July 22, 2017: Saturday ONAIRprep

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WELCOME TO THE SHOW!

If I sound sleepy it’s because I was up late last night. A UFO landed in my back yard.  An extraterrestrial got out and accidentally locked his keys inside.  He woke me up to ask if I had a coat hanger.

BIBLE VERSE OF THE DAY

“Your beauty should not come from outward adornment…instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight.”  –1 Peter 3:3-4

If we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus, his Son, purifies us from all sin. — 1 John 1:7

The people served the LORD throughout the lifetime of Joshua and of the elders who outlived him and who had seen all the great things the LORD had done for Israel. — Judges 2:7

HEARTLIGHT DAILY VERSE, PRAYER & THOUGHT

(From VerseOfTheDay.com)

But thanks be to God that, though you used to be slaves to sin, you wholeheartedly obeyed the form of teaching to which you were entrusted. — Romans 6:17

Thought: Paul stresses in Romans 6 that obedience to the will of God does not mean we are being manipulated or put under a bunch of arbitrary rules or formal laws. No, obedience of our grace-filled God is liberation — liberation from the bondage of sin and the certainty of death, liberation from the haunting memories of sin and its effects, as well as liberation to be the people we were created to be!

Prayer: Heavenly Father, my head understands that being obedient to your will is a blessing and not a restriction. I know you have given me your truth to protect and save me. Forgive me for sometimes doubting and looking elsewhere for the joy and delight that only you provide. In Jesus’ name I pray. Amen.

The Thoughts and Prayers for Today’s Verse are written by Phil Ware. You can email questions or comments to phil@heartlight.org.

BIRTHDAY VERSE” OF THE DAY (The chapter and verse correspond to the month and day!)

Matthew 7:21 NIV = “Not everyone who says to me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only he who does the will of my Father who is in heaven.

TODAY IS SATURDAY – JULY 22, 2017

(NOTE: Some holidays may be duplicated due to various calendars reporting conflicting dates)
WEIRD, WACKY, STRANGE, ZANY, ODD, BIZARRE, QUIRKY, UNUSUAL HOLIDAYS!
THERE ARE ONLY
155 SHOPPING DAYS UNTIL CHRISTMAS.

Today is INTERNATIONAL CHILDBIRTH AWARENESS DAY. ***Okay, raise your hands if you think you might need to be made aware that you’re experiencing childbirth.

In SAN FRANCISCO IT’S PREPAREDNESS DAY. ***Possibly to prepare Rice-a-Roni – the San Francisco treat?

Today is HURRICANE SUPPLICATION DAY IN THE VIRGIN ISLANDS. ***Be sure to get in line and get your supply of hurricanes before they’re all gone!

Today is NATIONAL SQUIRT A PIGEON DAY.  ***It’s payback for them squirting our cars the rest of the year.

TODAY IS ALSO…

Casual Pi Day
Fragile X Awareness Day
National Day of the Cowboy
National Penuche Fudge Day
Rat-catchers Day
Spooners (Spoonerism) Day

COMING UP NEXT (Just a list, we are not endorsing the holidays posted below. Find more holidays and link to their websites at BrownieLocks.com)

SUNDAY, JULY 23

Aunties Day
Gorgeous Grandma Day
Hot Enough For Ya Day
Parents’ Day

MONDAY, JULY 24

Cousins Day
National Drive-Thru Day
National Tequila Day
National Thermal Engineers Day
Tell An Old Joke Day

TUESDAY, JULY 25

Carousel Day or Merry-Go-Round Day
Hire A Veteran Day
Red Shoe Day
Thread The Needle Day
Video Games Day

WEDNESDAY, JULY 26

Americans With Disabilities Day
Aunts and Uncles Day
Bagelfest Day
One Voice

THURSDAY, JULY 27

Barbie-in-a-blender Day
National Chili Dog Day
National Korean War Veterans Armistice Day
Take Your Houseplant For A Walk Day
National Intern Day
National Refreshment Day
Walk on Stilts Day

FRIDAY, JULY 28

Buffalo Soldiers Day
Lumberjack Day
National Milk Chocolate Day
National Get Narly Day
National Talk in An Elevator Day
World Hepatitis Day

SATURDAY, JULY 29

Army Chaplain Corps Anniversary:
International Chicken Wing Day
Lasagna Day
National Chicken Wing Day
National Dance Day
National Lipstick Day
Rain Day
System Administrator Appreciation Day

SUNDAY, JULY 30

Cheesecake Day
Father-In-Law Day
Friendship Day
Health Care Now!  Medicare’s Birthday
International Day of Friendship
National Chicken and Waffles Day
National Support Public Education Day
Paddle for Perthes Disease Awareness Day
Paperback Book Day
World Day Against Trafficking in Persons

MONDAY, JULY 31

National Mutt Day
Uncommon Instruments Awareness Day
World Ranger Day

ON THIS DAY

1940: Thomas Wayne Perkins was born. He and Elvis attended the same high school in Memphis. His brother Luther played guitar for Johnny Cash. In 1959 Thomas Wayne had one hit record: “Tragedy.” He died in 1971 at age 31.

1963: Vee-Jay Records released an album entitled Introducing the Beatles.

1976: General Robert E. Lee became a U.S. citizen. The paper work had been bogged down for 110 years.

1985: Cleveland fans gobbled up 70,000 tickets in less than three hours to see Bruce Springsteen in concert.

1989: At 10:00am John Nowbilski and Don Gliha completed their 536th hole of golf in 24 hours at Tallwood Country Club in Manchester, Connecticut. They averaged 2 minutes 40 seconds per hole. ***536 holes… that’s usually the number of strokes it takes me to finish a golf course. (Yeah, I’m that bad.)

1992: Bandits apparently spent all night cutting through a wall of Lloyds Bank in Hampshire, England, only to find the building was empty. The bank had been closed for four years. ***Masterful! It’s the perfect plan! After all, who would ever suspect a break in at a bank that didn’t have any money? Genius!

1993: Actress Michelle Pfeiffer became the world’s top paid actress when she accepted the offer of $12 million to play Catwoman in a spin-off movie about Batman’s evil opponent.

1994: In a Los Angeles courtroom O.J. Simpson pleaded “absolutely 100% not guilty” to two murder charges.

1995: Singer Shania Twain had her first #1 hit as “Any Man of Mine” topped the Billboard country music chart.

2001: A 30-year-old New Dehli man won a place in the Limca Book of Records, the equivalent of the Guinness Book of Record for India, by standing still for 24 hours and one minute. The previous record was 18 hours.

2001: A 27-year-old South African burglar was arrested after he broke into a library where the local policeman was discussing crime statistics. Carrying boxes and computer disks, the suspect was grabbed by security staff while the officer was discussing crime statistics.

2003: U.S. forces stormed a villa and killed Saddam Hussein’s sons Odai and Qusai in Mosul, Iraq.

2006: The head of NATO’s international security force in Afghanistan said that country was “close to anarchy” and that Western military forces were “running out of time.”

2013: The Iowa Supreme Court had ruled that a dentist acted legally when he fired an assistant because he found her too attractive. Melissa Nelson, who was 33 at the time, had worked for James Knight for a decade. She was fired in 2010 after Knight, who is married, felt she was too attractive and was worried he would have an affair with her. ***She worked for the guy for ten years before this though – so she was ugly in her 20’s?

TODAY IN CHRISTIAN HISTORY

1604: King James and Bishop Bancroft worked out a set of 14 instructions to the translators of the King James version of the Bible on this date. The instructions were designed to ensure that, despite the variety of views among the translators, the forth-coming work would be a Protestant Bible and the Bible names be “retained as near as may be” to the original. It was requested that when the translators had completed work on their assigned sections, that they should confer together on what had been done. The King James Version is often referred to as the most successful work ever done by a committee.

1620: Led by John Robinson, a group of English Separatists who had fled Holland in 1607 sail for England, where they would board the Mayflower.

1680: Madame Guyon claims to have achieved a union with Christ this day. Her mysticism inspired the famous Francois Fenelon to seek a deeper spirituality. Her writings breathe passion for Christ. She was eventually imprisoned by the Catholic church.

1822: Gregor Mendel, the Austrian monk and botanist who discovered the basic laws of genetic inheritance, is born.

BIRTHDAY RAP-UP

  • actress (Final Destination 2, “Criminal Minds”) A.J. Cook 39 (audio clip)

  • actor (Lieutenant Bud J. Roberts, Jr. on “JAG,” Andrew Garvey on “Little House on the Prairie”) Pat Labyorteaux 52 (audio clip)

  • Actor/comedian (“Saturday Night Live,” Joe Dirt, “Just Shoot Me”) David Spade 53 (audio clip)

  • AND… actor/comedian (Assault on Precinct 13, Ice Age, “ER,” Spawn) John Leguizamo, 53 (audio clip)

  • actress (Runaway Jury, Inventing the Abbots, “Dark Shadows”) Joanna Going 54 (audio clip)

  • Actor (“Melrose Place’s” Kyle) Rob Estes, 54 (audio clip)

  • Actor (Spider-Man, The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou, Patriot Games) Willem Dafoe, 62

  • actor (Lethal Weapon movies, Predator 2, Silverado) Danny Glover  70

  • AND… actor/comedian (Broadcast News, The In-Laws) Albert Brooks, 70

  • TV host (“Jeopardy”) Alex Trebek 77 (audio clip)

  • Actor (General Zod in the Christopher Reeve Superman movie) Terence Stamp, 78

BEE-BOP BIRTHDAYS

(Music Artist Birthdays From SongFacts.com)

1924 : Margaret Whiting

1937 : Chuck Jackson

1940 : George Clinton (Parliament/Funkadelic)

1941 : Thomas Wayne

1943 : Bobby Sherman

1944 : Estelle Bennett (The Ronettes)

1944 : Rick Davies (Supertramp)

1947 : Don Henley (Eagles)

1961 : Keith Sweat

1963 : Emily Sailers (Indigo Girls)

1967 : Pat Badger (Extreme)

1973 : Rufus Wainwright

1973 : Daniel Jones (Savage Garden)

SECRETS OF THE UNIVERSE (Answering questions that have plagued mankind for minutes!)

So, quicksand… is it really all that dangerous? Should we avoid it at all costs or risk losing our lives?

Despite what all the low budget Tarzan and horror movies would have you believe, quicksand doesn’t really suck you into the earth. Quicksand is nothing more than a blend of light sand and water, or sometimes mud peppered with pebbles. Water injects itself into the grains of sand or pebbles which separates and lifts them, causing them to tumble over one another. However, since quicksand is saturated with liquid, and far outweighs water, it allows anything or anyone who steps into it, to float on top of it. The key to swimming in quicksand is slow motion. By moving slowly, you give the quicksand the time necessary to flow around your body, thereby making swimming or floating possible.

NEWS KICKERS

(No news on the weekends. Want a customized audio version, FREE? Email me for more information! )

NEW NEWS KICKERS…

NEWS KICKER EVERGREENS…

AS THE JUNGLE TURNS

CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD MONDAY’S EPISODE

OPEN: And now, FancyMonkey.com, (Show Name), and (Station Call Letters) bring you As the Jungle Turns! Last time, Gruffy Bear had to cancel the checkers game with Sully the Aardvark to help a grizzly bear named Grizz find his way to a bowling alley. Apparently, Grizz was heading there to forfeit the bowling tournament that was supposed to take place that night because they didn’t have enough bowlers.

CLOSE: Will Gruffy do the right thing and play checkers with Sully as he promised? But then, he also promised Grizz that he’d help the bowling team! What will Gruffy do… what will Sully do… what will the bowling team do? Find out next time, As the Jungle Turns!

***You may simulcast “As the Jungle Turns” on the Internet stream of your live broadcast only. Any other Internet use of “As the Jungle Turns” in whole or part including podcasting of your live broadcast is a violation of copyright law. Thank you for your cooperation on this vitally important issue. If you have any questions, please e-mail us and ask about “Jungle Jam & Friends the Radio Show” usage.

MOMENT OF DUH

A ticking package explodes into a Moment of Duh!

A ticking alarm clock gave bomb squad police a wake-up call in Wichita, Kansas. The city’s bomb squad was called out to an apartment complex at 2 a.m. when neighbors heard something ticking inside a mailbox. The feared bomb turned out to be an alarm clock sent as a gift to an apartment resident, police said.

TOP TEN

TOP TEN SIGNS YOU ARE BROKE

1. American Express calls and says: “Leave home without it!”

2. You’re formulating a plan to rob the food bank.

3. Long distance companies no longer call you to switch.

4. You see your roommate as a large fried chicken in tennis shoes.

5. You receive care packages from Europe.

6. Your bologna has no first name.

7. You rob Peter…and then rob Paul.

8. You finally clean your house, hoping to find change.

9. You give blood everyday – for the orange juice.

10. McDonalds supplies you with all your kitchen condiments.

THE FILES OF LAW & DISORDER

Crime doesn’t pay – even if you commit that crime trying to get to the courthouse!

FILE #1: The files of Law & Disorder take us to Union City, New Jersey where Troy Harris needed to be in court to face sentencing for auto theft. Unfortunately, he had no way of getting to court, so he had to improvise. And how would a car thief improvise in finding a way to get to court? You got it – he stole another car. He drove the stolen car to the courthouse but a tipster called the cops to alert them and he was arrested when he arrived. He won’t be stealing any more cars for a while-he got six months in jail for the first offense and is awaiting trial on the new charge.

FILE #2: Police officers in two cars fired more than 20 rounds at each other after mistaking each other’s vehicles for a stolen patrol car. Nobody was hurt. It happened Tuesday when a bicycle patrol officer in downtown Seattle reported seeing a stolen patrol vehicle. A police car pursued it, but lost sight of the stolen vehicle after stopping briefly at an intersection to check for other vehicles. That’s when the other police car pulled up and, mistaking it for the stolen police car, rammed it. The officers inside thought they were being attacked and started firing. Three officers — two in one car and one in the other — fired more than 20 rounds before they discovered the error.

FILE #3: Recently, a Los Angeles robbery suspect was put in a lineup and asked to repeat the words, “Give me all your money or I’ll shoot.” When asked to repeat it he said, “That’s not what I said.”

STRANGE LAW: It is illegal to tie a giraffe to a telephone pole in Atlanta, GA.

THIS IS YOUR BRAIN ON DRUGS

Each day at this time I talk about people doing dumb things under the influence, but addiction is no laughing matter. If you or someone you know needs help, there’s a toll free number you can call 1-800-438-0380. That’s the Addiction Hope and Help Line at 1-800-438-0380.

A brain on drugs causes a terrible first day on the job for one police officer.

An officer’s squad car in Hobart, Indiana, was nearly totaled in a crash less than 30 minutes into his first day on the police force. Officer Tim Pochron was inside his house early Monday when someone smashed into his new squad car parked outside. He was 29 minutes into the first day of his new job when a man drove his car into a tree and Pochron’s parked car, police said. The man tested positive for drugs, was arrested and taken to a hospital. The force of the collision bent the rear axle of the squad car. Pochron spent the rest of his first day filling out paperwork at the station.

PHONER PHUN

Who has a great phone message? Call in and give us your number so we can call back and hear your outgoing answering machine message!

BIBLE BRAIN BUSTER!

QUESTION: Who was Abraham’s second wife?

ANSWER: Keturah (Genesis 25:1)

QUESTION IMPOSSIBLE

QUESTION: What record album was the first ever to be taken directly from a films musical soundtrack?  


ANSWER; Walt Disney’s “Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs”, in 1937.

TRUE OR FALSE

Pay attention! If our next player doesn’t answer all ten T/F questions correctly we start all over from question #1! First person to answer question #10 correctly is our winner!

1. The science-fiction TV series “Lost in Space” supposedly took place in the year 1997. (True – and the show premiered on CBS in 1965.)

2. The term karaoke means “empty talent” in Japanese. (False – it means “empty orchestra”, and the karaoke machine was designed originally to provide backing tracks for solo cabaret performers.

3. The title role of Dirty Harry, 1971, was originally intended for Paul Newman. (False – it was written for Frank Sinatra. After he refused, it was offered to John Wayne, and then Paul Newman, finally being accepted by Clint Eastwood.)

4. The Wizard of Oz was a Broadway musical 37 years before the MGM movie version was made. (True. It had 293 performances and then went on a tour that lasted 9 years.)

5. There are seven points on the collar around Kermit the Frog’s neck. (False – eleven.)

6. When Bugs Bunny first appeared in 1935, he was called Go-Lucky Bunny. (False – Happy Rabbit)

7. Our eyes are always the same size from birth. (True, but our nose and ears never stop growing)

8. The Statue of Liberty’s tablet is two feet thick. (True)

9. The slogan on New Hampshire license plates is ‘Live Free or Die’. (True. Ironically, these license plates are manufactured by prisoners in the state prison in Concord.)

10. During filming, David Prowse was the guy in the Darth Vader suit in Star Wars, plus he spoke all of Vader’s lines. (True. However, what he did not know that he was going to be dubbed over by James Earl Jones until he saw the screening of the movie.)

TABLOID MATCH GAME

You have to match the blank in the tabloid headline with the word or phrase that has been removed!

_____ QUITS MUSIC (JUSTIN BIEBER)

Justin Bieber has made his last record.  He wants out of the music business and will only focus on film, TV  and perfume from now on. Justin Bieber will make a major announcement to his fans on Monday.  He is tired of touring and making records.  He is hanging up his drumsticks, his guitar, his microphone.  His perfume, “Someday” is a smash hit and Justin feels that he should focus more on perfume and a new clothing line for teen girls, rather than music.

He’s done it all already in music,” said Bieber’s manager, Scooter Braun, “Justin is tired.  He wants to expand into other areas.  He has a TV series that he is developing with HBO, he’s got 3 to 4 new films in development and he’s thinking of buying Starbucks.  The Biebs loves his frappuccino.”

THE WAY TOO EARLY IN THE MORNING TO UNDERSTAND THE PUNCHLINE EVEN AFTER TWO CUPS OF COFFEE JOKE OF THE DAY 

JOKE #1

A young woman wasn’t feeling well, and asked one her co-workers to recommend a physician. “I know a great one in the city, but he is very expensive. Five hundred dollars for the first visit, and one hundred dollars for each one after that.”
The woman went to the doctor’s office and, trying to save a little money, cheerily announced. “I’m back!”
Not fooled for a second, the doctor quickly examined her and said, “Very good, just continue the treatment I prescribed on your last visit.”

JOKE #2

The personnel manager was impressing the applicant with the prospective job.  “We make parts for microscopes.  You’ll be required to work with lenses that are ten-thousandths of an inch thick.”

“I can handle it,” the applicant said, “I used to slice meat in a delicatessen.”

JOKE #3

In Pennsylvania Station in New york the gateman was having difficulty with a pair of soldiers. Hearing the commotion, a young lieutenant hastened to the scene.
”What’s the matter here?” he asked.
”These two soldiers,” complained the railroad employee, “insist on going through the gate without tickets.”
”I’ll handle this, said officer. Turning to the soldiers, he commanded, “Forward march!” he led them through the gate and onto the train. “All right,” he advised the G.I’s, “at ease!”
”Say, Lieutenant, thanks a lot,” said one of the soldiers.
He shrugged, “Don’t mention it. I don’t have a ticket either.

USELESS FACTS

There are more than 1,000 chemicals in a cup of coffee. Of these, less than 100 have been tested, and approximately 14 chemicals so far have caused cancer in rats.  ***Sure glad I’m not a rodent.

According to Money.com, about 15% of us say cowboy boots are their favorite place to hide money.  ***Which is a real challenge for those of us who don’t own boots.

FEATURED FUNNIES

THRU A CHILD’S EYES

It was late at night and Heidi, who was expecting her second child, was home alone with her 3 year old daughter, Katelyn. Heidi started to go into labor and called 911. Due to a power outage at the time, only one paramedic was able to respond to the call. The house was very, very dark, so the paramedic asked Katelyn to hold a flashlight high over her mommy so he could see while he helped deliver the baby. Very diligently, Katelyn did as she was asked. Heidi pushed and pushed, and after a little while Connor was born. The paramedic lifted him by his feet, and spanked him on his bottom. Connor began to cry. The paramedic then thanked Katelyn for her help, and asked the wide-eyed 3 year old Katelyn what she thought about what she had just witnessed. Katelyn quickly responded, “He shouldn’t have crawled in there in the first place. Spank him again.”

IT MUST BE TRUE BECAUSE I HEARD IT ON THE RADIO!

When you make your dinner reservations, you might want to avoid THIS restaurant: the Chez Ventre in Paris, France.

This trendy cafe uses the stomachs of extremely fat men as tables. The couples sit cross legged on either side of 350 pound men who lie on their backs with their bellies covered by tablecloths. The human tables have never caused food or drinks to be spilled. And of course, at Chez Ventre it is not only proper to tip the waiter, but to tip the table as well. ***MARLAR: It’s a great deal for the table guys, they eat for free using the five-second rule.

INSPIRATIONAL INSPIRATION

MEMO FROM GOD
To: YOU
Date: TODAY
From: THE BOSS
Subject: YOURSELF
Reference: LIFE

I am God.
Today I will be handling all of your problems. Please remember that I do not need your help.

If life happens to deliver a situation to you that you cannot handle, do not attempt to resolve it. Kindly put it in the SFGTD (something for God to do) box. All situations will be resolved… but in My time, not yours.

Once the matter is placed into the box, do not hold onto it by worrying about it. Instead, focus on all the wonderful things that are present in your life now.

If you find yourself stuck in traffic; Don’t despair. There are people in this world for whom driving is an unheard of privilege.

Should you have a bad day at work; Think of the man who has been out of work for years.

Should you despair over a relationship gone bad; Think of the person who has never known what it’s like to love and be loved in return.

Should you grieve the passing of another weekend; Think of the woman in dire straits, working twelve hours a day, seven days a week to feed her children.

Should your car break down, leaving you miles away from assistance; Think of the paraplegic who would love the opportunity to take that walk.

Should you notice a new gray hair in the mirror; Think of the cancer patient in chemo who wishes she had hair to examine.

Should you find yourself at a loss and pondering what is life all about, asking what is my purpose? Be thankful. There are those who didn’t live long enough to get the opportunity.

Should you find yourself the victim of other people’s bitterness, ignorance, smallness or insecurities; Remember, things could be worse. You could be one of them!

DRIVE TIME DEVOTIONAL

NO SALE

Read: Acts 8:9-25

Peter said to him, “Your money perish with you, because you thought that the gift of God could be purchased with money!” —Acts 8:20

Police officers in St. Louis have had at least one easy arrest. It occurred at the back door of the police station when a drunk driver pulled his car right up to the booking window, thinking he was at Burger King. After attempting to place his order at what he thought was a drive-up window, the surprised driver was arrested by the booking officer and charged with drunk driving.

A man named Simon also got the surprise of his life. According to Acts 8, he was a former sorcerer in Samaria before becoming a follower of Christ. His surprise came when he walked up to the apostles and offered them money. He wanted them to give him the power to lay hands on people and impart to them the Holy Spirit. The apostle Peter emphatically refused, and accused him of being under the influence of something worse than alcohol.

Peter wasn’t overreacting. It’s dangerous to think that the power of the Holy Spirit is like a product that can be bought and sold. The Spirit’s work is a gift of God that is freely given on the basis of faith, and faith alone. He has given us His Spirit to accomplish His purposes, not ours. The Spirit cannot be bought or bargained for.

Thank You, Lord, for the gift of Your Spirit. —Mart De Haan

Holy Spirit, all divine,
Dwell within this heart of mine;
Cast down every idol throne,
Reign supreme and reign alone. —Reed

We don’t need more of the Spirit; the Spirit needs more of us.

LEFTOVERS

NO BUSINESS LIKE SHOE BUSINESS

Needing brake shoes is one thing… using shoes as your brakes is something entirely different!
An airport worker stopped a jet from crossing a busy road in Israel recently after its brakes failed by jamming his shoe under its wheels. Wisely, his foot wasn’t in the shoe at the time. Michaelov Abrosh averted a potential disaster by using his shoe to stop the 100-ton Lithuanian Airlines Boeing 737 jet carrying 130 people at Tel Aviv’s Ben Gurion airport. Abrosh yelled to the pilot in Russian to step on the brakes, but the driver yelled back that the brakes were not working. Abrosh then took off his shoe and jammed it under the wheel to help stop the plane.  ***MARLAR: He’s considered to be a “shoe in” for employee of the month. (And co-workers are now calling him Fred Flintstone.)

LIFE… LIVE IT

PIMPLE PROBLEMS

If your face is as blemished as a politician’s record, here’s some advice on zits.

It estimated 80 percent of all people between the ages of 11 and 30 have skin problems and there is no sure cure. Pimples form when your tiny hair follicles get clogged, blocking the normal exit pathway for oil to escape to the surface of the skin. Cosmetics, drugs such as lithium, and genetics also contribute to the problem. Contrary to popular belief, scrubbing them can actually make things worse. Experts have found that cleaning twice a day is probably best. Go ahead and have a candy bar or a greasy burger – researchers found that diet has little to do with acne. They found that drinking milk may be a problem, but they’re not sure, but drinking lots of water won’t help. Ingredients in over-the-counter soaps and lotions that contain benzoyl peroxide and salycic acid and sulphur can help and dermatologists can prescribe antibiotics, although there is no miracle cure. However, don’t pick at them (yes, your mom is right) because you’ll almost always make it worse.

JUST FOR FUN

OH SAY CAN’T YOU SEE

Comfortable seats at a ball game are a good thing – but only if the seats are facing in the right direction!  One of England’s baseball stadiums is having difficulties learning that important fact.

Contractors working on a stadium in England apparently aren’t into watching sports themselves. In an attempt to increase Bradford City’s stadium’s capacity from 7,000 to 25,000, nine new executive boxes were being added to the stadium. After the first six were installed, someone noticed that they were all facing the parking lot instead of the inner part of the stadium. The good news for them is that they discovered the problem before any teams were scheduled to play in the stadium.  ***MARLAR: (Local baseball team) fans are actually requesting that their stadium’s seats be reconfigured this way. Watching the parking lot might be more exciting!

FUN LIST

SOUTHERN ADVICE
If you are from the northern states and planning on visiting or moving to the South, there are a few things you should know that will help you adapt to the difference in lifestyles:

  • If you run your car into a ditch, don’t panic. Four men in a four-wheel drive pickup truck with a tow chain will be along shortly. Don’t try to help them; just stay out of their way. This is what they live for.

  • Don’t be surprised to find movie rentals and bait in the same store. Don’t buy food at this store.

  • If you hear a Southerner exclaim, “Hey, y’all, watch this,” you should stay out of the way. These are likely to be the last words he’ll ever say.

  • Do not be surprised to find that 10-year-olds own their own shotguns, they are proficient marksmen, and their Mammas taught them how to aim.

MORE SHOW PREP STUFF…

SEND YOUR FINANCIAL GIFT TO. . .

Some Malaysian colleges may soon offer courses on how to keep public restrooms clean. A government official says the courses would involve managing washrooms by the highest standards in design and sanitation technology. Malaysia’s government recently said it wanted to start a “toilet revolution” in a country where public restrooms have long nauseated citizens and tourists with their lack of basic items such as toilet paper, soap and sometimes even toilet seats.  ***MARLAR: And now you know why we need money during our annual on-air fundraisers.

OTHER STUFF I WANT TO CRAM INTO TODAY’S PREP

Drinking tea as a senior citizen — especially those at higher risk of diseases like Alzheimer’s — could help prevent serious mental decline. Researchers at the National University of Singapore looked at 957 Chinese individuals who were 55 years of age or older in a longitudinal study. The study found that those who drank tea daily reduced their risk of cognitive decline by 50 percent. Participants who carried the gene associated with Alzheimer’s disease saw a diminished risk of cognitive impairment by up to 86 percent. This finding held regardless of the type of tea that one drank. As long as the tea leaves had been freshly brewed, consuming tea was found to help protect the brain.
http://www.breakingchristiannews.com/articles/display_art.html?ID=21120

Not all heroes wear capes. Some wear aprons and oven mitts. After Leo Kellner’s wife of 72 years died from complications related to dementia in 2012, the Hastings, Nebraska, man began baking desserts for people in need in his community. The 98 year old told Today “I didn’t know what to do with myself,” “I was moaning and moping, and I said, ‘I’ve got to have something to do,’ and that’s how it started.”
http://wmdy.us/rbCDN6z

Women who drink alcohol in their 50s live longer and healthier lives than their teetotaler friends. That’s the word from researchers at the Harvard School of Public Health, who determined that middle-aged women who drink alcohol in moderation have a better chance than nondrinkers of staying healthy as they age, reports Health.com. The study analyzed data from the Nurses’ Health Study, a long-running survey of 14,000 mostly white, registered nurses that began in 1976. They compared the women’s self-reported drinking at age 58 with their health status at age 70. Previous research has shown that moderate alcohol consumption can reduce inflammation, promote healthy cholesterol levels, improve insulin resistance and help blood vessels function properly.  ***Key word there is moderation.  Overdoing alcohol can cause liver and brain issues. Not to mention what it can do to your spirit and mind!

Look into a puppy’s sweet and beguiling eyes, and what happens? You melt all over, right? There is a reason for this: When you gaze into a puppy’s eyes, your body releases a surge of oxytocin, a hormone that leads to bonding, trust and altruism, according to researchers from Azabu University in Sagamihara, Japan. Oxytocin is the hormone that promotes maternal bonding, and the “oxytocin loop” between dogs and their owners was found to be comparable to that of a mother and her baby. When a mother stares into her newborn baby’s eyes, both of them experience an increase in oxytocin and that leads to feelings of bonding and love. The same thing appears to happen to humans and their dogs. The study found that among the dogs and owners who spent a lot of time gazing at each other, the dogs experienced a 130 percent rise in oxytocin levels during interaction with their owners, with oxytocin rising a huge 300 percent among owners during this time.

AND I LEAVE YOU WITH THIS THOUGHT

Opinions expressed during the show were not necessarily the opinions of this station, its management, or the boss’s bossy secretary who tells the boss what to think.

THE TICKET Movie Reviews with MARIE ASNER

Marie Asner has been reviewing films for over 35 years. Her outlets include radio, print and Internet. For more in-depth movie reviews of the following films, visit www.Tollbooth.org. Ratings from 1 (Low) to 5 (High).

JULY 21, 2017…

Dunkirk—Here comes one of the big war movies of the year. “Dunkirk” directed by Christopher Nolan and with cinematography by Hoyte Van Hoyterna (they had worked together on “Interstellar”), gives the audience the sensation of WWII, in the 1940’s and what it was like to have your back to the water’s edge and the enemy closing in. The evacuation of Dunkirk, France took almost 300,000 Allied soldiers, and with every means possible, brought them to Great Britain across the English Channel. You get the view from the ground, sea and the air. Massive undertaking. The stars of the film, Fionn Whitehead (new actor on the ground) and Tom Hardy (seasoned actor in a fighter plane) are the people to watch in the melee of activity. So, movie fans, fasten your seat belts and prepare for a rocky sea journey. IMAX cameras were used for part of the filming to bring the audience into the action and keep track of the actors. “Dunkirk” is rated R. Rating of 3 for fans.

First Kill—Hayden Christiansen is on a holiday and hoping for a pleasant trip. However, he accidentally witnesses a serious crime. Someone sees him and then take Hayden’s son as a hostage, telling Hayden to get them money. What a situation. “First Kill” is rated PG 13. No rating.

Landline—Yes, the word “landline” is still operational. In this film two sisters who have not gotten along (Abby Quinn and Jenny Slate) are suddenly suspicious that their Dad (John Turturro) is having an affair. What to do? Tell Mom? (Edie Falco) Say nothing…or do a little investigating themselves. Such is the plot. “Landline” is rated PG 13. No rating.

Girls Trip—Seems as though everyone is going on a vacation this summer.  Hayden Christiansen is in trouble with bank robbers, and in “Girls Trip,” four woman decide to go on a trip and have a good time. They are Queen Latifah, Jada Pinkett Smith, Regina Hall and Tiffany Haddish. Look out, world, here they come. The film is set in New Orleans. “Girls Trip” is rated R. No rating.

Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets—This science fiction film, directed by Luc Besson, concerns a fabulous city in the sky that evolved from the first Space Station. It is centuries later and the city (actually called Alpha) is over 18 miles long. Of course, there are problems there. Stars Dane DeHaan and Cara Delevingne. “Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets” is rated PG 13. Rating of 3 for fans.

Polina (opening in select cities)—This is the story of a young girl (Anastasia Shevtsova) who wants to be a dancer in the Bolshoi Ballet and is—this close—to getting in when she discovers modern dance. What to do? She leaves town and moves to France and studies with Juliette Binoche. Is the impossible…possible?  Beautiful choreography. “Polina” is rated PG 13. A French language film with subtitles. Rating of 2 for dance fans.

JULY 28, 2017…

Atomic Blonde is Charlize Theron as an assassin who can clear a room in 30 seconds or less.

The Emoji Movie is—guess what—a movie on emotions when one emoji doesn’t have feelings.

An Inconvenient Sequel: Truth To Power (documentary) has Al Gore with more information on global warming.

From The Land Of The Moon with Marion Cotillard deciding between two men.

The Incredible Jessica James is a romance between Jessica Williams and Chris O’Dowd.

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