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***DAILY DOSE OF WEIRD NEWS
***CREATION MOMENTS MINUTE
PRINTER FRIENDLY VERSION: 20150625
WELCOME TO THE SHOW!
And now, here it is again, folks – it’s (THE JOCK SHOW): radio’s answer to absolutely nothing!
BIBLE VERSE OF THE DAY
Make the most of every opportunity. Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone. — Colossians 4:5-6
The Lord is faithful, and he will strengthen and protect you from the evil one. — 2 Thessalonians 3:3
HEARTLIGHT VERSE & THOUGHT
Jesus answered, “Very truly I tell you, no one can enter the kingdom of God unless they are born of water and the Spirit.” — John 3:5
Thought: Water and Spirit — they track together as key components in conversion and the new birth throughout the New Testament. One is an act of submission and surrender. The other a gift and reminder that only God can make us new by his power. No wonder Jesus made them so important to being a part of his Kingdom.
Prayer: Holy and righteous Father. I acknowledge that my best efforts often fail and my consistency isn’t always consistent. That’s why I’m so thankful you have given me your grace in Jesus and made me new by my spiritual birth into your family. In Jesus’ name I pray. Amen.
“BIRTH VERSE” OF THE DAY
The chapter and verse corresponds to the month and the day!
Matthew 6:25 NIV = Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes?
TODAY IS THURSDAY – JUNE 25, 2015
(NOTE: Some holidays may be duplicated due to various calendars reporting conflicting dates)
WEIRD, WACKY, STRANGE, ZANY, ODD, BIZARRE, QUIRKY, UNUSUAL HOLIDAYS!
THERE ARE ONLY 184 SHOPPING DAYS UNTIL CHRISTMAS.
Today is PLEASE TAKE MY CHILDREN TO WORK DAY. ***MARLAR: While “Take Your Daughter or Son to Work Day” has the parent taking the kid to the office, “Please Take My Children to Work Day” is more for the stay-at-home parents, asking someone… anyone… to take their kids to the office for the day so the parent can have a few hours of peace and quiet.
Today is SENSE OF HUMOR IN BED APPRECIATION DAY. ***MARLAR: But seeing as I do a family-friendly radio show, it’s probably best that we skip this one.
Today is LITTLE BIGHORN DAY. The Sioux army, led by Chiefs Crazy Horse and Sitting Bull, wiped out Lt. Col. George Custer’s U.S. forces on this date in 1876 at the Little Bighorn River in Montana. ***MARLAR: Sitting Bull had the edge, as the U.S. forces were distracted trying to figure out how a horn could be both little and big at the same time.
TODAY IS ALSO. . .
Color TV Day (CBS)
Day of the Seafarer
Global Beatles Day
National Hand Shake Day
COMING UP NEXT
FRIDAY, JUNE 26
International Day Against Drug Abuse And Illicit Trafficking
International Day in Support of Victims of Torture
National Canoe Day
SATURDAY, JUNE 27
Decide To Be Married Day
“Happy Birthday To You” Day
Industrial Workers of The World Day
National HIV Testing Day
Great American Backyard Campout
SUNDAY, JUNE 28
International Body Piercing Day
America’s Kids Day
Log Cabin Day
MONDAY, JUNE 29
Please Take My Children To Work Day
TUESDAY, JUNE 30
Leap Second Time Adjustment Day
NOW (National Organization for Women) Day
WEDNESDAY, JULY 01
National GSA Employee Day
Second Half of The Year Day
U.S. Postage Stamp Day
Zip Code Day
THURSDAY, JULY 02
I Forgot Day
Made In The USA Day
World UFO Day
ON THIS DAY
1730: King August II fed some 30,000 people at a military feast in Radewitz, Poland. It was history’s largest banquet.
1785: George Washington retired from hunting and gave away all of his dogs.
1935: United Press reported persistent rumors that Ford was building a 4-cylinder diesel automobile to compete for auto sales in Japan. The new secret car would fly at 70 miles an hour and sell for $300.
1949: Billboard magazine renamed its “Hillbilly Music Chart” as “Country & Western.”
1962: Italian screen star Sophia Loren and film producer Carlo Ponti were charged with bigamy in Rome because Ponti’s Mexican divorce from his first wife was not recognized by Italy.
1969: Guitarist Mick Taylor first appeared with The Rolling Stones at the Coliseum in Rome, replacing Brian Jones. Jones was found dead a week later.
1983: Denzel Washington married Paulette Pearson.
1990: Phoenix recorded an official high temperature of 120 degrees. The next day it would reach 122.
1991: Francis Johnson’s world record 8.7-ton ball of twine, which he had been building since 1950, was moved to a prominent place in downtown Darwin, Minnesota, where more people could see it.
1993: Kim Campbell was sworn in as Canada’s 19th prime minister and the first woman to hold the post.
1999: The San Antonio Spurs won their first NBA title by defeating the New York Knicks, 78-77, in game five of their championship series.
2002: A five-year-old Sicilian boy tore up $1,525 in cash, his father’s monthly salary, the day after his grandfather told him money was trash and couldn’t buy happiness.
2005: Tehran Mayor Mahmoud Ahmadinejad was declared the winner of Iran’s presidential runoff election.
2006: Warren Buffett committed $30 billion to the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation
TODAY IN CHRISTIAN HISTORY
1115: St. Bernard founds a monastery at Clairvaux, France, that would soon become the center of the Cistercian religious order. The order had been established 17 years earlier to restore Benedictine monasticism to a more primitive and austere state, but it is Bernard who is most closely associated with it. He founded 70 Cistercian monasteries, which in turn founded another 100 in his lifetime.
1530: Lutherans present their summary of faith, known as Confession of Augsburg, to Emperor Charles V. Philipp Melanchthon did most of the work preparing it, but it was not presented until it received Martin Luther’s approval.
1580: On the fiftieth anniversary of the Confession of Augsburg, Lutherans publish the Book of Concord, which contains all the official confessions of the Lutheran Church, in German.
1744: The first Methodist conference convenes in London. Leaders set standards for doctrine, liturgy, and discipline, giving an organizational framework to the “Evangelical Revival” touched off by John Wesley and George Whitfield in 1739.
1865: English missionary J. Hudson Taylor forms the China Inland Mission. Its missionaries would have no guaranteed salaries, nor could they appeal for funds; they would simply trust God to supply their needs. Furthermore, its missionaries would adopt Chinese dress and press the gospel into the China interior.
1962: US Supreme Court bans prayers in public schools on a case brought from New York. Governmental statistics show that schools worsened on dozens of measurable problems since then: grades went down, teen pregnancy increased, school violence, etc.
HOLLYWOOD, SPORTS AND CELEBRITY FIGURE BIRTHDAYS
- actress (Nurse Samantha Taggart on “E.R.”, Velma in the Scooby Doo movies) Linda Cardellini 40 (
- TV’s (Miss America 1971, Linda Banks in Meet the Parents) Phyllis George 66
- comic (“Good Times”) Jimmy Walker 68 (
(Music Artist Birthdays From SongFacts.com)
1935 : Eddie Floyd
1940 : Clint Warwick (The Moody Blues)
1945 : Carly Simon
1946 : Allen Lanier (Blue Oyster Cult)
1952 : Tim Finn (Crowded House)
1954 : David Paich (Toto)
1963 : George Michael
1968 : Candyman
1972 : Mike Kroeger (Nickelback)
SECRETS OF THE UNIVERSE
How is dry ice made?
Dry ice–frozen carbon dioxide–is often used to preserve perishable food, such as ice cream (God bless it). But you might perish if you ever ingested dry ice because its temperature is around -110 degrees F. It’s cold enough to burn you if you even touch it. They make dry ice by subjecting carbon dioxide to very high pressure and extreme cold. It turns into a liquid that, when it evaporates, forms a deeply frigid, snow-like substance. That “snow” is then compressed into blocks of dry ice. If allowed to “melt,” dry ice goes directly from a solid state back to a gas, a process known as sublimation. That’s the same word psychiatrists use to describe substituting a benign or creative impulse for a baser one–such as treating yourself to a nice cold dish of ice cream instead of taking an ice pick to someone who’s annoying you.
CHRISTIAN ARTIST NEWS
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Jenny Simmons recently asked her husband one of those questions that every husband fears. She asked: “Am I crazy?” But Jenny said her husband came through with flying colors, giving her what she called the “best answer ever”. Ryan answered: “Yes. Completely. But it takes a little crazy.”
Casting Crowns Juan DeVevo says he has a very strict rule. He does one pun a day. That’s it. No more. Those are the rules. For today’s pun Juan shared a picture of a table covered in deserts and said: look at this table, it’s deserted.
Duncan Phillips has found the perfect floor plan if he ever decides to open a restaurant. A Newsboys fan shared a picture with Duncan of a restaurant where diners each right in the ocean. Included was the text: If Duncan Phillips ever opened a restaurant. Duncan’s reply: Absolutely!
WEIRD & WACKY
|Mermaids, aquatic creatures turn out for Coney Island parade photo
NEW YORK (AP) — Tens of thousands of revelers turned out Saturday for Coney Island’s 33rd annual Mermaid Parade despite gray skies and steady drizzle. “If it starts raining, we’re all fish people,” said Joe Coddington of Queens, who was wearing a crab hat and a shirt that said “butter me up.”…
|Cat wins shelter’s Hero Dog award for saving kid from canine photo
LOS ANGELES (AP) — For the first time, a Los Angeles shelter’s Hero Dog award has gone to a cat. In May 2014, Tara the cat fought off a dog that attacked her 6-year-old owner as he rode his bicycle in the driveway of the family’s Bakersfield home. Tara body-slammed Scrappy, a chow-mix that…
|Portugal pilots warned of 70,000 homing pigeons
LISBON, Portugal (AP) — Airplane pilots in Portugal have been advised to fly with special care after 70,000 homing pigeons were released in Spain to participate in a race back to their homes in Portugal. Portugal’s national civil aviation authority issued a warning after consulting with the…
|60 pizza-makers create nearly mile-long ‘pie’ in Milan
ROME (AP) — The wait was on the long side for the pizza — 18 hours — but this was an extraordinary pie: 1.59545 kilometers, or nearly a mile long. More than 60 of Italy’s best pizza-makers worked through the night to create the pizza at Milan’s world fair, Expo 2015. Their toil was rewarded…
|Calico kitty ‘Bella’ named official cat of the Alamo photo
SAN ANTONIO (AP) — The Alamo has a new official cat. The Texas General Land Office on Thursday announced the calico kitty has the formal title Miss Isabella Francisca Veramendi de Valero. But she goes by Bella. The General Land Office oversees the state-owned landmark in San Antonio. Bella…
|Police: Man drives himself to station, asks for DUI arrest
HOPKINSVILLE, Ky. (AP) — Authorities say a man drove under the influence of alcohol to a small-town Kentucky police station, where he requested that officers arrest him. The Kentucky New Era (http://bit.ly/1MNoFOI) reports that 26-year-old Christopher L. Stewart drove to Tuesday night to the…
|Lost stuffed tiger goes on an adventure at Tampa airport
TAMPA, Fla. (AP) — When a 6-year-old boy left behind his favorite stuffed animal at Tampa International Airport, officials took the toy on an adventure. Owen Lake lost his stuffed tiger, Hobbes, earlier this month on his way to Houston. His mother, Amanda Lake, says she called the…
|Not a fan: Official upset with rap video shot in courtroom
NEW CUMBERLAND, W.Va. (AP) — Guns, fatigues, and a violent crime: A rapper used a West Virginia courtroom to film his vigilante-themed music video, and that has disturbed one local official. Hancock County Commissioner Jeff Davis is not happy that the courtroom was used by a Weirton rapper…
|Bank robber who stopped for biscuits gets state prison
GREENSBURG, Pa. (AP) — A man who was arrested for robbing a western Pennsylvania bank when he stopped to eat biscuits at a nearby restaurant will spend two to four years in prison. The Pittsburgh Tribune-Review (http://bit.ly/1K0lDr8) reports 32-year-old Shane Lindsey, of Arnold, was…
|Massachusetts 6-year-old plays 100 holes of golf for charity
NORTON, Mass. (AP) — A 6-year-old Massachusetts boy has raised $25,000 for cancer research by playing 100 holes of golf in one day in memory of a classmate who died of the disease. Ryan McGuire, of Foxborough, completed the golf marathon Wednesday at MGA Links at Mamantapett, a par-3 course…
|Utah school creates ‘texting lane’ for phone-focused walkers photo
SALT LAKE CITY (AP) — One Utah university is giving students glued to their cellphones a place to call their own: a designated lane for texting while walking. The neon green lanes painted on the stairs to the gym at Utah Valley University were intended as a lighthearted way to brighten up the…
HEALTH & FITNESS
|Study says repealing ‘Obamacare’ would add to budget deficit photo
WASHINGTON (AP) — A nonpartisan government study says repealing President Barack Obama’s signature health care law would modestly increase the budget deficit and the number of uninsured Americans would rise by more than 20 million. The report from the Congressional Budget Office comes ahead…
|Suit asks insurance for disabled homeowners with pit bulls
PORTLAND, Ore. (AP) — People with disabilities shouldn’t be turned down for homeowners insurance just because they have pit bulls for service dogs, a federal court lawsuit filed in Oregon says. Undercover testers who told an insurance company they had disabilities and used pit bulls for…
|Hawaii governor signs first-of-kind state smoking age bill photo
HONOLULU (AP) — Hawaii’s governor has signed a bill to make his state the first to raise the legal smoking age to 21. The measure aims to prevent adolescents from smoking, buying or possessing both traditional and electronic cigarettes. Gov. David Ige signed it into law Friday. Dozens of…
|Utah inmate’s son sues after father misses dialysis, dies
SALT LAKE CITY (AP) — The son of an inmate who died at the Utah state prison has sued corrections officials and health care providers, accusing them of violating his father’s civil rights by failing to give him dialysis for two days. Inmate Ramon C. Estrada died April 5 after two dialysis…
|US doctors help Tanzanian children harmed in albino attacks photo
PHILADELPHIA (AP) — Five Tanzanian children attacked and robbed of limbs because they are albino are being outfitted with prosthetics at a Philadelphia hospital. The Philadelphia Inquirer reports that New York City-based Global Medical Relief Fund connected the children, ages 6 to 16, with…
|Iowa court allows remote dispensing of abortion pill
DES MOINES, Iowa (AP) — The Iowa Supreme Court has struck down a restriction that would have prevented doctors from administering abortion-inducing pills remotely via video teleconferencing, saying it would have placed an undue burden on a woman’s right to get an abortion. Iowa is one of only…
|House bill aims for less e-cigarette regulation photo
WASHINGTON (AP) — House Republicans are pushing to ease proposed government regulations for companies that sell e-cigarettes and other new tobacco products, a move that Democrats charge could lead to unsafe products on the market. A spending bill approved by a House subcommittee Thursday…
|Medicare: House calls can help frail seniors and cut costs photo
WASHINGTON (AP) — An X-ray in the living room. A rapid blood test. A peek into pill bottles and refrigerators. The humble house call can accomplish a lot — and now research suggests that tailoring it to some of Medicare’s frailest patients can improve their care while cutting costs….
|US agrees to pay millions for Agent Orange claims
WASHINGTON (AP) — Ending years of wait, the government agreed Thursday to provide disability benefits to as many as 2,100 Air Force reservists and active-duty forces exposed to Agent Orange residue on airplanes used in the Vietnam War. The new federal rule, approved by the White House Office…
|House votes to kill health care law’s medical device tax photo
WASHINGTON (AP) — The House defied a White House veto threat and voted Thursday to abolish a tax on medical device makers as a group of Democrats uncharacteristically joined Republicans in moving to kill part of President Barack Obama’s health care law. Thursday’s 280-140 House vote was…
|Report: Higher deficits, more uninsured if health law tossed photo
WASHINGTON (AP) — Repealing President Barack Obama’s signature health care law would modestly increase the budget deficit, while the number of uninsured Americans would rise by more than 20 million, said a nonpartisan government study released Friday. The report from the Congressional Budget…
(None on the weekends)
NEW NEWS KICKERS…
A man in the UK is accused of slapping or threatening elderly people for sneezing in public. *** I think his punishment should be: every time he sneezes, an elderly person gets to pummel him with their cane or walker.
Pope Francis says he hasn’t watched TV in 25 years. *** Why? Does he know how all the shows END?
A New Jersey man named Bacon is being accused of assault after he allegedly attacked another person in his home for eating a piece of sausage. ***Sometimes the punch lines write themselves.
A Vermont woman says she’s been bitten by a black widow spider that was hiding in a bag of grapes. ***Be looking for her cameo in the upcoming “Captain America: Civil War”.
NEWS KICKER EVERGREENS…
A recent study estimates 30 out of every (m) million 100-dollar bills is a fake. So to overcome those increasingly creative counterfeiters, the National Research Council has some suggestions. They’re calling on the government to use plastic for low-denomination notes. They also recommend using complex starburst patterns that copiers can’t reproduce. Other ideas include using inks that change color according to temperature, and varying the feel of the paper or other material that notes are printed on. The Council’s report warns that within ten years, even low-skill amateurs will be able to duplicate almost any two-dimensional image. ***MARLAR: Just like Hollywood!
1 out of every 10 photographs ever taken in human history were taken in the last 12 months. ***MARLAR: Most of which are selfies and food pics.
If you think that eating a little bag of potato chips every day won’t hurt you, think again. According to a new British report, eating a bag of potato chips every day is like drinking almost five liters of cooking oil every year. However, the snack food industry is disputing the claim. They say the study over estimates the oil content by basing the calculations on large bags of potato chips. ***MARLAR: Well you can’t just stop at one bag of chips. No one can eat just one! No one can!
Recently the Philadelphia School District paid $700,000 for a management study that found they were inefficient and incompetent; and when a newspaper asked to see it, it took them a week to find a copy. ***MARLAR: Proving the study was accurate.
CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD TODAY’S EPISODE… “Tarzan’s Beard”
DAILY COMEDY CLIP
CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD TODAY’S EPISODE… Darren Marlar, “Related Redheads”
AS THE JUNGLE TURNS – WEEKDAY VERSION
CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD THURSDAY’S EPISODE
OPEN: And now, FancyMonkey.com, (Show Name), and (Station Call Letters) bring you As the Jungle Turns! Last time, all of the jungle animals were at Nozzles the Elephant’s house waiting for pizza… but in the meantime, they were all saying nasty, horrible, terrible things about each other… and writing it all down in Nozzles’ brand new journal he’d bought earlier that day. Suddenly, Gruffy Bear threw the book out the window…
CLOSE: Tune in again next time, as FancyMonkey.com, (Show Name), and (Station Call Letters) bring you another exciting episode of As the Jungle Turns!
AS THE JUNGLE TURNS – SATURDAY/SUNDAY VERSION
CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD THE EPISODE FOR THE WEEKEND OF JUNE 27/28, 2015
OPEN: And now, FancyMonkey.com, (Show Name), and (Station Call Letters) bring you As the Jungle Turns! Last time, Marvy Snuffleson has just arrived home from a very busy day at school, and he was getting really tired of having to be so busy all of the time. Working all day at school, working on homework, working on chores, and now his father wants him to work at cleaning up his room!
CLOSE: What exactly is a weekly calendar clock-tower good for? Tune in again next time As the Jungle Turns!
***You may simulcast “As the Jungle Turns” on the Internet stream of your live broadcast only. Any other Internet use of As the Jungle Turns in whole or part including podcasting of your live broadcast is a violation of copyright law. Thank you for your cooperation on this vitally important issue. If you have any questions, please e-mail us.
MOMENT OF DUH
Unless you live in Europe, you likely couldn’t care less about the game of Cricket. But Jim Young does care – so much so that he played through even though he knew he was having a heart attack!
Jim Young was having a great game with his team from Westmill Village, but then he had a heart attack. So he drank a glass of water and then went back out and scored four more points! After the match a teammate got him an ambulance and he was taken straight to the hospital. Doctors confirmed that he’d had a mild heart attack. He said, “I was getting sixes and fours and feeling really good. Then I got this pain in my chest but it seemed the right thing to carry on. Now I think how stupid I was. It could have killed me.” Worst part – his team lost anyway.
TOP TEN REASON TO MOVE TO CALIFORNIA
- You’ve always wanted a governor that could defeat aliens.
- Little known Prop 44, providing state subsidized dates to the socially disadvantaged
- Celebrity Trials
- There isn’t enough tofu to feed your addiction in the other 49 states.
- It’s Mudslide Home Relocation program is the best in the country.
- Earthquakes are like nature’s free roller coasters.
- You can get up 3 hours later and still not miss anything.
- You want to get away from all the liars, cheaters, and swindlers back home, and move in with the pros.
- Mudslide Surfing: It’s all the rage.
- It’s home to the California Raisins and the San Diego Chicken. Enough said.
THE FILES OF LAW & DISORDER
Can you be fired for being too courteous? You can if you work in security!
FILE #1: 68 year old Elsie Holdren recently lost her job as a security officer in a courthouse in Viera, Florida because her colleagues thought that she was too courteous. She was transferred to a courthouse in nearby Melbourne. Her superior told her that “Due to your caring and giving nature, you are compromising your position as a security officer. Being caring and giving is not a job requirement, nor is it what you are paid to do.”
FILE #2: Our bungling burglar of the day comes from Yokohama, Japan. That’s were a man threatened to blow up a bank branch of a major bank unless they put 30 million yen (about $300,000) into his bank account. In order for the bank to be able to deposit the money into his account, they needed his bank account number. Which he gave them. Which in turn gave the police his name and address. Needless to say he never got the money and wouldn’t have been able to use for a long time if he did, considering he’ll be locked up for years.
FILE #3: One day will get you twenty, or it could for an inmate that decided to flee from jail the same day that a judge ordered his release. Sherman Lee Parks, 50, had served nine months in the Dallas County, Arkansas, Jail. According to Dallas County Sheriff Donny Ford, “The judge ruled that since they had been locked up for nine months to let them out.” Parks, now wanted for an escape attempt was re-arrested and sent back to the Dallas County Jail the next day.
STRANGE LAW: In Minnesota women may face up to 30 days in jail if they impersonate Santa Claus.
THIS IS YOUR BRAIN ON DRUGS
Sipping a beer after work isn’t that unusual. But it’s probably not the best idea if your career happens to be bank robbery.
Police in Florida say they caught a robber enjoying a cold one across the street from the bank he’s charged with having just held up. Orange County Sheriff’s Commander Jeff Stonebreaker says James Taylor was “just as cool as can be” when deputies found him. Investigators say a witness saw Taylor change clothes in a car and drive it across the street. The Orlando Sentinel reports Taylor was sitting at an outdoor table and sipping a brewski when the law arrived. ***MARLAR: Sounds like he may have had a few BEFORE the robbery.
What if you could put your life up for sale on e-Bay for $2-million– would you do it? You’d sell your home, that person could apply for your job, they’d get your car, your jet ski, plus formal introductions to all of your friends. Then YOU pick up and leave town to start a whole new life with your two million bucks. If you could sell your life and start a new one, would you take the chance? Where would you go? What would you do? What would you miss about your current life?
BIBLE BRAIN BUSTER!
QUESTION: On what day did God create the birds?
ANSWER: The fifth day (Genesis 1:20, 23)
QUESTION: How many miles long is the line an average pencil is capable of drawing?
ANSWER: 35 miles
TRUE OR FALSE
Pay attention! If our next player doesn’t answer all ten T/F questions correctly we start all over from question #1! First person to answer question #10 correctly is our winner!
- The city of Moscow has been around since 1347. (False – 1147)
- A Partridge is a big yellow flower. (False, it’s a medium sized pheasant)
- Wikipedia first went online in 1999. (False – 2001)
- Airports that are at higher altitudes require a longer airstrip due to lower air density. (True)
- The ‘you are here arrow’ on a map is called the ID locator. (False – it’s the IDEO locator)
- The first product to have a bar code was Wrigley’s gum. (True)
- The king of hearts is the only king with a moustache. (False – the only one without a mustache)
- A Boeing 747’s wingspan is longer than the Wright brothers’ first flight. (True)
- Human teeth are almost as hard as rocks. (True)
- Human thighbones are as strong as concrete. (True)
TABLOID MATCH GAME
You have to match the blank in the tabloid headline with the word or phrase that has been removed!
RATS ON ______ (MARS)
Scientists have discovered a rat infestation on Mars.
Nasa’s Mars rover Curiosity took a photo of a rat on Mars in early May. Some dismissed it as an optical illusion, that it was just a rock, but NASA has reportedly confirmed now that it was indeed a rat.
AND in the last few days, NASA has reportedly found that there was not just one rat on Mars – there are thousands of rats on Mars. They are not sure how the rats got on the red planet… but many feel that rats are the first beings that come to life on any planet.
Yes it really does look like a rat. Of course it’s probably just a rock but let’s face it, that’s a boring conclusion. The internet is full of theories about the “rat”. Like for example, maybe it is a rat. Has Nasa released the rat on Mars as part of a secret experiment to see if the planet supports life? Huh? Is it a lab rat? Or is it a Martian?
THE WAY TOO EARLY IN THE MORNING TO UNDERSTAND THE PUNCHLINE EVEN AFTER TWO CUPS OF COFFEE JOKE OF THE DAY
Have I told you the one about the surgeon who knew his patients inside-out?
A couple encouraged their 18-year-old daughter to find a job to help pay for her college education.
One day she came home with five applications, and later that evening the parents read them.
Under “Previous Employment,” she listed “Babysitting.”
And, under “Reason for Leaving” she wrote, “They came home.”
During a soccer game, the coach called one of his 7- year-old soccer players aside and asked, “Do you understand what cooperation is? What a team is?” The little boy nodded in the affirmative.
“Do you understand that what matters is not whether we win or lose but we act together as a team?” The little boy nodded yes.
“So,” the coach continued, “I’m sure you know, when a foul is called, you shouldn’t argue, curse, attack the referee, or call him a jerk. Do you understand all that?” Again the little boy nodded.
He continued, “And when I take you out of the game so another boy gets a chance to play, it’s not good sportsmanship to take out your disappointment on me, is it?” Again the little boy nodded.
“Good,” said the coach. “Now go over there and explain all that to your mother.”
Iran hopes two dolls dressed in traditional Iranian clothing will outsell Barbie. It’s all part of the big plan to offset the influence of Western culture. ***MARLAR: Yet they are following the Western custom of selling all accessories separately.
A proposed Florida law would require that restaurants always have an adequate supply of toilet paper on hand. ***MARLAR: Doesn’t “adequate amount of toilet paper” change depending on what kind of food you serve?
NEW BABY, OLD DOG
The 96-pound hound dog, an “only child” for nine years, was less than enthusiastic about the new baby. The couple had anticipated his discomfort and tried in every way — including formerly forbidden couch privileges and extra treats — to show him he was still a much-loved member of the family. They thought their efforts were paying off — until the day the young mother took him in the car without the baby for the first time. When she came out of the store, she saw him sitting there, high and mighty, with his big doggie rear pushed into the baby seat.
IT MUST BE TRUE BECAUSE I HEARD IT ON THE RADIO!
Imagine going to the hospital to deliver a baby, and then coming home with your new bundle of joy and the initials of your obstetrician carved into your stomach!
It really happened in New York and the obstetrician has pleaded not guilty to felony assault for carving his initials into the stomach of a woman who had just given birth. The lawyer for the “former” Dr. Allan Zarkin claims that the doctor has a brain disorder Pick’s disease and that made him do it! And it’s not the first time! He also etched his monogram into the tummy of Dr. Liana Gedz, a dentist who is suing Zarkin for $5.5 million.
THINK ON THESE THINGS…
What is the first and most important element for a happy Christian home? It is the practice of love. Homes built on animal attraction and lust are destined to crumble and fall. Love is the cohesive force that holds the family together. True love contains an element of spiritual mystery. It embodies loyalty, reverence, and understanding. Love imposes a tremendous responsibility on all members of a family, but it is a responsibility accompanied by glorious rewards.
The Bible says “Love even as Christ…loved the church and gave Himself for it.” How did Christ love the church? He loved it despite its faults, its mistakes, its weaknesses. True love does not fail – it loves despite personality defects, physical blemishes, or mental quirks. Love is deep, abiding, and eternal.
Nothing can bring a sense of security into the home as true love can. Are you practicing love in your home? Pray that the Lord will help us all to listen, love, and care for our loved ones with a heart as sensitive as that of Jesus.
DRIVE TIME DEVOTIONAL
WHY GOD BLESSES
And David knew that the Lord had established him as king over Israel and that his kingdom had been highly exalted for the sake of His people Israel. – (1 Chronicles 14:2)
King David learned an important lesson every leader must learn if he is to ensure God’s continual blessing. He knew why God blessed him. It wasn’t because he deserved it, though he was a man who sought God with his whole heart. It wasn’t because of his great skill, though he was a great military strategist. It wasn’t because he was perfect, for he committed some horrible sins during his reign as king. No, it was for none of these reasons. God blessed David for the “sake of His people Israel.”
God never blesses an individual just for that person’s exclusive benefit. God calls each of us to be a blessing to others. So often we forget this last part. R.G. LeTourneau, a businessman who built heavy construction equipment, came to realize this only after God took him through many trials. Once the Lord had all of LeTourneau, he came to realize that the question wasn’t whether he give 10 percent of what the Lord gave him.
Rather, the question was, “What amount does He want me to keep?” LeTourneau was known for giving 90 percent of his income toward the end of his career and was a great supporter of world missions. But the Lord doesn’t bless businesspeople just for the ability to give financially.
God may not have given you the ability to give large financial gifts, but he has given you many gifts beyond the financial. What is happening with the spiritual fruit of God’s blessing on your life? Is it clogged, or is it freely flowing to others? Ask the Lord to free you to be a blessing to those in your circle of influence.
HATFIELDS VS. MCCOYS
It looks like the Hatfield’s and the McCoy’s may be feuding yet again. This time the feuding is about graves and property rights. Two McCoy’s are suing a descendent of the Hatfield’s because they want to get to the cemetery on the Hatfield’s property where some of the McCoy’s are buried. The descendent of the Hatfield’s says the road is on private property and he doesn’t want to be liable if someone has an accident on it.
LIFE… LIVE IT
The longer couples are married, the crankier they get with each other…
… says a University of Michigan study. Familiarity apparently breeds irritation, says lead researcher Kira Birditt. Longtime spouses are more likely to both criticize their mates for getting on their nerves and to accuse them of being overly demanding. “As we age and become closer and more comfortable with one another, it could be we’re more able to express ourselves to each other,” says Birditt. “Older adults are more likely than younger people to deal with conflict by avoiding confrontations,” explains Birditt. “But when you’re living together, it’s a lot harder to avoid each other. It’s possible that negativity is a normal aspect of close relationships that include lots of daily contact. Furthermore, longtime married couples consistently rated their relationship with their mate as more contentious than with either their children or their friends.” (National Examiner)
JUST FOR FUN
A woman causes a traffic accident because she didn’t use Scotch Guard on her sofa!
A woman in Atlanta, Georgia, caused a 24-vehicle pile-up when she stopped her pickup truck under a bridge to keep the sofa in the back from getting wet when it started raining. Police say the woman swerved suddenly to get under the bridge and caused eight separate accidents, but only minor injuries to the drivers. ***MARLAR: Fortunately there was enough change in the sofa cushions to pay for the ticket she received.
SIGNS YOU’RE BROKE
- American Express calls and asks you to please leave home without it.
- Your idea of a 7-course meal is taking a deep breath outside a restaurant.
- You’re formulating a plan to rob the food bank.
- You finally clean your house, hoping to find spare change.
- McDonalds supplies you with all your kitchen condiments.
- You give blood everyday… just for the orange juice.
- Your rob Peter to pay Paul… and then rob Paul.
- You work in radio.
MORE SHOW PREP STUFF…
NEWLYWED MISTAKES (from women.msn.com)
- Not dealing with debt
- Alienating your friends
- Letting yourself go
- Letting the in-laws become out-laws
- Fighting unfairly
- Becoming obsessed with the next step: babies
I have some additions I’d like to make to the list – mistakes to avoid as newlyweds…
- Not having separate bathrooms
- Going clothes shopping together
- Going on a reality show
- Joining a cult
THE WAY WE WORK
(Wednesdays only; The Way WE Work is written by Mark Elfstrand from 1160Hope.com in Chicago.)
OTHER STUFF I WANT TO CRAM INTO TODAY’S PREP
(None On The Weekends)
Researchers with the U.S. Army have been working with university and industry laboratories to advance the feasibility and application of 3-D printing to produce new types of military rations that are nutritionally customized as well as economical. According to a World Magazine Report, researchers say the idea could eventually be used to print food on demand. This will allow members of the military to reproduce the food they want and eliminate wasted food. The Army food researchers envision a future compact and portable food printer that troops could use in the field to create food on demand, using either ingredients provided to them or even those they could forage for.
What does setting off 1 million fire crackers at one time look and sound like? A town in Asia decided to find out. And if you can imagine a lot of fire, allot of smoke, and a lot of noise you have a pretty good idea of the outcome. Watch it for yourself:
Looking for the hot culinary trends as you plan your dinner parties this summer? Huffington Post is out with a list of some of the new trends in food as the hot weather arrives. They say a few trends include ice cream sandwiches replacing cupcakes, cauliflower replacing kale, and tex-mex out pacing italian. Other new trend items include popsicle cocktails and chilled ramen while officials say fried chicken is also making a comeback.
AND I LEAVE YOU WITH THIS THOUGHT
DIAPER spelled in reverse is REPAID. Think about it.
THE TICKET Movie Reviews with MARIE ASNER
Marie Asner has been reviewing films for over 30 years. Her outlets include radio, print and Internet. For more in-depth movie reviews of the following films, visit www.Tollbooth.org. Ratings from 1 (Low) to 5 (High).
JUNE 19, 2015…
Dope (opening in select cities)—This is a comedy about a young man trying to go to college and a drug situation that turns out wrong. Pharrell Williams wrote many of the songs. The story is set in California, but the young man, Malcolm (Shameik Moore) wants to go to Harvard. “Dope” is rated PG 13. No rating.
Inside Out—Several years ago was a comedy TV series, called “Herman’s Head” starring William Ragsdale, about a man with voices in his head who were always arguing about something. Several actors had the roles of the voices. Now, we have an animated film with emotions who argue in the head of a pre-teen girl named Riley (Kaitlyn Dias). They all come into play when Riley and her family move to a new location. Enough to give one a headache. Voices of Joy (Amy Poehler), Anger (Lewis Black), Disgust (Mindy Kaling), Sadness (Phyllis Smith) and Fear (Bill Hader) . This is a Pixar film. “Inside Out” is rated PG. Rating of 2 for animation fans.
Manglehorn (opening in select cities)—Al Pacino stars in this film about a man trying to manage his life and friendship with a son (Chris Messina), a past girlfriend and a new girlfriend. Pacino plays a locksmith. Also in the cast are Natalie Wilemon and Holly Hunter. “Manglehorn” is rated PG 13. No rating.
The Overnight (opening in select cities)—What happens when you move to a new city? In this cast, Seattle. Well, be careful when making friends as you never know. Taylor Schilling and Adam Scott are a couple who move and are befriended by Jason Schwartzman. Hmm. “The Overnight” is rated PG 13. No rating.
JUNE 26, 2015…
What Happened Miss Simone? is a documentary on the life of the famous singer, Nina Simone.
Ted 2 and it had to happen. The foul-mouthed teddy bear is back in action and this time wants to get married?
Max (and bring hankie to theater) is about an Army dog who is returned to civilian life.
Big Game is an action film starring Samuel L. Jackson.
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