February 14, 2016: Sunday ONAIRprep (VALENTINE’S DAY)

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My wife and I will be going out for a Valentine’s dinner tonight.  It always reminds me of the first Valentine’s Day dinner we had together.  It was very romantic; it was my very first Whopper by candlelight.

 

Happy Unimaginative Consumerist-oriented and Entirely Arbitrary and Manipulative and Shallow Interpretation of Romance Day!

 

 

BIBLE VERSE OF THE DAY

“Love does no wrong to a neighbor; therefore love is the fulfillment of the law.” – Romans 13:10

 

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. — 1 Corinthians 13:4-5

 

 

HEARTLIGHT DAILY VERSE, PRAYER & THOUGHT

(From VerseOfTheDay.com)

Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. — Ephesians 4:29

 

Thought: We can use our words to be cute. We can use our words to appear impressive. We can use our words to win arguments. We can use our words to defend ourselves. We can use our words to lie and distort. We can use our words to do many things, but God wants us to use our words to bless. So when we speak, if our words do not bless and benefit those to whom we direct them, then we are to simply not say anything. Grandma was right. “If you can’t say something nice, then don’t say anything at all.”

 

Prayer: Give me wisdom today, dear God, to speak words that bless my family, my co-workers, and those I meet. I want to be truthful, loving, kind, and merciful when I open my mouth and speak. May the words of my mouth be used in your service and to your glory today, dear LORD. In Jesus’ name I pray. Amen.

 

The Thoughts and Prayers for Today’s Verse are written by Phil Ware. You can email questions or comments to phil@heartlight.org.

 

 

BIRTHDAY VERSE” OF THE DAY

The chapter and verse corresponds to the month and the day!

2 Corinthians 2:14 NIV = But thanks be to God, who always leads us as captives in Christ’s triumphal procession and uses us to spread the aroma of the knowledge of him everywhere good…

 

 

TODAY IS SUNDAY – FEBRUARY 14, 2016

(NOTE: Some holidays may be duplicated due to various calendars reporting conflicting dates)
WEIRD, WACKY, STRANGE, ZANY, ODD, BIZARRE, QUIRKY, UNUSUAL HOLIDAYS!
THERE ARE ONLY 314 SHOPPING DAYS UNTIL CHRISTMAS.   

 

Today is RACE RELATIONS DAY. *** Personally, I’d recommend finding the oldest and slowest relative you can so when you do race you can win easily.

 

Today was once known as the FEAST DAY OF ST. VALENTINE, the patron saint of lovers. Father Valentine was beheaded in Rome on this date in 269. The church dropped the feast from its liturgical calendar in 1969.  *** Why we’d choose to discontinue doing anything with the word “feast” in it, I’ll never know – that sounds like a reason to keep it going if you ask me.

 

Today is NATIONAL CALL IN SINGLE DAY.  *** The only day of the year when it’s perfectly legitimate to call in and say you’re not coming in to work.  It’s too much of a burden going to work on Valentine’s Day if you don’t have a valentine.  You get tired of answering the same question over and over and over – “So what are you doing for Valentine’s Day?”  Well, there is one solution.  Create an imaginary valentine.  According to research, people will do almost anything to avoid people knowing they’re alone today.  In fact, according to Amazon.com, as many as one in nine Valentines being delivered this year are sent by the same person that is receiving them. About that same number of cards are also stolen from someone else just so the person can have a valentine.  (Wow… talk about stealing someone’s heart!)

 

It’s LIBRARY LOVERS DAY.  ***People without dates on Valentine’s Day apparently need somewhere to hide so they won’t be seen.  What better place than a library?

 

Today is VALENTINE’S DAY and NATIONAL HAVE A HEART DAY.  *** One promotes romance; the other promotes eating your vegetables.  And if you’re a man who did not know today was Valentine’s Day… well… it was nice knowing you.

 

Today is INAPPROPRIATE ROMANTIC GIFT DAY.  On this day in 1991, for Valentine’s Day, President George H. Bush gave First Lady Barbara a small electronic thesaurus and dictionary. *** I’m guessing he needed government protection on that day more than any other day of his presidency.

 

Today is HUG DAY.  *** No amount of which will do you any good if you forgot today was Valentine’s Day or if you gave your wife the romantic gift of a small electronic thesaurus.

 

Today is PET THEFT AWARENESS DAY.  ***If it requires a special day set aside to make you aware your pet has been stolen, you don’t deserve to have a pet at all.

 

 

TODAY IS ALSO. . .

Autism Day

Batman Sticker Day

Ferris Wheel Day

International Book Giving Day

Frederick Douglass Day

National Have a heart Day

Congenital Heart Defect Awareness Day

League of Women Voters Day

National Women’s Heart Day

Race Relations Day

Singles Awareness Day (Singles Appreciation Day)

National Donor Day

Quirky Alone Day

Valentine’s Day

World Marriage Day

 

 

COMING UP NEXT

MONDAY, FEBRUARY 15

Clean Out Your Computer Day

Angelman Syndrome Day

Grammy Awards

Lupercalia

National Gum Drop Day

National Hippo Day

Presidents Day

Remember the Maine Day

Susan B. Anthony Day

 

TUESDAY, FEBRUARY 16

Kyoto Protocol Day

National Almond Day

 

WEDNESDAY, FEBRUARY 17

Champion Crab Races Day

My Way Day

National PTA Founders Day

World Human Spirit Day

 

THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 18

Battery Day

Cow Milked While Flying In An Airplane Day

Eat Ice Cream For Breakfast Day

The Great American Spit Out

National Drink Wine Day

National Hate Florida Day

Pluto Day

 

FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 19

Best Friends Day (Spongebob Squarepants)

Chocolate Mint Day

National Lashes Day

Women in Blue Jeans Days

Iwo Jima Day

 

SATURDAY, FEBRUARY 20

Love Your Pet Day

Northern Hemisphere Hoodie Hoo Day

World Day for Social Justice

 

SUNDAY, FEBRUARY 21

International Mother Language Day

World Information Architecture Day

Daytona 500

 

MONDAY, FEBRUARY 22

87th Academy Awards Ceremony

Museum Advocacy Day

National Margarita Day

Woolworth’s Day

World Thinking Day

George Washington’s Birthday

Tex Avery Day

 

 

ON THIS DAY

1920: The League of Women Voters was founded in Chicago, and Maude Wood Park was chosen as its first president.

 

1929: The “St. Valentine’s Day Massacre” occurred in Chicago garage as seven rivals of Al Capone’s gang were gunned down.

 

1972: “Grease” opened off-Broadway, where it ran for a decade and 3,388 performances. (audio clip)

 

1979: History’s oldest caged guinea pig, Snowball, died in Bingham, England, at age 14 years 10½ months.

 

1980: CBS announced that reporter Dan Rather had been chosen to succeed retiring “CBS Evening News” anchor Walter Cronkite.

 

1984: At Children’s Hospital in Pittsburgh, 6-year-old Stormie Jones of White Settlement, Texas, received the world’s first combination heart-liver transplant as her only hope of overcoming a genetic disorder. Stormie died November 11, 1990, at age 13. Students at her school renamed the gymnasium in her honor, and Texas named a newly discovered wildflower “Stormie Jones” because it was “small, beautiful, and tough.”

 

1988: Connecticut teacher Catherine Pollard received official permission from the all-male Boy Scouts to become a troop scoutmaster. She had unofficially led her son’s Boy Scout troop from 1970-74.

 

1990: Friends of Beer was founded in Czechoslovakia as a political party with a platform of improving the quality of Czech beer while forcing down the price. (audio clip)

 

1991: For Valentine’s Day, President George Bush gave First Lady Barbara a small electronic thesaurus and dictionary.

 

1998: Singer T.G. Sheppard was best man for 35 different grooms at a Las Vegas hotel. The event was held for the winners of a national radio promotion for Sheppard’s song “She’s Gettin’ the Rock.”

 

1999: Theresa Mueller of Philadelphia announced that her $8.95 chocolate heart, life-size and shaped like a human heart, was her chocolate shop’s best-selling Valentine novelty ever. It even beat out the top-selling body-part novelty from 1998, a dozen chocolate noses.

 

1999: Singer Elton John guest-starred as his-animated-self on the Valentine’s Day episode of The Simpsons.

 

2001: Four rustlers removed the back seat from a 4-door Russian sedan and carried a dairy cow named Mashka 40 miles with her head sticking out the window to a village east of Moscow. Police arrested the four shortly after they sold the hot cow. Mashka survived.

 

2003: Dolly the cloned sheep was euthanized after premature aging and disease marred her short life and raised questions about the practicality of copying life. (audio clip)

 

 

TODAY IN CHRISTIAN HISTORY

270: According to tradition, Valentine, a priest in Rome during the reign of Claudius II, is beheaded along the Flaminian Way. One explanation for Valentine’s subsequent relationship to the romantic holiday is this: Claudius, seeking to more easily recruit soldiers, removed family ties by forbidding marriage. Valentine ignored the order and performed secret marriages—an act that led to his arrest and execution.

 

869: Cyril, “apostle to the Slavs,” dies. Creator of the Cyrillic alphabet (still used in Russia, Ukraine, Belarus, and elsewhere), translator of the Scriptures into Slavonic, and bishop, he worked with his brother, Methodius, who carried on the missionary work for another 15 years.

 

1014: Pope Benedict VIII crowns Henry II emperor. This layman pope, forced on the church by the powerful house of Tusculum that controlled Rome, defeated the Saracens.

 

1543: The Parliament of Paris orders Calvin’s Institutes publicly burnt, offended by Calvin’s Protestant views.

 

1760: Richard Allen, founder of the African Methodist Episcopal Church, is born. The first African-American ordained by the Methodist church, Allen also a co-founded the Free African Society, America’s first organization founded by blacks for blacks.

 

1892: Charles Henry Parkhurst preaches a sermon against Tammany Hall that stirs a flap and forces a clean up of corruption.

 

 

HOLLYWOOD, SPORTS AND CELEBRITY FIGURE BIRTHDAYS

  • Actor (Gremlins) Zach Galligan, 52
  • Actress (Agnes of God) Meg Tilly, 56
  • Actress (Carol Brady on “The Brady Bunch”) Florence Henderson, 82 (audio clip)

 

 

BEE-BOP BIRTHDAYS

(Music Artist Birthdays From SongFacts.com)

1931 : Phyllis McGuire (The McGuire Sisters)

1934 : Merl Saunders

1937 : Magic Sam

1939 : Razzy Bailey

1940 : Lillie Bryant (Billy and Lillie)

1943 : Eric Andersen

1943 : Maceo Parker

1945 : Vic Briggs (The Animals)

1946 : Doug Simril (The Steve Miller Band)

1947 : Tim Buckley

1950 : Roger Fisher (Heart)

1951 : Kenny Hyslop (Simple Minds)

1972 : Rob Thomas (Matchbox Twenty)

 

 

SECRETS OF THE UNIVERSE

VALENTINE VERSION! Why do we wear our hearts on our sleeves?

In the Middle Ages, young men and women drew names from a bowl to see who their valentines would be. They would wear these names on their sleeves for one week. To wear your heart on your sleeve now means that it is easy for other people to know how you are feeling.

 

 

CHRISTIAN ARTIST NEWS

Do you like the Christian Artist News you see below? It’s just a tiny sample of the 5-6 pages of material you could be receive every weekday… and it’s FREE!  Become one of their subscribers at ChristianRadioShowPrepServices.com!

 

Casting Crowns Jaun Devevo says his iPhone might be controlling his life. He posted: Day 3,145 with an iPhone. Autocorrect has now completely taken over my mind. I just type random letters and it tells me what I want to say.

 

Kutless member James Mead is branching out. He announced recently: I’ve been practicing making balloon animals lately. I can make two animals so far: a snake, and a worm.

 

Advice from Britt Nicole: Create, every single day.

 

Casting Crowns Mark Hall was wearing his youth pastor hat over the weekend. He posted: Middle school boys cabin at camp. It smells like corn chips and feet in here. And we all know there’s a fine line between the two.

 

Kutless member James Mead on his time off from touring: When I’m home I basically have the same schedule as a retired grandma…many of whom I’m currently shopping with at the grocery store.

 

Jamie Grace really likes chili. She posted on twitter: I just need the inventor of chili to know they’re a genius.

 

Dan Bremnes was part of a question and answer time on twitter this week. Here are some of his responses:

Q: what inspired you to pursue music?

A: inspired by bands like jars of clay and Delirious as well my youth pastor who taught guitar

Q: If you could choose anyone to record or tour with who would it be?

A: Got to tour with Tenth Avenue North and Crowder which were dreams come true. Switchfoot has always been a favorite too

Q: How do you suggest worship teams develop their own sounds.

A: Start by writing your own tunes. Even if they sound like others at first you’ll find your own sound as you experiment

Q: How did you and Britt meet?

A: We met in Youth Group

Q: What’s your favorite thing about being a music artist?

A: favorite thing is traveling. Seeing new places meeting new people

Q: What’s the best and worst part about touring?

A: I love everything about touring and in so blessed to do it. The only tough part is being away from my family.

Q: What was it like for you and your family to move from Canada to Nashville?

A: It was a big step of faith! Our son was only 2 months old and we started from scratch…. But… No regrets!

Q: Why drives you musically

A: I love sharing a message, and to worship.

 

Natalie Grant was asking for help this week. She tweeted: I know nothing about video games and my twins want one for their birthday. They’re turning 9. Which one? HELP!

 

Tobymac is out with a new interview as he heads out on the next let of his tour. He talks about everything from his team on stage to the fans to dealing with the fame that comes from being a well known artist on stage in front of thousands every night. Find out how Tobymac stays grounded in his life and in his spiritual walk. Watch the interview…

https://youtu.be/by3O9rV56bY

 

Citizenway’s Ben Calhoun taught Daniel Olsson to play guitar when he was 12 years old. This week he came full circle. Ben posted: Now he’s 19 and playing with Citizenway on the The Roadshow tour for his Judson University junior year internship.

https://www.instagram.com/p/BBlMT3zFutv/

 

 

NEWS KICKERS

(No news on the weekends.)

 

NEW NEWS KICKERS…

 

 

NEWS KICKER EVERGREENS…

According to the British Heart Foundation, 90% of women want a simple hug for Valentines Day instead of a costly present. ***Um… no offense to the British Heart Foundation, but if I were you, guys, I’d also have a gift — just in case.

 

Forget the candy or the roses. In China, the hot Valentine’s Day gift is matching nose jobs. The official newspaper China Daily reports couples are going under the knife together to get their noses and even their eyes done.  One young woman said her boyfriend loved the idea of matching noses and readily paid the 12-hundred dollars for the surgery.  Business at Shanghai’s plastic surgery clinics is up about 30 percent since the beginning of the month. ***MARLAR: Nothing says, “I love you” like a double dose of rhinoplasty.

 

 

WONDER WOMAN

CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD TODAY’S EPISODE… “Deaf People Earmuffs”

 

 

DAILY COMEDY CLIP

CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD TODAY’S EPISODE… Sally Boeke, “Kindergarten”

 

 

AS THE JUNGLE TURNS – WEEKDAY VERSION

CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD MONDAY’S EPISODE  
OPEN: Last time, Racquet the Skunk was commissioned to make new badminton racquets for Gruffy, Sully, and Nozzles.  But when he realized that they’d never have to buy more racquets after that, he designed them with a flaw so they break easily – meaning they’d have to buy new racquets, keeping Racquet in business.  Will his dishonesty pay off?  We’re about to find out…

 

CLOSE: Ah ha… looks like Racquet’s scheme is about to backfire on him.  I’m sure he didn’t mean for all of the racquets to break so soon.  Will he apologize to his friends and make it right, or will he try to get out of trouble by being dishonest again?  We’ll find out next time, as FancyMonkey.com, (Show Name), and (Station Call Letters) bring you As the Jungle Turns!

 

 

AS THE JUNGLE TURNS – SATURDAY/SUNDAY VERSION

CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD THE EPISODE FOR THE WEEKEND OF FEBRUARY 13/14

 

OPEN: And now, FancyMonkey.com, (Show Name), and (Station Call Letters) bring you As the Jungle Turns!  When last we left the jungle, Louis the lion – currently the king of the jungle – decided he didn’t want to be king.  So all of the animals went out searching all throughout the jungle to find a replacement king… someone to be king so Louis wouldn’t have to.  And it looks like they’re getting pretty close!
CLOSE: Being king of the jungle is an awful big responsibility… and it looks like it requires an awful big crown too!  But the crown doesn’t fit Louis, so there must be someone else around that can be king!  We’ll find out who next time, As the Jungle Turns!
***You may simulcast “As the Jungle Turns” on the Internet stream of your live broadcast only. Any other Internet use of “As the Jungle Turns” in whole or part including podcasting of your live broadcast is a violation of copyright law. Thank you for your cooperation on this vitally important issue. If you have any questions, please e-mail us and ask about “Jungle Jam & Friends the Radio Show” usage.

 

 

MOMENT OF DUH

A car maker tells its customers not to drive cars!

Kia, the Korean carmaker, is telling customers in the UK to not use the car they’ve just bought, but to travel by bicycle instead. The company has signed up to the British Government’s campaign to cut car traffic by including a 21-speed bicycle as a standard accessory on its latest car. Buyers are advised not to use their new car unless necessary, and to use the bike instead.  ***MARLAR: So years from now when someone asks you “why did that Kia car company go out of business?” you’ll know!  By the way, keep listening for (THE JOCK SHOW’S) next big promotion – we’ll be encouraging you to turn off your radio and watch TV instead!

 

 

TOP TEN

TOP TEN FUN TIPS FOR VALENTINE’S DAY

  • Surprise your Valentine by waking her up with a kiss from her favorite reptile
  • Those little cinnamon hearts are great for de-icing a slippery sidewalk
  • If you receive a card from “Guess Who” you had better guess right.
  • You might want to cancel that week-long bass fishing trip with your buddies
  • Reject that invitation to the Jerry Springer Show.
  • A pizza and pay per view wrestling by candle light does not constitute a romantic date.
  • When buying chocolates, avoid anything called a “blue fuzz special”
  • Remember to take the Wal-mart price tag off of the flowers.
  • If you’re trying to pass off that dried-up fire hazard in your living room as a “Valentine’s Tree”, it’s probably about time you finish taking down your Christmas decorations.
  • Buy her a treadmill for Valentine’s Day, because she’s been asking for one. (audio clip)

 

 

TOP TEN VALENTINE’S DAY CARDS THAT DIDN’T MAKE IT

  1. Let’s get to the heart of the problem
  2. YOU! Here’s a heart for you! — Everyone should have at least one!
  3. When I think of you, I think of Saint Valentine ’cause just like him, you’re such a martyr!
  4. I look’d around for hours just to find the perfect card. You know what? They don’t sell “I’m leaving you” Valentines!
  5. Without a heart our bodies would suffocate. Our relationship helps me appreciate that fact!
  6. In honor of the St. Valentine’s Day Massacre, may I remind you of our first date?
  7. Roses are red Violets are blue. I just embezzled the company’s funds, look me up in Peru!
  8. I’m hopelessly romantic — By that I mean it’s hopeless to think I will ever be romantic!
  9. In the currency of love, you’re a Mexican Peso!
  10. I may not love you enough, but Jesus loves you more!

 

 

THE FILES OF LAW & DISORDER

Visiting a friend in jail isn’t always the smartest thing to do.

 

FILE #1: Donnie Harvey stopped by to visit a friend in the York County Jail. His friend was in for armed robbery and unfortunately, Donnie was also wanted in the same case. Cops think he had stopped by to make sure his friend wasn’t going to “rat on him.” He won’t need to now. The cops arrested Donnie on his way out.

 

FILE #2: Ronald Cherry wanted to rob the Treasure Bay Casino in Biloxi, Mississippi, but was hoping they would deliver him the cash instead of going there himself! He called the casino and demanded they deliver $100,000 to his home within two hours otherwise he’d come down there with a gun! Like with any expected delivery, Ronald of course gave them his address. But unlike pizza places, casinos don’t deliver. The address he gave them, however, made it really easy for the police to arrest him.

 

FILE #3: A South Carolina man accused of stealing from a convenience store was caught pretty easily just as he started his getaway. Tom Bennett allegedly entered the store, grabbed two cases of drinks, and headed out the door. As Bennett jumped in his truck and drove off, he looked in his rear view mirror and noticed a store employee chasing him on foot – and catching up to him! Unfortunately for Bennett, he had run out of gas. A police officer arrived at the same time and took Bennett into custody.

 

STRANGE LAW: In Omaha, Nebraska in is illegal to burp in church.

 

 

THIS IS YOUR BRAIN ON DRUGS

It’s a special Valentine’s Day edition of “This Is Your Brain On Drugs!”

Near Amarillo, Texas state troopers stopped a driver from San Francisco and found a plastic bag in his car that contained nine pounds of heart-shaped Valentine’s chocolates. The cops tested the candy and found that it was filled with psilocybin, a psychedelic drug taken from mushrooms.  The Valentine chocolate had a street value of over $408,000. ***MARLAR: And even worse – seven billion calories.

 

 

PHONER PHUN

Ask listener what they gave their significant other for Valentine’s.  Sort who the “significant other” is by category – spouse, boy/girlfriend, etc.

 

Ask listener to share what they “really” wanted for Valentine’s and then what they actually got.

 

Ask listener to share if they could give the world a valentine, what it would be.

 

Have listener share favorite verse on the topic of love in the Bible.

 

Ask listener to share good Valentine ideas for those who may be “romantically challenged.”

 

 

BIBLE BRAIN BUSTER!

QUESTION: What two books of the Old Testament do not mention the name of God?
ANSWER: Esther and the Song of Solomon (Although a word for the name of God is not mentioned in these books, His power is seen and His presence is definitely felt!)

 

 

QUESTION IMPOSSIBLE

QUESTION: If you were to spell out numbers, how far would you have to count until you found the letter “A”?
ANSWER: One thousand

 

 

TRUE OR FALSE

Pay attention!  If our next player doesn’t answer all ten T/F questions correctly we start all over from question #1!  First person to answer question #10 correctly is our winner!

 

  1. In English, “four” is the only digit that has the same number of letters as its value. (True)

 

  1. Great Britain was the first county to issue postage stamps. (True – hence, the postage stamps of Britain are the only stamps in the world not to bear the name of the country of origin. However, every stamp carries a relief image or a silhouette of the monarch’s head instead.)

 

  1. A Chinese checkerboard has 111 holes. (False – 121)

 

  1. Mice, whales, elephants, and man all have seven neck vertebra. (True)

 

  1. Since 1896, the beginning of the modern Olympics, only The United States and Greece have participated in every Games. (False – Greece and Australia)

 

  1. There were no squirrels on Nantucket until 1989. (True)

 

  1. The last NASCAR driver to serve jail time for running moonshine was Jeff Gordon. (False – Buddy Arrington)

 

  1. It takes a lobster approximately seven years to grow to be one pound. (True)

 

  1. The ridges on the sides of coins are called reeding. (True)

 

  1. Giraffes have no vocal cords. (True)

 

 

TABLOID MATCH GAME

You have to match the blank in the tabloid headline with the word or phrase that has been removed!

L.A. ____________ USE PREDATOR DRONES (REAL ESTATE AGENTS)

The Los Angeles Police Department is taking action to stop local real estate agents from using predator drones against each other.

Real estate has always been a competitive business, but in Los Angeles… it’s war.

Many L.A. real estate agents had been using drones to simply take pictures of properties.   Large drones were often seen flying above Westside residences.

But the drones from competing real estate agencies were flying into each other and causing major disturbances for local citizens.  SO real estate agents began using armed predator drones to knock the competition’s drones out of the sky.  Then THAT escalated and now the real estate drones have been attacking the buildings of competitors over the last weeks.

 

 

THE WAY TOO EARLY IN THE MORNING TO UNDERSTAND THE PUNCHLINE EVEN AFTER TWO CUPS OF COFFEE JOKE OF THE DAY

JOKE #1

After she woke up, a woman told her husband, “I just dreamed that you gave me a gold necklace and diamond earrings for Valentine’s day. What do you think it means?”

“You’ll know tonight.” he said.

That evening, the man came home with a small package and gave it to his wife.  Delighted, she opened it to find a book entitled “The Meaning of Dreams.”

 

JOKE #2

A dinner speaker was in such a hurry to get to his engagement that when he arrived and sat down at the head table, he suddenly realized that he had forgotten his false teeth. Turning to the man next to him, he said, “I forgot my teeth.”

The man said, “No problem.”

With that, he reached into his pocket and pulled out a pair of false teeth. “Try these,” he said.

The speaker tried them. “Too loose,” he said.

The man then said, “I have another pair… try these.”

The speaker tried them and responded, “Too tight.”

The man was not taken back at all. He then said, “I have one more pair of false teeth… try them.”

The speaker said, “They fit perfectly.”

With that he ate his meal and gave his address. After the dinner meeting was over, the speaker went over to thank the man who had helped him.

“I want to thank you for coming to my aid. Where is your office? I’ve been looking for a good dentist.”

The man replied, “I’m not a dentist. I’m the local undertaker.”

 

JOKE #3

A Redneck buys a ticket and wins the lottery. He goes to Austin to claim it and the man verifies his ticket number. The Redneck says, “I want my $20 million.”

The man replied, “No, sir. It doesn’t work that way. We give you a million today and then you’ll get the rest spread out for the next 19 years.”

The Redneck said, “Oh, no. I want all my money right now! I won it and I want it.”

Again, the man explain that he would only get a million that day and the rest during the next 19 years.  The Redneck, furious with the man, screams out, “Look, I want my money! If you’re not going to give me my $20 million right now, then I want my dollar back!”

 

 

USELESS FACTS

So who would you rather spend Valentine’s Day with? Your partner or your pet?  A joint global poll by Reuters/Ipsos reported that one in five adults say they’d opt for the company of a furry friend on February 14.  ***MARLAR: I don’t know if I’d go quite that far, but I do have to say that I truly do have feelings for my Sea Monkeys.

 

Forget flowers and chocolates on this Valentine’s Day and give your sweetheart a plate of potatoes! A farmer in England is hoping his heart-shaped Valentine’s Day spuds will be a huge hit. Andy Jeffrey is selling his heart-shaped potatoes for about a dollar and thinks they could catch on during Valentine’s Day. “I think they are ideal for couples who have been saying it with flowers for years – get the food on the plate to say it for you.” ***MARLAR: Just tell your sweetheart, “This spud’s for you”.

 

 

FEATURED FUNNIES

KIDS THOUGHTS ON MARRIAGE, DATING, AND LOVE

HOW DO YOU DECIDE WHO TO MARRY?

You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff. Like, if you like sports, she should like it that you like sports, and she should keep the chips and dip coming.  –Alan, age 10

No person really decides before they grow up who they’re going to marry. God decides it all way before, and you get to find out later who you’re stuck with.  –Kirsten, age 10
WHAT IS THE RIGHT AGE TO GET MARRIED?

Twenty-three is the best age because you know the person FOREVER by then.  –Camille, age 10

No age is good to get married at. You got to be a fool to get married.  –Freddie, age 6 (very wise for his age)
HOW CAN A STRANGER TELL IF TWO PEOPLE ARE MARRIED?

You might have to guess, based on whether they seem to be yelling at the same kids. –Derrick, age 8
WHAT DO YOU THINK YOUR MOM AND DAD HAVE IN COMMON?

Both don’t want any more kids.  –Lori, age 8
WHAT DO MOST PEOPLE DO ON A DATE?

Dates are for having fun, and people should use them to get to know each other. Even boys have something to say if you listen long enough.  –Lynnette, age 8 (isn’t she a treasure)

On the first date, they just tell each other lies and that usually gets them interested enough to go for a second date.  –Martin, age 10
WHAT WOULD YOU DO ON A FIRST DATE THAT WAS TURNING SOUR?

I’d run home and play dead. The next day I would call all the newspapers and make sure they wrote about me in all the dead columns.  –Craig, age 9
WHEN IS IT OKAY TO KISS SOMEONE?

When they’re rich.  –Pam, age 7

The law says you have to be eighteen, so I wouldn’t want to mess with that.  –Curt, age 7

The rule goes like this: If you kiss someone, then you should marry them and have kids with them. It’s the right thing to do.  –Howard, age 8
IS IT BETTER TO BE SINGLE OR MARRIED?

It’s better for girls to be single but not for boys. Boys need someone to clean up after them.  –Anita, age 9 (bless you child)
HOW WOULD THE WORLD BE DIFFERENT IF PEOPLE DIDN’T GET MARRIED?

There sure would be a lot of kids to explain, wouldn’t there?  –Kelvin, age 8

 

HOW WOULD YOU MAKE A MARRIAGE WORK?

Tell your wife that she looks pretty, even if she looks like a truck.  –Ricky, age 10

 

 

IT MUST BE TRUE BECAUSE I HEARD IT ON THE RADIO!

BOXED IN

Gordon Sieferman has found an interesting new way to earn six figures a year: he sells cardboard boxes to homeless people.

…Sieferman spends about eight hours a day collecting large cardboard boxes from appliance stores and construction sites. He then sells the boxes to destitute people. He says he tries to match the box with the person’s needs. A single guy can usually get away with a TV box, while a couple or family usually require a refrigerator box.  ***MARLAR: So, is this guy the homeless man’s best friend, or is he just a “jerk in the box?”

 

 

INSPIRATIONAL INSPIRATION

THE APPLE
On a cold day in 1942, inside a Nazi concentration camp, a lone, young boy looks beyond the barbed wire and sees a young girl pass by. She too, is moved by his presence. In an effort to give expression to her feelings, she throws a red apple over the fence — a sign of life, hope, and love. The young boy bends over, picks up the apple. A ray of light has pierced his darkness.
The following day, thinking he is crazy for even entertaining the notion of seeing this young girl again, he looks out beyond the fence, hoping. On the other side of the barbed wire, the young girl yearns to see again this tragic figure who moved her so. She comes prepared with apple in hand.
Despite another day of wintry blizzards and chilling air, two hearts are warmed once again as the apple passes over the barbed wire. The scene is repeated for several days. The two young spirits on opposite sides of the fence look forward to seeing each other, if only for a moment and if only to exchange a few words. The interaction is always accompanied by an exchange of inexplicably heartening feelings.
At the last of these momentary meetings, the young boy greets his sweet friend with a frown and says, “Tomorrow, don’t bring me an apple, I will not be here. They are sending me to another camp.” The young boy walks away, too heartbroken to look back.
From that day forward, the calming image of the sweet girl would appear to him in moments of anguish. Her eyes, her words, her thoughtfulness, her red apple, all were a recurring vision that would break his night time sweats. His family died in the war. The life he had known had all but vanished, but this one memory remained alive and gave him hope.
In 1957 in the United States, two adults, both immigrants, are set up on a blind date. “And where were you during the war?” inquires the woman. ” I was in a concentration camp in Germany,” the man replies. “I remember I used to throw apples over the fence to a boy who was in a concentration camp,” she recalls.
With a feeling of shock, the man speaks. “And did that boy say to you one day, “Don’t bring an apple anymore because I am being sent to another camp?'”
“Why, yes,” she responds, “but how could you possibly know that?”
“He looks into her eyes and says, ” I was that young boy.”
There is a brief silence, and then he continues, “I was separated from you then, and I don’t ever want to be without you again. Will you marry me?”
They embrace one another as she says, “Yes.”
On Valentine’s Day 1996, on national telecast of the Oprah Winfrey show, this same man affirmed his enduring love to his wife of forty years. “You fed me in the concentration camp,” he said, “you fed me throughout all these years; now, I remain hungry if only for your love.”
The darkest moments of one’s life may carry the seeds of the brightest tomorrow.

 

 

DRIVE TIME DEVOTIONAL

THE GREATEST THING IN THE WORLD

Now abide faith, hope, love, these three; but the greatest of these is love. —1 Corinthians 13:13

Well-known scientist and writer Henry Drummond (1857-1897) conducted a geological survey of South Africa and wrote what was then the definitive work on tropical Africa. But he is best remembered for his book about love, The Greatest Thing In The World.

Drummond wrote, “As memory scans the past, above and beyond all the transitory pleasures of life, there leap forward those supreme hours when you have been enabled to do unnoticed kindnesses to those round about you, things too trifling to speak about . . . . And these seem to be the things which alone of all one’s life abide.”

Paul warned that impressive gifts and spectacular deeds may be little more than empty noise (1 Corinthians 13:1). Our best efforts—if bereft of love—ring hollow. “Though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, . . . but have not love, it profits me nothing” (v.3). The smallest loving act can hold eternal significance.

No matter our age or status in life, we all can strive to love others as God loves them. We may accomplish great things in our life—gain fame and fortune—but the greatest thing is to love. For of all that we have done, or ever will do, only love endures. We depart, but love abides. —David Roper

 

We love because He first loved us,
He gave so we can give;
We love because He first touched us,
He died so we can live. —Sper

 

Now abide faith, hope, love, these three; but the greatest of these is love. —1 Corinthians 13:13

 

 

LEFTOVERS

REASONS TO LEAVE WORK EARLY

  • You’re a real-live nephew of your Uncle Sam and he’s in the hospital
  • “If I leave now, there still might be time to save the planet!”
  • These one-day work weeks are killers
  • Let’s be honest: I screwed up and didn’t even mean to come in today
  • You still have to go out and buy your “Valentine’s Day” tree

 

 

LIFE… LIVE IT

LET’S TALK ABOUT LOVE

A Social psychologist out of York College In Pennsylvania studied people’s romantic histories and came up with this:

  • People whose romances were short were more likely to believe that love conquers all and that loving each other is enough to ensure a strong relationship.
  • People whose romances were long were more likely to believe that one’s choice of a partner is less important than a couple’s willingness to work at the relationship.
  • People who spent long periods uncoupled were more likely to focus on a search for the ideal partner, believing that the key to a lasting relationship lies in the qualities possessed by one’s lover rather than oneself.
  • People who believed in self-reliance and working on a relationship were most likely to be satisfied with their current relationship.

 

 

JUST FOR FUN

PLACES TO AVOID TAKING YOUR DATE FOR VALENTINE’S DAY

  • The local Health Clinic for some “routine tests”
  • That Denny’s just off the interstate
  • Your Weight Watchers meeting
  • To check out the cool office you work in down at the morgue
  • The ball-pit on the playground at McDonalds
  • The “Bugs of the World” exhibit at your local museum
  • Wal-Mart
  • Your mom’s basement

 

 

FUN LIST

FOR THE GUYS: GREAT USES OF DUCT TAPE FOR VALENTINES DAY (by Jim and Tim, the Duct Tape Guys)

  • One rose traditionally means “I love you.” A dozen roses made entirely out of duct tape means “I’ll love you forever!”
  • Wrap that heart-shaped box of chocolates in five layers of duct tape so your honey burns calories when she/he opens it.
  • Or, forget the box of chocolates; just give your sweetheart a roll of duct tape. Duct tape is 100% fat free.
  • Valentine’s Day dinner apparel is spill-proof when you make it out of duct tape.
  • Make a giant Valentine’s Day greeting card: Write “I LOVE YOU…” on your garage door with duct tape.
  • Popping the question? Duct tape yourself to her leg until she accepts your proposal of marriage.

 

 

MORE SHOW PREP STUFF…

THE STORY OF SAINT VALENTINE

Saint Valentine is said to have lived in Rome during the third century. During this time Rome was ruled by an emperor named Claudius, who was having trouble getting men to serve in his army. He felt many men would not volunteer to join because they did not want to leave their wives and families. He thought that if men were not married, they would join the army. So Claudius passed a new law which did not allow any more marriages. Valentine, who was a minister, did not support the new law and kept performing marriage ceremonies secretly. One night he was caught and thrown in jail and told he would be put to death. Many young people came to visit Valentine, including the daughter of one of the prison guard’s. On the day of his death Valentine wrote a note to the daughter signed “Love from your Valentine”. This was on February 14, 269 A. D. Some say this started the custom of exchanging love messages on Valentine’s Day.

 

 

THINGS NOT TO USE AS AN EXCUSE FOR SCREWING UP VALENTINE’S DAY…

  • I’m so emotionally spent after the Super Bowl.
  • Old Country Buffet wouldn’t take reservations.
  • The neighbors’ flowers won’t bloom til’ Spring.
  • Flowers will just die anyway.
  • Isn’t my love enough?
  • I thought we were trying to save money.
  • The gas station was out of champagne.
  • I didn’t get you anything because 7-11 was out of Valentine stuff.  They should plan better.

 

 

THINGS NOT TO SAY ON A VALENTINE DATE

  • I really don’t like this restaurant that much, but I wanted to use this 2-for-1 coupon before it expired.
  • I used to come here all the time with my mom.
  • I never said you NEED a nose job. I just said it wouldn’t hurt to consider it.
  • Could you excuse me? My cat gets lonely if he doesn’t hear my voice on the answering machine every hour.
  • I really feel that I’ve grown in the past few years. Used to be I wouldn’t have given someone like you a second look.
  • It’s been tough, but I’ve come to accept that most people I date just won’t be as smart as I am.
  • I learned my dating etiquette from listening to (THE JOCK SHOW).

 

 

LEAST POPULAR VALENTINE CONVERSATION HEARTS

  • HARD UP
  • U SMELL
  • ICKY BOD
  • ITS OVER
  • 1000x NO
  • SHAVE BACK

 

 

SIGNS YOUR VALENTINE DATE ISN’T GOING WELL

  • You don’t find out your Denny’s coupons have expired until after you’ve eaten.
  • She is wearing the alluring scent of Old Spice.
  • Her mother keeps asking you to pass the ketchup.
  • Those long, awkward silences during dinner, interrupted only by the occasional snipping of her toenail clippers.

 

 

VALENTINE IDEAS TO AVOID

  • Take her out to eat and ask for separate checks.
  • Have him go with you to visit your mom for a week or two.
  • Talk to your dog more than you talk to her.
  • Buy her power tools for Valentine’s Day.
  • Ask if there is any history of male pattern baldness in his family.
  • Leave the newspaper open to the singles dating page.
  • Answer every question with “Yes, dear.”

 

 

CHOCOLATE TORTE REPORT
The candy industry predicts Americans will spend close to a billion dollars on chocolate this Valentine’s Day alone. That’s 36 million boxes! Americans however have less of a sweet tooth compared to our European counterparts. Americans eat about 12 pounds of chocolate a year, about half what Europeans gulp down. 36 million boxes of candy not only helps fatten the bottom line of the candy makers, but the “bottom lines” of chocolate consumers as well!

 

 

ROMANTIC CARDS, NOT!

A survey from a greeting card company finds that while many women enjoy shopping for the romantic cards, men like it about as much as heartburn. Some 900 million cards are purchased annually on Valentine’s Day, 85 percent of them by women. The survey from card-maker American Greetings Corp. of Cleveland found that men and women buy very different kinds of cards and for different reasons. Men often saw card-shopping as an “ordeal” which they do mostly because their wives or girlfriends expect to receive the cards, the survey found. The company also found women seem to enjoy sending and receiving the more romantic, traditional cards with hearts, flowers and rhymed verses. Men prefer cards that are short and to the point. Men and women were able to agree on one thing, though — they both liked cards that were funny.

 

 

COOL VALENTINE CRAFT IDEAS

Window dressing: Fold several pieces of paper in half and cut out heart shapes in varying sizes. Use the pieces of paper that the hearts have been cut out of as stencils. Tape them to a window in an interesting arrangement and spray with artificial snow. Remove stencils to see the heart shapes on the windows.

Fancy mobile: Have your child punch holes in his/her valentines, thread and hang them from a hanger to create a mobile. Or take two hangers and cross them together then hang valentines from them. Hang finished mobile from a curtain rod or picture hook.

Holiday hairpiece: Using play dough make several small heart shapes. Let dry. When dry paint with red, pink or white tempra paint. Hot glue the small hearts to old hair barettes, add some ribbon and you have some festive holiday hair clips.

Heart Lunch Bags: Decorate your children’s brown paper lunch bags for the occasion. Use potatoes cut in half and carved into the shape of hearts. Dip in paint and press onto paper bags. Use red, white and pink paints for that festive touch.

 

 

BIGGIE SIZE IT

by Michael Webb

Men love gigantic things.  It begins at an early age as evidenced by their fascination with monster trucks and jumbo jets.  If you ever get in a bind for a fun gift for the man in your life, just make it massive and he’s bound to like it.  If you were thinking about making your guy a dozen of his favorite cookies, why not make him one HUGE cookie.  Instead of making him a personalized card from a piece of construction paper, buy a piece of poster board to create an oversized card to express how crazy you are for him.  Most men are naturally competitive and size is one way in which they compete with their male counterparts.  If funds aren’t an issue, help him to get the biggest television, stereo or grill in town.  If you can’t bear to waste the money on such material things then buy him the biggest remote or grilling utensil you can find.  You can make a quick stop at a convenient store and get a jumbo drink and an extra large candy bar for the guy with a sweet tooth.  The possibilities are endless. Just go large.

 

 

TWENTY FIVE WAYS TO ROMANCE YOUR VALENTINE

  1. Take the one you love back to the place where you proposed marriage or the spot of your first date. If you can, bring something significant along with you from that time. Reminisce!
  2. Women love a gentleman. Guys, hold her chair for her when she’s seated for dinner, and be sure to open her door at the car.
  3. Unplug the television set. Put a note or a card on the set inviting them to, “Turn me on instead.”
  4. Place a flower on your lover’s pillow just because. Or better yet, make it a “Frisky Coupon” good for “one ear-nibbling session.”
  5. Send a taxi or limo to pick your sweetheart up after work. Be sure to prepay the fare, including the tip. Instruct the driver to take him or her to your favorite restaurant where you’ll be waiting.
  6. Write a love note and put it in a book your lover is reading.
  7. Attach a valentine to the steering wheel of your lover’s car, or hide one under the sun visor.
  8. Place a photo of yourself or your child in a heart-shaped frame and place it, along with a valentine, in your loved one’s briefcase.
  9. Create a jar filled with “Love Coupons.” Make the coupons redeemable for hugs, kisses, back rubs or any number of special favors. Give the jar to your lover and let them redeem the coupons at their will.
  10. Go shopping together for lingerie or boxers.
  11. Buy a week’s worth of valentines and send one a day to your lover in the week leading up to Valentine’s Day. Include a special gift or surprise with the last card.
  12. Call a radio station and request a special song for your sweetheart. Be sure the two of you are together when the song plays.
  13. While your lover is out of the house, prepare a special gourmet dinner. Use your best china, candles and soft music. Or while you’re both out of the house, have a friend deliver and set up the dinner for you.
  14. Contact the International Star Registry at 1-800-282-3333 or the Ministry of Federal Star Registration at 1-800-544-8814 and have a star named for the one you love.
  15. Take a quiet walk together holding hands.
  16. Surprise your lover at work or school by dropping in and dropping off a special gift or surprise.
  17. Make time for a pillow fight.
  18. Write a special “I love you” message on the mirror in the bathroom using lipstick, soap or shaving cream.
  19. Prepare a breakfast in bed.
  20. Make your lover work for a gift. Leave written clues that lead him or her on a wild goose chase around the house, through the yard, to the neighbors or across town.
  21. Send your lover a card on the day after Valentine’s Day. Explain in the card that “24 hours is too long a period to go without saying, “I love you.”
  22. Surprise your lover with a favorite hardcover book.
  23. Give your lover a four-leaf clover for luck.
  24. Call three times in a row to say “I love you” or “I miss you.”
  25. Go on a hay ride.

 

 

THE COOLEST VALENTINE GIFT EVER

And who wouldn’t be interested in knowing about the coolest Valentine gift ever? How about a romance novel in which you and your loved one are the hero and heroine of the novel?  Yournovel.com, in Raleigh, NC will produce the ultimate vanity romance novel customized with your name and your loved one’s name.  There are 21 different stories available in exotic settings like the Caribbean, Tahiti, Mardi Gras, and Rome.  These novels can even include a customized cover with your photo either in hard cover or paperback.  And they come in “wild” or “mild” versions.

 

 

MORE THINGS YOU CAN DO FOR VALENTINE’S DAY

  • Send your special one a card on the day after Valentine’s Day. Explain in the card that 24 hours is too long a period to go without saying, “I love you.”
  • Surprise your special one with a favorite hardcover book.
  • Give your special one a four-leaf clover.
  • Call three times in a row to say “I love you” or “I miss you.”
  • Go on a hay ride.
  • Hide special love notes in your lover’s sock or underwear drawer.
  • Write your special one’s name in the snow.
  • Have a rainy-day-afternoon picnic in front of the fireplace.
  • Seal a card or letter with a kiss – use lots of lipstick.
  • Create a special video-taped confession telling your valentine all the things you love about him or her.
  • Blindfold your lover and have him or her sit next to the refrigerator. Then feed them delicious foods like strawberries, chocolate, whipped cream, etc.
  • Go to the ice cream store and share a banana split with one spoon. Or, order an ice cream soda with two straws.
  • Buy an antique key. Then give it to your special one inside a valentine. Explain that it’s the key to your heart.
  • Send your valentine a heart-shaped candle, and offer to light it with them at your favorite restaurant.
  • For newlyweds, create a “time capsule” recording. On the tape, reminisce about your first year together. Record a popular song and read the day’s front-page headlines. Keep the recording for playing back on a Valentine’s Day in the future.
  • Send a special “I love you” message by hiring an airplane banner service.
  • Kiss and make up.
  • Take a hot-air balloon ride together.
  • If your special one is away on a business trip, send a different card each day to his or her hotel. Be sure to emphasize how much you miss them and what special plans you’ve made for their return.
  • Surprise your special one by completing a long-neglected task. Fix that screen door that’s always sticking, wallpaper a bedroom. Then put a big bow on the project.
  • Leave a series of “I love you” messages on your lover’s answering machine or office voice mail.
  • Go to a drive-in movie or park on a secluded country road.
  • Go to a Karaoke bar and record yourself singing a special love song for your valentine.
  • If you’re near a beach, build a sandcastle together.
  • Meet at a bar together and pretend you’re meeting for the very first time.
  • Surprise your valentine with a head-to-toe massage.
  • Pick up your loved one from work on Friday night. Have the kids taken care of and a whole secluded weekend away planned. Make it a surprise.
  • Snuggle up and take turns reading a book out loud together.

 

 

 

OTHER STUFF I WANT TO CRAM INTO TODAY’S PREP

Need ideas for Valentine’s Day? Family life Today has Customizable coupon book to give your spouse. Create your personal book!

http://bit.ly/1V1sHYn

 

This Valentine’s Day, why not take the 30-Day Husband Encouragement Challenge from Revive Our Hearts? If you’re up for the challenge of speaking positively to and about your husband each day, get ready for God to work deeply in your marriage—but even more so in your own heart. Access the free pdf download…

http://buff.ly/1PFfAIy

 

Running out of Valentine’s Day ideas to show your love to your husband and kids? iMom is here to help. The web site is out with some fun, creative and dare we say unique Valentine’s Day ideas to show love to your husband and your kids. Included are:

5 Cute Ways to Say “I Love You” to Your Husband

The Real Story Behind Valentine’s Day

Valentine Family Game Show

Our Favorite Valentine’s Ideas for Kids Plus One for Your Man!

14 Day Kiss Your Husband Challenge

20 Fun Questions to Get to Know Him Better

19 Valentine’s Date Night Ideas

http://bit.ly/1PZ5ub6

 

Here are 4 ways you can make Valentine’s Day and your marriage not about you but about your wife from All Pro Dad.

  1. Set her apart.
  2. Take on the hard stuff on her behalf.
  3. Love her like you’d want to be loved.
  4. Get close and intimate with her. Share your deepest feelings, concerns, fears, dreams

http://bit.ly/1S523Qg

 

10 Creative and Simple Valentine’s Day Ideas for Spouses from Mark Merrill.

  1. Take a canoe out on a lake.
  2. Create a scavenger hunt around town or around the house.
  3. Recreate your first date.
  4. Cook a gourmet meal together.
  5. Go ice skating.
  6. Have a picnic and watch the sunset.
  7. Rent a limo.
  8. Take a road trip.
  9. Stargaze.
  10. Hike.

http://bit.ly/1XdIKDQ

 

Valentine’s Day Ideas for Couples from Family Life Today

Make a book about why you love your spouse and why you are thankful for him/her.

Take your sweetie on a scavenger hunt.

After enjoying a candlelight dinner for two at home, give your spouse a massage and watch a romantic movie.

Surprise your spouse with a special getaway together.

Give your wife a dozen roses. On each stem attach a note for a future date—to do something that she would enjoy.

If possible, go on a date with your spouse to a restaurant that you enjoyed when you first met.

Have 11 roses delivered to your wife, and then give her a 12th yourself while reading her a love poem.

If you are separated across the miles, send a care package filled with things that are red.

Hide little heart candies in your spouse’s shoes, coat, car, etc.

Fill a jar with Valentine candy and notes for your spouse.

Write a poem for your spouse and frame it.

If possible, send a card postmarked in a town that has a romantic name such as Loveland, Colorado; Valentine, Texas; or Romance, Arkansas.

http://ow.ly/YfukA

 

This Valentine’s Day you will probably either send or receive a Valentine from someone. More than a billion are expected to be given away in the United States alone. But just like many of our holidays, there’s a lot more behind it than just cards and gifts. There’s a true life story. It’s a story that teaches us a lot about the true meaning of love, sacrifice and commitment. Read the entire story of Valentines Day, as told on the Family First web site. http://bit.ly/1Ky2aeJ

 

The web site Family Minute is out with a list of Creative and Unique Types of Valentine’s Day Gifts. As a way to spur creative gift giving, the web site suggests things like the gift of memories, the gift of experience, the gift of time, and the gift of service. Ideas include everything from washing your spouses car to turning your home into a restaurant. Check out the entire list at http://bit.ly/1vw2j0S

 

With everyone focusing on couples now as we close in on Valentine’s Day, we haven’t forgotten about those of you who are single!  Don’t despair – you’re not alone!  If you’re waiting on that special someone in your life, here are SIX “P”s to waiting well…

  1. Priorities. What or whom are you putting first in your life?
  2. Prayer.
  3. Passion. Live your dreams now.
  4. Perseverance. trust in the One who loves you most to bring what is best!
  5. Praise. Thank God for all he has done and is doing in your life.
  6. Peace. God is sovereign. He is in control and He knows what He’s doing.

See each of these points in-depth at http://bit.ly/1FLkQLy

 

 

AND I LEAVE YOU WITH THIS THOUGHT

The tradition of giving candy on Valentine’s Day started hundreds of years ago. And some of it tastes that old.

 

 

THE TICKET Movie Reviews with MARIE ASNER

Marie Asner has been reviewing films for over 30 years. Her outlets include radio, print and Internet.  For more in-depth movie reviews of the following films, visit www.Tollbooth.org.  Ratings from 1 (Low) to 5 (High).

 

FEBRUARY 12, 2016…

 

Where To Invade—Michael Moore (and I bet he’s working on a documentary now on the water situation in Flint, Michigan) travels the world in his documentary “Where To Invade” trying to find information (tongue-in-cheek) to help the U.S. He goes to Finland and other countries looking for answers to prison crowding (in one country, the prisoners have free roaming of the prison and it is better inside than outside.) “Where To Invade” is rated PG 13. Rating of 3.

 

Deadpool—Comic book fans, here comes “Deadpool,” the former special forces/mercenary guy who underwent an experiment (again?) and comes out fighting crime with language to boot. Ryan Reynolds plays the hero, and others in the cast include Morena Baccarin (“Gotham”), Ed Skrein (“Transporter”) and Stan Lee (you read that right.) “Deadpool” is rated R. Rating of 3 for fans.

 

How To Be Single—The gals gather: Dakota Johnson, Alison Bree, Rebel Wilson and Leslie Mann—to learn how to live without men. Look out guys, here they come. “How To Be Single” is rated R. No rating.

 

Zoolander 2-–The first film was a fan favorite and now Ben Stiller and Owen Wilson reprise their roles as models Derek and Hansel. Guess who else is in the cast? Benedict Cumberbatch (“Sherlock Holmes”), Kristen Wiig and Will Ferrell. This story has devious people trying to get Derek and Hansel out of the business. “Zoolander 2” is rated R. Rating of 2 for fans.

 

The Bad Hurt—All families have problems, hurts and secrets and in this particular one, they try to work through everything. The cast includes Ashley Williams, Karen Allen and Johnny Whitworth. “The Bad Hurt” is rated PG 13. No rating.

 

FEBRUARY 19, 2016…

 

Race is the story of Jesse Owens, the African-American athlete who was in the 1936 Olympics against all odds. Stars Stephan James.

 

Viral has a virus running amok around the country and one family trying to avoid getting it. Stars Analeigh Tipton and Michael Kelly.

 

# # # # #

 

 

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Darren Marlar credits all non-original material to the author whenever possible. All other material is original, used with permission, or author unknown. We welcome all comments, questions, and suggestions.  Darren can be reached via his website at www.DarrenMarlar.com.