Human League)

1963 : Mary Ramsey (10,000 Maniacs)

1971 : Ricky Martin




How long has Santa Claus been around?

Far more than Christmas trees or candy canes, Santa Claus sparks controversy among Christians. Many believers reject the idea of the kindly old gentleman in the bright red suit because it takes away the primary focus of Christmas: celebrating the birth of Jesus Christ our Savior. Certainly when the focus of Christmas becomes children’s expectations of gift receiving, using St. Nicholas as the agent of distribution, we have missed the true meaning of Christmas. Unfortunately, the original Nicholas and his godly example is lost in the controversy. St. Nicholas was a Christian priest who lived in Myra, in Asia Minor (modern Turkey), from 280-343 AD. He became Bishop of Myra, and was known for his generosity. He did not like to be seen giving gifts, so the children were told to go to sleep quickly or he would not come. He also is known for giving gifts of gold to a poor man’s three daughters, placing the bags of gold inside their stockings, which the young ladies had left by the fire to dry. The name “Santa Claus” was derived from the Dutch “Sinter Klaus” pronunciation of St. Nicholas. When Dutch settlers landed in New Amsterdam (now New York), their “Sinter Klaus” celebration in December came with them. Interestingly, in many other European countries, and Latin America, Santa Claus is not even the deliverer of gifts to the children. Other figures fill the role. Nevertheless, the original (the REAL) St. Nicholas did demonstrate, “it is more blessed to give than to receive” (Acts 20:35).




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Need a little help with the Christmas atmosphere at your holiday gatherings. Don’t forget Paul Baloche’s fireplace video. The video features a flickering fire with Paul’s new Christmas CD Christmas Worship, Volume 2 playing in the background. The video gives nearly one hour of Christmas praise and worship music.


Just in time for the holiday, Tenth Avenue North has re-released 4 minutes and 37 seconds of Christmas joy. Check out their version of Deck the Halls recorded several years ago.


Matt Maher was recently having some fun. He released his best Elvis Presley Impression of Blue Christmas and even gives you a taste of how it compares to Elvis himself.


Matt Maher was recently having some fun. He released his best Elvis Presley Impression of Blue Christmas and even gives you a taste of how it compares to Elvis himself.


A little de ju vu for Aaron Shust over the weekend. He spent Sunday afternoon chilling in the house where he and his wife Sarah brought home their two oldest boys and spent six years of their life. Aaron says he still owns the house and it works out great when you happen to love your tenants.


Flu going around your house? Then you might be able to relate to the Christmas wish of Mercyme guitarist Mike Scheuchzer. He tweeted his picture looking totally worn out along with the words: It’d be awesome if no one else would throw up tonight. Mike said two of their four kids had been up, keeping he and his wife up half of the night.


Tenth Avenue North’s Ruben Juarez shared this week on twitter: What I’ve learned in 2015: the key to success is to eat breakfast, water your plants, and ride jet skis all day.




X-ray vision? New technology making it a reality for $300    photo
CAMBRIDGE, Mass. (AP) — X-ray vision, a comic book fantasy for decades, is becoming a reality in a lab at MIT. A group of researchers led by Massachusetts Institute of Technology professor Dina Katabi has developed software that uses variations in radio signals to recognize human silhouettes…


Venomous sea snake washes onto Southern California shore    photo
HUNTINGTON BEACH, Calif. (AP) — A dead yellow-bellied sea snake from southern Mexico has been discovered on Bolsa Chica beach, only the third one ever reported in California. Natural History Museum snake curator Greg Pauly says it’s only the seventh or eighth one ever seen north of Baja…
School makes teacher remove pink Hello Kitty Christmas tree
BANGOR, Maine (AP) — A Maine high school teacher is complaining that she was forced to remove a small pink Christmas tree festooned with the character Hello Kitty from her classroom. Catherine Gordon is a math teacher at Bangor High School. She wrote on her Facebook page that “everything…
‘Star Wars’ fan in NY legally changes name to Darth Vader
CANANDAIGUA, N.Y. (AP) — Darth Vader is a tattooed 43-year-old former Marine who owns a gym and is raising funds online for a bone marrow transplant. HASH(0x13e0be0) The former Eric Welch, of Canandaigua (kan-un-DAY’-gwuh), says he grew up in foster homes and didn’t have strong family ties to…
No dog-eat-dog politics: Siberian city backs cat for mayor    photo
BARNAUL, Russia (AP) — Tired of the dog-eat-dog politics in their Russian city, the residents of Barnaul say they want a cat to be their next mayor. The Siberian city of 650,000 people, which lies 2,900 kilometers (1,800 miles) east of Moscow, is to get a new mayor next week when a commission…
New 911 dispatcher helps couple deliver baby on Utah highway
SALT LAKE CITY (AP) — A Utah couple welcomed their fourth child into the world on the side of Interstate 15, coached through delivery problems by a 911 operator. HASH(0x141df70) “I mean, we joke, ‘Oh you’re going to get a pregnancy call,'” Kalaher said, “and then it actually happens. You…
Fans of honest Colorado busboy raise over $3,800 for him
GRAND JUNCTION, Colo. (AP) — A struggling Colorado busboy who returned $3,000 in cash that he found on the floor is getting rewarded with a big tip. As of Monday, people impressed with Johnny Duckworth’s honesty have raised more than $3,800 through He found the cash Tuesday at…
Error coin, a dime struck onto a nail, is headed to auction    photo
NEW YORK (AP) — Is it a dime? Or is it a nail? In probably one of the oddest items to come to the world of coin collecting, Dallas-based Heritage Auctions has announced the sale of a Roosevelt dime that was accidentally (or some say deliberately) struck onto a zinc nail. Yes, that piece of…
China names and shames 5 tourists over bad behavior
BEIJING (AP) — China’s tourism authority named and shamed another five tourists for bad behavior and says it is working with airlines on a possible flying ban. Those added to the list of “uncivilized behavior” by tourists include two women and a man who brawled after one woman’s seat was…
Lip balm containing pot ingredient thrown out at air base
ANCHORAGE, Alaska (AP) — Officials say they had to discard hundreds of tubes of lip balm that were distributed at Joint Base Elmendorf-Richards after they were found to contain trace amounts of THC, an active ingredient in marijuana. The base’s Sexual Assault Prevention and Response Office…
California server finds $32,000 at eatery, returns to owner
FRESNO, Calif. (AP) — Police in California say a waiter returned $32,000 in cash after some diners accidentally left it behind. HASH(0x13eb500) When the waiter found the money he told his boss, who called police. The money was ultimately returned to the family. The server was not identified….




Study: Some cardiac arrest victims ignore warning symptoms    photo
WASHINGTON (AP) — Sudden cardiac arrest may not always be so sudden: New research suggests a lot of people may ignore potentially life-saving warning signs hours, days, even a few weeks before they collapse. Cardiac arrest claims about 350,000 U.S. lives a year. It’s not a heart attack, but…


New advice on who qualifies for cholesterol-lowering statins
WASHINGTON (AP) — Considering a cholesterol-lowering statin to prevent a heart attack? Deciding who’s a good candidate requires calculating more than a simple cholesterol level. A government task force says the popular medications will be of most benefit to some people ages 40 to 75 whose…
In budget deal, health law foes took a different path    photo
WASHINGTON (AP) — Republican foes of President Barack Obama’s health care law may be able to get more by chipping away at it than trying to take the whole thing down at once. That’s one lesson of the budget deal passed by Congress and signed by the president last week. It delayed a widely…
FDA eases restrictions on blood donations from gay men    photo
WASHINGTON (AP) — The nation’s three-decade-old ban on blood donations from gay and bisexual men was formally lifted Monday, but major restrictions will continue to limit who can give blood. The Food and Drug Administration said it is replacing the lifetime ban with a new policy barring…
New rules bringing kidneys to hardest-to-transplant patients    photo
WASHINGTON (AP) — A shake-up of the nation’s kidney transplant system means more organs are getting to patients once thought nearly impossible to match, according to early tracking of the new rules. It’s been a year since the United Network for Organ Sharing changed rules for the transplant…
Beijing’s 2nd smog red alert of the month goes into effect    photo
BEIJING (AP) — Beijing was enveloped in eye-watering, throat-irritating smog on Saturday as the second red alert of the month went into effect in the Chinese capital, forcing many cars off the roads and restricting factory production. A wave of smog settled over the notoriously polluted city…
San Francisco hospital suspends kidney donations after death
SAN FRANCISCO (AP) — One of the nation’s most prominent medical centers has voluntarily suspended its living donor program for kidney transplants after a living donor died last month. The donor had provided a kidney to a recipient at University of California San Francisco Medical center in…
Flu season off to slower start this year; might be milder    photo
NEW YORK (AP) — This year’s flu season seems like old times. There’s not much flu going around so far — unlike the last three seasons when doctors’ offices were filled with patients before Christmas and illnesses peaked by late December. “It really is off to sort of a slow start”…
Report: Drug overdose deaths surged in 14 states last year
NEW YORK (AP) — Drug overdose deaths surged in 14 states last year, pushing the nation to a record count, according to a government report released Friday. Rates went up in Alabama, Georgia, Illinois, Indiana, Maine, Maryland, Massachusetts, Michigan, New Hampshire, New Mexico, North Dakota,…
FDA proposes ban on indoor tanning for minors    photo
WASHINGTON (AP) — Anyone under the age of 18 would be barred from using indoor tanning equipment, under a federal proposal to help reduce skin cancer linked to the devices. The Food and Drug Administration also wants to require tanning bed users to sign consent forms acknowledging the risks…
Painkiller politics: Effort to curb prescribing under fire    photo
WASHINGTON (AP) — A bold federal effort to curb prescribing of painkillers may be faltering amid stiff resistance from drugmakers, industry-funded groups and, now, even other public health officials. The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention was on track to finalize new prescribing…




(No news on the weekends. Audio clips are only valid for a few days before being removed from our servers.)




















OPEN: And now,, (Show Name), and (Station Call Letters) bring you As the Jungle Turns! Last time, Marvy Snuffelson was on Razzleflabbin Island, and he suggested that Karl get his best friend Olaf some race cars for his toy race track. Now Marvy is with Olaf looking for the perfect gift for Karl – bicycle tires! Unfortunately, tires don’t come cheap – and Olaf has no money.


CLOSE: So now there are racing cars with no track to race them on… and bicycle tires with no bike on which to attach them! What kind of Christmas IS this? Find out next time… As the Jungle Turns!






OPEN: And now,, (Show Name), and (Station Call Letters) bring you As the Jungle Turns! Last time, the jungle animals’ new king, Louis the little lion, decided he didn’t want to play badminton, build forts, or go swimming. And since he’s now the king, he can decide anything he likes… so he’s decided to pounce on dandelions. And since they’re following him, all the other animals are also pouncing…


CLOSE: Now what is Louis going to do? He’s the king – he has to decide something! Find out next time, As the Jungle Turns!


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Imagine your grandmother telling you to go out and buy your own present for Christmas – and then not giving you any money to do so!

A kindly 90-year-old grandmother found buying presents for her family and friends a bit much one Christmas, so she wrote out checks for all of them to put in her Christmas cards. Inside the card, she wrote, “Buy your own present” after her name on them then sent them off. After the Christmas festivities were over, she found the checks in her desk! Everyone had gotten a Christmas card from her with “Buy your own present” written inside, but without the checks!





  1. “I Luv Bethlehem” bumper sticker.
  2. Subscription to “Better Homes and Stables”.
  3. Rain Check at the Bethlehem Holiday Inn.
  4. A tube of “Deep Heat”(from the shepherds who were “sore afraid”).
  5. Lifetime membership to the “Good Shepherd Society”
  6. McNally’s Guide to Egypt.
  7. Movie passes to “Star Trek: Journey to THE King.”
  8. Book: “All You Wanted to Know About Being Human But Were Afraid To Ask!”
  9. A T-Shirt (infant size) with “My Dad’s Out of This World!”, written on it.
  10. SON glasses.




Don’t do a good deed for someone else in Atlanta, Georgia – it might get you tossed in jail!


FILE #1: Atlanta’s Don Pirone was recently handcuffed and arrested by transit cops. Pirone says another subway rider was having trouble getting the change machine to work at a station on November 30. The machine having failed, the man asked for his extra token and then paid Don $1.75 for the token’s face value. That’s when undercover officers swooped in and busted Pirone. Apparently having jailed all the muggers, thugs and graffiti artists on the trains, the Fulton County Solicitor’s Office is pressing charges and a judge ordered the case to trial. For being a good Samaritan, Pirone could face up to a year in jail.


FILE #2: A ham radio operator in Germany overheard a policeman calling for help after his car got stuck in the mud nearby, so he went to help. After pulling the officer’s vehicle out, the man was charged with illegally listening to police transmissions and given a suspended fine.


FILE #3: From Bedford, Indiana comes the story of a criminal who broke into a home and decided to take a nice long shower. A builder working on the house heard the sound of the shower and walked into the bathroom to ask our cleansing criminal what he was doing. The reply was that this was his grandmother’s house and that he was there visiting. Knowing no one was supposed to be there, the builder gathered up the clothes of our showering subject and called the cops while he was still lathered up. Unfortunately before the cops arrived the wet weasel toweled off and dashed out the back door. Police are now looking for an extremely clean but extremely unclothed criminal.


STRANGE LAW: In Idaho it’s against the law to fish while on a giraffe’s back.




How sad is it when even Santa suffers from a brain on drugs? Well, not the REAL Santa of course…

An armed Santa robbed a drug store in Virginia of the painkiller OxyContin (also known as “hillbilly heroin”).  “An individual dressed as Santa . . . beard, hat, the whole works just walked to the back of the store to the pharmacist, displayed his weapon and asked for the OxyContin,” said Chesterfield County police Captain Mike Spraker. “Once he got it, he ran from the store. We had K-9 [a trail-sniffing dog and police officer trainer] right in the area, and they were there within minutes.” However, the trail ended at a nearby apartment complex’s parking lot. Police feel that the man got into a car and drove off. ***MARLAR: That’s right kiddies… he got into a car, not a sleigh. So it wasn’t the real Santa. Not to worry.




Do you open your Christmas gifts on Christmas Eve, or Christmas Day?




QUESTION: For what reason did the rich young ruler come to Christ?
ANSWER: For eternal life (Matthew 19:16)




QUESTION: What does the name Bethlehem mean?

ANSWER: House of bread (The Bible refers to Jesus as “the Bread of Life.”).




Pay attention! If our next player doesn’t answer all ten T/F questions correctly we start all over from question #1! First person to answer question #10 correctly is our winner!


  1. A magic spell from an Ice Princess brought Frosty the Snowman to life. (False – it was magician’s top hat)


  1. In the Thomas Nast cartoon that first depicted Santa Claus with a sleigh and reindeer, he was delivering Christmas gifts to Native American children. (False – Santa was delivering gifts to soldiers fighting in the U.S. Civil War. The cartoon, entitled “Santa Claus in Camp,” appeared in Harper’s Weekly on January 3, 1863.)


  1. There is such a place as Santa Claus, Arizona. (True. There’s also a Santa Claus, Indiana; a Noel, Missouri, and towns named Christmas in both Arizona and Florida.)


  1. “O, Come All Ye Faithful” is a Christmas carol but “Deck the Halls” is not. (True – a true Christmas carol has to have a religious theme.)


  1. The state songs of Maryland is to the tune of “Oh Christmas Tree.” (True – same goes for Michigan, although the tune is officially that of “O Tannenbaum”)


  1. The song “Blue Christmas” was introduced in the 1942 movie “Holiday Inn”. (False – that would be “White Christmas!” And it was almost cut out of the final version of the movie! Bing Crosby’s “White Christmas” — one of the most popular songs of all time. The movie “White Christmas”, starring Crosby and Danny Kaye, didn’t debut until 1954. It was the first movie to be made in Vista Vision, a deep-focus process.)


  1. 12-year-old Jimmy Boyd is famous for singing the Christmas song, “All I want for Christmas is My Two Front Teeth.” (False – he sang “I saw Momy Kissing Santa Claus.” The song hit the top of the pop charts.)


  1. Santa Claus used to travel by flying cow. (False.)


  1. Santa didn’t get a sleight until 1822. (True. He wasn’t fat before then either. Originally Santa Claus was not regarded as the rotund gift bearer in an airborne sled that we all know today. It was Clement Clark Moore’s 1822 poem that first promoted this image.)


10.America has an “official” Christmas tree. (True. America’s official national Christmas tree is located in King’s Canyon National Park in California. The tree, a giant sequoia called the “General Grant Tree,” is over 300 feet high. It was made the official Christmas tree in 1925.)





You have to match the blank in the tabloid headline with the word or phrase that has been removed!


HOUSTON –  NASA says that next year the sun will awaken and destroy all satellites

NASA recently published a frightening report.   According to NASA astronomers, in the next 12 months, after years of hibernation, the Sun will wake up and Earth will suffer some deadly consequences, including global failure all satellite communications.

In his report, Defense Secretary Liam Fox noted that the perfect electromagnetic storm will lead to a technogenic disaster on Earth. He cited recent statistics which indicate that the surface temperature of hot stars is rapidly increasing.

Solar storms will generate a great level of radiation that will affect the Earth’s magnetic field. This could prove to be a collapse for the humanity – trains and planes will stop, GPS-navigation will be affected, mobile and radio networks will disappear.





A child in Sunday School class, when asked to draw a picture of the Holy Family, produced a drawing in which Mary and the baby sat on a recognizably donkeyish animal, led by Joseph. On the ground nearby was a small black blob. “What is that?” asked the teacher.

“The flea,” answered the young artist.

“What flea, dear?” asked the puzzled teacher.

“The one the angel told Joseph to take”.

Eventually, puzzled but not liking to challenge an imaginative child, the teacher checked out her Bible. And there it was: Matthew 2:13 “… the angel of the Lord saying, Arise, and take the young child and his mother, and flee … into Egypt …”




I have a reputation for not being a fantastic cook. One evening I worked particularly hard on a new recipe and, once again, it didn’t turn out as well as I’d hoped. 

My son, always sweet and conscious of my feelings, chose his words carefully after the meal. “Mom,” he said, “that dinner was so good I thought someone else made it.”




The Manhattan Commuter train was packed. Suddenly there was a jingle on the floor. Most necks were craned. One elderly gentleman, however, bent down and picked something up. He then asked, “Did anyone drop a half dollar?”

“I did,” answered three men at once.

“Well,” said the elderly gent with a smile, “here’s a dime of it.”




Yet another new study shows that the combination of fat and vitamin C in the stomach may actually promote, rather than prevent, the formation of kinds of chemicals that cause cancer.  ***MARLAR: So now I have to avoid orange juice when ordering my sausage McMuffin?


Britain’s National Sizing Survey found that women’s waists are disappearing. The hourglass figure is being replaced by the straight up-and-down Bridget Jones body type. Due to fast food and sedentary lifestyles, British women’s waistlines have expanded by more than six inches in the past 50 years, while the average bust and hips have grown by just one inch. The researchers believe men have ballooned just as much, but lack data on it.   ***MARLAR: Because men haven’t noticed.





The nuclear Aircraft Carrier, U.S.S. Harry S. Truman (CVN 75), and the ships in her Battle Group, got underway from Norfolk, Virginia last week for an extended deployment. Just as the lines were cast off, this announcement was made throughout the ship and topside on the ships intercom (1mc): “Peace on Earth to men of good will – All others, Stand By.”




You’ve heard of the gift that keeps on giving… well two men have taken that concept to a whole new level with a twist… it’s the gift that keeps getting given!

Roy Collette and his brother-in-law have been exchanging the same pair of pants as a Christmas present for 11 years -and each time the package gets harder to open. This year the pants came wrapped in a car mashed into a 3-foot cube. The trousers are in the glove compartment of a 1974 Gremlin. Now Collette’s plotting his revenge–if he can get them out.

It all started when Collette received a pair of moleskin trousers from his brother-in-law, Larry Kunkel of Bensenville, Ill. Kunkel’s mother had given her son the britches when he was a college student. He wore them a few times, but they froze stiff in cold weather and he didn’t like them.

So he gave them to Collette. Collette, who called the moleskins “miserable”, wore them three times, then wrapped them up and gave them back to Kunkel for Christmas the next year.

The friendly exchange continued routinely until Collette twisted the pants tightly, stuffed them into a 3-foot-long, 1-inch wide tube and gave them back to Kunkel.

The next Christmas, Kunkel compressed the pants into a 7-inch square, wrapped them with wire and gave the “bale” to Collette. Not to be outdone, the next year Collette put the pants into a 2-foot-square crate filled with stones, nailed it shut, banded it with steel and gave the trusty trousers back to Kunkel. The brothers agreed to end the caper if the trousers were damaged. But they were as careful as they were clever.

Kunkel had the pants mounted inside an insulated window that had a 20-year guarantee and shipped them off to Collette. Collette broke the glass, recovered the trousers, stuffed them into a 5-inch coffee can and soldered it shut. The can was put in a 5-gallon container filled with concrete and reinforcing rods and given to Kunkel the following Christmas.

Two years ago, Kunkel installed the pants in a 225-pound homemade steel ashtray made from 8-inch steel casings and etched Collette’s name on the side. Collette had trouble retrieving the treasured trousers, but succeeded without burning them with a cutting torch.

Last Christmas, Collette found a 600-pound safe and hauled it to Viracon Inc. in Owatonna, where the shipping department decorated it with red and green stripes, put the pants inside and welded the safe shut. The safe was then shipped to Kunkel, who is the plant manager for Viracon’s outlet in Bensenville.

Last we heard, the pants were trucked to Owatonna, 55 miles south of Minneapolis, in a drab green, 3-foot cube that once was a car with 95,000 miles on it. A note attached to the 2,000-pound scrunched car advised Collette that the pants were inside the glove compartment. “This will take some planning,” Collette said. “I will definitely get them out. I’m confident.” He then added, “Wait until next year… “I’m on the offensive again.”





The story goes that some time ago, a man punished his 3-year-old daughter for wasting a roll of gold wrapping paper. Money was tight and he became infuriated when the child tried to decorate a box to put under the Christmas tree.

Nevertheless, the little girl brought the gift to her father the next morning and said, “This is for you, Daddy.” He was embarrassed by his earlier overreaction, but his anger flared again when he found the box was empty.

He yelled at her, “Don’t you know when you give someone a present, there’s supposed to be something inside it?”

The little girl looked up at him with tears in her eyes and said, “Oh, Daddy, it’s not empty, I blew kisses into the box. All for you, Daddy.”

The father was crushed. He put his arms around his little girl, and he begged for her forgiveness.

It is told that the man kept that gold box by his bed for years and whenever he was discouraged, he would take out an imaginary kiss and remember the love of the child who had put it there.





From my place in the choir loft, I have a good view of the audience during our church’s annual Festival of Lights Christmas program. Even though I’m supposed to be looking at the director, I like to sneak a peek every now and then to see how the audience is responding. This is especially fun near the end of the concert when we’re singing Handel’s magnificent “Hallelujah Chorus.”

When we get to the great crescendo, a technician hits a switch and dozens of high-powered lights arranged in the shape of a huge cross suddenly flood the audience with brilliant light. People gasp, their mouths drop open, and all eyes remain fixed on the illuminated cross as the choir sings, “Hallelujah! Hallelujah! Hallelujah!”

One evening, my eyes locked on the face of a little girl who was being held by her father. When the dazzling lights came on, her eyes got big, and her mouth took on the shape of a large Cheerio. For the entire time the lights shone, her lips remained frozen in a big, silent O. What a perfect picture of Christmas! A child amazed by the power of light.

Why does darkness get more attention than light? Rage, racism, materialism, selfishness, greed, immorality, lying– you name it, we’ve got it. And the worse it is, the more it fascinates us, commanding our attention until it’s solved, suppressed, or superseded by the next tragedy.

But the great surprise of Christmas is a single act of love that engulfs us in light so bright and so surprising that the only response is a breathless, silent Oh!

On one of the darkest days of the year in the Northern Hemisphere, we celebrate the coming of the brightest light that ever shone. Jesus said, “I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life” (John 8:12). The apostle Paul added, “You were once darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Live as children of light” (Ephesians 5:8).

What makes light so amazing is that it doesn’t have to “do” anything to accomplish its purpose. It just has to exist. Wherever light is, darkness disappears and people are able to see. Why is it, I wonder, that there is so little light to amaze us? Or a better question, “Why is there not enough light in my life to amaze anyone?”

My prayer this Christmas is that from now on people will be startled by the brightness of my life. If you will join me in this prayer, the results could be very cool to watch! — JAL




By Candy Chand
My son, Nicholas, was in kindergarten that year. It was an exciting season for a six year old. For weeks, he’d been memorizing songs for his school’s “Winter Pageant.”

The morning of the dress rehearsal, I filed in 10 minutes early, found a spot on the cafeteria floor and sat down. Around the room, I saw several other parents quietly scampering to their seats. As I waited, the students were led into the room. Each class, accompanied by their teacher, sat cross-legged on the floor. Then, each group, one by one, rose to perform their song. Because the public school system had long stopped referring to the holiday as “Christmas”, I didn’t expect anything other than fun, commercial entertainment – songs of reindeer, Santa Claus, snowflakes and good cheer. So, when my son’s class rose to sing, “Christmas Love”, I was slightly taken aback by its bold title.
Nicholas was aglow, as were all of his classmates, adorned in fuzzy mittens, red sweaters, and bright snowcaps upon their heads.  Those in the front row – center stage – held up large letters, one by one, to spell out the title of the song.
As the class would sing “C is for Christmas”, a child would hold up the letter C. Then, “H is for Happy”, and on and on, until each child holding up his portion had presented the complete message, “Christmas Love”.
The performance was going smoothly, until suddenly, we noticed her – a small, quiet, girl in the front row holding the letter “M” upside down – totally unaware her letter “M” appeared as a “W”.
The audience of 1st through 6th graders snickered at this little one’s mistake. But she had no idea they were laughing at her, so she stood tall, proudly holding her “W”. Although many teachers tried to shush the children, the laughter continued until the last letter was raised, and we all saw it together. A hush came over the audience and eyes

began to widen. In that instant, we understood – the reason we were there, why we celebrated the holiday in the first place, why even in the chaos, there was a purpose for our festivities.
For when the last letter was held high, the message read loud and clear: CHRIST WAS LOVE.
And, I believe, He still is.




TO GIVE OR NOT TO GIVE (From Men’s Health magazine)

  • Postman: can’t accept gifts worth more than $20, so get him a couple of movie passes or a restaurant gift certificate.
  • Trashman: Five bucks each in a nice card.
  • Paper Carrier: $5 minus the cards.
  • Secretary: Work related. Fancy pen, classy desk clock or a nice organizer.
  • Co-Workers: Gift certificates, picture frames, a pretty candle.
  • Boss: Go in with everybody else for a group gift. Anything else is just schmoozing.





Personally adjustable face-lifts? They could be on the way!

If you think plastic surgery is getting ridiculous now, just wait a few years. A plastic surgeon was on TV saying 50 years from now, people will have tiny ADJUSTABLE implants all over their faces, enabling them to totally change their appearance in an instant. You wake up deciding you’d like bigger lips and higher cheekbones today, no problem! Simply use a hand-held facial adjustment device to re-configure your face. ***MARLAR: That’s not good for radio – most of us are here BECAUSE of our faces. Maybe radio won’t be around in fifty years… because no one will have a face for it.





1) No matter how hard you try, you can’t baptize cats.

2) When your Mom is mad at your Dad, don’t let her brush your hair.

3) If your sister hits you, don’t hit her back. They always catch the second person.

4) Never ask your 3-year old brother to hold a tomato.

5) You can’t trust dogs to watch your food.

6) Don’t sneeze when someone is cutting your hair.

7) Never hold a Dust-Buster and a cat at the same time.

8) You can’t hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.

9) Don’t wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts.

10) The best place to be when you’re sad is Grandpa’s lap.





We’ve all seen the cat zapped by Christmas Lights in “Christmas: Vacation.” In the spirit of the season, California veterinarians remind pet owners to be extra cautious so the holidays don’t send their pooch or kitty to the animal hospital’s emergency room… or up in smoke. To ensure your pet’s holidays are safe and carefree, the CVMA offers a few safety tips to keep in mind:

  1. Keep all sweets away from pets. Chocolate, in particular, contains theobromine, a caffeine-like ingredient that can be potentially lethal to dogs. Gobbling up too much chocolate can result in vomiting, diarrhea, seizures, and in severe cases, death. Do not place gifts of chocolate under your tree or on a tabletop where an inquisitive pooch might find them enticing.
  2. Keep wrapped candy away from pets. Small candies can cause choking, and the crinkly cellophane or aluminum wrappers can lead to stomach obstructions, if swallowed.
  3. Avoid tying yarn or ribbon around your pet’s neck. If you want to dress him/her up for the holidays, buy a festive, seasonal collar.
  4. Holiday plants — particularly poinsettias, mistletoe, holly, and amaryllis — can be toxic to pets. Keep them out of your dog or cat’s reach.
  5. Feed your pet nutritious snacks rather than “treating” them to high-calorie holiday foods. Our pets can put on extra pounds as quickly as we do during the holidays! Also, keep plenty of fresh water available for drinking. Pets should not be allowed to drink Christmas tree water, as it may contain pesticides or bacteria from the tree.
  6. Keep a careful eye on holiday decorations. All the extra cords for lighting can be tempting targets for chewing by pets. If possible, hide or tape them to the floor to prevent shocks or electrocution. Styrofoam decorations that look like candy or berries can be appealing to puppies, but can cause distressing consequences if chewed and swallowed.
  7. Christmas trees can become climbing posts, particularly for new kittens. Be sure your tree is secure and stable; consider anchoring it to the wall with fishing line, if necessary. To avoid pets shattering glass ornaments, hang breakable ornaments higher up on the tree. Loose tinsel is especially dangerous for cats, who consider it a play toy, but swallowing the metallic string can cause severe intestinal distress and damage.
  8. If you’re traveling for the holidays, bring along your pet’s favorite blanket, toy, and foods so he/she feels as comfortable as possible. Bring your veterinarian’s phone number with you, in case of an emergency.




After a quarter of a century on the job, the Hubble Space Telescope has returned some of the most extraordinary cosmic images ever captured. Now Time is out with the 50 Best Images Taken by Hubble. Some of Hubble’s images have become cultural icons. Some have thrilled only scientists. Hubble still has close to a decade of life left before the metal eyelid closes forever.


Does it feel like America is losing God more and more each day?  This might give you some hope then.  America is launching new Protestant churches faster than it loses old ones, attracting many people who previously didn’t attend anywhere. According to a new LifeWay Research studies show, more than 4,000 new churches opened their doors in 2014, outpacing the 3,700 that closed. The study also found that, on average, 42 percent of those worshipping at churches launched since 2008 previously never attended church or hadn’t attended in many years.


Even as the digital revolution sweeps over our lives, many families are rediscovering the simple joys of traditional board games. According to Focus on the Families Thriving Family Magazine, tabletop games encourage family interaction and can teach kids valuable life skills, such as how to follow rules, take turns and get along with others. While classics like Monopoly and Uno are still popular today, families have plenty of new choices to liven up their game nights. To help you find some of these games, Thriving Family has put together several new game reviews.


One man’s discovery while cleaning out his garage gives a whole new meaning to the “something old” portion of the well-known bridal adage. According to Yahoo news, When Ronald Warninger, of Yakima, Washington, was cleaning out his garage in late November, he came across his grandparents’ 100-year-old wedding cake, safely preserved in an old hatbox, and tucked inside a big kettle-like canning pot. Even though it had been in and out of freezers and had lived through a couple world wars, Warninger says the cake was in perfect shape.




The boss gave me my Christmas bonus—but for some reason I’m a little leery about a canned ham that comes with cooking instructions in Cambodian. Seriously though… Merry Christmas, and may we not go so overboard on the festivity that we forget about the Nativity. –HaLife




(Updated as it comes available. The Way WE Work is written by Mark Elfstrand from in Chicago.)


Better Check Your List Twice


What is the true meaning of Christmas? It must have a lot to do with Santa Claus. Let’s check the lyrics of some of our Christmas favorites! That will help us tell the story.

We begin with, “All I Want for Christmas is My Two Front Teeth.” This one gets us back to the basics. No need for all those toys and goodies from Santa. Just… two teeth. And why? So this sweet child can wish everyone a Merry Christmas. Oh…and he’ll be able to say, “Sister Susie sitting on a thistle!” Let’s all try that. Thank goodness for modest requests.

“Santa Baby,” the Santa song for adults, has been around since 1953! Eartha Kitt made it a hit. This girl really has her list working. A sable under the tree, a ’54 convertible, a yacht, and the deed to a platinum mine! Touching. And one can easily tell she’s been missing out on a lot of fun dates just trying to be good enough to get stuff. Wonder if St. Nicholas likes the term, Santa Baby? Well, maybe from Mrs. Claus.

In the classic, “Jolly Old St. Nicholas,” again we’re back to basics. “Johnny wants a pair of skates, Susie wants a sled. Nellie wants a picture book, yellow, blue and red.” The song’s conclusion leaves a mature thought: “Choose for me, dear Santa Claus, what you think is best.” This chap might be surprised by what St. Nick considered important.

My final Santa selection is the famous, “Santa Claus is Coming to Town.” This one deserves a close theological review. As we would learn here, Santa is BIG on performance.

We are told not to pout or cry with Santa coming to town. He’s got some kind of list that he apparently checks twice to determine if we’ve been naughty or nice. And since he’s aware of our sleeping habits and our secret lives, we’d better watch out! Kids who do behave will have a jubilee building some kind of toyland “all around the Christmas tree.” Pretty exciting stuff.

Apart from Santa songs, there is a plethora of other meaningless rhymes set to music that distracts us from the idea that a Savior for the world was once born. Of course, the Jesus of whom we are told never asked us to celebrate His birthday. We decided to do that.

And then along comes old St. Nick. Or more properly said, Saint Nicholas. William Bennett gave us a beautiful history of this legendary figure in his 2009 book, The True Saint Nicholas: Why He Matters to Christmas. The real figure was a Greek bishop. History says he lived from 270 to 346 AD. This is recommended reading for all.

A shorter course on the jolly soul can be found at a St. Nicholas center website. Here we learn what many hold to be true about why we consider him so “saintly.” Check this: “His wealthy parents, who raised him to be a devout Christian, died in an epidemic while Nicholas was still young. Obeying Jesus’s words to “sell what you own and give the money to the poor,” Nicholas used his whole inheritance to assist the needy, the sick, and the suffering. He dedicated his life to serving God and was made Bishop of Myra while still a young man. Bishop Nicholas became known throughout the land for his generosity to those in need, his love for children, and his concern for sailors and ships.”

Checking closely on these details of St.Nick’s life, we find no evidence of keeping lists. Or checking them twice. And I hope I don’t disappoint anyone by saying there also appears to be a lack of evidence that he owned reindeer. Or moved north from Greece or Turkey. I mean, why would you?

We are a performance driven people. We prefer to check off lists of things we believe we’ve done right. In Jesus’s time, a very rich young man approached Jesus and said, “Good Teacher, what shall I do to inherit eternal life?” And Jesus said to him, “You know the commandments, ‘Do not murder, Do not commit adultery, Do not steal, Do not bear false witness, Do not defraud, Honor your father and mother.’” (And that’s only a partial list of do-goods.)

So the rich guy says, “Teacher, I have kept all these things from my youth up.” Looking at him, Jesus felt a love for him and said to him, “One thing you lack: go and sell all you possess and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven; and come, follow Me.” But at these words he was saddened, and he went away grieving, for he was one who owned much property.” (Mark 10:17-22)

Here’s the thing. St. Nicholas got it. The reason Santa can belly laugh in joy with “Ho, Ho, Ho!” is because the weight of materialism and sinless performance is gone. And that’s because of Jesus.

One of the greatest gifts we can give our children is teaching Godly contentment. (1 Timothy 6:6-10). Another is the gift of sharing. And most importantly, is to pass along the gift of good news that leads to eternal life.

What’s on your list to become right with God? There should only be one thing. It begins with “J.”

Merry Christmas.

That’s The Way WE Work. Click on the link to the right to connect via Facebook.
Catch “Let’s Talk with Mark Elfstrand” weekday afternoons from 4-6pm on AM 1160 Hope for Your Life. To listen to the live broadcast or a podcast of previous shows click here.




Marie Asner has been reviewing films for over 30 years. Her outlets include radio, print and Internet. For more in-depth movie reviews of the following films, visit Ratings from 1 (Low) to 5 (High).


DECEMBER 18, 2015…


Star Wars: The Force Awakens—Fans have waited so long and it is here.  Your favorites are in the film including Harrison Ford and Carrie Fisher, and new actors such as Adam Driver, Gwendoline Christie and Daisy Ridley.  The storm troopers don’t always do what they are told (rebellion in the ranks?) and the bad guys are the First Order. It is war in the galaxy far, far away, so buckle on your light saber and away we go.  “Star Wars: The Force Awakens” is rated PG 13. Rating of 4 for fans and that includes just about everyone.  Enjoy.


Sisters—Amy Poehler and Tina Fey star as just that…two sisters…who don’t always get along. They decide they want to have the rowdiest party ever.  I mean ever.  Of course, this means the audience envies what they do because if you tried it, the police would be there.  “Sisters” is rated R. No rating.


Son Of Saul (opening in select cities)—This is a film about the Holocaust and a man who works in a crematorium and still tries to honor the dead. Subtitles. Stars Gaza Rohrig and Levente Molnar. “Son Of Saul” is rated R. No rating.


DECEMBER 23-25, 2015…


Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Road Chip has the guys on the road again. Fans know who they are.


Concussion stars Will Smith as the pathologist who begins to study the effect of concussions in football.


Daddy’s Home comedy has Will Ferrell trying to be a good step-father while Mark Wahlberg is the trouble-making Dad.


Joy has Jennifer Lawrence taking on the role of the woman who invited the Miracle Mop.


Point Break is a remake of the classic crime film that starred Patrick Swayze. This time, Luke Bracey stars.


Snowden (opening in select cities) stars Joseph Gordon-Levitt as the person who passed secrets.


Macbeth (opening in select cities) has Michael Fassbender in the title role with Marion Cotillard as Lady Macbeth.


The Big Short has Ryan Gosling and Brad Pitt as guys who enjoy the betting game.


Youth (opening in select cities) is a beautifully photographed film about aging and stars Michael Caine and Harvey Keitel.


Legend (opening in select cities) is finally opening widely and stars Tom Hardy in two roles, as the Kray Brothers who ran organized crime in London in the 1960’s.


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