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***DAILY DOSE OF WEIRD NEWS
***CREATION MOMENTS MINUTE
PRINTER FRIENDLY VERSION: 20150620
WELCOME TO THE SHOW!
Here I am again, gang — returning to the scene of the crime.
BIBLE VERSE OF THE DAY
Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus. — 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18
Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy. — Ephesians 5:25-26
HEARTLIGHT VERSE & THOUGHT
They preached the good news in that city and won a large number of disciples. Then they returned… strengthening the disciples and encouraging them to remain true to the faith. — Acts 14:21-22
Thought: Let’s make a commitment to do better at helping our new brothers and sisters in Christ grow in Christ. The apostles didn’t just lead people to Christ, they also encouraged and strengthened them in their faith.
Prayer: Holy and loving God, thank you for those precious people who nurtured me when I was a young Christian. Please use me to bless the new Christians in my church family. In the name of my brother and Lord, Jesus Christ. Amen.
“BIRTH VERSE” OF THE DAY
The chapter and verse corresponds to the month and the day!
Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus. — 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18
TODAY IS SATURDAY – JUNE 20, 2015
(NOTE: Some holidays may be duplicated due to various calendars reporting conflicting dates)
WEIRD, WACKY, STRANGE, ZANY, ODD, BIZARRE, QUIRKY, UNUSUAL HOLIDAYS!
THERE ARE ONLY 189 SHOPPING DAYS UNTIL CHRISTMAS.
Today is JAWS DAY, marking release of the film on this date in 1975. ***MARLAR: Don’t go in the water! (
It’s NATIONAL VANILLA MILKSHAKE DAY, sometimes called ICE CREAM SODA DAY. ***MARLAR: But they’re NOT the same… so to be fair to everyone I’ll have to order one of each.
Today is WOMAN RUNS THE HOUSE DAY, marking this date in 1921 when Alice Robertson of Oklahoma became the first woman to preside over the U.S. House of Representatives. She presided for 30 minutes. ***MARLAR: Woman Runs the House Day – celebrated at my house every day of the year.
Today is NATIONAL WRITE A LOVE LETTER DAY. ***MARLAR: To the woman that runs the house.
Today is TINY GLOVES DAY. On this day in 1995, at the O.J. Simpson murder trial, Simpson struggled to don a pair of gloves that prosecutors said were worn the night Simpson’s ex-wife, Nicole, and her friend, Ronald Goldman, were murdered. ***MARLAR: Proving conclusively that he murdered them with gloves that didn’t fit.
TODAY IS ALSO. . .
American Eagle Day
Polar Bear Swim
World Productivity Day
World Refugee Day
COMING UP NEXT
SUNDAY, JUNE 21
Atheists Solidarity Day
Cuckoo Warning Day
Family Awareness Day
National Daylight Appreciation Day
Husband Caregiver Day
Summer Solstice (12:38pm)
Tall Girl Appreciation Day
World Humanist Day
World Music Day
MONDAY, JUNE 22
Stupid Guy Thing Day
Baby Boomers Recognition Day
TUESDAY, JUNE 23
Let It Go Day
Public Service Day
Runner’s Selfie Day
SAT Math Day
Windjammer Days (23-24)
WEDNESDAY, JUNE 24
Celebration of the Senses
THURSDAY, JUNE 25
Color TV Day (CBS)
Day of the Seafarer
Global Beatles Day
National Hand Shake Day
FRIDAY, JUNE 26
International Day Against Drug Abuse And Illicit Trafficking
International Day in Support of Victims of Torture
National Canoe Day
SATURDAY, JUNE 27
Decide To Be Married Day
“Happy Birthday To You” Day
Industrial Workers of The World Day
National HIV Testing Day
Great American Backyard Campout
ON THIS DAY
1877: Canadian inventor Alexander Graham Bell installed the world’s first commercial telephone service in Hamilton, Ontario. ***MARLAR: Followed five minutes later by a call asking him to switch long-distance companies.
1887: On Queen Victoria’s Golden Jubilee, Buffalo Bill Cody staged a Royal Command Performance of his famous Wild West Show and four European kings boarded the original Deadwood stagecoach driven by Cody.
1949: American tennis player Gussie Moran incited a scandal at Wimbledon when the crowd caught glimpses of lace-trimmed panties under her knee-length skirt.
1967: Boxer Muhammad Ali was convicted in Houston of violating Selective Service laws by refusing to be drafted. Later, the Supreme Court overturned the conviction.
1969: Newport ‘69 drew 150,000 music fans. Rocker Jimi Hendrix got $120,000 to appear.
1972: The old Tallahatchie Bridge, made famous in Bobbie Gentry’s 1967 blockbuster “Ode to Billy Joe,” collapsed in Mississippi.
1973: “American Bandstand” celebrated its 20th anniversary with a 90-minute television special featuring Little Richard, Paul Revere & the Raiders, Cheech and Chong, Three Dog Night and, of course, Dick Clark. (
1975: A guerrilla group in Buenos Aires was paid a $60-million ransom to release the kidnapped brothers Jorge and Juan Born.
1977: Charlie, history’s oldest caged budgerigar, died in London at age 29 years 2 months. A budgie is an Australian parakeet.
1986: In Rochester, New York, eating champ Peter Dowdeswell ate 144 prunes in 32 seconds.
1988: Price Is Right model Janice Pennington was knocked out cold by a TV camera. (
1993: The Chicago Bulls won their third straight NBA championship, the first team to “three-peat” since the 1966 Boston Celtics.
1994: A downcast O.J. Simpson pleaded not guilty to the slayings of his ex-wife, Nicole Brown, and waiter Ronald Goldman.
1996: Police seized 10-thousand ice cream bars and pad-locked the factory in Xuzhou, China, after children reported the sticks in their ice cream bars turned out to be plastic models of naked women.
2001: A woman in Panama City, Florida, got so angry with her husband over what was termed “a minor matter,” she took one of his shirts from a closet and set it on fire. The blaze spread and burned down their house. The wife was charged with arson. Investigators said insurance would not pay the $65,000 damage because the fire was started by one of the owners.
2002: The U.S. Supreme Court declared unconstitutionally cruel the execution of mentally retarded murderers.
2004: Retief Goosen won his second U.S. Open Golf championship in four years at Shinnecock Hills in Southampton, New York.
TODAY IN CHRISTIAN HISTORY
1599: The Synod of Diamper, of the Roman Catholic church, was created to correct the errors of Christians in India and bring conformity to the teachings of the church.
1885: A band of Moravian missionaries landed on the shores of Alaska and founded the Bethel Mission.
1907: R. A. Torrey receives his DD from Wheaton. A prominent evangelist, Torrey also wrote the popular “What the Bible Teaches.”
1965: The bodies of missionaries Tim Van Dyke and Steve Welsh, martyred the day before in Columbia, South America, are found, and transferred to the US for burial.
HOLLYWOOD, SPORTS AND CELEBRITY FIGURE BIRTHDAYS
- actress (Bewitched, Moulin Rouge, The Hours, Cold Mountain) Nicole Kidman 47
- singer/actress Cyndi Lauper 61
- Actor (The Flintstones movie, “Roseanne”, Blues Brothers 2000) John Goodman, 62 (
- TV Handyman Bob Vila 68
- Actor (the dad on “Frasier”) John Mahoney, 74 (
- Actress (Steel Magnolias, Oscar for Moonstruck) Olympia Dukakis 83
- Actor (Oscar for Ed Wood) Martin Landau, 83
(Music Artist Birthdays From SongFacts.com)
1819 : Jacques Offenbach
1924 : Chet Atkins
1937 : Jerry Keller
1942 : Brian Wilson (The Beach Boys)
1945 : Anne Murray
1949 : Alan Longmuir (The Bay City Rollers)
1954 : Michael Anthony (Van Halen)
1960 : John Taylor (Duran Duran)
1968 : Murphy Karges (Sugar Ray)
1972 : Twiggy Ramirez (Marilyn Manson)
1976 : Jerome Earl Fontamillas (Switchfoot)
SECRETS OF THE UNIVERSE
Why do we associate Dalmatians with firemen?
I could imagine 101 different reasons. But lest anyone accuse me of dogging it, I’ve pawed through some reference sources to bring you a credible answer. The answer is simple. The key facts are that there is a natural affinity between Dalmatians and horses, and Dalmatians make good watchdogs. People who owned valuable horses often kept Dalmatians around to guard them against horse thieves. Fire engines used to be drawn by fast and powerful horses, a tempting target for thieves. So, Dalmatians were kept in the firehouse as deterrence to theft. The horses have long since gone, but the Dalmatians, by tradition, have stayed. Would you like an even simpler explanation? Firemen are often on the spot, while the spots are always on the Dalmatians.
CHRISTIAN ARTIST NEWS
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Mercyme’s Mike Scheuchzer has found a new way of identifying a good friend. Mike tweeted: Measurement of a good friend is one who will knock on the door of the people who bought your old house before they have a chance to paint and make a copy of your door frame measuring stick. Attached was a picture of the stick showing the measurements of Mike’s kids as they grew over the years.
After 27 albums and three decades in the music industry, Michael w. Smith is taking a risk. According to an article in Guidepost Magazine, Michael’s new CD Sovereign is a departure from his usual style, trading in the live orchestra for a studio sound. Michael is also doing more touring outside the USA. He has already been in Nigeria, South Africa and Brazil this year and he will soon be hitting the road again, this time heading to Tokyo, North Korea and Ukraine. In between Michael W. Smith is working with his eldest son Tyler on the soundtrack for the new Kate Bosworth film 90 Minutes in Heaven. http://t.co/YEJQM8cKoc
Matt Maher is an outspoken champion of unity and collaboration, not just amongst Christians on a level of faith but also on a civic level.” Perhaps the most outspoken example of this desire is the song “Sons and Daughters.” Although the song was written before the Ferguson incident made headlines, the timely track is an ode to Martin Luther King, Jr., and Maher’s attempt to speak into racial reconciliation. Matt says “God used the church in the ’60s to inspire a nation for healing. Faith was the thing that motivated people toward eradicating injustice.” Matt goes on to say that “Sons and Daughters” is a special song, and I hope it will play a part in inspiring more Christian leaders toward re-engagement in the issue of civil rights.”
David Crowder is noticing an epidemic of misleading adds promoting sales that don’t really exist. Earlier he shared a picture of a sales flyer announcing a rate drop of one penny, from $149 to $148.99. Now Crowder is out with another sales banner that looks better than it actually is. This banner proclaims: Buy Three for the Price of Three!
Natalie Grant took the next step this week in producing her newest album. She was part of a photo shoot for her ninth album and tweeted: I’m having the most fun I’ve had yet.
David Crowder was taking this week about the social role of music and art. The worship leader told Relevant Magazine that what we sing about changes the way we think. Crowder said: Worship and justice go hand in hand. If what you’re singing doesn’t change what you do, what’s the point of singing? When you help people sing about Jesus and model their lives after Jesus, it’s going to change the way they interact with their neighbors. http://www.relevantmagazine.com/culture/music/worship-and-justice-go-hand-hand
Plumb’s daughter Lucy was eating ice cream this week for the very first time. Plumb tweeted: From her response it’s safe to say that blueberry cheesecake ice cream will probably always be her favorite! The ice cream was almost as delicious as she is!
Newsboys drummer Duncan Phillips is now the father of a teenager. His eldest, Taylor, turned 13 this week. ***MARLAR: So you might want to add him to your prayer list.
The new CCM Magazine is focused on fathers and fatherhood. The free magazine focused on Christian music features the thoughts of several fathers, including Chris Tomlin. Also in this weeks edition are Father’s Day stories from Skillet, Ellie Holcomb, and more. http://www.ccmmagazine.com/getissue/196/jun_15_2015/
Jamie Grace says the Warriors NBA championship is hitting close to home. Following their win over Cleveland this week Jamie tweeted: now my dad just CASUALLY tells me he went to high school with AND played baseball with Warriors coach Steve Kerr.
WEIRD & WACKY
|Ohio man pleads not guilty to accepting teen’s stolen cash
MEDINA, Ohio (AP) — A 70-year-old northeast Ohio man has pleaded not guilty to a charge of receiving stolen property for allegedly accepting cash from a 13-year-old boy accused of stealing $25,000 from his grandfather. The charge accuses the man of accepting less than $7,500. He pleaded not…
|UK man sneaks marriage proposal into newspaper crossword photo
LONDON (AP) — It’s a case of two down: the aisle. A crossword-loving British lawyer hid a marriage proposal in The Times newspaper’s daily puzzle. Matthew Dick thought of the cryptic way of popping the question to girlfriend Delyth Hughes and persuaded the newspaper to agree. Tuesday’s Times…
|Wisconsin city bars use of kangaroos as service animals
BEAVER DAM, Wis. (AP) — Officials have changed a southeastern Wisconsin city’s rules on service animals after a woman took a baby kangaroo into a McDonald’s restaurant. HASH(0x142faf0) Beaver Dam police say the woman wrapped the baby kangaroo in a blanket and tucked it in an infant car seat,…
|Cops: Would-be good Samaritan helps, then makes things worse
GENESEE FALLS, N.Y. (AP) — Authorities say a good Samaritan trying to help a New York man in distress turned out to be a bad Samaritan. The Wyoming County sheriff’s office says a man’s foot got stuck under his riding mower last week on a sloped lawn near an embankment in Genesee Falls….
|No joke: Emerson College in Boston to offer major in comedy
BOSTON (AP) — Emerson College in Boston will soon offer a degree in making people laugh. The communications and arts school said Wednesday that starting in September 2016, it will become the first college to offer a four-year bachelor of fine arts in comedic arts degree. The degree will be…
|3 little pig houses removed from Ohio crash site photo
XENIA, Ohio (AP) — Three miniature houses modeled after the “Three Little Pigs” folktale have been removed from the side of an Ohio road where a truck hauling 2,200 piglets crashed — but it wasn’t a big bad wolf that blew them away. HASH(0x140db30) One house was made from straw, another…
|Thieves break into Ohio pet rescue, swipe 7 rare pythons
AKRON, Ohio (AP) — An Ohio pet rescue is searching for seven rare pythons that were stolen from the shop over the weekend. Akron Rattery and Reptile Rescue CEO Robin Everley says the snakes were taken Saturday when thieves cut a hole in a wall in an adjacent building and broke in. She says…
|Police: Lotto winner leaves behind voucher at turnpike plaza
BEDFORD, Pa. (AP) — Police say a man accidentally left a Pennsylvania Turnpike plaza without claiming a $500 prize from a scratch-off lottery ticket, only to have another man claim the winnings. Troopers from the Bedford barracks say the York man accidentally left the voucher displayed on a…
|Distracted GOP lawmaker accidentally OKs California budget
SACRAMENTO, Calif. (AP) — A Republican lawmaker accidentally cast his party’s first vote for the California budget in years because he was distracted by Facebook. Assemblyman Scott Wilk was the sole Republican to vote for California’s record $117.5 billion spending plan Monday. The Santa…
|Government worker drives Mercedes SUV seized in drug case
HARRISBURG, Pa. (AP) — The Pennsylvania attorney general’s office is defending an arrangement that allows a top administrator to drive a Mercedes SUV seized in a drug case as his state-issued vehicle. HASH(0x13ebd90) Spokesman Chuck Ardo says having Duecker drive a seized vehicle saves money…
|3 postal workers accused of rigging Operation Santa program photo
NEW YORK (AP) — Three postal workers played the Grinch and stole laptop computers, a toy train, boots and other gifts destined for underprivileged children by rigging the Operation Santa program where they worked, authorities said. In a part of Manhattan where the movie “Miracle on 34th…
HEALTH & FITNESS
|Dengue fever outbreak infects thousands in war-torn Yemen
SANAA, Yemen (AP) — Health officials and international organizations say thousands of people have been diagnosed with dengue fever in southern Yemen, where fighting has raged for months between Shiite rebels and their opponents. The top health ministry official in the southern port city of…
|House ready to repeal pieces of Obama health care law photo
WASHINGTON (AP) — Despite White House veto threats, the House is ready to vote to repeal taxes on medical devices and kill a Medicare advisory board that foes say would ration health care as the chamber aims its latest whack at President Barack Obama’s health care law. Thursday’s votes were…
|WHO chief reassures South Korea as its MERS deaths reach 23 photo
SEOUL, South Korea (AP) — The head of the World Health Organization on Thursday praised beleaguered South Korean officials and exhausted health workers, saying their efforts to contain a deadly MERS virus outbreak have put the country on good footing and lowered the public risk. Margaret Chan…
|UN: Spread of MERS in South Korea isn’t global emergency photo
LONDON (AP) — The World Health Organization says the spread of a mysterious virus from the Middle East to South Korea doesn’t merit being declared a global emergency despite infecting more than 160 people in the biggest outbreak outside the Arabian peninsula. In a statement Wednesday, the…
|German hospital says quads born to 65-year-old doing well photo
BERLIN (AP) — Doctors say quadruplets born prematurely a month ago to a 65-year-old woman in Germany are doing well and gaining weight but one remains on a respirator. Berlin’s Charite hospital said Wednesday the four babies — a girl named Neeta and three boys named Dries, Bence and…
|Q&A: What are trans fats and why are they unhealthy? photo
WASHINGTON (AP) — You may not even know you are eating them, but trans fats will soon be mostly gone from your food. The Food and Drug Administration said Tuesday it will require food companies to phase them out over the next three years because the agency says they are a threat to public…
|What is trans fat? A look at different kinds of fats
The FDA is phasing out artificial trans fats from the food supply, but people should limit their intake of saturated fats, too, which can also cause heart disease. There are three main types of fat: unsaturated, saturated and trans fats. UNSATURATED FAT: These are the good fats, and doctors say…
|Former Packers QB Bart Starr took part in stem cell trial
Green Bay Packers Hall of Fame quarterback Bart Starr is participating in a clinical trial using stem cells as a possible treatment for strokes. Starr suffered two strokes and a mild heart attack last September. His family said Wednesday in a statement released by the Packers that Starr is…
|Senator probes retailers on dubious ‘brain’ supplements photo
WASHINGTON (AP) — A high-ranking Senate Democrat is probing retailers and online companies about sales of dubious dietary supplements, especially those promising seniors protection from memory loss, dementia and other age-related problems. The pills, tablets and formulas targeted by Senator…
|Is baby recession over? US births up after years of decline photo
NEW YORK (AP) — It appears the baby recession really is over: Preliminary figures show U.S. births were up last year for the first time in seven years. About 53,000 more babies were born in 2014 than the year before — a 1 percent increase. Births were up for nearly every racial and…
|Rhode Island toddler dies of suspected bacterial infection
PROVIDENCE, R.I. (AP) — More than a dozen children at a day care have been given preventative antibiotics as a precaution after a toddler there died of a suspected bacterial infection, the state Department of Health said Wednesday. The 13-month-old child, whose name has not been made public,…
(None on the weekends)
NEW NEWS KICKERS…
NEWS KICKER EVERGREENS…
CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD TODAY’S EPISODE… “Slow Children Running Child”
DAILY COMEDY CLIP
CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD TODAY’S EPISODE… Paul Aldrich, “Rock Star Commercials”
AS THE JUNGLE TURNS – WEEKDAY VERSION
CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD MONDAY’S EPISODE
OPEN: And now, FancyMonkey.com, (Show Name), and (Station Call Letters) bring you As the Jungle Turns! When last we left the jungle, Nozzles the Elephant had just purchased a new book… a book with no title, filled with nothing but blank pages. He was wondering what to write in the book, when suddenly he was talking with Gruffy and thought it’d be a good to write down the tools Gruffy had borrowed from him to keep a record…
CLOSE: Oh great… now everyone’s getting into it. It won’t be long and we’ll have an entire book filled with nothing but complaints about how people treat one another. That can’t be good for friendships! Our story continues next time, As the Jungle Turns!
AS THE JUNGLE TURNS – SATURDAY/SUNDAY VERSION
CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD THE EPISODE FOR THE WEEKEND OF JUNE 20/21, 2015
OPEN: And now, FancyMonkey.com, (Show Name), and (Station Call Letters) bring you another inspiringly inspiring inspirational story in the never-ending deep-jungle soap-opera saga that is As the Jungle Turns!
CLOSE: Being a boy is tough – and going to school, doing homework, chores, and cleaning up your room may not be very fun, but what WOULD happen if you never had to work? Tune in next time, for As the Jungle Turns!
***You may simulcast “As the Jungle Turns” on the Internet stream of your live broadcast only. Any other Internet use of As the Jungle Turns in whole or part including podcasting of your live broadcast is a violation of copyright law. Thank you for your cooperation on this vitally important issue. If you have any questions, please e-mail us.
MOMENT OF DUH
A demolition crew tried to dynamite a city block and failed… but they did manage to damage houses in the rest of the neighborhood!
An attempt to demolish a block of flats in Romania has left the block untouched… but it did make 24 nearby houses uninhabitable. The promised ‘controlled’ explosion in the town of Flaminzi also blew out every house window within 500 feet. The roofs of two nearby buildings collapsed as well. The block of flats was due to be destroyed to make way for a church.
TOP TEN WAYS TO KNOW YOU’RE OVER THE HILL… YOU REMEMBER…
- Blackjack chewing gum
- Wax Coke-shaped bottles with colored sugar water
- Candy cigarettes
- Soda pop machines that dispensed bottles
- Coffee shops with tableside jukeboxes
- Home milk delivery in glass bottles with cardboard stoppers
- Party lines
- Newsreels before the movie
- P.F. Flyers
- Butch wax
THE FILES OF LAW & DISORDER
Vanity can get you into a lot of trouble if you’re a robber!
FILE #1: Kevin Shegog of Covington, Ky., robbed a gas station and made his getaway in a car with license plates reading “SHEGOG.” Yup, personalized plates with his last name.
FILE #2: George Donald of the United Kingdom, looking for a job, walked into a business, gave the owner his name and phone number, then proceeded to steal the owner’s handbag and ran off with it.
FILE #3: Christopher Ciotoli of upstate New York was arrested for car theft after, while driving the stolen car, he slowed down to wave ‘hello’ to a sheriff’s deputy he recognized from a prior jail term, thus giving the deputy a chance to read and check out the license plate.
STRANGE LAW: In Kansas it is illegal for restaurants to sell cherry pie à la mode on Sundays.
THIS IS YOUR BRAIN ON DRUGS
A British woman’s bulging wig didn’t fool customs agents in Norway who realized she wasn’t just having a bad hair day.
The wig was concealing more than two pounds of cocaine glued to her head. Customs agents detained her on suspicion of cocaine smuggling. The bag of cocaine was glued so firmly to the woman’s real hair that police reportedly had to take her to a local hospital to have it removed. A court ordered the women held until July 15th, pending a formal indictment and trial.
According to a recent study, we lose an amazing 1 million mobile phone handsets each year – by accidentally dropping them into the toilet and flushing them away. Common causes of losing mobile handsets were falling out of pockets and being knocked into the toilet when being placed on things like the toilet roll holder. ***MARLAR: On the toilet roll holder? For what – in case you want to go to the bathroom and use speaker mode?
What’s the weirdest way you’ve lost or destroyed a cell phone?
BIBLE BRAIN BUSTER!
QUESTION: The disciples James and John were the sons of Zebedee. Who was their mother?
ANSWER: Salome. (Mark 15:40)
QUESTION: Scientists have said that they could fill how many volumes of an encyclopedia with the DNA code from a single human cell if the instructions could be duplicated into English.
ANSWER: They say they could fill a 1,000 volume encyclopedia
TRUE OR FALSE
Pay attention! If our next player doesn’t answer all ten T/F questions correctly we start all over from question #1! First person to answer question #10 correctly is our winner!
- Boxing champion Gene Tunney taught art at Yale University. (False – he taught Shakespeare)
- A quarter of the horses in the U.S. died of a large virus epidemic in 1872. (True)
- When Beethoven was a child, he made such a poor impression on his music teachers that he was pronounced hopeless as a composer. (True)
- A forfeited game in basketball ends with a score of 1-0. (False… 2-0)
- The Kansas City Railroad used to stop their trains to allow the passengers to shoot at passing buffalo. (True)
- The umbrella originated in China. (False – ancient Egypt. It was used as a symbol of rank)
- The first motion picture copyrighted in the U.S was in 1894 of a man sneezing. (True)
- French Astronomer Adrien Auzout had once considered building a telescope that was 1,000 feet long in the 1600s. (True. He thought the magnification would be so great, he would see animals on the moon.)
- Women shoplift more often than men at a ratio of 4 to 1. (True)
- The patent number of the telephone is ironically 1,234,567,890. (False – it’s #174,465)
TABLOID MATCH GAME
You have to match the blank in the tabloid headline with the word or phrase that has been removed!
______ ZOO TO OPEN IN SOUTH AFRICA (DINOSAUR)
Excited scientists are hatching eggs recently found in 130 million-year-old dinosaur nest in South Africa.
“The embryos are still intact and we can extract enough DNS to clone the creatures,” one scientist said. ”In effect, we can hatch the eggs just as well as the mommy dino could.”
In all, 340 eggs belonging to a primitive dinosaur species named Massopondylus, a smaller ancestor of the gigantic, long-decked sauropods of the Jurassic period, were found in 34 separate nests.
“The nests were covered by a mud flow that happened very quickly, possible the result of an earthquake,” the scientist said. ”That’s why the embryos are so well preserved. They still contain viable DNA and within a month or so we will successfully clone one or several of the creatures.”
Although the mother who tended the nest was about 50 feet long, her eggs are only about three times the size of chicken eggs.
“For that reason we will be using ostrich eggs to grow the embryos until they hatch,” the scientist said. ”There is no reason at all that the dinosaur babies will not be healthy and ready to fend for itself.”
Sources close to the South African government say TV networks in the United States and Europe are prepared to bid high for the exclusive coverage of the dinosaur births.
“They want to film a live dinosaur pecking its way out of a shell,” the scientist said, “the first time it’s happened in 60 million years. It will be a wonderful experience for TV viewers across the world.”
THE WAY TOO EARLY IN THE MORNING TO UNDERSTAND THE PUNCHLINE EVEN AFTER TWO CUPS OF COFFEE JOKE OF THE DAY
I was in a car dealership yesterday looking at cars because my car broke down Wednesday night while my wife was driving it. We can’t afford a new car, but when you don’t have a car, you really can’t afford not to go shopping for one either. Anyway, I was at the dealership yesterday and a large motor home was towed into the garage. The front of the vehicle was in dire need of repair and the whole thing generally looked like an extra from the movie Twister. It was a disaster – I couldn’t believe the motor home wasn’t totaled. I asked the manager of the service department what had happened and he told me that the driver had set the “cruise control” and then went in the back to make a sandwich.
An eccentric philosophy professor gave a one question final exam after a semester dealing with a broad array of topics. The class was already seated and ready to go when the professor picked up his chair, plopped it on his desk and wrote on the board: “Using everything we have learned this semester, prove that this chair does not exist.” Fingers flew, erasers erased, notebooks were filled in furious fashion. Some students wrote over 30 pages in one hour attempting to refute the existence of the chair. One member of the class however, was up and finished in less than a minute.
Weeks later when the grades were posted, the rest of the group wondered how he could have gotten an A when he had barely written anything at all. His answer consisted of two words: “What chair?”
An eye doctor, a heart surgeon and an HMO executive die and are in heaven. God asks the eye doctor why he should be let into heaven, and the doctor explains to God that he helped people save or regain their sight. God says, “Welcome to heaven, my son.” God then asks the heart surgeon what he had done in life that should allow him into heaven. “I saved people from death from heart attacks and heart disease,” the doctor replies. “Welcome to heaven, my son,” God says. God then turns to the HMO executive. God asked him what he was, and the man replied that he worked for an HMO. “Welcome to heaven, my son,” says God, ”but you have to leave in two days.”
A sun temple dating back to 1213 BC has been found near Cairo. Ancient Egyptians worshipped the sun as the source of all good. ***MARLAR: In exchange for their devotion, each was given melanoma.
If you enjoy sardines on toast or a dinner of oily fish, they’ll help to keep your weight down and maintain good health, a recent study reveals. ***MARLAR: Because they taste nasty and you eat less.
MY FATHER’S THE BEST
Three boys were bragging about their fathers. The first one said, “My father runs so fast he can fire an arrow, start running, and get there before the arrow!”
The second one said, “That’s nothing! My father can shoot a gun, start running, and get there before the bullet!”
The third boy just smiled. “That’s nothing. My father is a civil servant. He gets off work at 5 and is home before 4!”
IT MUST BE TRUE BECAUSE I HEARD IT ON THE RADIO!
Do you keep hearing cell phones around you, yet there are no cell phones to be seen? You could be hearing a bird mimicking that sound! Isn’t THAT annoying?!
Australia has one of the highest mobile phone usage rates in the world, and the electronic tweeting of mobile phones is so widespread that some Australian birds are mimicking the sound – and making it part of their mating and territorial songs. Australia has six so-called mimic birds which commonly imitate sounds in nature, particularly other bird calls, as part of their mating and territorial displays. So how does a female mimic bird choose a mate? It listens for a male bird that is up to date on the latest cell phone tweeting! If you think this is strange, then consider Australia’s lyre bird. It’s the best mimic of them all, and imitates the click and whir of cameras, the buzz of chain saws and the roar of motorcycles.
Being a father is not easy. And for all his efforts, a Dad often hears more criticism than praise. A father may work hard to support his family, but be hounded because he can’t afford the latest electronic gizmo. He may offer sound advice to his children, but be dismissed as being out of touch with current life. He may show interest in his teenager’s friends, but be accused of being nosy. He has only their good in mind and at heart, but they don’t appreciate him.
There’s a story about a boy who was saying grace at the family table. He got mixed up and said, “Dear Dad, we thank you for this food.” Everybody laughed except Dad, who felt deeply touched. “I work hard to provide for the family,” he said. Lately I’ve felt taken for granted. It’s been a long time since anyone said ‘thanks,’ even by accident.”
Another grown son told his father, “For several years I have resisted you. I was sure you were wrong about everything. Only recently have I begun to see all the right things you did. I just want you to know I understand.” His Dad broke down and cried.
Do something special for your Dad this weekend (and more frequently in the future). Let him know that he’s truly appreciated.
DRIVE TIME DEVOTIONAL
LEGAL VERSUS RIGHT
READ: Acts 5:17-29
Peter and the other apostles answered and said: “We ought to obey God rather than men.” —Acts 5:29
In his powerful book Unspeakable, Os Guinness wrestles with the problem of evil in the world. In one section, he focuses on the Nuremberg trials that followed World War II. The Nazis stood charged with crimes against humanity, and their mantra of defense was simple: “I was merely following orders.” The verdict, however, was that the soldiers had a moral obligation to defy orders that, though legal, were clearly wrong.
In a much different context, Peter and the disciples were arrested for presenting the message of the risen Christ and brought before the religious rulers in Jerusalem. Rather than allowing themselves to be shaped by the mood of the mob, the disciples declared their intention to continue preaching Christ.
The orders of the religious establishment may have been legal, but they were wrong. When the disciples chose to obey God rather than the godless religious leaders, they raised a standard of conviction that rose above the opinions of the rulers of this world.
The trials we face may test our commitment. But we will find opportunities to exalt the King if we trust Him for the strength to go beyond the words of the crowd-pleasers and do right as He defines it in His Word. —Bill Crowder
Say not, “The days are evil. Who’s to blame?”
And fold the hand and acquiesce—oh, shame!
Stand up, speak out, and bravely, in God’s name,
Be strong! —Babcock
We must choose daily the way of the cross over the way of the crowd. —Warren
Coming soon to a theatre near you, SMELLYVISION! You’ll SMELL what’s on the screen!
You’ll be able to watch Jurassic Park someday soon and be able to smell dinosaur breath wafting up your nose! SmellyVision is coming to a cinema near you! Inventor Stefan Reutz has invented a machine which will recreate the smells of a movie. When you walk into the theatre, you’d be given a Walkman-sized silver “Sniffman” which would be worn around your neck. During the movie, it will squirt out the appropriate fragrance every 20 to 40 seconds. Mr Reutz said: “Imagine it in a film like Jurassic Park… it would smell like bogs and rainforests.” During romantic scenes, “When the hero bends down to kiss the princess you’ll be able to smell the perfume she’s wearing.”
Scenes from movies we’d rather NOT smell:
- Trash compactor scene from Star Wars
- Dino-dung scene from Jurassic Park
- Any scene from Back to the Future or Back to the Future 2 involving Biff crashing his car.
LIFE… LIVE IT
According to a survey by Colgate toothpaste, 79 percent of singles spend a 47 minutes getting ready for a first date. That includes both men and women. 42 percent admit that they like to believe each date is a chance to meet “the one.” Additionally, 40 percent of singles say smoking is a deal-breaker for romance, while 5 percent refuse to go out on a second date with someone who insists on answering his or her cell phone during the first date. Here are the things that Men’s Health says guys should NOT say or do on a first date.
- Don’t tell her how much money you make. Sell your personality, not your wallet.
- Don’t get drunk. You look stupid, and you say stupid things.
- Do not use the word “proactive” unless she’s specifically told you of her mad attraction to motivational speakers.
- Do not refer to your “issues” unless she’s specifically told you of her mad attraction to men in analysis.
- Don’t dress creatively. On a first date, she needs reassurance that you’re normal. Prove you’re a “funky guy” some other time.
- Don’t give everything away, especially on the family/ex-girlfriend tragedy front. There’s a very real chance she may never return from the ladies room.
- Avoid leaving your shirt unbuttoned to the naval.
- Avoid the Ricky Martin impersonation. Dancing is risky.
- Don’t go on and on about high school. There’s a certain kind of man for whom the mid-to-late teen years still factor as the most glorious period of his life. Chances are she is not interested in getting to know this man any better.
- If it was your idea to go out, it’s your responsibility to pick up the check. If it was hers, split it.
JUST FOR FUN
THE NAVY IS CLOSED, COME BACK TOMORROW
What if the armed forces had only 9 to 5 hours? Would you still feel safe? Sweden is doing that with it’s Navy!
The Swedish navy announced recently that because of slashes in the military budget, it would cut back from around-the-clock operations to 9 a.m. to 5 p.m., Monday through Friday. The army and air force said they have not yet decided whether to remain open on weekends, but that they, too, were hard hit by the legislature’s ban on overtime work. ***MARLAR: So if you’re planning on attacking Sweden, please be courteous and do so between the hours of 9 and 5 weekdays, seeing as the Navy will be out of the office at all other hours…thank you.
SIGNS YOU ARE A NEW FATHER
- Getting six hours of sleep is a privilege.
- The sentence, “Honey, could you take his foot out of my pocket?” sounds normal.
- You are used to doing everything one-handed.
- The thought of your mother-in-law coming over for a few hours is a pleasant one.
- The list of bodily fluids that disgust you has shortened, possibly to zero.
- Your idea of romance is hand-holding.
- You answer the question “How are you?” with “We’re fine.”
- You decide whether a shirt is wearable not based on sweatiness, but based upon how well the spit-up stains match the shirt’s main color.
MORE SHOW PREP STUFF…
DO YOU THINK YOU MIGHT BE BURNING OUT? WE HAVE A TEST TO FIND OUT!
(Today’s Health Magazine, April 1998) Are you burned out or just a little singed? Read each of the following items and rate how often the symptom is true for you at work or away from work. The continuum runs from 1 to 5 with 1 being never or rarely true and 5 being usually true.
- I feel tired even if I’ve gotten adequate sleep.
- I am dissatisfied with my work.
- I feel sad for no apparent reason.
- I am forgetful.
- I am irritable and snap at people.
- I avoid people.
- I have trouble sleeping due to worrying about work.
- I get sick more than I used to.
- My attitude about work is “why bother?”
- I often get into conflicts.
- My job performance is below par.
- I use alcohol and/or drugs to feel better.
- Communicating with others is a strain.
- I can’t concentrate on my work like I once could.
- I am easily bored with work.
- I work hard but accomplish little.
- I feel frustrated with work.
- I don’t like going to work.
- Social activities are draining.
- Romance is not worth the effort.
- I watch TV most of the time when not working.
- I don’t have much to look forward to in my work.
- I worry about work during off hours.
- Feelings about work interfere with my personal life.
- My work seems pointless.
25-50 You’re doing well.
51-75 You’re OK if you take preventive action.
76-100 You’re a good candidate for burnout.
100-125 You’re burning out.
THE WAY WE WORK
(Wednesdays only; The Way WE Work is written by Mark Elfstrand from 1160Hope.com in Chicago.)
OTHER STUFF I WANT TO CRAM INTO TODAY’S PREP
(None On The Weekends)
Peanuts and other nuts may protect against several major causes of death. According to a study that began in 1986 involving 120,000 Dutch adults, people who eat at least 10 grams of nuts or peanuts daily have a lower risk of dying from a range of serious illnesses. The reduction in mortality was strongest for respiratory disease, neurodegenerative disease, and diabetes, followed by cancer and cardiovascular diseases.
Bicycles are a common form of exercise but they can also be a helpful tool of missionaries. In the country of Chad Christian Aid Mission is supporting indigenous gospel workers and investing in the efforts of a native ministry by raising money for bikes. According to Mission Network News, The bicycles will help 30 native missionaries to more quickly travel around the country, showing the Jesus film in rural areas where 72 people groups have yet to hear the gospel.
Retired Olympian Bryan Clay has found a new use for his Javelin, pulling his daughters tooth. The gold medalist retired in 2012 and has been focusing on parenting his little girl. Recently he recorded a video on YouTube. The clip begins with Clay holding a javelin with a long string attached to its end, while the other end of the thread is tied to his daughter’s incisor. The video shows Clay throwing the javelin followed by a clip of Ellie’s mouth with one less tooth. Ah… what would life be like without dads?
AND I LEAVE YOU WITH THIS THOUGHT
I have the strangest feeling that I’ve done this show before. A feeling of Dee Jay Vu.
THE TICKET Movie Reviews with MARIE ASNER
Marie Asner has been reviewing films for over 30 years. Her outlets include radio, print and Internet. For more in-depth movie reviews of the following films, visit www.Tollbooth.org. Ratings from 1 (Low) to 5 (High).
JUNE 19, 2015…
Dope (opening in select cities)—This is a comedy about a young man trying to go to college and a drug situation that turns out wrong. Pharrell Williams wrote many of the songs. The story is set in California, but the young man, Malcolm (Shameik Moore) wants to go to Harvard. “Dope” is rated PG 13. No rating.
Inside Out—Several years ago was a comedy TV series, called “Herman’s Head” starring William Ragsdale, about a man with voices in his head who were always arguing about something. Several actors had the roles of the voices. Now, we have an animated film with emotions who argue in the head of a pre-teen girl named Riley (Kaitlyn Dias). They all come into play when Riley and her family move to a new location. Enough to give one a headache. Voices of Joy (Amy Poehler), Anger (Lewis Black), Disgust (Mindy Kaling), Sadness (Phyllis Smith) and Fear (Bill Hader) . This is a Pixar film. “Inside Out” is rated PG. Rating of 2 for animation fans.
Manglehorn (opening in select cities)—Al Pacino stars in this film about a man trying to manage his life and friendship with a son (Chris Messina), a past girlfriend and a new girlfriend. Pacino plays a locksmith. Also in the cast are Natalie Wilemon and Holly Hunter. “Manglehorn” is rated PG 13. No rating.
The Overnight (opening in select cities)—What happens when you move to a new city? In this cast, Seattle. Well, be careful when making friends as you never know. Taylor Schilling and Adam Scott are a couple who move and are befriended by Jason Schwartzman. Hmm. “The Overnight” is rated PG 13. No rating.
JUNE 26, 2015…
What Happened Miss Simone? is a documentary on the life of the famous singer, Nina Simone.
Ted 2 and it had to happen. The foul-mouthed teddy bear is back in action and this time wants to get married?
Max (and bring hankie to theater) is about an Army dog who is returned to civilian life.
Big Game is an action film starring Samuel L. Jackson.
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