Hey, it’s NATIONAL DECORATE YOUR DOG FOR CHRISTMAS DAY!

Wednesday, November 28, 2012
ONLY 27 SHOPPING DAYS UNTIL CHRISTMAS!

Today is NATIONAL FRENCH TOAST DAY.

Today is NATIONAL HAIR CURLER APPRECIATION DAY. ***MARLAR: My wife had the curling iron out and I noticed the warning label.  Is society so stupid that we have to be told that a curling iron is “for external use only”?

Today is NATIONAL DECORATE YOUR DOG FOR CHRISTMAS DAY. Help your pooch get into the holiday spirit.  ***MARLAR: Stapling antlers to your dog’s head is not recommended. It makes both PETA and your dog very mad. Besides, staples don’t work near as well as Crazy Glue.

1991: In a panic, a California turkey carver called the Butterball Turkey Talk-Line and screamed that there was no breast meat on his Butterball. Phone helper Jean Schnelle suggested he might have the bird upside-down. She was right, he did. ***MARLAR: It’s sad when you’re outsmarted by a dumb dead bird.

Today is THROW OUT YOUR LEFTOVERS DAY.  And here are a few suggestions on what to do with those leftovers:

  • Mix some Elmer’s glue into the mashed potatoes and use as spackle.
  • Fill those nasty pot holes.
  • Find an orange traffic cone, toss all of the leftovers in, coat the whole thing in several cans of extra-hold hair spray and set it out next year as a horn of plenty.
  • Add sugar and fruits then blend together into a seasonal fruit cake.
  • Freeze in little bags and save for Halloween next year.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *