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PRINTER FRIENDLY VERSION: 20150728
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BIBLE VERSE OF THE DAY
“Get rid of all moral filth and the evil that is so prevalent and humbly accept the word planted in you, which can save you.” –James 1:21
Faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see. — Hebrews 11:1
HEARTLIGHT DAILY VERSE, PRAYER & THOUGHT
Be submissive to those who are older. All of you, clothe yourselves with humility toward one another, because, “God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.” — 1 Peter 5:5
Thought: The word “submissive” is often positive or negative based on its relationship to us personally. It’s nice having someone serve us submissively, but serving someone else submissively is hard work. Unfortunately, we are selfish way too much of the time. But God is at work in direct opposition to anyone who is full of pride and unwilling to serve others, especially if those “others” are older believers! Whether it’s easy to wear the clothes our Father demands or not, we are to intentionally clothe ourselves with humility!
Prayer: Father, thank you so much for the great heroes of faith listed in Scripture. Thank you for those other heroes of faith who have shared their examples and lives with me. Bless them with strength and health. And Father, please use me to bless and to serve all of your children, especially those who have lived many years in faithful service to you and your Kingdom. Because of the grace of Jesus, and in his name I pray. Amen.
“BIRTHDAY VERSE” OF THE DAY
The chapter and verse corresponds to the month and the day!
2 Samuel 7:28 NIV = O Sovereign LORD, you are God! Your words are trustworthy, and you have promised these good things to your servant.
TODAY IS TUESDAY – JULY 28, 2015
(NOTE: Some holidays may be duplicated due to various calendars reporting conflicting dates)
WEIRD, WACKY, STRANGE, ZANY, ODD, BIZARRE, QUIRKY, UNUSUAL HOLIDAYS!
THERE ARE ONLY 151 SHOPPING DAYS UNTIL CHRISTMAS.
Today is NATIONAL SHAMPOO OUTDOORS DAY. ***MARLAR: My dad likes to do it by playing in the sprinkler. He’s such a child sometimes.
This is NATIONAL MILK CHOCOLATE DAY. ***MARLAR: Isn’t that every day?
Today is NATIONAL HAMBURGER DAY. ***MARLAR: Which leads directly into our next holiday…
Today is NATIONAL DRIVE-THRU DAY, marking the birth of America’s first drive-thru chain, Jack-in-the-Box, on this date in 1951. ***MARLAR: We have a 31-Flavors here in town with a drive-thru as well. How does that work? With the flavors changing all of the time, never knowing what’s on the menu, it’d take you forever to go through the drive-thru! And, sure enough, it’d be the person in front of you that wants the numerous taste-spoons to sample all the new flavors… and all you’re wanting is a scoop of vanilla in a cake cone. It’s that kind of stuff that results in road rage! Or in this case, Rocky Road rage.
TODAY IS ALSO. . .
COMING UP NEXT
WEDNESDAY, JULY 29
THURSDAY, JULY 30
Health Care Now! (Medicare’s Birthday)
Paperback Book Day
National Chili Dog Day
FRIDAY, JULY 31
SATURDAY, AUGUST 01
India Pale Ale Beer Day
National Minority Donor Awareness Day
Respect For Parents
Rounds Resounding Day
US Air Force Day
World Lung Cancer Day
World Wide Web Day
World Scout Scarf Day
SUNDAY, AUGUST 02
MONDAY, AUGUST 03
TUESDAY, AUGUST 04
Coast Guard Day
National Chocolate Chip Day
Single Working Women’s Day
Social Security Day
National Night Out
ON THIS DAY
1866: Beatrix Potter was born in England. In 1894, in a letter to a critically ill child, she told a story of four little rabbits: Flopsy, Mopsy, Cottontail, and Peter. The story, since published in 17 languages, was inspired by her own pet rabbit, Benjamin H. Bouncer.
1896: The city of Miami was incorporated. Population: 260.
1914: Harry Fox and his Orchestra introduced a new dance at the New Amsterdam Roof Garden in New York City. It became known as the foxtrot.
1914: World War I began.
1939: Singer Judy Garland recorded “Somewhere Over the Rainbow” with the Victor Young Orchestra for Decca Records. It became one of the top songs of the century in the film The Wizard of Oz.
1971: At RCA’s Nashville studios, Charley Pride recorded “Kiss An Angel Good Morning.” Lead guitarist: Billy Grammer.
1973: Over 600-thousand attended history’s largest rock festival at New York’s Watkins Glen raceway. Headliners were the Grateful Dead, the Allman Brothers, and the Band.
1973: Six Million Dollar Man Lee Majors married Charley’s favorite Angel Farrah Fawcett. (
1996: Reuters news service reported Dr. Jochen Heuer of Luebeck, Germany, not only performed a successful kidney transplant operation, but also provided his own kidney for the transplant. ***MARLAR: So he takes his own kidney out and places it into somebody else. Either he’s the toughest man ever to walk the face of this planet, or he operated on someone under the influence of morphine and ether.
1998: In Chandler, Arizona, four witnesses lifted a 2,400-pound car high enough for a 13-year-old boy trapped under it to crawl clear. Abraham Villa suffered severe cuts and bruises when the auto hit his bicycle and dragged him several feet.
1998: Monica Lewinsky was given total immunity from prosecution in exchange for grand jury testimony in the investigation of her relationship with President Bill Clinton.
2001: An electricity company in Italy started sending bills to dead people and leaving them on their graves. The bills were sent to tombs when the company could not trace relatives who had asked for graves to be lit up at night. The company said it hoped relatives visiting the graves would pay them.
2002: An Indian dairy firm began marketing instant Holy Cow Dung to help urban Hindus perform their rituals properly. Hindus sanctify places of worship by sprinkling them with a mixture of cow dung and water before conducting rituals. The packaged cow dung is sold in cities where cattle are scarce.
2002: Cycling champion Lance Armstrong won his fourth straight Tour de France.
2004: Democrats nominated Senator John Kerry of Massachusetts to oppose Republic incumbent George W. Bush in the November presidential election.
2006: Very hot summer weather swept across much of the U.S. and parts of Europe, leaving a growing death toll. By late July, California reported 126 heat-related deaths. High temperatures reached as far north as Bismarck, N.D., which reported 112 degrees.
TODAY IN CHRISTIAN HISTORY
1148: Too weak to retake Edessa from the Muslims, the armies of the Second Crusade beseige Damascus. They blundered and were forced to retreat within five days. Believers throughout Christendom were shocked and devastated that a crusade preached by a moral exemplar (Bernard of Clairvaux) and led by royalty (King Louis VII of France and Emperor Conrad III of Germany) would fail.
1727: Moody, stiff young preacher Jonathan Edwards marries Sarah Pierrepont, a lively 17-year-old. The union proved happy and produced 11 children, six of who were born on Sundays. This caused a bit of a scandal, because people then believed children were born the same weekday they were conceived. Nonetheless, people admired the marriage, including George Whitefield, who declared, “A sweeter couple I have not seen”.
1881: American Presbyterian theologian J. Gresham Machen is born in Baltimore.
HOLLYWOOD, SPORTS AND CELEBRITY FIGURE BIRTHDAYS
- actress (“Saved By The Bell”, Any Given Sunday, The First Wives Club) Elizabeth Berkley 43 (
- actress (Gloria on “All in the Family”, Babette Dell on “Gilmore Girls”) Sally Struthers 67 (
- actress (Pat MacDougall on “Everybody Loves Raymond”) Georgia Engel 67 (
- actress (Billie Newman on “Lou Grant”) Linda Kelsey 69 (
- cartoonist (“Garfield”) Jim Davis 70
(Music Artist Birthdays From SongFacts.com)
1901 : Rudy Vallee
1915 : Frankie Yankovic
1937 : Peter Duchin
1938 : George Cummings (Dr. Hook)
1943 : Mike Bloomfield
1945 : Rick Wright (Pink Floyd)
1946 : Jonathan Edwards
1948 : Steve Morse (Deep Purple)
1949 : Peter Doyle (The New Seekers)
1949 : Steve Took (T-Rex)
1962 : Rachel Sweet
1990 : Soulja Boy
SECRETS OF THE UNIVERSE
The United States used to have a state called Franklin. Whatever happened to that state?
Throughout history, many important things have been lost, but it takes an extraordinary level of historical absent-mindedness to misplace an entire state. However, that’s if you think Franklin was a state, as most trivia books are only too glad to do. In 1784, this territory, controlled by North Carolina, was left unprotected when a series of complicated real estate negotiations between that state and the federal government went awry. The territory’s settlers, in limbo, declared themselves the state of Franklin and elected a governor. But no one recognized them and four years later North Carolina reestablished control. Territory shifted a great deal in the early Republic, and in 1796, the former “state” of Franklin ended up as the great state of Tennessee. Conclusion: people who take the “statehood” of Franklin seriously are living in a state of confusion.
(Edited from Tricky Trivia)
CHRISTIAN ARTIST NEWS
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Michael W. Smith was the featured artist at the Colorado Rockies Faith and Family day on Sunday. As part of the day long event Michael was also able to participate in a pre-game chapel with the players and he threw out the first pitch.
Jon Foreman now has a friend from Pakistan. The Switchfoot front man found out that a young man from Pakistan had flown to the states just to see the Switchfoot show so he says he did the logical thing. Jon dragged him up on stage and had him join the rest of the band in singing their song hello hurricane.
Building 429 played at a Women of Faith event over the weekend and took time to perform an special version of Amazing Grace during a set change. While the stage crew was moving things around behind them, Building 429 enlisted Sandi Patty to help them with an Acapella version of the well known hymn. Check out a clip of their performance here: http://t.co/3wuW2IB7Oa
Wesley Woollard found a big way to propose to his girlfriend Haylee. He took Haylee to Red Rocks in Colorado for the recent Tour De Compadres concert and, while backstage, with members of NeedtoBreathe, Switchfoot, Drew Holcomb and the Neighbors, and Colony House looking on, Wesley got down on one knee and popped the question. And in case you were wondering, Haylee did say yes.
Casting Crowns Juan DeVevo and Google were not on the same wave length over the weekend. When Juan used the talk feature on his phone to ask Google a question, the automated system asked: “Did you mean: Quantum Realm of Atomic and Subatomic length Scales *meme*?” Juan’s surprised reply: “No, Google. No I didn’t. Why would—wait, is that a thing?”
Kutless drummer Drew Porter says he has an new job with the band. He tweeted: I’ve become the official baby holder within the Kutless crew. But it isn’t only the crew members kids that feel comfortable with Drew. He added: with no prompting, this kid just came up and sat in my lap this weekend.
Natalie Grant was at the supermarket over the weekend but it wasn’t to get groceries. She was there to pick up a copy of the magazine First for Women. Natalie is featured on the cover of the magazine. Natalie shares her secrets to a happy and healthy life and also talks about how she beat depression and lost 40 pounds.
Jenny Simmons was in the middle of indoor soccer, three loads of laundry, and packing for another round of trips when the UPS man made a special delivery. He brought her the very first copy of her book The Road to Becoming. Jenny’s response: I burst into exhausted-happy-wonderstruck tears. The book will officially come out on September 1st but later this week Jenny says she will tell you all about the special pre-sale goodies they have put together for the first 250 people who pre-order a copy.
WEIRD & WACKY
|Florida man wins Hemingway look-alike contest in Key West photo
KEY WEST, Fla. (AP) — A white-bearded Florida man has won the “Papa” Hemingway Look-Alike Contest on his 15th attempt. Retired air traffic controller Charlie Boice of Palm Beach Gardens prevailed Saturday night at Sloppy Joe’s Bar, a hangout of Ernest Hemingway during his Key West residency…
|New Jersey chain saw artist has tools swiped
BRIDGETON, N.J. (AP) — A New Jersey chain saw artist says somebody nicked his tools. Brian “Ackmonster” Ackley says someone broke into his workshop and made off with all 10 of his saws. Ackley tells WCAU-TV (http://bit.ly/1KsB6Ta) he’s been doing chain saw carvings for 15 years, creating…
|Owl with an attitude wins face-off with deputy photo
BOULDER, Colo. (AP) — A Boulder County sheriff’s deputy got into a face-off with an owl with an attitude, and the owl won. Deputy Sophie Berman came across the raptor on a dirt road on Tuesday as Berman patrolled an area near a campground west of Boulder. Berman crouched down to take video of…
|1 car, 2 DUIs after passenger jumps in driver’s seat
ROCKINGHAM, Vt. (AP) — One traffic stop netted two drunk-driving arrests in Vermont after police say a backseat passenger jumped in the driver’s seat. State police say they stopped a car early Sunday on Interstate 91 in Rockingham after it was clocked doing 106 mph. Authorities say they got…
|Robot’s cross-country hitchhike hasn’t left Massachusetts photo
BOSTON (AP) — A robot’s hitchhiking journey across the U.S. is off to a slow start. The robot named hitchBOT caught its first ride in Marblehead, Massachusetts, last week, bound for San Francisco, but it still hasn’t left the state. Instead, it has bounced around the Boston area and was…
|Volcano-like underground fire is put out after a month
WOODBURY, N.J. (AP) — Crews have put out a fire that burned underground in southern New Jersey for a month, melting the ground around it and reaching 1,000 degrees. HASH(0x1409c00) It began when a power line snapped, sending electricity into the ground and igniting a mixture of coal and…
|Man leaves dead rattlesnake on Arizona police memorial photo
COTTONWOOD, Ariz. (AP) — A 23-year-old man thought it would be funny to put a dead rattlesnake on a northern Arizona police memorial, but authorities were not amused. Nathan Cody Cumiford, of Cottonwood, was arrested Monday and faces a misdemeanor littering charge. He was released on his own…
|BLM: Idaho cyclist sparks fire by burning used toilet paper
BOISE, Idaho (AP) — Authorities say a cyclist started a 73-acre wildfire in southwest Idaho by lighting his toilet paper on fire after taking a comfort break. U.S. Bureau of Land Management officials say the cyclist stopped to defecate in a ravine in the Boise foothills on Wednesday…
|Half-naked ‘Spartans’ attract attention of Beijing police photo
BEIJING (AP) — A salad store paraded dozens of half-naked Western men dressed as Spartans through China’s capital as a publicity stunt, causing a stir and drawing a crackdown by police who were photographed restraining some of them on the ground. About 40 mostly blond and brown-haired men…
|Milwaukee man shoots dog, mistaking it for reported lion
MILWAUKEE (AP) — A man who thought he spotted a lion that people have reported seeing wandering on Milwaukee’s north side has shot and injured a large pit bull. Police say the dog, which was shot Tuesday night, is being cared for at the Milwaukee Area Domestic Animal Control Commission. The…
|560-pound man biking across US to lose weight photo
TIVERTON, R.I. (AP) — A 560-pound man biking across the United States to lose weight hit a snag in Rhode Island. HASH(0x1404820) Newport Bicycle is outfitting Hites with a new bike that can withstand his weight. In two weeks on the road, the 40-year-old says he’s lost 60 pounds. Hites, who…
HEALTH & FITNESS
|State health insurance markets struggle with cost challenges photo
WASHINGTON (AP) — State-run health insurance markets that offer coverage under President Barack Obama’s health law are struggling with high costs and disappointing enrollment. These challenges could lead more of them to turn over operations to the federal government or join forces with other…
|Brain disorder center’s closing sends ripples nationwide photo
CONCORD, N.H. (AP) — When Tyler Richardson’s son hit puberty, the combination of hormones and new strength from a growth spurt added an element of danger to a long history of unpredictable behavior because of autism and severe anger problems. He wandered outside one day after his aides left…
|Planned Parenthood official says no profit from fetal organs photo
WASHINGTON (AP) — The president of Planned Parenthood said her organization’s clinics never adjust the abortion procedure to better preserve fetal organs for medical research and that the organization’s charges cover only the cost of transmission to researchers. Planned Parenthood has come…
|FDA OKs breakthrough cholesterol drug for high-risk patients photo
WASHINGTON (AP) — The Food and Drug Administration on Friday approved a first-of-a-kind drug that lowers artery-clogging cholesterol more than older drugs that have been prescribed for decades. The drug from Sanofi and Regeneron Pharmaceuticals Inc. offers an important new option for millions…
|Beverage group sues city over soda warnings, advertising ban
SAN FRANCISCO (AP) — The American Beverage Association has sued the city of San Francisco, claiming new legislation requiring health warning labels on sugary beverages and prohibiting advertisements of them on city property violates the First Amendment. The San Francisco Chronicle reports…
|Judge rules Alzheimer’s project belongs to UC San Diego
LOS ANGELES (AP) — A judge has ruled that control of a landmark project on Alzheimer’s disease belongs to the University of California, San Diego — handing the school a major victory in its lawsuit against the University of Southern California. UC San Diego sued after Alzheimer’s…
|Lifestyle changes may guard aging brain against memory loss photo
WASHINGTON (AP) — The latest Alzheimer’s research has a clear theme: Change your lifestyle to protect your brain. It will take several years for scientists to prove whether some experimental drugs could at least delay Alzheimer’s disease, and an aging population is at risk now. Whatever…
|FDA OK’s Odomzo from Novartis for common skin cancer type
EAST RUTHERFORD, N.J. (AP) — A new drug for advanced basal cell carcinoma, an increasingly common cancer in the skin’s top layer, has won Food and Drug Administration approval. Odomzo (pronounced ah-DOMM’-zoh) was approved for patients whose cancer hasn’t spread to other body parts, but…
|EU regulator recommends 1st license for malaria vaccine photo
LONDON (AP) — The European Medicines Agency has recommended approving what would be the world’s first licensed malaria vaccine, even though it’s only about 30 percent effective and its protection fades over time. In a statement Friday, the agency endorsed the vaccine’s use outside Europe, a…
|Nigeria celebrates 1 year with no new polio cases photo
LAGOS, Nigeria (AP) — Once stigmatized as the world’s polio epicenter, Nigeria on Friday celebrates its first year with no reported case of the crippling disease, having overcome obstacles ranging from Islamic extremists who assassinated vaccinators to rumors the vaccine was a plot to…
|Planned Parenthood videos: No sign of political issue fading photo
WASHINGTON (AP) — Two stealthily recorded videos show Planned Parenthood officials discussing how they provide aborted fetal organs for research. The videos have put the group and its Democratic allies on the defensive. It’s unclear how long the political damage may last or whether Planned…
(None on the weekends)
NEW NEWS KICKERS…
After years of waiting for the right woman, a 93-year-old bachelor in a remote part of India has pronounced himself a happy man after marrying his 63-year-old landlady. *** He married a woman who is thirty years younger! Well, of COURSE he’s happy!
A woman in the UK called police from a hair salon because her new haircut was “a mess”. The woman told police she was refusing to pay and was seeking legal advice. ***Perhaps she should’ve sought fashion advice first.
As the number of cremations in the U.S. approaches 50%, more and more people are instructing their loved ones to spread their ashes around after they’ve died. While the spreading of ashes is often legal with permissions and permits, some family members do so without permission — and act known in the funeral industry as “wildcat scattering.” ***And if you’re a fan of the University of Arizona, and are caught by police while doing it, it’s considered “Wildcat wildcat scattering scattering”.
A fire cost an estimated $340,000 in damage to a Henderson, Las Vegas, business Friday night. The business: a place that does psychic readings. *** Yet they didn’t see it coming.
NEWS KICKER EVERGREENS…
If your 7-year-old son comes home from school with flu, he probably caught it from another boy rather than one of the girls, says new research that sheds light on how the flu virus spreads. Scientists researching the spread of H1N1 in an elementary school classroom found that boys typically transmit the infection to other boys and girls pass it on to girls. In fact, grade-school guys are three times more likely to spread flu to classmates of the same sex than the opposite sex. ***MARLAR: Well, yeah – of course. Because if you get too close to the other sex you might get cooties!
A new report says a cocoa extract may help prevent Alzheimer’s. According to a study conducted at the School of Medicine at Mount Sinai, a specific preparation of cocoa extract prevents a protein in the brain from gradually forming sticky clumps which are known to damage nerve cells as Alzheimer’s progresses. ***MARLAR: So… bring on the Nestle Crackles!
In utero babies aren’t just relaxing waiting for their real world entrance — they’re actually listening to you. It turns out that unborn babies can hear a lot more than we think they do. The fun starts about 30 weeks in, and the last two months is when baby can recognize mama’s voice. ***MARLAR: No wonder our kids are so fat – they keep hearing over and over even before they are born, “I’m eating for two… I’m eating for two…”
We already know that getting enough sleep plays a huge role in health, from maintaining a healthy weight and staving off the common cold, to just plain keeping you sane. Well, research is showing that getting enough sleep may also slow down the aging process and keep your body younger for longer. Researchers (at Duke-NUS Graduate Medical School Singapore) have found that when older adults sleep less, their brains actually age faster. ***MARLAR: According to this research, I’m about 106 years old.
CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD TODAY’S EPISODE… “Doctor’s Practice”
DAILY COMEDY CLIP
CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD TODAY’S EPISODE… Bob Smiley, “Mother In Law”
AS THE JUNGLE TURNS – WEEKDAY VERSION
CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD TUESDAY’S EPISODE
OPEN: And now, FancyMonkey.com, (Show Name), and (Station Call Letters) bring you another inspiringly inspiring inspirational story in the never-ending deep-jungle soap-opera saga that is As the Jungle Turns!
CLOSE: Sounds like Millard has found a new – and dangerous hobby. Find out what happens next time, as FancyMonkey.com, (Show Name), and (Station Call Letters) bring you As the Jungle Turns!
AS THE JUNGLE TURNS – SATURDAY/SUNDAY VERSION
CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD THE EPISODE FOR THE WEEKEND OF AUGUST 01/02, 2015
OPEN: And now, FancyMonkey.com, (Show Name), and (Station Call Letters) bring you As the Jungle Turns! When last we left the jungle island of Razzleflabbin, Marvy Snuffelson nailed down the hands on the island’s calendar clock so everyone would think every day was Saturday! Unfortunately, it’s been many, many days of Saturdays. There’s no food, and everyone is at each other’s throats wondering who is to blame!
CLOSE: Now that Marvy has come clean with what he’s done, will Razzleflabbin Island get back to normal? Will Karl stay? Find out next time, As the Jungle Turns!
***You may simulcast “As the Jungle Turns” on the Internet stream of your live broadcast only. Any other Internet use of As the Jungle Turns in whole or part including podcasting of your live broadcast is a violation of copyright law. Thank you for your cooperation on this vitally important issue. If you have any questions, please e-mail us.
MOMENT OF DUH
A New Jersey man trying to exterminate insects ended up exterminating his entire apartment instead.
Isias Maceda was uninjured in the accident, but 80% of his apartment was destroyed, Eatontown, New Jersey, police said. The accident occurred as Maceda was spraying for pests in his kitchen. Somehow the bug spray ignited and a blast blew out the apartment’s front windows and triggered a fire that quickly spread. The Saturday blaze also caused smoke damage to the apartment upstairs.
TOP 10 WAYS TO KNOW YOU’RE A SENIOR CITIZEN
- You’re the life of the party… even when it only lasts ’till 8 pm.
- You’re very good at opening childproof caps… with a hammer.
- You’re usually interested in going home before you get to where you’re going.
- You’re good on a trip for at least an hour without your aspirin, antacid, etc.
- You’re the first one to find the bathroom wherever you go.
- You’re awake many hours before your body allows you to get up.
- You’re very good at telling stories… over and over and over and over…
- You’re aware that other people’s grandchildren are not nearly as bright as your own.
- You’re so cared for… long-term care, eye care, private care, dental care…
- You’re not grouchy, you just don’t like traffic, waiting, children, telephone, politicians, and nosy DJs who remind you how old you are.
THE FILES OF LAW & DISORDER
It pays to get a good night’s sleep.
FILE #1: That’s what one juror found out the hard way after yawning in court. Superior Court Judge Craig Veals said, “You yawned rather audibly there. As a matter of fact, it was to the point that it was contemptuous.” The juror said he was sorry, but that he was bored. The judge then admonished him for having a lousy attitude and fined him $1,000. The juror paid the fine after it was reduced to $100 and as it turned out he wasn’t even selected to serve.
FILE #2: The man who allegedly broke into the Houdini Museum in Scranton, Pennsylvania, was unable to escape from police. 25-year-old Charles Watkins was charged with a felony count of attempted burglary and misdemeanor charges of criminal trespass and loitering. The museum co-founder and director, Dorothy Dietrich, said, “He’s going to need more than Houdini to escape from this problem.” Fortunately nothing was taken or badly damaged during the break-in.
FILE #3: Call it the case of the dead cells – both telephones and the ones in the brain. Employees at a Telefonica Movistar cell-phone store in Morelia, Mexico say they arrived one morning to find that the store had been broken into. An examination of the shop revealed the only items missing were hollow replica phones for display that are completely useless for making calls. Employees say the clueless thieves overlooked real cell phones and cash in another part of the shop. Store owners nonetheless reported the theft to local police, who are investigating.
STRANGE LAW: In Florida, if an elephant is left tied to a parking meter, the parking fee has to be paid just as it would for a vehicle.
THIS IS YOUR BRAIN ON DRUGS
A federal appeals court is saying N-O to a nasty note on T-P.
Texas prison inmate George Morgan sent a vulgar message to a prosecutor written on a piece of toilet paper. He claimed he was just exercising his constitutional right of free speech. But a federal appeals court upheld a lower court ruling tossing out his claim. The court said prison administrators had the right to dock Morgan 15 days of good time credits for the T-P stunt. Morgan is serving a 23-year term on drug dealing charges.
‘Tis the season for grilling burgers – and most of us are traditionalists. Lettuce, tomato, cheese, ketchup, mustard, pickle… but that’s not for all of us. An elderly man who is a friend of mine has had his taste-buds change in his age… the other day my wife saw him put grape jelly on his cheeseburger! Eww! What’s the weirdest thing you’ve seen someone put on a burger?
BIBLE BRAIN BUSTER!
QUESTION: What did Jacob call the place where God spoke to him?
ANSWER: Bethel (Genesis 28:19)
A quick test on how quick you can think on your feet!
This riddle must be done in your head – NOT using paper and a pen. Please do not cheat. Do this in your head as I tell it to you!
Take 1000 and add 40 to it.
Now add another 1000.
Now add 30.
Add another 1000.
Now add 20.
Now add another 1000.
Now add 10.
What is the total? (answer below)
Did you get 5000? If so you are incorrect. Try it again! Still get 5000? The correct answer is actually 4100.
Don’t believe it? Check it with your calculator!
TRUE OR FALSE
Pay attention! If our next player doesn’t answer all ten T/F questions correctly we start all over from question #1! First person to answer question #10 correctly is our winner!
- Bayer® Aspirin was the first drug ever to be marketed in tablet form. (True. First marketed in 1899 as a powder, by 1900 aspirin was being compressed into a water-soluble tablet.)
- ‘Soldiers disease’ is a term for valium addiction. (False – morphine addiction. The Civil War produced over 400,000 morphine addicts.)
- The stomach of an adult can hold 1.5 liters of material. (True)
- About one half of Australia is covered by deserts. (False – one fifth.)
- Strangeray Springs cattle station in South Australia is the largest ranch in the world. (True – its area measures 30,029 square kilometers – only slightly smaller than the European country of Belgium.)
- Israel is half the size of the state of Maine. (False – it’s only a quarter of the size of Maine!)
- The Japanese national anthem is only four lines long. (True.)
- The standard single oar used by gondoliers in Venice is 14 feet long. (True)
- The Old Chinese Telephone Exchange in San Franciso required operators to memorize every phone number of every single one of the company’s 2,400 clients. (True – because the Chinese believed it was rude to refer to a person as a number. Operators were also required to be proficient in English and five Chinese dialects.)
- The ancient Egyptians worshipped cats as Gods. (True. And any cat owner can tell you that cats have never gotten over it!)
TABLOID MATCH GAME
You have to match the blank in the tabloid headline with the word or phrase that has been removed!
STUDY: CONGRESS FILLED WITH _________ (MORONS)
A groundbreaking study has determined that 83% of the members of Congress are certified morons!
The Kennedy School of Government did a longitudinal study over the last 30 years that looked at the average IQ of members of Congress – the Senate & House of Representatives.
The study found that, despite the many advanced degrees from prestigious universities, and despite the fact that many in Congress are millionaires, the average IQ of U.S. Representatives is 101. The average IQ of U.S. Senators, is surprisingly, even lower at 98.
“We spent one hour a month with each member of Congress over the last thirty years. We gave them a number of IQ tests – including math problems, verbal problems and analytic reasoning problems. The results were consistent year-in-year out. Members of Congress are morons,” said Professor Thomas Turley of Harvard.
THE WAY TOO EARLY IN THE MORNING TO UNDERSTAND THE PUNCHLINE EVEN AFTER TWO CUPS OF COFFEE JOKE OF THE DAY
A honeymooning couple is in the Watergate Hotel in Washington. The bride is concerned about the room being bugged. The groom says, “I’ll look for a bug.” He looks behind the drapes, behind the pictures, under the rug. “A-HA!” Under the rug was a disc with four screws. He gets his Swiss army knife, unscrews the screws, and throws them and the disc out the window.
The next morning, the hotel manager asks the newlyweds, “How was your room? How was the service? How was your stay at the Watergate Hotel?”
The groom says, “Why are you asking me all of these questions?”
The hotel manager says, “Well, the room under you complained of the chandelier falling on them!”
Johnny’s Mother looked out the window and noticed him “playing church” with their cat. He had the cat sitting quietly and he was preaching to it. She smiled and went about her work. A while later she heard loud meowing and hissing and ran back to the open window to see Johnny baptizing the cat in a tub of water. She called out, “Johnny, stop that! The cat is afraid of water!”
Johnny looked up at her and said, “He should have thought about that before he joined my church.”
Little Johnny was attending his first day of school. The teacher advised the class to start the day with the pledge of allegiance, and instructed them to put their right hands over their hearts and repeat after him. He looked around the room as he started the recitation, “I pledge allegiance to the flag…”
When his eyes fell upon Little Johnny, he noticed his hand over the right cheek of his buttocks. “Little Johnny, I will not continue until you put your hand over your heart.”
Little Johnny replied, “It is over my heart.”
After several attempts to get Little Johnny to put his hand over his heart, the teacher asked, “Why do you think that is your heart?”
“Because, every time my Grandma comes to visit, she picks me up, pats me here, and says, ‘Bless your little heart,’ and my Grandma wouldn’t lie!”
In the 1960s Gatorade was supposed to be the magic sports elixir. In the 70s many athletes consumed bee pollen to energize themselves to the max. A few years ago a Chinese coach who trained record-breaking long-distance runners claimed that they ran faster when they snacked on worms. ***MARLAR: That’s AFTER spending twenty minutes heaving in the men’s room once you’ve eaten them.
A $20-million German lottery winner says he plans to build the world’s largest pigeon coop. The unidentified man lives in a modest apartment with his family so he said the first thing he will do is buy a house in the country far enough from neighbors so he can build his giant pigeon hotel without disturbing anyone. ***MARLAR: I might also suggest he purchase a giant shovel.
LINE OF DUTY, OR JUST A LINE?
Airman Jones was assigned to the induction center, where he advised new recruits about their government benefits, especially their GI insurance. It wasn’t long before Captain Smith noticed that Airman Jones had almost a 100% record for insurance sales, which had never happened before. Rather than ask about this, the Captain stood in the back of the room and listened to Jones’s sales pitch. Jones explained the basics of the GI Insurance to the new recruits, and then said: “If you have GI Insurance and go into battle and are killed, the government has to pay $200,000 to your beneficiaries. If you don’t have GI insurance, and you go into battle and get killed, the government only has to pay a maximum of $6000. Now,” he concluded, “which bunch do you think they are going to send into battle first?”
IT MUST BE TRUE BECAUSE I HEARD IT ON THE RADIO!
Want to get a free gift from your teacher at school? No problem… just show up late all the time and get rewarded for it!
In going to school and showing up late, what happens to you? You’re usually punished for it, right? Detention, failing that day’s work, you’re AT LEAST written up for it! But not in Manchester, England. If you show up late to school there, they give you a free alarm clock! Staff at St James’ Primary School hope the scheme will ensure children turn up on time for lessons. Teacher Gwen Osborne came up with the idea after a brother and sister who were always late for class told her they didn’t have their own clock. ***MARLAR: Why didn’t I think of this in school? First I would have said that I didn’t have a clock… and the school would give me one. I’d then say that I couldn’t concentrate on studies because I didn’t have food at home, and maybe I’d get free school lunches! And then, I’d say that I’m late to school all of the time because I didn’t have a car…
THE GIFT OF FRIENDSHIP
There is a gift of friendship
That God has give to me,
He put you there to help me
With the things I can not see,
A friend is someone special
Who’s always there for you,
In good times and in bad
A friend will see you through,
God’s the one who gives us friends
This is his special gift,
Our friends are always there
When we need that extra lift,
There are certain things
That only friends can share,
And also when I need you
I know that you’ll be there,
You know you have a friend
For you have a friend in me,
I’ll always be there to help you
With the things you can not see.
By Melinda Tanner
DRIVE TIME DEVOTIONAL
Last night it rained. Lots of rain. Lots of thunder and lightning. This morning the river seemed to be hustling along more rapidly than yesterday. From our balcony, I spied a small pool and kept watching it for fish. The guide that accompanied us on our first fly-fishing adventure said to look for trout in the pools of the river. Sure enough, when the sun was full out, shining down, I could see a beautiful rainbow trout. He was so still I’d have thought he was dead if he hadn’t been upright in the water. In the quieter spots of our lives – the pools – where there’s not a lot of motion, there is still something going on. There may not be the hustle-bustle -rush -and turmoil of everyday life. Yet all around is a bubbling, effervescent world whose waters flow around us continually. There is still life there, in the resting. Life and renewal and refreshing. When it is time, we’ll move out of the pool and into the current, back into the rapid flow of the river. In the book of songs, in the Bible, it says, “Be still, and know that I am God.” Thank God for the pools He provides for us in our lives.
(Contributed by Sally Kennedy)
HICCUPS, ARE THEY CONTAGIOUS?
There’s a hiccup epidemic in Madrid. A hiccup epidemic may sound funny, but for 11-hundred people in a neighborhood in Madrid, Spain, it’s no joke. The epidemic is said to have been going on for three months, and nothing has been able to cure its victims, 500 of whom are hospitalized. Researchers say the epidemic may be linked to a gas leak that occurred right around the time the mass hiccupping started.
LIFE… LIVE IT
THE WALLS ARE CLOSING IN
If you are feeling claustrophobic at work, there’s good reason – your cubicle may be shrinking.
…According to a report in “Wired” magazine, the standard office cubicle has shrunk by as much as 50% in recent years, down to 30 square feet. The magazine also notes that by comparison, most coffins measure 15 square feet and the typical prison cell at San Quentin is a spacious 70 square feet. ***MARLAR: So work is better than death, but worse than prison!
JUST FOR FUN
A man wearing only boxer shorts jumps into the gorilla exhibit at the Bronx Zoo!
Need evidence that evolution isn’t possible? This should do it for you. A man recently stripped down to his boxer shorts, scaled a high fence and jumped into the Bronx Zoo’s gorilla exhibit. A quick-thinking zoo employee was able to herd the gorillas into their feeding cages before the man could come near them. After about 15 minutes, police arrested the man. And as he was being led away, police asked him why he did it. “I want to be at one with the monkeys,” he said. Not surprisingly, he was taken to a hospital for a psychiatric evaluation. ***MARLAR: See? Evolution CAN’T be true… in this case it’s the apes that are the more intelligent ones.
MURPHY’S LAWS REGARDING WORK
- Don’t be irreplaceable, if you can’t be replaced, you can’t be promoted.
- You can go anywhere you want, if you look serious and carry a clipboard.
- Everything can be filed under “miscellaneous”.
- To err is human, to forgive is not company policy.
- Important letters that contain no errors will develop errors in the mail.
- You are always doing something marginal when the boss drops by your desk.
- If it weren’t for the last minute, nothing would get done.
- When you don’t know what to do, walk fast and look worried.
- You will always get the greatest recognition for the job that you least like.
- The longer the title, the less important the job.
- Machines that have broken down will work perfectly when the repairman arrives.
MORE SHOW PREP STUFF…
BODY MYSTERIES REVEALED…
Did you ever want to know something about the human body but were afraid to ask, or you didn’t know who to ask? Here are some answer to “odd body” questions you’ve wanted to know:
- Can my nose grow bigger? — You remember the story of “Pinocchio?” Every time he told a lie his nose grew bigger. In fact the Pinocchio effect is very real, at least to some extent. Your nose gets slightly larger or smaller depending on blood flow. What you eat, temperature, illness, allergies, even emotions such as anger can alter the size of your nose. It is common for people to feel they have a temporarily stuffy nose after eating. Some even say they can feel it expanding or contracting. The size difference is tiny. Yet if you measure your nose throughout the day, you’d find that it does get smaller or bigger but not like poor Pinocchio’s.
- What are hiccups? — A hiccup is an irritation of the diaphragm that causes a spasm. First, the diaphragm contracts involuntarily. Second, when air is inhaled, the space between the vocal cords snaps shut with a characteristic clicking sound, which is what we hear when we hiccup.
- Why do I have fingerprints? — Fingerprints are visible parts of the rete ridges, where the skin’s epidermis dips down into the dermis forming an interlocking structure. Our unique print configurations are due to the semi-randomness of ridge and dermal-structure growth. Fingerprints help us grip and handle objects the way car tires grip the road. A system of troughs, ridges and grooves helps channel water from our fingers and toes. This results in a better gripping ability.
- Why can’t I tickle myself? — The “tickle response” is involuntary and cannot be self-induced. It has been suggested that tickling with gentle movement of fingertips excites certain small, fine nerve endings or “touch” sensors just beneath the surface of the skin. These are located all over the body, but especially on the palms and soles.
- Why do my feet swell in airplanes? — For the same reason they swell on the ground – inactivity. On an airplane you’re confined and sitting, gravity forces blood and other fluids to the lowest body point – your feet. Feet normally swell during the day. Podiatrists recommend stretching to minimize swelling.
OTHER STUFF I WANT TO CRAM INTO TODAY’S PREP
A church in Georgia recently collected over five tons of Oreos, which were shipped overseas to members of the United States Armed Forces. According to the Christian Post, the Alpharetta First United Methodist Church collected 5.6 tons of the cookies in an annual charitable endeavor called “Operation Oreo.” Operation Oreo began in 2009 after senior pastor Don Martin was told by a young soldier who served in Iraq that the thing he missed most was double stuffed Oreos. The number of cookies collected has grown ever since.
In its first-ever Kickstarter campaign, the Smithsonian National Air and Space Museum is asking the public for $500,000 to conserve and display the spacesuit Neil Armstrong wore when he became the first man to walk on the moon. According to ABC News, the 21-layer spacesuit is one of the museum’s most fragile artifacts. Over time, the material has degraded. The Smithsonian says it will use the $500,000 to “reboot the suit” by conducting chemical analysis and CT scanning, researching conservation techniques, creating a 3-D scan, and preserving the garment “down to the particles of lunar dust that cling to its surface.” *** So now even the Smithsonian is diving into the crowd funding. Not sure if that makes it legitimate… or if it makes it something our grandparents would do.
Searching for a creative outlet? Some people are turning to sunburn art, the hottest bad idea for your health. Tagged Sun burn art has been popping up on social media this summer, showing people intricately burned by the sun with the help of a strategically placed pattern. While the practice is still limited, it’s warranted enough media attention that officials from the Skin Cancer Foundation recently released a statement on sunburn art. They stated: The Skin Cancer Foundation strongly advises the public to avoid sunburns at all costs. A sunburn is not only painful – it’s dangerous, and comes with consequences. Sunburns cause DNA damage to the skin, accelerate skin aging, and increase your lifetime skin cancer risk.
AND I LEAVE YOU WITH THIS THOUGHT
Motivation is not going to strike you like lightning. And motivation is not something that someone else – nurse, doctor, family member – can bestow or force on you. The whole idea of motivation is a trap. Forget motivation. Just do it.” — American Medical Journal, as quoted in “Developing the Leader Within You”, page 110
Good thing we’re at the end of the show now. I just realized that when I ate before the show, instead of eating my rice cake, I ate my Styrofoam coffee cup. And it tasted better.
THE WAY WE WORK
(Updated as it comes available. The Way WE Work is written by Mark Elfstrand from 1160Hope.com in Chicago.)
Is there such a thing as an “entrepreneur gene?” You know, something innate that becomes the drive for some to take risks. To step out on their own. To follow their dreams.
I’m pretty sure my father had that innate drive. While family security was important, he had the urge to take on new things. His limited efforts in this way were not met with success. For a number of reasons.
My wiring definitely has some of that. I have stepped out aggressively more than once, raising capital for a new venture. And then I helped my wife start a publishing business several years ago. Additionally, I helped launch two nonprofits. It’s fun to be in the “start with a dream and see it work” business.
The verdict on whether genetics is involved is mixed. But what seems to be a very common indicator for success is a little more clear. And it has to do with…family money.
First, an Inc Magazine story on this topic reports findings from The Department of Twin Research and Genetic Epidemiology at Kings College, London. In short, their research concluded:
• 37 to 48 percent of the tendency to be an entrepreneur is genetic.
• The tendency to identify new business opportunities is in your genes.
• Self-employment income is heritable, which means that genetics affect not only the tendency to engage in entrepreneurship, but also the ability to perform it.
• The tendency to have personality traits such as extroversion, openness, etc., has a genetic component. This suggests that your genes could affect your tendency to be an entrepreneur by influencing the type of personality you develop.
But the success factor of entrepreneurship comes from a second article. It’s titled, “Entrepreneurs don’t have a special gene for risk—they come from families with money.” (http://qz.com/455109/entrepreneurs-dont-have-a-special-gene-for-risk-they-come-from-families-with-money/)
Here we learn that “the most common shared trait among entrepreneurs is access to financial capital—family money, an inheritance, or a pedigree and connections that allow for access to financial stability.” When basic needs are met, it’s argued, it’s easier to be creative. Safety nets encourage more risk taking.
A University of California Berkeley study of entrepreneurs revealed most were white, male, and highly educated. Not all, but most. And without family money, success chances drop quite a bit.
On the personality trait side, resilience stands out, along with extroversion and openness as noted earlier. And genetics do play a factor here. It’s still risky business. But as one woman who runs in circles of entrepreneurs says, “Following your dreams can be dangerous.”
This information was quite revealing to me. If I was counseling others on whether to take the leap and start a new venture, I would now have an even more cautious mindset. At least as it applies to business startups.
To the contrary, the spiritual life often demands from us a “leap of faith.” Hebrews, chapter 11, is a classic piece of scripture on the “halls of faith.” Here are a few verses specifically about Abraham:
“It was by faith that Abraham obeyed when God called him to leave home and go to another land that God would give him as his inheritance. He went without knowing where he was going. And even when he reached the land God promised him, he lived there by faith—for he was like a foreigner, living in tents. And so did Isaac and Jacob, who inherited the same promise. Abraham was confidently looking forward to a city with eternal foundations, a city designed and built by God.” (Hebrews 11:8-10 NLT)
For a person to have an authentic spiritual life—which will certainly impact our work life as well—faith comes into play. To move confidently into areas where insecurity dwells, it is best to know the voice of God. The sensitivity to hear God’s voice comes by abiding in Him. Leaps of faith are not such big jumps when our hearts are properly tuned.
And in terms of “family wealth” as a safety net, remember: God not only owns the cattle on a thousand hills…he owns the real estate as well.
That’s The Way WE Work.
THE TICKET Movie Reviews with MARIE ASNER
Marie Asner has been reviewing films for over 30 years. Her outlets include radio, print and Internet. For more in-depth movie reviews of the following films, visit www.Tollbooth.org. Ratings from 1 (Low) to 5 (High).
JULY 24, 2015…
Southpaw—Jake Gyllenhaal stars in this boxing film of a man almost defeated in life, who tries a comeback. Jake has a tragedy in his life and his daughter is missing. Forest Whitaker comes to the forefront as a trainer who gets Jake back into shape. (Gyllenhaal really got into shape for this role.) Rachel McAdams is Jake’s wife. “Southpaw” is rated R. Rating of 3 for sports fans.
Pan—This is a different concept, indeed. Take the usual “Peter Pan” story and make it one with Blackbeard (Hugh Jackman) instead and the children he kidnaps, especially Peter (Levi Miller). to work in his mines. Captain Hook is played by Garrett Hedlund and something in the vein of Johnny Depp’s “Jack Sparrow.” Tiger Lily is played by Rooney Mara. Ah, yes, not your usual story here, but the characters are based on the Barry stories. “Pan” is rated PG 13. Rating of 2 for fans.
Pixels—What would happen if the alien invaders turned out to be past video games? Pac Man running around the city, etc. That is the premise of this movie starring Adam Sandler and Kevin James as two guys who figure this out. They are helped by Peter Dinklage (“Game of Thrones”), Michelle Monaghan and Josh Gad. “Pixels” (directed by Chris Columbus) is rated PG 13. Rating of 2 for fans of video games.
Paper Towns—The film is adapted from a book by author John Green (“The Fault In Our Stars,.”) “Paper Towns” is a comedy/mystery about a young man Quentin Jacobsen) who falls for the girl next door, Margo Roth Speigelman , who, in turn, involves him in a mystery and then disappears. What to do? He begins his journey. Also in the cast is Halston Sage. “Paper Towns” is rated PG 13. No rating.
JULY 31, 2015…
Vacation is a comedy with Ed Helms and Leslie Mann about revisiting the National Lampoon vacation spots.
The Gift is a thriller starring Jason Bateman and Rebecca Hall
Mission Impossible: Rogue Nation is a Tom Cruise action film and plenty of stunts, including hanging from a plane in flight.
The End Of The Tour (opening in select cities) stars Jesse Eisenberg as a reporter out for a great interview.
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