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PRINTER FRIENDLY VERSION: 20151229
WELCOME TO THE SHOW!
Christmas Tree Disposal Tip: Heck, just leave the tree there for a few more days. It’ll be a lot easier to vacuum up than to take down.
Women go to after-Christmas sales to get their shopping done early for next year. Men go to get gifts for the people they forgot.
BIBLE VERSE OF THE DAY
Mark 12:29 NIV = “The most important one,” answered Jesus, “is this: ‘Hear, O Israel, the Lord our God, the Lord is one.
[Jesus said,] “I am the resurrection and the life. He who believes in me will live, even though he dies; and whoever lives and believes in me will never die. Do you believe this?” — John 11:25
HEARTLIGHT DAILY VERSE, PRAYER & THOUGHT
The Word became flesh and made his dwelling among us. We have seen his glory, the glory of the One and Only, who came from the Father, full of grace and truth. — John 1:14
Thought: God’s message wasn’t content to stay confined to a book, a prophecy, or a scroll. Praise God! This Message, this Word, took on flesh and blood and bones! Praise God Almighty! This Message, this Word, didn’t remain far off, distantly holy and unapproachable. Praise the LORD, God of Israel! He came to us in human flesh, bringing us love, hope, redemption, mercy, salvation, joy…
Prayer: Almighty God, I praise and exalt your name above all names. Your love is greater than the volume of all of our oceans. Your mercy stretches farther than the great expanses of our known space. Your grace is beyond calculation. Your salvation is marvelous beyond compare. Thank you for blessing me with all of these in Jesus, who came and lived in my world so I can make my home in yours. In the name of Christ the Lord, I praise you. Amen.
“BIRTHDAY VERSE” OF THE DAY
The chapter and verse corresponds to the month and the day!
Mark 12:29 NIV = “The most important one,” answered Jesus, “is this: ‘Hear, O Israel, the Lord our God, the Lord is one.
TODAY IS TUESDAY – DECEMBER 29, 2015
(NOTE: Some holidays may be duplicated due to various calendars reporting conflicting dates)
WEIRD, WACKY, STRANGE, ZANY, ODD, BIZARRE, QUIRKY, UNUSUAL HOLIDAYS!
THERE ARE ONLY 363 SHOPPING DAYS UNTIL CHRISTMAS.
Today is NO INTERRUPTIONS DAY. ***MARLAR: Good luck with that.
Today is NATIONAL YODEL IN THE SHOWER DAY. ***MARLAR: I started doing that very thing this morning, until the cat puked. Everyone’s a critic.
Today is TICK TOCK DAY. ***MARLAR: You know all that stuff you wanted to accomplish over the past year? Well, you’ve got three days left!
Today is ICE SKATING DAY. ***MARLAR: Also known at my house as Fall And Break Your Arm Day.
Today is ILLEGAL PANTS DAY, commemorating this date in 1852 when Emma Snodgrass was arrested in Boston for wearing pants (rather than a dress). ***MARLAR: Of course, it’s the 21st Century now… where the only pants that should be outlawed are parachute pants and those with waistbands below the buttocks.
TODAY IS ALSO. . .
COMING UP NEXT
WEDNESDAY, DECEMBER 30
Falling Needles Day
THURSDAY, DECEMBER 31
Leap Second Time Adjustment Day
Make Up Your Mind Day
New Year’s Eve
New Year’s Dishonor List
No Interruptions Day
Universal Hour of Peace Day
World Peace Meditation Day
FRIDAY, JANUARY 01
Copyright Law Day
Ellis Island Day
New Year’s Day
New Year’s Dishonor List Day
Rose Bowl Game
Tournament of Roses Parade Day
SATURDAY, JANUARY 02
55-MPH Speed Limit Day
Fruitcake Toss Day
Happy Mew Year For Cats Day
SUNDAY, JANUARY 03
Drinking Straw Day
J.R.R. Tolkien Day
“Remember You Die” Day
National Chocolate Covered Cherry Day
MONDAY, JANUARY 04
Dimpled Chad Day
National Weigh-In Day
Pop Music Chart Day
“Thank God It’s Monday” Day
Tom Thumb Day
TUESDAY, JANUARY 05
ON THIS DAY
1876: American hymn writer Philip Bliss died in a train wreck at age 38. He wrote, “Wonderful Words of Life,” “Let the Lower Lights Be Burning,” “I Will Sing of My Redeemer,” and “I Gave My Life for Thee.”
1945: Sheb Wooley recorded the first commercial recordings in Nashville, four songs at the WSM studios for Bullet Records. Wooley’s biggest hit came in 1958 with “Purple People Eater.” He recorded dozens of novelty songs under the name Ben Colder, and he wrote the theme song for TV’s “Hee Haw.”
1952: In London Dr. Humphrey Arthure removed history largest gallstone from an 80-year-old woman. The stone weighed 13 pounds 14 ounces.
1955: Thirteen-year-old Barbara Joan Streisand recorded “You’ll Never Know” in Brooklyn. She would be appearing on Broadway and misspelling her name within five years.
1957: Singers Steve Lawrence and Eydie Gorme were married in Las Vegas.
1978: French bandits dressed as Kermit the Frog and Fozzie Bear, who had just robbed patients at a Nancy sanatorium of $25-thousand worth of possessions, were cheered by passersby and waved through traffic in their stolen car by amused police officers.
1986: Dick Rutan and Jeana Yeager landed in California after completing history’s first flight around the world without refueling.
1990: Perky Olympic gymnast Mary Lou Retton married Shannon Kelley.
1997: Hong Kong began killing its entire chicken population of 1.25 million birds, fearing spread of “bird flu.”
1997: During a loss to the Chicago Bulls, Dallas Maverick Bubba Wells set an NBA record by committing six fouls in three minutes. Bubba fouled out two minutes faster than the previous record holder, Syracuse’s Dick Farley, who had held the dubious record since 1956.
1997: The last shot of the Civil War may have been fired when police exploded a live shell unearthed in Winchester, Virginia. Two boys found the shell, using a metal detector they got for Christmas. The explosion left a 4-by-5-foot crater in the yard of the boys’ grandfather.
2002: A defendant who ran from a courtroom in Olathe, Kansas, was chased and caught by his own lawyer. Defense attorney Carl Cornwell said his client’s decision to run made him mad. He caught the defendant a short distance away from the court building. ***MARLAR: Ah yeah – that’s my hometown!
2005: Wind-driven grass fires in Texas and Oklahoma destroyed thousands of acres, hundreds of buildings and cattle. The entire Texas farming community of Cross Plains was destroyed.
TODAY IN CHRISTIAN HISTORY
1849: The carol “It Came Upon a Midnight Clear,” by pastor Edmund H. Sears, appears for the first time in The Christian Register.
1851: The first Y.M.C.A. in the United States is organized in Boston.
1876: Hymnwriter Philip P. Bliss and his family fall to their deaths when a bridge collapses under the train they were riding. Bliss’s compositions include “Man of Sorrows—What a Name!”; “Jesus Loves Even Me”; “Almost Persuaded”; the music to “It Is Well with My Soul”; and one hymn discovered in his trunk, which was on a different train that night: “I Will Sing of My Redeemer.”
HOLLYWOOD, SPORTS AND CELEBRITY FIGURE BIRTHDAYS
- actor (Gregory Pratt on “ER”) Mekhi Phifer 41 (
- actor (The Holiday, Alfie, Cold Mountain Artificial Intelligence: AI, Sherlock Holmes) Jude Law 43
- comedienne Paula Poundstone 56
- actor (“Cheers”, “Becker”, “CSI”) Ted Danson 68 (
- actor (Four Christmases, National Treasure, National Treasure II, Mission Impossible) Jon Voight is 77
- actress (“The Mary Tyler Moore Show”, “The Dick Van Dyke Show”) Mary Tyler Moore 78 (
(Music Artist Birthdays From SongFacts.com)
1940 : Ed Bruce
1941 : Ray Thomas (The Moody Blues)
1942 : Rick Danko (The Band)
1946 : Marianne Faithfull
1948 : Charlie Spinosa (John Fred and His Playboy Band)
1951 : Yvonne Elliman
1970 : Glen Phillips (Toad The Wet Sprocket)
SECRETS OF THE UNIVERSE
Why are paper cuts so painful?
By contrast, a cut with a razor blade can be almost painless. Why is that? A cut with a razor causes little collateral damage, as NATO would say, and leaves little foreign matter behind because it is so smooth and clean. The cut can also bleed quite freely, helping to wash away anything that might cause infection. By contrast, a cut with a piece of paper not only parts the flesh but it also tears up the flesh on either side of the wound because of the paper’s rough and fibrous surface. In addition, fibers from the paper will be left behind, snagged in the wound, and the chemicals used in the manufacture of the paper are probably responsible for the immediate sting after the cut is inflicted. These fibers are unlikely to be washed away once the bleeding process begins and, indeed, they may actually hinder this process, preventing any infectious agents from being washed away as well, resulting in longer-term soreness.
CHRISTIAN ARTIST NEWS
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Meredith Andrews shared a picture of her husband’s Cajun earrings as they celebrated a Louisiana Christmas. The picture featured her husband with a small lizard dangling from his ear.
You might be able to relate to Casting Crowns Chris Huffman. He posted this week: Today is the first day of winter, I’ve been eating sweets since Thanksgiving like a bear about to hibernate.
Kerrie Roberts went home for Christmas but it wasn’t easy. She tweeted on Christmas eve: After 2 days of travel, 1 flat tire and so many other adventures, I should be home in a few hours.
Jimmy Needham spent Christmas Eve learning about his heritage. He tweeted: Nothing like spending the afternoon with your Greek mother making Greek cookies.
Some thoughts on art from Sidewalk Prophets Ben McDonald: Boundary pushing…that is one thing I love about art. The options to create are limitless to those who fear no critic.
Christmas eve was busy for Casting Crowns Melodee Devevo. She tweeted: Sugar cookies, oatmeal raisin cookies, cinnamon rolls, and cheese ball down, seven more things to go before Christmas Day.
Moriah Peters is a southern California girl for life. She tweeted: Palm trees over Christmas Trees, sand over snow, roller blading over iceskating.
Sanctus Real is continuing to share videos about the band but they still are mum on their new lead singer. In the latest video they talk in the studio with their bass player Jacob Rye. Former front man Matt Hammitt stepped down at the end of 2015 and the members of the band say they have already selected a new front man. They announced this week that they are working on brand new music but are, at this point, still keeping their new lead singer a closely held secret.
The Newsboys first ever God’s Not Dead Conference is coming in 2016. The four day event will take place in San Antonio, Texas July 7-10. It will feature teaching sessions designed to help young people better understand and defend their faith when challenged by today’s mainstream world. Members of the Newsboys say the conference will incorporate live worship, comedy, and videos, and will also feature a special message on apologetics and a private concert from the Newsboys!
The tornadoes in the Dallas area over the weekend hit especially close to home for some artists.
–The Afters Josh Havens shared: My old neighborhood in Texas was hit by a horrific tornado earlier. Lots of damage in Rowlett and Garland…where I lived for most of my life. Prayers for those who were affected by this tragedy!
–Mercyme’s Mike Scheuchzer added: My friend and his fellow firefighters in Rowlett are fighting a good fight right now… Please pray for Todd Higgins and his brothers.
|Man accused of killing partner, son may blame cough syrup
SEATTLE (AP) — Attorneys for a doctor charged with aggravated murder may argue that their client was suffering from cough-syrup induced psychosis, which led him to kill his partner and toddler son in 2011. HASH(0x1411f10) Chen’s defense team had previously indicated it would pursue an…
|Cow dung patties selling like hot cakes online in India photo
NEW DELHI (AP) — Like consumers around the globe, Indians are flocking to the online marketplace in droves these days. But there’s one unusual item flying off the virtual shelves: Online retailers say cow dung patties are selling like hot cakes. The patties — cow poop mixed with hay and…
|Once again, giant Yule goat burns in Sweden
STOCKHOLM (AP) — In what’s become a Christmas tradition to some Swedes, a giant decorative goat made of straw was set ablaze early Sunday and police arrested a 25-year-old man suspected of arson. The straw goat is a beloved Christmas symbol in the city of Gavle, in central Sweden. However,…
|Couple seeking to undo their divorce get turned down
CONCORD, N.H. (AP) — Should those irreconcilable differences suddenly become reconcilable, don’t go looking to get un-divorced in New Hampshire. The state’s Supreme Court this month upheld a lower court ruling refusing to vacate a New Castle couple’s 2014 divorce after 24 years of marriage….
|Police in California say naked burglar took purse
AUBURN, Calif. (AP) — Police in California are trying to determine why a man was naked in frigid temperatures when he entered a home and stole a purse. Auburn police say the homeowner’s boyfriend then chased 28-year-old Adam Pettibone on Friday night before Pettibone got into an SUV and drove…
|Phoenix firefighters rescue cat from chimney
PHOENIX (AP) — Phoenix firefighters have saved a cat but it wasn’t stuck in a tree. KPNX-TV in Phoenix reports (http://bit.ly/1mbnjqt) that firefighters were called to a home Christmas morning to help free a cat trapped in the chimney. Adrienne Gill says her daughter, who is visiting from…
|Oops: UK astronaut Tim Peake calls wrong number from space photo
LONDON (AP) — Anyone can dial a wrong number, but it’s not often done from outer space. British astronaut Tim Peake tweeted an apology on Christmas Day from the International Space Station after calling a wrong number. He wrote “I’d like to apologize to the lady I just called by mistake…
|Utah firefighters help man dressed as Santa after car fire photo
SALT LAKE CITY (AP) — A stranded Santa Claus whose car caught fire Christmas morning is sure to put one northern Utah fire department on his nice list next year. Steven Macey, a Santa-for-hire dressed in a red suit and beard, was on his way to deliver presents at a home when his car…
|Convenience store boss works his 40th straight Christmas
MT. ARLINGTON, N.J. (AP) — A New Jersey convenience store executive has fulfilled his Christmas tradition of working in one of the company’s stores for the 40th consecutive year. QuickChek Senior Vice President Mike Murphy worked Friday at a store in Mount Arlington. Murphy says he’s always…
|Police say they have arrested bearded woman in stabbing
SAN DIEGO (AP) — San Diego police say they arrested a woman described as weighing about 400 pounds with a beard in the stabbing of a man who asked for a cigarette. Police late Thursday night arrested the woman they say stabbed the man in the neck on Wednesday. Police Officer Robert Heims…
|Nebraska zookeepers give treat-filled presents to animals photo
LINCOLN, Neb. (AP) — Even the animals shared in the holiday spirit at the Lincoln Children’s Zoo in Nebraska On Thursday, keepers gave their animals treat-filled presents, continuing the zoo’s longtime tradition. HASH(0x141baf0) Zookeeper Meg Meyer’s first stop was the macaws, where Elliot…
|Robert Spitzer, ‘most influential psychiatrist,’ dies at 83 photo
SEATTLE (AP) — Dr. Robert Spitzer — a psychiatrist who played a leading role in establishing agreed-upon standards to describe mental disorders and eliminating homosexuality’s designation as a pathology — died Friday in Seattle. He was 83. Spitzer died of heart problems, said his…
|Manning angrily denies Al Jazeera report he obtained PEDs photo
ENGLEWOOD, Colo. (AP) — Peyton Manning said a report by Al Jazeera set to air Sunday that suggests he obtained performance-enhancing drugs was “completely fabricated, complete trash, garbage.” Manning angrily denied allegations to ESPN on Sunday morning he used HGH in 2011. The report is…
|AP PHOTOS: For family of special-needs kids, special help photo
SPRINGFIELD, Mass. (AP) — It takes a strict routine and a lot of help to raise a family of special-needs children. Few know this better than Eric and Dennis Volz-Benoit, who have five. Typical days involve feeding tubes, breathing treatments, medications and assembly-line showers, not to…
|Alaska’s Inuit link steady food supply to environment health photo
ANCHORAGE, Alaska (AP) — Alaska Inuit hunter John Goodwin for decades has hunted oogruk, the bearded seal, a marine mammal prized for its meat, oil and hide. The largest of Alaska’s ice seals uses sea ice to rest and birth pups, and after the long winter, when ice breaks into floes, there’s a…
|Boston Chipotle where 136 sickened with norovirus reopens
BOSTON (AP) — A Chipotle restaurant near Boston College has reopened several weeks after 136 patrons fell ill with norovirus. City health inspectors had given the restaurant in the Cleveland Circle neighborhood permission to reopen as soon as Thursday, but it wasn’t able to open its doors…
|Obama admits to feeling ‘small’ alongside Marines photo
KANEOHE BAY, Hawaii (AP) — President Barack Obama may be one of the most powerful men in the world but he admits to feeling “small” when working out alongside Marines at their gym on base in Hawaii. “The only problem I’ve got when I’m here is having to work out with Marines in the gym,” Obama…
|Brazil fears birth defects linked to mosquito-borne virus photo
RIO DE JANEIRO (AP) — In the early weeks of Angelica Pereira’s pregnancy, a mosquito bite began bothering her. At first it seemed a small thing. But the next day she awoke with a rash, a headache, a fever and a burning in her eyes. The symptoms disappeared within four days, but she fears the…
|APNewsBreak: EPA wants toxic Nevada mine on Superfund list photo
RENO, Nev. (AP) — Fifteen years after U.S. regulators started assessing damage and health risks at an abandoned Nevada copper mine, the Environmental Protection Agency is moving to designate the contaminated land a Superfund site, a step the state could still oppose. Rural neighbors of the…
|Choking on smog, Rome and Milan issue no-car day edicts photo
ROME (AP) — Rome and Milan have ordered no-car days next week to combat pollution, which has hit unhealthy levels for weeks mainly because no rain has fallen to wash away the smog. A six-hour ban on cars this Monday and Tuesday was announced by Rome on Thursday, while Milan’s anti-pollution…
|New advice on who qualifies for cholesterol-lowering statins
WASHINGTON (AP) — Considering a cholesterol-lowering statin to prevent a heart attack? Deciding who’s a good candidate requires calculating more than a simple cholesterol level. A government task force says the popular medications will be of most benefit to some people ages 40 to 75 whose…
|Study: Some cardiac arrest victims ignore warning symptoms photo
WASHINGTON (AP) — Sudden cardiac arrest may not always be so sudden: New research suggests a lot of people may ignore potentially life-saving warning signs hours, days, even a few weeks before they collapse. Cardiac arrest claims about 350,000 U.S. lives a year. It’s not a heart attack, but…
(No news on the weekends. Audio clips are only valid for a few days before being removed from our servers.)
NEW NEWS KICKERS…
Trix is getting rid of the rabbit. The brand decided to follow the current food trend and get rid of all its artificial colors and flavors in exchange for real ingredients. ***And since the rabbit is currently all artificial colors – it gets the boot too? Could we not have started with that annoying rainbow toucan – or that cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs freak?
A man was sentenced to five years in prison for smuggling millions of dollars of counterfeit poker chips to a professional tournament. *** Take a wild guess what he paid his bail with.
A cat in Massachusetts needed help when a driver heard what sounded like meowing coming from her car’s engine. Crista McKinnon noticed the noise when she stopped at a McDonald’s. Firefighters responded and rescued the feline. *** So her engine purred like a kitten… but only until it was fixed?
More than 45,000 people registered their drones in the two days after the Federal Aviation Administration opened the registry to the public. The FAA believes that around 400,000 drones could be sold during the holidays. All of them weighing over 0.55 pounds must be registered. In return, people get an identification number, which they are expected to affix to every drone that they own. The FAA hopes to use the registration requirement to educate the public about drone safety. *** You have to register your drone if it’s over half a pound? Wouldn’t that mean EVERYBODY with a government job would have to register?
NEWS KICKER EVERGREENS…
Move over, FOMO, and make room for FOBO: A study by culture experts (Crowd DNA) found that fear of being offline is the new fear of missing out, as 70 percent of respondents 13 through 24 said they have to be connected, no matter where they are. ***MARLAR: I would make fun of these people – but I did discover this story online, I’m doing my show online, and you’re probably listening online… so….
(PART ONE) Coffee is good to the last drop at slashing the risk of cardiovascular diseases, Parkinson’s and Alzheimer’s. American women who drank one to three cups of java a day reduced their odds of getting the diseases by 20 to 25 percent, according to Norwegian researchers. Says co-author of the study, Lene Frost Andersen: “The findings suggest antioxidants could be a factor in reducing the risks of contracting a number of ailments.” However, drinking more than five cups of coffee a day can negate the good effects. ***MARLAR: I was excited there for a while up until that “five cups negate the good effects” line. Dang it.
(PART TWO) If you want to boost your brainpower, all you have to do is drink tea, a new study proves. Any kind of tea will do the trick — black, green, hot, iced — as long as you drink lots of it, say scientists at the Douglas Hospital Research Center at McGill University in Montreal, Canada. Not only will it make you smarter, tea will also fend off Alzheimer’s disease and other forms of age related dementia. ***MARLAR: Yeah, well they said the same thing about coffee – and then stripped the joy away by saying we could only have five cups a day (see story above).
Driving is becoming so last century. Since the end of World War II, getting a driver’s license has been a rite of passage for teens, but that’s less and less the case. The share of people in their teens, 20s and 30s with driver’s licenses has dropped significantly over the past three decades, not only the United States, but also in some other wealthy nations with a high proportion of Internet users, transportation researchers have found. ***MARLAR: Well, duh. How can you get a driver’s license when you’re busy texting and playing “Candy Crush”?
CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD TODAY’S EPISODE… “Wheels on Luggage”
DAILY COMEDY CLIP
CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD TODAY’S EPISODE… Robert G. Lee, “Secret Language”
AS THE JUNGLE TURNS – WEEKDAY VERSION
CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD TUESDAY’S EPISODE
OPEN: And now, FancyMonkey.com, (Show Name) and (Station Call Letters) bring you another inspiringly inspiring inspiration story from the never-ending deep-jungle soap-opera saga that is, As the Jungle Turns!
CLOSE: So we have a new story, about having a story – but the story hasn’t begun yet because everyone wants the story to be about them. Or maybe that IS the story. Whatever… find out next time, As the Jungle Turns.
AS THE JUNGLE TURNS – SATURDAY/SUNDAY VERSION
CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD THE EPISODE FOR THE WEEKEND OF JANUARY 02/03
OPEN: And now, FancyMonkey.com, (Show Name), and (Station Call Letters) bring you As the Jungle Turns!
When last we left the jungle, Louis the lion, a very young lion, was thrust into the position of royalty. And now that the animals have Louis as king of the jungle, they’ve stopped making decisions for themselves about what to do. Even normal day-to-day activities like fort building, swimming, playing badminton…
CLOSE: Will the little lion king ever learn to make decisions? Tune in again next to, for As the Jungle Turns!
***You may simulcast “As the Jungle Turns” on the Internet stream of your live broadcast only. Any other Internet use of As the Jungle Turns in whole or part including podcasting of your live broadcast is a violation of copyright law. Thank you for your cooperation on this vitally important issue. If you have any questions, please e-mail us.
MOMENT OF DUH
If you have something new, where is the last place you want to put it? How about on the curb… on trash day?
In Charleston, West Virginia, Matthew Harrison’s mother had just purchased him and his wife a new dryer, to match the couple’s new washing machine. The Harrisons called the city and asked for their old washing machine to be hauled away and they put it out on the curb as instructed. They then waited more than three weeks for the city crew to come and take it away. As luck would have it, the crew showed up on the same day the Harrisons brought their new dryer home. They had just unloaded the new dryer from the truck and put it on the curb — right next to the old washer– then went looking for someone to help him carry the machine into the basement. Of course that is the exact moment the city crew finally showed up and hauled both the old washer and the new dryer away! When Matthew came back, the new dryer was nowhere to be found. They city is now considering reimbursing the Harrisons for a new dryer.
TOP TEN SIGNS YOU MAY BE IN A TEXAS CHURCH
- The call to worship is, “ya’ll come on in.”
- The preacher says, “I’d like to ask Bubba to help take up the offering and 5 guys stand up.
- Church activities are planned not to conflict with a Cowboys game.
- Opening day of deer season is recognized as an official church holiday.
- Prayers regarding the weather are standard practice.
- There is no such thing as a “secret” sin.
- Baptism is referred to as “branding”.
- The pastor wears boots.
- People wonder, when Jesus fed 5000 whether the two fish were bass or catfish.
- Prayers are said for the well being of the Dallas Cowboys.
THE FILES OF LAW & DISORDER
A man robs a bank with a rifle… but points it in the wrong direction!
FILE #1: An Evansville, Indiana man tried to rob a bank, but had some difficulties. After putting his SKS assault rifle on the counter of the bank, he picked it back up the wrong way and so had the barrel pointing to himself. Realizing how ridiculous this was, he began turning the gun around and got the barrel caught in his boot, which is when pieces began falling off the rifle. He then commented that he was afraid that he was going to shoot his foot off. After fleeing to his car, about 20 yards down the road, the red dye packs exploded, startling him and causing his car to crash, forcing him to flee on foot… right into the path of a police officer. So he dropped the money and the gun and scampered away. But wait! There’s more! Having screwed it up the first time so badly he decided to try it again, the same day, at another bank. As it turned out, at that very moment, the Evansville Police Department SWAT team was assembled and training nearby and so the entire swat team was able to get down to the bank in just a few minutes.
FILE #2: An Arkansas couple wanted to go to the movies so badly, they were willing to put it all on the line to do so. Having no money, teenage movie lovers Allen and Jessica Powell decided to simply go steal the money so they could go to the show. Allen put on a Scream mask, and Jessica acted as the getaway driver. Allen simply walked in to the store, demanded money, got it, left with it, and drove away. But, the couple was arrested 32 minutes later in Blackwell after authorities identified the getaway car. They were both charged with armed robbery and attempted escape.
FILE #3: A former funeral director in Bar Harbor, Maine was so concerned that his business was going to go bankrupt, that he started stealing from his clients. Paul McFarland was convicted and sentenced to 7 years in prison for stealing $460,000 from trusts set up by some 200 elderly clients for their eventual burial expenses. McFarland apologized to the court for his actions. He said he had taken the money only to keep his business from going under.
STRANGE LAW: In Pueblo, Colorado it is illegal to let a dandelion grow within city limits.
THIS IS YOUR BRAIN ON DRUGS
43-year-old David Dascher, of Ohio, was arrested for DUI. He was driving his lawnmower with an open can of beer while intoxicated.
Today is TICK TOCK DAY – you only have three days left to accomplish whatever it is that you wanted to accomplish over the past year. What have you not yet accomplished? (Or brag about what you DID accomplish this year!)
BIBLE BRAIN BUSTER!
QUESTION: What Bible character was mentioned as being the first craftsman with brass and iron?
ANSWER: Tubal-Cain (Genesis 4)
QUESTION: In what city is the world’s only roller skating museum?
ANSWER: Lincoln, Nebraska.
TRUE OR FALSE
Pay attention! If our next player doesn’t answer all ten T/F questions correctly we start all over from question #1! First person to answer question #10 correctly is our winner!
- A Scott Paper Company survey concluded that more than two-thirds of people with master’s degrees and doctorates read in the bathroom. (True)
- In the 1850s, a gentleman named Elisha Otis showcased a new invention at the World’s Fair called the dishwasher. (False, it was the elevator)
- The water moccasin, the most poisonous snake in North America, is also called the “Poisonmouth”. (False… it’s the “Cottonmouth”)
- Lake Huron is the only one of the Great Lakes that is entirely in the U.S. (False, Lake Michigan is the only one.)
- The largest state, in square footage, east of the Mississippi River is Georgia. (True)
- The cucumber has the fewest calories of all raw vegetables. (True)
- Pepsi owns the Minute Maid brand name. (False, it’s Coca-Cola)
- Former U.S. President Grover Cleveland, when he was a sheriff, twice served as a hangman. (True)
- Mr. Squeezie was the pesky supermarket manager who kept asking customers not to “squeeze the Charmin.” (False, it was Mr. Whipple)
- Marconi was 16 when he invented the radio. (False, he was 21.)
TABLOID MATCH GAME
You have to match the blank in the tabloid headline with the word or phrase that has been removed!
KARDASHIANS USE _________ TO PRODUCE THEIR PRODUCTS (SLAVES)
LOS ANGELES – There are rumors out of China that companies hired to produce Kardashian products – use slave labor!
The Kardashians — who make millions of bucks off of their fashion lines — use “slave labor” and turn a blind eye to shocking working conditions … this according to news reports out of Los Angeles, China and a small island near Fiji.
They also reportedly make their workers wear “Kardashian” clothes to work and during their breaks they have to watch Kardashian reality shows. Sources at the factories told WWN that watching the Kardashians is the real torture. They feel that Americans are the ones that are the real “Kardashian slaves.”
THE WAY TOO EARLY IN THE MORNING TO UNDERSTAND THE PUNCHLINE EVEN AFTER TWO CUPS OF COFFEE JOKE OF THE DAY
A man was sitting relaxing in an airplane when another guy dropped into the seat beside him. This new guy was a pale wreck. His hands were shaking; he was biting his nails; he was moaning in low tones. “Hey, pal, what’s the matter?” said the first man.
“Oh my, I’ve been transferred to Los Angeles, California,” the second answered. “Los Angeles has race riots, rampant street drugs, and the highest crime rate in America.”
“Hold on,” said the first man. “I’ve lived in Los Angeles all my life, and it’s not as bad as the media portrays. Find a nice home, go to work, mind your own business, enroll your kids in a good school, and it’s as safe as anywhere in the world.”
The second guy stopped shaking for a moment and said, “Oh, thank goodness. I was worried to death, but if you live there and say it’s OK, I’ll take your word for it. What do you do for a living?”
“What do I do?” replied the first, “I’m a tail gunner on a bread truck.”
Showing his friend around his home, Fred started to point out all of the collectibles he and his wife had acquired over their long years of marriage.
“The day before I die, I’d like to sell every piece we’ve got just to see how much it’s all worth.”
“But you couldn’t possibly know the day before you were going to die, so how could you sell it.”
“Simple: If I sell it, my wife would kill me!”
A police officer sees a man driving around with a pickup truck full of penguins. He pulls the guy over and says: “You can’t drive around with penguins in this town! Take them to the zoo immediately.”
The guy says OK, and drives away. The next day, the officer sees the guy still driving around with the truck full of penguins – and they’re all wearing sunglasses.
He pulls the guy over and demands: “I thought I told you to take these penguins to the zoo yesterday?” The guy replies: “I did, today I’m taking them to the beach.”
Doctors are saying a child’s immunity system can actually be strengthened by exposing them to a little dirt. ***MARLAR: That’s why my parents gave me a subscription to People Magazine.
A recent study shows that around 9% of the U.S. population — 28 million people — don’t have bank accounts. ***MARLAR: And most of us work in radio.
Little Johnny opened the big and old family Bible with fascination, and looked at the old pages as he turned them. Suddenly, something fell out of the Bible, and he picked it up and looked at it closely. It was an old leaf from a tree that had been pressed in between the pages. “Mom, look what I found,” Johnny called out. “What have you got there, ear?” his mom asked. With astonishment in the young boy’s voice, he answered: “Gee, I think it’s Adam’s suit!”
IT MUST BE TRUE BECAUSE I HEARD IT ON THE RADIO!
A new year means a new calendar, but if Scott Flansburg had his way, we would throw out the whole concept behind today’s calendar.
Flansburg, who is known as the “human calculator” is proposing a new calendar that would do away with the Gregorian calendar we have been using for centuries. Flansburg’s calendar has 13 months of 28 days each, adding up to 364 days. Making New Year’s Day a monthless day, designated “00” brings the tally to the regular 365. Under his system, every New Year’s would be a Sunday. Christmas, always on a Monday, would always lend itself to a three-day weekend. Your birthday would always be on the same day of the week each year, as well. Flansburg also notes that the system would make things like paychecks, budgets and even paying your bills (spread our payments over 13 months instead of 12) easier. He still hasn’t figured out how to handle leap years yet. ***MARLAR: How about we just make that day a monthless holiday too? After all, who wouldn’t agree to another national holiday?
Hezekiah proved the awesome power of prayer through two incidents in his life. First, he faced the terrible army of Sennacherib, who threatened to totally annihilate Jerusalem. In such a desperate moment, Hezekiah merely brought Sennacherib’s threat and “spread it out before the Lord” (Isaiah 37:14). God heard Hezekiah’s intercession and sent the death angel to destroy 185,000 men in one night!
Second, Hezekiah faced impending death because of sickness. Again his response was to pray: “When Hezekiah heard this, he turned his face to the wall and prayed to the Lord” (Isaiah 38:2). God was so moved by his prayer that He told Hezekiah He would extend his life by fifteen years (v. 5), and to prove His promise would come true, He caused the sun’s shadow to move backward (v. 8).
Oh, how God yearns to answer your prayers, and how able He is to do it! His Word promises, “You faithfully answer our prayers with awesome deeds, O God our savior. You are the hope of everyone on earth, even those who sail on distant seas” (Psalm 65:5).
Be bold enough to ask Him for what you need, even when it looks hopeless. He will literally move heaven and earth to answer your prayer!
–By Larry Stockstill
DRIVE TIME DEVOTIONAL
It’s really weird to be called by the wrong name. For instance, my brother goes by the name Alan (his middle name) instead of by Scott (his first name). When people call out to him using his first name, it sometimes trips him up. We DJs often use fake names on the air instead of our real names, just because it’s fun. But after a while, we get so accustomed to our on-air personas that it’s weird to hear our own names when someone is talking to us. One guy I know of has all but given up his real name for the on-air name of “Charlie Tuna”. There’s also a DJ that goes by the name of (and I’m not kidding about this), “Ben Dover”.
Some Bible characters ended up with different names than the ones their moms gave them. But it wasn’t because of their personal preference. They were following God’s directions. Abraham, Sarah, and Jacob are three whose names were changed because God had radically changed their lives. He wanted them to carry a label that reminded them and others of what He had done.
Names are important to God. Look at how important God’s name is to Him. He doesn’t allow us to misuse it in any way. He wants us to use His names, God and Jesus Christ, in reverence and honor.
That’s why all the deity name-calling that goes on in our society is such a problem. If we use God’s name (in any form) in an inappropriate way, you just know it hurts Him.
When it comes to the names of God, we need to be careful. The names of God and Jesus should never be changed, altered, or used in any way other than out of absolute respect.
If you think your name is important to you, think about how important God’s name is to Him.
A man has been living with over a ton of garbage in his home – on purpose – for the last five years!
A Bucharest man had one ton of garbage in his apartment – literally! It has finally been removed by authorities. After the removal of the rubbish, the building had to be evacuated and disinfected. Says one neighbor, “We just couldn’t bear the smell. I think he’s kept rubbish in there for five years now. Nobody knows why he is collecting that junk. He doesn’t speak to any of us. We had to ask the authorities to intervene.” ***MARLAR: One man’s trash is another man’s… trash.
LIFE… LIVE IT
LOSE THAT WEIGHT
The most popular resolution for the New Year is to lose weight, according to MyGoals.com. If you really want to lose weight, don’t diet.
…Diets can make you feel deprived, and that makes you more prone to binge eating — not exactly a good way to shed pounds. Instead of dieting, make small changes in your eating habits. According to NYP Holdings, here are 10 ways to lose 10 pounds:
- Take three bites less of everything. This will typically shave off 100 calories.
- Go ahead and order the pizza, but cut out the cheese and meat toppings and choose extra sauce and veggies instead.
- Watch less television. Previous research has shown that people who watch more than two hours of TV a day tend to be overweight.
- Instead of oil or butter, use nonstick sprays and pans.
- When you go to parties, do this simple trick: Don’t look at the buffet table. What you don’t see won’t tempt you.
- When you’re making homemade goodies, cut the sugar in the recipe by one-third. You’ll never even notice the difference.
- Hungry? Eat fruit instead of candy. Do this once a day and you’ll save a whopping 100 calories.
- Thirsty? Drink from a tall, thin glass instead of a short, squat one. It will seem like you’re drinking more.
- When possible, stand instead of sitting. Fifty minutes of standing actually burns up 100 calories!
- Cut your portion size the easy way: Use smaller plates and bowls.
JUST FOR FUN
PREDICTIONS FOR NEXT YEAR…
- Gas prices will go up, politicians will call for an investigation into price gouging, and those same politicians will forget about the situation until election time rolls around again.
- Donald Trump will fire someone.
- Nothing real will be seen on reality TV.
- A rap song will come out that sounds just like a lot of other rap songs, and it will be a big hit.
- A celebrity with an upcoming CD/movie/television project will “accidentally” say something offensive and get a lot of attention.
- The Chicago Cubs will not win the World Series.
NEW YEARS THOUGHTS
- Throw out non-essential numbers; this includes age, weight, height. Let the doctor worry about these – that’s why you pay them.
- Keep only cheerful friends – grouches pull you down.
- Keep learning – learn more about computers, crafts, gardening, whatever; never let the brain idle. “An idle mind is the devil’s workshop.” The devil’s name is Alzheimer’s.
- Enjoy the simple things. Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath.
- Tears happen. Endure, grieve, and move on. The only person who is with us our entire life is ourselves. Be alive while you are alive.
- Surround yourself with what you love – family, pets, keepsakes, music, plants, hobbies, whatever; your home is your refuge.
- Cherish your health – if it is good, preserve it. If it is unstable, improve it. If it is beyond what you can improve, get help.
- Don’t take guilt trips – go to the mall, the next county, a foreign country, but not to guilty country.
- Tell the people you love, that you love them, at every opportunity.
- Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.
MORE SHOW PREP STUFF…
A New York man proposed to his girlfriend on Christmas Eve in a truly enlightened way.
On Christmas Eve, David Planavsky drove his girlfriend of almost five years, Janice Hopkins, past a storage building he owns. There, on an 800-square-foot frame, 6,300 blinking lights powered by a 5,000-watt generator and linked by 26 extension cords spelled out his message of hope: “Janice will you marry me?” The entire effort cost Planavsky around $350 and took him about 20 hours to hang. “The woman thought I was nuts when I was buying them,” Planavsky said. “I had to think of something big.” She said “yes”, by the way. ***MARLAR: It’s believed to be the first time in history where that many Christmas lights were being used without any of them not working.
OTHER STUFF I WANT TO CRAM INTO TODAY’S PREP
A little disappointed in this years Christmas gifts? It could be worse. Relevant magazine polled their readers for their most disappointing Christmas gifts and the results included expired coupons for a restaurant a thousand miles away, used tooth brushes, out dated condiment packages and burial plots.
Forget the days of seeing 2D video or an Instagram feed of your friend’s trip to the Rockefeller Center Tree. ABC news is giving you a virtual reality, 360-degree view of the Big Apple during the most wonderful time of the year. Stand in the middle of an ice rink in Bryant Park or be face-to-face with Santa Claus. Visit the elaborately decorated homes in Dyker Heights, Brooklyn, right in the comfort of your home. Check out more on the virtual reality video – http://abcn.ws/1OQ7Qm6
Gift return tips from Today.com
- Do it early or wait until the New Year
- Return electronics first
- Restocking fees may apply; selling online may be better
- Print the return policy and take your ID
- Don’t open the box
- You can return or exchange gift cards
AND I LEAVE YOU WITH THIS THOUGHT
Are you a thermometer or a thermostat? One reacts to what is around it, the other controls what is around it. Which are you?
A New Year begins THIS THURSDAY NIGHT. At midnight the first baby born and the mother are showered with gifts. ***MARLAR: At 12:01AM the hospital discharges them after their insurance runs out.
THE WAY WE WORK
(Updated as it comes available. The Way WE Work is written by Mark Elfstrand from 1160Hope.com in Chicago.)
Dustin Moskovitz is listed as one of “America’s Richest Entrepreneurs under 40” by Forbes. In fact, he’s number 2 at $9.4 billion as of 12/26/15. He’s 31 years old.
Like Mark Zuckerberg, he dropped out of Harvard after two years. Then he joined Zuckerberg in Palo Alto to develop Facebook. In 2008, Moskovitz left Facebook to start Asana, a software firm where he now serves as co-founder and CEO. A wise young man, he held on to most of his Facebook stock.
Dustin and wife Cari have created a philanthropic foundation called Good Ventures, which has given away millions. Dustin is also a member of Bill Gates’s and Warren Buffett’s Giving Pledge. Sharing and caring are apparently two of his core values.
As for personal notes, Moskovitz bikes to work. He flies commercial. You’ll find him regularly attending the rewnowned Burning Man desert festival events.
He also blogs. One blog posted in 2015 should be required reading for any serious employer or captain of industry. It’s titled, “Work Hard, Live Well.” I’m including a good portion of his comments below. https://medium.com/building-asana/work-hard-live-well-ead679cb506d#.7ycv3adci
Those who follow business stories know that in the last twelve months, several stories surfaced about the work culture at Amazon. At fortune.com, the headline back in August read, “Dear Amazon: Your work culture really is terrible.” http://fortune.com/2015/08/19/amazon-work-culture/
That article followed the New York Times piece “Inside Amazon: Wrestling Big Ideas in a Bruising Workplace.” From that we learned, “At Amazon, workers are encouraged to tear apart one another’s ideas in meetings, toil long and late (emails arrive past midnight, followed by text messages asking why they were not answered), and held to standards that the company boasts are ‘unreasonably high.’ The internal phone directory instructs colleagues on how to send secret feedback to one another’s bosses. Employees say it is frequently used to sabotage others.” Lovely. http://www.nytimes.com/2015/08/16/technology/inside-amazon-wrestling-big-ideas-in-a-bruising-workplace.html?_r=2
Dustin Moskovitz offers a refreshingly different perspective. It begins with a startling admission of his early missteps. Dustin writes…
“Last week, I spoke to an ambitious group of high school students…Several of them asked me about things I wish I had done or learned earlier in life, or regrets I had from earlier in my career. Again and again, I came back to the idea that I wish I had lived my life differently.
2006 was one of the best years for Facebook, and one of the worst years for me as a human.
I wish I had slept more hours, and exercised regularly. I wish I had made better decisions about what to eat or drink — at times I consumed more soda and energy drinks than water. I wish I had made more time for other experiences that helped me grow incredibly quickly once I gave them a chance.”
Early regrets. Hmmm. And he’s 31! After a few students questioned whether those changes would have reduced his success, he added…
“Actually, I believe I would have been more effective: a better leader and a more focused employee. I would have had fewer panic attacks, and acute health problems — like throwing out my back regularly in my early 20s. I would have picked fewer petty fights with my peers in the organization, because I would have been generally more centered and self-reflective. I would have been less frustrated and resentful when things went wrong, and required me to put in even more hours to deal with a local crisis. In short, I would have had more energy and spent it in smarter ways… AND I would have been happier. That’s why this is a true regret for me: I don’t feel like I chose between two worthy outcomes. No, I made a foolish sacrifice on both sides.” Wow.
It is then that Moskovitz addresses the concerns that are raised by the Amazon working conditions — freely noting that the tech industry has plenty of like minded drivers. He was told by one job candidate that the team at the other company started their dinners at 8:30 p.m. to encourage people to stay late!
Dustin also briefly outlines the proven productivity that comes with fewer hours and less demanding lifestyles. And then he asks…
“Why are companies doing this? It must be some combination of 1) not knowing the research 2) believing the research is somehow flawed or doesn’t apply to them (they’re wrong) or 3) understanding that many people see these cultural artifacts as a signal about the intensity and passion of the team.”
Part of his solution is based on simply two words: rest matters. We should all be so wisely reminded. Rest…matters. (Read Psalm 127:2)
Of course, this is not new. In His earliest commands, God instructed His people to work six days. Then…rest. He offered up several other instructions for rest periods as well. Obviously, our Creator knows our limitations.
While the world goes full bore into 2016 with new resolutions on how to strive for new accomplishments, tell a few friends you’re committed to the Moskovitz Model: rest more! Stress less.
And for more work success tips, try reading the Bible in 2016. It will make for a happier New Year.
That’s The Way WE Work. Click on the link to the right to connect via Facebook.
Catch “Let’s Talk with Mark Elfstrand” weekday afternoons from 4-6pm on AM 1160 Hope for Your Life. To listen to the live broadcast or a podcast of previous shows click here.
THE TICKET Movie Reviews with MARIE ASNER
Marie Asner has been reviewing films for over 30 years. Her outlets include radio, print and Internet. For more in-depth movie reviews of the following films, visit www.Tollbooth.org. Ratings from 1 (Low) to 5 (High).
DECEMBER 23-31, 2015…
Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Road Chip—Here come the singing animated Chipmunks and their fan club awaits (you know who you are). This story concerns their manager (Jason Lee) and the guy wants to get married…but will he leave the group? Hmm. “Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Road Chip” is rated PG. No rating.
Concussion—Will Smith stars as Dr. Bennet Omalu, who was one of the first medical people to study the effects of concussions on football players. He is a pathologist. David Morse steals the film as a football player whose mind is going and he doesn’t know why. The NFL tries to suppress the doctor’s findings. “Concussion” is rated R. Rating of 3.
Daddy’s House—Will Ferrell has married and now has step-children he is quite fond of. However, here comes their vagrant father, Mark Wahlberg, and the contest between the men begins with the kids in the middle. “Daddy’s House” is rated PG 13. Rating of 2.
Joy—Jennifer Lawrence leaves “The Hunger Games” behind to take on the role of the woman, Joy Mancuso, who invited the Miracle Mop. This is done here as a comedy in which on one believes in her. Robert DeNiro as her father, steals his scenes. “Joy” is rated PG 13. Rating of 3 for fans of the stars.
Point Break—The first film of this title starred Patrick Swayze as the villain who leads a group of thieves in a daring robbery. Now, in this remake Luke Bracey is the hero and Edgar Ramirez, the villain, with plenty of airborne stunts as the team plans the big heist. “Point Break” is rated R. Rating of 2.
Snowden (opening in select cities)—Based on the life of Edward Snowden who leaked U.S. government secrets to “The Guardian” newspaper, it is directed by Oliver Stone. Joseph Gordon-Levitt stars as Snowden. Others in the cast include Zachary Quinto and Shailene Woodley. “Snowden” is rated PG 13. No rating.
Macbeth (opening in select cities)—Michael Fassbinder takes on the role of this king, who, with his wife Lady Macbeth (Marion Cottaild) uses murder to gain the throne of Scotland. This Shakespeare play is always a popular one and it uses the theme, of “is it worth it?” Well photographed. “Macbeth” is rated R. Rating of 2.
The Big Short—A look at the banking situation in 2008 with a humorous take on greed. Brad Pitt, Steve Carell (steals the film) and Ryan Gosling are part of a group that decides to go with the man who figured out how to bet on failing mortgages. Christian Bale plays Dr. Michael Burry, the Pied Piper who leads everyone down the path. “The Big Short” is rated R. Rating of 3 for fans.
Youth—A beautifully photographed film with quite a catch at the end. Michael Caine and Harvey Kietel are in their 80’s in this film, and looking back at their lives with it’s good things and bad things. Rachel Weicz is Caine’s daughter. Lovely soundtrack. “Youth” is rated R. Rating of 3 for fans.
Legend—Supposedly this film is finally being released and stars Tom Hardy as twin brothers, Ron and Reggie Kray, who ruled London gangland in the 1980’s. Quite a performance for Hardy who also shines in “The Revenant” as the villain there. In “Legend,” the East Side of London stays with its own. “Legend” is rated R. Rating of 3 for fans.
Revenant—A brutally photographed film of one man’s survival in winter, in the northland about 1830. Leonardo DiCaprio is this man, who was mauled by a bear and left for dead by his traveling companions. One of which, knew he was still alive. A study in the brutality of man. “Revenant” means someone who comes back. The film “Revenant” is rated a strong R. Rating of 3 for fans.
The Hateful Eight—Quentin Tarentino’s film of eight people, in the 19th century, who wait out a blizzard. One is a sheriff, another the prisoner, and so on. The eight personalities begin to get on each others nerves. Stars include Jennifer Jason Leigh, Kurt Russell, Samuel L. Jackson and Tom Roth. “The Hateful Eight” is rated R. No rating.
Where To Invade Next (opening in select cities)—This is a tongue-in-cheek documentary by Michael Moore in which he visits countries around the world and tries to learn something that he could bring back to America. These include a different view of the prison system and free college education, also more paid vacation time. “Where To Invade Next” is rated PG 13. Rating of 2.
DECMEBER 30, 2015…
Anomalisa (opening in select cities)—From the director who did “Being John Malkovich” (Charlie Kaufman) is a new film starring Jennifer Jason Leigh and David Thewlis. The premise is about a guy who is somewhat sad and meets the girl of his dreams. Story told with animation, also. “Anomalisa” is rated R. No rating. And this ends the year.
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