July 29, 2015: Wednesday ONAIRprep

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PRINTER FRIENDLY VERSION: 20150729

 

WELCOME TO THE SHOW!

Welcome to (THE JOCK SHOW)! Because sometimes you feel like a nut, sometimes you don’t.

 

 

BIBLE VERSE OF THE DAY

“A righteous man who walks in his integrity — How blessed are his sons after him.” –Proverbs 20:3

 

[The Lord says] “Do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” — Isaiah 41:10

 

 

HEARTLIGHT DAILY VERSE, PRAYER & THOUGHT

Do not neglect your gift, which was given you through a prophetic message when the body of elders laid their hands on you. — 1 Timothy 4:14

 

Thought: Life seems so busy, so full of distractions and “to do” lists. Let’s not let our “busyness” keep us from our Father’s “business.” Let’s find the ways God has gifted us to serve him and his people; then let’s dedicate ourselves to that with all our heart, soul, mind, and strength.

 

Prayer: Gracious God, you have blessed me in so many different ways. Thank you for all these touches of your grace. But Father, I need your help to more clearly see how you have gifted me to serve you and to more passionately make that service a key priority in my life each day. Thank you for always hearing my prayers. In Jesus’ name I pray. Amen.

 

The Thoughts and Prayers for Today’s Verse are written by Phil Ware. You can email questions or comments to phil@heartlight.org.

 

 

BIRTHDAY VERSE” OF THE DAY

The chapter and verse corresponds to the month and the day!

2 Samuel 7:29 NIV = Now be pleased to bless the house of your servant, that it may continue forever in your sight; for you, O Sovereign LORD, have spoken, and with your blessing the house of your servant will be blessed forever.”

 

 

TODAY IS WEDNESDAY – JULY 29, 2015

(NOTE: Some holidays may be duplicated due to various calendars reporting conflicting dates)
WEIRD, WACKY, STRANGE, ZANY, ODD, BIZARRE, QUIRKY, UNUSUAL HOLIDAYS!
THERE ARE ONLY 150 SHOPPING DAYS UNTIL CHRISTMAS.  

 

This is REG MORRIS DAY. In 1988 Reg Morris of Walsall, England, crawled on his hands and knees a world record 28.5 miles. You may recall that three years earlier Reg carried a brick 61 miles.  ***MARLAR: Okay, maybe you WON’T recall that… because nobody cares.

 

Today is NATIONAL LASAGNA DAY. ***MARLAR: There is nothing funny to say about this one – I believe we should all, out of a deep feeling of respect, celebrate it though.

 

Today is NATIONAL PHOTOGRAPH YOUR CHILDREN WHEN THEY’RE NOT LOOKING DAY. ***MARLAR: My parents did that to my brother while he was potty-training… and then used the photos to blackmail him when he was in junior-high school.

 

Today is BAJDKBAM DAY, a day to act silly and goofy. ***MARLAR: Or just SOUND silly and goofy trying to pronounce the word “bajdkbam”.

 

 

 

TODAY IS ALSO. . .

Lasagna Day

National Chicken Wing Day

Rain Day

 

 

COMING UP NEXT

THURSDAY, JULY 30

Cheesecake Day

Father-in-Law Day

Friendship Day

Health Care Now! (Medicare’s Birthday)

International Day of Friendship

National Support Public Education Day

Paperback Book Day

National Chili Dog Day

 

FRIDAY, JULY 31

National Talk in an Elevator Day

System Administrator Appreciation Day

Uncommon Instruments Awareness Day

World Ranger Day

 

SATURDAY, AUGUST 01

Girlfriend’s Day

India Pale Ale Beer Day

Mead Day

National Minority Donor Awareness Day

National Mustard Day

Respect For Parents

Rounds Resounding Day

Sandcastle Day

Spider-Man Day

US Air Force Day

World Lung Cancer Day

World Wide Web Day

World Scout Scarf Day

 

SUNDAY, AUGUST 02

Friendship Day

National Doll Day

National Kids’ Day

Sister’s Day

Take a Penny/Leave a Penny Day

 

MONDAY, AUGUST 03

Assistance Dog Day

Friendship Day

National Psychic Day

Watermelon Day

 

TUESDAY, AUGUST 04

Coast Guard Day

National Chocolate Chip Day

Single Working Women’s Day

Social Security Day

National Night Out

 

WEDNESDAY, AUGUST 05

National Oyster Day

National Underwear Day

 

 

ON THIS DAY

1866: Thomas Chisholm was born. The American Methodist pastor wrote 1,200 poems, one of which became the familiar hymn “Great Is Thy Faithfulness.”

 

1955: Johnny Cash recorded “Folsom Prison Blues.” He had written the song after seeing the movie Inside the Walls of Folsom Prison. The song hit in 1956 and again in 1968.

 

1957: Jack Paar debuted as host of “The Tonight Show.” The late-night NBC-TV show had been hosted previously by Steve Allen and Ernie Kovaks. Guest hosts filled in for six months in 1962, then came Johnny Carson and Jay Leno.

 

1963: Peter, Paul and Mary released “Blowin’ In The Wind.”

 

1967: Louis Armstrong recorded “What A Wonderful World.” He insisted on singing the song only once. ABC Records used the first and only take.

 

1981: Hundreds of millions watched on television as Britain’s Prince Charles and Lady Diana Spencer were married at St. Paul’s Cathedral in London. Even North American networks carried the ceremony live though it was in the wee hours of the morning. The couple divorced in 1996.

 

1988: Federal regulators shut down the largest bank in Texas, First RepublicBank of Dallas, and sold it to North Carolina National Bank.

 

1988: Reg Morris of Walsall, England, crawled on his hands and knees a world record 28.5 miles. You may recall that three years earlier Reg carried a brick 61 miles.

 

1995: InStyle magazine reported that fitness guru Richard Simmons had outfitted his minivan with doggie seats and special airbags to protect his new Dalmatian puppies.

 

1996: Carl Lewis won his ninth Olympic gold medal by winning the long jump competition., tying swimmer Mark Spitz for most golds by an American athlete.

 

2002: An American explorer who had survived seven expeditions to the Antarctic cut off three toes mowing his lawn. The 53-year-old explorer, from Galena, Illinois, was forced to delay an eighth Antarctic trip by several months. He said the embarrassment was almost as bad as losing the toes.

 

2003: Boston’s Bill Mueller became the first player in major league history to hit grand slam home runs from both sides of the plate in a game. He also hit a third homer in a 14-7 win against the Rangers in Texas.

 

2005: Astronomers announced that they’d discovered a new planet larger than Pluto in orbit around the sun.

 

 

TODAY IN CHRISTIAN HISTORY

1030: Viking king Olaf Haraldsson, patron saint of Norway, dies in the battle of Stiklestad. Though limited in his ability to force his countrymen to convert during his reign, his death was later hailed as a miracle-filled martyrdom and, as his legend grew, it spurred on Christians converting the country. In time, Olaf became one of the most well-known saints of medieval Christendom, and his relics in Norway became one of Europe’s most popular pilgrimage destinations.

 

1794: In a converted blacksmith’s shop in Philadelphia, former slave Richard Allen assembles a group of black Christians who had faced discrimination in the local Methodist Episcopal Church. They formed the Bethel African Methodist Episcopal Church, the mother church of the African Methodist Episcopal Church, now known throughout the world.

 

1833: English abolitionist William Wilberforce dies a mere three days after England abolishes slavery.

 

1965: M. R. DeHaan, founder of the Radio Bible Class, is seriously injured in a car accident.

 

1968: Pope Paul VI publishes his encyclical “Humanae Vitae,” which condemns artificial birth control methods.

 

 

HOLLYWOOD, SPORTS AND CELEBRITY FIGURE BIRTHDAYS

  • actor (Feardotcom, Blade, Cold Creek Manor) Stephen Dorff 42
  • actor (“Star Trek: The Next Generation”, “Eureka”) Wil Wheaton 44 (
    )
  • actor (Oh God! Book Two) Rodney Allen Rippy 48

 

 

BEE-BOP BIRTHDAYS

(Music Artist Birthdays From SongFacts.com)

1887 : Sigmund Romberg

1917 : Henry D. “Homer” Haynes (Homer and Jethro)

1933 : Randy Sparks (The New Christie Minstrels)

1946 : Neal Doughty (REO Speedwagon)

1947 : Carlo Paul Santanna (Paper Lace)

1953 : Geddy Lee (Rush)

1953 : Patty Scialfa (Bruce Springsteen‘s E Street Band)

1959 : John Sykes (Whitesnake)

1966 : Martina McBride

1967 : Chris Gorman (Belly)

1973 : Wanya Morris (Boyz II Men)

 

 

SECRETS OF THE UNIVERSE

How much of a tree that’s been cut for timber actually ends up as usable wood?

The timber industry goes against the grain of cost efficiency. Between the tree and your dining table, most of what was originally standing ends up as waste. Picture yourself dismembering a carrot for a salad. You begin by lopping off the top, right? Lumberjacks do the same to a tree, removing its top and its branches before they even yell “timber”. By the time what’s left is on its way to a mill, as much as half of its original volume is gone. Another twenty-five percent is left in the sawmill, much of it as sawdust. Hey, they have to have something to put on the barroom floor, don’t they? Another eighth is wasted in machining the lumber for the final product. That leaves as little as an eighth of the original tree. ***You could say all that is left is a chip off the old block. (Edited from Tricky Trivia)

 

 

CHRISTIAN ARTIST NEWS

Do you like the Christian Artist News you see below? It’s just a tiny sample of the 5-6 pages of material you could be receive every weekday… and it’s FREE! Become one of their subscribers at ChristianRadioShowPrepServices.com!

 

Newsboys drummer Duncan Phillips is asking for your prayers. He and the rest of the Newsboys are on their way to South Africa. They will be playing three concerts in the country later this week.

 

Matthew West was struggling with temptation this week. He and his band were playing the Jones County Fair and Matthew tweeted: Must. Resist. Corn Dog.

 

Natalie Grant is sharing more about her decision to be only the second Christian artist ever featured on the cover of the First for Women magazine. Natalie says her original response after learning it was the summer issue and she would be posing in a bathing suit was to say no. But after praying about it Natalie says she decided it was an opportunity she shouldn’t pass up. Natalie said she came up with a specific list of parameters so, when the magazine agreed, she felt peace from God to move forward. Natalie’s focus while sharing about how she lost 40 pounds was that treating her body right is Godly since her body is a temple of the Holy Spirit. Natalie added that the photo used on the cover had to also be approved by both her husband and her father before going to press.

https://instagram.com/p/5kVNYFrX8W/?taken-by=nataliegrant

 

Darlene Zschech was unpacking books this week and found a very special book. It was the Bible she received when she got saved. The worship leader from Australia said her heart nearly exploded. She shared: Love these memories. God is SO faithful!

 

Plumb is taking her pastors message to heart. He suggested on Sunday that they list five things they are thankful for each day for the next five days. Plumb is doing that on Instagram over the course of the week. You can follow along and also share your five things by following Plumb on Instagram.

 

Building 429 front man Jason Roy was recently sharing his thoughts on Building the Kingdom of God. Jason says: as in everything in life, there are two different directions that a person can move: forward or backwards. Jason admits: I find myself wondering at times which one I’m doing. http://t.co/pSajaigedD

 

First there was twitter, allowing artists to text about every aspect of their lives. Now that avenue has by expanded to video with the advent of Periscope. The Sidewalk Prophets are just one band broadcasting live on Periscope but, if you are not following them, you missed the chance to see guitarist Ben McDonald eating the world’s biggest hamburger over the weekend.

 

 

WEIRD & WACKY

Former 41-pound fat cat in Texas slims down to 19 pounds    photo
DALLAS (AP) — A former 41-pound cat dubbed Skinny has lost more than half of his weight to become the darling of a Dallas veterinary clinic. Dr. Brittney Barton says the orange tabby she adopted in 2013 has slimmed down to 19 pounds with exercise and a special diet. Barton calls Skinny the…

 

ATM workers forget bag of cash, man drives off with $150K
MAHWAH, N.J. (AP) — Police say a man drove off with a bag containing $150,000 in cash after two employees who were replenishing ATMs mistakenly left it on a lawn in northern New Jersey. Mahwah police say in a news release that the ATM employees had stopped at a business on Industrial Avenue…
Oldest ever giant panda celebrates with bamboo, veggie cake    photo
HONG KONG (AP) — The oldest giant panda ever in captivity tasted a vegetable ice cake and, of course, bamboo in celebration of her 37th birthday. Jia Jia was recognized Tuesday as holding two Guinness World Records, the oldest ever and the oldest living giant panda. Her mate, An An, also…
Putrid-smelling flower attracts large crowds in California
BERKELEY, Calif. (AP) — Officials with UC Berkeley’s botanical garden say the garden had its busiest day in more than a decade as people flocked to get a whiff of the “corpse flower,” a plant known for its pungent odor. HASH(0x1416c90) Associate director for visitors services Jonathan…
Hiker climbs tree to escape coyotes, gets stuck for 5 hours
MANCHESTER, N.J. (AP) — A hiker trying to escape from coyotes in a wooded area of southern New Jersey has gotten stuck in a tree for nearly five hours. HASH(0x1393ad0) The Quakertown, Pennsylvania, resident thought she had spotted coyotes in the distance and climbed the tree for safety. Lewis…
Get the waffles! Maple syrup spills on New Hampshire highway
KEENE, N.H. (AP) — The only thing missing was the waffles. Authorities in Keene, New Hampshire, were in for some sticky times when a load of maple syrup shifted in a tractor trailer and leaked very slowly all over a main highway. Police Sgt. Thaddeus Derendal says about 220 gallons of the…
3 sets of twins born same day at Montana hospital    photo
BOZEMAN, Mont. (AP) — Three sets of fraternal twins were born on the same day at a Bozeman, Montana, hospital — adding up to more than half of the hospital’s births that day. The Bozeman Daily Chronicle reports (http://bit.ly/1JLs91n) the first of the trio of twins was born at Bozeman…
New Jersey chain saw artist has tools swiped
BRIDGETON, N.J. (AP) — A New Jersey chain saw artist says somebody nicked his tools. Brian “Ackmonster” Ackley says someone broke into his workshop and made off with all 10 of his saws. Ackley tells WCAU-TV (http://bit.ly/1KsB6Ta) he’s been doing chain saw carvings for 15 years, creating…
Owl with an attitude wins face-off with deputy    photo
BOULDER, Colo. (AP) — A Boulder County sheriff’s deputy got into a face-off with an owl with an attitude, and the owl won. Deputy Sophie Berman came across the raptor on a dirt road on Tuesday as Berman patrolled an area near a campground west of Boulder. Berman crouched down to take video of…
1 car, 2 DUIs after passenger jumps in driver’s seat
ROCKINGHAM, Vt. (AP) — One traffic stop netted two drunk-driving arrests in Vermont after police say a backseat passenger jumped in the driver’s seat. State police say they stopped a car early Sunday on Interstate 91 in Rockingham after it was clocked doing 106 mph. Authorities say they got…
Swiss army makes incursion into France for water for cattle
PARIS (AP) — Swiss army helicopters have crossed the Franco-Swiss border in an unexpected incursion — to help thirsty Swiss cows. The aerial operation to scoop up water caught authorities responsible for Rousses Lake in the Jura mountains by surprise last Thursday. The helicopters also…

 

 

 

HEALTH & FITNESS

High costs plague some state-run health insurance markets    photo
WASHINGTON (AP) — State-run health insurance markets that offer coverage under President Barack Obama’s health law are struggling with high costs and disappointing enrollment. These challenges could lead more of them to turn over operations to the federal government or join forces with other…

 

Planned Parenthood official says no profit from fetal organs    photo
WASHINGTON (AP) — The president of Planned Parenthood said her organization’s clinics never adjust the abortion procedure to better preserve fetal organs for medical research and that the organization’s charges cover only the cost of transmission to researchers. Planned Parenthood has come…
FDA OKs breakthrough cholesterol drug for high-risk patients    photo
WASHINGTON (AP) — The Food and Drug Administration on Friday approved a first-of-a-kind drug that lowers artery-clogging cholesterol more than older drugs that have been prescribed for decades. The drug from Sanofi and Regeneron Pharmaceuticals Inc. offers an important new option for millions…
Beverage group sues city over soda warnings, advertising ban
SAN FRANCISCO (AP) — The American Beverage Association has sued the city of San Francisco, claiming new legislation requiring health warning labels on sugary beverages and prohibiting advertisements of them on city property violates the First Amendment. The San Francisco Chronicle reports…
Brain disorder center’s closing sends ripples nationwide    photo
CONCORD, N.H. (AP) — When Tyler Richardson’s son hit puberty, the combination of hormones and new strength from a growth spurt added an element of danger to a long history of unpredictable behavior because of autism and severe anger problems. He wandered outside one day after his aides left…
Judge rules Alzheimer’s project belongs to UC San Diego
LOS ANGELES (AP) — A judge has ruled that control of a landmark project on Alzheimer’s disease belongs to the University of California, San Diego — handing the school a major victory in its lawsuit against the University of Southern California. UC San Diego sued after Alzheimer’s…
Lifestyle changes may guard aging brain against memory loss    photo
WASHINGTON (AP) — The latest Alzheimer’s research has a clear theme: Change your lifestyle to protect your brain. It will take several years for scientists to prove whether some experimental drugs could at least delay Alzheimer’s disease, and an aging population is at risk now. Whatever…
FDA OK’s Odomzo from Novartis for common skin cancer type
EAST RUTHERFORD, N.J. (AP) — A new drug for advanced basal cell carcinoma, an increasingly common cancer in the skin’s top layer, has won Food and Drug Administration approval. Odomzo (pronounced ah-DOMM’-zoh) was approved for patients whose cancer hasn’t spread to other body parts, but…
EU regulator recommends 1st license for malaria vaccine    photo
LONDON (AP) — The European Medicines Agency has recommended approving what would be the world’s first licensed malaria vaccine, even though it’s only about 30 percent effective and its protection fades over time. In a statement Friday, the agency endorsed the vaccine’s use outside Europe, a…
Nigeria celebrates 1 year with no new polio cases    photo
LAGOS, Nigeria (AP) — Once stigmatized as the world’s polio epicenter, Nigeria on Friday celebrates its first year with no reported case of the crippling disease, having overcome obstacles ranging from Islamic extremists who assassinated vaccinators to rumors the vaccine was a plot to…
State health insurance markets struggle with cost challenges    photo
WASHINGTON (AP) — State-run health insurance markets that offer coverage under President Barack Obama’s health law are struggling with high costs and disappointing enrollment. These challenges could lead more of them to turn over operations to the federal government or join forces with other…

 

 

NEWS KICKERS

(None on the weekends)

 

NEW NEWS KICKERS…

Google now features the ability to “un-send” an email message you may be having second thoughts about. You can un-send for up to 30 seconds.  *** That’s not nearly enough time.  Typically I’m still fuming up to 30 HOURS later before I calm down enough to realize sending that email was a bad idea.

 

Officials in Beaver Dam, Wisconsin, have changed a city rules on service animals after a woman took a baby kangaroo into a McDonald’s.  The woman says the kangaroo is a therapy animal to help her cope with emotional distress. But the Beaver Dam City Council voted 14-0 to define a service animal as a dog or miniature horse, but not a kangaroo.  *** A miniature horse?!?  The only way that’s a service animal is if you’re using it as a pack animal – and even then, you tie it to a post outside the saloon, you don’t bring it in.

 

Bob Sabo of Easton, Connecticut, says he didn’t want to wait in line to buy a lottery ticket at a Super Stop & Shop recently, so he decided to buy a ticket from a lottery vending machine. He wasn’t wearing his glasses and mistakenly bought the wrong lottery ticket. Even still, the ticket he ended up with won him $30,000.  *** But since it was the wrong number, I’m open to taking that ticket off your hands, Bob – I’d be more than willing to do you that favor.

 

Outside Britain’s Windsor Castle recently, a tourist made the mistake of placing his hand on the back shoulder of one of the Queen Elizabeth’s guards. The guard yelled: “Step back from the Queen’s Guard,” then grabbed his machine gun and pointed it directly at the tourist’s head.  *** Apparently that’s what gun control looks like in England.

 

 

NEWS KICKER EVERGREENS…

Scientists have created a real-life thinking cap that works by zapping electricity through the brain.  The weird-looking headwear has had extraordinary results and experts believe it could help people be more creative.  The device was dreamt up by the University of Sydney’s Centre for the Mind in Australia and suppresses the left side of the brain to encourage the more creative right side into action.  But Centre director Allan Snyder said students hoping to use it to study up before exams would be disappointed.   He said: “You wouldn’t use this to study or to help your memory.  “You would use this if you wanted to look at a problem anew. ***MARLAR: Like figuring out why you can’t get dates because you look like a dork with a metal memory helmet on your head.

 

A new study found that those who drink a fair amount of sweetened sodas and fruit drinks – whether diet or regular – have an increased risk of depression. Java-drinkers, on the other hand, have a slightly lower risk of the blues.  The study was presented at the American Academy of Neurology’s annual meeting in San Diego.  ***MARLAR: So if java lowers your risk of depression, and soda raises your risk of depression, to be completely normal you have to drink carbonated coffee.

 

Ladies, if you call your closest girlfriend to vent about your husband’s diehard devotion to golf, you know it’s a relief to express your feelings. It was reported in Ladies’ Home Journal, that now researchers have discovered why. According to a study from UCLA, attaching words to a feeling reduces activity in the part of the brain that controls our biological response to emotions, such as increased heart rate when we’re angry. “Expressing your feelings in words short circuits the body’s reaction by preventing stress hormones from being released,” says lead author Matthew D. Lieberman, an associate professor of psychology.  ***MARLAR: What if what really irks you about your spouse is that they always call someone to complain about you?

 

How far would you go to save a friendship? Would you get professional help? That’s the latest trend, it seems. Friendship counseling. More than 10-thousand psychologists and counselors are offering sessions on relationships with friends in the United States. It’s not cheap. Sessions can cost anywhere between $75 and $200 for an hour.  ***MARLAR: At which point you again risk losing your friend when you try to get them to pay once in a while.

 

 

WONDER WOMAN

CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD TODAY’S EPISODE… “Artificial Lemons”

 

 

DAILY COMEDY CLIP

CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD TODAY’S EPISODE… Scott Gregory, “British Baseball”

 

 

AS THE JUNGLE TURNS – WEEKDAY VERSION

CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD WEDNESDAY’S EPISODE
OPEN: Last time on As the Jungle Turns, Millard the Monkey discovered, quite by accident, that dropping a coconut on your head – while painful – also gives a mild, pleasant, buzz sensation. So Millard kept dropping a coconut on his head. Again, and again, and again! Let’s find out what happens, as FancyMonkey.com, (Show Name), and (Station Call Letters) bring you As the Jungle Turns!

 

CLOSE: Should Sully try clunking just because the other animals are doing it? And just because everyone is doing it, does that necessarily make it okay? Tune in again next time, as FancyMonkey.com, (Show Name), and (Station Call Letters) bring you As the Jungle Turns!

 

 

AS THE JUNGLE TURNS – SATURDAY/SUNDAY VERSION

CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD THE EPISODE FOR THE WEEKEND OF AUGUST 01/02, 2015
OPEN: And now, FancyMonkey.com, (Show Name), and (Station Call Letters) bring you As the Jungle Turns! When last we left the jungle island of Razzleflabbin, Marvy Snuffelson nailed down the hands on the island’s calendar clock so everyone would think every day was Saturday! Unfortunately, it’s been many, many days of Saturdays. There’s no food, and everyone is at each other’s throats wondering who is to blame!

 

CLOSE: Now that Marvy has come clean with what he’s done, will Razzleflabbin Island get back to normal? Will Karl stay? Find out next time, As the Jungle Turns!

 

***You may simulcast “As the Jungle Turns” on the Internet stream of your live broadcast only. Any other Internet use of As the Jungle Turns in whole or part including podcasting of your live broadcast is a violation of copyright law. Thank you for your cooperation on this vitally important issue. If you have any questions, please e-mail us.

 

 

MOMENT OF DUH

Cutbacks and layoff are never fun – but they can be funny!

Walkers Potato Chips, a Pepsi-owned British potato chip company, just laid off 250 employees.  Laying off 250 workers at one time doesn’t take a lot of genius, unless you consider that the person who did the laying off still has his job.  But the true Moment of DUH is in the details of the firings.  Each person who was fired received a nice parting gift from his ex-employer.  You guessed it… the goodbye “gift” was a bag of potato chips.

 

 

TOP TEN

TOP TEN COUNTRY PEARLS OF WISDOM

 

  1. Don’t name a pig you plan to eat.2. Life is not about how fast you run, or how high you climb, but how well you bounce.

    3. Keep skunks and bankers at a distance.

    4. A bumble-bee is faster than a John Deere tractor.

    5. Don’t skinny dip with snapping turtles.

 

  1. Never lay an angry hand on a kid or an animal, it just ain’t helpful.

 

  1. Teachers, bankers, and hoot owls sleep with one eye open.

 

  1. Words that soak into your ears are whispered, not yelled.9. Meanness don’t happen overnight.

 

  1. Forgive your enemies. It messes with their heads.

 

 

THE FILES OF LAW & DISORDER

Some people try to steal cable TV. Others try to steal cable TV repair trucks!

 

FILE #1: A Brighthouse Networks cable repairman was in a cherry picker truck fixing lines 25 feet in the air when a Bakersfield, California, man decided to steal the vehicle. The thief tore down several phone lines before crashing into a utility pole. Repairman Curtis Bartell got a wild ride but did not suffer any major injuries. The 29-year-old thief was arrested less than 24 hours later.

 

FILE #2: If you know the police have a warrant out for your arrest, paranoia can be your worst enemy!  When Daniel Willard Rhodes saw a police helicopter overhead, he dove into a storm drain to escape the manhunt. The Largo, Florida, man knew there was a warrant out for his arrest for violating probation and figured the cops were on to him. But as he crawled around the storm drain system, he got lost. The next day, he found a street opening and called up to a passerby, begging for rescue. The passerby called 911, bringing a full-scale response from rescue crews — including sheriff’s deputies, who had the joy of informing Rhodes that the helicopter hadn’t been looking for him, and that they don’t use choppers to search for people with small-time warrants.

 

FILE #3: Police in central New Jersey say they arrested a man for burglary after he returned to the victim’s house in Rahway to apologize. Rahway police arrested 35-year-old Craig Fletcher of Elizabeth shortly after the homeowner told them a man had just rung his doorbell, apologized for the break-in and ran off on foot. The homeowner said he interrupted the burglary. He chased the burglar, who had stuff three laptops and an Xbox game console into a backpack. The intruder threw the bag down and got away.

 

STRANGE LAW: In Port Huron, Michigan, the speed limit for ambulances is only 20 m.p.h.

 

 

THIS IS YOUR BRAIN ON DRUGS

If you’re going to pass someone on the highway, first make sure your brain isn’t on drugs!

James Davis was in a hurry. And you know how frustrating it is when the car in front of you is just creeping along. That’s what was happening, so he decided to express his irritation by honking at the car. That in itself isn’t such a bad idea. It’s the fact that the slow traveling car was a police cruiser that got him into trouble. Things got even worse when the cops pulled him over to see what the rush was and discovered Mr. Davis was intoxicated. He’s been arrested.

 

 

PHONER PHUN

How Far Would You Drive To Save On Gas? If you could save 20-cents per gallon, how far would you go? 5-10 miles? 10-15? 15-20? More?

 

If you could do the same work for the same pay but live anywhere in the world, where would it be?

 

 

BIBLE BRAIN BUSTER!

QUESTION: Into how many parts did the soldiers divide Jesus’ garments?

ANSWER: Four parts (John 19:23 = Then the soldiers, when they had crucified Jesus, took his garments, and made four parts, to every soldier a part; and also his coat: now the coat was without seam, woven from the top throughout.)

 

 

QUESTION IMPOSSIBLE

QUESTION: How many muscles does the average garden-variety caterpillar have in its head?

ANSWER: 248

 

 

TRUE OR FALSE

Pay attention! If our next player doesn’t answer all ten T/F questions correctly we start all over from question #1! First person to answer question #10 correctly is our winner!

 

  1. The United States would fit into the continent of Africa three-and-a-half times. (True)

 

  1. There are approximately three thousand lakes in Alaska. (False – there are more than three million! The largest, Lake Iliamna, is the size of Connecticut.)

 

  1. In proportion, if Jupiter were a basketball, then the sun would be the size of the Louisiana Super Dome. (True)

 

  1. One Neptune year lasts 5 Earth years. (False – 165 years)

 

  1. 570 gallons of paint would be needed to paint the outside of the White House. (True)

 

  1. By law, information collected in a U.S. census must remain confidential for seventy-two years. (True)

 

  1. Centuries ago in India, a person could get their nose chopped off for breaking the law. (True)

 

  1. “Barf” means “snow” in the Persian language. (True)

 

  1. Native Americans once used woodpecker scalps as jewelry. (False – as currency)

 

  1. During the course of a year, the average person walks four miles to make their bed. (True… assuming you make your bed!)

 

 

TABLOID MATCH GAME

You have to match the blank in the tabloid headline with the word or phrase that has been removed!

_____ PASSES SPACE STATION (ALIEN SPACESHIP)

(From July 25, 2011) An alien spaceship based by the International Space Station – shooting warning lasers as it went by. The  crew aboard the International Space Station were shocked to see a purple spaceship circle the space station in a threatening manner.  They astronauts were all sleeping at the time and said that the spaceship seemed to “come out of nowhere.” The crew from Expedition 28 has only been on the International Space Station since June.  The astronauts alerted NASA immediately of the breech in ISS security.  “They broke through our force field with ease,” said astronaut Kevin Janowick. NASA, however, could not see any evidence of the spaceship, but the astronauts all confirmed seeing it and felt that they were in “extreme danger.” ***MARLAR: Even more interesting than space aliens – apparently, according to this story, the space station has force fields!  Who knew?

 

 

THE WAY TOO EARLY IN THE MORNING TO UNDERSTAND THE PUNCHLINE EVEN AFTER TWO CUPS OF COFFEE JOKE OF THE DAY

JOKE #1

A strong young man at the construction site was bragging that he could outdo anyone in a feat of strength. He made a special case of making fun of Morris, one of the older workmen. After several minutes, Morris had enough.
“Why don’t you put your money where your mouth is?” he said. “I will bet a week’s wages that I can haul something in a wheelbarrow over to that outbuilding that you won’t be able to wheel back.”
“You’re on, old man,” the braggart replied. “It’s a bet! Let’s see what you got.”
Morris reached out and grabbed the wheelbarrow by the handles. Then, nodding to the young man, he said, “All right. Get in.”

 

JOKE #2

“What happened to you?” asked the bystander of the man lying on the sidewalk outside of the beauty parlor. 
The man shook his head groggily and rubbed his bruised chin. “Well, the last thing I remember was my wife coming out of the beauty salon. I took one look at her and said, ‘Well, Honey, … at least you tried.'”

 

JOKE #3

This is hilarious – no wonder some people were so offended! This is the message that the Pacific Palisades High School California staff voted unanimously to record on their school telephone answering machine.

This is the actual answering machine message for the school. This came about because they implemented a policy requiring students and parents to be responsible for their children’s absences and missing homework.

The school and teachers are being sued by parents who want their children’s failing grades changed to passing grades – even though those children were absent 15-30 times during the semester and did not complete enough school work to pass their classes.

 

The outgoing message:

 

Hello! You have reached the automated answering service of your school. In order to assist you in connecting to the right staff member, please listen to all the options before making a selection:

To lie about why your child is absent – Press 1

To make excuses for why your child did not do his work -Press 2

To complain about what we do – Press 3

To swear at staff members – Press 4

To ask why you didn’t get information that was already enclosed in your newsletter and several flyers mailed to you – Press 5

If you want us to raise your child – Press 6

If you want to reach out and touch, slap or hit someone – Press 7

To request another teacher, for the third time this year – Press 8

To complain about bus transportation – Press 9

To complain about school lunches – Press 0

If you realize this is the real world and your child must be accountable and responsible for his/her own behavior, class work, homework and that it’s not the teachers’ fault for your child’s lack of effort:  Hang up and have a nice day!

If you want this in Spanish, move to a country that speaks it!

 

 

USELESS FACTS

Doctors studying airline passengers say being crammed in a tight airplane seat for hours could result in something called “economy class syndrome,” which is a blood clot in the leg that can actually be fatal. ***MARLAR: Not to worry though – the airline food will kill you first.

 

Scarlett Johansson, who is the face of cosmetics giant L’Oreal, admits she isn’t afraid to use plastic surgery in the future to avoid growing old ungracefully. She says, “I will definitely have plastic surgery — I don’t want to become an old hag!”  ***MARLAR: But apparently she’s fine with being shallow.

 

 

FEATURED FUNNIES

SPECIAL DAY

I bet you don’t know what day this is”, said the wife to her husband as he made his way out the front door. The husband was perplexed, but was always a quick thinker: “Of course I do, my dear. How could I forget!?” With that, he turned and rushed to catch the bus for work.
At 10 AM, the doorbell rang and when the woman opened the door, she was handed a box containing a dozen long stemmed red roses.
At 1 PM, a foil wrapped, two pound box of her favorite chocolates arrived. Later, a boutique delivered a designer dress. The woman couldn’t wait for her husband to come home.
The husband was smug when he returned from work, satisfied that he had recovered what could have been a very bad situation.
His wife was indeed surprised: “First the flowers, then the chocolates and then the dress!” she exclaimed, “I’ve never had a more wonderful Groundhog Day in my life!”

 

 

IT MUST BE TRUE BECAUSE I HEARD IT ON THE RADIO!

YOU MIGHT SAY HE’S JUST A FRUIT, BUT…

When God calls you to something… you do it! Right? What if God called you to wear a silly little red pepper costume and jump up and down at a grocery store for a living? You guessed it… it’s a true story.

Kenny Carter is now known as Peppy the Pepper at the Super Fresh Stop. His job? Just greet people at the door. And Kenny claims that God actually told him to do it – TOLD him to be a vegetable!  Apparently, it was a very intense worship service that Kenny was in when God spoke to him. Kenny did not believe it at first, but God spoke to him again. “You will be a vegetable.” Before venturing forth in his new God-given career, Kenny used to be a drug-dealer and a pimp. He’d spent many years in jail and rehab as well. After the church service, Kenny asked a friend to make him a pepper costume, he made up a song, and then asked his store manager to let him try out his act on shoppers. The shoppers love it, and now Kenny travels around the entire grocery chain. ***MARLAR: You know, people are called to different things, I guess. And who am I to say that God couldn’t call a guy to be a vegetable? But, ironically, look at Kenny’s life… if he’d continued in the drug abuse, he may have ended up as a vegetable anyway. I think God appreciates that kind of irony, don’t you?

 

 

INSPIRATIONAL INSPIRATION

It was a rainy bone-chilling night. A young seminary student was working in a homeless shelter which housed over 100 and on this cold evening more had come to be housed than there were cots or mats. As often happens when there is a shortage, disagreements broke out. The minority groups argued that they were not being fairly treated. It was beginning to look like emotions were getting out of hand – more than the employee, the young seminary student, in charge could handle. Then the door opened and in stumbled a tattered man. With the unsteady gate of the inebriated, he managed to get to a mat in the middle of the room, plop down, pull off his boots, and immediately go to sleep.
Just as quickly everyone in the room became acutely aware of the stench from those boots and feet. Someone suggested that he be taken to the shower. It was impossible to awaken him. Well, then, carry him to the shower. But he weighed over 200 lbs. Then the seminary student thought of washing the feet where he was. No basin was available, so he went to the kitchen, found a bowl which he filled with warm water. The only soap quickly available was the lemon-scented dish soap, so he put that in the water. Finding a towel, he took the towel and water to the sleeping odoriferous man. Kneeling beside him, he requested that someone take the boots outside to air. Then he began trying to take off the encrusted socks. He finally managed, and sent them to the garbage outside the building. Then one by one, he put the man’s feet in the bowl and gently washed away the grime from his feet and ankles. The lemon scent from the soap helped the smell little. The water quickly became black. The seminary student was almost finished when

he happened to glance to see that he was surrounded. He obviously was the center of attention. What would be their response.
Completing his task, he slowly rose. The first face he noticed was a black man who normally wore a scowl. He was smiling, then he saw that everyone else was smiling also. Some who had taken both a mat and a cot, now shared the mat with someone who had none. In a spirit of helpfulness, everyone settled down to sleep, having received the greatest sermon this young preacher might ever preach.
–Author Unknown

 

 

DRIVE TIME DEVOTIONAL

DO WHAT YOU CAN

Read: Mark 14:1-9

She has done what she could. —Mark 14:8

As Mary of Bethany gave her best to Jesus (Mk. 14:1-9), so each of us must give in our own way the best we have to the Lord. Our efforts may not seem significant, but God can use them for His glory.

  1. L. Moody told the story of a man who was crossing the Atlantic by ship. He was terribly seasick and confined to his cabin. One night he heard the cry “Man overboard!” But he felt that there was nothing he could do to help. Then he said to himself, “I can at least put my lantern in the porthole.” He struggled to his feet and hung the light so it would shine out into the darkness.

The next day he learned that the person who was rescued said, “I was going down in the dark night for the last time when someone put a light in a porthole. As it shone on my hand, a sailor in a lifeboat grabbed it and pulled me in.”

Everyone holding forth his own light, or using his one talent, no matter how small, will help accomplish God’s purpose on this earth, and will thus glorify the Savior. What a joy it will be when the Master looks into your eyes in that future day and with a loving smile of approval says, “Well done, good and faithful servant . . . . Enter into the joy of your Lord” (Mt. 25:21).

 

 

LEFTOVERS

AND HE LIVES ON 34TH STREET

A Utah man has changed his name to Santa Claus.

…A state district court originally banned David Porter from taking the name saying it might have a “chilling effect” on anyone who wanted to sue him in the future. (Imagine trying to sue Santa Claus… you Grinch!) But the Utah Supreme Court in Salt Lake City has now given its blessing to the name swap. Mr. Claus, who bleaches his naturally red hair white every month, said: “I have a big bushy white beard. I have a big tummy and glasses. I look pretty authentic.” He also takes the month of December off to make appearances at private parties.  ***MARLAR: How can you take the month of December off from work and still call yourself Santa Claus?

 

 

LIFE… LIVE IT

Is working out with a heart condition a bad idea? Turns out it may not be so bad after all!

Telling heart patients to really push themselves during exercise sounds risky. But a growing body of research suggests that a workout routine athletes use to get in shape may do the same for some patients.  Some scientists and clinics are backing the use of high-intensity interval training, which involves short spurts of intense exercise at 85 to 95 percent of maximum heart rate alternating with periods of moderate exercise. Heart patients have traditionally built up fitness with steady sessions of aerobic exercise aimed at keeping the heart beating at about 70 percent of its maximum rate. That’s meant to give the heart a workout without risking chest pain or a cardiac event.

 

 

JUST FOR FUN

BAD FASHION

At what age does a man look at himself in the mirror and think, “You know, I think I’d look pretty good in sandals, black knee socks, plaid shorts with a wide-white belt… ooh, and also a yachting cap!”  Men have traditionally made bad fashion/grooming choices.

  • The shaved-head look:  Just when the comb-over went out of style, every balding man started shaving his head.  Michael Jordan looks great with a shaved head; you do not.
  • Hair plugs:  You never see “Phase 2” of a guy with hair plugs.  It always looks like somebody just plowed their head and planted corn.
  • Toupees:  Another bad idea from the French.  A Crepe Suzette is a pancake, an Escargot is a snail, a Biscotti is a burnt cookie, and a toupee is a WIG!  Trying to conceal baldness by wearing a wig is like trying to hide a big gut by wearing a black tank top.
  • Untrimmed ear and nose hair:  These are men who never learned to color inside the lines.  You look like you’re in the first stages of turning into a werewolf.  And some of these guys will also wear a wig!
  • Suspenders AND a Belt:  What is the plan here?  Is the belt for function and the suspenders for fashion?  These guys are probably wearing boxers AND briefs, or glasses AND contacts. The only thing I can figure is that these guys have a deep-seated fear of being trouser-jacked.

 

 

FUN LIST

CHURCH BULLETIN BLOOPERS

  • The youth group has raised almost $500 for drug abuse.
  • “Correction: The following typo appeared in our last bulletin: ‘Lunch will be gin at 12:15.’ Please correct to read ’12 noon.’ “
  • Any church member over the age of 18 is invited to participate in this lay ministry program. It requires a minimal amount of training and time. The orientation will include six weekly classes of about 200 hours each Tuesday night.
  • The Seniors group will have a picnic Saturday. Each person is asked to bring a friend, a vegetable, or dessert in a covered dish. Meat and drinks will be furnished.
  • The last day of Vacation Bible School will include a field trip to the state game farm. We could use some additional volunteers to help preparing the lunch of sandwiches, potato chips, cheese, crack, and cool aid that morning.
  • Remember the youth department rummage sale for Summer Camp.
  • We have a Gents three-speed bicycle, also two ladies for sale, in good running order.

 

 

MORE SHOW PREP STUFF…

GEEZER TEST

How old are you, really?  Is it true that age is only in the mind?  You’re as young as you feel?  We’ll find out if you’re an old geezer or not coming up with a quick quiz!  Grab a piece of paper and a pen or pencil!

  1. In the 1940’s, where were automobile headlight dimmer switches located on a car?
a. On the floor shift knob
b. On the floor board, to the left of the clutch
c. Next to the horn
(Answer… “B” – On the floor, to the left of the clutch. Hand controls, popular in Europe, took till the late ’60s to catch on.)
  2. The bottle top of a Royal Crown Cola bottle had holes in it. For what was it used?
a. Capture lightning bugs
b. To sprinkle clothes before ironing
c. Large salt shaker
(Answer… “B”… to sprinkle clothes before ironing. Who had a steam iron?)
  3. Why was having milk delivered a problem in northern winters?
a. Cows got cold and wouldn’t produce milk
b. Ice on highways forced delivery by dog sled
c. Milkmen left deliveries outside of front doors and milk would freeze, expanding and pushing up the cardboard bottle top.
(Answer… “C”… cold weather caused the milk to freeze and expand, popping the bottle top.)
  4. Name a formerly popular chewing gum named for a game of chance?
a. Blackjack
b. Gin
c. Craps!
(Answer: “A”… Blackjack Gum)
  5. What method did women use to look as if they were wearing stockings when none were available due to rationing during W.W.II?
a. Suntan
b. Leg painting
c. Wearing slacks
(Answer… “B”… special makeup was applied, followed by drawing a seam down the back of the leg with eyebrow pencil.)
  6. What postwar car turned automotive design on its ear when you couldn’t tell whether it was coming or going?
a. Studebaker
b. Nash Metro
c. Tucker
(Answer… “A”… 1946 Studebaker.)
  7. Which was a popular candy when you were a kid?
a. Strips of dried peanut butter
b. Chocolate licorice bars
c. Wax coke shaped bottles with colored sugar water inside
(Answer… “C”… wax coke bottles containing super-sweet colored water.)
  8. How was Butch wax used?
a. To stiffen a flat-top haircut so it stood up
b. To make floors shiny and prevent scuffing
c. On the wheels of roller skates to prevent rust
(Answer… “A”… wax for your flat top [butch] haircut.)
  9. Before in-line skates, how did you keep your roller skates attached to your shoes?
a. With clamps, tightened by a skate key
b. Woven straps that crossed the foot
c. Long pieces of twine
(Answer… “A”… with clamps, tightened by a skate key, which you wore on a shoestring around your neck.)
  10. As a kid, what was considered the best way to reach a decision?
a. Consider all the facts
b. Ask Mom
c. Eeny-meeny-miney-mo
(Answer… “C”… Eeny-meeny-miney-mo.)
  11. What was the most dreaded disease in the 1940’s?
a. Smallpox
b. AIDS
c. Polio
(Answer… “C”… Polio. In beginning of August, swimming pools were closed, movies and other public gathering places were closed to try to prevent spread of the disease.)
  12. “I’ll be down to get you in a ________, Honey”
a. SUV
b. Taxi
c. Streetcar
(Answer… “B”… Taxi. Better be ready by half past eight!)
  13. What was the name of Caroline Kennedy’s pet pony?
a. Old Blue
b. Paint
c. Macaroni
(Answer… “C”… Macaroni.)
  14. What was Duck-and-Cover?
a. Part of the game of hide and seek
b. What you did when your mom called you in to do chores
c. Hiding under your desk, and covering your head with your arms in an A-bomb drill
(Answer… “C”… Hiding under your desk, and covering your head with your arms in an A-bomb drill.)
  15. What was the name of the Indian Princess on the Howdy Doody show?
a. Princess Summer Fall Winter Spring
b. Princess Sacajewea
c. Princess Moonshadow
(Answer… “A”… Princess Summer Fall Winter Spring. She was another puppet.)
  16. What did all the really savvy students do when mimeographed tests were handed out in school?
a. Immediately sniffed the purple ink, as this was believed to get you high
b. Made paper airplanes to see who could sail theirs out the window
c. Wrote another pupil’s name on the top, to avoid your failure
(Answer… “A”… Immediately sniffed the purple ink to get a high.)
  17. Why did your mom shop in stores that gave Green Stamps with purchases?
a. To keep you out of mischief by licking the backs, which tasted like bubble gum
b. They could be put in special books and redeemed for various household items
c. They were given to the kids to be used as stick-on tattoos
(Answer… “B”… Put in a special stamp book, they could be traded for household items at the Green Stamp store.)
  18. Praise the Lord, and pass the _________?
a. Meatballs
b. Dames
c. Ammunition
(Answer… “C”… Ammunition, and we’ll all be free.)
  19. What was the name of the singing group that made the song “Cabdriver” a hit?
a. The Ink Spots
b. The Supremes
c. The Esquires
(Answer… “A”… The all male, all black group: The Ink spots.)
  20. Who left his heart in San Francisco?
a. Tony Bennett
b. Xavier Cugat
c. George Gershwin
  21. (Answer… “A”… Tony Bennett, and he sounds just as good today.)

 

 

SCORING:

17- 20 correct: You are not only older than dirt, but obviously gifted with mind bloat. Now if you could only find your glasses.

12 -16 correct: Not quite dirt yet, but your mind is definitely muddy.

0 -11 correct: You are a sad excuse for an old geezer or you are younger than springtime!

 

 

TOTALLY OUTRAGEOUS!

(Mondays Only)

 

 

OTHER STUFF I WANT TO CRAM INTO TODAY’S PREP

What started as a police sting resulted in some good news instead. As part of an undercover operation, Vancouver police sergeant Mark Horsley grew some facial hair and borrowed an expensive wheelchair, making him an “easy mark” for criminals. Over the course of five days he sat in the chair with an open fanny pack. But instead of strangers snatching his money, 300 people made contact to ask if he had someone to care for him, find out if he needed food, or to offer money.

http://ow.ly/Qb4nm

 

A 66-year-old Alabama resident who spent 10 days stranded on the floor of his home after a bad fall is now safe and sound in a Montgomery hospital—and he has his local mail carrier to thank. According to Time Magazine, The mail carrier, Cissy Cartwright of Hope Hull, Ala., rescued Tommy Hope from his secluded rural home last week when she noticed he hadn’t checked his mail in an uncharacteristically long time. After making her way up Hope’s long driveway and noticing that his front door was wide open, Cartwright found Hope, who has a history of back problems, lying dehydrated with broken bones.  Would you know if your neighbor was in trouble?  In today’s society, we tend to stay to ourselves while reaching out via social media – but what about the person who lives right next to us in the real world?

http://ti.me/1OxhImy

 

Gregg Godfrey shattered the world record on Friday for the longest semi-truck jump — a whopping 166 feet in the air. The record breaking jump took place at Evel Knievel Days, an extreme sports festival in Butte, Montana. Although the jump is impressive enough, Godfrey ended his stunt with the perfect parallel parking job.

http://on.mash.to/1D2y2dP

 

 

AND I LEAVE YOU WITH THIS THOUGHT

Now I suppose I have to go home and mow the lawn. I couldn’t quite convince my wife that it’s a natural habitat for the spotted owl.

 

 

THE WAY WE WORK

(Updated as it comes available. The Way WE Work is written by Mark Elfstrand from 1160Hope.com in Chicago.)

Following Your Dreams Is Dangerous

Is there such a thing as an “entrepreneur gene?” You know, something innate that becomes the drive for some to take risks. To step out on their own. To follow their dreams.
I’m pretty sure my father had that innate drive. While family security was important, he had the urge to take on new things. His limited efforts in this way were not met with success. For a number of reasons.
My wiring definitely has some of that. I have stepped out aggressively more than once, raising capital for a new venture. And then I helped my wife start a publishing business several years ago. Additionally, I helped launch two nonprofits. It’s fun to be in the “start with a dream and see it work” business.
The verdict on whether genetics is involved is mixed. But what seems to be a very common indicator for success is a little more clear. And it has to do with…family money.
First, an Inc Magazine story on this topic reports findings from The Department of Twin Research and Genetic Epidemiology at Kings College, London. In short, their research concluded:
• 37 to 48 percent of the tendency to be an entrepreneur is genetic.
• The tendency to identify new business opportunities is in your genes.
• Self-employment income is heritable, which means that genetics affect not only the tendency to engage in entrepreneurship, but also the ability to perform it.
• The tendency to have personality traits such as extroversion, openness, etc., has a genetic component. This suggests that your genes could affect your tendency to be an entrepreneur by influencing the type of personality you develop.
(see http://www.inc.com/adam-heitzman/how-entrepreneurship-might-be-genetic.html)
But the success factor of entrepreneurship comes from a second article. It’s titled, “Entrepreneurs don’t have a special gene for risk—they come from families with money.” (http://qz.com/455109/entrepreneurs-dont-have-a-special-gene-for-risk-they-come-from-families-with-money/)
Here we learn that “the most common shared trait among entrepreneurs is access to financial capital—family money, an inheritance, or a pedigree and connections that allow for access to financial stability.” When basic needs are met, it’s argued, it’s easier to be creative. Safety nets encourage more risk taking.
A University of California Berkeley study of entrepreneurs revealed most were white, male, and highly educated. Not all, but most. And without family money, success chances drop quite a bit.
On the personality trait side, resilience stands out, along with extroversion and openness as noted earlier. And genetics do play a factor here. It’s still risky business. But as one woman who runs in circles of entrepreneurs says, “Following your dreams can be dangerous.”
This information was quite revealing to me. If I was counseling others on whether to take the leap and start a new venture, I would now have an even more cautious mindset. At least as it applies to business startups.
To the contrary, the spiritual life often demands from us a “leap of faith.” Hebrews, chapter 11, is a classic piece of scripture on the “halls of faith.” Here are a few verses specifically about Abraham:
“It was by faith that Abraham obeyed when God called him to leave home and go to another land that God would give him as his inheritance. He went without knowing where he was going. And even when he reached the land God promised him, he lived there by faith—for he was like a foreigner, living in tents. And so did Isaac and Jacob, who inherited the same promise. Abraham was confidently looking forward to a city with eternal foundations, a city designed and built by God.”  (Hebrews 11:8-10 NLT)
For a person to have an authentic spiritual life—which will certainly impact our work life as well—faith comes into play. To move confidently into areas where insecurity dwells, it is best to know the voice of God. The sensitivity to hear God’s voice comes by abiding in Him. Leaps of faith are not such big jumps when our hearts are properly tuned.
And in terms of “family wealth” as a safety net, remember: God not only owns the cattle on a thousand hills…he owns the real estate as well.
That’s The Way WE Work.

 

 

THE TICKET Movie Reviews with MARIE ASNER

Marie Asner has been reviewing films for over 30 years. Her outlets include radio, print and Internet. For more in-depth movie reviews of the following films, visit www.Tollbooth.org. Ratings from 1 (Low) to 5 (High).

 

JULY 24, 2015…

 

Southpaw—Jake Gyllenhaal stars in this boxing film of a man almost defeated in life, who tries a comeback. Jake has a tragedy in his life and his daughter is missing.  Forest Whitaker comes to the forefront as a trainer who gets Jake back into shape. (Gyllenhaal really got into shape for this role.) Rachel McAdams is Jake’s wife. “Southpaw” is rated R. Rating of 3 for sports fans.

 

Pan—This is a different concept, indeed.  Take the usual “Peter Pan” story and make it one with Blackbeard (Hugh Jackman) instead and the children he kidnaps, especially Peter (Levi Miller). to work in his mines. Captain Hook is played by Garrett Hedlund and something in the vein of Johnny Depp’s “Jack Sparrow.”  Tiger Lily is played by Rooney Mara.  Ah, yes, not your usual story here, but the characters are based on the Barry stories.   “Pan” is rated PG 13. Rating of 2 for fans.

 

Pixels—What would happen if the alien invaders turned out to be past video games? Pac Man running around the city, etc. That is the premise of this movie starring Adam Sandler and Kevin James as two guys who figure this out. They are helped by Peter Dinklage (“Game of Thrones”), Michelle Monaghan and Josh Gad.  “Pixels” (directed by Chris Columbus) is rated PG 13. Rating of 2 for fans of video games.

 

Paper Towns—The film is adapted from a book by author John Green (“The Fault In Our Stars,.”) “Paper Towns” is a comedy/mystery  about a young man Quentin Jacobsen) who falls for the girl next door, Margo Roth Speigelman , who, in turn, involves him in a mystery and then disappears. What to do? He begins his journey. Also in the cast is Halston Sage. “Paper Towns” is rated PG 13. No rating.

 

JULY 31, 2015…

 

Vacation is a comedy with Ed Helms and Leslie Mann about revisiting the National Lampoon vacation spots.

 

The Gift is a thriller starring Jason Bateman and Rebecca Hall

 

Mission Impossible: Rogue Nation is a Tom Cruise action film and plenty of stunts, including hanging from a plane in flight.

 

The End Of The Tour (opening in select cities)  stars Jesse Eisenberg as a reporter out for a great interview.

 

# # # # #

 

 

WARNING:  Don’t believe anything you read on the Internet or email (including stuff you read here) unless you can confirm it with another source, and/or it is consistent with what you already know to be true. The opinions in this publication are not necessarily those of Darren Marlar, Marlar House Entertainment, OnAirPrep.com, or any company or organization affiliated with aforementioned. (Regardless of how stupid you may think those opinions are. So there – nyah!)

Darren Marlar credits all non-original material to the author whenever possible. All other material is original, used with permission, or author unknown. We welcome all comments, questions, and suggestions. Darren can be reached via his website at www.DarrenMarlar.com.