PRINT VERSION OF TODAY’S PREP: 20170212
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WELCOME TO THE SHOW!
What a busy weekend coming up! I am SO looking forward to shaking the first can of Desenex at the annual (SMALL TOWN) Foot Fungus Festival!
I’m all for hiring the disabled, but we need to draw the line at hiring the blind to drive the snowplows. They’ve knocked my mailbox over twice now. (I apologize if I’ve offended any blind snowplow drivers.)
I hate when we’re under a “Parking Snow Emergency”. Yesterday I had to park on the odd side of the street, today it’s the even side. If it happens tomorrow I might just leave my car in the garage.
“If you dream a thing more than once, it’s sure to come true.” –Walt Disney ***So one day I truly am going to be dating Christie Brinkley? My wife is NOT going to like this…
Even if I’m playing Solitaire, I still hear sports commentators in my head with a play-by-play. Is that unusual?
BIBLE VERSE OF THE DAY
“Be strong and courageous, do not be afraid or tremble at them, for the LORD your God is the one who goes with you. He will not fail you or forsake you.” –Deuteronomy 31:6
If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing. — 1 Corinthians 13:1-3
The tongue that brings healing is a tree of life, but a deceitful tongue crushes the spirit. — Proverbs 15:4
HEARTLIGHT DAILY VERSE, PRAYER & THOUGHT
So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them. — Genesis 1:27
Thought: We are made in God’s image. Not just the man. Not just the woman. Both male and female are made in God’s image! Incredibly, this is not just true before the Fall. When God made us in the womb of our mothers (Psalm 139:13-16), he made us in his image (Genesis 9:6). Because people are precious to God, because we reflect something of the character of our Creator, each person is to be valued. None is to be denigrated, belittled, or cursed (James 3:9-12). People are precious, not only to God, but also to us because in some special way they reflect his image.
Prayer: Almighty Creator, please help me value each person I meet today because I am consciously aware that you have individually made them to reflect your character and nature. At the same time, bless me with spiritual growth as I consciously submit myself to your Spirit as you transform me to be more like you each day. In Jesus’ name I pray. Amen.
“BIRTHDAY VERSE” OF THE DAY (The chapter and verse correspond to the month and day!)
1 Corinthians 2:12 NIV = We have not received the spirit of the world but the Spirit who is from God, that we may understand what God has freely given us.
TODAY IS SUNDAY – FEBRUARY 12, 2017
(NOTE: Some holidays may be duplicated due to various calendars reporting conflicting dates)
WEIRD, WACKY, STRANGE, ZANY, ODD, BIZARRE, QUIRKY, UNUSUAL HOLIDAYS!
THERE ARE ONLY 315 SHOPPING DAYS UNTIL CHRISTMAS.
Today is CHOCOLATE DAY. ***As if you won’t get enough on Valentine’s Day.
Today is MAN DAY. ***And we don’t want chocolate – we want lasagna!
Today is PICK A NEW LOVE SONG DAY. ***I’m not sure I understand this one. It makes it sound like the first love song you picked wasn’t good enough.
This is NATIONAL RESURRECT ROMANCE WEEK. ***But then, they can’t trust us to pick a decent love song the first time around, so what hope do we have?
COMING UP NEXT (Just a list, we are not endorsing the holidays posted below.)
MONDAY, FEBRUARY 13
Clean Out Your Computer Day Link
Desperation Day Link
Employee Legal Awareness Day
Galentine’s Day Link
Get a Different Name Day
International Condom Day Link
Madly In Love With Me Day
National Wingman’s Day
World Radio Day Link
TUESDAY, FEBRUARY 14
Extraterrestrial Culture Day
Extraterrestrial Visitor Day
Ferris Wheel Day
International Book Giving Day Link
Frederick Douglass Day Link
Pet Theft Awareness Day Link
Library Lovers Day
National Have A Heart Day
National Donor Day
(World) Congenital Heart Defect Awareness Day Link
League of Women Voters Day
National Women’s Heart Day Link
Race Relations Day
Safer Internet Day Link
Singles Awareness Day or Singles Appreciation Day Link
National Donor Day
Quirky Alone Day Link
WEDNESDAY, FEBRUARY 15
THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 16
FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 17
SATURDAY, FEBRUARY 18
Battery Day (Volta’s birthday)
Cow Milked While Flying In An Airplane Day
Eat Ice Cream for Breakfast Day Link
National Drink Wine Day Link
National Hate Florida Day: 18 Link
Pluto Day (Discovered by Clyde Tombaugh)
World Whale Day Link
SUNDAY, FEBRUARY 19
MONDAY, FEBRUARY 20
ON THIS DAY
1870: The Utah territory granted its women the right to vote.
1878: U.S. patent #200,358 was issued to Frederick Thayer for his baseball catcher’s mask. It was similar to one worn by cowboys to keep from being kicked in the face while branding cattle.
1924: Paul Whiteman and his orchestra premiered “Rhapsody in Blue” at Carnegie Hall. The soloist was George Gershwin.
1940: “The Adventures of Superman” debuted on the Mutual Radio Network, starring Bud Collyer as the Man of Steel. The comic book character had been created in 1938 by two Toronto teenagers, Jerry Siegel and Joe Shuster.
1981: A Houston woman described as “rather large” was sentenced to 10 years in prison for trying to steal two fur coats and a color TV set from a department store by hiding them between her legs. Police dubbed the shoplifter “The Bowlegged Gang.”
1984: Charles Jones of McGehee, Arkansas, joined the Philadelphia 76ers. His brothers, Wilbert, Caldwell, and Major, already were NBA veterans. Two other brothers were drafted, but never made the NBA. The six Jones brothers were 6-8, 6-9, 6-9, 6-9, 6-10, and 6-11.
1994: A Montreal woman sued a local funeral home and a hospital after the funeral home called to offer its services just 3½ hours after she had been diagnosed at the hospital with skin cancer.
1998: At a Los Angeles auction, the Lund Foundation paid $442,500 for the lyrics to Elton John’s “Candle in the Wind 1997,” written in memory of Princess Diana. The foundation supports educational and youth programs.
1999: The U.S. Senate voted to acquit President Clinton of perjury and obstruction of justice; the President said he was “profoundly sorry” for what he’d said and done in the Monica Lewinsky affair.
2000: Two popular Americans died: Charles Schulz, creator of the ”Peanuts” comic strip, died in California at age 77. Football coach Tom Landry, who led the Dallas Cowboys to five Super Bowls, died in Texas at age 75.
2001: A federal appeals court ruled the Internet service Napster could not allow users to swap copyrighted music without charge.
2002: A six-year-old boy ate the first meal of his life after having a kidney transplant. The boy had been fed through a tube because of his serious medical conditions. From Covingham, England, the lad said he especially enjoyed the ketchup with his first meal, a burger. He had had 30 operations and regular dialysis until the transplant.
2004: Four men were charged in a 42-count indictment alleging steroid-distribution to provided performance-enhancing drugs to athletes in the NFL, major league baseball, and track and field.
TODAY IN CHRISTIAN HISTORY
1663: Congregational minister Cotton Mather is born in Boston. The most celebrated New England writer of his day, he was a scientist (whose work included early studies of inoculation), one of the founders of Yale University, and pastor of Boston’s Second Church (just as his father, Increase Mather, had been). He also wrote Wonders of the Invisible World, a description of the Salem witch trials.
1809: Abraham Lincoln, the sixteenth president of the United States and author of the Emancipation Proclamation, is born near Hodgenville, Kentucky.
1834: German theologian and philosopher Friedrich Schleiermacher dies. He made religion a matter of the will, defining it as feeling an absolute dependence on God in works including On Religion: Speeches to Its Cultured Despisers (1799).
1865: Presbyterian minister and militant abolitionist Henry Highland Garnet becomes the first African-American to address the U.S. House of Representatives.
1887: Dwight L. Moody organizes the Chicago Evangelical Society.
1915: Blind hymn writer Fanny Crosby dies at age 95 after writing more than 8,000 texts.
HOLLYWOOD AND CELEBRITY FIGURE BIRTHDAYS
actress (Speed Racer, Penelope, Cursed, The Addams Family Movie) Christina Ricci 37
actor (Milk, W, Mimic, “The Long Riders”) Josh Brolin 49
actress (Child’s Play 2, Body Snatchers, The Cactus Kid) Christine Elise 51
comedian/actor (Coming to America, “The Arsenio Hall Show”) Arsenio Hall 62 (audio clip)
actress (Girl Interrupted, Knocked Up, “Growing Pains”) Joanna Kerns is 63 (audio clip)
actor (Dukes of Hazzard movie, Joe Dirt, Tomorrow Never Dies, GoldenEye) Joe Don Baker 81
(Music Artist Birthdays From SongFacts.com)
1904 : Ted Mack
1914 : Tex Beneke
1915 : Lorne Greene
1923 : Mel Powell
1935 : Gene McDaniels
1939 : Ray Manzarek (The Doors)
1944 : Moe Bandy
1948 : Joe Schermie (Three Dog Night)
1949 : Stanley Knight (Black Oak Arkansas)
1950 : Steve Hackett (Genesis)
1959 : Omar Hakim (Weather Report)
1968 : Chynna Phillips (Wilson Phillips)
1970 : Jim Creeggan (Barenaked Ladies)
SECRETS OF THE UNIVERSE
Why are we so afraid of sharks, anyway?
Have you ever SEEN Jaws? Okay, well even if you haven’t, you still have the loan shark, card shark – they give sharks a bad name. According to experts on these things, there are more myths about sharks than just about any other living creature except, possibly, snakes. For instance, contrary to popular belief, most sharks pose no danger to people. (But only if they’re in the water and you’re on land, preferably home and in bed.) Supposedly, you’re safer swimming among sharks than driving a car. (What brand of car are we talking about? I bet they had a heck of a recall!) One zoologist has even declared that most sharks are “chinless cowards.” Maybe so. But I still think it is better to take a shark to lunch than the reverse.
CHRISTIAN ARTIST NEWS
This is just a tiny sample of the 5-6 pages of material you could be receiving three days a week from ChristianRadioShowPrepServices.com!
Mandisa on living an extraordinary life: You provide the ordinary; God will take care of the extra! https://www.instagram.com/p/BQNvhlJFWNB/
Switchfoot frontman Jon Foreman held an aftershow in the snow after the band’s show in Vancouver over the weekend. Jon continued to play just outside the band’s bus thanks to requests from two fans who worked especially hard to get to the concert. One tweeted: I made a two-day drive across Canada in a snowstorm to see you. The second added: came all the way from the Philippines for you guys.
Jonny Diaz says he had a pretty blessed childhood. He posted: The biggest disappointment I can remember was the XFL.
If you are a tailor Kutless member James Mead needs your help. The band’s guitarist is trying his hand at sewing and asked over the weekend: should I taper my jeans first, or adjust the hem/length first?
Dan Bremnes was back home in his native Canada over the weekend and posted a picture of a frozen river. Dan shared: This is Ottawa, Canada and this is how people get to work each day. And I’m not joking. https://twitter.com/danbremnes/status/827866556285730816/photo/1
Visiting Nashville? Now you can stay with Danny and Leyicet Gokey. Over the weekend Danny announced that the couple has purchased The Brentwood Bed and Breakfast. Danny says they purchased the B and B” because we LOVE to host. Our goal is that everyone experience rest, serenity, and tranquility and leave feeling refreshed! https://dannygokeynews.com/2017/02/03/brentwood-bed-n-breakfast-hosts-leyicet-danny-gokey/
Mercyme front man Bart Millard is no stranger to baseball. Bart is an outspoken fan of the Texas Rangers and the St. Louis Cardinals. But now Bart says he has a new best friend. Over the weekend Bart posted a picture with Ben Zobrist. Ben has been on the last two World Series winning teams, playing for the Kansas City Royals in 2015 and the Chicago Cubs in 2016. Bart says he’s a baseball stalker. https://www.instagram.com/p/BQEPUYqDFYc/
Jonny Diaz is a unique individual. He posted: Is it weird that I can actually taste my eyedrops? I mean…I guess it’s all connected somewhere in there.
(No news on the weekends. Want a customized audio version, FREE? Email me for more information! )
NEW NEWS KICKERS…
NEWS KICKER EVERGREENS…
AS THE JUNGLE TURNS
CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD MONDAY’S EPISODE
OPEN: And now, FancyMonkey.com, (Show Name), and (Station Call Letters) bring you As the Jungle Turns! When last we left the jungle, Racquet the Skunk was in a tizzy over losing all of his crayons – especially after promising the Rabbit family that he’d do their portrait. Unfortunately, his friends didn’t seem all that concerned about looking for lost crayons. Everything else was taking priority, like swimming, naps, snacks, and fort building!
CLOSE: Racquet is stuck in a deep dark scary jungle, and the animals are still more concerned about story time? This is getting really serious. Will Racquet be okay in the jungle all alone? Will the crayons ever be found? Will the animals ever stop thinking of themselves? Find out next time, as FancyMonkey.com, (Show Name), and (Station Call Letters) bring you another exciting episode of As the Jungle Turns!
***You may simulcast “As the Jungle Turns” on the Internet stream of your live broadcast only. Any other Internet use of “As the Jungle Turns” in whole or part including podcasting of your live broadcast is a violation of copyright law. Thank you for your cooperation on this vitally important issue. If you have any questions, please e-mail us and ask about “Jungle Jam & Friends the Radio Show” usage.
MOMENT OF DUH
The love of money may be the cause for all kinds of evil – but it’s also a great catalyst for a Moment of Duh!
In Valparaiso, Indiana, 24-year-old Wal-Mart employee Christopher Sheets is in hot water after repeatedly making purchases to get change from a self-service cash register that was dispensing $20 bills instead of $1 bills. Rather than notify his supervisors of the problem like a good employee would do, greedy Chris made 10 purchases in a 4 1/2 hour period and got about $600 in change. A store security official later discovered that the $20 and $1 bills were loaded in the wrong slots of the self-service register after another customer complained that the machine gave a $1 bill in change instead of a $20. ***MARLAR: Chris ain’t workin’ at Wal-Mart no mo’.
TOP TEN TIPS FOR VALENTINE’S DAY
10. To win her heart, order something from “flannel jammies” section in the Sears’ Catalogue.
9. Surprise your Valentine by waking her up with a kiss from her favorite reptile
8. Those little cinnamon hearts are great for de-icing a slippery sidewalk
7. If you receive a card from “Guess Who” you had better guess right.
6. You might want to cancel that week-long bass fishing trip with your buddies
5. Reject that invitation to the daytime talk show.
4. A pizza and pay per view wrestling by candle light does not constitute a romantic date.
3. When buying chocolates, avoid anything called a “blue fuzz special”
2. Remember to take the Wal-Mart price tag off of the flowers.
1. If you’re trying to pass off that dried-up fire hazard in your living room as a “Valentine’s Tree”, it’s probably about time you finish taking down your Christmas decorations.
THE FILES OF LAW & DISORDER
We’d all love to name our own price for items at Wal-Mart, but dreaming about it and then actually doing could be the difference between freedom and jail.
FILE #1: Police arrested an Arkansas man for allegedly slapping his own bar codes on cans of baby formula at a Wal-Mart Super Center in Rogersville. The list price is anywhere between $10 and $20 and he was putting bar codes on them that said that each can was only $1.89. A search warrant revealed that Brahim Abdel-Vetah had $15,000 worth of formula in his van – that’s 1,000 cans – all from different stores throughout Indiana, Kentucky and Ohio. ***MARLAR: After being questioned by police, Brahim said, “I was just naming my own price like they do on Priceline.COM!
FILE #2: Goldonna, Louisiana’s Charles Chase Nobles was only arrested once, but he’s already looking at two strikes against him. After getting a call from a neighbor, police arrested Nobles for breaking into a house. Officers found Nobles inside the home, sitting at the computer where he was attempting to make counterfeit money.
FILE #3: It takes more than a great disguise to be a great bank robber. 18-year-old Jesse Federman has been charged with robbing a bank in Adams, New York. Jesse thought out his crime well enough to make sure he wore a ski mask so no one could identify him. Unfortunately, he didn’t think to conceal his getaway car – or its license plate. Witnesses got a good look at both, which belonged to Jesse, and police tracked him down at home 45 minutes later.
STRANGE LAW: In South Dakota it’s illegal to lie down and fall asleep in a cheese factory. ***Is that considered laying provolone?
THIS IS YOUR BRAIN ON DRUGS
A universal remote doesn’t necessarily mean it will control everything.
Folks in Brisbane, Australia got the scare of their lives when 57-year-old Geoffrey Fryatt threatened to blow up half the city using his television remote! Geoff was very drunk at the time and had the whole city in panic with the police declaring a state of emergency when he reportedly shouted at the top of his voice, “One push of the button will blow up half of Brisbane.” He claimed his remote controlled some explosives planted in a nearby store of chemicals. A lawyer representing Mr. Fryatt told the Brisbane District Court that his client had been drinking too much lately after losing a huge amount from his life savings in a fraud scam.
A recent study said ladies’ purses should weigh 5 pounds or less to avoid back injury. How much does your purse weigh? And if it’s more than five pounds, what’s in there that is so vitally important?
BIBLE BRAIN BUSTER!
QUESTION: In First Timothy, Paul wrote that he had left Timothy in what city?
ANSWER: Ephesus (1 Timothy 1:3)
QUESTION: Due to tectonic shifts, Mt. Everest keeps moving northeast every year. How far northeast has it moved since this time last year?
ANSWER: Two inches.
TRUE OR FALSE
Pay attention! If our next player doesn’t answer all ten T/F questions correctly we start all over from question #1! First person to answer question #10 correctly is our winner!
1. Coffee, as a world commodity, is greater than oil. (False – but it comes in second to oil.)
2. Dolphins sleep with one eye open. (True)
3. A company in Taiwan makes dinnerware out of corn, so you can eat your plate. (False – they make it out of wheat.)
4. Marvin Gardens in the Monopoly game is not spelled the same as the Marven Gardens outside of Atlantic City, NJ, which the board game is based on. (True)
5. The American Typers Association has made a new punctuation mark called an interrobang. (True. They did it in 1967. It was a combination of the question mark and an exclamation point. It was rarely used and hasn’t been seen since.)
6. The official name of the St. Louis Gateway Arch is “The Jefferson National Expansion Monument.” (True)
7. The Gateway Arch looks taller than it is wider, but it is actually wider than it is taller. (False – it’s exactly 630 feet by 630 feet.)
8. There are more Samoans in Los Angeles than on American Samoa. (True)
9. There is an ATM machine at McMurdo Station in Antarctica, which has a winter population of 200. (True)
10. The opening to the cave in which a bear hibernates is always on the north-slope. (False – it’s always on the north slope, unless the bear lives in the southern hemisphere.)
TABLOID MATCH GAME
You have to match the blank in the tabloid headline with the word or phrase that has been removed!
THE WAY TOO EARLY IN THE MORNING TO UNDERSTAND THE PUNCHLINE EVEN AFTER TWO CUPS OF COFFEE JOKE OF THE DAY
The husband had just finished reading a new book, called “You Can Be The Man Of Your House“.
He stormed into the kitchen and walked directly up to his wife. Pointing a finger in her face, he said sternly, “From now on, YOU need to know that I AM the MAN of this house, and my word is law! You will prepare me a gourmet meal tonight, and when I’m finished eating my meal, you will serve me a sumptuous dessert afterward. After dinner, you are going to run me my bath so I can relax. You will wash my back and towel me dry and bring me my robe. Then, you will massage my feet and hands. Then after that’s all done, guess who’s going to dress me and brush my hair?”
His wife replied, “My guess would be the funeral director.”
The District Attorney stared at the jury, unable to believe its verdict.
Bitterly he asked, “What possible excuse could you have for acquitting this man?”
The foreman answered, “Insanity.”
The D.A. said, “All twelve of you?”
The Sunday school teacher was carefully explaining the story of Elijah the Prophet and the false prophets of Baal. She explained how Elijah built the altar, put wood upon it, cut the steer in pieces and laid it upon the altar. And then Elijah commanded the people of God to fill four barrels of water and pour it over the altar. He had them do this four times.
“Now, said the teacher, “can anyone in the class tell me why the Lord would have Elijah pour water over the steer on the altar?”
Little Johnny raised his hand with great enthusiasm. “To make the gravy,” came his enthusiastic reply.
A British woman who suffered muscle spasms in her vocal chords was able to speak again for the first time in 14 years after getting Botox injected around her voice box. ***Her husband is threatening to sue.
The latest trend among overbearing parents is to call job interviewers and demand to know why their kids weren’t hired. ***Maybe because the parents were so overbearing that they were actually AT the interview?
At breakfast one day, I eagerly waited for John to comment on my first attempt at homemade cinnamon rolls.
After several minutes with no reaction, I asked, “If I baked these commercially, how much do you think I could get for one of them?”
Without looking up from his newspaper John replied, “About 10 years.”
IT MUST BE TRUE BECAUSE I HEARD IT ON THE RADIO!
DON’T EAT THAT CHOCOLATE!
Planning on giving chocolates to your sweetie? You might want to know what’s in that chocolate first.
Before you give someone chocolates for Valentine’s Day, consider that KTVT-TV in Dallas tested several brands, including a bargain box at Target, Whitman, Russell Stover, Hershey and even a $44 box of Godivas. All contained various foreign substances, including insect parts, clothing fibers and human hair. One contained metallic glitter, while the Godivas had clothing fibers, bug parts and cat hair. The good news: the lab said the pieces were all very tiny, it’s impossible to make any natural product completely clean, and our stomachs take care of microscopic contaminants like that. Also, they found no rodent hairs.
The church in the wilderness modeled the biblical pattern of oversight. Leaders of tens, fifties, hundreds, and thousands were selected to care for the basic needs of the people and to settle their disputes. As a result, Moses had to review only the most difficult cases and policies. His primary job was to commune with God and to teach the Word.
The apostles discovered this principle in the selection of deacons, which freed them to use their time “in prayer and preaching and teaching the word” (Acts 6:4). The early church not only met daily in the temple but also gathered “in homes for the Lord’s Supper, and shared their meals with great joy and generosity (Acts 2:46). Apostles, deacons, and church members all helped carry the load of the growing congregation.
Burned-out pastors and leaders are a testimony to the huge toll of counseling, visiting, and arbitrating required in the church today. In actuality, the pastor is not called to do all ministry, but he is “to equip God’s people to do his work and build up the church” (Ephesians 4:12). Pastors, bring them in, build them up, release their gifts, and send them out. In this way, you will be able to endure as Moses did.
By Larry Stockstill
DRIVE TIME DEVOTIONAL
By Mart De Haan
Lay aside all filthiness and overflow of wickedness, and receive with meekness the implanted Word. – James 1:21
She dressed in rags, lived in a tenement house amid mounds of garbage, and spent much of her time rummaging through trash cans. The local newspaper picked up her story after the woman who was known in her neighborhood as “Garbage Mary” had been admitted to a psychiatric hospital. Astonishingly, in her filthy apartment police found stock certificates and bankbooks indicating she was worth at least a million dollars.
This woman’s condition was heartbreaking. But from God’s point of view there are even more tragic examples of “wealthy” people who subsist on “garbage.” If Christians are controlled by lust, hate, envy, pride, impatience, or bitterness, they’re actually choosing to live off the refuse of the world.
This might be understandable if they had no resources to draw from. You’d expect that kind of behavior from people without faith in Christ. But that’s not the case for believers. We have the Word of truth and the help of the Holy Spirit. We have no excuse for groveling in the dirt of sin when the power of God is at our disposal.
Father, forgive us for eating “garbage” when You’ve prepared a banquet for us. Help us to “lay aside all filthiness” (James 1:21) and to feast on Your goodness.
Choose not the lowly paths of sin
When lofty heights before you rise;
God freely gives the power to win
The victor’s crown, the heavenly prize. —D. De Haan
One taste of God’s grace can make us lose our hunger for the world.
A Malaysian man has been arrested after allegedly boiling food and dirty underwear in the same pot! (Ewww.)
Health officials were about to search the food stand when the man allegedly pulled the underwear out of the cooking pot and threw it into the river. Some stand owners are said to think putting dirty underwear in their cooking pots attracts customers. The clothing was carried away by the river and could not be retrieved. A spokesman for a local health office says the man will be charged with obstructing enforcement officers. The offence carries a maximum of two years in jail. The spokesman said: “This method of using dirty underwear, which is believed to increase demand for food, is an untrue belief and must be stopped.” ***MARLAR: How did anyone think this was ever a GOOD idea?!? “Let’s see… I’ve got a hamburger, fries, soft drink… hmm… all we need now is dirty underwear and we’ll have the perfect picnic!”
LIFE… LIVE IT
CELEBRATION OF LOVE WEEK (FEBRUARY 11-17)
A professor at Bowling Green State University has done a number of studies on romantic behavior. He asked adults between the ages of 18 and 79 what the most romantic behavior is, and here’s the top ten:
Flowers (giving and receiving)
Dinner (out; making dinner for/with me; candlelight, wine, music, no kids)
The Hug (in bed after the alarm goes off; unexpected)
Sharing outdoor leisure activities (picnics, beach, ice skating, moonlight swim or drive, fishing, walk in the park)
Gifts (expensive; diamonds; jewelry; candy; unexpected or surprise gifts)
Walking (in the evening; at night; in the rain; in the moonlight)
Touching (hand on knee; pat on shoulder or hand; head in lap or sitting on lap; playing with hair, etc.)
JUST FOR FUN
SMOKE FREE ENVIRONMENT
It’s happened in one city… if you smoke you can’t work for the city of Temple Terrace, Florida! Will it come to our town?
Temple Terrace, Florida has adopted a policy of not hiring any city employees who smoke. Furthermore, if you’re now working there, you had better quit, or look for another job. If you smoke, you likely feel that this hiring policy is unfair… maybe even illegal! But the city of Temple Terrace obviously doesn’t agree with you. It’s all about a healthier and more productive work force, and reducing the cost of health insurance coverage. Smokers take more sick days. Smokers are ill more often. Smokers take too many breaks from work. Smokers drive up your health insurance costs. ***MARLAR: Personally, I love this idea, Because of smokers, the rest of us are stuck paying more for insurance. Also, we’re stuck doing their work when they take those sick days. You want to work here? Kick that absurd addiction!
There’s a lot of advice going around about what you SHOULD give your sweetie for Valentine’s Day. But equally important is what NOT to give her. Here’s a few examples. Do NOT give her:
A box of chocolates, clumsily rearranged in an attempt to hide the fact you ate all the caramel ones.
Any clothing item with the words “push-up” or “slim-down” on the label.
Any food item with the words “diet”, “light”, or “high fiber” on the label.
Any video starring Sylvester Stallone, Vin Diesel or Jim Carrey.
Flowers from a hospital’s gift shop — or worse, a mortuary’s.
Anything you ever gave another woman, including your mother.
Anything you could pick up at a hardware store.
Anything you could have bought at the gas station mini-mart on the way over, even if you didn’t.
A Hickory Farms cheese ball
A catchers mitt
Nose hair trimmers
Jewelry that comes in a plastic bubble from a supermarket
Frozen tater tots
Anything from a drug store
A chilled bottle of Mop and Glow
Anything that says “one size fits all”
A toilet brush
Leftover Halloween candy
A Valentine balloon on a broken stick
An extension cord with a bow on it
A “Star Trek” calendar
An apologetic look and the words, “That was today?”
MORE SHOW PREP STUFF…
DRIVING MISS DAISY
What kind of driving persona do you have? Mean Maureen? Terry the Tailgater? Arrogant Andy? Steve the Speedaholic? Daphne the Ditherer? According to one company, everyone falls into at least one of those personas!
According to Petrol Company, JET, when you get behind the wheel you automatically fit into one of the following personality patterns. Are you:
“Mean Maureen” – tight-lipped, avoiding eye contact and absolutely refuse to let anyone else in.
“Terry the Tailgater” – sits on your tail and tries to intimidate you to get out of the way.
“Arrogant Andy” – a queue jumper who zips up the outside or uses the hard shoulder, to push in at the last minute.
“Steve the Speedaholic” – the person whose own ego will not let him slow down.
“Daphne the Ditherer” – crawls along at a snail’s pace, failing to signal clearly and stop-starting at every junction and roundabout.
OTHER STUFF I WANT TO CRAM INTO TODAY’S PREP
Name a star after him or her on Valentine’s Day (yes, they still do this).
Or make him or her a Scottish Lord or Lady!
Running out of Valentine’s Day ideas to show your love to your husband and kids? iMom is here to help. The web site is out with some fun, creative and dare we say unique Valentine’s Day ideas to show love to your husband and your kids. Included are:
5 Cute Ways to Say “I Love You” to Your Husband
The Real Story Behind Valentine’s Day
Valentine Family Game Show
Our Favorite Valentine’s Ideas for Kids Plus One for Your Man!
14 Day Kiss Your Husband Challenge
20 Fun Questions to Get to Know Him Better
19 Valentine’s Date Night Ideas
Here are 4 ways you can make Valentine’s Day and your marriage not about you but about your wife from All Pro Dad.
1. Set her apart.
2. Take on the hard stuff on her behalf.
3. Love her like you’d want to be loved.
4. Get close and intimate with her. Share your deepest feelings, concerns, fears, dreams
10 Creative and Simple Valentine’s Day Ideas for Spouses from Mark Merrill.
1. Take a canoe out on a lake.
2. Create a scavenger hunt around town or around the house.
3. Recreate your first date.
4. Cook a gourmet meal together.
5. Go ice skating.
6. Have a picnic and watch the sunset.
7. Rent a limo.
8. Take a road trip.
Valentine’s Day Ideas for Couples from Family Life Today
Make a book about why you love your spouse and why you are thankful for him/her.
Take your sweetie on a scavenger hunt.
After enjoying a candlelight dinner for two at home, give your spouse a massage and watch a romantic movie.
Surprise your spouse with a special getaway together.
Give your wife a dozen roses. On each stem attach a note for a future date—to do something that she would enjoy.
If possible, go on a date with your spouse to a restaurant that you enjoyed when you first met.
Have 11 roses delivered to your wife, and then give her a 12th yourself while reading her a love poem.
If you are separated across the miles, send a care package filled with things that are red.
Hide little heart candies in your spouse’s shoes, coat, car, etc.
Fill a jar with Valentine candy and notes for your spouse.
Write a poem for your spouse and frame it.
If possible, send a card postmarked in a town that has a romantic name such as Loveland, Colorado; Valentine, Texas; or Romance, Arkansas.
This Valentine’s Day you will probably either send or receive a Valentine from someone. More than a billion are expected to be given away in the United States alone. But just like many of our holidays, there’s a lot more behind it than just cards and gifts. There’s a true life story. It’s a story that teaches us a lot about the true meaning of love, sacrifice and commitment. Read the entire story of Valentines Day, as told on the Family First web site. http://bit.ly/1Ky2aeJ
The web site Family Minute is out with a list of Creative and Unique Types of Valentine’s Day Gifts. As a way to spur creative gift giving, the web site suggests things like the gift of memories, the gift of experience, the gift of time, and the gift of service. Ideas include everything from washing your spouses car to turning your home into a restaurant. Check out the entire list at http://bit.ly/1vw2j0S
With everyone focusing on couples now as we close in on Valentine’s Day, we haven’t forgotten about those of you who are single! Don’t despair – you’re not alone! If you’re waiting on that special someone in your life, here are SIX “P”s to waiting well…
1. Priorities. What or whom are you putting first in your life?
3. Passion. Live your dreams now.
4. Perseverance. trust in the One who loves you most to bring what is best!
5. Praise. Thank God for all he has done and is doing in your life.
6. Peace. God is sovereign. He is in control and He knows what He’s doing.
See each of these points in-depth at http://bit.ly/1FLkQLy
Taking brief, frequent breaks at work is a good thing, providing improved energy and well-being. Workers who get up and walk around the office, talk to colleagues or do something else they enjoy have more stamina and fewer aches and pains, reports HealthDay News of research from Baylor University’s Hankamer School of Business in Waco, Texas. It’s all about recharging. Unlike cellphones that run optimally until their batteries die, people “have to charge more frequently before we deplete all the way,” said lead study author Emily Hunter. Although Hunter’s team was unable to pinpoint the exact number or length of breaks to be taken for optimal benefit, they did discern that the timing of the breaks is important. Basically, a morning break is ideal. Those who took a few minutes away from their desks earlier in the day had more energy and motivation to work later in the day. They were also better able to concentrate and experienced fewer headaches and less eyestrain. So… embrace your inner slacker!
Having a hard time waking up? Grab your smartphone! *** Shine a light through your morning fog. A Swedish study suggests that looking at your smart phone can help jolt you awake. People exposed to an hour of blue light (a form of light emitted from phones and tablets) performed faster on a visual test of reaction times than those given 240 milligrams of caffeine the equivalent of two to three cups of coffee. The reason: Exposing your retinas to blue light seems to rouse brain regions that affect alertness and cognitive function. Looking at the screen of your phone or tablet in the morning may have a similar but less intense effect.
If you thought PG-13 movies were less violent than R-rated flicks, think again. New research found that gun violence in PG-13 action movies is on the rise with Hollywood increasingly relying on shoot-’em-up scenes to fill seats. Building on an earlier study, they sampled 30 top-grossing films between 2012 and 2015 to determine the number of five-minute segments in which a character fires a gun at someone. Writing in the journal Pediatrics, they report the rate of gun violence in PG-13 movies in 2012 equaled that of R-rated films, restricted to 17 and older, and outpaced those films in later years. Kids of all ages are allowed into cinemas showing PG-13 movies, though parents are “strongly cautioned.” Some of the most violent PG-13 films were some of the most popular like 2015’s Star Wars: the Force Awakens.” Previous research has shown that repeated exposure to violence on screen can make kids more aggressive. The researchers say, until more is known pediatricians should advise parents “to be cautious about exposing their children” to violent films. (Pediatrics)
So you think being tough with your child’s doctor is the best way to make sure he gets proper healthcare? That’d be a big fat noooooo! New research from the University of Florida shows that rude parents can cause serious, even deadly, consequences for their kids. Their findings are that doctors and nurses performed as much as 40% worse when confronted with angry and rude parents. Study co-author Amir Erez said while there is much concern about medical errors, the third-leading cause of death in the U.S. is medical professionals are “not paying attention at all to the effect that social interactions can have on performance.” In the end, the lesson is that doctors and nurses are people too and find it harder to work when they’re being emotionally abused. (CBS News) ***So the next time you’re in the emergency room with a loved one, be sure to be polite to the nurses and doctors – it could save your loved one’s life!
Why do we yawn? It’s not what you think! *** Yawning does not occur because you are tired, bored or even need oxygen. Instead yawning helps to regulate the brain’s temperature by cooling it. That is the theory proposed by Gary Hack, DDS of the University of Maryland School of Dentistry and Andrew Gallup, PhD of Princeton University. “The brain is exquisitely sensitive to temperature changes and therefore must be protected from overheating,” the authors write in the journal Medical Hypotheses. “Brains, like computers, operate best when they are cool.” How does yawning cool the brain? Hack and Gallup think the walls of the human maxillary sinus flex during yawning like a bellows, which in turn facilitates brain cooling.
Want the perfect Valentine for the man in your life? The web site iMom has some full color coupons that you can print and present to your husband. Download your copy at http://bit.ly/1za6GJy.
The world’s most annoying sound is whining. You know, that high-pitched, protracted whining sound that most teenagers, many children and even some dogs have perfected is the most annoying sound in the world, according to researchers. They asked volunteers to compute basic math problems while they were listening to what is often considered the most distracting and irritating sounds. These included a baby crying, a high-pitched buzz saw, nagging, silence, regular speech, baby talk and whining. The results: For many, the sound of whining was actually ranked worse than a buzz saw. In addition, the volunteers made more errors on the math problems when they were listening to the whining than any other irritating sound. And this was true for both men and women.
Think that coupon clipping is beneath you? You’re throwing away real money. Coupon experts say if you spend 20 minutes a week clipping coupons, you’ll probably save $1,500 to $2,000 a year.
AND I LEAVE YOU WITH THIS THOUGHT
Fashions for today’s show by Frederick’s of Fort Bragg, where this week only you can save 50% on black nylon fatigues.
THE TICKET Movie Reviews with MARIE ASNER
Marie Asner has been reviewing films for over 35 years. Her outlets include radio, print and Internet. For more in-depth movie reviews of the following films, visit www.Tollbooth.org. Ratings from 1 (Low) to 5 (High).
FEBRUARY 10, 2017…
The Lego Batman Movie—It had to happen. Legos are so popular that now “Batman” has gotten into the craze and done a Lego movie. What next? “Gone With The Wind” with Lego’s? Not out of the realm of possibility. In this “Batman” film, he has to learn to work together with others (no longer the lone Caped Crusader”). Voices of Will Arnett, Michael Cera and Rosario Dawson. “The Lego Batman Movie” is rated PG. Rating of 2 for fans.
John Wick: Chapter Two—Who would have thought the character of John Wick would become popular, too. Such is the case of this Keanu Reeves film in which he comes out of retirement to foil a secret plot. Aren’t they all. “John Wick: Chapter Two” is rated R. Rating of 2 for fans.
Fifty Shades Darker—The books were best sellers, but are the films continuing so? At least, another one has been made with the same characters starring Dakota Johnson and Jamie Dorman. In this episode, they have a new “arrangement?” Read between the lines. “Fifty Shades Darker” is rated R and is an adult movie. No rating.
FEBRUARY 17, 2017…
Fist Fight stars Ice Cube and Charlie Day as two teachers with a grudge.
Toni Erdmann is a foreign film in which the father disguises himself as a woman to spy on his teenage daughter
The Great Wall is an action film about China’s Great Wall and stars Matt Damon.
A Cure For Wellness is a thriller about a mysterious spa. Stars Dane DeHaan.
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Darren Marlar credits all non-original material to the author whenever possible. All other material is original, used with permission, or author unknown. We welcome all comments, questions, and suggestions. Darren can be reached via his website at www.DarrenMarlar.com.