June 21, 2016: Tuesday ONAIRprep

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PRINTER FRIENDLY VERSION: 20160621

 

 

WELCOME TO THE SHOW!

“Radio separates the men from the boys.  You’ve got to be able to write, and to have a good idea, and there’s nowhere to hide.” – Lionel Hunt

 

I was watching an interesting special on the Discovery Channel last night.  We’ve all heard that people for centuries thought the moon was made of green cheese. Then the astronauts found that the moon is really a big hard rock.  But that got me to thinking – couldn’t both views be correct?  After all, that’s what happens to cheese when you leave it laying out.

 

The secret to a productive morning: A good night’s sleep, lots of coffee, stay off Facebook & Twitter. Oh well, there’s always tomorrow.

 

A quick note for those of you who ask me for advice on how to make it in radio.  Please keep in mind that I am NOT one of the overly-paid radio personalities that have agents knocking on their door at all hours in the hopes of earning 13% of my paycheck.  So my advice might not be the best to get you to success.

 

 

BIBLE VERSE OF THE DAY

Blessed are they which are persecuted for righteousness’ sake: for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.  –Matthew 5:10

 

As a father has compassion on his children, so the Lord has compassion on those who fear him. — Psalm 103:13

 

May the God of peace, …that great Shepherd of the sheep, equip you with everything good for doing his will. — Hebrews 13:20-21

 

 

HEARTLIGHT DAILY VERSE, PRAYER & THOUGHT

(From VerseOfTheDay.com)

God made him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God. — 2 Corinthians 5:21

 

Thought: Jesus was perfect, spotless, holy, righteous, and clean. Yet he became what he hated, sin. Why would he do such a thing? Because he loved us and wanted us to be what he is today, the righteousness of God.

 

Prayer: Almighty and loving Father, thank you for making me holy — your righteousness — by the sacrifice of Jesus. Thank you, dear Savior, for paying such a horrible price, not just by dying on the cross, but also by becoming my sin and carrying away my guilt. All praise to you, dear Father, for your plan, and thanks and glory to you, dear Jesus, for your loving sacrifice. Amen.

 

The Thoughts and Prayers for Today’s Verse are written by Phil Ware. You can email questions or comments to phil@heartlight.org.

 

 

BIRTHDAY VERSE” OF THE DAY

The chapter and verse corresponds to the month and the day!

Matthew 6:21 NIV = For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.

 

 

TODAY IS TUESDAY – JUNE 21, 2016

(NOTE: Some holidays may be duplicated due to various calendars reporting conflicting dates)
WEIRD, WACKY, STRANGE, ZANY, ODD, BIZARRE, QUIRKY, UNUSUAL HOLIDAYS!
THERE ARE ONLY 186 SHOPPING DAYS UNTIL CHRISTMAS.   

 

Today is the first full day of SUMMER.

 

Today is STOCK UP ON ANTIPERSPIRANT DAY.  ***MARLAR: After all, it IS the first full day of Summer – you’re going to need it!

 

Today is NATIONAL AIMLESS WANDERING DAY.  ***MARLAR: Also known as “(THE JOCK SHOW).”

 

Today is CUCKOO WARNING DAY.  ***MARLAR: Much like Groundhog Day, but with a twist.  It will be a wet summer if the cuckoo is heard today.

 

Today is BABY BOOMER RECOGNITION DAY.  ***MARLAR: And here’s a quick test.  The more of these you remember, the more likely it is that you’re a Baby Boomer…

 

DO YOU REMEMBER…

*   “Cruising” on a Friday night, listening to the Top 40 on your AM radio?

*   How much popcorn you made when you got that first microwave?

*   When there were only 3 TV channels — and it was so hard to choose what to watch!

*   Where you were when JFK was shot?  (or RLK or MLK?)

*   When the “Domino Theory” meant something other than planning to have pizza for dinner?

*   Who shot J.R.?

*   How scary it was to open that first Apple II to add a card to increase the RAM from 16K all the way up to 64K?

*   When your teenage son or daughter first told you about the Internet?

*   When the Beatles sang “I Want To Hold Your Hand” to Ed Sullivan?

*   How “neat” it was to hear the Beach Boys actually sing surfing music at the beach, on your transistor radio?

*   When you bought your first car that actually had seatbelts installed?

*   When you said that you’d never trust anyone over 30?

*   What a TV test pattern looked like, when the channel went off the air at midnight?

*   When we gave up trying to win “hearts and minds” and settled for “peace with honor?”

*   When the price of gas jumped up to 50 cents per gallon?

*   Watching the first man walk on the moon with “one small step…?”

 

 

TODAY IS ALSO. . .

Atheists Solidarity Day

Cuckoo Warning Day

Go Skateboarding Day

National Daylight Appreciation Day

National Selfie Day

Tall Girl Appreciation Day

World Handshake Day

World Humanist Day

World Music Day

 

 

COMING UP NEXT

WEDNESDAY, JUNE 22

Global Smurfs Day

Stupid Guy Thing Day

Baby Boomer’s Recognition Day

 

THURSDAY, JUNE 23

International Widows’ Day

Let It Go Day

Pink Flamingo Day

Public Service Day

Runner’s Selfie Day

SAT Math Day

Typing Day

 

FRIDAY, JUNE 24

Celebration of the Senses

International Fairy Day

Drive Your Corvette to Work Day

Take Your Dog To Work Day

 

SATURDAY, JUNE 25

AARL (American Radio Relay League) Field Day

National Catfish Day

Great American Backyard Campout

Color TV Day

Day of the Seafarer

Global Beatles Day

 

SUNDAY, JUNE 26

America’s Kids Day

Descendants Day

International Day Against Drug Abuse and Illicit Trafficking

International Day in Support of Victims of Torture

National Canoe Day

National Milkman Day

Log Cabin Day

 

MONDAY, JUNE 27

Decide To Be Married Day

“Happy Birthday To You” Day

Industrial Workers of the World Day

National HIV Testing Day

National Sunglasses Day

PTSD Awareness Day

Please Take My Children To Work Day

 

TUESDAY, JUNE 28

National Columnists’ Day

International Body Piercing Day

 

WEDNESDAY, JUNE 29

(None Today)

 

THURSDAY, JUNE 30

National Bomb Pop Day

National Hand Shake Day

NOW (National Organization For Women) Day

Social Media Day

 

 

ON THIS DAY

1788: The U.S. Constitution went into effect as New Hampshire became the ninth state to ratify it.

 

1955: Sun Records in Memphis released Johnny Cash’s first recording, “Hey, Porter,” backed with “Cry, Cry, Cry.” Sun owner Sam Phillips had turned Cash away a year earlier as being “too country,” but reconsidered after a second audition.

 

1964: Philadelphia Philly Jim Bunning pitched a perfect game, beating the New York Mets 6-0. It was the first perfect game in the National League since 1880.

 

1976: For a movie remake, a 110-foot artificial King Kong was dropped off the World Trade Center in New York City. ***MARLAR: And you thought the PETA people were upset BEFORE!

 

1977: An article in the Wall Street Journal revealed that Kellogg had reduced the iron content of its Frosted Rice after consumers discovered they could move flakes of the cereal around with magnets.

 

1982: A jury in Washington, D.C., found John Hinckley Jr. innocent by reason of insanity in the shootings of President Reagan and three other men.

 

1983: Singer Kathy Mattea signed her first recording contract on her 24th birthday.

 

1988: An 18-month-old Bangladesh boy became the youngest person on record to bite a snake to death.

 

1989: A 15-year-old West Palm Beach, Florida, girl received $81.25 in damages after she sued her prom date for standing her up. ***MARLAR: Pretty much ensuring that she’d never be asked out by anyone ever again.

 

1989: Hollywood’s Don Johnson and Melanie Griffith remarried.

 

1989: The Supreme Court ruled that burning the U.S. flag as a form of political protest is protected by the First Amendment.

 

1990: Singer Little Richard got a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. It was Little Richard Day in Los Angeles.

 

2003: A German driver on the autobahn near Gotha crashed his Volkswagen Passat into the back of a truck when a pair flying underpants landed on his face. One of a passing van full of naked men threw the underpants out the van window. No one was hurt. The naked men did not stop.

 

2003: Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, fifth book in J.K. Rowling`s blockbuster series about a young wizard, hit the book stores and sold 5 million copies the first day.

 

2004: The SpaceShipOne rocket plane punched through Earth’s atmosphere, then glided to a landing in California’s Mojave Desert in the first privately financed manned spaceflight.

 

 

TODAY IN CHRISTIAN HISTORY

1607: English settlers found the first Anglican (later Episcopalian) parish in America at Jamestown, Virginia.

 

1639: Birth of Increase Mather, early American theologian. He published nearly 100 books, and is credited with helping end executions for witchcraft in colonial America.

 

1821: Birth of Henry W. Baker, compiler of ‘Hymns Ancient and Modern’ Ä the unofficial Anglican church hymnal. He also authored the hymn based on Psalm 23: “The King of Love My Shepherd Is.”

 

1821: The African Methodist Episcopal (AME) Zion Church was formally constituted in New York City. Nineteen clergymen were present, representing six African-American churches from New York City; Philadelphia; New Haven, CT and Newark, NJ.

 

1892: Reinhold Niebuhr, American neo-orthodox theologian and ethicist, is born. He rejected some of the optimism of Christian liberalism, arguing for origional sin and for a prophetic, culture-challenging Christianity, but his liberal views on politics, the Bible, and the nature of Christ (he believed Jesus was a moral exemplar, but not fully God) distanced him from conservatives.

 

1897 – Death of Clara H. Scott, who wrote the hymn “Open My Eyes that I May See.” She was killed when thrown from a buggy by a runaway horse.

 

1963: In Rome, Italian Cardinal Giovanni Battista Montini was elected Pope Paul VI, the 261st pontiff of the Catholic Church.

 

1968: Swiss Reformed theologian Karl Barth wrote in a letter: “Faith in God’s revelation has nothing to do with an ideology which glorifies the status quo.”

 

 

HOLLYWOOD, SPORTS AND CELEBRITY FIGURE BIRTHDAYS

  • Actress (Cape Fear, Starsky & Hutch movie) Juliette Lewis, 42
  • Actor (“Melrose Place”, “Desperate Housewives”) Doug Savant, 51 (
    )
  • actress (“Family Ties”) Meredith Baxter 68 (
    )
  • actor (“Family Ties”) Michael Gross 68 (
    )
  • actress (Sister Mary Daniel on “One Life To Live”, Attorney Lorna Scarry on “Law & Order: SVU”) Mariette Hartley 75 (
    )
  • Actor (“The Love Boat’s” Dr. Adam Bricker) Bernie Kopell, 82 (
    )

 

 

BEE-BOP BIRTHDAYS

(Music Artist Birthdays From SongFacts.com)

1929 : Helen Merrill

1932 : Lalo Schifrin

1936 : O.C. Smith

1936 : Nick Noble

1942 : Deodato

1945 : Ray Davies (The Kinks)

1945 : Chris Britton (The Troggs)

1946 : Brenda Holloway

1947 : Joey Molland (Badfinger)

1950 : Joey Kramer (Aerosmith)

1951 : Nils Lofgren (Grin, E Street Band, All Starr Band)

1957 : Mark Brzezicki (Big Country)

1959 : Kathy Mattea

1959 : Marcella Detroit (Shakespear’s Sister)

1968 : Sonique

1975 : Justin Cary (Sixpence None the Richer)

1976 : Mike Einziger (Incubus)

1981 : Brandon Flowers (The Killers)

 

 

SECRETS OF THE UNIVERSE

How is it that men started to be called “Mister?”

While Mr. is common these days, it began as a term of respect, coming to us from two sources. The word “Master” evolved into “Mister” to match the female title, “Mistress.” Mister also developed as a title to set apart skilled workers, or artisans, from the peasantry and common laborers. Here it descends from the Latin, “ministerium,” which meant craft or trade. Over the centuries, as it passed through the lips of enough mumblers and fast talkers, ministerium became mister. By the way, the French Revolution sought to eliminate all special terms of address, replacing them with “Citizen.” That really went too far. Just imagine your children’s looking up at you and saying, “Hello Citizen Johnson!” Sounds like you’re in a George Orwell novel, doesn’t it?

 

 

CHRISTIAN ARTIST NEWS

Do you like the Christian Artist News you see below? It’s just a tiny sample of the 5-6 pages of material you could be receive every weekday… and it’s FREE!  Become one of their subscribers at ChristianRadioShowPrepServices.com!

The Hillsong movie may finally be a reality. The release of Hillsong-Let Hope Rise has been delayed several times due to difficulties with the companies scheduled to oversee the release. However, late last week, it was announced that Pure Flix will release the film on September 16. The film explores Hillsong’s journey from a tiny church in the Sydney suburbs to an influential international ministry whose songs are sung every Sunday by more than 50 million people across the globe.  http://tinyurl.com/zvuztne

 

Mercyme’s Bart Millard says he may finally be ready to forgive St. Louis for the 2011 World Series. That was the year the St. Louis Cardinals defeated Bart’s favorite team, the Texas Rangers, in seven games. This weekend Bart, his son Sam, and other members of Mercyme were invited to take batting practice on the field at Busch Stadium, the home of the St. Louis Cardinals. The pitcher was non other than Mike Matheny, a former catcher and the current manager for the Cardinals.  https://www.instagram.com/p/BGyNvA2Ekxv/

 

Casting Crowns Jaun Devevo is frustrated with this generations roll models. He posted a picture of the front of a magazine in saw recently in a local store. The headline said “Khloe’s Big Announcement-I’m Having A Baby. Below were pictures of five men with the question: Who’s the Daddy. Jaun posted: What great role models we have! I’m so happy I could lock my daughter in her room for 30 years!  https://www.instagram.com/p/BGwoAKvzCFz/

 

Selah member Todd Smith says he this week received the best Father’s Day Present ever. He posted: My twins Ellie & Abby were baptized with over 40 other Crosspoint TV students! Thank you Wes Howard, every youth pastor, and leader who pour into our kids every week!  https://www.instagram.com/p/BGtxIchpyvp/

 

A bit of trivia about Tobymac. He posted this week: I LOVE wake surfing. He posted a picture as he road the wave this week but said it didn’t end as well as he’d hoped. Tobymac says he lost his sunglasses at the end of the ride.  http://ift.tt/1Q6qA7C

 

Want to write Jamie Grace? Now you can. She announced her mailing address this week. It’s:

Team Jamie Grace

3300 Hamilton Mill Rd Ste. 102-134

Buford, GA 30519

***Suites 102 through 134?  She’s so famous she needs 32 rooms?!?!

 

Hawk Nelson member Daniel Biro was showing off his scars this week. He recently had knee replacement surgery and this week shared a video showing the long scar along the side of his knee. Daniel has recovered from the surgery and is now back on stage with Hawk Nelson.  http://twitter.com/hawknelson/status/743180761206034438/video/1

 

Snapchat has another new member. The latest addition to the snapchat world is Phil Wickham. Follow him there with the username: PhilWickham

 

More than $50,000 has already been raised for Big Daddy Weave bass player Jason “Jay” Weaver. Jay has been hospitalized for several weeks with a severe infection that resulted in the amputation of both of his feet and members of Big Daddy Weave hope to raise $150,000 to help pay for his medical expenses. They did have some good news this week, reporting that Jason’s kidney numbers had their biggest drop since monitoring began. His white blood cell count is also down, which means his body is no longer fighting infection!

 

Jason Gray recently released a new album called Where The Light Gets In and he says the project comes from a very personal place in his life. In connection to the Friday release of his latest project, Jason sat down with CCM Magazine to talk about the eight year fight for his marriage that ultimately ended in divorce. Read the entire article…  http://www.ccmmagazine.com/features/jason-gray-open-wounds-open-heart/

 

 

 

NEWS KICKERS

(No news on the weekends.)

 

NEW NEWS KICKERS…

Colleges are using FitDesk bikes help students pedal their way to health. The FitDesk Bike is a stationary bike and ergonomically friendly laptop station that colleges are embracing for health and academic benefits alike. Clemson University in South Carolina was one of the first to install about 12 of these machines in their library, where all students are invited to use them. Officials say that “preliminary data shows that pedaling while studying has a positive effect,”. They add: “We are also seeing that the FitDesk users seem to be a little happier — not jump up and down joy, but more positive.”  *** This is confusing to me – isn’t the whole purpose of sitting down, to get away from exercise?

http://nbcnews.to/20TItHO

 

Scientists have discovered another galaxy, located 4 billion light years from earth. The hidden dwarf dark galaxy was discovered by astrophysicists at Stanford. Researchers used a technique called gravitational lensing to discover the new galaxy. They say the process could help researchers also learn about other hidden parts of the universe. ***But at the speed of light it would still take you 4 billion years to get there – so be sure to use the restroom before you leave, and pack a lunch.

 

Authorities in China have shut down a health clinic (in Taiyuan) for selling what they claimed to be a “Nobel Prize-winning” device that turns water into an all-curing elixir. Patients were sold a $1,000 device for treating the water. A woman with a heart condition said she “felt better” after drinking three glasses of the water.  ***Sounds like it actually worked then – where can I get one of these marvelous machines?!?

 

A Norwegian funeral home accidentally sent a letter to an old woman telling her of a special discount offer on her own tombstone. The woman was shocked to read a letter offering sympathy about her recent death.  ***What do you want on YOUR Tombstone?  I’m thinking the words, “Hey – get me out of there, I’m not dead yet!”

 

Donald Trump says that if he’s elected president, he would accept a visit by Kim Jong Un.  *** Apparently dictators need to stick together.

 

A guy in England will run a 53-mile ultra-marathon this coming weekend (June 25-26) for charity. He’s hoping to raise over $14,000, and in order to get noticed he’ll be running as a Viking – dressed in chain mail. His costume will add about 40 pounds to his body.  *** This man is better than I would ever be.  I’d pay $14,000 to avoid running 53-miles.  Heck, I’d pay that to avoid running 5 miles.

 

 

NEWS KICKER EVERGREENS…

According to a study by The Daily Mail, even a small amount of alcohol can make other people seem more attractive.  ***MARLAR: You can find this report in the website’s Stuff We Already Knew section.

 

According to a survey by Driver’s Seat Road Rage, Houston was the home of the least courteous drivers in America.  ***Instead of “Howdy”, Houston residents now greet people with a rude hand gesture.

 

Eating milk chocolate can improve your brain activity. Scientists now say you should eat some milk chocolate before your next exam or big work project. ***MARLAR: I use chocolate in my coffee every single morning… and if this is how I am when my brain activity is improved, imagine what kind of an idiot I am before my first cup of Joe!

 

How do you keep people from using their phones while driving?  They think they’ve found a solution.  Researchers have discovered how to stop drivers using their phones when they are behind the wheel without affecting use for passengers.  A team at Stevens Institute of Technology and Rutgers in New Jersey have created a system which shuts down a driver’s phone without affecting other people in the vehicle.  It utilizes a phone’s Bluetooth connection and a vehicle’s speakers to detect if the driver is using their mobile phone while driving.  ***MARLAR: This sounds like a good idea – up to a point.  What if the person in the back seat needs to make a phone call to the driver?  Then what?

 

 

WONDER WOMAN

CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD TODAY’S EPISODE… “Doctor’s Practice”

 

 

DAILY COMEDY CLIP

CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD TODAY’S EPISODE… Bob Smiley, “Run Forest Run”

 

 

AS THE JUNGLE TURNS – WEEKDAY VERSION

CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD TUESDAY’S EPISODE  
OPEN: Last time on As the Jungle Turns, Marvy Snuffleson was tired of work.  School, homework, chores, cleaning his room… but now he’s on Razzleflabbin Island, where the weekly calendar clock tells them Sunday is for attending church, weekdays are for work, and Saturday is for rest and relaxation.  And on Razzleflabbin Island – it’s now Saturday… and Marvy Snuffleson is loving it!

 

CLOSE: Bread and water to eat – but also no work!  What will Marvy decide to do?  Tune in again next time to find out, As the Jungle Turns!

 

 

AS THE JUNGLE TURNS – SATURDAY/SUNDAY VERSION

CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD THE EPISODE FOR THE WEEKEND OF JUNE 25/26

 

OPEN: And now, FancyMonkey.com, (Show Name), and (Station Call Letters) bring you As the Jungle Turns!  Last time, Marvy Snuffleson’s parents were disappointed in Marvy because he refused to play or even get to know Scotty – the new kid on the block.  He wasn’t friendly at all.  Of course, it’s not really Marvy’s fault, because after all, everyone knows you don’t hang out with the new kid… it’s just not done… right?

 

CLOSE: As if not playing with the new kid wasn’t bad enough, now Marvy may never be able to play with anyone ever again – he’s washed out onto the high seas!  Tune in next time to find out what happens, As the Jungle Turns!

 

***You may simulcast “As the Jungle Turns” on the Internet stream of your live broadcast only. Any other Internet use of “As the Jungle Turns” in whole or part including podcasting of your live broadcast is a violation of copyright law. Thank you for your cooperation on this vitally important issue. If you have any questions, please e-mail us and ask about “Jungle Jam & Friends the Radio Show” usage.

 

 

MOMENT OF DUH

A Moment of Duh from a listener!

Hello, (JOCK).  I can’t use my name, because my wife would kill me, but I still can’t help but share this story with you.  My wife called me this morning when she was driving to work.  She was really frustrated and said she couldn’t find her cell phone anywhere.  I asked her, “aren’t you talking on it?”

She didn’t say anything for about twenty seconds and then told me, “You are NOT going to tell anybody about this!”

“Well, nobody except (JOCK) on (STATION),” I said.  She made me promise not to use my name or hers.  Hope you like this real-life Moment of Duh.  We listen to your show every day; it makes the day for us!

–Anonymous

 

 

TOP TEN

TOP TEN REAL REASONS THE CHINESE BUILT THE GREAT WALL

 

  1. Started as a college hazing stunt in Mongolia

 

  1. Ancient philosophers foresaw the coming of Britney Spears.

 

  1. The Chinese inventor of the skateboard needed something to “shread” on.

 

  1. It’s really a big, huge zipper that holds two tectonic plates together. Apparently, they were having chronic earthquakes.

 

  1. They were planning on building the worlds biggest subdivision.

 

  1. Insomnia is a scary affliction.

 

  1. It all started when the Emperor’s Wife saw this fabulous 2-for-1 sale on wallpaper.

 

  1. They really planned on just having a pretty good wall, but you know how these home hobby projects tend to grow.

 

  1. What else would you do with 8,234,376,665 rocks?

 

  1. Chinese? Everyone knows Al Gore built the Great Wall!

 

 

THE FILES OF LAW & DISORDER

Sometimes criminals take stupidity to a whole new level.

 

FILE #1: Curtis Sherman gave a bank teller in western Washington a note demanding money. On the back of the note was a name and phone number of a person who turned out to be his girlfriend. Before he was caught, he robbed another bank the next day. This time, he had a cab driver help him find a bank that was open on Saturday. Then, he borrowed a pen and paper to write a holdup note that was easily traced to the cab. To top it all off, he stiffed the cabby. He was finally arrested the next day — for shoplifting in the same store where the second bank branch was located.

 

FILE #2: A retired police chief says he was robbed by “probably the dumbest criminal in Pennsylvania.” It happened at a police officers’ convention, of all places. The retired chief says as he came out of a stall in the men’s room, a man was pointing a gun in his face, demanding money. The chief did what he was told, handing over his money and cell phone. But when the robber turned and ran, the former cop and some colleagues chased him. They arrested the guy as he was trying to leave in a taxi.

 

FILE #3: A Michigan man who’s accused of breaking into a gas station might have gotten his inspiration from “Prison Break.” Except he didn’t have control over the script.  Police say once the guy had broken in to the gas station, he had a few smokes and drank some booze. Then, he called 911 so he’d be arrested because he wanted to see his brother in jail. But, the guy wasn’t allowed to see his brother. Now, he’s pleaded guilty to a lesser charge of “attempted” breaking and entering. His sentencing is in one month. That’s when he’ll find out how much time he’ll get to spend in jail, and whether or not he’ll be bunking with his brother.

 

STRANGE LAW: Throwing snowballs will result in a $50 fine in Provo, Utah.

 

 

THIS IS YOUR BRAIN ON DRUGS

Sometimes even non-humans can have drug problems. 

A dog that ran off from its owner in Seattle’s Seward Park found and ate some marijuana and got high. Owner Jen Nestor Waddell told KING-TV the 11-year-old black Lab mix named Jack was “just stoned” May 12 after they returned home from the park. The dog’s eyes glossed over and he had trouble walking. The vet said Jack had swallowed a large amount of dried, harvested marijuana. After some medication to induce vomiting and a night of rest Jack was back to normal. Waddell told police about the drugs and joked they could borrow Jack to find them if they paid the $1,500 vet bill.

 

 

PHONER PHUN

Today is BABY BOOMER RECOGNITION DAY.  ***MARLAR: And here’s a quick test.  The more of these you remember, the more likely it is that you’re a Baby Boomer…

 

DO YOU REMEMBER…

*   “Cruising” on a Friday night, listening to the Top 40 on your AM radio?

*   How much popcorn you made when you got that first microwave?

*   When there were only 3 TV channels — and it was so hard to choose what to watch!

*   Where you were when JFK was shot?  (or RLK or MLK?)

*   When the “Domino Theory” meant something other than planning to have pizza for dinner?

*   Who shot J.R.?

*   How scary it was to open that first Apple II to add a card to increase the RAM from 16K all the way up to 64K?

*   When your teenage son or daughter first told you about the Internet?

*   When the Beatles sang “I Want To Hold Your Hand” to Ed Sullivan?

*   How “neat” it was to hear the Beach Boys actually sing surfing music at the beach, on your transistor radio?

*   When you bought your first car that actually had seatbelts installed?

*   When you said that you’d never trust anyone over 30?

*   What a TV test pattern looked like, when the channel went off the air at midnight?

*   When we gave up trying to win “hearts and minds” and settled for “peace with honor?”

*   When the price of gas jumped up to 50 cents per gallon?

*   Watching the first man walk on the moon with “one small step…?”

 

***PHONER: What did we miss?

 

 

BIBLE BRAIN BUSTER!

QUESTION: Jonah and what other prophet were sent by God to minister to Nineveh?
ANSWER: Nahum — (Nahum1:1)

 

 

QUESTION IMPOSSIBLE

QUESTION: What is the world’s largest office building?

ANSWER: The Pentagon with 6.5 million square feet.

 

 

TRUE OR FALSE

Pay attention!  If our next player doesn’t answer all ten T/F questions correctly we start all over from question #1!  First person to answer question #10 correctly is our winner!

 

  1. A deltiologist collects exercise equipment. (False – postcards)

 

  1. Seat belts became mandatory on U.S. cars in 1978. (False – March 1, 1968)

 

  1. The average sixty minute audio cassette tape has 200.8 feet of tape in it. (False – 562.5 feet)

 

  1. The launching mechanism of a carrier ship that helps planes to take off, could throw an average pickup truck over a mile. (True)

 

  1. The quartz crystal in your wristwatch vibrates 32,768 times a minute. (False – a second!)

 

  1. The side of a hammer is a called the “flat”. (False – the cheek)

 

  1. A canton is the blue field behind the stars in the U.S. flag. (True)

 

  1. A bonnet is the cap on the fire hydrant. (True)

 

  1. Before Prohibition, Shlitz Brewery owned more property in Chicago than anyone else. (False – they owned more property than anyone, except The Catholic Church)

 

  1. The little lump of flesh just forward of your ear canal, right next to your temple, is called a tragus. (True)

 

 

TABLOID MATCH GAME

You have to match the blank in the tabloid headline with the word or phrase that has been removed!

PICKLES CURE ______ (OBESITY)

Scientists have discovered that eating homemade pickles – cures obesity!

The best way to fight “fat bacteria” is to eat homemade pickles.  This is according to a new study out of Harvard, Cambridge and the Culinary Institute of America.

“If you eat homemade pickles, you will lose all the excess weight you carry on your frame,” said famed nutritionist, Jacob Walkmer.  ”Five to ten pickles a day after that will help you maintain your ideal weight, for the rest of you life.”

Microbiologists discovered that we are made up of 90 per cent bacteria. Nine out of every ten cells in our bodies are not human but belong to these microbial species (most of them residents of our gut).

The pickles fight the bacteria in the gut and enhance growth of “fat-killing bacteria.”

“You have to eat the pickles as soon as you wake up and then have two or three right before you go to bed,” said Walkmer.  ”If you do this, you will, absolutely lose weight.”

If you change the ratio of bad bacteria to good bacteria in your stomach, you will lose weight – fast – according to the study.

The Western diet, with its refined carbohydrates, highly processed foods, and dearth of fresh vegetables, preserves foods by killing bacteria and then deprives our gut bacteria of much that is good for them to ferment and grow.

‘Probiotics – beneficial bacteria ingested either in fermented foods or in supplements – have been shown to calm the immune system and reduce inflammation; shorten the duration and severity of colds in children; relieve diarrhea and irritable bowel syndrome; reduce allergic responses; stimulate the immune response; possibly reduce the risk of certain cancers; and improve the health and function of the gut.

And the best probiotic every created – pickles.

So, go ferment some pickles – and lose weight!

 

 

THE WAY TOO EARLY IN THE MORNING TO UNDERSTAND THE PUNCHLINE EVEN AFTER TWO CUPS OF COFFEE JOKE OF THE DAY

JOKE #1

There was a farmer who had many pigs.  One day someone went to the farm and asked the farmer: “What do you use to feed your pigs?”

“Well, I give them acorn, corn, and things like that.  Why?”

“Because I am from the Animals Protection Association and I think you don’t feed them like you should, they shouldn’t eat wastes.” Then he fined the farmer.

Some days later, another person arrived and asked the same question.  The farmer answered: “Well, I feed them very well.  I give them salmon, caviar, shrimp, steak…  why?”

“Because I am from the United Nations Organization and I think it’s unfair that you feed your pigs like that when there are people dying with nothing to eat.” And he fined the farmer.

Finally, another man came in and asked just the same question.  The hesitant farmer answered after a few minutes: “Well, I give five dollars to each pig so they can buy whatever they want.”

 

JOKE #2

A couple had been debating the purchase of a new vehicle for weeks. He wanted a new truck. She wanted a fast little sports-like car so she could zip through traffic around town. 
He would probably have settled on any beat up old truck, but everything she seemed to like was way out of their price range. 
”Look !” she said. I want something that goes from 0 to 200 in 4 seconds or less. “And my birthday is coming up. You could surprise me.” 
For her birthday, he bought her a brand new bathroom scale. 
Services are pending.

 

JOKE #3

An English teacher at Michigan State University spent a lot of time marking grammatical errors on her students’ written work. She wasn’t sure how much impact she was having until one overly busy day when she sat at her desk rubbing her temples.

A student asked, “What’s the matter, Mrs. Sheridan?”

“Tense,” she replied, describing her emotional state.

After a slight pause the student tried again … “What was the matter? What has been the matter? What might have been the matter? … ???”

 

 

USELESS FACTS

A doctor in Austria filed a police complaint after a truck driver threw a cheeseburger at him for driving too slowly, but police told him that wasn’t illegal. ***MARLAR: Apparently Austrians consider cheeseburgers deadly weapons. Here in the U.S. they are considered appetizers.

 

A new study says garlic stinks at reducing cholesterol.  Almost 200 adults given the equivalent of an average clove of garlic a day, six days a week for six months, saw no reduction in their cholesterol level.  ***MARLAR: But garlic-eaters did see a massive reduction in their number of friends.

 

 

FEATURED FUNNIES

FATHER’S DAY SURPRISE

Realizing at the last minute that it was father’s day, a teenage boy rushed to the corner store to grab a card. He quickly found a son-to-father card, but neglected to read it carefully.  Later when his father opened his gifts, he was surprised to read aloud, “Happy Father’s Day to a wonderful Dad. Now that I’m a father too . . .”

 

 

IT MUST BE TRUE BECAUSE I HEARD IT ON THE RADIO!

I’M NOT GOING TO TAKE IT ANYMORE!
In our fast-paced society, we often have a difficult time waiting for things. Gillian Kennedy of Bristol, England, decided she just couldn’t wait any longer for the furniture she ordered and took matters into her own hands. After being told the dresser she ordered 10 weeks ago was still not in and was on backorder from Malaysia, Gillian stormed the furniture store. With a screwdriver in hand she spent 30 minutes taking apart the display model of the dresser she wanted and put the pieces in her car. Walking out the door she yelled to the store’s staff, “Don’t you dare try to stop me!” And they didn’t!  ***MARLAR: Two syllables for Gillian… DE-CAF.

 

 

INSPIRATIONAL INSPIRATION

DAD’S GREATEST JOB
I may never be as clever as my neighbors down the street,
I may never be as wealthy as some other men I meet;
I may never have the glory that some other men have had,
But I’ve got to be successful as a little fellow’s dad.

There are certain dreams I cherish that I’d like to see come true.
There are things I would accomplish, ere my working time is through;
But the task my heart is set on is to guide a little lad
And make myself successful as that little fellow’s dad.

I may never get earth’s glory; I may never gather gold;
Men may count me as a failure when my business life is told;
But if he who follows after is a Christian, I’ll be glad,
For I’ll know I’ve been successful as a little fellow’s dad.

 

 

DRIVE TIME DEVOTIONAL

SMART DAD

Read: Proverbs 4:14-27

Whoever loves wisdom makes his father rejoice. —Proverbs 29:3

A hard-working single dad named William Jackson Smart was the inspiration for the creation of Father’s Day. His wife died in 1898 while giving birth to their sixth child, and the Civil War veteran was left to raise the children alone in rural Washington.

In May 1909, Smart’s daughter, by then a married woman named Sonora Dodd, heard a sermon enumerating the virtues of motherhood. It was Mother’s Day, a new American holiday that had begun the previous year. Sonora decided to honor her dad’s dedication to his children by seeking to have a Father’s Day designated on the calendar. The day caught on, but it wasn’t permanently established as an annual holiday in the US until 1972.

What a vital role fathers can play in the home as they train their children to follow God’s ways! Proverbs 4 gives these nuggets of wisdom that dads can pass on to their children: “Do not enter the path of the wicked” (v.14). “Keep your heart with all diligence” (v.23). “Put away from you a deceitful mouth” (v.24). And finally, “Remove your foot from evil” (v.27).

We honor our godly fathers by obeying their instruction. And we should pray for all dads to recognize their God-given role of training in the home. —JDB

 

We’re thankful for good fathers, Lord,
They’re special gifts from You;
Help us to show we honor them
By what we say and do. —Sper

 

Good fathers not only tell us how to live—they show us.

 

 

LEFTOVERS

HOW MUCH BEER IS THAT AGAIN?

You know how some people, after they use something, just can’t bear to throw it away. That might make sense if it’s magazines or clothes. But what if it’s empty beer cans? In astounding numbers?

…When property manager Ryan Froerer checked on an Ogden, Utah, townhouse, he knew something was up. Ryan couldn’t even open the front door. It was blocked from inside. From 70,000 beer cans. The water and heat were shut off, apparently on purpose by the tenant, who evidently drank Coors Light beer exclusively for the eight years he lived there. To all outward appearances, the person who lived in the townhouse was the perfect tenant. He always paid on time and he never complained. He kept a low profile in the neighborhood. The cans were recycled for 800 dollars. And by the way, to burn through 70,000 beers in 8 years you’d have to drink 24 beers a day. (

)

 

 

LIFE… LIVE IT

TOP U.S. AMUSEMENT PARKS TO VISIT THIS SUMMER

  • Astroland Amusement Park (Brooklyn, NY) – Featuring the world famous Cyclone.
  • Busch Gardens (Tampa Bay, FL) – Besides rides, there’s the Edge of Africa safari experience.
  • Cedar Point Amusement Park (Sandusky, OH) – 68 rides, 16 rollercoasters!
  • Disneyland (Anaheim, CA) – Main Street, USA; Pirates of the Caribbean, etc.
  • Kennywood Park (West Mifflin, PA) – Old fashioned park, but with five major coasters.
  • Knott’s Camp Snoopy (Bloomington, MN) – Largest indoor theme park inside the Mall of America.
  • Magic Kingdom (Lake Buena Vista, FL) – Adventureland, Frontierland, Fantasyland and more.
  • Paramount’s Carowinds (Charlotte, NC) – Featuring the tallest body slide on the East Coast.
  • Santa Cruz Beach Boardwalk (Santa Cruz, CA) – Old school boardwalk with carousel, rides, Whack-a-Mole, Skee Ball.
  • Six Flags Astroworld (Houston, TX) – With the Serial Thriller, a suspended, looping coaster and Looney Tunes Town.

 

 

JUST FOR FUN

BEST TV FATHERS

Everyone knows being a dad can be demanding, even on TV. For Father’s Day, TiVo commissioned an independent survey and in 2008 announced the top 25 TV dads of all time to honor the men who take on the toughest — and most rewarding — job of all: fatherhood.  Top honors went to:

  • (5) Ward Cleaver, “Leave it to Beaver”
  • (4) Howard Cunningham, “Happy Days”
  • (3) Pa Ingalls, “Little House on the Prairie”
  • (2) Sheriff Andy Taylor, “The Andy Griffith Show”
  • and at the top of the list, Cliff Huxtable on “The Cosby Show.”

***MARLAR: What disturbs me about this list isn’t those fathers, they’re all great… but the ones at the bottom of the list.  We have lewd, crude, and tattooed fathers coming in positions 21-25.  Keep in mind this is still the list of TOP TV DADS – supposedly, GOOD fathers.  Number 21 is Peter Griffin, from “Family Guy”, then comes Al Bundy, “Married… With Children”, Homer Simpson, “The Simpsons”, number 24 is Tony Soprano, “The Sopranos”, and just barely squeaking in at the end of the “best father list” – Ozzy Osbourne from “The Osbournes.”  Is it no wonder that society is being flushed down the toilet when some of the so called “best” TV dads are always drunk, stoned, running the mob, or running from responsibilities?

 

 

FUN LIST

YOU’RE NOT OLD UNLESS

You’re not old UNLESS you can remember …..

  • Being sent to the drugstore to test vacuum tubes for the TV.
  • When Kool-Aid was the only drink for kids, other than milk and sodas.
  • When there were two types of sneakers for boys.
  • When boys couldn’t wear anything but leather shoes to school.
  • When it took five minutes for the TV to warm up.
  • When all your friends got their hair cut at the kitchen table.
  • When nearly everyone’s mom was at home when the kids got there.
  • When nobody owned a pure-bred dog.
  • When a dime was a decent allowance, and a quarter a huge bonus.
  • When you’d reach into a muddy gutter for a penny.
  • When girls neither dated nor kissed until late high school, if then.
  • When your mom wore nylons that came in two pieces.

 

 

MORE SHOW PREP STUFF…

Next time you catch a cold, forget about vitamin C and aspirin.  Take a good, brisk walk. A new study reveals that exercise helps you fight the common cold. The study showed that men and women who walked 45 minutes a day recovered from colds twice as quickly as couch potatoes.  ***MARLAR: I will never be healthy.

 

 

OTHER STUFF I WANT TO CRAM INTO TODAY’S PREP

A Colorado mother fought off mountain lion that attacked her 5-year-old son over the weekend. According to the Washington Post, the woman was inside of her Colorado home Friday night when she heard screams. She ran outside to discover a mountain lion on her 5-year-old son. Authorities say the mom “was able to physically remove her son from the mountain lion”, receiving minor injuries to her hands and legs in the process. The mountain lion injured the boy’s face, head and neck but, at last report, the child was in fair condition at a hospital in Denver.  http://wapo.st/21sLDSA

 

 

Last year, Mission Network News shared the story of a Buddhist Lama from Tibet who came to Christ and had a vision to plant churches throughout the valleys of the Himalayas. This week, the organization Asian Access shared an update. They reported: “This priest had such an influence in his community, in his nation, that 62 other Buddhist monks have now decided to follow Christ.” And that’s not all. “Just within the last year alone, [church leaders] are estimating that more than 200,000 people have come to Christ as a result of the labors of the Christian community there.”  http://ow.ly/UdsB301iTze

 

 

Peanuts and other nuts may protect against several major causes of death. According to a study that began in 1986 involving 120,000 Dutch adults, people who eat at least 10 grams of nuts or peanuts daily have a lower risk of dying from a range of serious illnesses. The reduction in mortality was strongest for respiratory disease, neurodegenerative disease, and diabetes, followed by cancer and cardiovascular diseases.

http://www.goodnewsnetwork.org/peanuts-may-lower-risk-of-cancer-diabetes-heart-disease/

 

 

AND I LEAVE YOU WITH THIS THOUGHT

I wanted to be a singer, and I tried it once. And the birds left, the sun went out, the rivers and lakes dried up. So I became a radio DJ.

 

 

THE TICKET Movie Reviews with MARIE ASNER

Marie Asner has been reviewing films for over 30 years. Her outlets include radio, print and Internet.  For more in-depth movie reviews of the following films, visit www.Tollbooth.org.  Ratings from 1 (Low) to 5 (High).

 

JUNE 17, 2016…

 

Finding Dory—This animated story, and remember the hit film “Finding Nemo,”  stars the voice of Ellen DeGeneres as Dory, who wants to find her family. Nemo and his Dad are off to join the adventure and help her, along with a myriad of sea creatures. Other voices include Albert Brooks, Dominic West, Hayden Rolence  and Ed O‘Neill. “Finding Dory” is rated G. Rating of 3 for fans.

 

Central Intelligence—Kevin Hart and Dwayne Johnson (“The Rock”) team up looking for spies in the comedy about two guys who just don’t get along out in the field.  Guess the earthquake belt has quieted down (Reference “San Andreas.”) The mayhem continues. “Central Intelligence” is rated PG 13. Rating of 2 for fans and you know who you are.

 

JUNE 24, 2016…

 

Free State Of Jones stars Matthew McConaughey as a farmer, during the Civil War, who lives in Mississippi and rebels against the South.

 

Independence Day 2: Resurgence and here comes the Mother Ship, about the size of Texas and ready to take on Earth. Stars Liam Hemsworth.

 

The Shallows stars Blake Lively in a survival role as a woman who is surfing and has to fight off a giant shark.

 

Hunt For The Wilderpeople starring Sam Neill as a crusty farmer in New Zealand, has a new opening date. Another view of parenting.

 

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Darren Marlar credits all non-original material to the author whenever possible. All other material is original, used with permission, or author unknown. We welcome all comments, questions, and suggestions.  Darren can be reached via his website at www.DarrenMarlar.com.