January 28, 2017: Saturday ONAIRprep

PRINT VERSION OF TODAY’S PREP: 20170128

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WELCOME TO THE SHOW!

Man, am I tired today. After taking so long to finally get out of bed, I’ve finally come to the realization that the amount of sleep required by the average person is about five minutes more.

In the Bible, Paul says we should be content in whatever state we’re in. That’s easier said than done in (ILLINOIS).

BIBLE VERSE OF THE DAY

Encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing. — 1 Thessalonians 5:11

Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up. — James 4:10

But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us. — 2 Corinthians 4:7

HEARTLIGHT DAILY VERSE, PRAYER & THOUGHT

(From VerseOfTheDay.com.)

Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, because when he has stood the test, he will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him. — James 1:12

Thought: This beatitude comes from Jesus’ brother. He had experienced it and not just taught it! James knew it was worth “hanging in” and “hanging on” when his faith was under attack. He affirmed that God loves us and that he has made incredible promises about what lies ahead for us. He knew that eventually our period of testing would be transformed into a time of great blessing. James wants us to know that God longs to bless us with life! After all, that’s why he sent Jesus. (cf. John 10:10)

Prayer: Dear LORD and Father, thank you for all those times that you strengthened me when I was under attack and sustained me when I was weary and ready to quit. Write “perseverance” deep within my soul and give me a spirit of tenacity so that I might serve you no matter what the outward circumstances of my life may be. In the mighty name of Jesus I pray. Amen.

The Thoughts and Prayers for Today’s Verse are written by Phil Ware. You can email questions or comments to phil@heartlight.org.

BIRTHDAY VERSE” OF THE DAY (The chapter and verse correspond to the month and day!)

Colossians 1:28 NIV = We proclaim him, admonishing and teaching everyone with all wisdom, so that we may present everyone perfect in Christ.

TODAY IS SATURDAY – JANUARY 28, 2017

(NOTE: Some holidays may be duplicated due to various calendars reporting conflicting dates)
WEIRD, WACKY, STRANGE, ZANY, ODD, BIZARRE, QUIRKY, UNUSUAL HOLIDAYS!
THERE ARE ONLY
331 SHOPPING DAYS UNTIL CHRISTMAS.

BUBBLE WRAP APPRECIATION DAY. ***Therapy is expensive, popping bubble wrap is cheap. You choose. (Pop all the virtual bubble wrap you want online. http://www.virtual-bubblewrap.com)

Today is FUN AT WORK DAY, a day to inject laughter into the workplace!  ***Hopefully we do that already if you listen to the show!

Only four more shopping days left until GROUNDHOG DAY. (audio clip)

TODAY IS ALSO…
A.F.R.M.A. Fancy Rat & Mouse Day
Data Privacy Day Link  Link
National Kazoo Day Link
National Seed Swap Day
Thank A Plugin Developer Day Link
Visit Your Local Quilt Shop Day

COMING UP NEXT (Just a list, we are not endorsing the holidays posted below.)

SUNDAY, JANUARY 29

Curmudgeons Day
Freethinkers Day
National Puzzle Day Link
Seeing Eye Dog Day
Thomas Paine Day
World Leprosy Day

MONDAY, JANUARY 30

Bubble Wrap Appreciation Day Link and Link
Croissant Day Link
Inane Answering Message Day

TUESDAY, JANUARY 31

Appreciate Your Social Security Check Day
Inspire Your Heart with Art Day
Street Children Day Link  Link

WEDNESDAY, FEBRUARY 01

Candy-Making Day
Car Insurance Day
Change Your Password Day Link
Decorating With Candy Day
G.I. Joe Day
Hula in The Coola Day
International Face & Body Art Day Link
Freedom Day
National Signing Day Link
Robinson Crusoe Day
Serpent Day Link
Spunky Old Broads Day
National Girls & Women in Sports Day

THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 02

Ayn Rand Day  Link
Candelmas
Crepe Day
Crepe Day or La Chandeleur Link
Groundhog Day
Groundhog Job Shadow Day
Hedgehog Day
Imbolc
Marmot Day Link
Sled Dog Day: 2
World Play Your Ukulele Day Link
World Wetlands Day Link

FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 03

Bubble Gum Day Link 
Give Kids A Smile Day Link
Four Chaplains Memorial Day
National Women’s Physicians Day Link
The Day The Music Died
Wear Red Day
Working Naked Day Link

SATURDAY, FEBRUARY 04

Barber Day
Facebook’s Birthday
Ice Cream For Breakfast Day Link
Take Your Child To The Library Day
Liberace Day
Medjoola Date Day
Quacker Day
USO Day
World Cancer Day Link

SUNDAY, FEBRUARY 05

Adlai Stevenson Day Link
Dump Your Significant Jerk Day
Move Hollywood & Broadway to Lebanon, PA Day
Popcorn Day Link
Shower With A Friend Day Link
Super Bowl 51
Weatherman’s [Weatherperson’s] Day
Western Monarch DayLink
World Nutella Day Link

MONDAY, FEBRUARY 06

Canadian Maple Syrup Day Link
Lame Duck Day
International Day of Zero Tolerance to Female Genital Mutilation Link

ON THIS DAY

1834: The Anglican clergyman and author Sabine Baring-Gould was born. He wrote novels, history, biographies, poetry, and the hymns “Onward Christian Soldiers” and “Now the Day Is Over.”

1913: Alfred Clark of East Corinth, Maine, patented the rocking chair churn. Alfred simply built a churn into a rocking chair so that people could make butter while they rocked.

1921: The National Football League franchise in Decatur, Illinois, was transferred to Chicago. The team took the name, Chicago Staleys for the 1921 season, but the following year they became the Chicago Bears, since the team was playing in the stadium of the Chicago Cubs.

1956: In his first national TV appearance, Elvis Presley sang “Heartbreak Hotel” on a summer replacement show featuring Tommy and Jimmy Dorsey.

1958: All Star Catcher Roy Campanella of the Brooklyn Dodgers was seriously injured in an auto accident in New York. He never played again.

1959: Vince Lombardi was named head coach of the NFL’s Green Bay Packers.

1960: Club owners voted to allow creation of a new NFL franchise to be known as the Dallas Cowboys.

1962: Johannes Relleke of Rhodesia was stung by 2,443 bees and survived.

1973: Ron Howard appeared in a M*A*S*H episode entitled “Sometimes You Hear the Bullet.”

1985: Dozens of top singing stars joined to record the anti-hunger anthem, “We Are the World,” written by Michael Jackson and Lionel Richie. When the video was released, Jackson was the only singer whose solos had been re-shot so that he could be seen singing alone.

1986: Space Shuttle Challenger broke apart 73 seconds into its flight, leading to the deaths of its seven crew members. The spacecraft disintegrated over the Atlantic Ocean, off the coast of central Florida, United States, at 11:39 a.m. EST.

1987: ABC-TV moved reporter Charles Gibson into the co-anchor chair next to Joan Lunden for the start of another era of “Good Morning America.” Eleven-year host, David Hartman, retired as original host of the show.

1993: Dallas Police revealed that grease burglars had hijacked more than seven tons of scrapings from griddles and deep-fat fryers in local restaurants in less than a month. The rotten grease had a street value of 13-cents a pound for use in cattle feed and cosmetics. (audio clip)

1998: Scientists in New York announced fossil ants dating back 90 million years, proving the existence of the insects back to the age of dinosaurs. The ancient ants were uncovered in New Jersey.

1999: Karasjok, in north Norway, recorded its coldest temperature of the century at a minus-60.2 degrees Fahrenheit. The town recorded minus-60.5 in 1886.

1999: Ford announced the purchase of Sweden’s Volvo for $6.45 billion.

2001: A 19-year-old robbery suspect in the Netherlands was allowed out of jail to take his driving test. In fact, a police officer went with him and returned him to his cell immediately afterward. Arrested only two hours before he was to take the test, the suspect kept his cool and passed it.

2005: European scientists confirmed the first known case of ‘mad cow’ disease in a goat.

2005: Condoleezza Rice became the 66th U.S. secretary of State and first African-American woman to hold the office.

2007: Some 10,000 people lost power for 45 minutes in Juneau, Alaska, when an over-confident eagle failed to clear power lines with a deer’s head in its talons. Apparently, the eagle found the head in the city’s landfill. The bird’s body and his prize were found at the scene of the broken cable.

TODAY IN CHRISTIAN HISTORY

814: Charlemagne, the first Holy Roman Emperor, dies. He was, in his day, not only one of the greatest political rulers of all time, he was, in his day, more influential in church matters than the pope. He saw his task as secular ruler “to defend with our arms the holy Church of Christ against attacks by the heathen from any side and against devastation by the infidels.”

1877: A Dwight L. Moody evangelistic campaign in Boston opens. Poet Walt Whitman attends and mocks afterward.

1881: Death of the Russian novelist Fyodor Dostoevsky who employed Christian themes in some of his greatest tales. His works remain among the most powerful ever penned.

1896: Death of Joseph Barnby who wrote the tunes to many favorite hymns, including “Just As I Am” and “When Morning Gilds the Skies.”

1907: Death of John Paton. In March of 1858, he and his young bride sailed from Scotland to the South Pacific to live among cannibals. His wife died in childbirth after a year of marriage and their baby died less than a month later. Paton dug their graves alone. A man of great faith, he survived numerous deadly threats from the islanders. On his return to Scotland four years later he married again and settled on a less violent island with his new wife. There he dug the first well and God used this water to teach “The Water of Life.” In 1869 Paton held his first communion with twelve native converts participating. Paton brought additional missionaries to the islands and by 1904 there were 17,000 converts.

HOLLYWOOD, SPORTS AND CELEBRITY FIGURE BIRTHDAYS

  • Actor (Radio Flyer, Deep Impact, Lord of the Rings trilogy) Elijah Wood, 36

  • actress (“You Wish”) Harley Jane Kozak 60

  • Actress/model Barbi Benton, 67

  • actress (Donna Culver Krebbs on “Dallas”) Susan Howard 74 (audio clip)

    actor (“M*A*S*H) Alan Alda 81 (audio clip)

BEE-BOP BIRTHDAYS

(Music Artist Birthdays From SongFacts.com)

1913 : Bill Phillips

1927 : Ronnie Scott

1929 : Mr. Acker Bilk

1943 : Dick Taylor (The Pretty Things)

1944 : Brian Keenan (Manfred Mann, the Chambers Brothers)

1946 : Rick Allen (The Box Tops, The Gentrys)

1947 : David Byron (Uriah Heep)

1948 : Corky Laing (Mountain)

1968 : Rakim

1968 : DJ Muggs (Cypress Hill)

1968 : Sarah McLahlan

1977 : Tweety (Next)

1977 : Joseph Fatone

1980 : Nick Carter (Backstreet Boys)

SECRETS OF THE UNIVERSE

How did a case of polio inspire the classic game “Candy Land”?

While Eleanor Abbott of San Diego, California was recuperating from polio in the 1940s, she occupied herself with devising games and activities for youngsters who had polio. One of her inventions was called “Candy Land.” Her young friends liked the game so much, she submitted it to Milton Bradley Company where it was immediately accepted. Since then, Candy Land has been recognized internationally as a “child’s first game.”

CHRISTIAN ARTIST NEWS

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(NONE TODAY)

NEWS KICKERS

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NEW NEWS KICKERS…

NEWS KICKER EVERGREENS…

AS THE JUNGLE TURNS

CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD MONDAY’S EPISODE

OPEN: And now, FancyMonkey.com, (Show Name), and (Station Call Letters) bring you As the Jungle Turns! When last we left the jungle, Gruffy was thinking about how great it was that his cave was situated right in front of the main path everyone used to get wherever they were going. That meant he could see all of his friends everyday! And this morning, Nozzles the Elephant passed by on the way to the library…

CLOSE: Being an entrepreneur is a good thing… right? Besides, Nozzles did tell Gruffy to build the toll booth, right? He was just being sarcastic, but still… it was a very interesting business idea! We’ll find out next time how Gruffy’s friends like the new toll booth, As the Jungle Turns!

***You may simulcast “As the Jungle Turns” on the Internet stream of your live broadcast only. Any other Internet use of “As the Jungle Turns” in whole or part including podcasting of your live broadcast is a violation of copyright law. Thank you for your cooperation on this vitally important issue. If you have any questions, please e-mail us and ask about “Jungle Jam & Friends the Radio Show” usage.

MOMENT OF DUH

Just call it the double-decker bus of the Deep South. Unfortunately it’s not exactly legal…

…Police in Albertville, Alabama arrested a 37-year-old mother for endangering the welfare of a child after she allegedly let her 13-year-old daughter ride in a cardboard box on top of their van! Police received a call about a minivan on a state highway with a child riding on top. The woman told police the box was too big to go inside the van, and that her daughter was inside the box to hold it down. And she was under the impression it was perfectly safe because after all — she had secured it to the van with a clothes hanger! Fortunately the daughter wasn’t harmed and turned over to a relative as mom went off to jail.

TOP TEN

TOP TEN KIDS’ LETTERS TO GOD

10. Dear GOD, Please put another holiday between Christmas and Easter. There is nothing good in there now. – Amanda

9. Dear GOD, Instead of letting people die and having to make new ones, why don’t you just keep the ones you have? – Amy

8. Dear GOD, Maybe Cain and Abel would not kill each other so much if they had their own rooms. It works with my brother. – Larry

7. Dear GOD, If you watch me in Church Sunday, I’ll show you my new shoes. – Mickey

6. Dear GOD, Is Reverend Coe a friend of yours, or do you just know him through the business?- Donny

5. Dear GOD, I bet it is very hard for you to love all of everybody in the whole world. There are only 4 people in our family and I can never do it. – Nan

4. Dear GOD, In school they told us what you do. Who does it when you are on vacation? – Jane

3. Dear GOD, I read the Bible. What does “begat” mean? Nobody will tell me. Love Alison

2. Dear GOD, How did you know you were God? Who told You? – Charlene

1. Dear GOD, Are you really invisible or is it just a trick? – Lucy

THE FILES OF LAW & DISORDER

It’s the ultimate crime… stealing a police officer! 

FILE #1: The plywood cutout of a sheriff’s office patrol car along a road in Albany, Oregon, was stolen sometime early Sunday. The owner of the cutout, Rick Pyburn, said he called the sheriff’s office on Sunday morning after realizing it was gone. Pyburn made the cutout last fall to get drivers to slow down and it worked, adding that “We’ve had a lot of fun with it.” The next cutout he puts out will most likely have to be chained or bolted down.

FILE #2: Police in Wacken, Germany, broke down the door of a couple out-of-town on vacation because their neighbors complained that the sound of a rooster was coming out of their home between 2am and 4am every night. The cops found a recording device with a timer set on high volume with the speaker placed directly against the neighbors’ wall.

FILE #3: A 64-year-old man got so angry at a pair of grout workers who showed up seven hours late that he got his gun and took a shot at their truck.  Agron Henci said he was defending himself because he felt threatened after an argument with the men.  Henci told officers that he ordered the men to leave after they showed up at 3:45 p.m. to do a job that was promised at 9 a.m. One of the workers became angry, called him names and kicked his front door.  Henci was charged with two counts of attempted murder and taken to jail.

STRANGE LAW: If you live in Corpus Christi, Texas, don’t plan on raising alligators from your home. It is illegal.

THIS IS YOUR BRAIN ON DRUGS

A man and woman are not only charged with public drunkenness, but then get charged again for being drunk in the judge’s office!

A southeastern Pennsylvania man and woman seeking leniency on public drunkenness fines he hasn’t paid have now been cited for public drunkenness in the judge’s office. The pair visited District Judge Rodney Hartman’s office in New Holland, Pennsylvania responding to a warrant notice over fines the man owes for a previous public drunkenness conviction. He said he didn’t have money to pay. Someone noticed that the two appeared drunk at the judge’s office. Police gave Breathalyzer tests and say the two had blood-alcohol levels far above the legal limits for driving. The boyfriend and girlfriend both pleaded guilty to new charges of public drunkenness. They were released in custody of a relative.

PHONER PHUN

What things should a man never do past the age of 30? What have you or your husband or someone you know done past the age of 30 that they regretted later on? For example… a man over 30 should never “ride a mechanical bull.”

What’s the largest thing you’ve ever swallowed? (See today’s Moment of Duh.)

BIBLE BRAIN BUSTER!

QUESTION: What judge was a wheat farmer? 


ANSWER: Gideon
(Judges 6:11 – “The angel of the Lord came and sat down under the oak in Ophrah that belonged to Joash the Abiezrite, where his son Gideon was threshing wheat in the winepress to keep it from the Midianites.”)

QUESTION: What were the 7 miracles Jesus performed as recorded in the Book of John?
ANSWER:

1. Changed water into wine (2:1-11)
2. Healed an official’s son (4:43-54)
3. Cured a sick man in Jerusalem (5:1-15)
4. Fed 5,000 with a sack lunch (6:1-15
5. Walked on water (6:16-21)
6. Healed a man born blind (9:1-12)
7. Raised his friend Lazarus from the dead (11:1-44)

QUESTION IMPOSSIBLE

QUESTION: His real name is Bibendum. What name do we usually know this fictional character by?

ANSWER: The Michelin Tire Man

TRUE OR FALSE

Pay attention! If our next player doesn’t answer all ten T/F questions correctly we start all over from question #1! First person to answer question #10 correctly is our winner!

1. Earth is the only planet that rotates clockwise. (False, it’s Venus)

2. It is said that no piece of paper can be folded more than 4 times. (False, it’s 7 times)

3. Famous Aviator Howard Hughes will forever be known as “The Lone Eagle”? (False, it was Charles Lindbergh)

4. The ultrasound technology called “Doppler” is used today in weather mapping, brain surgery, and cardiology. (True)

5. “Zorro” is a Spanish word for “Horse”. (False, it’s Spanish for “Fox”)

6. Donald Duck comics were banned in Finland because he didn’t wear pants. (True)

7. According to the American Film Institute, the #1 movie song of the past 100 years was “Hakuna Matada” (False, it was “Over the Rainbow”)

8. Monty Hall was the name of one of the four Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. (False, the turtles were: Raphael, Donatello, Leonardo, and Michelangelo)

9. John Larroquette, the “Night Court” actor, narrated the 1975 B-rate horror flick “The Texas Chainsaw Massacre”. (True)

10. The Cullinan Diamond is the largest gem-quality diamond ever discovered. (True… found in 1905, the original 3,100 carats were cut to make jewels for the British Crown Jewels and the British Royal family’s collection.)

TABLOID MATCH GAME

You have to match the blank in the tabloid headline with the word or phrase that has been removed!

Boy Tries a Self-_____ with a Machete! (Circumcision)


Yep. It happened in Zimbabwe. The teen was apparently tired of being mocked by friends. He was rushed to the hospital where doctors completed the procedure properly.

THE WAY TOO EARLY IN THE MORNING TO UNDERSTAND THE PUNCHLINE EVEN AFTER TWO CUPS OF COFFEE JOKE OF THE DAY 

JOKE #1

A Chinese scholar was giving a lecture when all the lights in the auditorium went out. He asked members of the audience if they would please raise their hands. As soon as they had all complied, the auditorium lights came on again. The speaker bowed and announced, “Prove wisdom of old Chinese saying: ‘Many hands make light work’.”

JOKE #2

At my grandparent’s 50th wedding anniversary, I was looking through a photo album of their marriage ceremony. “Grandma, so many of these styles have come back over the years,” I commented.

Grandma never hesitated. “That’s why I’ve kept Grandpa all this time,” she said. “I know he’ll be back in style again one of these days.”

JOKE #3

Jack has died. His lawyer is standing before the family and reads Jack’s last will and testament: 

”To my dear wife Esther, I leave the house, 50 acres of land, and one million dollars. To my son Barry, I leave my big Lexus and the Jaguar. To my daughter Suzy, I leave my yacht and $250,000. And to my brother-in-law Jeff, who always insisted that health is better than wealth, I leave my sun lamp.”

USELESS FACTS

A study by MSN.com found that having a wife for 50 years costs the average man $590,400 in restaurant dinners, vacations and gifts.  ***But as a married man who knows his wife is listening to this show… it’s totally worth it.

In a CBS News poll, Americans were twice as likely to view Islam favorably than Scientology. ***Now that’s scary. People would rather deal with Islamic terrorists than deal with Tom Cruise.

FEATURED FUNNIES

GOOD NEW/ BAD NEWS
Sally phoned her husband, Bill, at work for a chat.
“I’m sorry dear,” said Bill, “but I’m up to my neck in work today. I don’t have time to chat.”
Sally replied, “But I’ve got some good news and some bad news for you, dear.”
“OK darling,” said Bill, “but as I’ve got no time right now, just give me the good news.”
“Okay,” agreed Sally. “Well, the air bag works!” (audio clip)

IT MUST BE TRUE BECAUSE I HEARD IT ON THE RADIO!

NO HUGGING

No hugging allowed on the playgrounds of one elementary school in Canada.

…Donna Kormilo, principal of the Gimli Early Middle School in Gimli, Manitoba, said her students have been told to stop the hugging and to reward each other by giving “pats on the back, shaking hands or high-fives.” She says hugging in the hallways is getting out of hand. It seems students were gathering in the morning and at recess and forming “hugging chains” that were causing disruptions. ***MARLAR: Heaven forbid we allow elementary kids to love each other.

INSPIRATIONAL INSPIRATION

OLD MISSIONARY

An old missionary couple had been working in Africa for years and were returning to New York to retire. They had no pension; their health was broken; they were defeated, discouraged, and afraid. They discovered they were booked on the same ship as President Teddy Roosevelt, who was returning from one of his big-game hunting expeditions.

No one paid any attention to them. They watched the fanfare that accompanied the President’s entourage, with passengers trying to catch a glimpse of the great man. As the ship moved across the ocean, the old missionary said to his wife, “Something is wrong.”

“Why should we have given our lives in faithful service for God in Africa all these many years and have no one care a thing about us? Here this man comes back from a hunting trip and everybody makes much over him, but nobody gives two hoots about us.”

“Dear, you shouldn’t feel that way”, his wife said.

He replied “I can’t help it; it doesn’t seem right.”

When the ship docked in New York, a band was waiting to greet the President. The mayor and other dignitaries were there. The papers were full of the President’s arrival. No one noticed this missionary couple. They slipped off the ship and found a cheap flat on the East Side, hoping the next day to see what they could do to make a living in the city.

That night the man’s spirit broke. He said to his wife, “I can’t take this; God is not treating us fairly”.

His wife replied, “Why don’t you go in the bedroom and tell that to the Lord?”

A short time later he came out from the bedroom, but now his face was completely different. His wife asked, “Dear, what happened?”

“The Lord settled it with me”, he said. “I told Him how bitter I was that the President should receive this tremendous homecoming, when no one met us as we returned home. And when I finished, it seemed as though the Lord put His hand on my shoulder and simply said;

“But you’re not home yet.”

DRIVE TIME DEVOTIONAL

CARING PRAYER

Read: Romans 15:30-33

I beg you, . . . strive together with me in prayers to God for me. —Romans 15:30

I recently received an e-mail from someone I didn’t know. It was from a teenager who set a great example we all can learn from. His e-mail showed how much he believed in the power of prayer.

He told about a teenage girl in his hometown who had become pregnant outside of marriage. Her parents were threatening to force her to get an abortion. When the young man heard about it, he got on his computer and sent an e-mail to more than 100 people, telling of the girl’s predicament and saying over and over, “Please pray for this girl.” His compassion for her was evident—as well as his faith in God to answer prayer.

This teenager could have spent time on his computer doing many other things: looking up information about cars, playing video games, sending jokes to his buddies. Instead, he took the time to compile all those e-mail addresses, then he wrote a caring, heartfelt note.

In Romans 15:30-33, the apostle Paul showed that he knew the value of concerted prayer—whether it’s for ourselves or for someone else in need.

What a lesson! It reminds us to cling to the Lord in prayer, and it shows us an example of the compassion that leads us to team up with others in caring prayer. —Dave Branon

As we attempt to live like Christ
In actions, words, and deeds,
We’ll follow His design for prayer
And pray for others’ needs. —Branon

When you can’t be there, you can help through prayer.

LEFTOVERS

BUMP ON THE HEAD

God truly works in mysterious ways… including using a dog to restore a girl’s sight!

…24 year old Lisa Reid lost her sight when she was 14 years old. But, according to the New Zealand Herald, the Auckland native has had her sight restored after a collision with a coffee table! 10 years after being told that she would be permanently blind, Reid knocked her head while bending down to kiss her guide dog Ami good night. When she woke the following morning, she could see. Doctors could offer no explanation for the recovery but said Reid had regained 80 percent sight in her left eye. Unsure if her sight would last, Reid waited a few hours before telephoning her mother and read aloud to her to prove she could see again.  ***MARLAR: So always kiss your dog goodnight!

LIFE… LIVE IT

WAYS YOU KNOW YOU’RE REALLY A MOM
(audio clip)

  • You count the sprinkles on each kid’s cupcake to make sure they’re equal.
  • You hide in the bathroom to be alone.
  • Your child throws up and you catch it.
  • Someone else’s kid throws up at a party and you keep eating.
  • You fast-forward through the scene when the hunter shoots Bambi’s mother.
  • Your child insists that you read “Once Upon a Potty” out loud in the lobby of the doctor’s office, and you do it.
  • You hire a sitter because you haven’t been out with your husband in ages, then spend half the night talking about and checking on the kids.
  • You hope ketchup is a vegetable because it’s the only one your child eats.
  • You can’t bear the thought of your son’s first girlfriend.
  • You hate the thought of his wife even more.
  • You obsess when your child clings to you upon parting during her first month at school, then obsess when she skips in without looking back the second month.
  • You can’t bear to give away baby clothes — it’s so final.
  • You hear your mother’s voice coming out of your mouth when you say, “Not in your good clothes.”
  • You stop criticizing the way your mother raised you.

JUST FOR FUN

CAT-ASTROPHE

Scavenging for food almost killed one little kitty!

Curiosity nearly killed a stray kitty after his head got wedged inside an empty tin can of cat food. Unable to free himself, the frantic feline began hurling himself against a garden fence. He would have knocked himself silly if animal welfare officers hadn’t arrived on the scene. Rescuers captured the cat, nicknamed him Tinny and took him to a veterinarian. They had to use a lubricant to free the cat. ***MARLAR: But both sides of his head had to be shaved and now he looks like something out of Last of the Mohicans or the A-Team. (audio clip)

FUN LIST

REASONS GOD CREATED EVE

  • God worried that Adam would always be lost in the garden because men hate to ask for directions.

  • God knew that Adam would one day need someone to hand him the TV remote.

  • God knew that Adam would never buy a new fig leaf when his seat wore out and would therefore need Eve to get one for him.

  • God knew that Adam would never make a doctor’s appointment for himself.

  • God knew that Adam would never remember which night was garbage night.

  • God knew that if the world was to be populated, men would never be able to handle childbearing.

  • As “Keeper of the Garden,” Adam would never remember where he put his tools.

  • The scripture account of creation indicates Adam needed someone to blame his troubles on when God caught him hiding in the garden.

  • As the Bible says, “It is not good for man to be alone!”

  • And finally . . . When God finished the creation of Adam, He stepped back, scratched His head and said, “I can do better than that.”

MORE SHOW PREP STUFF…

THE GROSSEST WORLD RECORD EVER


Props to Radhakant Bajpai of India. He is the title holder for what has to be one of the grossest world records of all time — Longest Ear Hair! Rad has hairs sprouting from his ears that are an incredible 5.2 inches long! The astonishing length was confirmed for the Guinness Book of Records by doctors. Rad uses a special shampoo and has stopped wearing rings and necklaces so he does not damage his pride and joy. He told reporters, “Making it to Guinness World Records is indeed a special occasion for me and my family. God has been very kind to me.”

OTHER STUFF I WANT TO CRAM INTO TODAY’S PREP

Will God determine who wins the Super Bowl? According to a recent survey by the Public Religion Research Institute and Religion News Service, millions of Americans think He will. A Christian Post report say the PRRI survey found millions of Americans see God’s hand working in sports and believe God rewards athletes of faith. 53 percent of Americans and 56 percent of sports fans say that God rewards athletes who have faith with good health and success.

From eating only grapefruits to ditching carbs, fad diets come and go with the seasons. But according to a US study, quick fix meal plans don’t work with the vast majority of dieters piling all the weight back on. While UK research found that the secret to long-term slimming isn’t cutting out but cutting back on sugary or fatty foods. The University of Pennsylvania’s Centre for Weight and Eating Disorders found that 65 per cent of people who turn to a fad diet will regain the weight within three years – and only five per cent will keep the weight off. Meanwhile a UK-wide study by calorie counting app and website, Nutracheck, revealed that 86 per cent of dieters who have lost enough weight to improve their health did so while continuing to eat chocolate, crisps and other carbohydrates.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-3067396/Could-scoffing-chocolates-wine-carbs-secret-LOSING-weight-Experts-reveal-86-successful-dieters-eat-treats-pounds-off.html

CHURCH MAKES YOUR BRAIN HEALTHIER!

A new study says religion can actually be linked to an increase in your brain’s grey matter. According to a report in Relevant magazine, the study found that people who are more religious were at a lower risk for depression than people who weren’t, and the researchers believe it may be because of how spirituality affects the brain. The research team conducted brain scans on hundreds of patients and found that those who described themselves as religious had thicker outer cortexes of grey matter—an indication of a healthy brain.

Good news!  Sleeping a few extra hours on Saturday and Sunday is not slothful. It’s healthy. Getting too little sleep, which is epidemic in our 24/7 society, is a major contributor to type 2 diabetes. But researchers from the University of Chicago have determined that two consecutive nights of extended sleep, which is a typical weekend occurrence, appears to counteract that increased risk of type 2 diabetes associated with short-term sleep restriction during the work week.

In an attempt to be more environmentally friendly, Adidas is introducing a running shoe made from biodegradable artificial spider silk that will melt away when you’re done with them. Once you’ve worn out your pair (the company recommends two years of use), you can immerse the shoes in water, add a digestion enzyme called proteinase, and let it work for 36 hours. It will cause the protein-based yarn to break down, and you’ll be able to send the liquefied shoes down the sink-all but the foam sole, which you’ll still have to throw away. Adidas says the shoes are 15 percent lighter than comparable running shoes, while remaining strong and durable. They are non-allergenic and vegan. And, if you’re wondering, they will not melt on your feet in the rain because the proteinase enzyme is required for biodegradation.

NASA is now allowing you to view the earth live the International Space Station! Go full screen, sit back, watch & enjoy our home planet. 
http://go.nasa.gov/2jFj2Ls

A Mississippi Christian university that was hit hard by the devastating tornadoes also received several reminders of God’s protection. William Carey University in Hattiesburg suffered extensive damage, but thankfully, no one was killed. There was extensive damage to the Chapel on campus, but the Bible on the pulpit was left undisturbed. It’s opened to Psalm 46: ‘God is our refuge and strength in times of trouble,'”. Also in the middle of the devastation, a campus statue of Jesus also survived, surrounded by debris but untouched by the tornado.
http://bit.ly/2jtuWaj

The Vatican has launched a new YouTube channel so priceless Christian art can reach ‘all corners of the earth’. The Vatican Museums channel and updated website offers high-resolution images of their masterpieces along with mobile-friendly information.
http://bit.ly/2jXUuQp

AND I LEAVE YOU WITH THIS THOUGHT

In the 60’s people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.

THE TICKET Movie Reviews with MARIE ASNER

Marie Asner has been reviewing films for over 35 years. Her outlets include radio, print and Internet. For more in-depth movie reviews of the following films, visit www.Tollbooth.org. Ratings from 1 (Low) to 5 (High).

JANUARY 27, 2017…

Academy Award Nominations are announced this week.

Resident Evil: The Final Chapter—Mila Jovovich comes back as Alice to go against that evil Umbrella Corporation in Raccoon City. Also in the cast are Li Bingbing, Glen Iain and Ever Gabe Anderson. “Resident Evil: The Final Chapter” is rated R. Rating of 2 for fans and you know who you are.

(opening from an earlier date) Julieta—This is a Spanish language film (subtitled) directed by Pedro Almodovar. It concerns a mother’s (Emma Svarez)  search for a missing daughter. Also in the cast are Daniel Grao and Adriana Ugarte. “Julieta” is rated R. No rating.

(opening from an earlier date) Gold—Try, just try to recognize Matthew McConaughey in the role of Kenny Wells who goes to Borneo to find gold. You read that right.  His girlfriend, Bryce Dallas Howard, faithfully follows him.  People will do just about anything to get rich in a hurry.  Also in the cast are Edgar Ramirez and Corey Stoll. “Gold” is rated R. Rating of 2 for fans.

A Dog’s Purpose—Bring hanky.  The film is adapted from the book by W. Bruce Cameron about a dog named Toby, who is reincarnated time after time into certain situations where you can help people. The human cast includes Britt Robertson, Josh Gad and Dennis Quaid. “A Dog’s Purpose” is rated PG 13. Rating of 2.

Bastards—Owen Wilson is searching for his supposedly dead father, who supposedly died a long time ago. What next? Also in the cast are Ed Helms, Glenn Close and J. K. Simmons. “Bastard” is rated R. No rating.

FEBRUARY 3, 2017…

The Space Between Us (opening from an earlier date) concerns the first child born on Mars.

Rings is a sequel to the supernatural film of several years ago and stars Johnny Galecki.

The Comedian has Robert DeNiro on a comeback road but doing community service because of an outburst. This is a comedy/drama. Also stars Leslie Mann.

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