ONAIRprep is a paid subscription service from MarlarHouse.com. Visit ONAIRprep.com for information.
Looking for the customized tag for “Daily Dose of Weird News” for your show or station? Email me directly at firstname.lastname@example.org to get started – it’s free with your ONAIRprep subscription!
WELCOME TO THE SHOW!
Today’s (JOCK SHOW) is being broadcast live directly into your home or car so you can listen on an out-patient basis.
PRESIDENTIAL WIT & WISDOM (click here to buy the book)
(None on the weekends or holidays.)
BIBLE VERSE OF THE DAY
I appeal to you, brothers, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, that all of you agree with one another so that there may be no divisions among you and that you may be perfectly united in mind and thought. –1 Corinthians 1:10 New International Version
Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honor one another above yourselves. — Romans 12:10
I consider my life worth nothing to me, if only I may finish the race and complete the task the Lord Jesus has given to me — the task of testifying to the gospel of God’s grace. — Acts 20:24
HEARTLIGHT DAILY VERSE, PRAYER & THOUGHT
But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us. — Romans 5:8
Thought: God didn’t wait till we were “good enough” to bring us his salvation. Instead, he came when we were most lost and needed his grace the most. But then, that’s what love really means by God’s definition. It’s more than something declared or felt, it’s something radically demonstrated.
Prayer: Holy and loving Father, thank you for demonstrating your love in such powerful and sacrificial fashion. In Jesus’ name I pray. Amen.
“BIRTHDAY VERSE” OF THE DAY (The chapter and verse correspond to the month and day!)
Galatians 6:2 NIV = Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.
TODAY IS SATURDAY – JUNE 02, 2018
(NOTE: Some holidays may be duplicated due to various calendars reporting conflicting dates)
WEIRD, WACKY, STRANGE, ZANY, ODD, BIZARRE, QUIRKY, UNUSUAL HOLIDAYS!
THERE ARE ONLY 205 SHOPPING DAYS UNTIL NEXT CHRISTMAS.
Today is YELL “FUDGE” AT THE COBRAS IN NORTH AMERICA DAY. ***I’ve been doing this every year for the past ten years, and it works! After all, when’s the last time you’ve seen a cobra in North America, hmm?
Today is ROCKY ROAD DAY. ***Also known as “(LOCAL ROAD UNDER CONSTRUCTION) Non-appreciation Day.”
This is STEP-PARENTS DAY. ***I have a step-mother, which ironically makes me the red-headed step-child.
TODAY IS ALSO…
Do-Dah Parade Day
Drawing Day or Pencil Day
National Black Bear Day
National Bubba Day
National Bubbly Day
National Gun Violence Awareness Day
National Prairie Day
National Rotisserie Chicken Day
National Trails Day
The Wicket World of Croquet Day
Turtle Races Day
Yell “Fudge” at the Cobras in North America Day
COMING UP NEXT (Just a list, we are not endorsing the holidays posted below. Find more holidays and link to their websites at BrownieLocks.com)
SUNDAY, JUNE 03
Children’s Awareness Memorial Day
National Cancer Survivors Day
Wonder Woman Day
MONDAY, JUNE 04
Audacity To Hope Day
International Day of Innocent Children Victims of Aggression
National SAFE Day
National Thank God It’s Monday Day
Old Maid’s Day
TUESDAY, JUNE 05
Apple II Day
Baby Boomers Recognition Day
Beer Pong Day
Festival of Popular Delusions Day
Hot Air Balloon Day
National Moonshine Day
National Veggie Burgers Day
Work@Home Father’s Day
World Environment Day
WEDNESDAY, JUNE 06
THURSDAY, JUNE 07
(Daniel) Boone Day
FRIDAY, JUNE 08
Banana Split Days
National Caribbean American HIV/AIDS Awareness Day
Upsy Daisy Day
World Oceans Day
SATURDAY, JUNE 09
Companies That Care Day
Donald Duck Day (Birthday)
Family Fitness and Health Day
International Archives Day
International Young Eagles Day
Missing Mutts Awareness Day
National Earl Baltes Day
National Marina Day
National Rose’ (wine) Day
Queen’s Official Birthday
Toy Industry Day
World APS Day
World Bike Naked Day
Worldwide Knit (and Crotchet) in Public Day
World Gin Day
SUNDAY, JUNE 10
Abused Women and Children’s Awareness Day
Alcoholics Anonymous (Founders) Day
Ball Point Pen Day
Iced Tea Day
Multicultural American Child Day
Race Unity Day
MONDAY, JUNE 11
Corn on the Cob Day
National Cotton Candy Day
National Making Life Beautiful Day
ON THIS DAY
1899: During a train robbery on a Wyoming bridge, Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid got into a long argument with the conductor and forgot about the explosives they’d planted. The bridge blew up.
1897: The New York Journal quoted 61-year-old Mark Twain as saying from London that “the report of my death was an exaggeration.”
1924: Congress granted U.S. citizenship to all American Indians.
1928: Searching for new ideas to fight the Depression, Kraft’s Chicago employees created a processed specialty cheese product they would call Velveeta. (audio clip)
1953: Queen Elizabeth II of Britain was crowned in Westminster Abbey, 16 months after the death of her father, King George VI. It was the first coronation to be televised and millions watched worldwide.
1964: The Rolling Stones kicked off their first American tour at a high school football stadium in Lynn, Massachusetts.
1983: The movie Attack of the Killer Tomatoes was released in Germany. The 1978 horror spoof, starring David Miller and Rock Peace, was so bad it had attracted a cult following in the U.S. The 1988 sequel, Return of the Killer Tomatoes, starred John Astin and George Clooney. (audio clip)
1988: Singer James Brown’s wife Adrienne claimed “diplomatic immunity” in traffic court because she was the wife of the “official ambassador of soul.”
1992: A new survey found the average bra size of the British woman had gone from 34B to 36C in the past decade.
1993: Minor-league baseball banned the use of all tobacco products by players during games.
1996: The Mt. Vernon Ladies’ Association, which owns George Washington’s Virginia estate, insisted that the cellular telephone relay tower to be built there be disguised as a tree. Cellular One agreed to erect a white fir “treepole” with plastic needles and bark.
1999: South African officials built a special polling station in the remote Drakensberg mountain area where there was only one registered voter. Sure enough, he stayed home and didn’t vote.
2001: An Australian man laid off from work in the morning became a multi-millionaire a few hours later when he won a $4.5 million lottery. He had lost his job at a shipbuilding yard in Hobart on the island state of Tasmania.
2005: Georgia “runaway bride” Jennifer Wilbanks pleaded no contest to faking her own abduction and was sentenced to probation, community service and a fine.
2007: In Tempe, Arizona, U.S. hot dog eating champ Joey Chestnut surpassed the record of 53 3/4 hot dogs — held for six years by Takeru Kobayashi of Japan — by wolfing downing 59 1/2 wieners in 12 minutes.
TODAY IN CHRISTIAN HISTORY
597 AD: Augustine, missionary to England and first archbishop of Canterbury, baptizes Saxon king Ethelbert, the first Christian English king. The missionary’s tomb in Canterbury bears this epitaph: “Here rests Augustine, first archbishop of Canterbury, who being sent hither by Gregory, bishop of Rome, reduced King Ethelbert and his nation from the worship of idols to the faith of Christ”.
1491: Henry VIII, the English king who went from being called “Defender of the Faith” by the pope (for attacking Martin Luther) to galvanizing the English Reformation, is born in Greenwich.
1875: James Augustine Healy becomes the first African-American Roman Catholic bishop in the U.S.
1979: Pope John Paul II makes a return trip to his home country of Poland, the first visit by a pope to a Communist country.
HOLLYWOOD, SPORTS AND CELEBRITY FIGURE BIRTHDAYS
actress (“Las Vegas”, “Nikki”, “Unhappily Ever After”) Nikki Cox 40 (audio clip)
actor (“Heroes”, Star Trek Into Darkness) Zachary Quinto, 41
actor/comedian (“Whose Line Is It Anyway”, “Let’s Make a Deal”) Wayne Brady, 46
actor (“Private Practice, “Empire”, How Stella Got Her Groove Back) Taye Diggs, 47
comic (“Saturday Night Live”, Wayne’s World) Dana Carvey 63 (audio clip)
actor/musician (Eddie from TV’s “The Munsters”) Butch Patrick, 65
actress (Morgan Winslow on “Different Strokes” and “Hello Larry”, Mr. Holland’s Opus) Joanna Gleason 68 (audio clip)
actor (“Leave it to Beaver”) Jerry Mathers 70 (audio clip)
actor (Andy Renko on “Hill Street Blues”) Charles Haid 75 (audio clip)
actress (M*A*S*H the movie, Back to School) Sally Kellerman 81
(Music Artist Birthdays From SongFacts.com)
1857 : Edward Elgar
1932 : Sammy Turner
1936 : Otis Williams (The Charms)
1937 : Jimmy Jones
1941 : Charlie Watts (drummer for The Rolling Stones)
1941 : William Guest (Gladys Knight & The Pips)
1944 : Marvin Hamlisch
1950 : Chubby Tavares (Tavares)
1951 : Steve Brookins (.38 Special)
1952 : Pete Farndon (The Pretenders)
1954 : Michael Steele (The Bangles)
1960 : Tony Hadley (Spandau Ballet)
1962 : Thor Eldon Jonsson (The Sugarcubes)
1965 : Jeremy Cunningham (The Levellers)
1970 : B-Real (Cypress Hill)
1970 : Dominic Greensmith (Reef)
1976 : Tim Rice-Oxley (Keane)
1980 : Fabrizio Moreti (The Strokes)
SECRETS OF THE UNIVERSE (Answering questions that have plagued mankind for minutes!)
Is it best to turn off your computer at night, or let it run all the time?
There are arguments on both sides. Turning a computer on and off changes the temperature of its components, which stresses them. The fan keeps the temperature constant while the machine is running. Except for the monitor, which you should turn off or put in power-saving mode when not using it for an hour or more, computers don’t use much electricity when run constantly. On the other hand (or finger, since computers are digital) leaving it on can wear down the always-spinning hard drive, and dust on the fan can make it an inefficient cooler. If you leave it on you will also need to reboot periodically to flush the memory of digital garbage programs leave behind when you close them.
(Not posted on weekends and U.S. holidays.)
NEW NEWS KICKERS…
NEWS KICKER EVERGREENS…
(PERENNIAL) We’re getting close to your ‘sexy’ time of year, ladies. A survey found women feel their sexiest during the summer months. The happiest time of year for 83% of women is between June and August. Sunshine is being credited for bringing out the smiles. ***On the women, at least. The smiles on men are usually brought about by the bikinis on the women.
AS THE JUNGLE TURNS
(Not updated on weekends and U.S. holidays.)
CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD MONDAY’S EPISODE
OPEN: Last time, Racquet the Skunk’s niece, Rita, was tossed into jail for sabotaging a badminton racquet. Then Gruffy was jailed for giving her that racquet. Then Racquet the Skunk was arrested for making the defective racquet, and Sully and Nozzles were arrested just for knowing the jailbirds. Everyone is in jail because of Racquet the Skunk’s greed… and now they’re planning a prison break!
CLOSE: It’s about time Racquet finally admitted his faults and apologized, but all the animals are still in jail… and they’re planning a prison break! Will it work? Find out next time, as FancyMonkey.com, (Show Name), and (Station Call Letters) bring you As the Jungle Turns!
***You may simulcast “As the Jungle Turns” on the Internet stream of your live broadcast only. Any other Internet use of “As the Jungle Turns” in whole or part including podcasting of your live broadcast is a violation of copyright law. Thank you for your cooperation on this vitally important issue. If you have any questions, please e-mail us and ask about “Jungle Jam & Friends the Radio Show” usage.
MOMENT OF DUH
College students are given the answers to test questions… but don’t use them!
A famous Sherlock Holmes quote: “…when you have eliminated the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth.” United Kingdom sitting for their GCSE music exams (similar to a G.E.D. in the U.S.) would have done well to have followed this advice by looking for test answers on the back of their exams. Incompetence was afoot at the printer where the GCSE music exams were printed resulting in the exam question answers being printed with exams. “The exam board said … students would not have to do a re-sit as most pupils seemed to have been unaware of their good fortune.” In other words, most of the students never saw the answers on the back of the sheet because they never bothered to turn the page over to see what was on the other side.
TOP TEN THINGS HEARD BY COMPUTER TECH SUPPORT
10. Customer: “I have Microword Soft.”
9. Customer: “Microwave Windows?”
8. Customer: “Will this upgrade include Microwave XP?”
7. Customer: (Referring to Microsoft Defrag.) “I ran Microwave Defrost, but it didn’t help.”
6. Customer: “I have Microsoft Exploder.”
5. Customer: “I have Microscope Exploiter.”
4. Customer: “I have Netscape Complicator.”
3. Customer: “I have Netscape Regulator.”
2. Customer: “Uhh…I have Newscape and Outlook Exposure.”
1. Customer: “It’s not my computer that is slow. I have a 200 horse power hard drive.”
THE FILES OF LAW & DISORDER
A cell phone saves a man’s life, and also places him at the scene of a crime!
FILE #1: A 911 dispatcher in Oregon received a call from a man hanging by one ankle from a fire escape leading to an apartment. Fortunately, for this man, he had a cell phone and was able to call 911. Unfortunately, after being rescued, it was discovered that he had burglarized the apartment and had used the fire escape to make his exit. In his attempt to escape, he stepped through a hole in the fire escape ladder and nearly fell to his death. He hung upside down for almost twenty minutes before he decided to call 911. After being rescued, he was taken to the hospital and treated for a broken ankle. He was charged and later convicted of the burglary. Among the items he stole was the cell phone that saved his life.
FILE #2: Two Michigan men went into a new subdivision and decided to steal a refrigerator from one of the unfinished homes. After destroying walls and floors, they snatched a fridge from one of the houses and placed it on the back of their pickup truck. It was then that their truck became bogged down in the mud so the men decided the refrigerator was too heavy so they put it back in the house. When they returned to the truck, they realized the keys had been left in the ignition and the doors were locked. They took off and left their running truck at the scene of the crime.
FILE #3: Police arrested David Ballou for driving drunk in a car he had stolen. Soon after being picked up by a state trooper, Ballou thought he would add to his list of crimes. While sitting in the back of the state trooper’s car with his hands handcuffed behind his back, Ballou managed to steal $23 from the wallet of the trooper who momentarily left him alone in the squad car. Not exactly the smartest way to raise your bail money.
STRANGE LAW: In Rumford, Maine it is illegal for a tenant to bite his/her landlord.
THIS IS YOUR BRAIN ON DRUGS
“This Is Your Brain On Drugs” is about people doing dumb things under the influence, but addiction is no laughing matter. If you or someone you know needs help, there’s a toll free number you can call 1-800-438-0380. That’s the Addiction Hope and Help Line at 1-800-438-0380.
A West Virginia man once again confirmed that criminals are their own worst enemies.
The man was arrested for stealing a VCR, but said he was innocent. In court he pleaded, “I plead not guilty Judge, honestly, I didn’t steal the VCR. He gave it to me because he owed me for drugs.” The good news for the man was that he was not arrested for stealing the VCR. The bad news for him (and good news for everyone else) is that he now faces felony charges for possessing and selling drugs.
Do you save or collect something strange or unusual? Tell us about it.
BIBLE BRAIN BUSTER!
QUESTION: Who won the 2nd battle between Israel and Syria?
ANSWER: Israel (1 Kings 20:29)
QUESTION: How many languages has the Bible been translated into?
ANSWER: The Bible has been translated into 2,018 languages, with countless more partial translations, and audio translations (for unwritten languages). By comparison, Shakespeare, considered by many to be the master writer of the English language, has only been translated into 50 languages.
TRUE OR FALSE
Pay attention! If our next player doesn’t answer all ten T/F questions correctly we start all over from question #1! First person to answer question #10 correctly is our winner!
Today’s TRUE of FALSE is going to the dogs!
1. All dogs are the descendant of the wolf. (True. These wolves lived in eastern Asia about 15,000 years ago.)
2. An average city dog lives approximately ten years longer than an average country dog. (False – three years longer)
3. Bloodhounds have been used since the 1800’s for tracking criminals. (False – since the 1600’s!)
4. German Shepherds are the most intelligent breed of dog. (False – Border Collies)
5. Chocolate can be fatal to dogs. (True. Chocolate contains a chemical theobromine, which is poisonous to dogs.)
6. Dalmatian puppies do not have any spots on them when they are born. (True. They actually develop them as they get older.)
7. Dogs can be trained to detect an upcoming epileptic seizure. (True)
8. In just two years (2000-2001), dogs killed more people in the U.S. than the Great White shark has killed in the past 100 years. (True)
9. Nose prints are used to identify dogs, much like humans use fingerprints. (True)
10. A dog by the name of Laika was launched into space aboard the Russian spacecraft Sputnik 2 in 1957. (True. ***Yes, I know we used this one yesterday – but we needed another dog question!)
TABLOID MATCH GAME
You have to match the blank in the tabloid headline with the word or phrase that has been removed!
“Man Suing ____ For Causing His Divorce!” (UBER)
He used his wife’s phone to book a ride but says he logged in and out of his own account to do so. However, a glitch in the app caused her to keep receiving notifications whenever he used the service, arousing her suspicions that he was having an affair and leading her to file for divorce.
THE WAY TOO EARLY IN THE MORNING TO UNDERSTAND THE PUNCHLINE EVEN AFTER TWO CUPS OF COFFEE JOKE OF THE DAY
A man is applying for a job as mechanic that he really wants to get. The boss says, “Can you roll your hard hat down your arm and pop it back on your head?”
The mechanic nods, confused.
“Can you play light saber with your wrench and another man’s screwdriver?”
“Oh yes,” says the mechanic.
“Can you bounce your screwdriver off the cement, grab it, whirl it around and put it in your belt like a gun?”
“Sir, I’ve been doing that for years!” says the wanna-be mechanic.
“Well in that case, I can’t use you. I have 12 men doing that already!” says the boss.
At the end of the school year, a Kindergarten teacher was receiving gifts from her pupils. The florist’s son handed her a gift. She shook it, held it overhead, and said, “I bet I know what it is?” Flowers.”
“That’s right” the boy said, “but how did you know?”
“Oh, just a wild guess,” she said.
The next pupil was the candy shop owner’s daughter. The teacher held her gift overhead, shook it, and said, “I bet I can guess what it is? A box of candy.”
“That’s right, but how did you know?” asked the girl.
“Oh, just a wild guess,” said the teacher.
The next gift was from the son of the liquor store owner. The teacher held the package overhead, but it was leaking. She touched a drop of the leakage with her finger and put it to her tongue. “Is it wine?” she asked.
“No,” the boy replied, with some excitement.
The teacher repeated the process, tasting a larger drop of the leakage. “Is it champagne?” she asked.
“No,” the boy replied, with more excitement.
The teacher took one more big taste before declaring, “I give up, what is it?”
With great glee, the boy replied, “It’s a puppy!”
While on a road trip between Billings and Butte, Montana, an elderly couple stopped at a roadside restaurant for lunch. After finishing their meal, they left the restaurant and resumed their trip. When leaving, the elderly woman unknowingly left her glasses on the table. And, she didn’t miss them until after they had been driving about twenty minutes. By then, to add to the aggravation, they had to travel quite a distance before they could find a place to turn around in order to return to the restaurant to retrieve her glasses. All the way back, the elderly husband became the classic grouchy old man. He fussed and complained and scolded his wife relentlessly during the entire return drive. The more he chided her, the more agitated he became. He just wouldn’t let up one minute. To her relief, they finally arrived at the restaurant. And as the woman got out of the car and hurried inside to retrieve her glasses, the old geezer yelled to her, “While you’re in there, you might as well get my hat and credit card.”
In 80% of households with children, mom decides when bedtime is. ***And if you grew up in my house, no amount of whining was going to overrule her.
According to a study by Dr. Olga Yakusheva of Marquette University, high-income men are more likely to be overweight than low-income men, whereas low-income women are more likely to be overweight than high-income women. The trend is most noticeable among women. ***If fat guys make more money, I’m getting ripped off.
DEAR ABBY: “P.O. in New Jersey” was angry because her sister-in-law purchased an identical wedding dress after seeing hers. Here’s another way she could handle the situation: The wedding day was fast approaching. Everything was ready and nothing could dampen Jennifer’s excitement, not even her parents’ nasty divorce. Her mother had finally found the perfect dress and felt she would be the best-dressed mother of the bride ever! A week later, Jennifer was horrified to learn her new young stepmother, Barbie, had purchased the same dress. She asked Barbie to exchange it, but Barbie refused. “Absolutely not! I’m going to wear this dress. I’ll look like a million bucks in it.” Jennifer relayed the conversation to her mother, who graciously replied, “Never mind, dear. I’ll get another dress. After all, it’s your special day, not hers.” Two weeks later, another dress was finally found. When they stopped for lunch that day, Jennifer asked, “What are you going to do with the first dress? Maybe you should return it. You don’t have any place to wear it.” Her mother grinned and replied, “Of course, I do, dear. I’m wearing it to the rehearsal dinner!” — JUDITH, HOUSTON
DEAR JUDITH: I like her sense of humor.
IT MUST BE TRUE BECAUSE I HEARD IT ON THE RADIO!
A man in Fond du Lac, Wisconsin, frustrated about having to wait an hour for a pizza to be delivered, came up with idea to speed up pizza delivery.
Scott Matthew thought, “What if you cooked the pizza in the delivery van? It would get there sooner and hotter”. Now his company, Super Fast Pizza, is doing just that, delivering pizzas around Fond du Lac with the cheese still bubbling in about 15 minutes. Pizzas are kept in a refrigerator and then cooked in an oven in the delivery truck on the way to the patron’s house. Matthew admits it’s not gourmet pizza, but says, “our pepperoni tastes like a pepperoni.” ***See, now that’s what you’re looking for in a high-quality pizza… for the pepperoni to taste like pepperoni. You know, unlike those OTHER pizza places where the pepperoni tastes like pickles.
“Jesus replied, The time has come for the Son of Man to enter into his glory.” –John 12:23
Satan may try to delay, hinder, sift, oppose, and confuse, but the moment of your breakthrough must come. Although the hands of a clock move almost imperceptibly, the moment inevitably arrives when the clock strikes the hour. The poet Friedrich von Logau expressed it this way: Though the mills of God grind slowly, yet they grind exceeding small; though with patience He stands waiting, with exactness grinds He all. Jesus; thirty-three years of preparation and ministry culminated in the glory of His death and resurrection. In that moment, the prince of this world was cast out (John 12:31). David also experienced tremendous pressure in his years of preparation, but suddenly his hour came, Saul died unexpectedly, and the path to the throne was opened (2 Samuel 2:4). This is the payoff of years of faithful service to a vision: one day the hour will come. Never try to get ahead of your time, for God knows when the circumstances are ripe and you have been thoroughly prepared. All your trials and difficulties are only the stepping-stones to your glorious destiny: to reign forever with Jesus Christ!
DRIVE TIME DEVOTIONAL
THE ANGEL OF MUSIC
READ: Ephesians 6:10-18
Satan himself transforms himself into an angel of light. —2 Corinthians 11:14
In Andrew Lloyd Webber’s musical The Phantom of the Opera, a young chorus girl named Christine Daae receives voice training from a mysterious musician she calls the “Angel of Music.” Christine believes this is the angel her dying father had promised to send to complete her musical training.
As the plot thickens, we find that her mysterious mentor is really a demented man who wants to carry her away into a bizarre underworld beneath the opera house. What the girl thinks is a supernatural agent sent by her beloved father is really a madman who wants to possess her for his own ends. The “Angel of Music” is evil masquerading as good.
The believer in Christ also faces an evil one who masquerades. One of Satan’s key strategies is to look like someone who is good. Paul told us, “Satan himself transforms himself into an angel of light” (2 Corinthians 11:14). The Greek word translated as “transforms” means “to change appearance, masquerade, or disguise oneself.”
In preparing us to face the evil strategies of the devil, God has provided all the equipment we need to stand our ground. Protecting ourselves with the armor of God unmasks the evil that opposes us and stabilizes our spiritual walk (Ephesians 6:10-18). —Dennis Fisher
When you’re making a decision,
Evil sometimes wears a mask;
Trust the Lord for true discernment—
He’ll give wisdom if you ask. —Hess
God’s armor is tailor-made for us, but we must put it on.
BUT IT’S AFFECTING MY BUSINESS
A criminal has sued one of his victims!
A career crook has sued the clerk who shot him during his last ripoff. Willie Brown, 44, already had convictions for one robbery and two burglaries on his rap sheet when he walked into a Muncie, IN, deli. But the three-time loser hadn’t learned his lesson.. He held up the store and bolted out the door as the clerk sprayed him with gunfire. Brown took two bullets — in the back and the side — and cops had no trouble tracking him to a nearby house. Later, he pleaded guilty and landed a four-year sentence. Now, the felon has filed a lawsuit that claims “there was no need for deadly force” and that the clerk behaved “maliciously and sadistically.” Further, the suit claims that the shooting has “prevented him from transacting his business”. Of course, his “business” is robbing people – and he’s using that argument in court. Nice plan.
LIFE… LIVE IT
Interviewing for a job? Try to schedule it for the morning.
Research shows that 83% of executives are more likely to hire AM job seekers. And 70% of all hiring decisions are made before 11:00 AM. So obviously, if you can help suggest the time of an interview, make it before 11:00 AM. Avoid Mondays and Fridays. On Monday, people tend to have too much to do and on Friday they are anticipating the weekend and ready to get out of the office. So the very best times for interviews are Tuesday, Wednesday or Thursday mornings between 8:00 and 10:00 AM. The little things could tip the scale in your favor.
JUST FOR FUN
Would you work ten hours a day if it meant you could have a three day weekend?
A three day weekend has a great sound to it, but according to economist John Owen, some people may not be able to afford it. He says that some workers whose schedule puts them on a ten hour, four day workweek ran out of money for their leisure time activities before their long weekend ran out. ***MARLAR: Isn’t that why we have credit cards?
THE GRASS IS ALWAYS GREENER
We may complain about mowing our own lawns, but men obviously don’t have a problem mowing someone else’s lawn. The Murray Lawnmower company conducted a poll asking men, ‘‘If you could mow any lawn in the world, which would it be?’’ The results:
1) The White House
2) Pebble Beach golf course
3) The Rose Bowl stadium
***MARLAR: If they’d asked me, I would have chosen a field of astro-turf.
MORE SHOW PREP STUFF…
You can’t believe you ate that whole thing. Now you’re paying for it with a burning sensation in your chest and a bitter taste in the back of your throat. Now what? You’ll have to wait for your stomach to empty to get complete relief, says Patricia Raymond, a gastroenterologist in Chesapeake, Virginia. Meanwhile…- Don’t lie down. Eating more than your stomach can comfortably hold means there’s nowhere for gastric acids to go but up, into the esophagus. Reclining will only exacerbate this problem. You should stay upright for three to four hours after overeating. – Take a brisk 30-minute walk to help speed digestion along. Don’t do anything more energetic, however. Bouncing around could cause gastric acids to slosh up into the throat. And you’ll want to avoid most antacids. By neutralizing existing stomach acids, they prompt the stomach to produce more of them. You might want to loosen your belt too. “The pressure can worsen heartburn.” ***MARLAR: And you thought your dad was just being inconsiderate in front of your friends and family. Turns out he was modeling proper behavior!
OTHER STUFF I WANT TO CRAM INTO TODAY’S PREP
(Not posted on weekends and U.S. holidays.)
(Stories to get your dander up! Only posted as stories come available. Not posted on weekends and U.S. holidays.)
AND I LEAVE YOU WITH THIS THOUGHT
If I could get all the people in my life who have ever done mean things to me in one room, I wouldn’t go in there because, man, those are some mean people! –LeMel Hebert-Williams
THE TICKET Movie Reviews with MARIE ASNER
Marie Asner has been reviewing films for over 35 years. Her outlets include radio, print and Internet. For more in-depth movie reviews of the following films, visit www.Tollbooth.org. Ratings from 1 (Low) to 5 (High).
JUNE 01, 2018…
Action Point—So you own a broken down amusement park and live on the edge. What can go wrong? This is the life of owner Johnny Knoxville (the “Jackass” films) as he tries to figure out ways is to stay in business. Expect pratfalls and humor as in the old vaudeville days, plus…how in the world did they do those stunts? “Action Point” is rated R. No rating.
American Animals—This rather dark comedy concerns college students who want to steal precious art objects. What is with stealing these days? “Ocean’s 8” opens next week and that’s about a robbery, too. Anyway, this film is set in 2004 and the people are after rare books from a library in Kentucky. Based on a real life event and Evan Peters stars as the real Warren Lipka. Cast includes Blake Jenner and Jared Abrahamson. “American Animals” is rated R. No rating.
Adrift—Ready for a survival film? This one is about what happens after a major hurricane and two people are lost at sea. The couple are Shailene Woodley and Sam Clafin at a loss. Well there is always the salt water to contend with, plus plenty of wind, and anything else you can think of. Unfortunately, with the major storms happening each year of late, one must be aware on the water. “Adrift” is rated PG 13. Rating of 2 for boating fans.
A Kid Like Jake—Adapted from the stage play by Daniel Pearle, this story is about a couple (Claire Danes and Jim Parsons) who discover they have a gender-changing child. What to do? Acceptance or non-acceptance, conform or non-conforming are the issues within the story. Also in in the cast is Leo James Davis. “A Kid Like Jake” is rated PG 13. Rating of 2.
Upgrade—A science fiction film, this story is about a man (Logan Marshall-Green) who can’t walk, but is given this ability through an implant. What happens then? Not celebrate, as he goes after the people who killed his family and thought he was dead. Revenge. Also in the cast is Betty Gabriel. “Upgrade” is rated PG 13. No rating.
JUNE 08, 2018…
Ocean’s 8 is a remake of the”Oceans” films with George Clooney. This time, the ladies take on the heist. Stars Sandra Bullock and Anne Hathaway.
Won’t You Be My Neighbor is a documentary on the life of the television favorite, “Mr. Rogers.” Much missed.
Hotel Artemis concerns criminals who come to a certain place for medical attention. Set in a future Los Angeles. Stars Charlie Day and Jodie Foster.
Hereditary is a horror film starring Toni Collette and Alex Wolff. Disintegration of a family.
Hearts Beat Loud has Nick Offerman starting a band with his family.
# # # # #
WARNING: Don’t believe anything you read on the Internet or email (including stuff you read here) unless you can confirm it with another source, and/or it is consistent with what you already know to be true. The opinions in this publication are not necessarily those of Darren Marlar, Marlar House Productions, or any company or organization affiliated with aforementioned. (Regardless of how stupid you may think those opinions are. So there – nyah!)
Darren Marlar credits all non-original material to the author whenever possible. All other material is original, used with permission, or author unknown. We welcome all comments, questions, and suggestions. Darren can be reached via his website at www.DarrenMarlar.com.