July 04, 2015: Saturday ONAIRprep *** Independence Day

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JULY 4TH THOUGHTS…

  1. July 4, 1776 – our forefathers founded a new government. And ever since then we’ve been trying to find the money to pay for it.
  2. I know we’ll see fireworks on the Fourth — we’ll be with family.
  3. On this date in 1776, our Founding Fathers were dressed in powdered wigs, lace cuffs, and velvet pants. I’m glad they knew how to fight because they sure didn’t know how to dress.
  4. Our country has come a long way since July of 1776. Before the revolution all our money went to England. Now it goes to Japan… and comes from China.
  5. I asked my kid if he knew where the Declaration of Independence was signed. He said, “On the bottom.”
  6. On this date in 1775, General Dynamics pleaded no contest to cost overruns on cannonballs they were making for the Continental army. They also sold overpriced toilet seats to General Washington’s Army. When asked for ID, George Washington showed people a quarter.
  7. A good day to keep your car window rolled up. I wouldn’t want one of those “rockets red glares” to land in the front seat with you.
  8. One of the more romantic days of the year. If you kiss her tonight, I guarantee you’ll see fireworks!
  9. Happy fireworks displays! Symbolizing the battle for truth. For example: I just told the boss how I really feel and he blew up! The rest of the staff went, “Oooh… Ahhhh!”
  10. Free press, free speech, free religion, free assembly, free fireworks, free watermelon!
  11. Weather forecast tonight: 100% chance of bombs bursting in air and 10% chance of scattered parking spaces.
  12. We’re planning our usual backyard barbecue. My wife has the fire department standing by.
  13. Ah, the Fourth of July. Eat, drink and be merry. Because tomorrow all the department stores begin decorating for Christmas.
  14. On this Fourth of July, remember, please drive with care. Mainly because (OTHER JOCK) will be out there, somewhere, driving around with $10,000 worth of fireworks in his trunk.
  15. Did you ever notice how many of the people selling fireworks have fingers missing?
  16. It’s important to remember why we celebrate the Fourth of July — because they let us off from work!
  17. Now, today’s touching 4th of July message from the National Gun Guys. Remember, cherry bombs don’t scare the fur off cats, people scare the fur off cats.
  18. I get very patriotic on July 4th. I mean, I feel so proud just seeing Old Glory waving high above the Toyota dealership.
  19. Thank goodness we won the Revolutionary War, or today Clarence Thomas would be wearing a powdered wig.
  20. Remember, kids, fireworks are dangerous, so don’t take chances. You could end up with nothing to see with … or hear with … or pick your nose with….
  21. Thank goodness our forefathers had the good sense to declare independence on July 4th. Otherwise, we wouldn’t have had a holiday all summer.
  22. Our ancestors wanted to celebrate the 4th of July with lots of noise, and they used firecrackers because in those days they didn’t have boom boxes.
  23. On July 4th we honor the millions of men and women who made this country what it is today — overcrowded.
  24. It’s the 4th of July – the day all of America celebrates its independence. *** With fireworks from Taiwan, flags from Hong Kong, barbecue grills imported from Japan…

 

 

BIBLE VERSE OF THE DAY

The Spirit of the Lord is upon me, for he has anointed me to bring Good News to the poor. He has sent me to proclaim that captives will be released, that the blind will see, that the oppressed will be set free. –Luke 4:18, NLT

 

The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it? “I the Lord search the heart and examine the mind, to reward a man according to his conduct, according to what his deeds deserve.” — Jeremiah 17:9-10

 

HEARTLIGHT VERSE & THOUGHT

The first thing Andrew did was to find his brother Simon and tell him, “We have found the Messiah!” — John 1:41-42

 

Thought: Andrew was always bringing people to Jesus. Except for that fact, and that he was Simon Peter’s brother and a fisherman, that’s about all we know about this apostle. But isn’t that the kind of reputation you would like to have!

 

Prayer: God of all salvation, please bless me as I seek to share Jesus with my friends and family. Please help me earn the reputation that Andrew had, someone who is always leading others to Christ. In Jesus’ name I pray. Amen.

 

The Thoughts and Prayers for Today’s Verse are written by Phil Ware. You can email questions or comments to phil@heartlight.org.

 

 

BIRTH VERSE” OF THE DAY

The chapter and verse corresponds to the month and the day!

Romans 7:4 NIV = So, my brothers, you also died to the law through the body of Christ, that you might belong to another, to him who was raised from the dead, in order that we might bear fruit to God.

 

 

TODAY IS SATURDAY – JULY 04, 2015

(NOTE: Some holidays may be duplicated due to various calendars reporting conflicting dates)
WEIRD, WACKY, STRANGE, ZANY, ODD, BIZARRE, QUIRKY, UNUSUAL HOLIDAYS!
THERE ARE ONLY 175 SHOPPING DAYS UNTIL CHRISTMAS.  

 

Today is U.S. INDEPENDENCE DAY. The Continental Congress approved the Declaration of Independence on July 4, 1776.  The document was actually signed a few days earlier – our Independence Day celebrations reflect the approval of the Declaration.

 

The INTERNATIONAL WORM RACES are today at Clearlake, California. Contestants can bring their own worms or rent fully trained local worms.  ***MARLAR: Gee, nothing says, “God bless America” like a big bunch of worms, eh?

 

The WORLD’S GREATEST LIZARD RACE is run today in Lovington, New Mexico. ***MARLAR: Gee, nothing says, “God bless America” like a big bunch of lizards…

 

The annual SIDEWALK EGG FRYING CONTEST is held today in Oatman, Arizona.  ***MARLAR: Gee, nothing says, “God bless America” like… ah, forget it – you get the idea.

 

Today is INDEPENDENCE FROM MEAT DAY, sponsored by the Vegetarian Awareness Network in Knoxville, Tennessee.  ***MARLAR: Proving that you’ll always have to deal with a few duds on Independence Day.

 

Today is INDEPENDENCE FROM VEGETARIANS DAY. ***MARLAR: Okay, not really – I just made this one up.

 

 

TODAY IS ALSO. . .

Boom Box Parade Day

Independence Day (USA)

Independence From Meat Day

Hop a Park Day

Indivisible Day

International Day of Cooperatives

International Cherry Pit Spitting Day

 

 

COMING UP NEXT

SUNDAY, JULY 05

Bikini Day

 

MONDAY, JULY 06

Earth at Aphelion

International Kissing Day (World Kissing Day)

Take Your Webmaster to Lunch Day

 

TUESDAY, JULY 07

Chocolate Day

Father-Daughter Take a Walk Together Day

Global Forgiveness Day

Tell The Truth Day

 

WEDNESDAY, JULY 08

Math 2.0 Day

SCUD Day (Savor the Comic, Unplug the Drama)

 

THURSDAY, JULY 09

Martyrdom of the Bab

 

FRIDAY, JULY 10

Collector Car Appreciation Day

Clerihew Day

Don’t Step On a Bee Day

Pina Colada Day

Taos Pueblo Pow Wow

Teddy Bears’ Picnic Day

Wayne Chicken Day

 

SATURDAY, JULY 11

Bowdler’s Day

Cheer Up The Lonely Day

Day of the Five Billion

National Rainier Cherries Day

Slurpee Day (7-Eleven Day)

World Population Day

Bald Is In Day

Carver Day

Grange Day

 

SUNDAY, JULY 12

Grange Day

Night of Nights

Simplicity Day

 

 

ON THIS DAY

1776: King George III of England noted in his diary, “Nothing of importance happened today.”

 

1884: The first American bull fight was held in Dodge City, Kansas. The bull lost.

 

1929: In Emeryville, California, minor leaguer Roy “Dizzy” Carlyle hit history’s longest home run: 618 feet.

 

1929: Baseball’s Lou Gehrig, “the Iron Horse,” said goodbye to his fans at New York’s Yankee Stadium.

 

1969: After 14 tries, 30-year-old Ann Jones or Britain became Wimbledon women’s singles champ when she beat Billie Jean King.

 

1970: Casey Kasem first hosted radio’s “American Top 40.” It was first broadcast on seven a.m. stations.

 

1972: Singer Willie Nelson inaugurated his first “4th of July Picnic” in Dripping Springs, Texas.

 

1982: Black Sabbath frontman Ozzy Osbourne married Sharon, his manager.

 

1987: Martina Navratilova won her sixth consecutive singles title at Wimbledon.

 

1993: Participants numbered 2,000 at the annual Nude Chili Cookoff at the Treehouse Fun Ranch in Devore, California.

 

1994: Michael Jackson and new bride Lisa Marie Presley arrived in Paris for a two-day visit.

 

1996: An Oslo newspaper reported that the Arctic Circle had moved and was 913 yards north of where everyone thought it was. The Circle is the northern-most point that the sun can be seen on the shortest day of the year. It moves a few yards each year because of the Earth’s rotation. In 15-thousand years or so it’ll move back.

 

1996: HotMail, a free internet email service, began.

 

1997: The 400-millionth person visited Disneyland. (

)

 

2003: Singer Barry White died in Los Angeles at age 58.

 

2003: After a single case of mad cow disease, Canadian beef prices in grocery stores fell to as low as 75 cents a pound.

 

2003: Los Angeles Lakers guard Kobe Bryant was arrested on suspicion of sexual assault. The charge was later dropped because his accuser did not want to go ahead with a trial.

 

 

TODAY IN CHRISTIAN HISTORY

973: Ulrich, bishop of Augsburg from 923, dies. Twenty years later he would become the first person canonized by a pope.

 

993: The first official Roman Catholicsaint, Ulrich of Augsburg, is named. Before this, saints were created pretty much by chance. To formalize the system, the church established rules of canonization.

 

1187: Saladin, leader of the united Muslim forces, defeats the armies of the Third Crusade at Tiberius.

 

1531: John Frith is condemned and burned. A Protestant and fellow translator with William Tyndale, he was accused of heresy.

 

1832: At Boston’s Park Street Church, the song, “America,” was publicly sung for the first time. The words were written by Dr. Samuel Francis Smith who borrowed the tune from a German songbook. Unknown to Dr. Smith, the melody was the same as the British national anthem.

 

 

HOLLYWOOD, SPORTS AND CELEBRITY FIGURE BIRTHDAYS

TV host/reporter Geraldo Rivera 72

 

 

BEE-BOP BIRTHDAYS

(Music Artist Birthdays From SongFacts.com)

1911 : Mitch Miller

1938 : Bill Withers

1943 : Alan “Blind Owl” Wilson (Canned Heat)

1948 : Jeremy Spencer (Fleetwood Mac)

1951 : Ralph Johnson (Earth, Wind & Fire)

1955 : John Waite (The Babys)

1958 : Kirk Pengilly (INXS)

1963 : Matt Malley (Counting Crows)

1971 : Andrew Creeggan (Barenaked Ladies)

1972 : William Goldsmith (Foo Fighters)

1978 : Stephen McNally (BBMak)

 

 

SECRETS OF THE UNIVERSE

What’s the typical diet on Independence Day in the United States?

Although we do not have a fixed menu for the celebration of the Fourth, you can almost count on traditional favorites such as hamburgers and hot dogs, chicken, ribs, garden salads, potato salad, chips and watermelon. Following is a summary of where these foods come from:

There’s a 1-in-6 chance the beef on your backyard grill came from Texas. The Lone Star State was the leader in the production of cattle and calves, accounting for 7.2 billion pounds of the nation’s total production of 42.2 billion pounds last year.

There’s a 1-in-4 chance your hot dogs and ribs originated in Iowa. The Hawkeye State had a total inventory of 14.9 million hogs and pigs as of March 1, 2004 — about one-fourth of the nation’s total.

The chicken on your barbecue grill probably came from one of the top broiler-producing states: Georgia, Arkansas, Alabama, North Carolina and Mississippi. The value of production in each of these states exceeded $1 billion in 2004. These states combined for well over half of the nation’s broiler production.

The lettuce in your salad or on your hamburger probably was grown in California, which accounted for nearly three-quarters of lettuce production in 2004.

The fresh tomatoes in your salad most likely came from Florida or California, which, combined, produced more than two-thirds of U.S. tomatoes in 2004. The ketchup on your hamburger or hot dog probably came from California, which accounted for 95 percent of processed tomato production last year.

There’s a 1-in-3 chance the beans in your side dish of baked beans or pork and beans came from North Dakota, which produced more than one-third of the dry, edible beans in 2004.

As to potato salad or potato chips or fries, Idaho and Washington produced about one-half of the nation’s spuds in 2004.

For dessert, six states — California, Florida, Texas, Georgia, Arizona and Indiana — combined to produce about 80 percent of watermelons last year.

 

 

CHRISTIAN ARTIST NEWS

Do you like the Christian Artist News you see below? It’s just a tiny sample of the 5-6 pages of material you could be receive every weekday… and it’s FREE! Become one of their subscribers at ChristianRadioShowPrepServices.com!

 

The song Impossible is the latest release from Building 429 and now members of the band are asking that you create lyric images for the song and then submit them on twitter with the hash tag #ImpossibleLyrics. They plan to feature one submission each week on Instagram.

 

The members of the band Hawk Nelson were celebrating their heritage this week. The band celebrated Canada day by enjoying Tim Horton Donuts.

 

Adam and Sharon Agee celebrated their anniversary by reliving their first date. Audio Adrenaline front man Adam Agee says they were at a baseball game, just like the very first time they went out together..

http://t.co/FPExnx4YLL

 

Sidewalk Prophets front man David Frey was moving this week. He shared online: Today was moving day. Tomorrow is still moving day. I hate moving. But Dave did find a silver lining. He added: but what awesome weather in Nashville. Thank you Lord.

 

Casting Crowns’ Juan DeVevo has found the perfect way to keep up with the kids and survive camp. He tweeted: Manhunt: the fun, late night game where I lead my team to hide in a place where I can nap.

 

Kevin Max tweeted this week: I’m obsessed with tepees just now. The former member of DC Talk and Audio Adrenaline shared a picture of a tepee with the caption: This will find its way into my backyard soon…. Fur lined, vinyl player, no tv…Lots of books.

 

Mercyme member Nathan Cochran will soon be the father of a teenager. He shared online: my oldest son William will be 13 in a few short days. Nathan said that, to celebrate, they were taking a trip, just the two of them.

 

Joel from for King and Country will never forget the date that he first met his wife, fellow artist Moria Peters. It was on the same day as his brother, Luke’s, wedding. Joel says he met and danced with Moriah five years ago this week.

 

Periscope may need to come with a warning label. Jamie Grace was on the social media site that lets artists broadcast live online and got stuck in an elevator. After a brief outage Jamie was back live on periscope reporting: I’m 100% alive and still singing.

 

Skillet front man Jon Foreman may have gotten more than he bargained for when he shook hands with fans after a recent show. One fan told Jon on twitter: I shook your hand last night at creation ….I have poison ivy. Sorry.

 

 

WEIRD & WACKY

Dolphin leaps onto boat, injuring California woman    photo
SANTA ANA, Calif. (AP) — A dolphin leaped onto a boat in Southern California, crashing into a woman and breaking both her ankles. Chrissie Frickman was boating with her husband and two children June 21 when a pod of dolphins swam alongside them. One of the animals jumped on the vessel,…

 

Man charged with robbing same New Jersey bank 5 years later
ATLANTIC CITY, N.J. (AP) — A Philadelphia man robbed a New Jersey bank four months after he was released from prison for robbing the same place five years earlier, prosecutors said. Authorities said 54-year-old Keith Ney entered the Cape Bank in Atlantic City on April 23 and gave a teller a…
2 share pageant title after miscount, but one is upset
WINSLOW, Maine (AP) — One winner of a teenage Miss 4th of July pageant is upset. The other agreed to share the title but isn’t talking. And the pageant organizer is defending herself from accusations she rigged the results. Molly Lybrook, 17, of Fairfield, said she won the Winslow Miss 4th of…
Woman’s parking citation tossed because of missing comma
MIDDLETOWN, Ohio (AP) — An appeals court has agreed with an Ohio woman who said her parking citation should be tossed because the village law was missing a comma. Andrea Cammelleri (kah-meh-LEHR’-ee) says she shouldn’t have been issued a citation in 2014 based on the wording of the law…
Grenade-shaped perfume bottle leads to courthouse evacuation    photo
CINCINNATI (AP) — A suspicious item that prompted a Cincinnati courthouse evacuation turned out to be a perfume bottle shaped like a World War II grenade. Hamilton County Sheriff Jim Neil told reporters that the bottle was shaped like a “pineapple” hand grenade and was in a woman’s suitcase….
Pope dolls, bobble heads up for sale months before US visit
PHILADELPHIA (AP) — Pope Francis is a doll. No, really. The people organizing the pontiff’s September visit to Philadelphia launched an online store Wednesday featuring papal plush dolls and bobble heads. The World Meeting of Families website features posters, T-shirts and life-sized cutouts…
Man jailed for not paying $749 fare for 300-mile cab ride
UNIONTOWN, Pa. (AP) — Police say a man who took a 300-mile cab ride across Pennsylvania to surprise his fiancee has been jailed because he couldn’t pay the $749 fare. Police say 35-year-old New York City resident John Williams Jr. took the taxi from Philadelphia to Uniontown with his children…
For sale: Former prison with mountain view, sleeps hundreds
MOREAU, N.Y. (AP) — For sale: A 325-acre New York property containing more than 100 structures atop a mountain offering spectacular views. Sleeps hundreds. And one more thing: It’s a former prison. The economic development office says July 7 is the deadline to submit bids to turn the prison…
Pennsylvania track to start races earlier to avoid deer
ERIE, Pa. (AP) — Deer, not deuces, are wild at Presque Isle Downs and Casino, and the racetrack is making changes to get its horses back in the starting gate. Officials plan to resume racing on Wednesday after canceling some races Sunday and all the races Monday and Tuesday because deer were…
4th set of triplets delivered at California hospital
FRESNO, Calif. (AP) — Doctors at a Central California hospital have delivered a fourth set of triplets in the last four weeks. HASH(0x13eb2d0) The newspaper reported that hospital officials confirmed the latest births, but the family didn’t give permission to release any other details. One…
Maine woman pleads guilty to stealing wreaths from cemetery
ALFRED, Maine (AP) — A Maine woman has pleaded guilty to stealing Christmas wreaths and arrangements from grave sites in a Saco cemetery to decorate her own properties during the holidays. Saco police announced that 56-year-old Pamela Golarz, of Old Orchard Beach, was fined $950 after…

 

 

HEALTH & FITNESS

Ex-Iowa State scientist gets prison for faking HIV research    photo
DES MOINES, Iowa (AP) — A former Iowa State University scientist who altered blood samples to make it appear he had achieved a breakthrough toward a potential vaccine against HIV was sentenced Wednesday to more than 4 ½ years in prison for making false statements in research reports….

 

Study offers clue to link between swine flu shot, narcolepsy
WASHINGTON (AP) — One vaccine used in Europe during the 2009 swine flu pandemic was linked to rare cases of a baffling side effect — the sleep disorder narcolepsy. Now new research offers a clue to what happened. The vaccine Pandemrix never was used in the United States, and was pulled…
French court: No compensation over faulty breast implants    photo
PARIS (AP) — A French appeals court ruled Thursday that a German product-testing company does not have to compensate more than 3,000 women with leak-prone breast implants — and now women who sued may have to pay back 5.8 million euros ($6.4 million) in collective damages they received…
2nd Ebola case declared in Liberia as health workers protest    photo
MONROVIA, Liberia (AP) — Liberian officials confirmed a second Ebola case Wednesday in the same town where the disease was detected days earlier on the corpse of a teenager, seven weeks after the country was declared Ebola-free. The infected person was moved to Monrovia, said Deputy Health…
Report urges major steps to help victims of cardiac arrest
WASHINGTON (AP) — Would you know what to do if you see someone collapse, not breathing — a loved one at home, a co-worker at the office, a stranger on the street? Far too many Americans die of cardiac arrest, and now a major new report urges a national campaign to improve survival in…
OxyContin maker bows out of meeting on harder-to-abuse drug
WASHINGTON (AP) — The makers of the potent painkiller OxyContin have pulled out of a federal meeting to review the company’s harder-to-abuse version of the much-debated drug. An executive for Purdue Pharma says the company wants more time to review and analyze its data. As a result, the…
After trade deal, Obama seeks to repair rift with labor
WASHINGTON (AP) — After the push for trade legislation ruptured relations between the White House and organized labor, President Barack Obama is embarking on something of a repair mission. Within hours of business leaders joining him at a White House signing ceremony for the polarizing trade…
Poll: Approval for Supreme Court health care decision
WASHINGTON (AP) — A new poll finds that most Americans approve of the recent Supreme Court decision preserving the health care law’s subsidized insurance premiums for people in all 50 states. Overall, 62 percent approved, while 32 percent disapproved, said the survey released Wednesday by the…
O say can you breathe? Fireworks pollute air, study says    photo
NEW YORK (AP) — July Fourth fireworks fill the skies across the nation with more than sparkling bursts of color. They spew pollution, too. A study of 315 locations around the country found that the holiday explosions temporarily boosted the levels of airborne microscopic particles that can…
What’s next for California’s contentious vaccine law    photo
SACRAMENTO, Calif. (AP) — Gov. Jerry Brown has signed a hotly contested California bill to impose one of the strictest school vaccination laws in the country in the wake of an outbreak of measles at Disneyland late last year. The following is a look at what the new law signed Tuesday means…
Ex-Iowa egg farm manager gets probation after assisting feds
SIOUX CITY, Iowa (AP) — A former Iowa egg farm manager will avoid jail time after cooperating with investigators in a criminal prosecution stemming from a 2010 salmonella outbreak. U.S. District Judge Mark Bennett sentenced Tony Wasmund to four years of probation Tuesday after the government…

 

 

NEWS KICKERS

(None on the weekends)

 

NEW NEWS KICKERS…

 

 

NEWS KICKER EVERGREENS…

 

 

WONDER WOMAN

CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD TODAY’S EPISODE… “Buying Barbie’s Friends”

 

 

DAILY COMEDY CLIP

CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD TODAY’S EPISODE… Steve Geyer, “Driving Statistics”

 

 

AS THE JUNGLE TURNS – WEEKDAY VERSION

CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD MONDAY’S EPISODE
OPEN: And now, FancyMonkey.com, (Show Name), and (Station Call Letters) bring you As the Jungle Turns! Last time, all of the animals finally decided to stop buying fancier and fancier shoes just to impress each other. Well, the truth is that everyone ran out of money. But then they all realized that true friends didn’t need to be the envy of the entire jungle. Well, everyone realized this except Millard the Monkey…

 

CLOSE: There he goes again! Tune in next time for another exciting episode of As the Jungle Turns!

 

 

AS THE JUNGLE TURNS – SATURDAY/SUNDAY VERSION

CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD THE EPISODE FOR THE WEEKEND OF JULY 4/5, 2015
OPEN: And now, FancyMonkey.com, (Show Name), and (Station Call Letters) bring you As the Jungle Turns! When last we left the jungle island of Razzleflabbin, Marvy Snuffleson had voiced his disgust over having to work so much – he was tired of it and didn’t want to work anymore. Now he’s on Razzleflabbin Island, and his friends Karl and Olaf are showing him their new weekly calendar clock-tower…

 

CLOSE: Every day could be Saturday… we all wish that from time to time, don’t we? But would it really be a good thing? Tune in next time to find out – As the Jungle Turns!

 

***You may simulcast “As the Jungle Turns” on the Internet stream of your live broadcast only. Any other Internet use of As the Jungle Turns in whole or part including podcasting of your live broadcast is a violation of copyright law. Thank you for your cooperation on this vitally important issue. If you have any questions, please e-mail us.

 

 

MOMENT OF DUH

An explosive Moment of Duh today to celebrate Independence Day!

Kansas City resident John Hanson was celebrating the 4th of July with several of his friends by shooting off some fireworks. The group got a little loud and rowdy and the neighbors called the cops. Since it’s illegal to have fireworks in the city one of the friends hid them before the police arrived. Finding nothing illegal, the police told the group to keep the noise down and left. End of story, right? Wrong! About 3 AM John got hungry and went into the kitchen to warm up some lasagna. And that’s when he discovered where his friend had hidden the fireworks. In the oven. He only found out AFTER his kitchen was blown to bits.

 

 

TOP TEN

TOP TEN FUN THINGS TO DO WHILE DRIVING

 

  1. Vary your vehicle’s speed inversely with the speed limit.

 

  1. Roll down your windows and blast talk radio. Attempt to headbang.

 

  1. At stop lights, eye the person in the next car suspiciously. With a look of fear, lock your doors.

 

  1. Two words: Chicken suit.

 

  1. Write the words “Help me” on your back window in red paint. The more it looks like blood, the better.

 

  1. Have conversations, looking periodically at the passenger seat, when driving alone.

 

  1. Stop at the green lights.

 

  1. Go at the red ones.

 

  1. Occasionally wave a stuffed animal/troll doll/Barbie out your window or sunroof. Feel free to make it dance.

 

  1. Eat food that requires silverware.

 

 

THE FILES OF LAW & DISORDER

A bank robbery goes terribly wrong!

 

FILE #1: You just can’t put anything past those people in California, can you? Two would-be bank robbers spent all night waiting inside a bank in San Francisco after attacking a janitor and forcing their way inside the night before. When the first teller arrived in the morning, these guys ordered her to open the vault. Sounds like a pretty good plan, doesn’t it? But the teller explained that she couldn’t open the vault, as it took two employees to do it. But hey, she had an idea. She saw the bank manager standing around outside, so if the robbers would let her out the front door, she could get the bank manager, bring him back in inside, and then they could open the vault! Believe it or not these two losers believed she’d do exactly that… suckers! She stepped outside of course… and called the police. They arrived to find two robbers still waiting to see the bank manager.

 

FILE #2: A standoff in Atlanta ended peacefully in late March.  The suspect held police at bay for two hours with a knife to his hostage’s neck as the negotiations continued.  The standoff might have lasted even longer had the suspect not been his own hostage.  Bleeding from self-inflicted stab wounds, cops finally Tasered him and took him to the hospital.

 

FILE #3: A thief in Germany was arrested after he tried to sell a garden mower online to the man he had stolen it from. The owner went to inspect the goods and recognized the mower as his own. Officers confronted the 46-year-old suspect, who confessed to stealing the mower from a shed. He later put it for sale on internet auction site eBay.

 

STRANGE LAW: Connecticut: You are not allowed to walk across a street on your hands.

 

 

THIS IS YOUR BRAIN ON DRUGS

Only a brain on drugs would ask for help from the police so you could evade people trying to steal your cocaine.

William Vines rushed into a New York police station and told the officer on duty that two men in a BMW had tried to cut him off in traffic and had waved a gun at him. And, in fact, he thought they were still waiting for him outside. When the officer went to check on the situation he found two men trying to break into the trunk of William’s Malibu, right there in front of the police station. After arresting them, the officer decided to take a little look in the trunk to see what the guys were after. Perhaps William shouldn’t have informed the police… in his trunk was almost a half a million dollars worth of cocaine. Busted!

 

 

PHONER PHUN

Worm races, lizard races, watermelon eating competition, what fun or bizarre games do you get involved with each year for Independence Day?

 

 

BIBLE BRAIN BUSTER!

QUESTION: Who was the sweet psalmist of Israel?

ANSWER: David (2 Samuel 23:1)

 

 

QUESTION IMPOSSIBLE

QUESTION: When was Independence Day first observed?

ANSWER: Independence Day was first observed in Philadelphia on July 8, 1776. In 1941, Congress declared July 4 a federal legal holiday.

 

 

TRUE OR FALSE

Pay attention! If our next player doesn’t answer all ten T/F questions correctly we start all over from question #1! First person to answer question #10 correctly is our winner!

A SPECIAL INDEPENDENCE DAY “TRUE OR FALSE!”

 

  1. U.S. President Calvin Coolidge (30th) was born on July 4, 1872. (True)

 

  1. Two U.S. Presidents died on July 4th. (False – three did. Presidents John Adams and Thomas Jefferson both died on July 4, 1826, the 50th anniversary of the Declaration of Independence. President James Monroe died on July 4, 1831.)

 

  1. Only two people signed the Declaration of Independence on July 4th, 1776. (True, John Hancock and Charles Thomson. Most of the rest signed on August 2, but the last signature wasn’t added until 5 years later.)

 

  1. July 4th was established by Congress as a federal holiday within a year after the signing of the Declaration of Independence. (False. Americans just celebrated this event for centuries on their own. But in 1941, Congress finally established the Fourth of July as a legal holiday.)

 

  1. The Star Spangled Banner was originally written on the back of an envelope.   (True – during the bombing of Baltimore’s Fort McHenry in 1814.)

 

  1. The first official 4th of July party was in 1777. (True – in Philadelphia. Warships along the docks fired a 13-gun salute in honor of the 13 states. The soldiers who were in the area, paraded through the streets.)

 

  1. The term “fireworks” didn’t come about until 1777. (True. Before that, they were simply called “rockets.” Because they were more visual than anything, they called them “fireworks.”   Later on, the ones that were made for noise – and not beauty – were called “fire crackers.” “Sparklers” weren’t invented until 1880.)

 

  1. “My Country ‘Tis of Thee” has the same tune as Britain’s “God Save the King.” (True. Samuel Francis Smith wrote the song in 1831 but did not realize the tune he selected was the tune for the British national anthem, “God Save the King.”)

 

  1. “America the Beautiful” was penned after seeing the Grand Canyon. (False – the song was penned by Katherine Lee Bates in 1893 after viewing Pikes Peak.)

 

  1. The first 4th of July parade took place in the streets of Philadelphia in 1778. (False – the first parade wasn’t in a street at all, and it took place in 1825. It really was a parade of boats on the Potomac River in Washington, D.C. President John Quincy Adams and a group of Americans and foreign dignitaries boarded a steamboat and led a procession of barges and other boats up the river to the site today known as The Tidal Basin.)

 

 

TABLOID MATCH GAME

You have to match the blank in the tabloid headline with the word or phrase that has been removed!

“New _____Runs on Double-A Batteries!” (AIRPLANE)

In Japan, the plane, which used 160 AA batteries, flew 1,283 feet in one minute. Weighing barely less than 97 pounds itself, the plane was piloted by a 135 pound student from the Tokyo Institute of Technology which created the thing.

 

 

THE WAY TOO EARLY IN THE MORNING TO UNDERSTAND THE PUNCHLINE EVEN AFTER TWO CUPS OF COFFEE JOKE OF THE DAY

JOKE #1

A Jewish rabbi and a Catholic priest met at the town’s annual 4th of July picnic. Old friends, they began their usual banter.

“This baked ham is really delicious,” the priest teased the rabbi. “You really ought to try it. I know it’s against your religion, but I can’t understand why such a wonderful food should be forbidden! You don’t know what you’re missing. You just haven’t lived until you’ve tried Mrs. Frobisher’s prized Virginia Baked Ham. Tell me, Rabbi, when are you going to break down and try it?”

The rabbi looked at the priest with a big grin, and said, “At your wedding.”

 

JOKE #2

A father took his five-year-old son to several baseball games where The Star-Spangled Banner was sung before the start of each game.

Then the father and son attended a church on a Sunday shortly before Independence Day.

The congregation sang The Star-Spangled Banner, and after everyone sat down, the little boy suddenly yelled out, “PLAY BALL!!!”

 

JOKE #3

The Fourth of July weekend was coming up, and the nursery school teacher took the opportunity to tell her class about patriotism. “We live in a great country,” she said. “One of the things we should be happy is that, in this country, we are all free.”

One little boy came walking up to her from the back of the room. He stood with his hands on his hips and said, “I’m not free… I’m four.”

 

 

USELESS FACTS

The Centers for Disease Control has announced that rubella, or German measles, is the latest scourge to have been completely eradicated from the Unites States. ***MARLAR: Now if somebody could just do something about those Axe Body Spray commercials.

 

A recent survey shows that one in four Americans — that’s 70 million people — aren’t getting enough sleep. It seems that job stress, money woes, aches and pains, worries about terrorism and war, relationship troubles and holiday anxieties keep us up at night. ***MARLAR: (long pause) Oh, sorry… I must’ve dozed off.

 

 

FEATURED FUNNIES

A NOTE FROM ACROSS THE POND

In light of your failure to nominate competent candidates for President of the USA and thus to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence, effective immediately.  Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchical duties over all states, commonwealths, and territories (except Kansas, which she does not fancy).  Your new prime minister, Gordon Brown, will appoint a governor for America without the need for further elections.  Congress and the Senate will be disbanded.  A questionnaire may be circulated next year to determine whether any of you noticed.  To aid in the transition to a British Crown Dependency, the following rules are introduced with immediate effect:

  1. The letter ‘U’ will be reinstated in words such as ‘favour’ and ‘neighbour.’ Likewise, you will learn to spell ‘doughnut’ without skipping half the letters, and the suffix -ize will be replaced by the suffix -ise.  Generally, you will be expected to raise your vocabulary to acceptable levels. (Look up ‘vocabulary’).
  2. Using the same twenty-seven words interspersed with filler noises such as ‘like’ and ‘you know’ is an unacceptable and inefficient form of communication.  There is no such thing as US English. We will let Microsoft know on your behalf. The Microsoft spell-checker will be adjusted to take account of the reinstated letter ‘u’ and the elimination of -ize. You will relearn your original national anthem: God Save The Queen.
  3. July 4th will no longer be celebrated as a holiday.
  4. You will learn to resolve personal issues without using guns, lawyers, or therapists. The fact that you need so many lawyers and therapists shows that you’re not adult enough to be independent.  Guns should only be handled by adults. If you’re not adult enough to sort things out without suing someone or speaking to a therapist then you’re not grown up enough to handle a gun.
  5. Therefore, you will no longer be allowed to own or carry anything more dangerous than a vegetable peeler. A permit will be required if you wish to carry a vegetable peeler in public.
  6. All American cars are hereby banned. They are garbage and this is for your own good. When we show you German cars, you will understand what we mean.
  7. All intersections will be replaced with roundabouts, and you will start driving on the left with immediate effect. At the same time, you will go metric with immediate effect and without the benefit of conversion tables. Both roundabouts and metrication will help you understand the British sense of humour.
  8. The Former USA will adopt UK prices on petrol (which you have been calling gasoline)-roughly $6/US gallon. Get used to it.
  9. You will learn to make real chips. Those things you call ‘French Fries’ are not real chips, and those things you insist on calling potato chips are properly called crisps. Real chips are thick cut, fried in animal fat, and dressed not with catsup but with vinegar.
  10. Hollywood will be required occasionally to cast English actors as good guys. Hollywood will also be required to cast English actors to play English characters. Watching Andie McDowell attempt English dialogue in Four Weddings and a Funeral was an experience akin to having one’s ears removed with a cheese grater.
  11. You will cease playing American football. There is only one kind of proper football; you call it soccer. Those of you brave enough will, in time, be allowed to play rugby (which has some similarities to American football, but does not involve stopping for a rest every twenty seconds or wearing full Kevlar body armour like a bunch of nancies). Don’t try Rugby – the South Africans and Kiwis will thrash you, like they regularly thrash us.
  12. Further, you will stop playing baseball. It is not reasonable to host an event called the World Series for a game which is not played outside of America. Since only 2.1% of you are aware that there is a world beyond your borders, your error is understandable. You will learn cricket, and we will let you face the South Africans first to take the sting out of their deliveries.
  13. You must tell us who killed JFK. It’s been driving us mad.
  14. An internal revenue agent (i.e. tax collector) from Her Majesty’s Government will be with you shortly to ensure the acquisition of all monies due (backdated to 1776).
  15. Daily Tea Time begins promptly at 4 pm with proper cups, never mugs, with high quality biscuits (cookies) and cakes; strawberries in season.

God save the Queen. Only He can.

 

 

IT MUST BE TRUE BECAUSE I HEARD IT ON THE RADIO!

MOVIE: “INDEPENDENCE DAY” FACTS

  • In the scene where Will Smith and Jeff Goldblum are being chased out of the alien mothership, Jeff says “Must go faster, must go faster.” In the film Jurassic Park, when Jeff is injured, riding in the back of a jeep, and getting chased by the T-Rex, he says exactly the same line; same emphasis, same tone, same everything.
  • In the scene at the start (look carefully) just before Will notices the alien ship, all of his neighbors are packing up and leaving. There is a mailman delivering the mail to one of the neighbors. Always delivering, come rain, shine, or aliens.
  • The little boy who plays Dylan co-starred with Will once before. He played Will’s youngest cousin, Nicky, on the television show, The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air.
  • There are several references to other science fiction movies in ID4. When Jeff Goldblum turns on his computer, the computer’s voice says ‘Good Morning Dave’ which is a reference to the film 2001.
  • The humans are out of missiles in the final battle, except for Randy Quaid, who crashes into the alien main weapon, destroying the ship. A number of problems here. First off, a central control center operator reports all the missiles have been fired, indicating they can monitor all planes. But somehow Quaid’s missile escaped their notice. Then no one in the control room seems to know where Quaid came from, which they should know if they were monitoring the fighters. Actually these mistakes stem from the original ending, which involved Quaid arriving to the battle in his biplane with a missile strapped to it, because he was too drunk to be given a fighter. He then flew the biplane into the alien ship because he obviously couldn’t fire the missile. But producers felt this was too cheesy and filmed Quaid in a fighter, but chose not to film the control center scenes again.
  • When the First Lady is hopping in the helicopter to fly out of L.A., another helicopter is nearby. It flies past a building that has a large IBM logo on it. People are standing on the top of the building, giving the impression that it is one of the first buildings to blow up. Remember that the movie was sponsored by Apple.
  • The reason for the introduction of the ‘biomechanical exosuits’ was that actually two alien designs were presented to Emmerich, but since he liked both, the more monstrous design was used for the suits.

 

 

INSPIRATIONAL INSPIRATION

OLD GLORY

I am the flag of the United States of America, I was born on July 4th, 1776 and the Declaration of Independence is my birth certificate.

The blood lines of the world run through my veins, for I offer freedom to the oppressed. I stand for many things and many people. I am the nation.

I have fought in every battle of every war, for more than 200 years: Gettysburg, Anzio, Normandy, Guam, Iwo Jima, Korea, Saigon, Granada, Beirut, Panama, in the Persian Gulf… a score of places, I was there, I led my soldiers, marines, sailors, and airmen. I follow them, I watch over them — they love me.

May I possess always the integrity, the courage, and the strength to keep myself unshackled, to remain the citadel of freedom, and the beacon of strength to the rest of the world. This is my goal, my hope, my prayer.

I have slipped the bonds of earth and from my vantage point on the moon, I stand watch over the uncharted new frontiers of space.

I fly half mast to honor my soldiers, I lie in the trembling arms of a grieving mother, at the grave side of her fallen son or daughter.

I am proud… I am free… I am brave.

My name is”Old Glory”, long may I wave.

 

 

I BELIEVE IN AMERICA

William Arthur Ward

I believe in America.

I believe it became great because of its faith in God, its hope for independence, and its love for freedom.

I am grateful for America’s glorious past; I am awed by its unbelievable present; I am confident of its limitless future.

I am not ashamed to take my hat off and to stand at attention when Old Glory passes by. I do not apologize for the lump in my throat when I repeat the Pledge of Allegiance. I am not embarrassed by the tears in my eyes when I hear ‘The Star Spangled Banner.’

Like millions of Americans, I want a free choice, not a free handout. I prefer an opportunity to prove my abilities on the job rather than a license to demonstrate my frustrations in the street.

I am an old fashioned American with a new-found determination to do my part to make democracy work.
DRIVE TIME DEVOTIONAL

THE RIGHTS OF GOD

Read: Isaiah 5:1-7

[God] expected it to bring forth good grapes, but it brought forth wild grapes. —Isaiah 5:2

Isaiah’s song picturing Israel as the Lord’s vineyard teaches us that God has a right to expect love, worship, and obedience from those He blesses. Unfortunately, like people in Isaiah’s day, many of us show little gratitude. And we deliberately break His moral laws. When we behave this way, God has a right to act in judgment.

History reveals that whenever a nation ignores God and rejects His Word, it reaps a bitter harvest.

On this Independence Day, we in the United States are reminded again of the liberties we enjoy. For these we should be deeply grateful. But sometimes we take them for granted, displaying little concern for those who are not so abundantly blessed. We are becoming a nation of individuals who selfishly insist on our own rights, making unfair demands on others and not thinking of their welfare.

Worst of all, in this clamor for personal freedom, we hear very little about the rights of God. We should recognize that He is the “Lord of the vineyard.” He expects us to produce the fruits of love and obedience instead of the wild grapes of ingratitude and wickedness (Isaiah 5:2).

As we thank God for our rights, let’s not forget the rights of God. —Herb Vander Lugt

 

So long as faith is kept alive,
Nation and people will survive;
God keep them, always, everywhere:
The hearth, the Book, the place of prayer. —Anon.

 

True freedom is not in having our own way, but in yielding to God’s way.

 

 

LEFTOVERS

THE STAR SPANGLED BANNER

I’m going to give you the lyrics to our national anthem, the Star Spangled Banner.  What, you think you know the lyrics?  Do you know ALL FOUR VERSES of the Star Spangled Banner?  Ah ha!  See… we can all learn to be a bit more patriotic!

 

Oh, say can you see by the dawn’s early light

What so proudly we hailed at the twilight’s last gleaming?

Whose broad stripes and bright stars thru the perilous fight,

O’er the ramparts we watched were so gallantly streaming?

And the rocket’s red glare, the bombs bursting in air,

Gave proof through the night that our flag was still there.

Oh, say does that star-spangled banner yet wave

O’er the land of the free and the home of the brave?

 

On the shore, dimly seen through the mists of the deep,

Where the foe’s haughty host in dread silence reposes,

What is that which the breeze, o’er the towering steep,

As it fitfully blows, half conceals, half discloses?

Now it catches the gleam of the morning’s first beam,

In full glory reflected now shines in the stream:

‘Tis the star-spangled banner! Oh long may it wave

O’er the land of the free and the home of the brave!

 

And where is that band who so vauntingly swore

That the havoc of war and the battle’s confusion,

A home and a country should leave us no more!

Their blood has washed out their foul footsteps’ pollution.

No refuge could save the hireling and slave

From the terror of flight, or the gloom of the grave:

And the star-spangled banner in triumph doth wave

O’er the land of the free and the home of the brave!

 

Oh! thus be it ever, when freemen shall stand

Between their loved home and the war’s desolation!

Blest with victory and peace, may the heav’n rescued land

Praise the Power that hath made and preserved us a nation.

Then conquer we must, when our cause it is just,

And this be our motto: “In God is our trust.”

And the star-spangled banner in triumph shall wave

O’er the land of the free and the home of the brave!

 

 

LIFE… LIVE IT

U.S. TEENS STRUGGLE WITH AMERICAN HISTORY

Some American teens may think Independence Day was meant to celebrate the end of the school year.

A nationwide telephone survey found that one in five U.S. teens doesn’t know from which country America declared its independence. Twenty-two percent of those who responded to the survey commissioned by the Colonial Williamsburg Foundation did not know the answer was England. Fourteen percent thought it was France. It gets worse:

  • One in 10 did not know George Washington was the first president.
  • 17 percent did not know there were 13 original colonies.
  • 15 percent did not know the Continental Congress adopted the Declaration of Independence on July 4, 1776.
  • Nearly one in four did not know who fought in the Civil War; 13 percent thought it was the United States and England.
  • Only 70 percent of Americans know there are 50 stars on the flag. 10 percent think there are 52.
  • 38 percent don’t know the National Anthem is “The Star Spangled Banner”. 6 percent think it’s “God Bless America” and 3 percent think it’s “America, the Beautiful”.
  • 40 percent don’t know the Declaration of Independence was signed in 1776.
  • 12 percent think the first president was either Abe Lincoln (who was actually our 16th President) or Benjamin Franklin (who never was President), not George Washington.

***MARLAR: And 15 percent wonder how much tuition is to attend the Electoral College.

 

 

PETS & PYROTECHNICS

It wouldn’t be the 4th of July without the celebration of a fireworks display in the night sky. But for your pets, the holiday can be a frightening nightmare. To ensure your pet stays safe, here are some safety tips:

  • Keep small pets indoors at home in a safe, sheltered area. Turn on the radio or TV for distraction.
  • Never leave pets alone outdoors, even if tethered or in a fenced yard. Dogs, especially, may escape and become lost or injure themselves by chewing or choking on their leashes.
  • Do not take your pet to a fireworks show or leave it in your car unattended. If you must be outside with your pet, be sure to keep it on a leash or in a carrier.
  • Protect animals from children who may not realize that waving sparklers or setting off “safe” firecrackers could upset a family pet.
  • Make sure your pet’s ID tags are current, so you can be reunited easily in the event that it runs away.
  • If your dog or cat is extremely fearful or easily stressed, talk to your veterinarian about a mild sedative or tranquilizer to calm its fears.
  • Horses may need to be sedated. Make sure all sharp objects are removed from their enclosures. If you have stalls, keep them in their stalls rather than outside.

 

 

JUST FOR FUN

FIREWORKS SAFETY

To help you celebrate safely this Fourth of July, the Consumer Product Safety Commission and the National Council on Fireworks Safety offer the following safety tips:

  • Always read and follow label directions.
  • Have an adult present. ***MARLAR: Hey, Uncle Dave? Hold this for me while I light it, okay?
  • Always buy from reliable fireworks dealers.  ***MARLAR: So, these aren’t really sticks of dynamite? They just look like them?
  • Ignite outdoors.  ***MARLAR: Lightning fireworks indoors pretty much guarantees a brilliant fireworks display – but you’ll need to buy a new house afterwards.
  • Have water handy.  ***MARLAR: However, if the house is on fire, you might want to call the fire department too.
  • Never experiment or attempt to make your own fireworks.  ***MARLAR: I got all the black powder inside this five gallon gasoline can… let’s light it!
  • Light one firework at a time.  ***MARLAR: Okay, so much for blowing up a whole string of Black Cats.
  • Never re-ignite malfunctioning fireworks.  ***MARLAR: Sure, you might get them to work, but you might also get them to blow your hand off too… is it really worth it for the “bang”?
  • Never give fireworks to small children.  ***MARLAR: Honey, it’s okay to let the baby hold it. He’s only gonna chew on it and make it soggy.
  • Store your fireworks in a cool, dry place.  ***MARLAR: Like… Canada!
  • Dispose of properly.  ***MARLAR: Yeah, like leaving all the paper shreds blowing all over the street for the next week for the rest of us to clean up.
  • Never throw fireworks at another person.  ***MARLAR: You may end up getting a more explosive reaction than you’re ready to deal with!
  • Never carry fireworks in your pocket.  ***MARLAR: That’s where the term “hot seat” came from!
  • OBEY ALL LOCAL LAWS REGARDING FIREWORKS! IF THEY ARE ILLEGAL IN YOUR AREA – DON’T USE THEM!!! IT’S NOT WORTH THE TICKET, THE FINE, THE COURT DATE, OR THE POTENTIAL DAMAGE TO YOU AND/OR YOUR NEIGHBORS AND YOUR PROPERTIES!

 

 

FUN LIST

FUEL SAVING TIPS FOR THE 4th OF JULY WEEKEND

  • Visit friends and relatives in Oklahoma and stay there, because they have the cheapest gas in the country.
  • Have your license revoked and make someone else drive you around in their own car for the weekend.
  • Become an agoraphobic and don’t leave the house at all.
  • Marry a sheik.  You’ll still have high gas prices, but you won’t care anymore.
  • Sell your car and buy a skateboard.
  • Learn some ‘Safe Siphoning’ tips.
  • Quit your job so you don’t have to drive back to work on Monday.

 

 

MORE SHOW PREP STUFF…

HIGHWAY SAFETY


  1. Buckle seat belts, observe speed limits.
  2. Do not drink and drive.
  3. Pay full attention to the road – don’t use a cell phone to call or text.
  4. Use caution in work zones.

5, Clean the vehicle’s lights and windows to help the driver see.

 

FIREWORKS SAFETY


  1. Never give fireworks to small children, and always follow the instructions on the packaging.
  2. Keep a supply of water close by as a precaution.
  3. Make sure the person lighting fireworks always wears eye protection.
  4. Light only one firework at a time and never attempt to relight “a dud.”
  5. Never throw or point a firework toward people, animals, vehicles, structures or flammable materials.

 

GRILLING SAFETY


  1. Always supervise a barbecue grill when in use.
  2. Never grill indoors – not in the house, camper, tent, or any enclosed area.
  3. Make sure everyone, including the pets, stays away from the grill.
  4. Keep the grill out in the open, away from the house, the deck, tree branches, or anything that could catch fire.
  5. Use the long-handled tools especially made for cooking on the grill to keep the chef safe.

 

Wall Builders Fourth of July Quiz:


  1. True or False: The Declaration of Independence was signed by the 56 signers on July 4, 1776.
  2. True or False. The 56 men who voted for the Declaration were the ones to sign that document.
  3. Which signer of the Declaration spent months rarely sleeping two nights in the same place in order to avoid the British, who were seeking for him, to punish him for having signed the Declaration?
  4. True or False. The Signing of the Declaration was commemorated for decades by sermons and orations delivered across the nation on July 4th.
  5. Which Founding Father would be considered the penman of the Declaration?
  6. The bell that was rung after the Declaration was approved on July 8th later became known by what title? Why did it receive that title, and when?

 

ANSWERS

  1. False – Only John Hancock and Charles Thompson signed the Declaration of Independence on July 4th. The copy with which we are familiar today, bearing the signatures of the 56 famous Founding Fathers who inscribed that document, was signed on August 2, 1776. (For additional information, see David Barton’s “4th of July Article.”)
  2. False – Although the majority of the Founding Fathers who voted for the Declaration also signed it, there were some who voted for the Declaration but were called home to serve their state before they could sign it (such as Robert Livingston and George Clinton of New York) and some who were not in Congress when it was voted for, but arrived in time to sign the Declaration (such as Benjamin Rush and James Wilson of Pennsylvania, who replaced delegates who had voted against the Declaration). (To learn more about Dr. Benjamin Rush, see David Barton’s book Benjamin Rush.)
  3. John Hart
  4. True.
  5. There were five Founding Fathers on the committee to write the Declaration, but Thomas Jefferson is responsible for nearly all of its content
  6. The Liberty Bell — although it was not called that until decades later, when it became an important symbol for the abolition movement, especially because of the Bible verse emblazoned around its top, Leviticus 25:10: “Proclaim liberty throughout the land to all the inhabitants thereof”

 

 

TOTALLY OUTRAGEOUS!

(Mondays Only)

 

 

THE WAY WE WORK

(Wednesdays only; The Way WE Work is written by Mark Elfstrand from 1160Hope.com in Chicago.)

 

 

OTHER STUFF I WANT TO CRAM INTO TODAY’S PREP

(None On The Weekends)

 

You can’t help but feel patriotic after jamming to this!

 

The proper use of a firecracker roll.

 

 

MORE “USA INDEPENDENCE DAY” SHOW PREP STUFF…

FLAG ETIQUETTE

Here are some tips to make sure your tribute is a respectful one:

  • Display the flag only between sunrise and sunset on buildings and stationary flagstaffs. The flag may be displayed for twenty-four hours if illuminated in darkness.
  • Do not display the flag in inclement weather.
  • Whether displaying the flag vertically or horizontally, make sure the canton of stars is visible on the upper left-hand side.
  • Do not let the flag touch the ground.
  • An unusable flag that is damaged and worn and can no longer be displayed should be destroyed in a dignified way by first separating the stars from the stripes using knife or scissors, and then burning (the separation of the stars and stripes means it ceases to be a flag, at which point burning is acceptable).
  • If the flag is flown upside down it signals distress. It means “I need help, I’m in trouble”.
  • When flown at half-staff, the flag is raised to the top of the flagpole then lowered to half-staff. When taken down, the flag is again raised to the top and then brought down.
  • When not on display, the flag should be respectfully folded into a triangle, symbolizing the tricorn hats worn by colonial soldiers in the Revolutionary War.

 

 

FLAG FACTS

  • Betsy Ross only sewed the first American flag. It is not clear who actually designed it, but the experts at the Betsy Ross House suggest it was Francis Hopkinson, a New Jersey delegate to the Continental Congress and a signer of the Declaration of Independence.
  • The flag has 13 stripes representing the original 13 colonies (7 red and 6 white). In the upper left corner is a navy blue field with 50 white stars that represents the states.
  • There is no official designation or meaning for the colors of the flag.
  • There is no record stating why red, white, and blue where chosen for the flag. (However, when the Great Seal of the United States was chosen this is what was listed for them: “white for purity and innocence, red for valor and hardiness, blue for vigilance, perseverance, and justice.”)
  • Folktales says that George Washington interpreted the flag in this way: the stars were taken from the sky, the red from the British colors, and the white stripes signified the secession from the home country.

 

 

BALD EAGLE FACTS

  • Bald eagles have few natural enemies & live only in North America.
  • Bald eagles get their white head & tail feathers about 4-5 years of age.
  • The only other kind of eagle in North America is the golden eagle.
  • Bald eagles mate for life, but if one dies, the survivor will accept a new mate.
  • It is a felony to shoot an eagle.

 

 

 

PATRIOTIC LOCATIONS

There are thirty places nationwide with “liberty” in their name. The most populous one is Liberty, Missouri (26,232). Iowa has more of these places than any other state: four (Libertyville, New Liberty, North Liberty and West Liberty).

Eleven places have “independence” in their name. The most populous of these is Independence, Missouri, with 113,288 residents.

Five places adopted the name “freedom.” Freedom, California, with 6,000 residents, has the largest population among these.

There is one place named “patriot” — Patriot, Indiana, with a population of 202.

And what could be more fitting than spending the day in a place called “America”? There are five such places in the country, with the most populous being American Fork, Utah, with 21,941 residents.

 

 

WHY THE AMERICAN FLAG IS FOLDED THIRTEEN TIMES

Have you ever wondered why the flag of the United States of America is folded 13 times when it is lowered or when it is folded and handed to the widow at the burial of a veteran? Here is the meaning of each of those folds and what it means to you.

The ‘first fold’ of our flag is a symbol of life.

The ‘second fold’ is a symbol of our belief in eternal life.

The ‘third fold’ is made in honor and remembrance of the veterans departing our ranks who gave a portion of their lives for the defense of our country to attain peace throughout the world.

The ‘fourth fold’ represents our weaker nature, for as American citizens trusting in God, it is to Him we turn in times of peace as well as in time of war for His divine guidance.

The ‘fifth fold’ is a tribute to our country, for in the words of Stephen Decatur, “Our Country, in dealing with other countries may she always be right; but it is still our country, right or wrong.”

The ‘sixth fold’ is for where our hearts lie. It is with our heart that we pledge allegiance to the flag of the United States Of America, and to the Republic for which it stands, one Nation under God, indivisible, with Liberty and Justice for all.

The ‘seventh fold’ is a tribute to our Armed Forces, for it is through the Armed Forces that we protect our country and our flag against all her enemies, whether they be found within or without the boundaries of our republic.

The ‘eighth fold’ is a tribute to the one who entered into the valley of the shadow of death, that we might see the light of day, and to honor mother, for whom it flies on Mother’s Day.

The ‘ninth fold’ is a tribute to womanhood; for it has been through their faith, their love, loyalty and devotion that the character of the men and women who have made this country great has been molded.

The ‘tenth fold’ is a tribute to the father, for he, too, has given his sons and daughters for the defense of our country since they were first born.

The ‘eleventh fold’, in the eyes of a Hebrew citizen represents the lower portion of the seal of King David and King Solomon, and glorifies in their eyes, the God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob.

The ‘twelfth fold’, in the eyes of a Christian citizen, represents an emblem of eternity and glorifies, in their eyes, God the Father, the Son, and Holy Spirit.

When the flag is completely folded, the stars are uppermost reminding us of our nation’s motto, “In God We Trust”.

After the flag is completely folded and tucked in, it takes on the appearance of a cocked hat, ever reminding us of the soldiers who served under General George Washington, and the sailors and Marines who served under Captain John Paul Jones, who were followed by their comrades and shipmates in the Armed Forces of the United States, preserving for us the rights, privileges, and freedoms we enjoy today.

The next time you see a flag ceremony honoring someone that has served our country, either in the Armed Forces or in our civilian services such as the Police Force or Fire Department, keep in mind all the important reasons behind each and every movement. They have paid the ultimate sacrifice for all of us by honoring our flag and our Country.

 

 

FOURTH OF JULY QUIZ

  1. The Fourth of July is a celebration of:
  • America’s Independence from the British
  • Freedom in the world’s oldest democracy
  • Watching idiot rednecks blow their fingers off with firecrackers.

 

  1. Many cities have parades on the Fourth of July, where:
  • Military honor guards proudly present the colors of our country
  • High school brass bands play popular tunes and patriotic marches
  • People ride on floats without wearing sunscreen and get really painful sunburns

 

  1. Another Fourth of July tradition is the family picnic where:
  • Americans grill out burgers and hot dogs
  • Children play outdoor games like volleyball and baseball
  • People eat the potato salad that has sat out in the sun for a few hours, and then they spend the rest of the day blowing chunks.

 

  1. The evening is reserved for Fireworks displays where:
  • Americans celebrate freedom with colorful, bright displays
  • People look up in the sky saying “ooh,” and “aah!”
  • Some folks are still blowing chunks from the bad potato salad.

 

  1. The celebration of freedom and independence reminds us of our forefathers back on July 4, 1776, when they:
  • Took up arms against an oppressive British Crown
  • Formally declared the 13 colonies free and independent of the British Crown
  • Ate potato salad sitting out in the sun and watched idiot rednecks blow their fingers off with fireworks.

 

  1. Like Memorial Day and Veterans Day, the 4th of July is an opportunity to recognize those who fought and died for our freedoms. As responsible citizens, we need to:
  • Explain the importance of this to our children
  • Explain the importance of this to newcomers to our country
  • Explain the importance of this to Michael Moore.

 

  1. An enduring image of the Revolution is Valley Forge, where underfed, ill-clothed troops braved a bitter winter. We remember Valley Forge as a moment when:
  • George Washington prayed for relief for his men
  • Benjamin Franklin and Thomas Jefferson begged Congress to re-supply the troops
  • Bob Dole wrote home for long underwear and chocolate chip cookies

 

  1. What 4th of July would be complete without fireworks? We love to see fireworks displays because:
  • It’s a fitting end to an exhilarating day of patriotism
  • It recalls the rocket’s red glare we sing about in our national anthem
  • Aw, heck – we just love watchin’ stuff blow up!

 

  1. On the 4th, we celebrate our independence from England. Had we not become independent:
  • We wouldn’t be the world leader we our today
  • Other nations wouldn’t have followed our example and thrown off the yokes of colonial oppression
  • The British Royal Family would be our problem

 

 

AND I LEAVE YOU WITH THIS THOUGHT

The 4th of July, when we stop to commemorate our nation’s heritage, and celebrate our inalienable right to life, liberty, and the pursuit of the perfect used car deal.

 

 

THE TICKET Movie Reviews with MARIE ASNER

Marie Asner has been reviewing films for over 30 years. Her outlets include radio, print and Internet. For more in-depth movie reviews of the following films, visit www.Tollbooth.org. Ratings from 1 (Low) to 5 (High).

 

JULY 01, 2015…

 

Terminator Genisys—This update to the “Terminator” film series goes between three time periods and has Emilia Clarke (“Game of Thrones”) as Sarah Connor with Jai Courtney (“Child 44”) as Kyle Reese. Yes, and Arnold Schwarzenegger is also in the film along with Jason Clarke. The human race still needs saving and robots are still there. “Terminator Genisys” is rated PG 13. Rating of 3 for fans. He’s back.

 

Magic Mike XXL—This July 4th weekend has something for everyone. Science fiction fans and fans of guys who dance in bars. Here comes a sequel to Channing Tatum’s “Magic Mike”  Time has passed and the guys are headed to a strip convention in South Carolina. Jada Pinkett Smith (“Gotham”) owns a strip club  and Michael Strahan works for her. The cast includes Matt Bormer and Joe Manganiello. “Magic Mike XXL” is rated a definite R. Rating of 3 for fans and you know who are.

 

JULY 10, 2015…

 

Self/Less is a science fiction thriller starring Ryan Reynolds and Ben Kingsley about mind transplant..

 

The Bronze (opening in select cities) is a comedy with Melissa Rauch (“Big Bang Theory”) and Gary Cole.

 

Minions (at last!) is an animated film about the little characters from the “Despicable Me” films. Much cuteness.One of the voices is Sandra Bullock.

 

Jimmy’s Hall (opening in select cities) is an Irish drama about a verdict without a trial.

 

The Gallows is a story about a haunting in a school. It’s horror film time again.

 

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