January 19, 2016: Tuesday ONAIRprep

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PRINTER FRIENDLY VERSION: 20160119

 

 

WELCOME TO THE SHOW!

Before I bring you today’s (JOCK SHOW), I’d like to impress upon you that quality, excellence, and good taste aren’t everything.

 

 

BIBLE VERSE OF THE DAY

I saw the Holy City, the new Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, prepared as a bride, beautifully dressed for her husband. And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, “Now the dwelling of God is with men, and he will live with them. They will be his people, and God himself will be with them and be their God.  He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.”  — Revelation 21:2-4

 

Live by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the sinful nature. — Galatians 5:16

 

In God, whose word I praise, in God I trust; I will not be afraid. What can mortal man do to me? — Psalm 56:4

 

 

HEARTLIGHT DAILY VERSE, PRAYER & THOUGHT

(From VerseOfTheDay.com)

In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth. — Genesis 1:1

 

Thought: We are creatures of the earth. Yes, we are much more than that, but occasionally we need to be reminded of that! We can’t truly understand existence before time, yet before the beginning of time as we know it, God existed — he has revealed himself as “I Am,” the one who was and who is and who is to come. Before there was an ordered universe to provide the basis of our existence, God is “I Am.” He had existence before, beyond, and without our created universe. We can’t even truly comprehend this in its entirety. That’s why every new beginning — whether it is a day, a week, a year, or a millennium — should begin with God. He alone is the ultimate Genesis, our beginning.

 

Prayer: Almighty Creator and God of all of the universe, I praise you for your incomparable power and your incomprehensible glory. As I begin this new year, I know that my future rests in your will, your grace, and your salvation. Please go with me as I journey toward this future. Please be glorified in the way I live my life today, this year, and for as long as you give me earthly life. In Jesus’ name I pray. Amen.

 

The Thoughts and Prayers for Today’s Verse are written by Phil Ware. You can email questions or comments to phil@heartlight.org.

 

 

BIRTHDAY VERSE” OF THE DAY

The chapter and verse corresponds to the month and the day!

Jeremiah 1:19 NIV = They will fight against you but will not overcome you, for I am with you and will rescue you, declares the LORD.

 

 

TODAY IS TUESDAY – JANUARY 19, 2016

(NOTE: Some holidays may be duplicated due to various calendars reporting conflicting dates)
WEIRD, WACKY, STRANGE, ZANY, ODD, BIZARRE, QUIRKY, UNUSUAL HOLIDAYS!
THERE ARE ONLY 342 SHOPPING DAYS UNTIL CHRISTMAS.   

 

Today is HORROR NOVELS ARE HORRENDOUS DAY, the birthday of Edgar Allan Poe, born on this date in 1809 and author of many horror tales.  *** My personal favorite of his is “The Tell-Tale Heart”.  Creepy!

 

Today is WHISPER I LOVE YOU DAY.

 

Today is TIN CAN DAY, marking the patent of a process for storing food in tin cans issued to Ezra Daggett and Thomas Kensett.  *** Plus it made the game “Kick the Can” a whole lot easier.

 

 

TODAY IS ALSO. . .

Popcorn Day

World Day of Migrants and Refugees

 

 

COMING UP NEXT

WEDNESDAY, JANUARY 20

Camcorder Day

Penguin Awareness Day

Inauguration Day

National Disc Jockey Day

Rid The World of Fad Diets and Gimmicks Day

 

THURSDAY, JANUARY 21

Get To Know Your Customers Day

National Hugging Day

Squirrel Appreciation Day

Women’s Healthy Weight Day

 

FRIDAY, JANUARY 22

Answer Your Cat’s Questions Day

Celebration of Life Day

Roe vs. Wade Day

 

SATURDAY, JANAURY 23

National Handwriting Day

Snowplow Mailbox Hockey Day

AFRMA Fancy Rat & Mouse Day

 

SUNDAY, JANUARY 24

Belly Laugh Day

Beer Can Day

National Bible Sunday

National Compliment Day

National Peanut Butter Day

Talk Like a Grizzled Prospector Day

Visit Your Local Quilt Shop Day

 

MONDAY, JANUARY 25

A Room of One’s Own Day

Macintosh Computer Day

National Irish Coffee Day

Opposite Day

Robert Burns Day

Bubble Wrap Appreciation Day

 

TUESDAY, JANUARY 26

Lotus 1-2-3 Day

National Peanut Brittle Day

Toad Hollow Day of Encouragement

 

 

ON THIS DAY

1955: A presidential news conference was filmed for television for the first time, with the permission of President Eisenhower.

 

1957: Johnny Cash made his first network TV appearance, on “The Jackie Gleason Show.”

 

1977: University of Cincinnati guard Brian Williams roared in for a dunk but misjudged the distance and missed everything — except the head of referee Darrin Brown. It’s the only known slam-dunk air ball in basketball history.

 

1977: Charlie Daniels and the Marshall Tucker Band played for President Jimmy Carter’s inauguration. Aretha Franklin sang “God Bless America” at a special inaugural concert.

 

1978: The last U.S.-made Volkswagen Beetle rolled off the assembly line. Twenty years later, the Beetle was back. (audio clip)

 

1979: The last Donny & Marie show aired on ABC-TV. After 3½ seasons, Donny was 21, Marie was just 19. (audio clip)

 

1988: A statue of singer Janis Joplin was unveiled in her hometown, Port Arthur, Texas, on what would have been her 45th birthday.

 

1989: On his last day in office, Ronald Reagan pardoned New York Yankees owner George Steinbrenner, who had been convicted of contributing illegally in 1972 to Richard Nixon’s reelection campaign.

 

1992: In Bristol, England, Nigel Hayward was sentenced to six years in prison for robbing a bank and a savings and loan armed with a banana. In both cases, he convinced tellers the hidden banana was a gun.

 

1993: Fleetwood Mac reunited for the Inaugural Ball of President-elect Bill Clinton.

 

1997: An underwear factory in Moscow, facing a cash-flow crisis, began paying its workers in bras. An employee told Reuters news service she could earn 35 to 40 bras a month, which she could sell for $2.15 each, or 40% more than her regular salary.

 

1998: Rock pioneer Carl Perkins died in Jackson, Tennessee, at age 65. The guitar style on his 1956 hit “Blue Suede Shoes” (Sun 234) was copied by rockers worldwide.

 

2001: President Clinton acknowledged for the first time making false statements under oath about Monica Lewinsky. He also surrendered his law license for five years in a deal sparing himself possible indictment.

 

2003: At the Golden Globe Awards, “Chicago” won best musical-comedy and “The Hours” won best drama.

 

2006:  Police reported a 73-year-old Italian woman in Pescara on the Adriatic coast had locked her mentally disturbed daughter in a darkened bathroom for 30 years. The 52-year-old daughter was found curled in a ball in a 7-by-9 foot tiled room. Police said the woman was fed leftovers and hosed down on a balcony as punishment. She reportedly was allowed out once a month with her mother to collect her pension.

 

2008: A Kansas teenager set his own pants on fire while torching an SUV in Olathe. A security camera caught the action, as the youth quickly removed his burning pants and boxer shorts and jumped into a getaway car. Police arrested the teen when he sought treatment at a local hospital.

 

 

TODAY IN CHRISTIAN HISTORY

1086: Canute the Great, the king of Denmark, is killed by his subjects. Though Denmark was already nominally Christian when he became king, he went to great lengths to revitalize the faith. He built and restored churches and monasteries and created laws protecting the clergy. But his “new order,” which included higher taxes and mandatory tithes, led to a revolt. Canute was reportedly killed in church while celebrating Mass, and he was declared a martyr and saint in 1101.

 

1649: England’s King Charles I, a devout Anglican with Catholic sympathies who staunchly defended the “divine right of kings” while oppressing the Puritans, is executed after being convicted of treason under a Puritan-influenced Parliament.

 

 

HOLLYWOOD, SPORTS AND CELEBRITY FIGURE BIRTHDAYS

  • actress (Stephanie “How rude” Tanner on TV’s “Full House”) Jodie Sweetin 34 (audio clip)
  • actor (TV’s “In Living Color”, Scary Movie, White Chicks) Shawn Wayans 45
  • actor (Dr. Robert Romano on TV’s “ER”) Paul McCrane 55 (audio clip)
  • comedian (Rat Race, Ali, A Cinderella Story) Paul Rodriguez 61
  • actor (and son of Desi Arnaz and Lucille Ball) Desi Arnaz Jr. 63
  • actress (“Coach”, “One Day at a Time”, “The Donna Reed Show”) Shelley Febares 72 (audio clip)
  • actress (I Heart Huckabees, Alfred Hitchcock’s The Birds) Tippi Hedren 81

 

 

BEE-BOP BIRTHDAYS

(Music Artist Birthdays From SongFacts.com)

1908 : Ish Kabibble

1917 : John Raitt

1939 : Phil Everly (The Everly Brothers)

1941 : Joe Butler (The Lovin’ Spoonful)

1942 : Michael Crawford

1943 : Janis Joplin

1944 : Shelley Fabares

1944 : Laurie London

1945 : Rod Evans (Deep Purple)

1946 : Dolly Parton

1948 : Harvey Hinsley (Hot Chocolate)

1949 : Robert Palmer

1951 : Dewey Bunnell (America)

1953 : Desi Arnaz Jr.

1954 : Francis Buchholz (Scorpions)

1957 : Mickey Virtue (UB40)

1963 : Caron Wheeler (Soul II Soul)

1969 : Trey Lorenz

1971 : John Wozniak (Marcy Playground)

 

 

SECRETS OF THE UNIVERSE

Why do we call informal names “nicknames?”

As I’m sure you have already guessed, the etymological source for this modern word is the Old English word, “eke,” meaning besides or in addition to. I know you can fill in the rest, but just for the record…

In the Middle Ages an eke name was a name in addition to your formal name. Most people did not have last names and in any village there might be more than one person with the same name — say, William. To avoid confusion, there would be William the blacksmith, William the tanner, etc. Those were their eke or additional names, a concept we’ve adopted for informally referring to any William as Bill – his additional name. Now what if I wrote and pronounced “an eke name” as “a neke name?” This linguistic looseness is called noncing. We arrived at the word “nickname” because over the years the words got slightly rearranged — a nodd phenomenon, to be sure.

 

 

CHRISTIAN ARTIST NEWS

Do you like the Christian Artist News you see below? It’s just a tiny sample of the 5-6 pages of material you could be receive every weekday… and it’s FREE!  Become one of their subscribers at ChristianRadioShowPrepServices.com!

 

Third Day’s Mark Lee is attempting to put a good spin on his families use of technology. He tweeted: My wife Stephanie just sent me a tweet from the next room. I guess it’s the 2016 version of those hip 80’s home intercom things.

 

Jamie Grace wants to know: when you get hot chocolate…do you add sugar?

 

Rush of Fools Kevin Huguley may have just kicked off the next new workout craze. He tweeted during the recent GOP debate: Want a good workout during the debate? Do 10 push-ups every time Hillary Clinton’s name is said.

 

A reminder from Jason Roy of Building 429: Sometimes you just got to turn out the light and trust that tomorrow will make sense of today. Jason added: God Is In Control.

 

Joel from for King and Country may have a headache for awhile. He had to get six staples in his head to close a cut over the weekend. Joel posted: note to self, if your wife is closing the SUV hatch don’t try reach in to grab the gifts. Joel added: I’m OK.

 

 

NEWS KICKERS

(No news on the weekends.  Audio clips are only valid for a few days before being removed from our servers.)

 

NEW NEWS KICKERS…

A new survey finds that teens spend more time with “media” each day than sleeping.  *** So if you want to get your teen’s attention, you might consider starting a YouTube channel.

 

Valentine’s Day chocolate could cost more this year. Cocoa is in shorter supply due to bad weather conditions and poor farming. Combine that with the fact that the demand for chocolate hit an all-time high last year, and the world has an imbalance that has forced up the price almost 40 percent since 2012.  *** Plus, it’s Valentine’s Day where you’re celebrating the murder of a guy beheaded by the Romans.  Who needs chocolate for that?

 

Mercury, Venus, Saturn, Mars and Jupiter will all be visible from Earth when they appear in a diagonal row before dawn on Wednesday (January 20th). It’s the first time the five bright planets that can usually be seen easily with the naked eye have aligned in such a way for more than10 years. The phenomenon will continue every early morning until February 20th.  ***And for those who follow biblical prophecy and predictions of prophets, what this means is… absolutely nothing.

 

A new survey of Facebook users finds we’re unhappy when a post doesn’t get any likes or comments. In fact, 72% of us say no reaction to a post can affect our mood, while just one like or comment can make things right again.  *** Also, I’ve posted this to Facebook, could you please like and comment on it?

 

 

 

NEWS KICKER EVERGREENS…

Facebook and Twitter are more tempting than cigarettes and sex. Researchers at the University of Chicago discovered through an online poll that the urge to interact through tweets and comments was stronger than sex and cigs. In fact, researchers concluded that social networking was the hardest desire to resist. ***Well, at least it’s a lot cheaper.

 

A recent study reveals 15% of adults in the U.S. don’t use the Internet or email — at all. Some don’t use the Internet because they find it confusing or too hard, but 3.3 million simply have no interest.  ***MARLAR: It’s also hard to keep up with the new technology for adults.  Like this morning – I spent 45-minutes trying to shave with my electric razor only to discover it was a wireless mouse.

 

A recent study reveals that almost one third of American workers are too smart for their jobs. Too many people study the arts in college rather than business and science, which is more in demand by employers. As a result, these art majors end up in lower level jobs for which they are over-educated (kind of like being a DJ on the radio!).  ***MARLAR: I can hear it now… “Okay, that’s a Big Mac and a Super-Sized Pibb. Would you like fries with that? Also, what’s your opinion of Picasso’s blue period? Please drive around.”

 

They savor pizza and burgers, no longer frighten children, and many of them can walk the streets without people knowing they have someone else’s cheeks, nose, lips and skin.  People who have had face transplants increasingly are going public, helping to transform an operation that six years ago was daredevil theory into one that is widely accepted.  At least 18 face transplants have been done around the world.  ***MARLAR: And Mickey Rourke couldn’t be more excited.

 

 

WONDER WOMAN

CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD TODAY’S EPISODE… “Frogs on Toadstools”

 

 

DAILY COMEDY CLIP

CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD TODAY’S EPISODE… Bob Smiley, “Mother in Law”

 

 

AS THE JUNGLE TURNS – WEEKDAY VERSION

CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD TUESDAY’S EPISODE  
OPEN: And now, FancyMonkey.com, (Show Name), and (Station Call Letters) bring you As the Jungle Turns!   When last we left the jungle, the animals were tired of running scared from the giant gorilla – but when they stopped and tried to be friends, the gorilla captured Millard again!  Fortunately, they stomped on the gorilla’s foot and he let Millard go – but now what do they do?

 

CLOSE: Ah… the animals are finally moving in a positive direction!  Praying… why didn’t I think of that?  Will prayer be the answer to the problem?  Find out next time, As the Jungle Turns!

 

 

AS THE JUNGLE TURNS – SATURDAY/SUNDAY VERSION

CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD THE EPISODE FOR THE WEEKEND OF JANUARY 23/24

 

OPEN: And now, FancyMonkey.com, (Show Name), and (Station Call Letters) bring you As the Jungle Turns!  Last time, the new king of the jungle, Louis the lion, decided he didn’t want to be king anymore because he was too little and didn’t know what to do.  So he (and the rest of the animals) went out to find someone new to be king… but now they’re in a really dark and scary part of the jungle…

 

CLOSE: Maybe Louis has a point, maybe the animals DO need someone else to be king of the jungle!  Someone big, strong, and more importantly – brave!  What will Louis do?  Find out next time, As the Jungle Turns!

 

***You may simulcast “As the Jungle Turns” on the Internet stream of your live broadcast only. Any other Internet use of “As the Jungle Turns” in whole or part including podcasting of your live broadcast is a violation of copyright law. Thank you for your cooperation on this vitally important issue. If you have any questions, please e-mail us and ask about “Jungle Jam & Friends the Radio Show” usage.

 

 

MOMENT OF DUH

A Walgreen’s drug store clerk in Denver, Colorado, might want to think about finding a better weapon.

Police report that a man with a barbed wire tattoo on his neck threatened the clerk with what appeared to be Mace or a stun gun and demanded money. The clerk fought back, and the two struggled. The thief apparently decided to give up and started to run out when the clerk grabbed the first weapon he could find and threw it at the robber. It was the cash register drawer. The thief stopped to scoop the money off the floor, then fled.   ***MARLAR: The clerk must be a Liberal… he tried to solve the crime problem by throwing money at it.

 

 

TOP TEN

TEN INDICATORS IT’S TIME TO GO ON A DIET

  1. You dance and it makes the band skip.
  2. You are diagnosed with the flesh eating virus, and the doctor gives you 22 more years to live.
  3. You put mayonnaise on an aspirin.
  4. You go to the zoo and the elephants throw you peanuts.
  5. Your driver’s license says, “Picture continued on other side.”
  6. You ran away and they had to use all four sides of the milk carton for your picture.
  7. You learn you were born with a silver shovel in your mouth.
  8. You could sell shade.
  9. Your blood type is Ragu.
  10. You need an appointment to attend an ‘open house’.

 

 

THE FILES OF LAW & DISORDER

Be polite in Poland!

 

FILE #1: This is no Polish joke. Police in Poland are trying to force citizens to stop swearing by handing out $160 fines. Officers say they have already collected thousands of dollars and they say the country is more “peaceful” as a result. The fines were introduced after a growing number of complaints that there was too much foul language being used in public. Witold Marczuk, the head of the Warsaw City Police said that he and his officers noticed an increase in swearing on the streets but until now had merely “talked to people and given them a small lecture.” However the fine thing seems to be working so well they may continue it well into the next year.

 

FILE #2: Police in Blue Springs, Missouri, got an early morning call from a man who said his girlfriend was having trouble breathing. They discovered she had a cell phone stuck in her throat. Turned out the man wanted the phone, she refused and to keep him from getting it, she put it in her mouth and tried to swallow it.

 

FILE #3: Officials at the HMP Kirkham prison in Lancashire, England admit it wasn’t the best thought out plan. Prisoners who were willing to volunteer to help make Christmas lunch for elderly people at a local day center were given the opportunity to purchase a raffle ticket for $2 bucks. And the grand prize of the raffle — getting out of jail for one day! The head warden of the prison claims he was unaware of the prize. Prison officials say the promotion was designed to encourage good behavior. But the get-out-of-jail-free card has since been withdrawn as a prize.

 

STRANGE LAW: In the state of North Dakota, beer and pretzels cannot be served at the same time in any bar or restaurant.

 

 

THIS IS YOUR BRAIN ON DRUGS

How do you keep the police from taking evidence from you?  Eating the evidence is one idea… but you might want to bring something to wash it down with if you’re planning on swallowing cash.

A Russian man who was caught trying to bribe a policeman tried to destroy the evidence by eating the money.  The man, from Ussurisk, was already facing minor drug charges when he approached his investigating officer and offered him £1,200 cash to drop the case.  But when the officer refused the bribe, the alleged drug-dealer began scoffing the notes to destroy evidence of the attempted bribe.  He managed to eat one banknote before being arrested and charged with attempting to bribe a public official.  Head of the anti-drugs squad Ivan Chaika said: “This is not the first time someone has tried to bribe one of my men, but it’s the first time I can remember someone ever trying to eat the evidence.”  ***MARLAR: The man is now pleading insanity, saying he heard his mother’s voice telling him to eat his greens…

 

 

PHONER PHUN

Why is it that only women have bridal showers?  Shouldn’t there be groom showers too?  If there were, what would the gifts be?

 

 

BIBLE BRAIN BUSTER!

QUESTION: From what mountain did Moses see all of the promised land?

ANSWER: Mount Nebo (Deuteronomy 32:49-50)

 

 

QUESTION IMPOSSIBLE

QUESTION: Adorned with classical columns, what structural addition did Thomas Jefferson have made to the White House during his term in office?

ANSWER: A hen house.

 

 

TRUE OR FALSE

Pay attention!  If our next player doesn’t answer all ten T/F questions correctly we start all over from question #1!  First person to answer question #10 correctly is our winner!

  1. “LCD” stands for Liquid Crystal Display. (True)

 

  1. In the Peanuts comics, the catcher on the gang’s baseball team was Linus. (False, Schroeder)

 

  1. Irene Lorenzo was Edith Bunker’s wealthy liberal cousin from Tuckahoe, New York. (False, Maude Finlay)

 

  1. My great-grandfather was Herbert Henry Asquith, Britain’s prime minister during the beginning of World War I, I am Peter O’Toole. (False, Helena Bonham Carter)

 

  1. A February 2001 episode of the “Today Show” featured five births on live TV. (False, Good Morning America)

 

  1. In 1970 Paul McCartney’s first solo album was called “McCartney”. (True)

 

  1. The Oscars are presented by the Hollywood Foreign Press Association. (False, Golden Globes)

 

  1. Melanie Griffith starred in “The Rocky Horror Picture Show”, as well as “Atlantic City”, and “The Client.” (False, Susan Sarandon)

 

  1. Mel Gibson’s father was not only a New York rail brakeman, but also the “Jeopardy” grand champion for 1968. (True)

 

  1. TV series “Welcome Back, Kotter” made a star out of John Travolta. (True) (audio clip)

 

 

TABLOID MATCH GAME

You have to match the blank in the tabloid headline with the word or phrase that has been removed!

WATCHING PAINT DRY __________ (COMPETITION / CHAMPIONSHIPS)

The first International World Watching Paint Dry Championship is being held over the next two months.  Competition is stiff.

Watching paint dry isn’t as boring as it sounds with people around the world posting pictures of themselves staring at walls in order to be crowned the World Watching Paint Dry champion.

The competition has proved popular across the globe, with contestants from the US, India, Russia, Brazil, Australia, China and Hungary all posting pictures of their paint-watching escapades.

Those looking to compete in the championships must send in a photo of themselves watching paint dry and state the longest time they’ve managed to stare at a wall of drying paint without looking away.  The organizers will then invite the top 64 paint watchers from around the world to a small town in central England where the paint watching elimination tournament will take place.

In the preliminary rounds, a wall will be painted with the favorite color of each contestant and they will have to stare at the wall for as long as they can.  There is a five-minute break every hour. If the paint dries before a contestant gives up, they must continue staring at the wall until all contestants have been eliminated.

In the semi-finals and finals, contestants will stare at a wall painted with a color they dislike and they must stand within six feet of the other competitor.

 

 

THE WAY TOO EARLY IN THE MORNING TO UNDERSTAND THE PUNCHLINE EVEN AFTER TWO CUPS OF COFFEE JOKE OF THE DAY

JOKE #1

A standup comedian comes home to a burned down house.  His sobbing and slightly-singed wife is standing outside.  “What happened, honey?” the comic asks.

“Oh, John, it was terrible,” she weeps.  “I was cooking, the phone rang.  It was your agent.  Because I was on the phone, I didn’t notice the stove had caught on fire.  It went up in seconds.  Everything is gone.  I nearly didn’t make it out of the house.  Poor Fluffy is gone…”

“Wait!  Back up a minute,” the comedian says.  “My agent called?”

 

JOKE #2

Mrs. Jones was reading a letter at breakfast. Suddenly she looked up
suspiciously at her husband. “Henry,” she said, “I’ve just received a letter from Mother saying she isn’t accepting our invitation to come and stay, as we do not appear to want her. What does she mean by that? I told you to write and say that
she was to come at her own convenience. You did write, didn’t you?”

“Ah, yes, I did,” said the husband. “But I couldn’t spell convenience,
so I made it risk.”

 

JOKE #3

A visitor once asked, “Does it ever rain in Arizona?”

A rancher quickly answered, “Yes, it does. Do you remember in the Bible
where it rained for 40 days and 40 nights?”

The visitor replied, “Yes, I’m familiar with Noah’s flood.”

“Well,” the rancher puffed up, “We got about two and a half inches of that.”

 

 

USELESS FACTS

In Wausau, Wisconsin, a 78-year-old man crashed his car through the glass door of a Burger King, backed up, parked, came inside and ate breakfast.  ***MARLAR: They say you can have it your way – and apparently that’s the way he wanted it.

 

English woman Daisy Hales pled guilty to stealing books to feed her oddball addiction. Her addiction?  Eating the paper!  ***MARLAR: She’s a voracious reader.

 

 

FEATURED FUNNIES

SILENT BREAK-IN

A man went to the Police Station wishing to speak with the burglar who had broken into his house the night before. “You’ll get your chance in court,” said the Desk Sergeant.

“No, no, no!” said the man. “I want to know how he got into the house without waking my wife. I’ve been trying to do that for years!”

 

 

IT MUST BE TRUE BECAUSE I HEARD IT ON THE RADIO!

Can a screwdriver save a man’s life? 

The family of a man in Hilo, Hawaii, is suing a doctor for implanting a screwdriver into his neck. During the surgery, Dr. Robert Ricketson asked the nurse to pass him a titanium rod for insertion, and she told him they were out. He allegedly felt he couldn’t keep the man under anesthetic with an unstable neck any longer, so he cut the shaft off a screwdriver on the instrument table and used that. The nurse claimed she was sent out of the room and told to keep quiet. The man gave Local News 6 an X-ray to prove he has a screwdriver in his neck.   ***MARLAR: I think a screwdriver is appropriate for this guy.  The doctor saved the guy’s life, and he’s SUING!  He MUST have a screw loose.

 

 

INSPIRATIONAL INSPIRATION

THE GIFT

A young man was getting ready to graduate from college.  For many months he had admired a beautiful sports car in a dealer’s showroom, and knowing his father could well afford it, he told him that was all he wanted.

As Graduation Day approached, the young man awaited signs that his father had purchased the car.

Finally, on the morning of his graduation his father called him into his private study. His father told him how proud he was to have such a fine son, and told him how much he loved him. He handed his son a beautifully wrapped gift box. Curious, but somewhat disappointed the young man opened the box and found a lovely, leather-bound Bible.

Angrily, he raised his voice at his father and said, “With all your money, you give me a Bible?” and stormed out of the house, leaving the holy book.

Many years passed and the young man was very successful in business. He had a beautiful home and wonderful family, but realized his father was very old, and thought perhaps he should go to him.

He had not seen him since that graduation day. Before he could make arrangements, he received a telegram telling him his father had passed away, and willed all of his possessions to his son. He needed to come home immediately and take care of things.

When he arrived at his father’s house, sudden sadness and regret filled his heart. He began to search his father’s important papers and saw the still new Bible, just as he had left it years ago. With tears, he opened the Bible, and began to turn the pages.

As he read those words, a car key dropped from an envelope taped behind the Bible. It had a tag with the dealer’s name, the same dealer who had the sports car he had desired. On the tag was the date of his graduation, and the words … PAID IN FULL.

How many times do we miss God’s blessings because they are not packaged as we expected?

 

 

DRIVE TIME DEVOTIONAL

A WORK OF PEACE

Read: James 3:13-18

The fruit of righteousness is sown in peace by those who make peace. —James 3:18

The small church in Umbarger, Texas, was an unlikely place for an international work of art. But toward the end of World War II, seven Italian prisoners of war, who were being held at a large camp nearby, were chosen to help decorate the church’s plain brick walls.

The prisoners were reluctant to aid their captors, but they agreed on the condition that their efforts be considered a contribution toward Christian brotherhood and understanding. But as they worked on their paintings and a woodcarving of the Last Supper, one of the POWs later recalled, “A spontaneous stream of good feelings began almost at once to flow among us.” No one spoke of the war or the past because “we were here for a work of peace and love.”

Our lives are filled with unlikely settings for introducing God’s peace. We can feel imprisoned by hard feelings, strained relationships, and confining circumstances. But peace has the power to break out anywhere. James reminded us that “the wisdom that is from above is . . . peaceable, gentle, willing to yield . . . . The fruit of righteousness is sown in peace by those who make peace” (James 3:17-18).

Wherever we are today, let’s ask the Lord to use us as His peacemakers. —David McCasland

 

O Prince of Peace, keep us, we pray,
From strife and enmity;
Help us to speak with loving words
That calm hostility. —Branon

 

The best peacemakers are those who know the peace of God.

 

 

LEFTOVERS

YOUR HEALTH IN THE FUTURE

How are we going to be eating in the future? WHAT will we be eating in the future?

In 25 years, dark chocolate, already recognized as both yummy and good for you, will be commonplace, while milk chocolate will be largely history. We also know red wine is good for you and more people will be drinking that as well. They say that down the road, those nasty trans fats will have been eliminated entirely from the food supply and food-borne infections will be drastically reduced. They also predict that 40 to 50 percent of us will be vegetarian. Plus, when you get a checkup, the doctor will prescribe what foods and supplements will be best for you. Your multivitamin and mineral supplements will be personalized for you depending on your age, and obesity and diabetes rates will have been steadily declining for 15 years.

 

 

LIFE… LIVE IT

How many minutes of exercise per week do you need to lose weight?

Scientists at the University of Pittsburgh have calculated how many minutes of exercise are needed to lose weight and keep it off. Researchers said you need 275 minutes per week. That’s 55 minutes a day, five days a week. When 200 women were given no more than 1,500 calories a day and told to exercise five days a week, the women who exercised for 275 minutes per week kept 10% or more of their original body weight off for two years.

 

 

JUST FOR FUN

BABY GENIUS
When you were a kid what did you want to be when you grew up? Four-year-old Priya Purewal of Irving, Texas, wants to be a neurosurgeon.

While most kids her age probably have no clue what a neurosurgeon is, Priya has a pretty good shot of being one someday. Priya’s IQ has been measured at between 148 and 170, placing her in the top two percent of the population. Priya was reading before she was even one and is now the latest child member of the high-IQ Mensa society.  ***MARLAR: Meanwhile, an overwhelming majority of kids at the other end of the IQ-scale say that when they grow up they want to be disc jockeys and stand up comedians.

 

 

FUN LIST

PROVERBS FOR TODAY

  • Home is where you hang your @
  • The Email of the species is more deadly than the mail.
  • A journey of a thousand sites begins with a single click.
  • You can’t teach a new mouse old clicks.
  • Great groups from little icons grow.
  • Speak softly and carry a cell phone.
  • Oh, what a tangled website we weave when first we practice.
  • The modem is the message.
  • Too many clicks spoil the browse.
  • The geek shall inherit the earth.
  • There’s no place like http://www.home.com
  • Don’t byte off more than you can view.
  • Fax is stronger than fiction.
  • What boots up must come down.
  • Windows will never cease.
  • Virtual reality is its own reward.
  • Modulation in all things.
  • Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day; teach him to use the net and he wont bother you for weeks.

 

 

MORE SHOW PREP STUFF…

THE BRICK

A young and successful executive was traveling down a neighborhood street, going a bit too fast in his new Jaguar. He was watching for kids darting out from between parked cars and slowed down when he thought he saw something. As his car passed, no children appeared.  Instead, a brick smashed into the Jag’s side door!  He slammed on the brakes and backed the Jag back to the spot where the brick had been thrown. The angry driver then jumped out of the car, grabbed the nearest kid and pushed him up against a parked car shouting, ‘What was that all about and who are you? Just what the heck are you doing? That’s a new car and that brick you threw is going to cost a lot of money. Why did you do it?’ The young boy was apologetic.  ‘Please, mister…please, I’m sorry but I didn’t know what else to do,’ He pleaded. ‘I threw the brick because no one else would stop…’ With tears dripping down his face and off his chin, the youth pointed to a spot just around a parked car. ‘It’s my brother, ‘he said ‘He rolled off the curb and fell out of his wheelchair and I can’t lift him up.  Now sobbing, the boy asked the stunned executive, ‘Would you please help me get him back into his wheelchair? He’s hurt and he’s too heavy for me.  Moved beyond words, the driver tried to swallow the rapidly swelling lump in his throat. He hurriedly lifted the handicapped boy back into the wheelchair, then took out a linen handkerchief and dabbed at the fresh scrapes and cuts. A quick look told him everything was going to be okay. ‘Thank you and may God bless you,’ the grateful child told the stranger. Too shook up for words, the man simply watched the boy push his wheelchair-bound brother down the sidewalk toward their home.  It was a long, slow walk back to the Jaguar. The damage was very noticeable, but the driver never bothered to repair the dented side door. He kept the dent there to remind him of this message: ‘Don’t go through life so fast that someone has to throw a brick at you to get your attention!’ God whispers in our souls and speaks to our hearts. Sometimes when we don’t have time to listen, He has to throw a brick at us. It’s our choice to listen or not.

 

 

OTHER STUFF I WANT TO CRAM INTO TODAY’S PREP

Nations with high Muslim populations are expressing disdain for ISIS. According to newly released data that the Pew Research Center collected in 11 countries with significant Muslim populations, people from Nigeria to Jordan to Indonesia overwhelmingly expressed negative views of ISIS. In Lebanon, a victim of one of the most recent attacks, almost every person surveyed who gave an opinion had an unfavorable view of ISIS, including 99% with a very unfavorable opinion.

 

Sometimes a call from God is not enough to keep a pastor in his post. According to Christian Headlines, Many say they were driven away by conflict and burnout. So says a new survey of former pastors from four denominations. The single biggest reason (40 percent) for leaving was “a change in calling.” Conflict in the church drove out 25 percent. And 19 percent succumbed to burnout. Those were the top three reasons in the survey by LifeWay Research released earlier this month.

http://dlvr.it/DGQ2pd

 

 

What can we do about persecution? The first thing we can do is pray. However, is might be intimidating to know where to start. That’s why voice of the Martyers has released the VOM prayer app. The app provides one new prayer request every day and can be set with a daily reminder, allowing you to pray powerful, specific prayers for your brothers and sisters under persecution around the world.

http://bit.ly/1VnS1bv

 

 

FOUR SIGNS YOU NEED TO LEARN TO SLOW DOWN

4 signs you need to learn to slow down from Relevant Magazine.

You Feel Like You’re in Your Glory When You’re Busiest.

You’re More Fascinated With Gadgets Than With God.

Your Favorite Compliment Has Become, “Wow. You’re Always so Busy.”

You Don’t Have Time for the Ones You Love.

http://darrenmarlar.com/2015/01/18/4-signs-you-need-to-slow-down/

 

 

It took months for Valerie Watts to sell the items she had purchased for her son after he was still born. But when she finally held a garage sale the crib was purchased by a craftsman in her community. In the course of their conversation Valerie shared about the death of her son. It was then that the craftsman decided to do something special. Rather than refinishing and selling the crib, he converted it into a wooden bench and then returned to Valerie as a memorial of her son.

http://darrenmarlar.com/2015/01/18/man-turns-stillborn-childs-crib-into-a-memorial-bench/

 

 

AND I LEAVE YOU WITH THIS THOUGHT

Thanks to the Interstate Highway System, it is now possible to travel from coast to coast without seeing anything. –Charles Kuralt

 

 

THE WAY WE WORK

(Updated as it comes available.  The Way WE Work is written by Mark Elfstrand from 1160Hope.com in Chicago.)

 

Flexing Your Talents

 

Over the weekend I read a rather eye opening perspective on new hiring practices in today’s marketplace. It alerts us to a significant difference in what a number of employers now value in their personnel. And the advice is particularly directed at the Generation X crowd preparing to send their own kids off to college.

The article comes from Dr. Jim Thrasher, director of Grove City College’s career services office at their Center for Vision & Values. If you’re not familiar with this group, the Center is “a leading forum for the study and application of freedom to economic, political, social, religious, and scientific issues.” Good thinkers, all of them.

This piece is titled, “Calling All Generation Xers…The Job Search: It’s Not What You’ve Done, But Who You Are.” (link below) Dr. Thrasher is convinced that Gen X parents need to understand the paradigm shift in job placement. It’s different from their day when the degree earned dictated the career path.

Previously, as one corporate recruiter explained, the college educated candidate showed up with the right degree and, if the company liked the person, the job was theirs. Today, companies are looking at a candidate’s design. It’s called “behavioral interviewing.”

In this new world of evaluating talent, aptitude and transferable skills are most prized. According to Dr. Thrasher, “The behavioral approach was developed by Development Dimensions International (DDI) and is being widely used by HR departments.” I’m already a believer in what is being preached on this.

To quote how this analysis is applied, “As the aptitude of the candidate is assessed, the company must confirm that the applicant has the ability to be trained (many times in a whole new field or career) to fulfill the job requirements.” The company also searches for people with specific transferable skills needed to excel. These transferable skills include characteristics and attributes applied in daily living, including modes of operation and design. And as Dr. Thrasher claims, “Transferable skills rule the day in today’s job market.”

This behavioral approach puts high emphasis on the “uniqueness” of the individual. Applicants have to present a certain “fit” to score the job. Once a company finds the desired design in a candidate, they can train them for specific roles.

This new model brought two things to my mind. First, when my son sent his resume off to a very large high tech firm, it went to several departments for jobs in which he took interest. But when the company called to offer him employment, they explained he didn’t quite fit any of those jobs. They did, however, suggest one that would fit. And like the behavioral approach indicates, my son has changed jobs within that corporation several times in a few years—each time being trained with his adaptable personality style.

The second item I recalled was taking a personality assessment a few years ago as part of a course offered with a men’s ministry. The evaluation tool, “Your Unique Design,” costs $35 to complete. The benefit of knowing your assessment results is to help you “discover and leverage your best gifts and talents that are part of your God-given personality.”

Once you complete the questions, you receive a 10-page Personal Profile Report. It explains your core strengths, talents, and abilities in detail. Developers believe you are “wired by God” and once you understand that wiring, you’ll see why you do what you do and─what makes you come alive! (Find out more at www.youruniquedesign.com.)

All my work life I’ve tried to make work fun. Only after reading my assessment from “Your Unique Design” did I see that my personality thrives on this. If a place ceases to be fun (or a job), I’m an unhappy camper! The payoff for others I’m around is that I try to make work fun for them as well—assuming we’re on task.

This blog message today is really meant to serve as a very practical reminder that God has created us in such a way that our uniqueness has purpose—especially in our work. I found it encouraging to learn that employers are now finding value in this uniqueness. Stronger, more effective workplaces will likely result!

In the Psalms, we are reminded of this uniqueness. King David wrote in Psalm 139, “Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex! Your workmanship is marvelous—how well I know it. You watched me as I was being formed in utter seclusion, as I was woven together in the dark of the womb.You saw me before I was born. Every day of my life was recorded in your book. Every moment was laid out before a single day had passed.” (Psalm 139:13-16, NLT)

Reality in the workplace today finds that graduates may wind up in a number of different jobs. In other words, you must be flexible. Important not only for your career, but for life as well.

You don’t have to explain that to Gumby!

That’s The Way WE Work. Click on the link to the right to connect via Facebook.

Catch “Let’s Talk with Mark Elfstrand” weekday afternoons from 4-6pm on AM 1160 Hope for Your Life. To listen to the live broadcast or a podcast of previous shows click here.

 

 

THE TICKET Movie Reviews with MARIE ASNER

Marie Asner has been reviewing films for over 30 years. Her outlets include radio, print and Internet.  For more in-depth movie reviews of the following films, visit www.Tollbooth.org.  Ratings from 1 (Low) to 5 (High).

 

JANUARY 15, 2016…

 

The Forest—This film is set in a Aokigahara Forest region of Japan where people go to commit suicide.  Natalie Dorman is looking for her twin sister and hopes she is not found in this forest.  Also in the cast is Taylor Kinney (Lady Gaga’s boyfriend). “The Forest”  is rated R. No rating.

 

13 Hours: Secret Soldiers of Benghazi—Director Michael Bay does a film with the theme of a group of Special Forces soldiers who decide, against odds, to protect the civilians in the Benghazi compound. The cast includes James Badge Dale, John Krasinski, Max Martini and Toby Stephens. “13 Hours: Secret Soldiers of Benghazi” is rated R. Rating of 2.

 

Ride Along 2—A continuation of the “friendship” between Kevin Hart, a new police officer, and his fiancee’s father, Ice Cube, who is also a policeman. In this sequel, Kevin goes to Miami in pursuit of a criminal (Benjamin Bratt) and guess who goes along, that’s right, Ice Cube. Also in the cast is Tika Sumpter. “Ride Along 2” is rated R. No rating.

 

Norm Of The North—An animated film about a polar bear (voice of Rob Schreider) who, with his three Lemming friends, goes to New York City to be a mascot. Well, stranger things have happened. You may recognize the voices of Heather Graham, Ken Jeong, Colm Meany and Loretta Devine. “Norm Of The North” is rated PG. Rating of 2.

 

JANUARY 22, 2016…

 

The 5th Wave is a science fiction movie about an alien attack on Earth. Stars Chloe Grace Moretz.

 

The Boy (formerly titled “The Inhabitant”) is a supernatural thriller about a possessed doll. Stars Lauren Cohen.

 

Dirty Grandpa has Robert De Niro hassling his grandson, Zac Efron, just before Zac’s wedding.

 

Mojave (opening in select cities) has Garrett Hedlund lost in the desert with a stranger.

 

Synchronicity (opening in select cities) is a film about time travel starring Michael Ironside and Brianne Davis.

 

# # # # #

 

 

 

WARNING:    Don’t believe anything you read on the Internet or email (including stuff you read here) unless you can confirm it with another source, and/or it is consistent with what you already know to be true. The opinions in this publication are not necessarily those of Darren Marlar, Marlar House Entertainment, OnAirPrep.com, or any company or organization affiliated with aforementioned.  (Regardless of how stupid you may think those opinions are.  So there – nyah!)

Darren Marlar credits all non-original material to the author whenever possible. All other material is original, used with permission, or author unknown. We welcome all comments, questions, and suggestions.  Darren can be reached via his website at www.DarrenMarlar.com.