December 27, 2017: Wednesday ONAIRprep

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PRINT VERSIONS OF TODAY’S PREP:
ODT: 20171227
PDF: 20171227

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WELCOME TO THE SHOW!

The boss always decorates at Christmas. This year he had a huge neon sign on the door to his office, flashing on and off: “Bah Humbug! Bah Humbug! Bah Humbug!”

PRESIDENTIAL WIT & WISDOM (click here to buy the book)

(None on the weekends.)

“You have to do your own growing no matter how tall your grandfather was.” – Abraham Lincoln

BIBLE VERSE OF THE DAY

“The LORD is for me among those who help me; therefore I will look with satisfaction on those who hate me.” –Psalm 118:7

“Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace to men on whom his favor rests.” — Luke 2:14

In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. — John 1:1

HEARTLIGHT DAILY VERSE, PRAYER & THOUGHT

(From VerseOfTheDay.com)

Whoever serves me must follow me; and where I am, my servant also will be. My Father will honor the one who serves me. John 12:26

Thought: We can’t out serve, out love, or out give Jesus. He longs to bless us. He longs to pour out heaven’s riches and grace upon us. Even more incredibly, he longs to honor us. When our lives are over, God the Father, LORD of the entire universe, will honor all who have served his Son and blessed others in Jesus’ name! Unbelievable? No, just another example of God’s incredible grace!

Prayer: Loving Father and Holy God, please help me follow the will of Jesus and serve others in his name. Father, I know that I cannot earn your grace, but I want to serve others in Jesus’ name and help them find your grace. In the name of the Lord Jesus I pray. Amen.

The Thoughts and Prayers for Today’s Verse are written by Phil Ware. You can email questions or comments to phil@heartlight.org.

BIRTHDAY VERSE” OF THE DAY (The chapter and verse correspond to the month and day!)

1 Corinthians 12:27 NIV = Now you are the body of Christ, and each one of you is a part of it.

TODAY IS WEDNESDAY – DECEMBER 27, 2017

(NOTE: Some holidays may be duplicated due to various calendars reporting conflicting dates)
WEIRD, WACKY, STRANGE, ZANY, ODD, BIZARRE, QUIRKY, UNUSUAL HOLIDAYS!
THERE ARE ONLY
363 SHOPPING DAYS UNTIL NEXT CHRISTMAS.

Today is WATCH THE CHILDREN DAY. ***And maybe you’d like to watch them freezing their little booties off at the zoo. . .

Today is NATIONAL VISIT THE ZOO DAY.  ***n late December? Really? Do they give out free Snuggies with every admission?

Today is DOODY DAY, marking the premier of television’s first successful children’s show in 1947, “Howdy Doody.” ***I include it in the holidays today only because it’s an excuse to use the word “doody” without risk of being fired.

Today is NATIONAL FRUITCAKE DAY.  ***Meaning it will go to the back of the closet to be re-gifted next year.

USES FOR THAT HOLIDAY FRUITCAKE YOU RECEIVED

  • Put it in your yard to scare away the squirrels.

  • Use it as a colorful Yule log.

  • Drop it on Iran as a warning.

  • Make a festive doorstop.

  • Cut it up and make hockey pucks.

  • Use instead of sandbags during a flood.

  • Nice for target practice.

  • One word: Regift

TODAY IS ALSO…

Free Balloon Day (SpongeBob Squarepants)
Howdy Doody Day
Visit The Zoo Day

COMING UP NEXT (Just a list, we are not endorsing the holidays posted below. Find more holidays and link to their websites at BrownieLocks.com)

THURSDAY, DECEMBER 28

Holy Innocents Day
Endangered Species Act Day
National Chocolate Day
Pledge of Allegiance Day

FRIDAY, DECEMBER 29

Tick Tock Day
YMCA Day

SATURDAY, DECEMBER 30

Bacon Day
Falling Needles Family Fest Day
No Interruptions Day

SUNDAY, DECEMBER 31

First Nights
Global Champagne Day
Look On The Bright Side Day
Make Up Your Mind Day
New Years Eve
New Year’s Eve Banished Words List
New Year’s Dishonor List
Universal Hour of Peace Day
World Healing Day
World Peace Meditation Day

MONDAY, JANUARY 01

Copyright Law Day
Commitment Day
Divorce Monday
Ellis Island Day
Euro Day
First Foot Day
Global Family Day
Mummer’s Parade
New Years Day
New Year’s Dishonor List Day
Polar Bear Plunge or Swim Day
Public Domain Day
Rose Bowl Game
Tournament of Roses Parade Day
World Day of Peace
Z Day

TUESDAY, JANUARY 02

55-MPH Speed Limit Day
Happy Mew Year for Cats Day
National Buffet Day
National Motivation and Inspiration Day
National Personal Trainer Awareness Day
National Science Fiction Day
Pet Travel and Safety Day

WEDNESDAY, JANUARY 03

Drinking Straw Day
Earth at Perihelion
J.R.R. Tolkien Day
Memento Mori “Remember You Die” Day
National Chocolate Covered Cherry Day

ON THIS DAY

1900: Prohibitionist Carry Nation smashed her first bar, at the Carey Hotel in Wichita, Kansas.

1932: Radio City Music Hall opened in New York City.

1939: “The Glenn Miller Show,” also called “Music that Satisfies,” debuted on CBS Radio.

1941: Puppets Howdy and Double Doody were born in Doodyville, Texas. They made their TV debut in 1947 on their 6th birthday.

1968: Don McNeil’s final “Breakfast Club” aired on ABC Radio. The show lasted 35 years.

1970: ”Hello, Dolly!” closed on Broadway after 2,844 performances.

1971: Sonny & Cher were given a regular variety show on CBS-TV after their summer replacement show was a big success. “The Sonny & Cher Show” lasted four seasons.

1989: Lucky the dog won the raffle for a free gourmet turkey dinner at a posh restaurant in Shanklin, England. Lucky was very well behaved and growled only once when they tried to put a party hat on him.

1989: The album “Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer” by Elmo and Patsy was certified gold.

1992: In the Philippines, Manila police arrested 18 members of The Reserved Manpower of the Good Wisdom for All Nations Church for letting the air out of hundreds of automobile tires. They said God “ordered” them to do it, and that deflating tires would solve all the nation’s problems.

1998: Officials of Connecticut’s Metro-North Commuter Railroad announced that 120 extra employees would make up their New Year’s Eve “Puke Patrol” to assist amateur drinkers and pass out motion sickness bags.

2000: A Milwaukee man who tuned into a police scanner was surprised to hear traffic officers chasing his wife. The woman was arrested. Her husband showed up at the police station to claim the car keys, but refused to bail out his wife.

2002: Clonaid, a company founded by a group that believed in space aliens, announced it had produced the world’s first cloned baby. Scientists dismissed the claim when the group supplied no corroborating evidence.

TODAY IN CHRISTIAN HISTORY

1518: Zwingli arrives in Zurich. He will begin preaching scripture the following January 1st, leading to revival.

1784: Francis Asbury is ordained superintendent of the Methodist Church in America. He later took the title “bishop,” against the wishes of John Wesley.

HOLLYWOOD, SPORTS AND CELEBRITY FIGURE BIRTHDAYS

  • actress (The Living Daylights) Maryam D’Abo 57
  • actor (“Good Times,” “Coming To America”, “Die Hard 2”) John Amos 76 (audio clip)

BEE-BOP BIRTHDAYS

(Music Artist Birthdays From SongFacts.com)

1906 : Oscar Levant

1931 : Walter Norris

1931 : Scotty Moore

1931 : John “Buddy” Bailey (The Clovers)

1931 : Scotty Moore (Elvis Presley‘s original guitarist)

1941 : Les Maguire (Gerry and the Pacemakers)

1941 : Mike Pinder (The Moody Blues)

1943 : Pete Quaife (The Kinks)

1943 : Peter Sinfield (King Crimson)

1944 : Mick Jones (Foreigner)

1948 : Larry Byrom (Steppenwolf)

1950 : Terry Bozzio (Missing Persons, Captain Beefheart)

1951 : David Knopfler (Dire Straits)

1952 : Karla Bonoff

1972 : Matt Slocum (Sixpence None the Richer)

SECRETS OF THE UNIVERSE (Answering questions that have plagued mankind for minutes!)

Ever wonder why a thing that is no longer considered good is said to have “gone to pot”?

When a leftover dish is no longer suitable to be served alone, as an entree, it is often tossed into a pot for stew. Thus, such a dish has “gone to pot.”

NEWS KICKERS

(None on weekends. Want a customizable version with your specific station tag, FREE? Email me for more information! )

NEW NEWS KICKERS…

(Not posted on weekends and U.S. holidays.)

(This feature will be taking a break December 25th thru January 1st and will return Tuesday, January 2nd.)

NEWS KICKER EVERGREENS…

(Not posted on weekends and U.S. holidays.)

(This feature will be taking a break December 25th thru January 1st and will return Tuesday, January 2nd.)

AS THE JUNGLE TURNS

(Not updated on weekends and U.S. holidays.)

(This feature will be taking a break December 25th thru January 1st and will return Tuesday, January 2nd.)

CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD TUESDAY’S EPISODE – JANUARY 2nd, 2018

OPEN: And now, FancyMonkey.com, (Show Name), and (Station Call Letters) bring you As the Jungle Turns! Last time, the jungle animals were so busy trying to get so many things done that they didn’t have time for anything else… meetings, planning, even talking to each other! They were getting annoyed with each other – and then, all at once, the animals shouted…

CLOSE: Do the turtles have a secret to staying calm, cool, and collected? Will they share the secret with the other animals? Tune in again next time, as FancyMonkey.com, (Show Name), and (Station Call Letters) bring you As the Jungle Turns!

***You may simulcast “As the Jungle Turns” on the Internet stream of your live broadcast only. Any other Internet use of “As the Jungle Turns” in whole or part including podcasting of your live broadcast is a violation of copyright law. Thank you for your cooperation on this vitally important issue. If you have any questions, please e-mail us and ask about “Jungle Jam & Friends the Radio Show” usage.

MOMENT OF DUH
The Christmas that almost wasn’t?

Marcus McCoy and Tanya White decided to trail UPS trucks in Indiana and Illinois for one reason… to snatch packages off doorsteps once they were delivered. They collected thousands of dollars in boxed-up Christmas gifts. When the police finally caught up to them in East Chicago, the booty included notes from grandmothers wishing the intended recipients a merry Christmas and mounds of shredded wrapping paper. Charges against the two Scrooges are expected to include theft, burglary, forgery and unlawful use of a credit card. According to Lake County Sheriff Roy Dominguez, “We’re happy to arrest a grinch anytime.”

TOP TEN

TOP TEN SIGNS IT IS TIME TO UPGRADE YOUR COMPUTER

10. Your graphics accelerator card is connected to the treadmill in your hamster’s cage.

9. The smoke and fumes from your CPU are beginning to affect your health.

8. The only sound you get from your sound card is “cough, cough…wheeze.”

7. The magnifying glass in front of your tiny monitor is starting to melt the plastic casing.

6. You attempt to connect to a site with graphics and you receive a pop-up window saying, “You’re kidding, right?”

5. The start button on your taskbar says, “Give it your best shot.”

4. You find yourself drilling holes in your floor or desktop to hold your ‘puter in place while it’s running.

3. Your idea of multimedia is turning on the stereo in the next room.

2. Your email comes back with postage due.

1. You have to “crankstart” it like an old model “T”.

THE FILES OF LAW & DISORDER

A man without legs steals 10 pairs of pants!

FILE #1: Police in a Vancouver suburb were on the lookout for a legless man wanted for allegedly stealing 10 pairs of pants. The wheelchair-bound man was one of two suspects who witnesses said fled a Gap Inc store in a West Vancouver shopping mall two days before Christmas, carrying trousers and jackets worth $1,600. The men escaped from the crowded mall in a car that had previously been reported stolen.

FILE #2: While an Iowa couple was robbing a convenience store, the woman noticed a contest entry form while waiting for her boyfriend to finish getting the money. Thinking it would be cool to win, she filled out the form complete with her name, address, and phone number. A few hours later the police were at the couple’s house to arrest them.

FILE #3: Sales assistants stopped a robbery in a supermarket by pelting the thieves with tins of chocolate spread. Four masked robbers threatened staff and demanded money in the raid on an Italian store. They gave up though, and fled after staff started throwing tins at them. The gang demanded money from the tills of the supermarket in Italy, and when staff refused, they kidnapped two customers. But they gave up when two sales assistants and the manager, who were hiding behind a display of chocolate and hazelnut spread, started throwing the tins at them. The burglars, reportedly wounded by the tins and bleeding, left the customers and fled the shop. They have not been caught and their identity is unknown. ***But hey, they did get free chocolate!

STRANGE LAW: In Maryland, clotheslines are forbidden, but you are allowed to hang your clothes on a fence.

THIS IS YOUR BRAIN ON DRUGS

This Is Your Brain On Drugs” is about people doing dumb things under the influence, but addiction is no laughing matter. If you or someone you know needs help, there’s a toll free number you can call 1-800-438-0380. That’s the Addiction Hope and Help Line at 1-800-438-0380.

Parents are supposed to teach their children… but they’re not supposed to teach them EVERYTHING.

In Minden, Nevada, a 39-year-old woman was arrested on suspicion of smoking marijuana with her two teenage children. Douglas County sheriff’s deputies said the woman was detained after they responded to a report of a suspicious vehicle. Deputies said the woman told them that she was teaching her son to drive, but they smelled marijuana emanating from the vehicle. The woman’s teenage son and daughter – both in the car and smoking with their mother –confirmed the suspicions of police. The woman was booked on charges of child endangerment, contributing to the delinquency of a minor and possession of a drug. The 14-year-old was released to Child and Protective Services, while the boy was placed in juvenile detention.

PHONER PHUN

So, what DO you do with fruitcake?

BIBLE BRAIN BUSTER!

QUESTION: Who took Paul’s belt and bound his own feet and hands to symbolize how the Jews would bind Paul and deliver him to the gentiles?
ANSWER: Agabus (Acts 21:10-11)

QUESTION IMPOSSIBLE

QUESTION: It’s actually possible… frozen fog. What’s the term for that phenomenon?

ANSWER? Pogonip. The term was coined by Native Americans to describe the frozen fog of fine ice needles that occur in the mountain valleys of the western United States. According to Indian tradition, breathing the fog is injurious to the lungs.

TRUE OR FALSE

Pay attention! If our next player doesn’t answer all ten T/F questions correctly we start all over from question #1! First person to answer question #10 correctly is our winner!

1. The word “O.K.” actually comes from the state of Oklahoma as an early way of saying “hello” to someone passing by. (False… O.K. was popularized in 1840, from a club in former President Martin van Buren’s honor “The O.K. Club.” “O.K.” stands for van Buren’s nickname “Old Kinderhook.”)

2. Pierre Michelin, inventor of safe car tires, died in an automobile accident. (True)

3. Tootsie Roll creator Leo Hirschfield got the “Tootsie” from the name of his Dachshund dog. (False… it was actually his daughter’s nickname.)

4. India has a Bill of Rights for cows. (True)

5. Three men who portrayed the Marlboro Man (the company’s mascot/spokesman) have died of lung cancer. (True)

6. Potatoes can turn green and become poisonous if exposed to the sun. (True – if exposed to too much light)

7. Even dead, Elvis Presley still earned $2-million dollars in the year 2000. (False… it was closer to $35 million)

8. John F. Kennedy, Lee Harvey Oswald, and Jack Ruby all died in the same hospital. (True… they all died at Parkland Hospital in Dallas)

9. When the comic strip Peanuts first debuted, Snoopy stood on two legs instead of four. (True)

10. Back in the 1920s, the word “flipper” was slang for pocketwatch. (False… but the word “turnip” was)

TABLOID MATCH GAME

You have to match the blank in the tabloid headline with the word or phrase that has been removed!

EARTH’S SECOND ______ APPEARS (MOON)

BUSBY, AUSTRALIA –  Residents of this small Australian town were shocked to see two full moons in sky!

Tonight, there’s a full moon in Busby, Australia.  Many residents were admiring it when at 1:20 a.m., local time, a second moon rose in the night sky.  Residents couldn’t believe what they were seeing!

Astronomers across the world were alerted to this sighting and have confirmed the existence of a second earth moon.  “We have never seen anything like this before,” said researcher Rich Montano at the University of California, Los Angeles. “There had been some rumors that a second moon was seen over Hong Son, Thailand  in 1967, but it was only seen for a few hours and only in that one location, but now everyone across Australia can see the second moon.  It’s awe-inspiring.”

Residents of Los Angeles, and the rest of the world, will be able to see the second moon with the naked eye as night falls.  Busby residents are out in the streets staring up in wonder at the second moon. “It’s exciting, but also frightening,” said Carol McNulty of Busby. “It’s so beautiful, but what does it mean?  Why did the second moon appear tonight?  Why?”

“End of times” fanatics are already saying that the appearance of a s second moon is signaling that the world will end.

THE WAY TOO EARLY IN THE MORNING TO UNDERSTAND THE PUNCHLINE EVEN AFTER TWO CUPS OF COFFEE JOKE OF THE DAY 

JOKE #1

A young man was on holiday in Kenya after graduating from college.  While he was walking through the bush, he came across a young bull elephant standing with one leg raised in the air.

The elephant seemed distressed so the man approached it very carefully.  He got down on one knee and inspected the elephant’s foot.  There was a large thorn deeply embedded in the bottom of the foot.  As carefully and as gently as he could he worked the thorn out with his hunting knife, after which the elephant gingerly put down its foot.  The elephant turned to face the man and with a rather stern look on its face, stared at him.  For a good ten minutes the man stood frozen — thinking of nothing else but being trampled.  Eventually the elephant trumpeted loudly, turned and walked away. The man never forgot that elephant or the events of that day.

Twenty years later the man was walking through the zoo with his teenaged son.  As they approached the elephant enclosure, one of the creatures turned and walked over to where they were standing at the rail.  The large bull elephant stared at him and lifted its front foot off the ground then put it down.  The elephant did that several times, all the while staring at the man.  The man couldn’t help wondering if this was the same elephant.  After a while it trumpeted loudly; then it continued to stare at him.

The man summoned up his courage, climbed over the railing and made his way into the enclosure.  He walked right up to the elephant and stared back in wonder.  Suddenly the elephant trumpeted again, wrapped its trunk around one of the man’s legs and swung him wildly back and forth along the railing, killing him.

Probably wasn’t the same elephant.

JOKE #2

A pastor and two of his deacons are out on the river fishing in their rowboat. Twelve o’clock rolls around, and one of the deacons notices a nice spot on the bank to have lunch. He turns to the others and says, “That looks like a nice spot for lunch. What do you say we have lunch over there?”

The other deacon agrees, and so does the pastor. The deacon stands up in the boat, steps out onto the river and walks over to the bank.

The pastor looks on with amazement, and thinks to himself, if his deacon is holy enough to walk on water, surely he can. The other deacon stands up, picks up the picnic basket, steps out of the boat, and walks over to the bank and sits with the first deacon.

Again, to his amazement, the pastor thinks again, if his second deacon is holy enough to walk on water, surely he can. The pastor stands up, steps out of the boat, and sinks into the water.

The first deacon turns to the second and says, “Think we should have told him where the rocks are?”

JOKE #3

A motorcycle patrolman was rushed to the hospital with an inflamed appendix. The doctors operated and advised him that all was well.  However, the patrolman kept feeling something pulling at the hairs on his chest. Worried that it might be a second surgery the doctors hadn’t told him about, he finally got enough energy to pull his hospital gown down enough so he could look at what was making him so uncomfortable.  Taped firmly across his hairy chest were three wide strips of adhesive tape, the kind that doesn’t come off easily. Written in large black letters was the sentence.  “Get well quick ….. from the nurse you gave a ticket to last week.”

USELESS FACTS

A dating service in Florida says it will find you someone that is biologically perfect for you, with DNA match-making.  ***Why would I want someone that matches my DNA?  One person in the house with male-pattern baldness is enough.

You share your birthday with at least 9 other million people in the world.  ***Really?  Then why do none of them ever come to my parties?

FEATURED FUNNIES

GIVING

The priest said to the poor farmer, “If you had a horse, would you give it to the Lord?”
“Yes.”

“And if you had a cow?”
“Absolutely.”

“And a goat?”
“Sure.”

“A pig?”
“Now, that’s not fair!” protested the farmer. “You know I have a pig!”

IT MUST BE TRUE BECAUSE I HEARD IT ON THE RADIO!

Imagine living next door to the man who served time in prison for killing your mother!

The Department of Corrections in Hamilton, New Zealand has got some ‘splaing to do! They’ve offered up an apology and said they’re “extremely sorry” that a convicted killer ended up living NEXT DOOR TO THE DAUGHTER OF THE WOMAN HE STABBED TO DEATH! The murder victim’s daughter has apparently had recurring nightmares of seeing her mother stabbed to death by the man 15-years ago when she was only six. The Department says it looks at the Victims’ Notification Register to check where victims of crime are living, but if those details are not kept up to date, there is not much it can do. They did move him and a department spokesperson said the killer is no longer living anywhere near the victim’s daughter.

INSPIRATIONAL INSPIRATION

Hezekiah commanded the people on the wall not to answer the taunting insults of the field commander of Sennacherib, king of Assyria. Our flesh, or sinful nature, is always talking to us, trying to convince us to give up and give in to our impulses. For the rest of our lives, we will have to listen to the voice of temptation that is the “opposite from what the Holy Spirit wants” (Galatians 5:17).
The discipline of godliness enables us to refuse to answer that voice, to simply ignore it through the power of the Holy Spirit. The people on the wall were totally submitted to the will of Hezekiah and refused even to acknowledge the field commander. Instead, they continued to think on Hezekiah’s encouraging promise that the Lord would deliver them (Isaiah 36:18).
Which voice in Galatians 5:19-23 will you listen to: the voice of the flesh (immorality, hatred, jealousy, rage, envy, drunkenness) or the voice of the Spirit (love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness)? You must learn to completely ignore and turn your back on the flesh, for “the Lord is our judge, our lawgiver, and our king. He will care for us and save us” (Isaiah 33:22).

–By Larry Stockstill

DRIVE TIME DEVOTIONAL

EMERGENCY PRAYERS

Read: Daniel 6:10-23

He knelt down on his knees three times that day, and prayed and gave thanks before his God, as was his custom. –Daniel 6:10

Many people turn to the Lord only when they are in a crisis. Of course, praying in an emergency is better than not praying at all. But whether things are going against us or for us should make no difference. Prayer should be such a natural part of our lives that we engage in it no matter what the circumstances.

Our Bible reading for today illustrates this truth. The enemies of Daniel had gone to Darius, king of Babylon, with a devious plan. They managed to get him to sign a document which, according to the law of the Medes and Persians, could not be changed. The decree stated that for 30 days anyone who asked a petition of any god or man other than the king himself would be thrown into a den of lions. Even though Daniel knew this, “he knelt down on his knees three times that day, and prayed and gave thanks before his God, as was his custom” (Dan. 6:10). Those last four words tell it all. Daniel’s emergency praying reflected his consistent devotion to the Lord.

Although the Father welcomes your petitions in a crisis, He also takes great delight in your thankful prayers when all is going well. Whatever your circumstances, therefore, whether this is a good day or a bad day, make prayer a vital part of your life. Have you talked with God today?

LEFTOVERS

BEAM OVER MY HOMEWORK, SCOTTY

They haven’t beamed anybody up, but physicists in Denmark have gotten closer!

…the scientists have teleported information from light to matter, bringing quantum communication and computing closer to reality. Until now scientists have only been able to teleport similar objects such as light or single atoms over short distances from one spot to another in a split second. However, the scientists at Copenhagen University in Denmark have made a breakthrough by using both light and matter. While they say that no one is likely to be beamed anywhere soon, they say it could mean big advancements in computers and transmitting data.

LIFE… LIVE IT

HOW TO STOP A DRUNK FRIEND FROM DRIVING

(Cosmopolitan) Lisa M. Najavies PH.D. Associate professor in psychiatry at Harvard Medical School, and author of “A Woman’s Addiction Workbook” offers these tips to stop a friend from driving drunk:

  • Be cool and calm. When people are under the influence, their emotional response is heightened, so they’re far more likely to overreact and get defensive if you take an accusatory tone. When talking to them, it’s critical to stay steady, not raise your voice, and maintain eye contact.

  • Come up with plan B. Make it easy for your drunken friend not to drive. Suggest an alternative, rather than just telling them no. Offer them a ride (and a promise to drive them back to pick up their wheels tomorrow) or call a cab.

  • Use delay tactics. If your pal insists she is not drunk and is absolutely fine to drive, then ask her to sit with you — no drink in hand — while you have a cup of coffee. The effect of alcohol diminishes with time, so the longer she can be prevented from getting behind the wheel, the better. And you can use this window to talk her out of driving.

  • Next time, plan ahead. One of the smartest ways to avoid this dilemma is to name a designated driver before you head out. Alternatively, eliminate all temptation to drive drunk by leaving the car at home. Instead, catch a cab, take public transportation, or organize a pickup.

JUST FOR FUN

Lawyer trading cards?

In New England, a law firm hands out attorney trading cards. Each lawyer’s stats are on the back– showing how many clients he’s handled, how many cases he’s won, etc. Here at (STATION) we’re debating doing the same thing with disk jockey trading cards, with each DJ’s stats on the back. I have my personal stats right here.

  • Number of shows: 870

  • Number of shows I’ve spilled coffee into studio equipment: 186

  • Number of times not in the studio when song ended: 38

  • Number of times finger stuck in CD machine: 171

  • Number of times finger stuck in hole in middle of CD: 171

  • Number of times burped during a commercial: 19

  • Number of times fell asleep during the news: 3

  • Number of shows without insulting the boss: 2

  • Number of times accidentally locked in men’s room: 1

FUN LIST

STILL CLEANING UP THE CHRISTMAS MESS IN THE LIVING ROOM?

As you’re cleaning up your house, there is probably plenty of wrapping paper lying around. If you’re like Martha Stewart, you’ll carefully fold it up to use next year. But if not, there are still plenty of ways to reuse it.

  • Give it to guests when you run out of toilet paper and tissue.

  • Wrap leftovers in it.

  • Use it as a sun shield for your car.

  • Cover dull rooms with it – it’s cheaper than wallpaper.

  • Wrap up that fruitcake to make a festive holiday doorstop.

  • Sled down a hill on it.

  • Have the kids do their holiday homework on it.

  • Rewrap a gift you plan to re-gift next year.

  • Use it to make your bird cage lining more festive during the holidays.

MORE SHOW PREP STUFF…

BUT-FIRST” SYNDROME

This odd syndrome seems to be prevalent in mother’s… but I’ve heard it can happen anywhere. You Might call it the “But-First” Syndrome. YOU know. It’s when you decide to do the laundry. So you start down the stairs with the laundry, but then see the newspapers on the table. OK, you’ll do the laundry… BUT FIRST you decide to put the newspapers away. So on your way in to put the newspapers away, you notice the mail on the table. OK, you’ll put the newspapers away… BUT FIRST you’ll pay that bill that needs to be paid. So you look for the checkbook. Oops…there’s the baby’s bottle from yesterday on the floor. OK, you’ll pay the bill… BUT FIRST you need to put the bottle in the sink. You head for the kitchen. Oops, there’s the remote for the TV. What’s it doing here? Okay, you’ll put the bottle in the sink… BUT FIRST you need to put the remote away. Head for the TV room. Aaagh! Stepped on the cat. Cat needs to be fed. Okay, you’ll put the remote away… BUT FIRST you need to feed the cat.  So, here’s what happens at the end of the day: laundry not done, newspapers on the floor, bottle on the table, bills unpaid, checkbook still lost, cat ate the remote control, and, when you try to figure out how come nothing got done all day, you are baffled because, well, you KNOW you were BUSY ALL DAY!! That’s the “BUT-FIRST” Syndrome.

OTHER STUFF I WANT TO CRAM INTO TODAY’S PREP

(Not posted on weekends and U.S. holidays.)

Stand. Don’t sit. Sitting too long could actually be hazardous to your health, even if you exercise regularly, HealthDay News reports of a study from Australia. People who sit too much during the day are more likely to have higher blood sugar and cholesterol levels, increased weight and a greater risk for type 2 diabetes and heart disease. But much of that can be reversed by getting off the couch or out of the office chair. Standing appears to not only improve blood sugar, fats in the blood and cholesterol levels, but also helps rev up metabolism that can help with weight loss. A study found that an extra two hours a day spent standing, rather than sitting, resulted in approximately 2 percent lower blood sugar levels and 11 percent lower average triglycerides, a type of fat in the blood. Those who stood more also had an increase in HDL (“good”) cholesterol and a drop in LDL (“bad”) cholesterol. Replacing two hours a day of sitting time with walking or running was associated with about 11 percent lower average body mass and an almost three-inch smaller waist.

Have you ever pretended you were sick just so you could take time off from work, even though you were perfectly healthy? If so, you’re not alone. 80% of all employees have done this (commonly called a “mental health day”) at one time or another and some are serial users of mental health days. That’s the word from a survey of 1000 workers conducted by ComPsych. So, why are we playing hooky from work? The most popular reasons were family and relationship issues, work-related stress, low energy, and my two favorites on the list… boredom and lack of motivation.

Grazing throughout the day revs your metabolic engines better than eating a few mega-meals, right? Maybe not. Women saw the same calories burn each day whether they tucked into two large meals or five small ones, say researchers from Warwick Medical School in the U.K. Once you find an eating pattern that keeps you satisfied, stick with it, says study author Milan Kumar Piay, M.D., Ph.D. “Changing the pattern of when you eat may affect hunger hormone levels because your brain become used to eating at certain times, and a shift could throw it off.” (Women’s Health)

What is the worst day of the week?  You’re right!  And you’re wrong!  There isn’t one worst day of the week. There are four. And we bet you can easily name them: Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday. With the exception of Friday, people who work feel just as much stress and unhappiness every weekday — not just at the start of the work week, reports The BBC News of research from Stony Brook University in New York. Led by Dr. Arthur Stone, the team analyzed data collected by a Gallup telephone poll of men and women with an average age of 53. They concluded that our moods are no better or worse on Mondays than they are on Tuesdays, Wednesdays or Thursdays. Friday is a whole different story, thanks to that “Friday feeling” as we anticipate the weekend. People reported feeling more enjoyment and happiness and less stress and worry on Fridays, Saturdays and Sundays, compared with the rest of the week. The takeaway: Ditch the concept of “miserable Mondays.”

Skimping on sleep may help you to be more productive — or finish that book you just can’t put down — but the long-term effect of sleep deprivation is daunting: It could put you at a greater risk of developing Alzheimer’s disease. HealthDay News reports that the body appears to use the brain’s downtime during sleep to sweep away disease-related material. But if you’re not sleeping enough, it can derail this process. Researchers from Washington University in St. Louis note that while their finding is preliminary, it could suggest a link between sleep deprivation and the risk of developing the fatal, brain-robbing disease.

SOUL-GLO

(Feel-good stories! Only posted as new stories come available. Not posted on weekends and U.S. holidays.)

One Oklahoma City boy’s secret mission to surprise his mom for Christmas snowballed into a larger surprise for his whole family after their local police officers banded together to ensure that the family had an amazing Christmas. Single mom Sophia Reed had used the last of her extra funds to move herself and her children into a new apartment. In response, Reed’s children wanted to buy her a special gift. But son Diauris’ grand surprise was foiled after he turned up missing for a rather long time, sparking fear in his mother’s heart. Sophia Reed called the police, not knowing of her children’s plan. He quickly returned home when he saw officers and told them what he was doing. His story touched one officer’s heart so much that he soon started spreading word around the station. Soon the area under the family’s Christmas tree started to be loaded with gifts. Officers had banded together and raised some $800 and also bought the family Christmas and housewarming gifts.
https://www.theroot.com/oklahoma-mom-reports-son-missing-only-to-find-out-he-wa-1821495314

TOTALLY OUTRAGEOUS!

(Only posted as stories come available. Not posted on weekends and U.S. holidays.)

Believe it or not, we’ve got a whole slew of predatory lending schemes going on in this country-that are targeted specifically at veterans! These schemes are reminiscent of the toxic practices seen during the housing boom and targeted at thousands of veterans nationwide who have VA home loans. The abuses involve serial re-financings that generate hefty fees for lenders and loan brokers but leave borrowers in worse financial shape than they were before the transaction. Fortunately, the Feds are planning a major crack down on this scum of the earth. Lenders are dangling teaser interest rates, “cash out” windfalls and lower monthly payments, sometimes using shady marketing materials that resemble official information from the Department of Defense. Not infrequently, officials say, borrowers end up in negative equity positions, owing more on their loan balance than their house is worth. Officials at the Government National Mortgage Association, better known as Ginnie Mae, say some veterans are being flooded with misleading re-fi offers and are signing up without assessing the costs and benefits. Some properties are being refinanced multiple times a year, thanks to “poaching” by lenders who aggressively solicit competitors’ recent borrowers to re-fi them again and roll the fees into a new loan balance. The bottom line for VA borrowers: Look skeptically at all re-fi promotions. Run the numbers to see whether refinancing will leave you better off — or deeper in debt. If you’re not sure, get help from a financial person you trust. (Boston Herald)

AND I LEAVE YOU WITH THIS THOUGHT

If you have any leftover Christmas fudge, remember, there are starving disc jockeys all over this studio.

THE TICKET Movie Reviews with MARIE ASNER

Marie Asner has been reviewing films for over 35 years. Her outlets include radio, print and Internet. For more in-depth movie reviews of the following films, visit www.Tollbooth.org. Ratings from 1 (Low) to 5 (High).

DECEMBER 22-25, 2017…

Bright—How about living in a fantasy world where humans and fantasy creatures have co-existed for eons. This is an alternate Earth, and policeman Will Smith and his Orc partner, Joel Edgerton, are on duty. However, there is evil afoot and they have to find a magic wand before anyone else. Also in the cast are Noomi Repace and Lucy Fry. “Bright” is rated PG 13. No rating.

Downsizing—Bet you thought this term mean problems in the work force. Think again. In this film, it concerns shrinking people (shades of “The Incredible Shrinking Man.” ) There is a purpose in this movie, though, and that is if you want to control populations and have the environment last, make the people smaller. Hmm, does that mean family pets, too? One swipe of that paw and….!  To begin the experiment, a group of people are purposely shrunk to four inches and live together, but then problems come forth. Stars are Matt Damon, Christoph Waltz, Udo Kier  and Kristen Wiig. “Downsizing” is rated PG 13. Rating of 2 for fans.

Happy End—This is a depressing film about a family with poisoning and suicides in their past. The story centers on a teenage girl named Eve (Fantine Hardoin) with a troubled past and uncertain future. She eventually lives with her aunt (Isabelle Huppert) and still has problems. Others in the cast are Toby Jones and Jean-Louis Trintignant. French language film. “Happy End” is rated R. No rating.

Father Figures (also called “Bastards”)—This film stars Owen Wilson and Ed Helms as fraternal twins. Their Mom is Glenn Close and they, as adult, find she doesn’t know who their biological father(s) are. What to do? The search is on. Also in the cast are Christopher Walken and J. K. Simmons. “Father Figures” is rated PG 13. No rating.

Hostiles—Christian Bale stars in this western as an army officer in 1892, who agrees to escort a Native American tribal chief and his family back to their family ground. Of course, there are problems along the way with outsiders and weather. The cast includes Wes Studi, Adam Beach and Rosamund Pike. “Hostiles” is rated R. No rating.

Pitch Perfect 3—This is supposed to be the last film in the series, but then everyone says that. The group goes separate ways after winning their championship. Trouble is, they are bored, so along comes a chance to join the USO and entertain troops abroad. But, of course, they get into trouble. The  stars include Hailee Steinfeld,  Anna Kendrick, Rebel Wilson, Ruby Rose and Elizabeth Banks. ”Pitch Perfect 3” is rated PG 13. No rating.

The Greatest Showman—Hugh Jackman is quite the performer, from “Wolverine” to Broadway. Here he takes on the role of P. T. Barnun and how he put together his wonderful circus. There are animals, clowns and trapeze artists, which brings us to singer, Zendaya, who plays Anne Wheeler. She is a trapeze artist who falls for P. T. Barnum’s partner, played by Zac Efron. Zandaya did most of her own stunts in this film.Also in the cast are Rebecca Ferguson and Michelle Williams. Music by John Debney and Justin Paul.  How to put a show together? The Big Top has it all. “The Greatest Showman” is rated PG. Rating of 2 for fans. For children over age ten.

The Phantom Thread—Daniel Day Lewis submerses himself in his acting roles. From “My Right Foot” to “The Last of the Mohicans” and now a fashion designer in “The Phantom Thread.”  Lewis has said that this is his final film and then he will retire from acting.  However, sometimes a tempting role does come along…  A phantom thread is a part of fabric/design in which, if you have the right thread, can unravel the garment. Much like a government, in which one small detail can bring the house down. In this film, set in the 1950’s in London, Daniel Day-Lewis is a couture fashion designer to nobility, along with his sister (Lesley Manville) and they have a structured life. Enter the outspoken, Alma (Vicky Krieps) who gives new fashion inspiration to Daniel, but his sister begins to see the facade crack and doesn’t know how her brother will handle, perhaps, love? Jonny Greenwood composed the score and the film was written and directed by Paul Thomas Anderson. “The Phantom Thread” is rated PG-13. Rating of 3 for fans of fashion and the stars.

DECEMBER 29, 2017…
Film Stars Don’t Die In Liverpool—
An odd title for a movie, but then this film isn’t about your usual actress.  It is about Gloria Grahame, an actress in the 1950’s who won a Best Supporting Actress Award for “The Bad and the Beautiful.” Other memorable roles were in “Oklahoma,“ “Sudden Fear” and “It’s A Wonderful Life.“ Annette Bening takes on the role of Gloria Grahame, whose regular life was more colorful than her screen life. She had several husbands and married her step-son, here played by Jamie Bell. Also in the cast are Vanessa Redgrave and Julie Waters. “Film Stars Don’t Die In Liverpool” is rated R. Rating of 2 for fans.

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