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AND NOW… ON WITH THE SHOW!
PRINTER FRIENDLY VERSION: 20160703
WELCOME TO THE SHOW!
One good thing about the coffee around here: it’s something you can really sink your teeth into.
BIBLE VERSE OF THE DAY
“Lazy hands make a man poor, but diligent hands bring wealth. He who gathers crops in summer is a wise son, but he who sleeps during harvest is a disgraceful son.” –Proverbs 10:4-5
By the grace given me I say to everyone of you: Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgment, in accordance with the measure of faith God has given you. — Romans 12:3
HEARTLIGHT DAILY VERSE, PRAYER & THOUGHT
Who can proclaim the mighty acts of the LORD or fully declare his praise? — Psalm 106:2
Thought: “Almighty!” That’s one of the names for God. He is everything we can imagine that is good, right, and holy. But he is so much more! He is more than we can imagine and so much more than we can declare. Even our greatest moments of praise are great understatements of his glory.
Prayer: El Shaddai, the One True and Almighty God, you are worthy of all glory, honor, and praise! Thank you for hearing my feeble attempts at praise and being pleased and blessed with my love and my effort. You are too marvelous for my words and beyond my mind’s comprehension. I gladly rest my hope and my future in you! In Jesus’ name I praise. Amen.
“BIRTHDAY VERSE” OF THE DAY
The chapter and verse corresponds to the month and the day!
2 Chronicles 7:3 NIV = …and they worshiped and gave thanks to the LORD, saying, “He is good; his love endures forever.”
TODAY IS SUNDAY – JULY 03, 2016
(NOTE: Some holidays may be duplicated due to various calendars reporting conflicting dates)
WEIRD, WACKY, STRANGE, ZANY, ODD, BIZARRE, QUIRKY, UNUSUAL HOLIDAYS!
THERE ARE ONLY 174 SHOPPING DAYS UNTIL CHRISTMAS.
Today is COMPLIMENT YOUR MIRROR DAY. ***MARLAR: Never mind that it’s never complimentary to me.
Today is STAY OUT OF THE SUN DAY, for the sake of your health. ***MARLAR: It’s just a temporary thing though, because you know you’ll be back out in the sun tomorrow playing with explosives.
DOG DAYS begin today. Traditionally, the hottest 40 days of the year, blamed by our ancient ancestors on Sirius, the Dog Star. ***MARLAR: They used to think Sirius was a god and actually sacrificed dogs to it, hence the name. You could do that today, but the SPCA might get a bit upset… but you can always use your grill and sacrifice a hot dog.
AIR CONDITIONING APPRECIATION DAYS begin today. ***MARLAR: If our ancestors had air conditioning they wouldn’t have worshipped Sirius the Dog Star. They would’ve worshiped the god, Freon.
And a heads up about tomorrow; tomorrow is INDEPENDENCE FROM MEAT DAY, sponsored by the Vegetarian Awareness Network in Knoxville, Tennessee. ***MARLAR: Proving that you’ll always have to deal with a few duds on Independence Day.
TODAY IS ALSO. . .
Stay Out Of The Sun Day
COMING UP NEXT
MONDAY, JULY 04
Boom Box Parade Day
Earth At Aphelion
Independence Day (USA)
Independence From Meat Day
TUESDAY, JULY 05
WEDNESDAY, JULY 06
International Kissing Day (World Kiss Day)
Take Your Webmaster to Lunch Day
THURSDAY JULY 07
Father-Daughter Take a Walk Together Day
Tell The Truth Day
FRIDAY, JULY 08
Math 2.0 Day
SCUD Day (Savor the Comic, Unplug the Drama)
SATURDAY, JULY 09
Bald Is In
Martyrdom of the Bab
SUNDAY, JULY 10
Don’t Step On a Bee Day
MONDAY, JULY 11
Cheer Up The Lonely Day
Day of The Five Billion
International Town Criers Day
TUESDAY, JULY 12
ON THIS DAY
1819: The first savings bank in the US, the Bank of Savings in New York City, opened its doors. *** And was robbed three times before closing.
1871: The Jesse James gang robbed the bank at Corydon, Iowa, and escaped with $45-thousand.
1922: Fruit Garden and Home magazine published its first issue. Two years later, the publication became Better Homes and Gardens.
1940: The legendary comedy team of Bud Abbott and Lou Costello debuted on NBC Radio, replacing Fred Allen for the summer. (
1965: Roy Rogers’ horse Trigger died at age 33. Roy had the horse stuffed and displayed at the Double-R-Bar ranch in Apple Valley, California.
1966: Tony Cloninger had a good day. His Braves beat the Giants in Candlestick Park 17 to 3, and Cloninger not only was the winning pitcher, he also hit two grand slam homers and drove in a 9th run with a single.
1970: Some 200,000 heard Jimi Hendrix play “The Star Spangled Banner” as the 3-day Atlanta Pop Festival opened in Byron, Georgia. Two days later Governor Lester Maddox said he would seek legislation to ban rock festivals in Georgia.
1974: The city of Catania, Sicily, banned the table soccer game “Flipper” because it diverted the young from their studies.
1978: The Supreme Court ruled that the FCC had a right to reprimand New York radio station WBAI for broadcasting George Carlin’s “Seven Dirty Words.” ***Yeah, but the ratings for the station were awesome that quarter, so it was totally worth it!
1986: President Ronald Reagan re-lit the Statue of Liberty’s torch in New York Harbor. A $66 million restoration of the statue was completed 100 year after its dedication.
1989: Actor Jim Backus died at age 76. He was the voice of Mr. Magoo and played the millionaire Thurston Howell on Gilligan’s Island. (
1992: Three performing dolphins escaped from their pen in Key Largo, Florida and showed up several days later in a golf course lagoon in Key Biscayne. They performed for golfers voluntarily at 10:00 a.m., 2:00 p.m., and 4:00 p.m., apparently hoping to be fed.
1994: Actor Liam Neeson and actress Natasha Richardson were married.
1996: Animal activists condemned a bar in Wellington, New Zealand, for encouraging customers to use frozen chickens as bowling balls.
2004: The UN brought together experts from 60 countries in Geneva to discuss standards for classification and safe storage of fireworks.
2004: Maria Sharapova won her first Grand Slam title by beating Serena Williams 6-1, 6-4 at Wimbledon.
2005: Water temperatures in the lower Great Lakes were reported at a 5-year high.
2010: A lock of Napoleon Bonaparte’s hair had sold at auction for more than $13,000. *** Later in the day a lock of Napoleon Dynamite’s hair went for a buck eighty.
TODAY IN CHRISTIAN HISTORY
529: The Synod of Orange convenes in southern France. Led by a forceful Augustinian, Caesarius of Arles, the synod upheld Augustine’s doctrines of grace and free will while condemning the views of Semi-Pelagians (including John Cassian and Faustus of Riez), who believed the human will and God’s grace work together.
1973: SEC (Securities and Exchange Commission) files charges against Falwell’s Thomas Road Baptist Church, claiming financial hanky-panky. The church argues that the attack is the effort of over zealous prosecutors, and eventually wins in court.
1977: Death of Thomas R. MacLeod, missionary to the Umiray Dumaget tribe of Luzon, Philippines. Tom was only 49. He had spent sixteen years learning the language and translating the New Testament. Four days before he began his medical furlough, he was able to distribute the New Testament in Umiray Dumaget. Once he and his wife saved precious manuscripts during a typhoon by sealing them in cookie jars.
HOLLYWOOD, SPORTS AND CELEBRITY FIGURE BIRTHDAYS
- actor (Risky Business, Mission Impossible, Minority Report) Tom Cruise 54
- actress (“The Bold And The Beautiful”) Hunter Tylo 54 (
- TV talker Montel Williams 60
- Actress (“WKRP in Cincinnati”) Jan Smithers 67 ***She was the female that wasn’t Lonnie Anderson.
- actress (The Happening, Wyatt Earp, “Eight Is Enough”) Betty Buckley 69 (
- humorist Dave Barry 69
- Actor (RoboCop, “That 70’s Show”) Kurtwood Smith 73
(Music Artist Birthdays From SongFacts.com)
1854 : Leoš Janáček
1929 : David Lynch (The Platters)
1940 : Fontella Bass
1943 : Judith Durham (The Seekers)
1947 : Betty Buckley
1951 : John Waite (The Babys, Bad English)
1955 : Mike Corby (The Babys)
1956 : Stephen Pearcy (Ratt)
1960 : Vince Clarke (Erasure)
1969 : Kevin Hearn (Barenaked Ladies)
1976 : Shane Lynch (Boyzone)
SECRETS OF THE UNIVERSE
Why do we say that a well-intentioned person has his or her heart in the right place?
Having your heart in the right place has its roots in genuine anatomical ignorance. In Europe’s “Dark Ages,” among the uneducated, which meant most people, the classical world’s knowledge of anatomy was largely lost. Oh, they knew where one’s heart should be. But they also thought the organ could wander around, a notion promoted by the behavior of various body parts when influenced by strong emotion. For example, if you were under stress and you swallowed hard, “your heart was in your mouth.” Therefore a heart in the right place meant there was no unusual body activity betraying wayward thoughts or nervousness. You were together, and your intentions could be trusted. Boy, were they ignorant. I would never be so silly. My head is screwed on right.
Source: WHY YOU SAY IT by Webb Garrison
CHRISTIAN ARTIST NEWS
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Casting Crowns Jaun Devevo may have come up with the next big thing. He says he recently retrofitted his Harmonica holder for his iPhone so he can watch all the snapchats and his arms won’t fall asleep. Up next, a Kickstarter to fund mass production.
Jamie Grace recently spent part of her day with a family who is going through a tough time right now. She says life is scary, hard and flat out unfair. Our emotions are realistic yet His peace continues to prevail. In response, Jamie released a cover of the song Don’t Worry, Be Happy. http://ow.ly/Yt5k301FGcq
Jamie Grace says one of her dreams is to someday do a TED Talk.
Kutless member James Meads favorite food group? He says it’s burritos.
Question of the day from We Are Worship: Worship leaders be honest-how many cups of coffee do you consume on a normal Sunday morning?
Exodus 14:14 holds a special place in the life of Josh Wilson. He explained: This was one of my favorite verses during my season of severe anxiety attacks. The verse says: The LORD will fight for you; you need only to be still.” http://twitter.com/joshwilson/status/745991729967435776/photo/1
A confession from Blanca; she posted recently: Oh bacon… How I love thee!!
Kutless member James Mead was standing up for soccer players this week. After one of his friends posted: “soccer players are made of glass,” and “so weak,” James replied: I agree…flopping has gotten ridiculous, BUT the guys who are at the peak of the sport are definitely not weak. To back up his story, he shared a true story from his High School soccer career. He said: this reminds me of when the football team at my high school called us weak and their coach made them practice with us and they all threw up. James said: Then they all made a formal apology and limped away.
A couple of weeks ago Jonny Diaz asked his followers on social media: If I am just getting soda water (and putting lime in it) should I pay for a drink, or just use the free water cup? Now he is out with the results of his informal poll. 57% told Jonny “Don’t Pay” while 43% said “Pay”.
Lauren Daigle’s vote for the best pizza on earth is The San Gennaro from Antico Pizza. In fact, Lauren say she likes it better than pizza made in Italy. Lauren posted as she stopped at the restaurant on her drive back to Nashville. She said she was all alone so ate the entire pizza by herself. She likes it that much.
(No news on the weekends.)
NEW NEWS KICKERS…
RETURNS JULY 05
NEWS KICKER EVERGREENS…
What You DON’T Know CAN Hurt You This Summer When it Comes To Choosing Sunscreen. Many of the sunscreens tested do not provide the protection promised on the label. In fact, a consumer report recently found that only two of 20 sunscreens tested actually met their promised protection level. ***MARLAR: So do what I do – avoid OUTSIDE.
CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD TODAY’S EPISODE… “Heads Up”
DAILY COMEDY CLIP
CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD TODAY’S EPISODE… Michelle Krajecki, “Unmedicated Silent Birth”
AS THE JUNGLE TURNS – WEEKDAY VERSION
CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD MONDAY/TUESDAY EPISODE
OPEN: And now, FancyMonkey.com, (Show Name), and (Station Call Letters) bring you As the Jungle Turns! Last time, all of the jungle animals were headed out for the best and biggest picnic they’d ever had. But Gruffy Bear insisted that they not have the picnic until they found the perfect picnic spot. They’ve already found a really nice spot – but it’s not good enough for Gruffy.
CLOSE: That sure sounded like the perfect picnic spot. What better place could they find? Tune in next time, As the Jungle Turns!
AS THE JUNGLE TURNS – SATURDAY/SUNDAY VERSION
CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD THE EPISODE FOR THE WEEKEND OF JULY 02/03
OPEN: And now, FancyMonkey.com, (Show Name), and (Station Call Letters) bring you As the Jungle Turns! When last we left our story, Marvy Snuffleson had been sent to his room by his parents because he’d been mean to the new kid in the neighborhood and refused to play with him – mostly because it wasn’t cool. But now the thunderstorm has tossed Marvy, his teddy-bear, and his entire bed out the bedroom window and onto the high seas!
CLOSE: What kind of place is this that Marvy has washed ashore upon? And who are the furry, tall creatures? Find out next time – As the Jungle Turns!
***You may simulcast “As the Jungle Turns” on the Internet stream of your live broadcast only. Any other Internet use of “As the Jungle Turns” in whole or part including podcasting of your live broadcast is a violation of copyright law. Thank you for your cooperation on this vitally important issue. If you have any questions, please e-mail us and ask about “Jungle Jam & Friends the Radio Show” usage.
MOMENT OF DUH
Complaining about loud music ends up as a Moment of Duh for one woman!
Elsie Weiss of Mulheim, Germany, whose neighbors continually complain about her habit of blasting loud music from her garden complained to police one night that she couldn’t sleep because someone was blasting loud music, only to be told by investigating police that the disturbance was coming from her own radio which she left turned on in the garden. According to one neighbor, “She always plays her music really loud. For once, she gave herself a taste of her own medicine.”
TOP TEN OFTEN OVERLOOKED WAYS TO BEAT THE SUMMER HEAT
- Move to Antarctica
- Ice Cream Diving
- Waterproof laptop, scuba gear, deep end of the pool . . . perfect!
- Hire a team of moles to dig a series of tunnels for you to travel in.
- Live in the Northern Hemisphere from October to March, and the Southern Hemisphere from April to September.
- Drive through the automated car wash in your convertible.
- Put shorts in water, place in freezer overnight, wear the next day.
- Become manager of a supermarket and move your office to the walk-in freezer.
- Go for a very fast run through the local park’s sprinklers.
- Become a penguin breeder.
THE FILES OF LAW & DISORDER
When your car is stolen, you call the police. But what do you do if someone steals the keys to your getaway car?
FILE #1: When two Danish burglars realized someone had stolen the keys to their getaway car, they reacted like honest citizens and called the police. Police arrested them after they confessed to breaking and entering. The men broke into a summer cabin and were confronted by a passer-by, who witnessed the break-in. To ensure they couldn’t get away, the passer-by took the keys from their car, and refused to return them. They then realized that without their keys, they would have to leave their car at the scene, which would put the police on their trail and lead to their arrest anyway. So it was a no-win situation.
FILE #2: It didn’t take the C-S-I team to crack this case. Police in Cincinnati charge Nathan McFarland left plenty of clues behind when he robbed a K-F-C — his wallet. Officers say the dropped billfold had McFarland’s photo I-D, Social Security card and his birth certificate. McFarland’s now been charged with three counts of armed robbery.
FILE #3: In New York a suspected thief was arrested after hailing a taxi being driven by an undercover policeman. The man and his accomplice are alleged to have broken into an apartment and stolen jewelry, electrical goods and a bike. They then hailed the passing taxi to make their escape. When the driver, a member of the NYPD, started asking questions, they tried to run but were stopped almost immediately.
STRANGE LAW: Elephants may not be used to plow cotton fields in North Carolina.
THIS IS YOUR BRAIN ON DRUGS
Drugs really do kill off brain cells, because after hearing about this story I can’t think of any other explanation.
Duron Frank of Pennsylvania was brought into court recently on drug possession charges. While he was in the courthouse, Duron was approached by a couple of police officers who were there to serve him with a warrant in a completely different case. When he saw the officers, Duron became very nervous and blurted out that he had drugs on his person. Sure enough, the officers checked him and he indeed was carrying two grams of crack cocaine and some marijuana… right there in the middle of the courthouse… on the very same day he was scheduled to go before a judge on drug possession charges! Personally, I think whatever additional time he’s been given, probably still isn’t enough.
Tomorrow there will be picnics all over the United States. What must you absolutely have at a picnic in order for it to be the perfect picnic for you?
BIBLE BRAIN BUSTER!
QUESTION: What was the name of the man who slept in the land of Nod?
ANSWER: Cain (Genesis 4:16)
QUESTION: What do the colors of the American flag stand for?
ANSWER: There is no official designation or meaning for the colors of the flag. There is no record stating why red, white, and blue where chosen for the flag. However, when the Great Seal of the United States was chosen this is what was listed for them: white for purity and innocence, red for valor and hardiness blue for vigilance, perseverance, and justice.
TRUE OR FALSE
Pay attention! If our next player doesn’t answer all ten T/F questions correctly we start all over from question #1! First person to answer question #10 correctly is our winner!
- The Weddell seal can travel underwater for seventeen miles without surfacing for air. (False – seven miles)
- Actor Tommy Lee Jones and vice-president Al Gore were freshmen roommates at Harvard. (True)
- Albert Einstein was offered the presidency of Russia iin 1952. (False – Israel)
- The Pilgrims refused to eat lobsters because they believed they were really big insects. (True)
- A person uses more household energy shaving with a hand razor at a sink than using an electric razor. (True – because of the water power, the water pump and so on)
- There are only thirteen blimps in the world. Nine of the which are in the United Kingdom. (False – the United States)
- The YKK on the zipper of your Levis stands for Yoshida Kogyo Kabushibibaisha, the worlds largest zipper manufacturer. (True)
- You use an average of 43 muscles for a frown. (True)
- You use an average of 170 muscles for a smile. (False – only 17 muscles)
- Approximately three jars of peanut butter are sold every second. (True)
TABLOID MATCH GAME
You have to match the blank in the tabloid headline with the word or phrase that has been removed!
“MEGAN FOX IS A _____!” (MAN)
In 2009 Megan Fox jokingly remarked that she looked like a man. When interviewed on the red carpet of the 2009 Golden Globe Awards, she said “I look like Alan Alda in drag… I’m a man.” At the time, reporters passed it off as a jovial attempt to cover for her nerves. However, today she has cleared the air and officially reported: she’s really a man. Megan Fox was born Mitchell Reed Fox in Rockwood, Tennessee. From an early age, Mitchell showed an interest in both performing and women’s clothing. When having a preacher lay hands on him did not ‘cure’ him of these interests, his parents simply put him on the pageant circuit. By the age of 13, Mitchell had already started a career as a female child performer called ‘Megan Fox’. Making her debut on an Olsen Twins straight-to-video release, the twins have kept his secret all this time.
THE WAY TOO EARLY IN THE MORNING TO UNDERSTAND THE PUNCHLINE EVEN AFTER TWO CUPS OF COFFEE JOKE OF THE DAY
John went to a psychiatrist: “I’ve got problems. Every time I go to bed, I think there’s somebody under it. I’m scared. I think I’m going crazy.”
“Just put yourself in my hands for one year,” said the shrink. “Come talk to me three times a week, and we should be able to get rid of those fears.”
“How much do you charge?” John asked warily.
“Each visit is $150,” replied the doctor.
“Well, I’ll sleep on it.”
Six months later the doctor bumped into John on the street: “Why didn’t you ever come to see me about those fears you were having?”
“Well, one hundred and fifty bucks a visit three times a week for a year is an awful lot of money! A friend at work cured me for nothing. I was so happy to have saved all that money that I went and bought myself a new pickup!”
“Is that so?! And how, may I ask, did your friend cure you?”
“Well, you know how I was scared of somebody being under my bed?”
“Yes,” answered the psychiatrist.
“Well, he told me to cut the legs off the bed!”
A Catholic priest, a Jewish rabbi, and a Baptist minister go fishing. They’re out on the water for awhile when the priest says, “Are you guys getting thirsty?”
The others say yes, so he says he’ll go get the drinks. He stands up on the boat, says some prayers in Latin, and walks across the water and back with the drinks.
About an hour later, the rabbi says, “Are you guys getting hungry?”
The others say yes, so he says he’ll go get the sandwiches. He stands up on the boat, says some prayers in Hebrew, and walks across the water and back with the food.
It starts to get hot in the midday sun, and the priest and the rabbi say they could really use some more drinks.
They start to stand up, but the minister says, “I got it this time.”
He stands up on the boat, gives a sermon about fire and brimstone, steps onto the water, and sinks to the bottom. He gets up and tries again, three more times, and every time he sinks to the bottom.
After the fourth try, the priest says to the rabbi, “Do you think we should tell him where the rocks are?”
My friend’s husband is always telling her that housekeeping would be a snap if only she would organize her time better.
Recently he had a chance to put his theory into practice while his wife was away. When I popped in one evening to see how he was managing, he crowed, “I made a cake, frosted it, washed the kitchen windows, cleaned all the cupboards, scrubbed the kitchen floor, walls and ceiling and even had a bath.”
I was about to concede that perhaps he was a better manager than his wife, when he added sheepishly, “When I was making the chocolate frosting, I forgot to turn off the mixer before taking the beaters out of the bowl, so I had to do all the rest.”
A Ukrainian woman has been arrested after trying to smuggle two bears on board a plane by claiming they were dogs. ***MARLAR: She claimed she was simply packing the bear necessities. (
A counterfeiter from Colombia, who printed 42 million dollars in fake U.S. currency, has been sentenced to five years in prison. ***MARLAR: It would’ve been less, but it was discovered that he paid his bail using $3 bills.
During a museum tour the guide explains, “Here you can see the beautiful statue of Athena…”.
“Excuse me, madam,” a visitor interjects. “Who is that man behind her? Is he her husband?”
“No, Athena wasn’t married: She was the goddess of wisdom.”
IT MUST BE TRUE BECAUSE I HEARD IT ON THE RADIO!
A group of Swiss Evangelical Christians is building a giant Bible theme park in Germany…
…Their website says they want to transmit the story and message of the Bible in “an active and exciting way.” Genesis Park will be the size of 70 soccer fields and the centerpiece will be an “original size” Noah’s Ark replica, 490 feet long and surrounded by water. There will also be 39 other Bible-related attractions, including roller coasters on the themes of the Great Flood and Heaven and Hell, an Old Testament-era desert tent, a Tower of Babel panorama restaurant, and a mock-up of Jerusalem in the time of Jesus, which will double as the main shopping mall. ***MARLAR: The stores will sell gold, frankincense and Gucci.
TO ANY SERVICE MEMBER
by Nick Hill
During the Persian Gulf War, I was stationed aboard the naval amphibious ship USS Nassau. As a senior Marine intelligence analyst, my workdays were routinely twelve to sixteen hours long. Like all the veterans, we looked forward to receiving mail from home.
Unlike the Vietnam War, the Gulf War found support among most Americans. As a result, we soldiers received an enormous amount of “To any service member” mail from the States. I never took any of those letters, since I wrote to my wife and two children on a daily basis, as well as occasionally writing notes to my daughter’s classroom, and I didn’t feel I had time to write to anyone else.
After five or six months of hearing the mail orderly – announcing the availability of “To any service member” mail, I decided to take a few of the letters. I planned, as time permitted, to drop them a line telling them “Thanks” for their support.
I picked up three letters, and placed them in my cargo pocket and proceeded back to work. Over the next week or so, I started responding to the letters. When it came time to answer the third letter, I noticed it had no return address, but a Colorado postmark, which made me think of home. I had missed spending Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Year’s with my family, and I was really lonesome for them.
I opened the card and started to read the letter enclosed. About the third or fourth sentence down, it read, “My daddy is a Marine over there, if you see him tell him hi and I love and miss him.” This statement really touched me and made me miss my family even more. I looked down to the signature—and sat in stunned silence as tears filled my eyes.
My own daughter Chris had signed the letter.
DRIVE TIME DEVOTIONAL
WHO KNOWS BEST?
READ: 2 Chronicles 36:15-21
They mocked the messengers of God, despised His words, and scoffed at His prophets. —2 Chronicles 36:16
“I love my job,” said Maggie, a young nurse, “but it’s so frustrating when I tell people what they need to do to stay healthy and they don’t follow my advice.”
I smiled in empathy. “I felt that way when I started my editorial career,” I told her. “It was frustrating when authors would disregard the advice I gave them about improving their manuscripts.”
Then I realized the spiritual implication. “If you and I feel frustrated when people don’t follow our professional advice,” I said, “imagine how God feels when we ignore His.” He’s the only One with perfect knowledge of what’s good for us, yet we often behave as if we know better.
This was the case in ancient Israel. Thinking that they knew more than God did, the people followed their own way (2 Chronicles 36:15-16). As a result, Jerusalem and the house of God fell into the hands of the Babylonians.
This is also the case with us when God’s instructions seem difficult. We may conclude that He had exceptions in mind for our particular circumstance.
God graciously teaches what is best (Isaiah 48:17-18) but doesn’t force us to do it. He patiently presents what is right and good, and allows us to choose it. —Julie Ackerman Link
What freedom lies with all who choose
To live for God each day!
But chains of bondage shackle those
Who choose some other way. —D. De Haan
God’s teaching may not always make sense, but it’s always senseless to think we know better.
KICKING THE HABIT?
Smokers will soon have a new weapon in their battle to quit. Doctors are testing a so-called vaccine against the nicotine rush that causes the addiction to cigarettes…
The drug keeps nicotine from reaching the brain, making smoking less pleasurable and easier to give up. Pfizer’s Chantix is already on the market. Another, called Acomplia, recently won approval in Europe as a weight-loss drug. If U.S. regulators follow suit, some doctors say they also will use it to help smokers quit, especially those concerned about gaining weight. There are still other drugs on the way that will work in the same fashion and the Food and Drug Administration has given them the fast-track status, meaning they will get prompt review. Of the more than 48 million smokers in the United States, 40 percent each year make a serious attempt to quit, but fewer than 5 percent succeed long-term.
LIFE… LIVE IT
TEN BIGGEST MISTAKES MADE BY TRAVELERS
Although traveling is meant to be one of life’s greatest pleasures, logistics, mishaps, and pure dumb luck can make the experience practically intolerable. Luckily, the members of VirtualTourist.com not only have great hotel reviews but great advice about ways to avoid calamity. Giampiero Ambrosi, General Manager of VirtualTourist, has compiled a checklist to help you avoid some very common blunders.
- Overpacking. If you have to sit on the suitcase to zip it up, you’ve packed too much.
- Not anticipating passport expiration. Double-check the expiration date to be sure it won’t expire while you’re on vacation!
- Leaving too little time between flight connections. Best to leave two hours.
- Forgetting time differences. Some countries count time from one to 12 while others count from one to 24.
- Not renewing prescription medication. Getting refills in some countries can be a nightmare.
- Neglecting to confirm hotel reservations. Always to confirm and, if possible, get something in writing.
- Not bringing an adaptor. Make sure to bring the appropriate adaptor.
- Not checking to see if your ATM card works in other countries. Check with your bank and keep in mind that different countries often require shorter or longer PIN numbers.
- Leaving valuables in a hotel safe. When you come back to the hotel each night, make it a habit to leave your key on the safe so when you’re ready for a final departure you’ll be reminded to have one last look.
- Not learning how to say “help” in another language. Learn words like “help” and “fire,” and make sure you know the local equivalent of 911.
JUST FOR FUN
HOUSE FOR SALE?
A classified advertisement that ran in the St. Louis Post-Dispatch offered what seemed like a great deal on a house in a wealthy St. Louis suburban neighborhood. The ad read: “For sale by owner: 1201 South Warson Road. Open house May 24. Lavish two-story residence, all brick, renovated bathroom, theater/entertainment room, finished basement, intercom system, tennis court and indoor pool. $550,000/offer.” The great deal turned out to be a high school senior’s prank. The house up for sale was Ladue Horton Watkins High School. And the open house date was the last day of classes for seniors. Brad Heger, assistant principal at the school, found out about the ad when he was bombarded with at least a dozen calls from prospective buyers. Heger took the prank in stride, saying he wouldn’t punish the student responsible for the ad and said it was one of the better senior pranks he has seen. His only problem with the ad was that the “house” seemed way under-priced.
Planning on camping this summer? You might want to get a pencil and paper to take notes then – we have some helpful camping tips for you.
- You can compress the diameter of your rolled up sleeping bag by running over it with your car.
- Take this simple test to see if you qualify for solo camping. Shine a flashlight into one ear. If the beam shines out the other ear, do not go into the woods alone.
- A two-man pup tent does not include two men or a pup.
- A potato baked in the coals for one hour makes an excellent side dish. A potato baked in the coals for three hours makes an excellent paperweight.
- The guitar of the noisy teenager at the next campsite makes excellent kindling.
- A large carp can be used as a pillow.
- It’s entirely possible to spend your whole vacation on a winding mountain road behind a large motor home. Try not to let this happen to you.
- Effective January 1, you will actually have to enlist in the Swiss Army to get a Swiss Army Knife.
- Bear bells provide an element of safety for hikers in grizzly country. The tricky part is getting them on the bears.
MORE SHOW PREP STUFF…
CLOTHES WASHING TIPS
(Shine.Yahoo.com) Let’s face it—keeping up with a household full of dirty laundry is no simple task. Moms are expected to battle the toughest stains, organize clothing, and prevent socks from disappearing. What’s a busy mom to do? We asked real moms to share their tricks of the trade. Find out what works and what doesn’t with these 7 simple laundry tips.
PLAN YOUR LAUNDRY SCHEDULE: It’s easy to throw a load in the washing machine, but it’s much more time consuming to fold, hang, and put away your clean garments. This results in piles of clean clothes sitting in baskets and getting wrinkled, or mixed with dirty clothes. Renee Kutner, mom of three small children, offers this scheduling suggestion, “Throw in a load every day that you have time, but don’t bother if you’re too busy to see it through—it will end up costing you more time than it saves.”
BATTLE GREASY STAINS: Looking for a fast remedy for treating greasy stains? Lynnette Harris, a mother of three, offers this quick fix, “Dishwashing detergent is great for spot treating greasy stains. Treat them as soon as you can, and check to see if they washed out before tossing them in the dryer. Sometimes clothes just need to be treated and washed again.”
GET ORGANIZED: What’s the best way to organize laundry? Kutner recommends sorting at the source. “Get your family involved in sorting the laundry. Buy laundry baskets with sections for whites and colors and have your children sort their clothes as they undress. Then all you have to do is grab the organized piles and throw them in the washer.”
SEPARATE SMALLER ITEMS: They may be small, but baby socks can complicate laundry since they’re so easy to lose. Mom, Brandi Koskie, has an easy solution, “To avoid losing my daughter’s tiny baby socks, I put them in a mesh lingerie bag hanging in the closet. Then, I toss the bag in the washer and dryer and never lose her socks!”
ID YOUR KID’S CLOTHING: If you have children close in age, you’re probably used to spending tons of time sorting and identifying clothes. Save time and sanity by marking clothing. “Put a dot on the tag to help you identify each piece of clothing, starting with one dot for your firstborn, and so on,” suggests Kutner.
REUNITE LOST SOCKS: Socks are notorious for disappearing into the mysterious black hole. Bridges Conner, mom of two active boys, offers this handy tip for reuniting lost socks, “Always keep a small basket available for all of those extra socks that appear without a mate. Eventually, the mate will appear and you can make a reunion. If not, toss them!”
PACK IT UP: It’s all about multitasking! Jennifer Bright Reich, mom of two boys under the age of 6, recommends prepping your kid’s outfits as you do laundry. “When I do my sons’ laundry, I fold them into clothes packs consisting of a shirt, a pair of pants (or shorts), underwear, and a pair of socks. Each day, they simply go to the closet and pick out a clothes pack for the day.”
TOP TEN LAUNDRY BLUNDERS…
SHRINKAGE: Setting the washer too hot or leaving your favorite sweater in the dryer too long can result in shrinkage. To restore it closer to its original size, add three tablespoons of hair conditioner to a bucket of room temperature water. Soak the sweater for about five minutes before gently stretching the fibers and reshaping. Lay it on a towel to dry.
FORGETTING CLOTHES IN THE DRYER: This is one of the most common laundry mistakes. If you neglect your clothes in the dryer for too long, they’ll most likely be too wrinkled to wear. For a quick fix, put the load back in the dryer with a damp towel.
NOT READING DIRECTIONS: Always read the directions on your laundry products and on the clothing you’re treating. Neglecting to do so can result in shrunken, faded, or damaged garments.
LOSING SOCKS: Socks have a way of disappearing into the mysterious black hole of your dryer. Protect them by loading socks in mesh bags. If you do find orphans, keep a basket in the laundry room to store them in until you locate their mate.
USING TOO MUCH DETERGENT: Most Americans pour way too much laundry detergent into their washing machines, resulting in dingy clothing and worn out machines. Be sure to read the directions on the detergent so you know how much to use for your particular machine. High efficiency machines tend to use less detergent than standard machines.
SORTING ERRORS: Poor sorting can turn your nautical-striped shirt into a tie-dyed nightmare. Purchase three laundry baskets to help you properly separate your darks, whites, and colors before loading them into the washer.
FORGETTING TO EMPTY POCKETS AND CLOSE ZIPPERS: Be sure to check pockets for lipsticks, tissues, and coins while you sort. Also, remember to close zippers and hooks to prevent snagging.
OVERSTUFFING MACHINES: We know what you’re thinking, “Just one more pair of jeans and I’ll start this load!” Don’t do it! Overstuffing washing machines can actually result in dirtier clothes, or even a broken washer.
FORGETTING STAIN REMOVER: Once a stain feels the heat of the dryer, it’s set, and much harder to remove. Opt for a stain stick or stain remover spray to pretreat, or use an in-wash stain remover to catch the stains you miss.
MILDEW SMELLS: You started a load of laundry before running some errands only to return home to a nasty, sour smell. Oops! Your clothes were left in the washer too long. To remove the odor, re-wash the clothes with a dose of bleach for whites, or color safe bleach for colors.
OTHER STUFF I WANT TO CRAM INTO TODAY’S PREP
If you feel called to be a pastor but are having difficulty finding a position in a church – maybe you need to move to England! The Church of England is facing an ageing clergy crisis as retirements exceed ordinations. One in four clergy in the Church of England is aged over 60 and just 13 per cent are under 40. The ministry statistics show a potential future crisis for the Church. Although numbers being ordained have increased in the last four years, they are still too low to replace the large numbers of retiring baby-boomer clergy. http://bit.ly/1Wy3VDr
A pastor in Malawi has had to give up his ministry because being an albino has made him fear for his life. According to Christian Today, Clement Dayile, a pastor at Christ Citadel Church in Malawi, told the Nyasa Times he had had to abandon his congregation until he felt more secure. Albinism, a condition in which people lack pigment in their skin, hair and eyes, is seen as a stigma in Malawi and other African countries. Children with the condition are vulnerable to abduction and murder, with their body parts being used in witchcraft rituals, and there have been cases of adults being murdered. Dayile said “The situation is not conducive for me to be going out to preach. I don’t even go out on longer distances, in fear I will be the next victim.” http://bit.ly/1Ux7qq2
We all want to divorce-proof our marriages – but how do we do it? Charisma News has some suggestions. Make God the Center of Your Marriage. Die to Self. Communicate in Love With Truth and Grace. Connect with Community. Be Open About Your Sin. Read each suggestion more in-depth at http://bit.ly/1Z06YSr.
Pew and Barna agree: the U.S. is becoming less Christian. According to a Mission Network News report, the latest Pew research results show the percentage of people who identified themselves as Christians fell roughly 8% in the last seven years. During the same time period, the “none” category — people who have no religious affiliation — rose by nearly 7%. Biblica CEO Carl Moeller blames the trend on the amount of biblical absorption going on in these different groups. He says North Americans have become addicted to a superficial Christianity. The solution? Moller says it is Meeting Christ and introducing others to Him. https://t.co/AQ6JUDYALF
Need something to do when the kids are bored. How about 101 somethings. The web site care.com is out with the list of more than 100 boredom busters for hooking — and holding — your kids’ attention Some of their ideas include:
- Plant a tree.
- Bake cookies for the neighbors — or your family.
- Explore nature and go geocaching.
- Act out your child’s favorite book.
- Make lanyard key chains.
Check out the other 96 ideas here: https://www.care.com/a/101-things-to-do-when-kids-say-im-bored-1402111432
AND I LEAVE YOU WITH THIS THOUGHT
“A good wife always forgives her husband when she’s wrong.” –Milton Berle
THE TICKET Movie Reviews with MARIE ASNER
Marie Asner has been reviewing films for over 30 years. Her outlets include radio, print and Internet. For more in-depth movie reviews of the following films, visit www.Tollbooth.org. Ratings from 1 (Low) to 5 (High).
JULY 01, 2016…
The Purge: Election Year—How apropos for this film to open now, in Election Year. This storyline concerns guarding a woman presidential candidate who wants to stop the Purges. Does anyone else? We will see. The cast includes Frank Grillo, Elizabeth Mitchell and Kyle Secur. “The Purge: Election Year” is rated R. No rating.
Our Kind Of Traitor—Ewan McGregor gets caught up in international trouble when a friend (and who needs friends like this) gets him into hot water. Also in the cast is Naomie Harris. The plot comes from the John le Carre novel. “Our Kind Of Traitor” is rated R. No rating.
The Legend Of Tarzan—Somewhere, Edgar Rice Burroughs is paying attention. His creation of Tarzan, The Ape Man, is back on the big screen with Alexander Skarsgard in the lead role, and plenty of special effects to boot. Margot Robbie is Jane, and the rest of the jungle animals (that weren’t in “The Jungle Boy”) come out to help when needed. This time, Tarzan (Lord Greystroke) has met Jane and is back in England, when he goes to the jungle for government business and finds the bad guys (Christoph Waltz). “The Legend Of Tarzan” is rated PG 13. Rating of 3 for fans.
The BFG—This film is adapted from Roald Dahl’s book about a “Big Friendly Giant” who befriends a young girl. This is what would have happened in “Jack and the Beanstalk” if the giant there was friendly. Back to this film, the little girl is played by Rebecca Hall, and she has her hands full in giant land. “The BFG” is rated PG 13. Rating of 2.
JULY 08, 2016…
Captain Fantastic stars Viggio Mortensen as a father who has to take his family out of a wilderness to safety.
The Secret Life Of Pets is an animated skewered look at what pets do when people aren’t home. The commercials featuring “Maxie” are good.
Mike And Dave Need Wedding Dates and what a title for a film is this? Stars Zac Efron and Adam Devine.
Life (animated film documentary) is based on a true incident where Disney animated films help an autistic child to cope with life.
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