June 11, 2016: Saturday ONAIRprep

***CREATION MOMENTS MINUTE – FREE TO AIR! (Contact me to sign up!)

***DAILY DOSE OF WEIRD NEWS – FREE TO AIR! (Contact me to sign up!)

PRINTER FRIENDLY VERSION: 20160611

 

 

WELCOME TO THE SHOW!

Today must be payday… the boss just called in sick.

 

 

BIBLE VERSE OF THE DAY

“He who conceals his sins does not prosper, but whoever confesses and renounces them finds mercy.” — Proverbs 28:13

 

Jesus said, “Wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it. But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it. — Matthew 7:13-14

 

 

HEARTLIGHT DAILY VERSE, PRAYER & THOUGHT

(From VerseOfTheDay.com)

We constantly pray for you, that our God may count you worthy of his calling, and that by his power he may fulfill every good purpose of yours and every act prompted by your faith. — 2 Thessalonians 1:11

 

Thought: Paul prays for God to be active in the lives of these new Christians — to maximize the good they intend to do as well as fully bless every good deed they do out of their commitment of faith. What new Christian do you need to pray this for?

 

Prayer: Strong and mighty Father, please bless several new Christians who are on my heart today. Help them recognize your presence in their lives. Please maximize the good in every effort they make and every intention they have to honor you and bless your people. Protect them from the evil one. In Jesus’ name I ask this blessing. Amen.

 

The Thoughts and Prayers for Today’s Verse are written by Phil Ware. You can email questions or comments to phil@heartlight.org.

 

 

BIRTHDAY VERSE” OF THE DAY

The chapter and verse corresponds to the month and the day!

Ephesians 6:11 NIV = Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes.

 

 

TODAY IS FRIDAY – JUNE 11, 2016

(NOTE: Some holidays may be duplicated due to various calendars reporting conflicting dates)
WEIRD, WACKY, STRANGE, ZANY, ODD, BIZARRE, QUIRKY, UNUSUAL HOLIDAYS!
THERE ARE ONLY 196 SHOPPING DAYS UNTIL CHRISTMAS.   

 

Today is NATIONAL GERMAN CHOCOLATE CAKE DAY.  ***MARLAR: It has nothing to do with Germany though – it was invented back in 1852 by a guy named Sam German.

 

Today is NATIONAL FEED THE DUCKS DAY.  ***MARLAR: Pigeons don’t count.

 

Today is RACE UNITY DAY.  ***MARLAR: You can either get together today with someone of a different skin color, or you can challenge a Unitarian to a foot race.

 

Today is NATIONAL HUG DAY. Some call it Hug Holiday, a day to give hugs to those who need them. Some celebrate it June 29th, others celebrate it today.  ***MARLAR: Still others celebrate it on both June 11th and June 29th because they’re really clingy.

 

Today is AMERICAN IDOL DAY. The TV show debuted on Fox on this date in 2002.  ***MARLAR: No other show has done so much towards introducing America to really mediocre talent.

 

Today is INTERNATIONAL TOWN CRIERS DAY.  ***MARLAR: Some things you do NOT want to hear from your town crier…

  • The Scientologists are coming!  The Scientologists are coming!
  • Abandon hope, all ye who enter the bathroom at the State Street Road Ranger!
  • Halt!  Do not proceed in your ill-fitting spandex!

 

 

TODAY IS ALSO. . .

Abused Women and Children’s Awareness Day

Belmont Stakes

Corn on the Cob Day

International Young Eagles Day

Missing Mutts Awareness Day

National Cotton Candy Day

National Making Life Beautiful Day

National Rose’ (wine) Day

Queen’s Official Birthday

World Bike Naked Day ***Umm, we’d rather you didn’t.

World Gin Day

 

 

COMING UP NEXT

SUNDAY, JUNE 12

Children’s Sunday

Crowded Nest Awareness Day

Loving Day

Multicultural American Child Day

National Jerky Day

National Peanut Butter Cookie Day

Race Unity Day

Superman Day

World Day Against Child Labor

 

MONDAY, JUNE 13

(NONE TODAY)

 

TUESDAY, JUNE 14

Army’s Birthday

Family History Day

Flag Day

National Bourbon Day

Pause for the Pledge Day

World Blood Donor Day

 

WEDNESDAY, JUNE 15

Global Wind Day

Magna Carta Day

Native American Citizenship Day

Nature Photography Day

National Day of Prayer for Law Enforcement Officers

World Elder Abuse Awareness Day

Worldwide Day of Giving

 

THURSDAY, JUNE 16

Bloomsday

Career Nurse Assistants Day

Fudge Day

Ladies’ Day (Baseball)

Dump the Pump Day

Recess At Work Day

 

FRIDAY, JUNE 17

Eat Your Vegetables Day

National Flip Flop Day

Stewarts Root Beer Day

Ugliest Dog Day

World Day to Combat Desertification and Drought

Work@Home Father’s Day

 

SATURDAY, JUNE 18

Dollars Against Diabetes Day

International Sushi Day

National Splurge Day

Polar Bear Swim

World Juggling Day

Worldwide Knit in Public Day

 

SUNDAY, JUNE 19

Family Awareness Day

Father’s Day

Garfield the Cat Day

Husband Caregiver Day

Juneteenth

World Sickle Cell Day

World Sauntering Day

 

MONDAY, JUNE 20

American Eagle Day

Flitch of Bacon Day

Lambrusco Day

National Kouign Amann Day

Ride to Work On Your Motorcycle Day

Ryan Moran Day

Summer Solstice (6:34 PM EDT)

World Productivity Day

World Refugee Day

Ann & Samantha Day

 

 

ON THIS DAY

1955: In auto racing’s worst moment, Pierre Levegh’s Mercedes flew into the crowd and exploded at the Le Mans Grand Prix. Including Levegh, 82 died and 100 others were injured.

 

1972: Hank Aaron tied the National League record for 14 grand-slam home runs in a career.

 

1976: Wild Cherry released “Play That Funky Music.”

 

1979: Actor John Wayne died at age 72 after a 15-year battle with cancer.

 

1981: In a dispute over free-agent compensation, players called the first mid-season strike in pro baseball history. It ended June 30 after 706 games were cancelled.

 

1982: Director Steven Spielberg introduced his classic science-fiction film, “E.T., The Extra-Terrestrial.” (

)

 

1990: Nolan Ryan of the Texas Rangers pitched his 6th career no-hitter.

 

1990: The United Nations appointed a new environmental ambassador: singer Olivia Newton-John. ***MARLAR: Because when you think of being green and saving the planet, you immediately think of Sandra Dee in leather smoking a cigarette.

 

1992: Major-league baseball approved the purchase of the Seattle Mariners by a Japanese group headed by the president of Nintendo.

 

1993: Steven Spielberg’s Jurassic Park premiered. (

)

 

1996: Garth Brooks set a country music Fan Fair record by signing autographs in Nashville for 23 hours straight.

 

1998: Amazon.com expanded its product line from books only to add compact discs.

 

2001: A pet shop owner in Hoogeveen, Netherlands, installed a vending machine to sell live maggots. The crawling creatures quickly became popular bait with local fishermen.

 

2002: Rock star Paul McCartney and Heather Mills were married in a remote Irish castle.

 

2002: “American Idol” premiered on the Fox Network. The talent show was based on a similar British program. ***MARLAR: So what did horrible singers do before there was “American Idol?”  They rented the apartment below mine. (

)

 

2004: The nation said goodbye to former President Ronald Reagan at a televised funeral service in Washington, D.C., followed hours later by a hilltop burial ceremony in California.

 

2005: The world’s richest countries agreed to a debt relief deal for the poorest nations, writing off $40 billion in debt.

 

 

TODAY IN CHRISTIAN HISTORY

1294: Death of Roger Bacon, a Franciscan monk and one of the most original thinkers of the Middle Ages. He predicted aircraft, submarines, suspension bridges, engines, and more.

 

1525: Luther marries Katherina von Bora, a nun who escaped from her convent in a fish barrel.

 

1782: William Black, the first Canadian Methodist clergyman, preaches his debut sermons.

 

1799: The man who would become the first Afro-American Methodist bishop in the US, Richard Allen, is ordained a deacon in the Methodist Episcopal church.

 

1850: David C. Cook, a pioneer publisher of Sunday School materials, is born in East Worcester, New York. By his death in 1927, his company was the largest publisher of nondenominational Sunday school literature in the world.

 

1923: Mildred Cable and the Chinese Trio leave Hwo Chow to set out for Central Asia, uncertain what and where the Lord is calling them. Years later they will have preached the gospel to hundreds of cities and villages in the Gobi desert.

 

1936: The Presbyterian Church of North America is founded in Philadelphia led by J. Gresham Machen and others who believe that the United Presbyterian church has become too liberal.

 

 

HOLLYWOOD, SPORTS AND CELEBRITY FIGURE BIRTHDAYS

  • actor (“Dawson’s Creek”, “Fringe”) Joshua Jackson 38 (
    )
  • actor (“House”) Hugh Laurie 57 (
    )
  • quarterback Joe Montana 60
  • actress (Escape From New York, Swamp Thing, The Fog, “The Drew Carey Show”) Adrienne Barbeau 71 (
    )
  • actor (Blazing Saddles, Young Frankenstein, Willy Wonka & The Chocolate Factory) Gene Wilder is 81 (
    )
  • extra-terrestrial E.T. is 834 (
    )

 

 

BEE-BOP BIRTHDAYS

(Music Artist Birthdays From SongFacts.com)

1864 : Richard Strauss

1934 : James “Pookie” Hudson (The Spaniels)

1936 : Jud Strunk

1939 : Wilma Burgess

1940 : Joey Dee (Joey Dee and the Starliters)

1946 : John Lawton (Uriah Heep)

1947 : Glenn Leonard (The Temptations)

1947 : Richard Palmer-James (Supertramp, King Crimson)

1948 : Skip Skipper (Pretty Things, Them)

1949 : Frank Beard (ZZ Top)

1952 : Donnie Van Zant (.38 Special, Van Zant)

1961 : Kim and Kelley Deal (The Breeders)

1961 : Robert Birch (Stereo MC’s)

1965 : Joey Santiago (Pixies)

1969 : Dan Lavery (Tonic)

 

 

SECRETS OF THE UNIVERSE

Can you be bored to death… literally?

A new university study reveals you can actually be bored to death. Dr. Pers Lundgrem of the Norwegian Heart Institute in Oslo says, “prolonged boredom cause the body to release low levels of adrenaline, the same hormone which is produced when war are frightened or angry.” This can cause blood pressure and heart rate to sky rocket. Normally when we get an adrenaline rush we are able to expend it through fight or flight. But when the cause is boredom, there is not such pressure release and the levels increase until they reach lethal proportions. The good news is you can keep listening to my show and not have to worry about it!

 

 

CHRISTIAN ARTIST NEWS

Do you like the Christian Artist News you see below? It’s just a tiny sample of the 5-6 pages of material you could be receive every weekday… and it’s FREE!  Become one of their subscribers at ChristianRadioShowPrepServices.com!

Thoughts on music from Danny Gokey: God is the creator of music, art and entertainment. We as His children should copy His creativity and not the world. That’s how we become industry leaders, movers and shakers. Not for our own glory but for His Glory alone.

 

Colton Dixon is finding that marriage life isn’t always glamorous. He was doing his husband duty this week by cleaning the drains and posted: Never thought a shower drain would be that disgusting. So gross.

 

Mandisa says an American Idol show could be coming. A fan this week suggested that she, Danny Gokey, and Colton Dixon put together a concert made up of American Idol contestants that now sing Christian music. Mandisa replied: Actually, Colton and I just talked about that today. All three of us have expressed that we want to. It’ll happen one day!

 

Moriah Peters was back home in the USA for just one day and posted that she was already having Europe withdrawal. Moriah was in Europe in late May and early June for a series of shows followed by some down time with her husband Joel from the band for King and Country. But she won’t have to wait long for her next trip to the other side of the Atlantic. She and her band will be in Norway and Sweden in early July.

https://instagram.com/p/BGVVxjoiAHU/

 

Jamie Grace was trying to be a grownup this week but it sounds like she still needs some work. She was off to a good start, posting: I just crossed like a thousand things off my to do list. However, she then admitted that it was really only three things and she added: now I’m on twitter, oops.

 

In the latest Jamie Grace Show, she issues an official apology to anyone who is an indirect Jamie Grace listener. She apologized to those who hear her songs constantly because someone else in their family is a huge Jamie Grace fan. Jamie is experiencing that herself. Her parents are taking care of several young kids and she says they constantly sing the chorus of her song White Boots. She says one day they sang White Boots for 35 minutes straight.

https://youtu.be/OmKCHj8Efzo

 

The Sidewalk Prophets this week gave just a taste of what goes on behind the scenes as they prepare for their shows. Dave was in the dressing room rehearsing the song To Live Is Christ from the bands new album Something Different. Check out his practice session accompanied by a string quartet.

http://ow.ly/H6gG3012HKJ

 

Members of Mercyme joined their friends for some fun this week. They posted pictures on twitter and Instagram as the took part in an instavideo scavenger hunt. And from the pictures it looks like some of the tasks were quite interesting. Videos included recording a commercial to sell a candle in the middle of a local store, jumping in the river, and fake vomiting outside a business. The race was created by the wife of Mercyme guitarist Mike Scheuchzer.

 

 

NEWS KICKERS

(No news on the weekends.)

 

NEW NEWS KICKERS…

 

 

NEWS KICKER EVERGREENS…

 

 

WONDER WOMAN

CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD TODAY’S EPISODE… “Low Walmart Prices”

 

 

DAILY COMEDY CLIP

CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD TODAY’S EPISODE… Ken Davis, “Telemarkters”

 

 

AS THE JUNGLE TURNS – WEEKDAY VERSION

CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD MONDAY’S EPISODE  
OPEN: And now, FancyMonkey.com, (Show Name), and (Station Call Letters) bring you As the Jungle Turns!  When last we left the jungle, all of the animals had really busy schedules – so busy in fact that not only did they not have time to get everything done, but they didn’t have time even to plan what they had to do!  They didn’t even have time for campfire meetings – and now, no time to even talk to each other!

 

CLOSE: It’s no wonder they’re so exhausted – they’ve been working so hard and so long without sleep!  But now how will they get everything done on their schedules?  Tune in again next time for another exciting episode of As the Jungle Turns!

 

 

AS THE JUNGLE TURNS – SATURDAY/SUNDAY VERSION

CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD THE EPISODE FOR THE WEEKEND OF JUNE 11/12

 

OPEN: And now FancyMonkey.com, (Show Name), and (Station Call Letters) bring you As the Jungle Turns!  When last we left the jungle, Cheetah Bonita met a group of alligators that sang wonderfully together – and they helped her realize that doing a solo is great once in a while, but not all of the time.  And it looks like all the other animals heard the alligators singing too…

 

CLOSE: Now THAT is a harmonious ending!  Tune in again next time, for another exciting episode of As the Jungle Turns!

 

***You may simulcast “As the Jungle Turns” on the Internet stream of your live broadcast only. Any other Internet use of “As the Jungle Turns” in whole or part including podcasting of your live broadcast is a violation of copyright law. Thank you for your cooperation on this vitally important issue. If you have any questions, please e-mail us and ask about “Jungle Jam & Friends the Radio Show” usage.

 

 

MOMENT OF DUH

Sometimes a Moment of Duh doesn’t have to center around a human being… sometimes it’s an animal that commits the act! 

When Jonah Castle, a 74-year-old farmer in Cottageville, West Virginia, found a dead snake next to his hen house with a bulge in its belly, he naturally wanted to know what the snake had eaten that caused it to die. After making a small incision with a knife, Castle was shocked to see a dimpled object with the words “Top-Flite,” but he knew what had happened. To encourage some of his chickens to lay eggs, Castle places a golf ball on their nests. For some reason, this motivates the hens. Castle figures the snake slithered into his hen house in search of a meal and at the ball by mistake.

 

 

TOP TEN

TOP TEN BUMPER SNICKERS

 

  1. They keep saying the right person will come along; I think a truck hit mine.

 

  1. I just love nonverbal communication!

 

  1. You can’t be late until you show up.

 

  1. If everything is coming your way, then you’re in the wrong lane.6. Why be normal?

    5. Driver carries less than $20 IN AMMUNITION..

    4. The light at the end of the tunnel is the headlight of the oncoming train.

    3. If it is a man made world, why can’t we remake it?

    2. Death is life’s way of telling you you’re fired.

    1. Nothing is illegal until you get caught.

 

 

THE FILES OF LAW & DISORDER

What do you do if you rob a bank and get one of those exploding dye packs with your cash?

 

FILE #1: Darrell Warner held up a bank and got away with a bag of cash. Sadly for him the bag contained one of those exploding dye packets which blew up and stained all the money red. Not willing to give up that easily, Darrell took the money home and soaked it in a big tub of bleach. He then tried to pass one of the wet, smelly, bleached out bills by using it to pay for cab fare. The suspicious cabbie called the cops and gave them directions to Mr. Warner’s house. They stopped by and arrested him.

 

FILE #2: Lance Shafer was wanted by the cops on a parole violation but was minding his own business when he was assaulted and robbed at the local Holiday Inn. He called the cops and gave them a complete report except for one minor detail. Since he was on the run and didn’t want to run the risk of being identified, he claimed to be his brother Luke. And he had his story down, too, even having his brother’s social security number memorized. The cops would have never been any the wiser except when Lance called the station house to see how the investigation was going he said to the detective, “Hi, this is Lance…uh, I mean Luke.” The officer did some checking and Lance was arrested.

 

FILE #3: Not all criminals geniuses live in our country. This guy is from Australia, and he would be much better off if he’d just quit smoking.  A man walked into a supermarket to buy a pack of cigarettes but discovered he was a dollar short. So, he walked next door to a video store and, brandishing a broken bottle, demanded the clerk give him a dollar, which he did. The robber then walked next door and paid for his cigarettes. Apparently, he didn’t think the video store clerk would turn him in to the cops for the theft of just one dollar. He was wrong. The police arrested him as he was walking down the street enjoying his smoke.

 

STRANGE LAW: In Oregon dishes must drip dry.

 

 

THIS IS YOUR BRAIN ON DRUGS

If you’re on drugs, you can drive a car with no hands! 

Police in Dunn, North Carolina, were chasing a car thief and were surprised when he put both his hands up, but continued driving very slowly with his knees on the wheel. Turned out he’d realized he was going to get caught, so he was trying to extend the chase a bit longer so he could light up his pipe and finish smoking some crack. He finally pulled into a parking lot and tried to finish smoking his crack even after he stopped.  ***MARLAR: This seems like a really good idea, but only when you’re smoking crack.

 

 

PHONER PHUN

Which year of your life would you like to do over?  Why?

 

 

BIBLE BRAIN BUSTER!

QUESTION: Who sang in front of a golden calf?
ANSWER: The Israelites (Exodus 32:4, 6, 18)

 

 

QUESTION IMPOSSIBLE

QUESTION: How quickly (or slowly) does Heinz catsup leave its bottle?

ANSWER: The speed at which Heinz catsup travels as it leaves the bottle is a blistering 25 miles per year.

 

 

TRUE OR FALSE

Pay attention!  If our next player doesn’t answer all ten T/F questions correctly we start all over from question #1!  First person to answer question #10 correctly is our winner!

 

  1. In the movie, “True Lies,” a reference is made to an Arnold Schwarzenegger Presidential Library. (False, the movie “Demolition Man”)

 

  1. Bill Crystal paid $239,000 for a Mickey Mantle baseball glove. (True)

 

  1. The TV remote control was the inspiration behind the first roll-on deodorant. (False, the Ballpoint Pen was the inspiration)

 

  1. When it comes to Internet shorthand, the meaning of the acronym WIIFM is “What’s in it for me.” (True)

 

  1. Ecuador and Chile are the only two South American countries that don’t share a border with Brazil. (True)

 

  1. A cat’s haw is it’s bite. (False, its third eyelid)

 

  1. The French cheese that was named in honor of the first US space satellite was Genie Cheese. (False, Explorateur – named for the Explorer 1 satellite)

 

  1. There are three names of the grandchildren mentioned in the hit Beatles song ” When I’m Sixty Four.” (True: Vera, Chuck and Dave)

 

  1. Illegible handwriting is known as “griffonage.” (True)

 

  1. It’s against the law to stare at the mayor of Paris. (True)

 

 

TABLOID MATCH GAME

You have to match the blank in the tabloid headline with the word or phrase that has been removed!

PRESIDENT OBAMA GETS A ________ (TATTOO)

President Obama got a tattoo this week.  His tattoo is a picture of his own face.

He and his wife Michelle  told their two daughters that if they opt for a tattoo they will always get one.

“What we’ve said to the girls is, ‘If you guys ever decided you’re going to get a tattoo, then mummy and me will get the exact same tattoo in the same place. And we’ll go on YouTube and show it off as a family tattoo,’”  President Obama told NBC.

“And our thinking is that might dissuade them from thinking that somehow that’s a good way to rebel.”

But the girls, who are as independent, and strong-willed as their parents, both told their parents that they are definitely going to get tattoos.

SO… President Obama had the White House Tattoo Artist (yes, there is one on staff) put a tattoo on his arm, chest, and stomach.  The three tattoos are all of Obama’s face.

The President actually enjoyed getting the tattoos and was very happy with the his selections.  ”Who else would I put on my body.  I think having a picture of myself on my body, in three places, makes a lot of sense,” The President reportedly said.

President Obama is recommending that all Americans get tattoos (and tattoos of himself) on their bodies.

“I think it sends a good message to the children, if their parents tattoo the President of the United States on their body.  It’s very patriotic.”

 

 

THE WAY TOO EARLY IN THE MORNING TO UNDERSTAND THE PUNCHLINE EVEN AFTER TWO CUPS OF COFFEE JOKE OF THE DAY

JOKE #1

A cowboy rode into town and stopped at the saloon for a drink. Unfortunately, the locals always had the habit of picking on strangers, which he was. When he finished his drink, He found his horse had been stolen.

He went back into the bar, handily flipped his gun into the air, caught it above his head without even looking and fired a shot into the ceiling.

“Which one of you sidewinders stole my horse?!?!?!” he yelled with surprising forcefulness.

No one answered.

“Alright, I’m gonna have another drink, and if my horse ain’t back outside by the time I finish, I’m gonna do what I dun in Texas! And I don’t like to have to do what I dun in Texas!”

Some of the locals shifted restlessly. The man, true to his word, had another drink, walked outside, and his horse had been returned to the post.

He saddled up and started to ride out of town. The bartender wandered out of the bar and asked, “Say pardner, before you go…what happened in Texas?”

The cowboy turned back and said, “I had to walk home.”

 

JOKE #2

The Lamaze class was in full swing. The instructor was teaching the women how to breathe properly, along with informing the men how to give the necessary assurances at this stage of the plan. The teacher then announced, “Ladies, exercise is good for you. Walking is especially beneficial. And, gentlemen, it wouldn’t hurt you to take the time to go walking with your partner!” The room got really quiet. Finally, a man in the middle of the group raised his hand. ” Is it alright if she carries a golf bag while we walk?”

 

JOKE #3

A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment.

The next week the man realized that he would need his wife to wake him at 5.00 am for an early flight to Sydney. Not wanting to be the first to break the silence, he finally wrote on a piece of paper, “Please wake me at 5:00 am”.

The next morning the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 am, and that he had missed his flight. Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn’t woken him when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed..it said…

“It is 5:00 am, wake up!”

 

 

USELESS FACTS

Even though local hunters claim they’ve never done such a thing, a new law in Vienna bans anglers from casting their lines out of moving airplanes or other vehicles. Also, it’s now against the law to hunt deer by blowing them up with explosives. ***MARLAR: Well, crud; I guess I have to find a new place to spend my vacation.

 

In New York, a driver for a heating oil company read the bill wrong and mistakenly pumped at least 50 gallons of oil into basement of the home of a family that had switched to natural gas 35 years ago. The company offered to clean up the mess free of charge. ***MARLAR: Forget that – with today’s gas prices I’d be looking to resell it OPEC.

 

 

FEATURED FUNNIES

SENIOR MOMENTS
Three sisters ages 92, 94, and 96 live in a house together. One night the 96 year old draws a bath. She puts her foot in and pauses. She yells down the stairs “was I getting in or out of the bath?”
The 94 year old yells back ‘I don’t know. I’ll come up and see.” She starts up the stairs and pauses. Then she yells “was I going up the stairs or down?”
The 92 year old is sitting at the kitchen table having tea listening to her sisters. She shakes her head and says “I sure hope I never get that forgetful, knock on wood.” She knocks on the wooden table.  She then yells “I’ll come up and help both of you as soon as I see who’s at the door.”

 

 

IT MUST BE TRUE BECAUSE I HEARD IT ON THE RADIO!

After a legal battle, a Swedish couple have won the right to name their baby son … Lego! 

Couples in Sweden have previously run into trouble with officials over the names Ikea, Veranda, Metallica and the use of Elvis for a girl.  But the Swedish Administrative Court of Appeals has now overruled an earlier decision to stop a couple naming their child after the brightly colored plastic building blocks. ***MARLAR: The next plan to have a daughter and name her EGGO, for great breakfast fun.  “Lego my Eggo!”

 

 

INSPIRATIONAL INSPIRATION

WHAT IS YOUR OPINION OF OTHERS?
In our relationships with others, often what passes for love is little more than a neat business transaction. People are kind to us, so we repay them with equal consideration. When they treat us unjustly, our negative response is really what they asked for. Everything is so balanced, so fair, so logical with this eye-for-an- eye and tooth-for-a-tooth kind of justice. But Christian love never settles for only what’s reasonable. It insists on giving mercy as well as justice. It breaks the chain of logical reactions. General Robert E. Lee was asked what he thought of a fellow officer in the Confederate Army who had made some derogatory remarks about him. Lee rated him as being very satisfactory. The person who asked the question seemed perplexed.

“General,” he said, “I guess you don’t know what he’s been saying about you.”

“I know,” answered Lee. “But I was asked my opinion of him, not his opinion of me!”

 

 

DRIVE TIME DEVOTIONAL

TRIUMPHANT DEFEATS
This was now the third time Jesus appeared to His disciples after He was raised from the dead. – (John 21:14)
William Wallace was a Scotsman who sought freedom from a tyrannical king of England in the 1200s. He initially took up this cause in retaliation for his own personal family losses. His cause grew among the people, and it became an insurrection against England. Wallace entreated Robert the Bruce, the future king of Scotland.  However, Bruce betrayed Wallace in return for lands from the king of England. Wallace was turned over to the king of England to be tortured to death for crimes against England. Bruce realized his betrayal against Wallace and his own country. This remorse led to real repentance and a return to his commitment to the people of Scotland. He finally took ownership of the mission to free Scotland from England. He led the people of Scotland into subsequent battles against England and freed them.  Wallace’s defeat ultimately led to victory through Bruce. It took the lives of many, including Wallace, for victory to be accomplished. [James Mackay, William Wallace, Brave Heart (Edinburgh, Scotland: Mainstream Publishing, 1995).]
So often defeat is what is required before victory can be won. Jesus said that unless the seed dies and goes into the ground it cannot bring forth fruit (see Jn. 12:24). The death of a vision is often required before the fulfillment can really take place.

Have you failed at something in your life? Have you not seen the vision fulfilled you thought you were given? The vision may yet happen.
The disciples thought they suffered their greatest defeat when Jesus died on the cross.  However, this defeat became the greatest victory on earth. Christ’s death gave liberty.  Forgiveness came to all men. New life came forth-new strength for the disciples.  Resurrection and new life came as a result of a “defeat.”
“There are triumphant defeats that rival victories” (Montaigne, French philosopher).

 

 

LEFTOVERS

FATHER’S DAY QUIZ

Father’s Day is coming. So to make sure you’re ready to go, it’s time to take the Father’s Day Quiz…

 

  1. Your father has an important role in your life, and that is:
  • providing the seed that brought you into this world;
  • not only being the main breadwinner in the house, but being a symbol of strength and character;
  • taking up space on the couch all weekend watching ESPN.

 

  1. Father’s Day is an opportunity for you to show your dad:
  • that you truly value his role in your upbringing;
  • that even though you may not openly show it, you love him;
  • that as long as the necktie section at Kmart isn’t sold out, you can get a Father’s Day gift in 5 minutes.

 

  1. While we celebrate Mother’s Day with breakfast in bed for Mom, we tend to begin our Father’s Day with:
  • the same thing — breakfast in bed;
  • taking Dad out for breakfast at (Denny’s);
  • getting him out of bed early so he can mow the lawn before he starts making excuses that it’s too hot to do any yard work.

 

  1. Father’s Day wouldn’t be a true holiday for Dad unless you:
  • tell him you love him and how special he is in your life;
  • take him somewhere nice for dinner;
  • let him take up space on the couch all day watching ESPN.

 

 

LIFE… LIVE IT

This summer you may want to stay away from those shiny lip-glosses…

…some dermatologists say that they can actually increase your risk of developing skin cancer because the slick, shiny nature of the gloss could allow more of the sun’s rays to penetrate directly through the skin instead of getting reflected off of the skin’s surface. If it would become cancerous and left untreated, it can cause disfigurement, and in rare cases, spread to other organs and become deadly.

 

 

JUST FOR FUN

Scientists say methane gas is destroying our planet – but now they have a vaccine!

Scientists in New Zealand claim to have developed a vaccination to reduce methane emissions from gas-passing and belching sheep and cows. Phil Goff, New Zealand’s trade minister said, “Our agricultural research organization was able to map the genome that causes methane in ruminant animals and we believe we can vaccinate against flatulent emissions.” Sheep, cattle, goats and deer produce large quantities of gas through belching and flatulence, as their multiple stomachs digest grass. The 45 million sheep and 10 million cattle in New Zealand burped and passed gas accumulating about 90% of that country’s methane emissions, according to government figures.  ***MARLAR: And in answer to your question, no – there is not yet a version out for husbands.  Looks like we’ll have to save the planet using BEAN-O.

 

 

FUN LIST

ELEVEN RULES KIDS NOT LEARN IN SCHOOL

From the book “Dumbing Down our Kids” by educator Charles Sykes, here’s a list of eleven rules kids did not learn in high school or college. (An email floating around the Internet credit’s this to Bill Gates, but that’s false!)

  • Rule 1. Life is not fair. Get used to it.
  • Rule 2. The world won’t care about your self esteem. The world will expect you to accomplish something BEFORE you feel good about yourself.
  • Rule 3. You will NOT make $60,000 a year right out of high school. You won’t be a vice president with a company car until you earn both.
  • Rule 4. If you think your teacher is tough, wait until you get a boss.
  • Rule 5. Flipping burgers is not beneath your dignity. Your grandparents had a different word for burger flipping. They called it opportunity.
  • Rule 6. If you mess up, it is not your parent’s fault, so don’t whine about your mistakes. Learn from them.
  • Rule 7. Before you were born, your parents weren’t as boring as they are now. They got that way from paying your bills, cleaning your clothes and listening to you talk about how cool you think you are. So, before you try to save the rain forest from the parasites of your parent’s generation, try delousing the closet in your own room.
  • Rule 8. Your school may have done away with winners and losers, life HAS NOT. In some schools they have abolished failing grades and give you as many times as you want to get the right answer. This doesn’t bear the slightest resemblance to ANYTHING in real life.
  • Rule 9. Life is not divided into semesters. You don’t get summer off and very few employers are interested in helping you FIND YOURSELF. You can do that on your own time.
  • Rule 10. Television is NOT real life. In real life people actually have to leave the coffee shop and go to jobs.
  • Rule 11. Be nice to nerds. Chances are you will end up working for them one day.

 

 

MORE SHOW PREP STUFF…

How much peace and quiet do you get during your waking hours?  Not much!

The Internet. The TV. The BlackBerry. The iPod. The iPhone. We’re so busy with “media noise” that there is no time left for peace and quiet. According to a study from media researchers at Britain’s M-Lab, the average person gets only 63 minutes of peace and quiet each day. And that’s on a good day. One in three adults don’t even get an hour of rest from media noise while at home, and 22% get 30 minutes or less. About one-third of us wake up to the sound of a television or radio, and 71% listen to a TV, radio or use their computer just before going to sleep at night. The typical adult consumes more than 50 hours of media a week. ***MARLAR: I’m way above that.  Hey – waddaya know, I’m above average!  First time for everything!  (Gee… where do we fit God in that busy schedule.  Hmm…)

 

 

OTHER STUFF I WANT TO CRAM INTO TODAY’S PREP

If your marriage could use a little help, the next 31 days could change everything. According to Focus on the Family President Jim Daly, that may sound like a promise right out of an infomercial, but it’s closer to the truth than you might think. He says the solution is to make a few subtle changes in your dealing with one another. That could include a 5-to-10-second kiss instead of a peck on the cheek, or taking a short walk together each day. Jim says: Do things like that consistently for 31 days, and you can deepen your connection and intimacy more quickly than you might think.

http://t.co/ZXEderHfuW

 

Researchers say they have developed a “second skin” made of polymer that is strong, stretchy and adherent, just like the real thing.  The silicon-based film forms from two different creams that are applied one after the other. The combination forms an invisible polymer layer that reinforces the skin beneath, while also providing a breathable barrier layer on top.  They say the biggest challenge was finding something with all those properties of real skin: elastic, invisible, durable, moisturizing, and adheres well. They say the new “second skin” will be used to protect and enhance the skin, as well as combat skin diseases.  It’s amazing how far technology has brought us… by doing its best to copy God’s perfect creation!

http://on.mash.to/24Hktxr

 

Teenagers depend on their cell phones for keeping up with friends and trends on social media. But should they be allowed to have them in school?  A study from the London School of Economics for the first time provided hard evidence that banning phones in school actually BOOSTS student achievement. The study found that, in schools that banned mobile phones, student scores on standardized tests went up 6.4 percent on average. Lower performing students benefited the most from phone bans.

http://www.worldmag.com/2015/06/study_cellphones_in_schools_hurt_low_performing_students

 

Grilling this summer?  The Food Network Kitchen is out with a list of their 5 grilling mishaps, and how to avoid them. Topics include getting it lit, avoiding stuck on food, uneven cooking, and stopping flare-ups. Read all the tips and perfect your summer grilling…

https://www.yahoo.com/food/grilling-fails-and-how-to-avoid-them-120044312606.html

 

 

AND I LEAVE YOU WITH THIS THOUGHT

That’s it for me, troops. Until tomorrow, this is (JOCK) saying so long, and remember — a rolling belly button gathers no lint.

 

 

THE TICKET Movie Reviews with MARIE ASNER

Marie Asner has been reviewing films for over 30 years. Her outlets include radio, print and Internet.  For more in-depth movie reviews of the following films, visit www.Tollbooth.org.  Ratings from 1 (Low) to 5 (High).

 

JUNE 10, 2016…

 

The Conjuring 2—I think we may be having the horror-film-of-the-week this summer. This week, it is a continuation of Patrick Wilson and Vera Farmiga going after demons and ghosts in London. They are professionals at this. “The Conjuring 2” is rated R. No rating.

 

Genius (opening in select cities)—As depicted here, author Thomas Wolfe (Jude Law) didn’t have an easy time writing, and his editor (Colin Firth) tries to help him. Also in the cast are Nicole Kidman and Laura Linney. “Genius” is rated PG 13. No rating.

 

Now You See Me 2—The first film showed what happens behind the scenes in magic shows, but now the group called The Four Horseman meet someone who isn’t the best magician in the world, played by Daniel Radcliffe.  The adventure unfolds. Stars Jesse Eisenberg, Morgan Freeman and Liza Caplan. “Now You See Me 2” is rated PG 13. Rating of 2 for fans.

 

The Music Of Strangers (opening in select cities)—Yo Yo Ma, the world famous cello player, is part of a music ensemble called the Silk Road Ensemble and this documentary shows the group at work. “The Music Of Strangers” is rated PG. Rating of 3 for music fans.

 

Warcraft—Adapted from the video game, this fantasy is something like “The Hobbit” stories about strange creatures and, of course, warfare. Two different groups of people have to get along to fight a common enemy. Shades of isn’t-that-a-sword-in-your-hand?  The film stars Dominic Cooper, Paula Patton and Travis Finnel. “Warcraft” is rated PG 13. No rating.

 

JUNE 17, 2016…

 

Central Intelligence stars Dwayne Johnson in a comedy about spies who don’t get along.

 

Finding Dory is the animated sequel to “Finding Nemo” and has the same voices including Ellen DeGeneres as Dory, who wants to find her parents.

 

# # # # #

 

 

WARNING:    Don’t believe anything you read on the Internet or email (including stuff you read here) unless you can confirm it with another source, and/or it is consistent with what you already know to be true. The opinions in this publication are not necessarily those of Darren Marlar, Marlar House Entertainment, OnAirPrep.com, or any company or organization affiliated with aforementioned.  (Regardless of how stupid you may think those opinions are.  So there – nyah!)

Darren Marlar credits all non-original material to the author whenever possible. All other material is original, used with permission, or author unknown. We welcome all comments, questions, and suggestions.  Darren can be reached via his website at www.DarrenMarlar.com.