January 22, 2016: Friday ONAIRprep

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PRINTER FRIENDLY VERSION: 20160122

 

 

WELCOME TO THE SHOW!

My manager said he really liked my show yesterday. He said a few more like that and I can go home.

 

 

BIBLE VERSE OF THE DAY

“He was despised and rejected by men, a man of sorrows, and familiar with suffering. Like one from whom men hide their faces he was despised, and we esteemed him not. Surely he took up our infirmities and carried our sorrows, yet we considered him stricken by God, smitten by him, and afflicted. But he was pierced for our transgressions, he was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was upon him, and by his wounds we are healed.”  –Isaiah 53:3-5

 

In everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the prophets. — Matthew 7:12

 

[Jesus] said to them, “It is I; don’t be afraid.” Then they were willing to take him into the boat, and immediately the boat reached the shore where they were heading. — John 6:20-21

 

 

HEARTLIGHT DAILY VERSE, PRAYER & THOUGHT

(From VerseOfTheDay.com)

You became imitators of us and of the Lord; in spite of severe suffering, you welcomed the message with the joy given by the Holy Spirit. — 1 Thessalonians 1:6

 

Thought: We find it so easy to let our circumstances determine our moods. Paul reminds this group of new Christians under attack that their new life in Christ had brought them joy despite the outwardly harsh circumstances they were facing. Their joy was not the fleeting, circumstance-determined veneer. Instead, they had welcomed the powerful message of salvation with joy! This joy was not dependent upon their circumstances. It was rooted in their Savior’s example, in his abiding presence through the Holy Spirit, and the salvation available through Jesus.

 

Prayer: Dear heavenly Father, please make my joy immune to outward circumstances and please empower that joy by your Holy Spirit. Please bless me as I seek to conform my life and attitude to the example of my Savior. Please help me become a better example of spiritual joy to those around me. In Jesus’ name I pray. Amen.

 

The Thoughts and Prayers for Today’s Verse are written by Phil Ware. You can email questions or comments to phil@heartlight.org.

 

 

BIRTHDAY VERSE” OF THE DAY

The chapter and verse corresponds to the month and the day!

1 Peter 1:22 NIV = Now that you have purified yourselves by obeying the truth so that you have sincere love for each other, love one another deeply, from the heart.

 

 

TODAY IS FRIDAY – JANUARY 22, 2016

(NOTE: Some holidays may be duplicated due to various calendars reporting conflicting dates)
WEIRD, WACKY, STRANGE, ZANY, ODD, BIZARRE, QUIRKY, UNUSUAL HOLIDAYS!
THERE ARE ONLY 339 SHOPPING DAYS UNTIL CHRISTMAS.   

 

This is CREATIVE FRUGALITY WEEK. *** In other words, coming up with interesting ways to save money… like canceling your cable service and use binoculars and a hidden microphone to watch your neighbor’s TV. Not that I’ve ever done that…

 

This is HUNT FOR HAPPINESS WEEK. *** Try looking in-between the sofa cushions. I found over two dollars in change, which made me extremely happy!

 

Today is BETTER BUSINESS COMMUNICATION DAY.  *** At least, I think it is.  The fax machine smeared the ink.

 

Today is NATIONAL BLONDE BROWNIE DAY. *** I’m too afraid to even ask to see the recipe.

 

Today is ANSWER YOUR CAT’S QUESTION DAY… a day to pay attention to your cat in case he’s curious about something. *** I never hear my cat say anything.  Then again, a cat’s got her tongue.

 

 

TODAY IS ALSO. . .

Celebration of Life Day

Roe vs. Wade Day

 

 

COMING UP NEXT

SATURDAY, JANAURY 23

National Handwriting Day

Snowplow Mailbox Hockey Day

AFRMA Fancy Rat & Mouse Day

 

SUNDAY, JANUARY 24

Belly Laugh Day

Beer Can Day

National Bible Sunday

National Compliment Day

National Peanut Butter Day

Talk Like a Grizzled Prospector Day

Visit Your Local Quilt Shop Day

 

MONDAY, JANUARY 25

A Room of One’s Own Day

Macintosh Computer Day

National Irish Coffee Day

Opposite Day

Robert Burns Day

Bubble Wrap Appreciation Day

 

TUESDAY, JANUARY 26

Lotus 1-2-3 Day

National Peanut Brittle Day

Toad Hollow Day of Encouragement

 

WEDNESDAY, JANUARY 27

Holocaust Memorial Day

International Mobile Phone Recycling Day

National Geographic Day

Thomas Crapper Day

Viet Nam Peace Day

 

THURSDAY, JANUARY 28

Data Privacy Day

National Kazoo Day

Thank a Plugin Developer Day

 

FRIDAY, JANUARY 29

Curmudgeons Day

Fun at Work Day

Freethinkers Day

National Pre-school Fitness Day

National Puzzle Day

Seeing Eye Dog Day

Thomas Paine Day

 

 

ON THIS DAY

1901: Queen Victoria of Great Britain died at age 82 after a reign of 64 years.

 

1963: The Drifters recorded “On Broadway.” It reached #9 on the Billboard Hot 100.

 

1964: The Wisconsin Cheese Foundation completed history’s largest cheese. The 34,591-pound cheddar took 43 hours to make. It was transported to the New York World’s Fair in a 45-foot refrigerated “Cheese-Mobile.” (audio clip)

 

1966: The Beach Boys recorded “Wouldn’t It Be Nice?”

 

1968: A fast-paced satirical review debuted on NBC-TV. “Laugh-In” featured Dan Rowan & Dick Martin, Goldie Hawn, Judy Carne, Alan Sues, Lily Tomlin, Arte Johnson, Ruth Buzzi, JoAnne Worley, Henry Gibson, and Gary Owens. (audio clip)

 

1969: Glen Campbell was awarded his first gold record for “Wichita Lineman.”

 

1983: The Steven Spielberg film E.T. became Hollywood’s top money-making movie, a position it held until 1993 when another Spielberg film, “Jurassic Park,” topped it. (audio clip)

 

1984: Apple introduced the Macintosh, the first computer to use point-and-click technology.

 

1988: Sue Zera of Columbia, Illinois, won $10-million on a lottery ticket that she bought accidentally by pressing the wrong button.

 

1990: Nairobi police arrested a Greek nun for trying to smuggle 6,000 bees into Kenya under her habit. She said she wanted to use the bees’ wax to make candles.

 

1994: Actors Burt Reynolds and Loni Anderson divorced. She got $2-million and a house.

 

1994: “Schindler’s List,” Steven Spielberg’s drama about the Holocaust, won Golden Globes for best dramatic picture and best director.

 

1997: The U.S. Senate confirmed Madeleine Albright as the nation’s first female secretary of state.

 

1998: Theodore Kaczynski pleaded guilty in Sacramento to being the Unabomber in return for a sentence of life in prison without parole.

 

2002: Columnist Dave Barry helped christen the Dave Barry Sewage Pump Station in Grand Forks, North Dakota. In a column, Barry had poked fun at Grand Forks and its sister city, East Grand Forks, Minnesota, for calling themselves the “grand cities.” Grand Forks offered to name a pump station after him if Barry would come visit. So he did.

 

2006: Kobe Bryant scored 81 points in a Los Angeles Laker 122-104 win over the Toronto Raptors, the second-highest total in NBA history. Wilt Chamberlain scored 100 points for Philadelphia against the New York Knicks on March 2, 1962. Bryant made 28 of 46 field goals and 18 of 20 free throws.

 

 

TODAY IN CHRISTIAN HISTORY

304: Vincent of Saragossa, one of the most famous martyrs of the early church, is killed. Starved, racked, roasted on a gridiron, thrown into prison, and set in stocks, he refused to sacrifice. According to Augustine, his fame extended everywhere in the Roman Empire and “wherever the name of Christ was known.”

 

1899: Pope Leo XIII warns James Cardinal Gibbons, senior hierarch of the Catholic church in America, against the “phantom heresy” of Americanism—the attempt to adapt the traditional doctrines and practices of the church to a more independent modern world.

 

1973: The United States Supreme court legalizes abortion in its Roe v. Wade decision.

 

 

HOLLYWOOD, SPORTS AND CELEBRITY FIGURE BIRTHDAYS

  • actress (Saw 2, “7TH Heaven”) Beverley Mitchell 34 (audio clip)
  • actress (“Law and Order: Criminal Intent”, “The Legend of Tarzan”, “The Wonder Years”) Olivia d’Abo 49 (audio clip)
  • actress (Untraceable, Under the Tuscan Sun, Unfaithful) Diane Lane 51
  • actress (The Exorcist) Linda Blair 57 (audio clip)
  • actor (V for Vendetta, Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull, Tron 2.0, Hellboy) John Hurt 76
  • actress (Carrie, “Twin Peaks”) Piper Laurie 84 (audio clip)

 

 

BEE-BOP BIRTHDAYS

(Music Artist Birthdays From SongFacts.com)

1917 : Albert “Pud” Brown

1924 : J.J. Johnson

1931 : Sam Cooke

1940 : Addie Harris (The Shirelles)

1949 : Stephen Ray Perry (Steve Perry) Lead singer of Journey

1949 : Nigel Pegrum (The Small Faces, Uriah Heep)

1960 : Michael Kelland John Hutchence (INXS)

1965 : D.J. Jazzy Jeff

1965 : Steve Adler (Guns N’ Roses)

1981 : Willa Ford

 

 

SECRETS OF THE UNIVERSE

How did a case of polio inspire a classic game?

While Eleanor Abbott of San Diego, California was recuperating from polio in the 1940s, she occupied herself with devising games and activities for youngsters who had polio. One of her inventions was called “Candy Land.” Her young friends liked the game so much, she submitted it to Milton Bradley Company where it was immediately accepted. Since then, Candy Land has been recognized internationally as a “child’s first game.”

 

 

CHRISTIAN ARTIST NEWS

Do you like the Christian Artist News you see below? It’s just a tiny sample of the 5-6 pages of material you could be receive every weekday… and it’s FREE!  Become one of their subscribers at ChristianRadioShowPrepServices.com!

The members of Audio Adrenaline were looking for the best Chicago pizza during a day off in the windy city this week. One company went above and beyond the call of duty to get the band in their restaurant. Lou Malnati’s Pizzeria saw their twitter post and invited the band to join them for dinner. They said: We promise you won’t be disappointed!  ***MARLAR: I’m in the Chicagoland area – and I have to agree they would not be disappointed!

 

Newsboys drummer Duncan Phillips is gearing up for the band’s tour with the Rock and Worship Roadshow. For Duncan that means getting his spinning drum platform in top shape. This week members of his team were replacing the stands for his spinning drums.

http://tsu.co/duncan/109123526

 

Another groaner from Citizenway. They tweeted a picture of a Koala with with text: What do you mean I’m not a bear. I have all the Koalifications.

http://twitter.com/citizenway/status/689070040604405760/photo/1

 

Ken is a driver for the rental car company Enterprise. Recently he had the chance to pick up one of his favorite bands, for King and Country, and a simple drive turned into his own personal concert. When the members of the band found that Ken was a big fan and also an aspiring artist they invited him to join them for a rendition of their song fix my eyes, even giving him his own solo part. Check out the impromptu song…

https://www.facebook.com/enterpriserentacar/videos/10153313532852555/ http://nrt.cc/fKCRentalCar

 

Jamie Grace loves food. That’s why she made food the topic of her latest Jamie Grace show video. However, the topic isn’t the food she likes, it’s the food she doesn’t eat. Jamie says that, even though she’s a total foodie, I’m a SUPER picky eater. Watch her humorous look at those foods.

https://youtu.be/KrlsaR8QVG8

 

Chris and Jodi, from Love and the Outcome, recently were part of a late night song writing session with Lincoln Brewster. The three were still up at 2am working on the new music but Jodi said she was able to go so late thanks to one important thing. She shared a picture of a table full of food and said food is everything, at least when you’re pregnant.

http://twitter.com/loveandoutcome/status/689482779340308481/photo/1

 

 

NEWS KICKERS

(No news on the weekends.  Audio clips are only valid for a few days before being removed from our servers.)

 

NEW NEWS KICKERS…

Owners of nearly a half-million diesel VWs and Audis in the U.S. are eligible for $1,000 in gift cards. One $500 gift card can be used to purchase anything. The other can be used for repairs, new tires, or toward the purchase of a new car.  ***VW Diesel owners get gift cards… meanwhile, Vin Diesel refuses to refund our ticket prices for The Last Witch Hunter.

 

As the nation’s capital prepares for a massive snowstorm, the Washington D.C. Snowball Fight Association has scheduled a giant Star Wars-themed snowball fight for Saturday. On the event’s page, organizers encourage participants to bring their best Star Wars costumes. ***I wouldn’t dress as Jar-Jar Binx though unless you plan on going to a hospital.

 

A Fiat that was used to transport Pope Francis during his visit to Philadelphia will be auctioned off at the Philadelphia Auto Show on January 29.  ***So if you’re one of those people that see the Virgin Mary in a bag of chips, or the image of Christ in an oil stain on your garage floor, then this could be the car for you!

 

Tori Spelling is being sued by AMEX for apparently being extremely late on her payments.  ***Meanwhile, most of America is asking “who the heck is Tori Spelling?”

 

 

NEWS KICKER EVERGREENS…

New research by the Harvard School of Public Health says that eating bacon reduces the vitality of a man’s sperm. ***Let me get this straight: So, not only is bacon tasty but it’s also a contraceptive?

 

According to new research, psychologists suggest that our brains find simple things beautiful.  ***MARLAR: Which might explain why people find Lindsey Lohan so attractive.

 

A Nielsen poll has confirmed what many have already observed — the nation’s teens are increasingly using texting as a major source of communication, but a communications expert feels parents should be aware that this trend may have some hidden dangers.  While it may not come as any surprise that teens text more than other age groups, what could be disturbing is exactly how much time they spend twiddling their thumbs on their cell phones. According to Nielsen, American children under the age of 18 send and receive roughly 2,800 texts per month, or about 93 per day.  ***MARLAR: On the plus side, they are doing a lot less talking.

 

Could your kitchen at home pass a restaurant inspection?  New research suggests that at least one in seven home kitchens would flunk the kind of health inspection commonly administered to restaurants.  The small study from California’s Los Angeles County found that only 61 percent of home kitchens would get an A or B if put through the rigors of a restaurant inspection. At least 14 percent would fail – not even getting a C.  ***MARLAR: Of course, this is just one part of the equation.  Home cooking might also be dangerous if your mother-in-law is cooking.

 

 

WONDER WOMAN

CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD TODAY’S EPISODE… “Zero in Roman Numerals”

 

 

DAILY COMEDY CLIP

CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD TODAY’S EPISODE… Mike Williams, “Pepper Spray & Battery Acid”

 

 

AS THE JUNGLE TURNS – WEEKDAY VERSION

CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD FRIDAY’S EPISODE  
OPEN: And now, FancyMonkey.com, (Show Name), and (Station Call Letters) bring you As the Jungle Turns!  When last we left the jungle, Gruffy Bear and Sully the Aardvark were about to go head to head in their regular checkers match… and it sounds as if they don’t pull any punches when it comes to playing the game or even trying to intimidate each other before the game begins!

 

CLOSE: Can’t miss them?  I don’t even know what Gruffy is TALKING about!  I don’t think I could follow those directions if they were printed out through MapQuest and fed into a GPS system!  And who is this new guy… Grizz?  We’ll find out next time, As the Jungle Turns!

 

 

AS THE JUNGLE TURNS – SATURDAY/SUNDAY VERSION

CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD THE EPISODE FOR THE WEEKEND OF JANUARY 23/24

 

OPEN: And now, FancyMonkey.com, (Show Name), and (Station Call Letters) bring you As the Jungle Turns!  Last time, the new king of the jungle, Louis the lion, decided he didn’t want to be king anymore because he was too little and didn’t know what to do.  So he (and the rest of the animals) went out to find someone new to be king… but now they’re in a really dark and scary part of the jungle…

 

CLOSE: Maybe Louis has a point, maybe the animals DO need someone else to be king of the jungle!  Someone big, strong, and more importantly – brave!  What will Louis do?  Find out next time, As the Jungle Turns!

 

***You may simulcast “As the Jungle Turns” on the Internet stream of your live broadcast only. Any other Internet use of “As the Jungle Turns” in whole or part including podcasting of your live broadcast is a violation of copyright law. Thank you for your cooperation on this vitally important issue. If you have any questions, please e-mail us and ask about “Jungle Jam & Friends the Radio Show” usage.

 

 

MOMENT OF DUH

Wanting to serve your country is a good thing – but don’t be DUHmb about how you prove your patriotism!

An 18-year-old northern India boy wanted to prove to his peers that he was tough enough, if not smart enough, to join the army and fight Pakistan. So to prove his point he drove an entire BOX of 1 inch nails into his feet and hands. The police called the action a “noble desire to serve the country.”  We call it a Moment of Duh!

 

 

TOP TEN

 

TOP TEN SIGNS YOU DON’T HAVE WHAT IT TAKES TO BE A COP

 

  1. You need at least 8 hours of sleep every night.

 

9.Sirens give you a headache.

 

  1. You can’t drive really fast, check a license plate on your in-car computer, talk on the radio, and drink coffee, all at the same time.

 

  1. When you see trouble brewing, your first reaction is to call 911.

 

  1. Gunfire hurts your ears.

 

  1. You’re being called for back-up, but you don’t go because it’s too dangerous.

 

  1. At the scene of a riot, you refuse to get out of the car until the crowd thins out.

 

3.A woman gives birth in the street and you give her a ticket for littering.

 

  1. You think frisking people and giving “mouth to mouth” to someone of your own gender is politically incorrect.

 

1.You’re a bleeder and you faint at the sight of a paper cut.

 

 

THE FILES OF LAW & DISORDER

Chewing tobacco ends up foiling the acts of a car thief!

 

FILE #1: This is just great. A 26-year-old man stole a truck after he found it had been left with the engine running in a shopping center in Vancouver, Washington. But as he drove away, he reached for a cup in the truck which he thought was a soft drink. Turns out it was the truck owner’s chewing tobacco-spit cup! So our hero took a big swig then immediately began to gag and choke. It was so bad he had to stop and call 911 help. Little did he know, help was already on the way. The owner had returned just in time to see the crook driving off and immediately called 911 himself. Cops, laughing hysterically no doubt, arrived minutes later.

 

FILE #2: Sometimes those nasty ice storms can be beneficial.  When a woman pulled into her driveway in Scarborough, Maine, she found another car there. Shawn Tarr told her he had tried to turn around in the driveway, but got stuck — it was so icy he couldn’t get traction. Could she help him? Sure, she said, but then she noticed her laptop computer in his car. She quietly sent her daughter in to call the police, then pretended to help him. When she saw her chance, she grabbed her laptop and ran into the house. When the police arrived, Tarr was still trying to escape by trying to put some boards under the tires to get traction.

 

FILE #3: In Dublin, a woman was locked overnight in a pub has won $5,135 in damages from the bar’s owners. Marian Gahan fell asleep on the toilet in Searsons Pub in central Dublin, and did not wake until 2 am, by which time the pub was closed. Gahan sued the pub’s owners, Guinness Ireland Group Ltd., for failing to check the toilets before locking up and won the case.

 

STRANGE LAW: Montana law states that it is illegal to have a sheep in the cab of your truck without a chaperone.
THIS IS YOUR BRAIN ON DRUGS

Stopping at a stop sign gets one man arrested for drunk driving!

Athens, Georgia police said an officer found a drunken 20-year-old University of Georgia student who tried to drive home after a party passed out at a stop sign with the car still running. The officer found the woman about 2 a.m. Sunday asleep with the car still in drive. The officer put the car in park and turned off the engine.  When the woman awoke a few minutes later, she told police she’d been drinking at a house party earlier that night. The woman, who was not identified, was charged with a DUI and underage drinking.

 

 

PHONER PHUN

This is CREATIVE FRUGALITY WEEK.  So, how are you frugal in your own home?  What do you do to save money around the house, on the road, at work…?

 

 

BIBLE BRAIN BUSTER!

QUESTION: Who said “The grass withers, the flower fades,
but the word of our God stands forever.” 


ANSWER: The prophet Isaiah
(Isaiah 40:8)

 

QUESTION: What is like apples of gold in pictures of silver? 

ANSWER: A word fitly spoken. (Proverbs 25:11)

 

 

QUESTION IMPOSSIBLE

QUESTION: How long would you have to yell in order to produce enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee?  (If you can guess within a month of the actual answer we’ll consider it a correct answer.)

ANSWER: 8 years, 7 months and 6 days.  ***MARLAR: Unless you’re our boss, who can do it in half the time.

 

 

TRUE OR FALSE

Pay attention!  If our next player doesn’t answer all ten T/F questions correctly we start all over from question #1!  First person to answer question #10 correctly is our winner!

  1. 75 percent of people wash from top to bottom when they shower. (True)

 

  1. Russia and North America are actually only 4 kilometers apart. (True! At the nearest point.)

 

  1. The country furthest away from any ocean is Afghanistan. (False… it’s China.)

 

  1. Tibetan Mountain people use Yaks milk instead of money. (True!)

 

  1. If translated, the country of Spain means “Land of the Rabbits.” (True.)

 

  1. 50% Of the world’s salt is used each year to de-ice roads in America. (False… it’s only about 10%)

 

  1. According to Ann Landers, you should call your neighbor at 2 a.m. if his dog keeps you awake at night. (True)

 

  1. The “Laugh-In” show ended with a pair of hands clapping forcibly until a station break took over. (True)

 

  1. William Shatner played the Big Giant Head on the TV show “Dr. Who.” (False, “Third Rock from the Sun”)

 

  1. “Kamikaza” literally means “Hero of the Nation” in Japanese. (False, Divine Wind)

 

 

 

TABLOID MATCH GAME

You have to match the blank in the tabloid headline with the word or phrase that has been removed!

SUPER _________ INVADING PHOENIX (ANTS)

PHOENIX, AZ –  Newly engineered Super Soldier Ants are swarming into Phoenix.  There have reportedly been twenty-one fatalities in two days.

Super-soldier ants that grow to double or triple normal size, with huge oblong heads and giant vicious mandibles are swarming into the greater Phoenix region.

This happened shortly after a McGill University researcher induced the growth of super soldiers in his lab and shown this Incredible Hulk-like potential exists in all species.  Some “evil” forces got hold of the professors research and unleashed these ants – which reproduced at lightening speed – into the Southwest.   The Department of Homeland Security is  meeting today to address the situation.

 

 

THE WAY TOO EARLY IN THE MORNING TO UNDERSTAND THE PUNCHLINE EVEN AFTER TWO CUPS OF COFFEE JOKE OF THE DAY

JOKE #1

Fred was unfortunate enough to be hit by a 10-ton truck and landed up in hospital in intensive care.  His best friend Morris came to visit him.  Fred struggles to tell Morris, “My wife Sally visits me three times a day.  She’s so good to me.  Every day, she reads to me at the bedside.”

“What does she read?”

“My life insurance policy.”

 

JOKE #2

A husband and wife were at a party chatting with some friends when the
subject of marriage counseling came up. “Oh, we’ll never need that. My husband and I have a great relationship,” the wife explained. “He was a communications major in college and I majored in theater arts. He communicates real well and I just act like I’m listening.”

 

JOKE #3

A woman and her grandmother–a very forgiving and religious soul–were sitting on their porch discussing a member of the family.

“He’s just no good,” the young woman said. “He’s completely untrustworthy, not to mention lazy.”

“Yes, he’s bad,” the grandmother said as she rocked back and forth in her rocker, “but Jesus loves him.”

“I’m not so sure of that,” the younger woman persisted.

“Oh, yes,” assured the elderly lady. “Jesus loves him.”

She rocked and thought for a few more minutes and then added, “Of course, Jesus doesn’t know him like we do.”

 

 

USELESS FACTS

In Australia, a rugby player discovered what’s been causing headaches for the past several months. Seems that back in April, he had bumped heads with an opponent and part of the opponent’s tooth had broken off in his skull!  ***MARLAR: The man finally called his doctor after he noticed his hair was suffering from gingivitis.

 

An environmental pressure group claims that American babies are “born polluted” with traces of chemical pollutants already in their bodies.  ***MARLAR: If you’ve ever changed a diaper, you already know babies are filled with toxic pollution.

 

Graham crackers were invented by an evangelical minister who believed grains were the keys to repressing people’s sex drives.  ***MARLAR: And he might’ve had a point.  I’ve never felt sexy eating graham crackers.

 

 

FEATURED FUNNIES

BASEBALL IN HEAVEN

Bob was caught up in the spirit where he and the Lord stood by to observe a baseball game. The Lord’s team was playing Satan’s team. The Lord’s team was at bat, the score was tied zero to zero, and it was the bottom of the 9th inning with two outs.

They continued to watch as a batter stepped up to the plate whose name was Love. Love swung at the first pitch and hit a single, because Love never fails.

The next batter was named Faith, who also got a single because Faith works with Love.

The next batter up was named Godly wisdom. Satan wound up and threw the first pitch; Godly Wisdom looked it over and let it pass, because Godly Wisdom does not swing at Satan’s pitches. Ball one. Three more pitches and Godly Wisdom walked, because Godly wisdom never swings at Satan’s throws.

The bases were loaded. The Lord then turned to Bob and told him He was now going to bring in His star player. Up to the plate stepped Grace. Bob said he sure did not look like much! Satan’s whole team relaxed when they saw Grace.

Thinking he had won the game, Satan wound up and fired his first pitch. To the shock of everyone, Grace hit the ball harder than anyone had ever seen. But Satan was not worried; his center fielder, the Prince of the air, let very few get by. Prince of the Air went up for the ball, but it went right through his glove, hit him on the head and sent him crashing on the ground; then it continued over the fence for a home run! The Lord’s team won.

The Lord then asked Bob if he knew why Love, Faith, and Godly Wisdom could get on base but could not win the game. Bob answered that he did not know why. The Lord explained, “If your love, faith and wisdom had won the game you would think you had done it by yourself. Love, faith and wisdom will get you on base, but only My grace can get you home.

My grace is the one thing Satan cannot stop.”

 

 

IT MUST BE TRUE BECAUSE I HEARD IT ON THE RADIO!

THE CHOCOLATE HOTEL

The perfect gift for an anniversary or honeymoon – the Chocolate Hotel!

Chocolate lovers will have the time of the lives staying at some of the new rooms the Hotel Hershey in Pennsylvania. The hotel has whirlpool baths partly filled with Hershey’s unsweetened cocoa powder and instant non-fat dry milk. And guests can be coated in rich dark mud mixed with cocoa essence in a room with burning chocolate-scented candles. For $265, visitors can indulge in the three-hour Chocolate Escape – a whipped cocoa bath, cocoa butter scrub, Chocolate Fondue Wrap and a choice of massage or facial. A single 25-minute cocoa bath, the most requested item, costs $45. Cocoa contains antioxidants like vitamins A and E which increase blood circulation, and that cocoa butter moisturizes and soothes chapped skin. ***MARLAR: I wonder what they leave on the pillows?

 

 

INSPIRATIONAL INSPIRATION

FRECKLES

An elderly woman and her little grandson, whose face was sprinkled with bright freckles, spent the day at the zoo. Lots of children were waiting in line to get their cheeks painted by a local artist who was decorating them with tiger paws. “You’ve got so many freckles, there’s no place to paint!” a girl in the line said to the little fella.

Embarrassed, the little boy dropped his head. His grandmother knelt down next to him. “I love your freckles. When I was a little girl I always wanted freckles,” she said, while tracing her finger across the child’s cheek. “Freckles are beautiful.”

The boy looked up, “Really?”

“Of course,” said the grandmother. “Why, just name me one thing that’s prettier than freckles.”

The little boy thought for a moment, peered intensely into his grandma’s face, and softly whispered, “Wrinkles.”

 

 

DRIVE TIME DEVOTIONAL

THE PENETRATING WORD OF GOD

For the word of God is living and powerful, and sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing even to the division of soul and spirit, and of joints and marrow, and is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart.  –HEBREWS 4:12

Does God’s word ever cause you discomforts? When you read the Bible, does what you read make you uneasy? Do you find when you listen to sermons, that the Scripture seems aimed directly at you? You are experiencing the reality that the word of God is alive and can read your thoughts and judge your intentions. When God’s word speaks to you it is always for a purpose. God knows your heart and knows what you need to do to bring your life into conformity to Christ. If you have a problem with sinful talk, the word that comes to you will address the tongue. If you are struggling to forgive, God’s word will confront you with His standard for forgiveness. If pride has a stronghold in your life, God’s word will speak to you about humility. Whatever sin needs addressing, you will find you are confronted by God’s word on the matter. One way you can escape the discomfort of conviction is to avoid hearing God speak to you. You may neglect reading your Bible and stay away from places where it is taught. You may avoid those whom you know will uphold the truths of Scripture. The best response, however, is to pray as the psalmist did: “Search me, 0 God, and know my heart” (Ps. 139:23). Regularly allow the word of God to wash over you and find any sin or impurity (Eph. 5:26). Always make the connection between your life and what God is saying to you through His word. Make a habit of taking every word from God seriously, knowing that it is able to judge your heart and mind.

 

 

LEFTOVERS

TRUE?

According to one study, many women don’t go to coffee shops because they’re shabbily treated when they get there.

…That’s the conclusion of American economist Caitlin Knowles Myers. She, with her students as research assistants, staked out eight coffee shops in the Boston area and watched how long it took men and women to be served. Her conclusion: Men get their coffee 20 seconds earlier than do women.  ***MARLAR: I can’t see how this is true.  To what end?  What benefit would there be to the coffee shops?

 

 

LIFE… LIVE IT

BUZZ KILL

(Women’s Health) Wonder why you’re feeling so wired?  It’s probably the caffeine.

The caffeine content in soda varies widely, and few brands include that number on their labels, reports a Journal of Food Science study. If you’re trying to stay below the recommended limit of 300 milligrams of caffeine a day, here are the octane levels of your favorite:

  • Starbucks coffee (tall) – 280 milligrams
  • Red Bull (8.3 oz) – 80 milligrams
  • Vault Zero – 74 milligrams
  • Pepsi One – 57 milligrams
  • Mountain Dew – 55 milligrams
  • Diet Coke – 46 milligrams
  • Dr Pepper – 43 milligrams
  • Celestial Seasonings Morning Thunder black tea – 40 milligrams
  • Pepsi – 39 milligrams
  • Diet Pepsi – 37 milligrams
  • Coke – 34 milligrams

 

 

JUST FOR FUN

PRICE OF EDUCATION

A school principal was attacked recently because he wouldn’t let the students cheat on their exams!

And I thought schools were going downhill here in the United States! In India, a college principal suffered major burns from gasoline bombs recently because he refused to let students cheat on their exams! He was also attacked with hockey sticks, knives, and guns. The fact that he survived is a miracle! The trouble began when school authorities confiscated books and notes from 18 students going in to write an exam at the college campus. All the students then boycotted the exam and some hours later, a mob of angry students attacked the professor. Two students have been arrested and the college closed for an indefinite period.

 

 

FUN LIST

SUPER BOWL SUPER SCAM

The U.S. Department of Transportation is warning consumers who plan on attending the Super Bowl that some tour packages may not be as complete as you’d like to believe. In fact, many don’t include a ticket to actual game! Here are some signs that your Super Bowl trip package very well could be a rip-off:

  • Your tickets for the game read: Supper Bowl.
  • The hotel accommodations are for “four days and two nights.”
  • On the cover of the fancy brochure, the game is being called “The Greatest Event in Professional Bowling History!”
  • The whole thing, airfare included: 50 bucks.
  • Your “executive seats” are on the 60-yard line.

 

 

MORE SHOW PREP STUFF…

Is your teen “over-texting”?  Here are a few ideas to fight back.

(Good Housekeeping) In case you didn’t get the message, texting is the new talking. In fact, the average teen sends and receives over 3,300 texts per month, according to the Nielsen Company. That’s over 100 messages a day – more than seven times the average in 2007. There is no conclusive data on the health effects yet, but some psychologists worry that over-texting may cause anxiety and sleep problems. Fight back by following these rules from Sherry Turkle, Ph.D., professor and director of the Initiative on Technology and Self at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology:

  • Establish text free zones. Kids often open up at the dinner table and in the car, so be sure to protect those precious places. Agree that texting is not allowed during mealtime or on drives to and from school and activities.
  • Let phones rest at night. “Many kids text until 4 or 5 A.M.,” says Turkle. Require your child to charge her phone somewhere other than in the bedroom – like the kitchen.
  • Be a role model. Textaholics say their parents are always on their mobiles. Unplug your kids phones, then follow suit.

 

 

OTHER STUFF I WANT TO CRAM INTO TODAY’S PREP

BLESS YOU BOX

This cold and flu season, your kids can bless someone in a simple way. According to Focus on the Family’s Club House Jr., they can created a bless you box. The box is simply a tissue box decorated by the child by magazine officials say it can help encourage your kids to share and to reach out to others.

http://darrenmarlar.com/2015/01/21/the-bless-you-box/

 

 

GIVING TO THOSE WHO GIVE

YouTube prankster Dawson of Big Daws TV recently tried something different. He conducted a social experiment by dressing up as a homeless person to see whether people would be willing to help him out or not. But those who gave to him received a surprise. Their gift was returned along with an extra twenty dollars. Watch the video to see the response from those he met, including several people who were homeless themselves.

http://darrenmarlar.com/2015/01/21/giving-to-people-who-give-video/

 

A new study shows people’s bodies react to the same foods in very different ways. The study adds to a growing body of research that suggests people may be better able to achieve weight loss if their diet was tailored to them, rather than following general advice about foods to eat and avoid. According to Time, In the new study a team of Israeli researchers found that blood sugar levels varied widely among people after they ate, and these levels were highly variable even when the researchers had the people eat the exact same meal.

http://ti.me/1Hl6WRl

 

A southeastern Japan town of 1,700 people is on target to produce zero waste. According to a documentary produced by the Seeker Network, the town adopted a mandatory sanitation program in 2003. As part of the program, all residents now wash, clean and sort their trash into 34 categories. The intensive process has ensured that 80 percent of all waste gets recycled, reused or composted, and 20 percent is sent to landfills. But by 2020, Kamikatsu plans on having no use for landfills.

http://huff.to/1RIYAWa

 

Love is blind, but not for much longer. According to yahoo news, a Minnesota man who lost his eyesight to a degenerative retinal disease got to see his wife of nearly 50 years for the first time in a decade — thanks to a bionic eye. Allen Zderad is not able to see the details and facial features and so on. But upon getting the new technology, Allen said: just being able to acknowledge [my family’s] presence, not only by sound but also the image I get, is pretty exciting,”  http://ow.ly/JITXa

 

 

AND I LEAVE YOU WITH THIS THOUGHT

Don’t forget to enter our big new contest. Simply complete the sentence “I believe I may be gullible because……” and mail it to us here at (STATION). Be sure to enclose $75 in cash with every entry. We’ll name the winners later. Then again, maybe we won’t.  –HaLife

 

 

THE TICKET Movie Reviews with MARIE ASNER

Marie Asner has been reviewing films for over 30 years. Her outlets include radio, print and Internet.  For more in-depth movie reviews of the following films, visit www.Tollbooth.org.  Ratings from 1 (Low) to 5 (High).

 

JANUARY 22, 2016…

 

The 5th Wave—Aliens have attacked many times and Earth is about to give up.  Chloe Grace Moretz is one of the fighters who thinks there is still a chance with a secret weapon. Also in the cast are Nick Robinson, Ron Livingston, Maria Bello and Live Schreiber. “The 5th Wave” is rated R. Rating of 2.

 

Ride Along 2—It had to happen, a sequel.  In this story, Kevin Hart has gone through the police academy and has a job following a crook (Benjamin Bratt) to Miama. Of course, his future father-in-law, Ice Cube, comes along. Tika Sumpter plays Kevin’s girlfriend.”Ride Along 2 is rated PG 13. Rating of 2 for fans.

 

Mojave (opening in select cities)—In this drama, Garrett Hedlund is lost in the desert and meets Oscar Isaac.  The men end up chasing each other and all against this desert climate. “Mojave” is rated R. No rating.

 

Synchronicity (opening in select cities)—This is a time travel film about a man who has art work stolen from him and has to go into time to find the thief. Stars Michael Ironside and Brianne Davis. “Synchronicity” is rated PG 13. No rating.

 

JANUARY 29, 2016…

 

The Finest Hours is about a real life drama on the sea in 1950 with a dramatic rescue by the Coast Guard. Stars Chris Pine and Casey Affleck.

 

Here we go again and a new opening date—Jane Got Her Gun is set in the Old West about a woman defending her property against outlaws.

 

Kung Fu Panda 3 and this time he is being maneuvered into an arranged marriage. Voice of Jack Black.

 

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WARNING:    Don’t believe anything you read on the Internet or email (including stuff you read here) unless you can confirm it with another source, and/or it is consistent with what you already know to be true. The opinions in this publication are not necessarily those of Darren Marlar, Marlar House Entertainment, OnAirPrep.com, or any company or organization affiliated with aforementioned.  (Regardless of how stupid you may think those opinions are.  So there – nyah!)

Darren Marlar credits all non-original material to the author whenever possible. All other material is original, used with permission, or author unknown. We welcome all comments, questions, and suggestions.  Darren can be reached via his website at www.DarrenMarlar.com.